2020.11.27 03:39 oopsspoo Girls hidden pooping
when i was in 7th grade i got my first real boyfriend after having a man family member try to sexually abuse me i really loved him but in the short amount of time we dated he was really manipulative and self harm and told me it was because of me so we just were on and off for years until 11th grade he has ruin me i cant fall in love i have major trust issues with man more cause of him and of stuff that went on when we were together.
fast forward my so call best friend knows him and knows what my ex boyfriend put me through and his other gfs (major cheater he always fucks other girls while with someone) in our first years of being friends she decided to fuck him twice before telling me she told me she would never do it again but stayed talking to him i had catch her many times but said we just friends that killed me so much i forgave her after she told me crying in her car how sorry she was so lets fast forward again a year later i told her i was finally over him what does she does she fucks him again and ask for my permission after the 4th time i was still hurt but decided to keep my feelings hidden and let her so she can have her fun she fucked him multiple times and told me every time he hit her up i had to tell her i did not want to hear it so she stop but did it again so then i started to ask just to see if they still messed around some months yes others no.
fast forward 2 yrs she started getting sick of him so she said they weren't fucking anymore oh i almost forgot he had a gf the whole years they messed around anyways i thought it was going to be finally over and not hear her talk about him but she did tell me all the times he try getting with her.
fast forward again and its 2020 she told me in the car that my ex broke up with his gf and that he told her that he wanted to date her and i feel like she was implying like asking for my permission again but i straight up told her no i will not be your friend at all i don't want him in my life even through you and she said she wasn't even going too but i could see she wanted too i can read her like a book after that she got really sick and had to get major surgery and she's shitting out of a bag from her stomach i was there for her to take care of her i stayed in the hospital and helped her at home she has to loose weight to be able to have her surgery so we been exercising to motivate her but recently a we had to quarantine cause a family member of her had covid and we both had to see if we were negative and we got the negative result and the first thing she does instead of us going exercising she decide to call me and tell me she was at my ex and if her mom calls to tell her I'm with her like WTF i of course don't have a backbone so i said okay but in a tone she new i was upset with her cause i did not sound happy she's been texting me asking what's wrong or if she could drop off some stuff from me she had bought me but i bee ignoring her cause she hasn't been messing around with anyone cause of her poop bag why she go to his house i know they aren't fucking she just showing me she likes him and even if they are fucking i am done we been friends for 6yrs and this been going for almost that long I'm tired of it.
I know its kind of my fault for letting her still mess around with him but im just going to be seen by everybody like a jealous ex whos not over the dude and i am but i hate his guts and don't want him in my life i don't want to be her friend anymore i emotionally cant take it i have clinical depression and anxiety (both diagnose by a doctor) and this situation makes them worse should i tell her why or just let it be and go on about my life?
submitted by oopsspoo to self [link] [comments]
2020.11.26 11:07 heterosexual_sapiens Hidden pooping girls
Warning before I continue: I am horrible at writing casually, and it almost always seems rude or clinical in the way I write. Please take this into consideration lmao: ALSO GET READY FOR A REALLY LONG READ!!!
Hi, I'm Patrick, and I'm from the East Coast of the US. I'm looking for an (initially) online relationship with somebody who believes they might be able to connect with me on a personal, deep level.
Picture of me : I know I need to shave and get a haircut lmao
(This is gonna be all over the place I just realized holy shit)
I'm relatively secular, even though I grew up under Baptist Christianity. I really, REALLY love animals, and also consider myself to be an empathic person. (I literally pride myself on this because empathy was never modeled for me, which is likely why I was such a sociopathic and overall dogshit person in my early years of life.) I use profanity quite a bit, although I'm trying to dial it back. I am a relatively "bipolar" person I'd say (not assuming I have said illness, even if I think I might clinically, I haven't been diagnosed), in that I flip back and forth quite a lot, I can, from other people's perspectives, seemingly flip on a dime. (context for this, sometimes I pick up on niche, tiny differences in tone or attitude, or notice intentional disrespect toward somebody I value, and my opinion of a person can temporarily change then.) I tend to ramble a lot, and sometimes I speak in circles when I'm stressed or just thinking fast, like right now. I have depression and anxiety (social/generalized), and as a result I can become quite mellow or even stressed because of overstimulation.
MY LIFE STORY, somewhat: (This is simply to give context as to how I developed as a person, rather than seeking pity)
I was born to my mother and father, with an older brother, 2 years older in fact. The marriage failed due to my father's midlife crisis and rampant impulsiveness paired with narcissism, which drove him to cheat on my mother. My mom divorced him, but didn't rake him over the coals like she should've, due to her incredibly empathetic and passive nature. She met a new person, who is my stepdad, and he suffered from both drug and alcohol problems. I love the guy, he's a sweet person, but things just didn't work out. My younger brother, who is 4 years younger than me, was had with this guy and my mom. One day she came home to my infant brother facedown on the carpet screaming and crying while my stepdad was high on the couch doing nothing. My mom had given him a final chance and decided that my youngest brother wasn't safe with him. She packed up and moved 4 states away in a drastic measure to save her own sanity. She left me in almost complete full custody of my father and stepmother, as she could not financially afford to keep us with her, as a single mother, in one of the most expensive places in the country. (stepmother is not the same lady he cheated on my mom originally with.) I perceived this, at 4 years old, as being abandoned by my mother. I developed some pretty serious negative habits as a result. What followed this was 7 long years of disgusting, horrible, psychological and minor physical abuse by my father and stepmother. This house consisted of my stepmother, father, older brother, and two younger stepbrothers. (one was 2 months younger, the other was like 6 years younger.) I was treated as the black sheep of the family, a scapegoat if you will. I was given unrealistic responsibilities like using a 15 pound shovel at 6 years old to scoop dog poop off of an entire yard, or being required to read the entire bible as punishment for whatever my siblings framed me for. My father's favorite two methods or punishment were the "Bait and Switch" method, which was approaching me with passiveness, and then suddenly bursting into irrational anger, and the "Isolation" method, where I'd be locked in my room with nothing in it but a bed for several days at a time. This isolation and sheltering whittled away at my mental health for YEARS. I was finally able to go and live with my mom at age 11, and is where I reside today with my grandparents, my mother, my younger brother, a dog, and 7 cats. the last few years have been very VERY hard, and have been a large learning curve for me. I unintentionally blamed my mom for all the abuse I suffered, and as a result I was vehemently verbally disrespectful, I'm talking several minute rants about bullshit that I was put through, blaming her, at a young age. (These rants started when I was like 12.) I eventually grew out of that and my mom is essentially my best friend. She has my best interests at heart and ensures I'm okay 95% of the time, even if she doesn't always nail it. She tries, all that matters.
Severe events that shaped who I am:
-I was sexually assaulted twice in my life; once by a neighbor, and once by a friend. I was 8 the first time, and 12 the second time. Both gave me even worse trust issues, and I believe they may be the cause for my impulse to pursue sexual context in a relationship very quickly. (This is something I've worked on for a while, and I've gotten much better at maintaining healthy pacing in a relationship.)
-I used to be a point by point representation of an niceguys. Although I was like 14 at the time the event I'm about to describe happened, I still fit those characteristics and will forever be disgusted by my own behavior and attitude at the time. In 8th grade, I had developed a sudden crush on a girl, and began to obsess over her. I became increasingly jealous, essentially accusing her of blowing me off for being too nice and stupid shit like that, you know the typical niceguy shtick. Anyways, I had something of a mental breakdown and started pursuing other friends in that manner, and drove them away. I threatened violence at one point even, and became very very socially manipulative, simply because I was desperate and lonely. I felt entitled to a relationship, and it didn't help that all of these feelings were new and intense. I do not justify any of my own actions, and I vilify myself daily for them. Strangely, one of my best friends to this day is that very girl I originally pursued, and I thank the heavens she has forgiven me for my mistakes, as she's a wonderful person. (Obviously I view her platonically now, don't think I could ever engage in that again just due to my own personal disgust.)
-Suicide attempts. I've attempted on my life twice, one day apart from each other. 1/20/18 and 1/21/18. My cat foiled the first, and I was unhurt (literally simply built different) on the second. At the beginning of this year, from January 13th, to January 17th, I was voluntarily admitted to a mental ward for suicidal ideation. (I proposed the idea and those watching me, namely school psychologist and mom) agreed I needed that to cool down and recuperate. As a result of that admission, I now have medication for depression and anxiety, a therapist, and I've learned, functionally, how to deal with stressors in life. I've learned I cannot remove stress, I have to cope with it.
-My first job: like 3 weeks ago I started working at a retail store essentially zoning aisles and pushing product from the back onto the floor. I had to start nightshift, and I also ran out of anxiety medication, so it was immensely difficult, but I did it! I've brought home a couple hundred bucks as a result, so far, and I feel happy as I have tangible evidence of my own hard work. Definitely a boost to my mental health.
Gaming- I've played videogames since I was 3 years old. Super Mario World was the first ever game I ever played, and as a result it became my favorite game, even if I don't play games like it today. I particularly enjoy roleplaying or self-realization games, or those that allow you immense independence. OpenWorld, Adventure, or Sandbox games that are nonlinear tend to draw me in. Games like Minecraft, 7 Days to Die, etc. I also enjoy games like Garry's Mod, Arma 3, and Rust because of the roleplay communities/life simulation servers. Lastly, I've within the last year or so taken immense interest in Procedurally Generated games, namely Roguelikes similar to Binding of Isaac or Caves of Qud. I just enjoy a lot of freedom and complexity in my games, although they aren't dealbreakers and linear games can provide a break from my constant brainstorming. (I have a Laptop, a Desktop, and a PS4 that I play on.)
Worldbuilding- A large hobby of mine that I don't engage in much due to work and depression, worldbuilding is essentially the idea of creating a fictional universe from the ground up in your own image. It's like the ultimate sandbox, playing god and all. It requires a lot of creativity and constant thought, especially as a perfectionist. (An example of worldbuilding would be drawing a map, labelling cities, and delving into those cities by drawing layouts, creating people for the towns, thinking about logistics for economies, wars, technology, language, religion, etc.) It's something I personally value and I have a lot of unfinished projects, most of them using DnD 5e as a template.
Content Creation- Something I enjoy is creating and editing videos, or streaming to an audience. Now, although I've scrapped channels time and time again due to my impatience, it's an important hobby of mine that has allowed me to explore my creative interests and share with the world. I've done gaming, comedy, and many other kinds of videos in the last 6-7 years, and although they haven't given me permanent, measurable growth, I have improved as a person and refined my hobbies as a result.
Media Consumption- Depression has largely limited my ability to independently create entertainment for myself, so at times, mainly around Winter, I delve into various TV Shows or Movies that catch my eye. So far my favorites in recent months are: Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, The Platform, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, and The Circle. I have also watched most of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, essentially everything up to and including Endgame. I used to be afraid of horror movies as a kid, but now they just seem cheesy, although enjoyable, so I've begun taking them up. I've also realized REAL horror movies to me are the psychological, gritty, and the viewer is the target of the horror, rather than the characters in said movie. So, if you look at The Platform or The Circle, both tackle the idea of the human condition, and slow descent into insanity. It leaves you thinking about life for a while afterwards.
Generic/Common Hobbies: I enjoy reading, writing, running, basically every hobby in existence I can get behind. I will try anything once.
-Personality: Something that I value a LOT is the ability to have deep, intellectual conservations with a significant other. If you can hold a conversation or at least listen to ideas/rambling/rants I may have about various topics, like existentialism, that would be a point of connection for us. Another thing I value a lot in a significant other is the idea of communication. Obviously, this is a bit of a buzzword given it's commonality and usage in relationship culture, but it's still relevant as I feel I cannot successfully maintain a relationship if there are hidden struggles, conflicts, or grudges. A third thing that I value is general affirmation, honesty, and kindness. These three things melt my heart and allow me to trust somebody. Finally, I have an incredible preference for humor. If we are unable to connect through comedic relief, it likely will not work out. Although, in your defense, if I like you, I can laugh at anything with you. :P
-Appearance: I hate doing this part, but I feel it's necessary to be honest with myself, and with you. Appearance is rarely, if ever, a dealbreaker for me. I can perceive beauty through personality alone, but preference still exists, even if small/non-intrusive. I tend to be more attracted or drawn to women who are shorter than me, and who are relatively thin. I'm not talking slim-thick or anything like that, as I don't have a preference for that anyways, I just mean thin in general. (obviously slimthick or any other body type isn't a dealbreaker, once again.) I have an additional preference for those who aren't my same ethnicity/race (white), and I also very much have an attraction to nice hands/shoulders/jaws/eyes. I don't know how to clarify that exactly, I guess it's more of a case-by-case basis kind of thing.
-Others: In general, if you are able and willing to carry a conversation with me, and you respect the equality and mutual optimism I prefer to have, we'll do just fine :)
WHAT I WANT IN LIFE:
-I want to become independent. Fully. My end goal is to have a house that is completely paid off, with no debt at all. (I have no debt to begin with, and I plan to keep it that way.) I want to have numerous pets, specifically cats and possibly a dog or two. (Please no huskies unless we train them first holy shit my current husky is a god damn nutjob. Literally runs at you full speed and then bites you, actual crackhead.)
-I do not want kids. The abuse I've faced makes me feel like I'd be an inadequate parent. I also don't want to bring someone into the world given our current political and environmental climate. That's just a life sentence of torture tbh.
-I want to find love. Been looking for it forever and will keep looking.
-I want to become skilled in a variety of fields. I want to be educated, even if not just through college. I want to learn how to do many things, like coding, painting, etc.
-I want to get to a point in my life where I can volunteer a significant portion of my time to better-than-life causes, like animal shelters (which I did for a few months senior year of highschool), or even a soup kitchen.
-I want to officially, fully beat or at least 100% manage depression and anxiety. I fully believe I will have a point in my life where it doesn't seem to control me.
That's all I can think of for now. My DM's are open, come on in :P
submitted by heterosexual_sapiens to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
2020.10.30 16:24 2MindsOneBody Hidden pooping girls
This is a short story, 'cus I am kind of running dry on insperation for Break of Dawn.
So enjoy this.
The war of the Fluffy Herds
Five days ago, they came. A herd of bad fluffies led by an equally worse smarty. They came and demanded of us our food, mares, and homes, things we denied.
They attacked first, but we did not run. We suffered losses, but won that battle. They took our babies, so we took theirs. Those they hated, we treated with love. Those that ran, we chased and dragged back.
Now they serve us, as out litter friends and milk friends (fluffy word for milk bag). As for the smarty, he was buried up to his head, and covered in poopies. When the foals of the captured are born, we will take them, and give them to the ones that lost their own.
-Galadriel Fluffy Queen of the Reject Herd.
The Lines are Drawn By
Five days before she was named, Galadriel was nursing her three foals, one was the honey gold, one was a milk chocolate, and the last was a dark oak, none of the babies were old enough to have mane or tail color yet. Her special friend standing guard outside, his horn shiny and his wings full. A unicorn scout rushed to the tree where the smarty mare lay, “Smawty, deh am a big hewd of meanie wooken fwuffies commin. Dew smawty hab meanest toughies tu.” “Gabbeh dew toughies, an’ anywone dat can pwotech hewd.” She turned to her mate, “gaddah daw mammahs, soon mammahs, and aw dah babbehs into twee nesties.”
Galadriel walked out, and was soon joined by every male alicorn in the herd, all the toughies came, including baby less toughie mares, all the unicorns, pegasus, and earth types, and once the mothers and babies were hidden, her special friend joined them. They formed a wall of fluff, and prepared as the opposing herd approached, upon seeing them, the Smarty separated himself from the group and stepped towards Galadriel, he was a blood red pegasusw type. (w= working wings)
The Battle of Words
Galadriel spoke first, interrupting the initial inhale of the opposing smarty, “Wai aw ‘ou hewe. Dew am wots of woom in dis pwace. You don’ need to be hewe. You can weave nao, discuss peacfuwwy, ow we can fight.” The smarty was taken back by this mare. She was beautiful, more beautiful than his current special friend. “Wisten hewe dummeh mawe,” Galadriel’s herd tensed at the insult, “You awe vewy pwetty, bu’ obviouswy vewy stoopi.” Rage burned in Galadriel’s eyes, but she remained calm, “An’ wai do ‘ou tink dat?” The smarty rolled his eyes, and in a mocking tone, “Duh it am because ‘ou hab many dummeh munstaw fwuffies.”
Every alicorn type in the line up tensed, the founding alicorn types had told the stories of being mis-treated for their horns and wings, and the newer generations all knew this. Galadirel felt the tension and calmly stepped forward, tossing her mane and tail in a way that aroused all the males in the opposing herd, especially the smarty, “Wat makes a fwuffy a munstaw?” The smarty’s special friend had to kick him, “Speciaw fwen’ smawty, stahp wooken at dah odaw smawty, she aweady habs a spechiw fewn.” The smart looked at the fluffy standing close to Galadriel, “Smawty see dat dummeh pwety mawe habs ugwy poopie fwuffy fow spechiaw fwend.”
Galadriel’s mate growled at this, and as he spread his wings to touch them to his horn, he got into the defensive battle stance, similar to the downward dog Yoga position. The rest of the alicorns in the line did the same, in fact, every fluffy did the same. The smarty took a step back at this, but Galadriel flicked her tail, and popped her mate’s nose, “Nu not yet.” The line relaxed folding their wings. Galadriel turned back to the smarty “You call dem monsawt an poopie because of dew wingies, howns, and cowers, but dat onwy pvooes dat ‘ou aw a dummeh, wasist, colowist, poopie, munstah. An’ as fow me, wess.” Galadriel spread her massive wings to their full extent.
The smarty took a step back, Galadriel flicked her tail into the air, the ‘prepare’ sign. The line once more returned to the battle stance. Galadriel raised her wings to the highest position, and flapping them. The opposing smarty gave a ‘REE” and said, “Toughies gib de’ muntaws sowwy hooves, buh weab deh pweatty smawty. Smawty wiww un-munstaw hew.”
The Battle of Hooves
The toughies charged, there were ten in all. Galadriel charged, jumped into a crouching stance, jumped and glided over the toughies, going directly over their heads, and aiming for the smarty. The smarty squealed in fear, turned tail and ran behind his herd, Galadriel close behind. The herd split to get out of the squealing smarty’s path, and tried to block Galadriel, only to get jumped on, or slashed with the sharp curved horn of the furious mare.
The smarty’s herd split into three factions, the mothers and fathers grabbed their babies, put them into a fluff-pile and formed a protective circle, eight not counting babies, the toughies, and other battle fluffies, charged at the reject herd’s line numbering ten, and the other raced to the poopie fluffies, five mare all pregnant, and three poopie fluffies all terrified at the sudden battle. Galadriel finally cornered the smarty. The smarty swallowed a lump in his throat trees and rocks cornering him in fear. “Nao den wets not be hawsty…”
“Shut up.” The smarty shat himself. “You awe daw wostest smawty Fwuffy habs ebaw met, weww owd smawty was wose buh he wong gone.” “Pwees no huwties smawty am gud smawty.” Galadriel rolled her eyes, sat down, and curled her tail around her legs, “Weawy?” “Yesh smawty pwomise.” He was backed up into a tree stump. “Fwuffy saw dat ‘ou had bwon fwuffies in a cownew, aw de poopie eatews?” The smarty gulped, but Galadriel’s eyes penetrated him demanding the truth, “Yesh deh awe, buh dey aw poopie fwuffies, dat am wat dey aw fow.” Galadriel raised an eyebrow, “Dis am pointwess.” She stood up turned around and walked away, clicking her tail side to side, her teats in view swollen for her babies.
She walked one foot, when she felt the smarty bite down on her left teat, pulling away. Galadriel screeched in pain and horror. She wipped aroung and got punched in the face, “Dummeh mawe, soon ‘ou won be mommah, an’ den, ‘ou wiww be smawty’s nuw spechaw fewn.” Darkness swallowed Galadriel as she fainted from the pain.
Stallion vs. the Matriarch
Meanwhile, the two herds were battling fiercely, but the reject herd outnumbered, outmaneuvered, and just in general were better fighters; however, when the smarty saw this, he walked around the battle and headed to the nests. There were no guards, but there were alicorn mothers hugging, shushing, and nursing the herd’s babies. The smarty walked past them to the biggest nest, inside he found Galadriel’s three babies, and Galadriel’s mother. The old matriarch was fourteen years old, but was still a tough old girl.
She had once been an alicorn, but the old smarty, Gokan, had de-winged her in a ploy to be the only alicorn. Her horn was battered from the fluffy revolt against Gokan, but still useable. The matriarch looked the smarty in the eyes, “Who awe ‘ou. Fwuffy hab nebaw seen ‘ou befowe.” The smart puffed up his cheeks, “I am dah neu smawty ob dis hewd, noa wet smawty gib fowebah sweebes to poopie fwuffis.” The matriarch stared with a ‘really’ look on her face. She picked up the brown babies and place them on her back, the honey colored baby was sleeping at the entrance of the nest, out of the smarty’s view. The matriarch could not reach her, but she could keep his attention on her.
“If dummeh poopie smawty wan to gib mah gwand-babbehs fowebah sweepies, den smawty habs to go twough dew gwanny fiwst.” She spoke slowly, calmly, but she was scared, ‘Am to owd fow dis. Wai dew no fwuffies pwotecten dah newstie?’ She puffed her self up and slowly got into the battle stance, “Otay munstaw. Gwand Mommah am weady, bwing it.”
The level of defiance shocked the smarty, but one the less he grinned and began walking into the nest. The matriarch charged at the smarty. The smarty reared back using his wings to jump back and out of the way of the mare. He kept jumping and dodging out of the mare’s way. Eventually, she got tired and began panting, “Stahp mooven stoopie smawty.” The smarty puffed out his chest and cheeks. “Stoopy mawe,” he jumped, flapped and slammed down onto her back, killing her and the two brown babies.
He laughed triumphantly, and to secure his victory, turned around and shat on the three dead fluffies. He then trotted over to the second nest, but was stopped by yell. The smarty turned to see Galadriel’s special friend, charging full speed at him, one of wings damaged form the battle.
The Final Part of the Battle
The reject herd had triumphed over the other herd, and the losing party had either been killed, captured, of surrendered to the triumphant fluffies, and Galadriel’s mate was walking over to his babies, when he saw his ‘mommah’ in law’s defiled body, and then the smarty walking towards the second nest. He screamed in rage and ran at the smarty. The smarty flapped over the charging fluffy, “Dummeh monstaw fwuffy, smawty am winnaw. You’w dummeh smawty aweady defeated. Stoopi, *GAG*.” The slattion punched Smarty in the throat, turned, and bucked him in the face. Knocking out the smarty.
Galadriel awoke and began dragging herself back to her herd. One of the enemy’s poopie mares found her. She could not speak, she was born without vocal cords, but she could show kindness. The poopie mare saw how the reject herd treated their poopie mares, and had abandoned her herd. This mare came up to the wounded Galadriel, and licked her wound clean, stopping infection. She then helped Galadriel stand and walk back to her nest. The herd stopped and stood aside as Galadriel walked forward aided by this mare.
The is What we do with Smarties
The smarty awoke buried up to his head in dirt. Galadriel was in her nest recovering from her left teat being destroyed. The smarty turned to see his special friend being dragged into a bush, her legs bleeding. The smarty tried to cry out, but as soon as sound left his mouth, it was killed with feces. Galadriel’s mate turned and spat on the smarty. The smarty’s poopie nummers, effiee friends, and other rejected members of his herd came forth and shat on him. The poop began to pile up as more and more fluffies stepped forth and shat on him. The smarty swallowed the feces in his mouth and began begging for mercy, but by the time he finally did that, he was already buried alive.
The smarty was suffocating in methane and vile scents; meanwhile, the members of his herd that were treated horribly, were, at first, terrified. But after spending only a few seconds with their new herd mates, they were happy, and ecstatic to aid them in finding the fluffies that fled from the battle. The herd had some losses, but those losses were made up. Galadriel mourned the loss of her two other babies, and the herd was sad for the loss of their matriarch.
Five days later Streak raced into the woods, her father lagged behind. She walked this way and that until she found the source of the fluffy smell. And well… we already know the rest.
I might actually start re-mastering my other stories, but until next time.
-<3 Aris. A.
submitted by 2MindsOneBody to fluffycommunity [link] [comments]
2020.10.30 15:29 MansA130Octl Hidden pooping girls
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2020.10.18 18:38 cryptoabhi Hidden pooping girls
Period: 4.83 days
|Rate (per day)||174.67||1477.36|
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2020.10.07 11:26 Klokinator Cryopod Refresh 254: Shady Skulduggery
Just outside of Hero City, on its western border.
Four Shades, agents of the Devil Emperor, Yama, crawl through the darkness of the night toward the humans' most precious and heavily defended territory. As they zip past the forest on Hero City's western border, they arrive at the three-hundred-foot-high cliffs that lead to the buildings on the city's limits.
Malice, Demise, Vicious, and Greed all move as one, their bodies blending together in the night-time gloom.
"Let's start at the southern edge," the leader, Malice, says. She rubs her shadowy hands together and licks her lips. "I haven't been here before, but our intelligence says there are a bunch of humans holed up under Bahamut's pyramids. I bet we can find many pretty little girls for Master Yama."
Demise, the most powerful of the Shades, nods gruffly. "The Hero's daughter. We must find her first."
"Don't be a spoilsport!" Vicious yells. The most bizarre of the four Shades shifts her shape into a skinny little goblin with melting flesh. "I'm here to have fun. Fun, dammit! Don't think you can push me around! I'm gonna cut apart some men; make 'em scream!! Ehehehe!!"
"No," Greed says, her keen eyes sweeping the cliffs above. "We have to look for the child first. Once we find her, you can fool around all you want. I'll go with Demise. Vicious, you follow Malice and do as she says. Don't screw around, for once. You know what Master Yama will do to us if you mess things up like last time."
Vicious hesitates. She morphs back into her shadow body and slithers toward Greed to poke her shadowy forehead. "Tch! You're a boring sack of potatoes! That's why Master Yama likes me better! I'm a lot more fun in the sack, you dopey-brained bimbo! Nyahahaha!!"
Greed backhands Vicious, smacking the cackling Shade into the darkness. The attack doesn't even faze Vicious, as she immediately explodes into smoke and reforms her body. "Hahaha! Did I touch a nerve?!"
"Shut your mouth, idiot," Greed snarls. "I don't have time for your stupidity. Demise! Let's go!"
Without another word, Greed and Demise zip away, their bodies traveling through the darkness like fish in the sea.
Malice grabs Vicious by the ear. "You'd better pay attention, idiot! I don't like Master Yama's younger toys. You're all too damned hyper and eager to please! Run your mouth around me, and I'll show you how nasty I can be! Got it?!"
Malice's grip somehow holds Vicious taut, preventing her from transforming into dark smoke and escaping. Faced with this cruel punishment, Vicious calms down and whimpers. "I-I'm sorry, Malice! Really sorry! I'll be good, I promise!"
"Damn right, you will," Malice growls. She throws Vicious to the ground like a sack of rocks. "Now, follow me. We're going to pick off as many cute little girls for Master Yama as we can. Do not leave even one scar on their bodies, understand?! Master Yama likes his harem young, pristine, and tight! Don't make me repeat myself."
Vicious ducks her head under the ruthlessness in Vicious' voice. "W-what if all we find are men and old women?"
"I don't care," Malice answers. "Kill them, torture them, whatever you want. A few measly fleshbag lives won't mean anything to me. But like Greed said, we're not here to have fun. We're here to nab the Hero's wife and daughter!"
Greed's excitement increases at the thought of torture being on the table. "I see! But how will we know what those two look like?"
"I've seen a few pictures of the Hero's wife," Malice casually answers. "As for the little girl, look for blond hair and blue eyes. She'll be about six years old. If you see a child fitting that description, just grab her! Better to be safe than sorry!"
"Is that why we're going to the Pyramids?" Vicious asks.
"That's right. A few demon scouts mentioned the humans built a shelter for the women, children, and the elderly there. I'll bet the kid we're looking for is inside."
"Ooooh! Well, let's go, then! We have to make Master Yama happy! Ehehehe!!"
Malice nods. A moment later, she and Vicious flicker away, traveling toward the southern section of the city.
Little do the four Shades know, but not far from where they just stood, the Hero's daughter is hard at work helping her aunt Samantha heal injured soldiers inside the Hero City General Hospital. The building rests at the Western edge of the city, not far above the Shades' meeting location.
Having inadvertently skipped past their quarry, the Shades travel toward the heavily fortified safe zone at the southern end of Hero City. There, deep beneath the Pyramids, inside several gigantic, hollowed out chambers, more than five hundred thousand women, children, and elderly humans and monsters sit at tables and on the floor. They wring their hands together while watching various screens around the underground interior that display the scenes of battle some ten or so miles from Hero City's borders.
The walls, ceiling, and floors of the underground chambers appear as a golden-brown hue, the room's color formed due to the rocks and sand reinforcing the interior. Along with the ancient Egyptian engravings on the walls, hundreds of electrical lights and television monitors give the hideaway an odd mixture of ancient and advanced technology, mixing modern decor with classical designs.
Amidst the huddling citizens, hundreds of T-REX-wearing guards patrol back and forth, keeping their eyes peeled for any disturbances. They focus on the entrances and exits, making sure to have their guns ready at a moment's notice in case any demons come bursting into the safe zones. With Burrowers and Warpers having already made planetfall, the guards can't help but feel nervous. For all they know, at any moment, the ground might explode and demons could start pouring in.
Unseen by the humans, Malice and Vicious silently and stealthily slip into the bunker, keeping as far from the bright lights as possible. The two of them skulk around the much darker interior edges, behind random obstructions that provide cover. The Shades frown in dismay as they realize the overwhelming majority of their prey have chosen to sit in the light-blanketed areas while waiting for the results of the war on the surface.
As beings comprised of darkness, neither of the Shades can step into even the most dimly-lit area without feeling their bodies start to decay. Let alone the scorchingly-lit sections directly below or adjacent to lamps and ceiling bulbs, even the places where the light barely illuminates anything still causes the two invaders to shrink back reflexively.
[Damn,] Vicious hisses, her voice transmitting to Malice telepathically. [These fleshbags aren't as stupid as we thought! Only a few of them are close enough for us to grab, and they're all old and ugly. Sheesh. We won't be able to get any good toys for Master Yama at this rate!]
[For now,] Malice answers, her tone neutral. [That could change, though. Let's hide behind those barrels over there, next to that doorway. It leads to a woman's bathroom. That's where the females go to piss and shit.]
[Ooooh, smart!] Vicious says, her eyes lighting up with delight. [If we wait a while, we'll surely nab a few stragglers!]
[Perhaps, but we can't just faff about. We're on a time limit. We need to find the Hero's daughter before daylight arrives, or else getting back to the warpgate will prove quite tricky...]
Malice glances around the room. Her eyes fall on the many different lights preventing her advances.
Hmm. If I could smash those bulbs and engulf this lair in darkness... hehe... these humans wouldn't stand a chance. Too bad, it'll take me a bit of effort to shatter more than five hundred lights, even if I throw a bunch of rocks at the speed of sound. Such a move would definitely alert the guards, too. Hmm... perhaps I can cut the power...
While the leader of the Shades muses over possible strategies, Vicious keeps her eyes peeled. Suddenly, she grabs Malice. [Kss! Look, sister! A little girl! She's heading for the bathroom!]
Hearing the younger Shades' cry of excitement, Malice nods. [Yes, good. Grab the girl and place her in your 'shadow world.' The more you can nab, the better. Now, be quiet, so I can think.]
Malice returns to her ruminations, while Vicious rubs her claws together with glee. A small child, perhaps six years old, toddles toward the bathroom, all by her lonesome. Her brown hair and pigtails sway up and down as she runs quickly.
"Nnn! Can't hold it any longer! Gotta go, really bad!"
As the child moves away from the bright light of the main room toward the bathroom illuminated in the distance, she crosses through a small in-between area where the light is so faint that it almost disappears. In those twenty or so feet, a strange, creepy, crawling sensation washes over her back.
Before the little girl can react, a pair of shadowy arms leaps out of the darkness from behind her, swings around her front, and grabs her by the mouth.
"Huh? Eugh?! Mmmph!"
The little girl barely lets out a squeak of fright. She tries to tug at the horribly scary hand grabbing her mouth, but before she can react, Vicious drags her back into the darkness and taps the side of her head. The little girl loses consciousness and slumps in Vicious's grasp, entering a deep sleep she can never hope to wake from.
[Ehehehe!] Vicious laughs. [The stupid little brat wet herself! Oh, this is such great fun! I can't believe you're letting me do this all by myself! I hope more babies come bumbling over!]
[Quiet!] Malice snaps. [Can't you see I'm trying to think? Bloody hell. You 'freshies' are all the same, always eager to do what our master says. That's just great, but don't get in my way! Just keep grabbing young meat for Master Yama.]
Vicious snorts. [Tch. Fine! Your breath smells like poop anyway.]
Without another word, Vicious summons shadow bindings onto the helpless child's arms and legs, then opens a small wormhole of shadow energy and stuffs her into a miniature storage dimension. This rift is one all Shades can access, a small, independent realm where they can place people and objects for safe-keeping, a hellish world of darkness that nobody can escape unless the Shades release them intentionally.
[Hee-hee! Ooh, what a delight! Master Yama probably won't like it if I catch him some little boys, but I bet they'd be fun to torture, too! Ehehe! I'll just grab any kid I see! A lady's gotta have her hobbies, after all!]
Fifteen minutes pass.
Vicious nabs several women, with the vast majority of them exceeding ten years of age, and the oldest being thirty-something. After half a dozen women go missing, including a teenage kobold, some of the other people in the bunker start to notice something is amiss. Whispered conversations go around the room, making a few T-REX-wearing soldiers come trotting over, their weapons held at the ready.
"Yes, my daughter went to the bathroom about fifteen minutes ago," A young mother says, as she follows the soldiers. "Her name is Emily. I started looking for her when she didn't come back after five minutes, but I couldn't find her! I'm sorry to be a bother, but I can't let my little girl run around down here. It's not safe!"
"Don't worry, ma'am," One of the soldiers, a woman, answers. "I'm a mother, too. I'll find your little girl."
The other soldier, a male, turns to the mother. "What does Emily look like? I can transmit her information to the other soldiers in this area. Maybe they've seen her."
The mother meets the faceless soldier's gaze. "Um, she's six years old, brown hair, Citizen ID 2A-11754. You might have her in your records."
"Let me check," The man answers. After a few moments, he tilts his head toward the ceiling ever so slightly. "Yeah. I've got her school ID right here. Cute kid. I'll transmit her photo to the other squads."
The mother and two soldiers stop not far from the barrels Vicious and Malice are hiding behind. However, the Shades don't worry about being spotted. Their ability to blend into the shadows makes them impossible to spot.
[Tch. The humans caught on pretty quickly,] Vicious mutters. [Hey, Malice! What should we do now? Wanna find another spot to nab some brats?]
Malice frowns. [No. I want to take out the lights. If we do that, these humans will be like sheep to the slaughter. Grabbing a few random females isn't worth my time, not one bit. I need to get closer to the middle to see if the Hero's daughter is in here. Oh! I just thought of something! I bet there's a control panel hidden somewhere. I used to be a human before Master Yama 'converted' me, so I know all sorts of things a freshy like you never will.]
Vicious tilts her head toward Malice. [You used to be a stinking fleshbag?! Eww, gross! Haha, no wonder you're such a softie! Kekeke! I used to be a pureblooded demon girl, which is why Master Yama likes me more than you!]
[Idiot,] Vicious mutters. [You're young now, but you won't always be. Master Yama will get tired of you eventually and move on to juicier morsels. Don't think you're special just because your face is cute!]
[Speaking from experience, grandma?] Vicious taunts. [Kekeke! All old and dried up! No wonder Master Yama doesn't touch you!]
[Tch. Master Yama likes me just fine. He values my brains over my looks. That's why he made me the leader! Unlike you, I'll always be useful to him. Now, shut up, and follow me! We're going to flip a few switches down here and start attacking the humans while they're distracted!]
Vicious laughs uproariously. [Oh, yes, 'great leader,' nyahahaha! Do lead the way, big-brain-lady!]
The two soldiers standing nearby happen to turn away from the doors just in time for their T-REX's to pick up an anomaly. The sensors in their suits detect a flash of movement in the darkness, making both of the guards swivel on their heels toward the Shades.
"Who's there?! Halt!"
The moment the human commandos turn their heads, their helmet-mounted lights activate, flooding the darkness with scorching brightness. Malice and Vicious get caught unawares, screaming in agony as the unexpected luminous radiance blasts their shadow-imbued bodies. They dart away as quickly as possible, screeching at the top of their lungs. "Aaargh!!"
The two commandos jump in alarm. The female guard immediately activates her internal suit transmitters. "Shit! Shadow-walkers! All teams, this is Private Emma Schmidt; we have hostiles within the evacuation zone! I repeat, multiple hostiles detected! I have confirmed multiple Shadow-Walkers inside the southern end of the Third Pyramid Bunker! In pursuit now!"
Emma and her companion quickly dart forward, intending to chase after Vicious and Malice. However, the two Shades zip away at incredible speeds and slip into a dark enclave, vanishing from sight. By the time both commandos catch up, their enemies have already made a clean getaway.
"Patrol, this is Commander Skarde," A voice says, transmitting over their intercoms. "I'm dispatching five hundred trackers to your position. Follow the hostiles. Confirm their numbers and fighting capability. Do not let them escape."
Emma curses. "Shit. I lost them! David, did you see where they went?"
The male commando beside her scowls angrily behind his mask. "No. I didn't think shadow-walkers could move that fast! By the time I saw them, they'd already disappeared. If it wasn't for Centurion detecting their movements, I'd never have seen them in the first place."
"Shadow-walkers are weak to light," Emma says. "That's why they were skulking around in the shadows. HQ, this is Private Schmidt again. I lost the targets. Last I saw, they traveled somewhere north of my current position."
"Acknowledged," comes the reply from HQ. Elder Skarde pauses for a moment before switching to a wide-range frequency. "Attention, all city defense troopers. We've detected the presence of an unknown quantity of shadow-walkers within the Environmental Shield's borders. Order every citizen to turn on as many lights as they can and flood the city. Don't let anyone leave the well-lit areas until we've exterminated these invaders. I want tripled patrols around the clock for the next eight hours. Gold and Silver squads one through seven, I want you traveling in pairs to execute a three-step spiral search pattern. Encircle the city and work your way inwards. Do not allow these demonic invaders to escape our grasp! Commander Skarde out."
Half a mile from the Third Pyramid, Vicious and Malice emerge into the darkness of the night and hide in some bushes, only to fall to the ground, writhing in pain.
"Aaargh!" Vicious groans. "Burns! The light burns like fire! Ah, those damned fleshbags! How dare they hurt my beautiful body?!"
Malice controls her pain with practiced experience. Having suffered damage from light countless times during her 100,000+ years alive, she has long since learned to grit her teeth and swallow the pain. "Tch! It's all your fault, you... you damned imbecile! You got too grabby with those girls and drew attention to us! Damn! Now we can't go back. The humans are sure to have locked the bunker down."
Vicious pulls herself to her feet and meekly assumes a shadowy, demonic figure, with two long horns sticking out of her head. "D-don't point the finger at me! How was I supposed to know those metal-wearing fleshies would spot us?! Nobody ever has before!"
"Human armor is always special," Malice explains. "Back during the Energy Wars, the humans had all kinds of crazy gadgets. I even used a few before Master Yama took me in. I don't know how these new armor systems work, but it's clear the soldiers can somehow see us, even in the dark. Now that we've alerted them, finding the little girl is going to be that much harder! Let's keep looking for an hour or two, then return to the meeting location. Maybe Greed and Demise had better luck."
Vicious grumbles inaudibly under her breath about how unfairly Malice always treats her, but Malice just ignores her grumbling. After absorbing enough darkness to heal themselves, the two Shades dart away once again, traveling around to search the city, all while avoiding the increased human patrols.
Two hours later, both Shades return to the meeting location at the base of the cliff, just off Hero City's west side. When they arrive, they find Greed and Demise waiting for them.
"Cripes! What took you so long?" Greed asks. "We found the girl!"
"You did?!" Malice gasps. "Where? Did you nab the little brat? What about her mother?"
"We don't have her, not yet," Greed says. "I thought about going in with just me and Demise, but we didn't dare. The little girl isn't with her mother. Phoebe Hiro is still somewhere at the battlefront. But her daughter is right here! She's in the hospital just above us!"
Greed points her finger toward the cliff a few hundred feet above their heads. Malice follows her finger and scowls. "What?! The hospital? And we wasted all that time, too! You should have just grabbed the kid and scrammed!"
"We couldn't," Greed says. "Because the girl has a protector. She's not alone! You won't believe who's with her!"
Malice scowls. "Who? Just tell me! Stop wasting time!"
"It's Belial! The former Second Emperor! She's in the hospital healing humans! We sensed her aura when we got close. That's how we found the girl. If we try to grab her, Belial will detect us. We all have to work together to overpower the succubus!"
Malice's anger and annoyance subsides. She falls silent for more than a minute, contemplating Greed's words.
"Belial. The Second Emperor. Damn. Of all the rotten luck, for her to be here and not at the battlefield. Nobody's seen the demon who took over the First Emperor's position after Satan's death, so that technically means Belial is the strongest demon in the First Hell. We mere Shades aren't nearly strong enough to take her on. Only Master Yama himself could ever be her opponent."
Vicious frowns. "Huh? What do you mean? We're Shades! Belial can't touch us! She's a physical fighter! Beelzebub is way more dangerous than her, what with his flames and all!"
Malice glances at Vicious, then at Greed. "You're too young, Vicious. You haven't seen Belial fight before. She's scary when she's angry. In terms of physical strength, not even Bael or Barbatos is her equal. She's stronger than all of the Hidden Emperors too. Most demons don't know this, but Belial can project low-level energy fields. They aren't versatile, but because of her vast mana reserves, they're insanely strong. If we get too close, she can rip us right out of the darkness and crush our Dark Cores to bits. We'll have to keep away from her and try to slow her down if we want to grab the Hero's daughter."
Demise, having kept silent the whole time, pounds her chest. "I will fight Belial. Malice, you join me and Greed. Vicious will capture the girl."
"Hmm," Malice grunts. "You're definitely the strongest Shade, but you're no match for Belial. You only have the strength of an Ascended Orc. That's not nearly enough to contend with the Second Emperor."
"That does not matter," Demise replies. "I will fight. You shall slow Belial down. We must follow Master Yama's orders. He wants the child. We must give him the child."
"Fine, we'll do it your way," Malice says. After considering her options, she realizes she doesn't have much of a choice. "Vicious. I'll have to rely on you. If I work together with Greed and Demise, the three of us might be able to stall Belial for a bit. You will have to grab the child and run. We'll follow you right afterward."
"Assuming Belial doesn't kill us, that is," Greed adds, annoyance in her voice. "Damn. Never thought I'd have to face death at the hands of an Emperor. This is not how I wanted to go out!"
"We will prevail because we must," Demise says, her intimidating voice somehow reassuring Greed. "Do not lose heart. Belial is strong, but so am I. If I must die, then I shall do so in battle."
Greed sighs. "Most of us just want to pick off the juicy parts of the steak, not choke on the bone. In comparison, you're a damned battle-freak."
"Many thanks for the compliment," Demise says, turning to look at the cliffs above. "Daylight approaches. We must hurry."
Greed doesn't point out that her words weren't complimentary. She merely groans and falls into position behind Demise. "Vicious, Malice, just follow us. We took a peek at the hospital's halls. There are plenty of rooms with the lights off. We'll sneak in through a window and make our way toward the Second Emperor. If we're lucky, the child will wander away at an opportune moment."
"If we don't have to risk our necks, that would be for the best," Malice says with a nod. "I'll die for Master Yama if he gives the command... but that's only 'if.' No reason to throw myself away for one of his casual whims."
Vicious cracks a sinister smile. "Hehehe! This is getting interesting! I hope the little girl is as Grade-A as Master Yama likes! It'd be a shame if she was some ugly, buck-toothed brat."
"Yeah, that would be a shame indeed," Greed mutters.
"Alright, let's go!" Malice hisses. "Keep low, and watch out for patrolling humans!"
All of the other Shades nod in unison. "Yes!"
FOR RETURNING READERS FROM CLASSIC: Please use spoiler tags when commenting on anything that might ruin the story for new readers, especially if that information is based on your knowledge of Classic!
This is what a spoiler looks like! Click it to reveal the text!
submitted by Klokinator to TheCryopodToHell [link] [comments]
>!This is what a spoiler looks like! Click it to reveal the text!!<
2020.10.04 15:53 HILARI0USAND0RIGINAL Pooping hidden girls
YO 👋 YO 💯 YO 💯 listen 👂 up ☝ to my new 🆕😎 rap 🎤! I 👁 just got 🍸 a freddy 5️⃣ hat 🤠!
(HOT 🔥 GIRL 👧 SINGING 🎶🎵🎤) oH 🙀 YeAhhhh 🙇♀️ ITS FREDDY 😫🍉💕 FAZBEARS PIZZA 😋🍕🍴! WHEN 🍑 YOU 👈 GET 🉐 SOME PIZZA 🍕! AND A BIG 😱. PIECE 🧩. OF. ASSSSSS! awesome ✅💯✔ music 🎧 plays 🎮
Me: ya ⛪🙏 my name 🏷 is rappa 3000 🔢 and ill 📝 tell 🗣 ya 🙏 the story 📖 of fredy pizzaria with a freddy 😫🍉💕 goldy and a hot 😍🔥 foxy 🦊 fucking 👦🍑🖕 chica 👌 all 💯 day 🕛🕧📆 long 📏🕚, with a hudge dong 💦🍆🥒, and den 👱🏿🙈 the security 🛡 guard 💂 named 📛 chonged put 😏 his 💦 dong 🍆 in BONNIE 💁🏻!
girl 👩💋💄 takes 👊 off 📴 shirt 👕 and sings 🎵🎶 OH 🙀 YEAAAAAAHHH ITS FREDDY 😫🍉💕 FAZBER PIZZZAAA! WHEN ⏰ U 🍆 GET 👉🔟👈 SOME PIZZA 🍕 AND A. BIG 🍆⬆. PIECE 🍗. OF. QSS
me strokes 😰 dong 🍆 mmmm 🙂 ya 🙏 its fredy fazber pizza 🍕 with huge 😤 dings 🔔 and blongs and bongs 🔬 and frogsssss! with scary 👹 sexy 💦🍆 animatrons!my fnaf rap
YO YO YO listen up to my new rap! I just got a freddy hat!
(HOT GIRL SINGING) oH YeAhhhh ITS FREDDY FAZBEARS PIZZA! WHEN YOU GET SOME PIZZA! AND A BIG. PIECE. OF. ASSSSSS! awesome music plays
Me: ya my name is rappa 3000 and ill tell ya the story of fredy pizzaria with a freddy goldy and a hot foxy fucking chica all day long, with a hudge dong, and den the security guard named chonged put his dong in BONNIE!
girl takes off shirt and sings OH YEAAAAAAHHH ITS FREDDY FAZBER PIZZZAAA! WHEN U GET SOME PIZZA AND A. BIG. PIECE. OF. QSS
me strokes dong mmmm ya its fredy fazber pizza with huge dings and blongs and bongs and frogsssss! with scary sexy animatrons!Cumsockockhttps://discord.gg/huUDGvHahahaha gacha cookie is so funny the sound waves from my laughing just scattered all the atoms in my city into 12 different dimensions and killed thousandsHoly fucking shit, Mother of Jesus Christ damn she's so fucking thick i would rip her pussy and thrust my 12 inch throbbing,veiny,stiff,rock hard pre-ejaculating cock in her tasty delecious pinky pussy as her wounded falopian tubes hurts each time i push it harder and harder inside her,as i goes as deep as it goes and her ovaries feels like It's going to bust while I force her to the wall and forcefully hold her fragile wrist,then I will make her gag on my dick il shatter her throat and hurt her Adam's Apple. ill go so deep in her throat that she will have a asthma attack,my 12 inch cock will fucking take this hot bitch oxygen away.
But that wont be the end of my fun with her. i will torn her pussy apart and leave a bleeding wound on her clitoris, I will reach her cervix and fuck her until she bleed for my twisted pleasure. I will fucking put my 12 inch cock on her rectum she will feel a tingling sensation between her spine and my dick will get out by her mouth, my dick might also rip her stomach of how hard I am.https://youtu.be/IRrQxWonsP0First things first, 4 billion years to create the high-advanced funny anime characters doing funny poses, it's a evolution on our society and on our planet, nothing as it has been seem ever. Also if you don't like gacha... MATE.... DO YOU KNOW HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO? I'M A EX-NAVY SEAL WHO FOUGHT IN THE BIGGEST WAR THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEM, AND IF YOU GET A FUCKING LITTLE BIT OF CRITICISM TOWARDS GACHA, MATE I'M GONNA HACK YOU TROUGH RAT (Remote Administration Tool) AND THEN TRACK YOU DOWN, AND AFTER THAT I'LL PASS MONTHS, YEARS, EVEN DECADES STUDYING YOUR COMPORTMENT, LIKE A TIGER STALKING HIS PRAY, AND AFTER I SEE IT'S A GOOD TIME, I'LL GET THE INCENDIARY ANTI-METERIAL RIFLE I GOT FROM MY 5° YEAR IN THE ARMY AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. I'LL SHOOT THE INCENDIARY BULLET TOWARDS YOUR CAR, EXPLODING IT MAKING YOU GET PTSD, AND THEN WHEN YOU'RE ON THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL, I'LL GET IN THERE, GET MY BLOWING CAR AUDIO THAT I GOT FROM YOUR CAR EXPLODING, AND PUTTING RIGHT IN YOUR EAR, SO YOU CAN SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE CRITICISM TOWARDS THE BEST COMMUNITY IN THE WORLD.
Ok, so let me explain why is gacha the best app. Gacha has alot of awesome epic gaming gaming zoomies zoomer features, like "Twerk" animation and an awesome skin-color default clothe for people who don't "normal" clothes. Also the community is so worried about children that they took about 2 years or more to take out the "sexual" animations. Also our community is so united and wholesome! For example we have the pedos, the children who make gacha sex, kids who think depression is aesthetical and much more! If you think that's enough, the stair goes on, we have our own art style, and again, PRE-MADE BODIES AND COSTUMIZATIONS ARE ART!!!!!! IF YOU THINK THE OPPOSITE I'LL NOT ONLY MAKE YOU GET PTSD, WHEN YOU FALL IN THE GROUND ALL BLOODY-FUCKED AND ALMOST DIEING, I'LL GET NEAR YOU AND DO LIKE THE GUY IN AMV FROM LIL DARKIE DID, I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU UNTIL I FUCKING FALL IN THE GROUND.
SO IF YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN MAKE FUNNY HAHAH FUNNIES ABOUT GACHA BEING TRASH... MATE.... DO YOU KNOW HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO? I'M A EX-NAVY SEAL WHO FOUGHT IN THE BIGGEST WAR THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEM, AND IF YOU GET A FUCKING LITTLE BIT OF CRITICISM TOWARDS GACHA, MATE I'M GONNA HACK YOU TROUGH RAT (Remote Administration Tool) AND THEN TRACK YOU DOWN, AND AFTER THAT I'LL PASS MONTHS, YEARS, EVEN DECADES STUDYING YOUR COMPORTMENT, LIKE A TIGER STALKING HIS PRAY, AND AFTER I SEE IT'S A GOOD TIME, I'LL GET THE INCENDIARY ANTI-METERIAL RIFLE I GOT FROM MY 5° YEAR IN THE ARMY AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. I'LL SHOOT THE INCENDIARY BULLET TOWARDS YOUR CAR, EXPLODING IT MAKING YOU GET PTSD, AND THEN WHEN YOU'RE ON THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL, I'LL GET IN THERE, GET MY BLOWING CAR AUDIO THAT I GOT FROM YOUR CAR EXPLODING, AND PUTTING RIGHT IN YOUR EAR, SO YOU CAN SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE CRITICISM TOWARDS THE BEST COMMUNITY IN THE WORLD.I feel bad for cumming on my turtle
Why the fuck would I do that. I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn in my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me in the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watch and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with my I wouldn't feel lonely. Well I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, i took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forgot the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forgot what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what i did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish, is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.Please be sure to SPANK that like button SUBSCRIBE to me on YouTube HIT that notification bell FOLLOW me on Twitter LIKE my Facebook page READ MY BLOGS on Tumblr BUY access to my private Instagram FEED my dying NeoPets EMAIL ME your favorite pizza roll flavor DONATE on Twitch DONATE your left kidney VOTE in the upcoming election BECOME A MEMBER of my new MLM company VACCINATE my children and be sure to check out this channel for more content in the future.Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow? Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder Like a continental soldier Do your balls hang low? Does your dick stick out? Can you waggle it about? Can you flap it up and down As you fly around the town? Can you shut it up for sure When you hear an awful bore? Does your dick stick out?Sorry, your post has been removed due to it carrying pro-Trump messages. Reddit does not support such harmful or hateful ideologies.
May we instead recommend some rape porn?
u/strugglefucking u/abuseporn2 incestpornRecently my friend Karen (69F) invited me (420M) and several other people to her baby's gender reveal party. I thought this was a very important occasion. Now, I thought it would be a good idea to create a smoke machine for the party and really dazzle the other guests there. I grabbed a bubble machine that I used for a kid's birthday party a while back and replaced the bubble mixture in it with gasoline, and thought that was that.
Fast forward to the all-important gender reveal party several days later, I bring the makeshift smoke machine with me. I get it set up and when Karen tells me to turn it on, it works for a few seconds before turning into a literal flamethrower and lighting the yard on fire. Everyone screams and runs away. Now, I went and turned it off, then tried dumping a bottle of water on the fire. I managed to partially put it out, but by then it had already creeped over the wooden fence and into the forest behind it. "Oh shit," I thought. We called the fire department but by the time they arrived it had already spread waaaaay too far for them to control, especially in the hot and dry state of California.
TL;DR: Was invited to a gender reveal party, decided to make my own smoke machine to dazzle the guests, smoke machine becomes flamethrower and burns everything, fire couldn't be stopped despite the best efforts of us and the local fire department. you fucker, you goddamn worthless piece of shit, I completely despise you and every atom in your pathetic body. If I knew you were within fifty miles of me I would track you down and curb stomp your skull into concrete until your smooth brain and eyes pop out, you dumbfuck. I wouldn't piss in your mouth if you were dying of thirst, in fact I would hit you in the stomach until you throw up all food you had eaten before that so you die in even more pain, you scumbag, you absolute shitfaced rodent. At least Adolf Hitler had the excuse of being mentally deranged with a horrible past, but you? you've got no fucking excuse for this utter bullshit, you fucking cum stain of a creature, fuck you. You deserve your tiny cock and balls to be publicly guillotined while your fingers are being ripped off by rabid pitbulls, and your eyes are being flooded with ants. You piss drinking cretin, you rock eating dumbass, you scumbag, you chihuahua fucking mongrel, you fuck faced shit eating faggot. You are such a fucking baboon you'd probably believe if someone told you that you could jump off of a 70 story building and be fine if you land head first. I'd call you a clown and tell you to go back to the circus but you're too fat and lazy to work there and too ugly and retarded to be a circus animal. It costed nothing not to commit that act of complete terror yet you did it anyways, you dopebrained shithead. Out of all of the sperm unloaded into your mom's vagina you were the worst possible result there was. It could've been a man that somehow found a way to achieve world peace, it could've been a famous celebrity that inspired millions, it could have been someone who fought for their country and saved their friends in war, but no, it was you instead, a fat fucking virgin who's best accomplishment for humanity is accidentally giving an eight year old at McDonalds ten chicken nuggets instead of nine. Fuck you.I am always so tempted to carefully fish my poop out of the toilet with my hands, lay it gently on the plate, dry it off with some toilet paper and take it into the kitchen.
There, I grab some bread and get the toaster going. Put the bread in, wait for the bread to be ready, then get a butter knife but put it to better use than just butter; cut the poop into neat slices, then put it on the bread, mash it around a little, enjoy the view. It looks like Nutella, but it's way better. Looks better. Smells better. Tastes better.
Then I put my sandwich in the preheated oven for some time. I don't put a timer on, my soul will tell me whenever it's ready. In half an hour, I get out black bread and black poop on it. I take a bite. It tastes amazing.
I sit on the floor in the kitchen, eating my poop sandwich. I love the taste of burn. I love everything about it. I don't need anything else in life. Just burnt poop sandwiches. Looking for a female roomate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money, but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reasons rather not say on here. I will expect hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement, you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they may visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Physical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 Ibs, caucasian or asian only, republican, biologically female, no tattoos, no Muslims, no vegans, no smoking/ vaping, marywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 Ibs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. everyoneI was hacked
My computer has malware
I had a bathroom emergency and forgot to lock my computer
I have amnesia
I wanted to ask if "ok n-----" is offensive
I'll be honest, I got lucky, but the girl typed it
My dog jumped on the keyboard
God did it
Suddenly my computer froze and i had an unsaved excel sheet so I started typing anything and everything to get it to unlock
I was writing a paper and was in the middle of recording a quote when switched to zoom and I forgot to switch back
My question is about the African country
I had a stroke
I was auditing the class to see if the professor answers questions
I'm playing a game next to pewdiepie and I had opened my speech to text on accident and then pressed enter on accident
I was searching for that bridge video of pewdiepie and incidentally typed that into the search
4chan hacked me
NSA hacked meHello, a year ago I contracted a rare disorder called cummeningoracismoengeneralo disease. It is only in males. Every time the n word is said in general, I cum. I thought it wouldn't be that bag, but it is, I just can't stop cumming, you racist fucks. one time I was taking a piss and it happened, a raid began, and I came so hard my bathroom walls were painted fucking white, it looked like someone blew up my dick, it was so painful I pleasantly sobbed to sleep, and it's no better when I'm asleep. Because of all the black gay midget porn posted around the server at night in the NSFW chat yall get crazy with the vocabulary. Every time I wake up I'm covered in crusty cum, and it spills over onto the floor, my house is flooded with cum. I once had to go to a doctor because I had a concussion and they had to kick me out because I was cumming over and over. My neighbors sent a noise complaint and I get bullied at school because of the puddle of cum always in my pants. I remember during the server raid a while back, I came so much I farted out of my dick, I called it a deef. To the mods of the server, please end this cummening and make an announcement or rule ban the n word. I came approximately 24 times while making this.Can you imagine the crazy ass abilities Katara had as a water bender? I'm not talking about fighting, I'm talking about sex.
Think about it, instant enema for her. She would be down for anal almost anytime of the day. Oh man, and the saliva play. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like this, but can you imagine being lathered in her spit? She'll tongue box the inside of your mouth and work her magical sex organ down your chest and on to your dick. The saliva in her mouth would give your a whirlpool like blowjob if she really wanted to. It would be like having a rotating fleshlight with a tongue to make sure your dick is the cleanest it'll ever be.
On top of all that, when the full moon comes out, you best be ready for a mind numbing orgasm as she plays with the blood inside you're erected phallus, and contorts your dick in pleasurable ways that's physically and legally not possible. Katara could cumbend your spunk and give herself a full body bathe in it. The reason Aang looked so young during the avatar state was because he died in his mid-40's, blasting rope one last time in a seizure like orgasm on a full moon.ඞ
submitted by HILARI0USAND0RIGINAL to copypasta [link] [comments]
2020.09.26 19:17 joshuawaggoner90 Hidden pooping girls
[Worstverse] Werewolves Are Assholes, But So Am I
Ok, so I know I left you guys on a cliff hanger last time. And I know it was a bit of a dick move. My bad. Obviously I survived because I'm not writing this as a zombie, or am I?... No. The answer is no. But what had happened was we were on this trip, er well me and Milo I mean, were on a trip to take care of something that happened in the course of this coming post. We kinda had to set it aside for the time being to deal with the bigger issue at hand. But I'll make a separate post about that later or something because holy shit. If what was happening already wasn't enough, we stumbled into an entirely different shit show and you guys have to hear it. And by bigger issue I mean the bloodsucking tweekers trying to go Blade 2 on us, in case you aren't up to speed. I was trying to get this all typed out but in the course of that some fuckery ensued, and I had to close up shop and bail out kinda suddenly.
ANYWAY, in case you guys haven't already figured it out, mixing vampire blood with your own doesn't exactly do the body good. I tried to panic hide it and that worked for all of 5 minutes before my right arm was on fire and the black lines had made it up my entire right side to my shoulder. Needless to say, Lita was... upset... with me afterwards. But at the time once I starting screaming in agony, she made it a point to violate pretty much every traffic law to get me back to Gay Jake's house as fast as possible. Actually I'm almost positive they're passing new local traffic laws right now because of what she did on the road that day. Those poor safety cones...
So by the time we whipped into the driveway things were getting pretty bad on my end. On the way there she managed to explain to me(over the blare of Dex's frantic rambling) that I had mixed blood with Morning Bitch and that I was headed down vampire street pretty fast. And that if we didn't take care of it soon then that would be that. I couldn't get out of her what "Take care of it" meant. Until we made it in the house.
"STOP FUCKING ARGUING WITH ME AND HOLD HER DOWN!" Lita commanded as she burst through the door, dragging my wailing body along as she did.
"Wait. Hold me down why?" I asked through gritting teeth. The rest following her orders, holding me in place as she ran upstairs in a flash. "What's happening? What's she doing?" I continued, trying to jerk myself free.
My question answered itself because in only a moment Lita was already back on her way back down carrying a large machete and a medical kit. "Hold up... You're not about to cut her a-" Joannah started to question, but Lita spoke over her.
"This is the only thing that we can do now and it might not even work at this point. Best I can do is try to take it off as high as I can and still be able to tourniquet it. Now hold her an keep your hands clear." She said, drawing the blade and readying it.
"NO!! HELL NO!! Get away!" I barked as I started kicking and flailing like all hell.
"Please hold still! It has to happen! It's for your own good..." Jasmine pleaded with me through teary eyes.
But nope. I pitched an absolute shit fit. Don't judge me until you've had someone standing over you ready to for real amputate your whole arm. There were six people in that room positively struggling to hold me down because I was having none of it. But despite my savage thrashing suddenly they all managed to find a way to get me still for just long enough to...
Now... there are only a very select few sentences that could be spoken capable of bringing a total halt and absolute quiet to that room at that moment. As it just so happens, "I'm back everyone. Sorry it took so long. Had to poop out my werewolf arm." was one of them, which Milo announced as he exited the bathroom with a pair of headphones on his ears. Silent as the grave gets thrown around a lot, but I'm pretty sure even the birds outside stopped chirping for that one.
"What the... What the hell's going on?" He asked, pulling his headphones off and tossing them aside allowing Sweet But Psycho to permeate through the room.
"Her blood. Vampire. We need to hurry." Lita said trying to take aim once again.
"Oh shit! Well why didn't anyone say anything?! Here, gimme that." Milo said holding out his now completely human arm.
Lita extended the machete's handle for him to take. "Not that you god damn amazon! Her hand, GIVE." He demanded.
Walking over to the crowd of people holding me down, still completely motionless from the lingering disgust but still very much in pain, he reached down and took my wrist in his hand and gave my cut palm a large, wet lick. "There." He said, as I felt a cool relief washed up my arm and across my chest and neck then down the rest of my body. "Where's Teagan? She could have done that a lot sooner without, well whatever all this was." He added.
"She's in the shower." Lesley spoke up. "She let everyone else take a shower first last night so there wasn't any hot water left. So she decided to take one in the morning instead."
Suddenly a faint look of alarm flashed across Milo's face. "Oh, oh no." He said in a quiet tone, a slight quiver to his voice.
"Oh no what?" Gay Jake asked, still breathing hard and patting his chest from all the excitement.
"Just wait, shouldn't be much longer." Milo answered.
A few seconds after that we heard the loud slam of a door from upstairs, closely accompanied by deliberately stomping footsteps. Upon hearing this Milo began trudging toward the stairs, taking the blanket off the back of the couch as he went. He reached the steps with just enough time to unfold the blanket and hold it high up in front of the stairway as Teagan began marching down to the tune of, "WHO HAS FLUSHED THE TOILET?! The water became so hot so fast!"
As she descended Milo wrapped the blanket around what was obviously a dripping wet and stark naked Teagan. She continued her tirade as he struggled to get the blanket securely on her soaked body and calm her down enough to explain the situation. "Did you do it?!" She asked loudly, to which he nodded shamefully a few times. "Why would you do that?! It was so hot I thinking it burned my a-" She stopped suddenly as she noticed the situation in the living room.
"What is going on? Why are you all holding that poor girl down like that?" Teagan asked when she noticed that Lesley, Dex, Trey, Gay Jake, and Joannah all still had me pinned to the ottoman in the center of the room.
"She got attacked by a vampire at the grocery store and some of its blood got mixed with hers. I was about to take her arm off to try and stop it, but that's when M-" Lita attempted to explain, but she never got the chance to finish as Teagan lunged towards me like a bullet, causing the blanket to flop to the floor.
"OH MY DEAR I AM SORRY! Are you ok?! You poor girl!" She exclaimed as she dove onto my still immobilized body, wrapping her arms around me as she did.
Now I'm not one to blush... but right then you could have fried an egg on my face as I felt the water on her soak through my clothes as she constricted be in her comforting hug. As I looked around the room at everyong, my eyes wide with surprise, I could see they were all doing their damnedest to avert their gaze.
Then I heard Jasmine whisper in my ear, "I'm gonna let this one slide since you almost died."
"Thank you." I whispered back.
"You're welcome." She giggled, wrapping her arms around my shoulders as she joined the hug.
I noticed over Teagan's shoulder that Dex was tiptoeing his way in to get his hug on too but Lesley grabbed him by the ear. "Yeah no. Nice try slick." She said, yanking him back to the chair next the fireplace.
After about a minute or so of the soaking wet cuddle puddle Gay Jake spoke up. "Alright that's enough! Too much more of that and you're gonna start getting checks in the mail from Brazzers." He said, throwing the blanket back over Teagan. "Now you take your naked ass back up stairs and dry off. AND get dressed!" He continued as she started towards the stairs.
Soon after Teagan descended the stairs once again, and as soon as she was back Gay Jake caused us all to convulse with fright as his voice shattered the uneasy silence. "SO WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!"
That was when Lita and I explained to everyone everything that went down at the grocery store. All the way up to discovering the injury on my hand which Jasmine and Joannah were now working together to bandage. Then Milo and Teagan explained that their saliva basically has some kind of super antibody they produce in their own bodies. Anything from ebola to the common cold it just wipes out pretty much instantly.
"Yeah, I think it has something to do with our crazy healing." Milo said. "Like when we change it's basically our bones breaking and our muscles tearing and filling in the gaps. It's what makes the whole thing possible really."
Curious, I asked "So... You have a real life healing factor? Like De-"
"YES LIKE THE DEADPOOL CHARACTER!" Teagan interrupted loudly, causing everyone in the room to look in her direction. "Milo said the same thing when I try to explain the healing to him."
"I got all the comics." Milo whispered, leaning down next to my ear.
"How fast do you guys heal?!" Trey asked from his place next to Joannah.
"Watch this!" Milo exclaimed, taking the machete from beside Lita's chair and, before any of us could actually process what he was doing, put his hand on the coffee table and lopped his index finger off. As he did the expression on his face flashed briefly from one of confidence to one of shock, as if he suddenly remembered that hacking of a whole finger actually hurts a whole god damn lot. Gay Jake shrieked as Milo picked the severed digit off the table and tossed it his way as he chuckled, "Here, hold that for me would ya?"
Our alarm didn't even have time to die down before he held up his hand so everyone could watch his new finger sprout from its stump, every now and then giving a soft pop or crack as it did. "Oh god..." Dex said as he began to gag behind me.
"Don't you puke on my couch!" Gay Jake shouted at Dex, but started sympathy gagging along with Dex soon after. "Please... BUAH... stop or I'm gonna... URP!" He said, covering his mouth as he spoke.
About a minute later Milo had all five fingers back exactly as they were. Everyone gathered around to inspect his freshly healed hand, pulling and poking and prodding as they did. It brought me back to that first night went everyone gathered around to marvel at the two towering beasts that they were at the time. At that point it seemed like the near death experience, the blood loss, the struggle to keep my arm, the almost amputation, the regrowing finger, and Dex and Gay Jake's retching all seemed to hit me at once.
"I'm not feeling so hot guys. I'm just gonna run to the can for a minute incase I hurl." I mumbled as I stood and made my way to the bathroom at the far end of the house, away from all the noise and excitement.
"Alright sugar, you take your time." Gay Jake said softly. "We're gonna go get these groceries in before the cold stuff starts to r'rn." He finished.
I wanted to offer to stay and help but I could feel my stomach start do flips and decided it was probably better to get to the bathroom before I dyed Gay Jake's carpet whatever color ended up coming out of me. I only just made it to the toilet before everything that was inside of me, was out. After about 45 minutes or so of enjoying the cool, cold, dark of the bathroom I finally motivated myself to stand up off the floor and rejoin the group.
As I walked down the hallway I began to hear Milo and Gay Jake talking to one another, and then I heard my name come up. Lightening my steps, I stopped just around the corner. Yeah, I know, eavesdropping is wrong. Shame on me. Anyway, I had started to be able to make out what they were saying by then.
"Oh baby, you can't let that get to you. She might have the attitude of a honey badger with a hemorrhoid, but the poor girl's had a hell of a hard time." Gay Jake said to Milo.
I was about to whip around the corner and stop him right there... but that nagging sensation to know what other people say about us when we're not there got the best of me, so I bit my lip and stayed hidden.
"What kind of hard time?" Milo asked.
"Well... Incase you haven't noticed yet, she tends to lean towards people with the same hardware as her in the romance department." Gay Jake began, and after Milo nodded his head he continued, "Things can be pretty rough for people like her and me and little ol' Jasmine anywhere in the world, but especially so down here in the south. And that poor girl got some of the worst of it. When she told her parents what she was all about they sent her straight off to a conversion center, and that ain't no place for anyone, never mind a 15 year old girl."
"That's the place they try to make gay people straight with like Jesus and prayer and shit right?" Milo interjected.
"You got it sugar." Gay Jake answered. "But they can get a lot worse than that. And when the Bible belt couldn't beat it out of her... Well... her parents just tried a regular belt instead, among other household objects."
"I... Jezz..." Milo said under his breath.
"Oh it don't end there." Gay Jake said. "That's just where it started. After a few months of having new welts whipped on top of old ones didn't make their teenage daughter any more interested in good old fashion penis, they threw her out on her ass. And that's about the moment she fell out the frying pan, bounced off the concrete, and landed straight into the fire."
"It gets worse?!" Milo said in disbelief.
"Well there's definitely more after that." Gay Jake continued. "Now if you're a scared and hungry teenage girl on the street with nowhere to go, any port in a storm, like they say. She eventually met a woman in her 20s who offered to take her in after they started getting, well... close. That might sound a bit creepy by itself but it don't end there. After a while that woman started making her "pay her way" while she was staying in her house."
"Pay her way? Why does that not sound like she just did the dishes and took out the trash?" Milo asked nervously.
"Because that ain't what she did honey." Gay Jake answered sadly. "I don't want to go into detail but there's probably a lot of pictures and videos on that dark internet thing that she wouldn't be happy about you seeing." Gay Jake went on as I heard Milo take a slow, deep breath in response. "And that's about the time I found her. Not too awful far from here, trying to trade a stolen EBT card for cash. Lip busted, one eye swollen almost shut. She looked a damn mess."
"What'd you do?" Milo interjected again with a bit more enthusiasm this time.
"I told her that I'd give her a choice. That if she wanted I'd give her whatever she was asking for that card as long as she promised to give it back to the owner instead of me, or she still gives the card back and I take her back home with me where she would be allowed to stay as long as she needed under the condition that she goes back to school and don't steal shit anymore." Gay Jake said.
"And what happened then?" Milo asked, shifting noisily around in his seat.
"She told me to go fuck myself and threw a stick at me."
"I.... don't know what I was expecting to hear." Said Milo. "But that somehow sounds about right. So what did you do after that?" He asked.
"Oh I had that little shit arrested. That stick split my head wide open!" Gay Jake replied. "Buuut, then after she sat in the tank to cool down for a little while I explained what the situation was to my cousin in the PD, then told her I'd get her out but the same conditions still applied. She wasn't happy about it but I did a damn fine job of convincing her that she was about to go to actual prison. I'm very persuasive." He added.
"And she just went along with it, no fuss, no attitude?" Milo asked.
"Oh god no child, that bitch was feral. She must have tore half this house apart before she calmed down, bless her little heart." Gay Jake laughed. "But long story short, this is where she stayed all the way through college."
"Wow... I didn't have a cl-" Milo began to say, but was cut short after the trip down memory lane had finally got me bawling like a kid.
"Oh dear... Get in here you nosey little heathen. Come on." Gay Jake said, inviting me into the room with them. "Now you know better." he scolded.
"I know... I'm-I'm s-sorry." I blathered between sobs.
Then Milo started to stand up and walk towards me. "D-don't you laugh..." I sniffled, trying to calm myself down. And then Milo did the most out of character thing imaginable. He hugged me. "W-hat are you doing?" I said, squirming around in the awkward embrace. "Y-you better not be trying to put a kick me sign on-on my back..."
"I'd never do that! That's so immature, even for me!" He said as I heard the sound of crinkling paper behind me. "I'm just proud of you." He continued, stepping back and holding something in his hand. When I asked him what it was he opened it to reveal my knife, but with half the blade missing. It must have broke when Lita was bashing Morning Skank's brains in. "You stabbed an actual vampire in the fucking face. That's pretty epic." He added.
"Thanks..." I said, wiping the snot and tears from my face on my sleeve.
"Oh honey, tissues, right here, on the table, where they always been." Gay Jake said in mild disgust.
So... the lick, that cured me right? I'm back to normal?" I finally asked, having brought my sniffling down to a reasonable level.
"Well... sorta. It stopped it, but whatever it did do while it was doing what it did is gonna stay did... Done. Stay done." Milo answered.
"So I'm..." I started but he cut me off. "Probably going to have on hell of a handshake from now on." He said, pointing at the wooden arm of the chair next to where I was being held down. It had been squeezed into splinters that jutted out in all directions. I looked down at my right hand and noticed for the first time that my fingernails had all turned that color of off-black you see in like buffalo horn and junk. "Yeah those are probably going to grow to a point from now on so you're gonna want to keep those trimmed, and you'll probably also have a new found appreciation for bleu steak.(FYI, bleu steak is where it's one step less cooked than rare to where it's basically cold and raw in the center and he was right, it is pretty great)
Gay Jake then sent me back up to my old room and told me to get cleaned up, then he'd cook us all dinner and we'd figure out what to do next. As he left he grabbed Milo by the arm and said "Come with me Jack Sparrow, I'm gonna need a strong man to help in the kitchen."
"Why does everyone keep saying that?! I'm supposed to look like gypsy, not a pirate..." He complained as Gay Jake dragged him along.
As I turned around and started to head up the stairs to my old room I noticed the balled up piece of paper and decided to see what kind of stupid shit Milo was about to tape to my back. Once I began to uncrinkle it the words written in black permanent marker lined themselves back up.
"I kick vampire ass!" It said in terrible handwriting. Smiling, I neatly folded it back up and stuffed it into my pocket as I made my way up the stairs.
That evening, as we all sat around the dining room table eating the pot roast that Gay Jake and Milo worked on all day(much to Milo's chagrin), we discussed what we would do next. We didn't have our first breakthrough until someone made an off handed remark about how Joannah's friend was lucky he ended up not coming. The breakthrough was when she responded.
"Haha! Yeah, dodged the bullet on that one. Just by the skin of his teeth too. He waited until I showed him the spot we were going on Google.... Maps... to...." She trailed off, as we all began to stare at her intently. "I mean, no... You guys don't think-"
"How long had you known him before that?" Lesley asked.
"A couple of months. He works in the same store as me at Opry Mills and mentioned he spent a lot of time in... the woods..." She said, trailing off once more as the realization began to set in.
Our backwards ass, yin/yang luck had struck again. We began to formulate our plan. The first thing that came up was how the vampires would be dealt with. Milo and Teagan explained that one on one or even a lot on one, vampires couldn't do a whole hell of a lot to stop a fully Hulked out werewolf. They were basically just massive engines of destruction and carnage with fur. The problem lay in that the bloodsucking bastards could heal faster than they could and could only be killed by a very specific and extremely rare metal.
"You mean silver?" Dex asked upon hearing this.
"Nope." Lita answered, pulling what appeared to be a large Rambo looking knife from under her chair and stabbing it into the table, causing Gay Jake to wince and rub his temple.
"Did you have to stick in the table?" Gay Jake complained.
"Orichalcum." Lita continued. "Everyone from the American United Association of Certified Vampire Control Technicians has some kind of weapon with that metal laminated into it. It's the only thing that hurts them permanently. There's only one place to get it, and only a few people who can work with it." She went on.
As we all examined it we could see the perfectly straight, gold colored lines that crisscross randomly over the steel's surface. Lita then went on to explain that each member of the American United... Each member of the thing has a weapon made especially for them once they join.
"Yeah, so what it looks like what has to happen is, if we can get them all into one place at one time somehow, me and Teagan can maul them to pieces and you guys run behind behind us and put the kibosh on the leftovers. We'll have to keep moving to make sure none get away, so we can't do it all ourselves." Milo explained. "So Lita, how do we get more of those things?"
"We go see the man that made this one." She answered, flicking the handle of the comically large piece of cutlery. "I'm gonna warn you though, he's a real mean one. He's not someone you'd like to bump into on a cold, wet, rainy night, or at any other point in time to be honest. But he's about the best there is at what he does so we're gonna have to deal with it and take one for the cause." She cautioned. "So we need to figure out who's going to go."
"What do you mean who's going to go?" Trey spoke up. "Can't we just call him or email him... or text him even?"
"Nope, you have to request these in person. No corespondents of any kind that leaves a record. You go, you make your request, he makes it while you wait, then you leave." Lita explained.
"What about paying the dude?" Dex asked. "Can't imagine he does the shit for the warm feeling it gives him to help his fellow man."
"The Association and the place they get the metal from takes care of that. No idea what the specifics are though. All I know is the the metal comes from this weird building full of monsters. Calls itself a hotel. Never been. Don't want to go. Can't make me." Lita said. Not after the shit I've heard about that place."
"I'll go..." A voice spoke loudly over the conversation. Looking around to see who the idiot was who just volunteered to visit Freddy Kruger on his home turf, and after a second of following everyone else's wide eyes to the source it hit me. I sat my 4th Captain Morgan and V8 Strawberry/Banana smoothie down on the table and thought to myself, "Fuuuck... That's my voice..."
Unfortunately by the next morning I nor anyone else had managed to talk me out of my decision. Either their arguments weren't strong enough or my stubbornness was too much, but regardless I had made up my mind to stick to it. Most of this was my fault after all, so it was the least I could do. The plan was that Milo would stay and buddy up to Joannah's coworker to try to get a lead on where those throat sucking crank ticks were camped out. And while he was bromancing that guy Teagan and I would go see the cantankerous weapon maker.
It was brought up that it might be better for Teagan to stay and flirt the information out of our mark(ironically enough that's also the dude's name), but Milo seemed a little less than enthused about Teagan pressing herself seductively up against another man. So we didn't press the issue. Apparently he though it wiser to send her off on a who knows how long road trip with the chick that's been drooling over her the past few days. Not that I had plans to actually try anything, just an observation. Words I would have to repeat to myslef over and over as Teagan came down the stairs to join us in the living room that morning.
Curves in all the right places don't begin to cover it. The clothes that once fit with just a little room to spare were now straining to hold themselves together. In her words, "I ate much to change a little incase we find trouble." Apparently unlike going straight to the gut like Milo, when she packs it in to turn, it goes, well... exactly where you'd want it to. How can I put this... To any of the other degenerates like myself in attendance, you know Sunny Leone? That. And to all those who don't, you clearly aren't living your best life.
Shaking myself out of my stupor as Jasmine coughed into her hand from across the room, I asked Lita where this guy was supposed to be. "Bessemer." She answered, walking into the kitchen as she spoke.
"And where the hell is that exactly?" I asked again. Sweet Home Alabama started blaring from someone's phone speaker behind me. I turned to see Milo holding his up, an accomplished smirk plastered across his face.
"Cute, real cute." I said as I looked closer at his screen, noticing a map with a red pin towards the middle of the state along with some text underneath that read "Bessemer Alabama. Founded 1887. Named for Englishman Henry Bessemer, inventor of the Bessemer process, which revolutionized steel production."
"Huh, seems oddly appropriate." I said, reading the screen. "So how we gonna get there? They'll probably be looking for our cars and have their eyes on bus stations and junk."
"You mean the vampires?" Dex asked.
"No, I mean the Harlem Globe Trotters. YES I MEAN THE FUCKING VAMPIRES!" I barked back.
Then we started to figure out the next step, getting there without using a vehicle with our license plates or a compromised form of public transportation. "What about something like Uber?" Gay Jake suggested, peeking his head out from around the entrance to the kitchen.
"I mean that might work. But wouldn't that be a really expensive tip, especially both ways?" I asked. As soon as I did, Lita came from around the corner and took the phone from Milo's hand, messed with the screen for a second, then gave it back and walked back into the kitchen without a word.
"Honey look around you. We done been over this. I can cover it. About the only thing I can't swing is a private jet. Besides, that just sounds like a setup for a Vampires vs Werewolves on a Plane movie and that just sounds like a horrible plot. Not even Samuel L. Jackson could save that one." He chuckled.
"What's Cerber?" I heard Milo say next to me as he scrolled through his phone.
submitted by joshuawaggoner90 to NaturesTemper [link] [comments]
2020.09.23 01:10 Apfeldisiakum How to counter each killer from my personal expierence (2k hours in the game till now)
I do this because im bored and thourght would be nice to have a chat in the comments what are you agree on and what sounds wrong for you or maybe bettedifferent ways
1) Trapper Well i personaly struggle often with Trappers because i have a Talent to step into traps Best tipps for chases is to run into Areas you know killer wasnt there at begin of the game this works best with beeing careful for the terror Radius and so spoting out these areas for late game check out shack to disarm traps when your not in a chase to Make it free for chases also look for traps early before you run a loop More you cant rly do
2)wraith I See a lot of surv who run straight away from a wraith when he cloaks out i think this is a big mistake when your near a loop my tactic is to brake line of sight when wraith uncloaks and Start a 50/50 working mindgame so that the killer have to predict if he runs the other side to surprise me or if he follows my way next by wraith is when he follows your cloaked you run thats for sure but you should stop at loops so he have to uncloak and than fake a pallet throw run him till he decides to risk the pallet also it often happens that wraiths uncloak fully when your at pallet so you can just run and leave the loop to somone else or yourself later
3)hillbilly I love to play against hillbillys maybe because i mained him long time and hes still one of my favourites you have to watch out for dead zones also 360s work well often but just do this in no other way stiuations because a good Billy just steps back and chainsaws you anyway vor predict your direction with same reslut at pallets just See if he loads his chainsaw than run without throwing the pallet but be careful Billys often fake chainsaw for a m1 so watch exacly how long he loads it and dont run away From the pallet by the first chainsaw noise
4) nurse Breake the line of sight and do fakes like Window jumps or fake the Direktion your running but i have to say good nurses will catch you ;)
5)huntress A Good huntress is some pain in the ass You can swing right left when shes behind you and is loading her axes by lower expierences huntress it helps to run rlly near her and try to confuse her Also by pallets same game like Billy just throw it when your sure She tryes to m1 you
6) Myers Its important to hold him in Phase 1 as long as possible so when he stalks your break line of sight and try to keep him on distance because hes slow as fuck In Phase 2-3 just run him like a normal m1 killer but be careful in phase three he gets a longer hit range (or not? tell me if im right or wrong) 7) hags Good hags stay in one area which is trapped for the most of the time so Make sure to destroy activate them in times when killer hunts somone else vor is busy elsewhere and do the gens right! most times you lose vs a hag its because you got three gens left which are are near to each other
8) doc predict his aoe shock by the noise it makes and run away or jump in a locker ( i have most success last time by running out of his range with some knowledge you can esay predict it) In chases its difficult good docs Make loops useless some times you can move out his shocks how by the huntress what also often works is spamming space to throw the pallet even when you screaming because of the shock
9)Bubba Bubba in loops is the same like bubba but watch out he can way länger chainsaw now thanks to the rework i think its a learn curve im not that good myself since the update and Got more downed by bubbas then before but i think more doesnt get in my mind without dont save by a camping bubba and dont believe that just one gets killed then by a perfect played game vs a full camping bubba its 2 who die in the most games
10)Freddy In my opinion he has to auch abilitys and the strongest and not negativ effected addons for his power in the game too When he plays the dubble slowdown Combo go to the clock also when you save someone Form hook or get saved wake your teammate up before your heal Had a lot of games where that not happend this is why im writing this in loops you have to pay attention by the .. Lets call him blood Freddy See how good he places his bloodtraps before you run it another time when he does it Bad loop the shit out of him when he knows what hes doing run every loop just once and decide when its time to go down just dont waste any pallets against a good Freddy you win as Team by letting every member anoth pallets to not go insta down so be rdy to get hooked atleast once to buy your team time Against the pallet Freddy pay attention where he sets fake pallets and if you not sure try to loop him at t-walls remember he cant slow you down anymore His other ability is also very strong most freddys play with BBQ and Chili so hude behind the gen or go into a locker so he cant snowball this fast
11)Pig listen to the roar and predict her charching line by pallets watch out for mindgames you realise that most times in the first chase when she makes a lot of mindgames be patients and dont jump over the pallet when you hearing a raooowr Without that do gens even when a teammate have a trap on his head but when more then one teammate haves a trap try to go into a chase because your teammates needs time now because smart and evil pigs hunt even trapped surv sometimes and i know most times its stupid to go after trapped surv but they often dont expect it and are esay to down to the end of pig: poop the snoot boys and girls ;)
13)clown by the Clown you have to run and dont stay on loops dont use Them More than twice when you know he have bottles when you See hes reloading wait 1-2 seconds and then run to the next loop when the pallet is still standing the 1-2 seconds are for the case he quits the reloading but after 1-2 seconds most Clowns commit to the reloading its important to spaere AS auch pallets that you can without getting downed to often i know always sounds esay in the theory ;)
12)spirit My most hated killer I think all you can do is predict her mindgame and dont panic but not works well for me most of the time x) iron will is a perk what helps but most spirits makes it useless with stiritor when you guys have some good adwise im all ear ghostface style ;)
13)Legion When you the first one in a legion chase to beginn of the game you should try to brake him out oft frenzy to keep your mates positions hidden when not dont waste pallets in his Phase you need Thema later without that dont go in lockers when frenzy is active and a teammate got a hit also run a bit before you clean deep wounds some players clean right infront of im that an invite for a chase so your choice ;) and i cant believe im writing this but dont use selfcare even when youre a fan of it ô.o its just time your Team lose specaly by Legion
15)plague Oh i love to go against plague the trick is to loop her and watch her when she loads up her vomit hide behind objects she gets slower when she loads it and most plagues will commit to vomit because hitting makes no sense when she infected you xD Also Cleanse yourself away Form her but CLEANSE yourself i know much guides say the upsite but my win/lose statistic showed me that games where my Team cleansed theyself won More then not and when you think about it the damage vomit still needs to hit you two times and when your hole Team is fully infected you have a perma phase3 Myers to go against and also infected player cant Hide in lockers and show the killer when they worked on gens and you get expierence to Dodge red vomit which is totaly fun when you mastered it believe me ;)
16)ghostface when you See him stalking your teammates try to break him out but dont go to near often ghostfaces have no Problem to let your mates go when they realise what your up to and hit you now you have taken your Team in a worse Situation because one or more teammates are stalked to 50-80% and youre are hurt and get chased now esay one hit targets for a ghostface also pay attention to your sound your hear his clothes sometimes when hes stealth so dont get grapped and gens so watch out when you doing the gens and spare out the invoirement And alyways t-bag back when ghostface teebags you Show your dancemoves!!
17)Demiogoron his shred works like a faster reloaded chainsaw which m1s you so play him at pallets like a Billy on deadzones and free areas try to 360 him when he trys to shred you when not just run to a building or a loop after the hit Do the gens carefully a 3 gend game vs a demo can be a pain in the ass because of his Portals
18)Oni without his phase: when More than one surv his hit go for a gen far as possible from oni when you dont know where youre mates are, when not heal so he cant Scout you using the orbs also spear pallets when you can you need Them More for his times in his phase In his Phase: hide and when your get chased prefere windows but use pallets when you have to
19)Deathslinger In chases try to run away from him without stopping look back often while doing that to See when he is aiming if he does swing left right while you keep running hes slower when he aims evem for quick shots so you dont lose that much distance When youre at loops run them tight while you watch him so you can predict his shots when hes reloading same thing like clown
20)Pyramide head The pallet gameplay here is simiular to Clown and deathslinger to avoid getting hit by punishment swing left right even at pallets underbreaking the line of sight helps also
21)Blight the only counterplay i Got so far is to pay attention to the number he Hits objects already and when he is rdy to hit going near objects so that there is a possibility that he misses also pretty high Chance for BBQ and Chili so Hide in lockers when he hooks someone he has a high map control and without that you will not gain fast gen repairment
This was what came in my mind to every killer i could have write More and go deeper in some mechanics also every killer plays different and isnt always that predictable so dont take it to serious :) hope i could help someone When you readed it till here i say thanks and have some nice rounds :-)'
submitted by Apfeldisiakum to deadbydaylight [link] [comments]
2020.09.18 17:21 IdolA18Sep1l Hidden pooping girls
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2020.09.13 20:06 david_25_r Foster Cat on Intermittent Cage Rest - Uses Litter Tray When in Cage, Doesn’t When Outside
EDIT: I said cat but she is a 9 week old kitten :)
So this is kind of a complicated one.
My GF and I recently fostered a cat who we are absolutely falling in love with - the only thing is that she has an injured leg and we are to keep her in a cage most of the time with maybe an hour or two a day to roam around, which is going fine.
The issue with this of course is that her litter tray, food, water and bed are all in the same place which can’t be pleasant at all for the poor girl.
She is using the litter tray perfectly fine when she is in the cage but whenever we let her out to roam around, when she needs the bathroom she will find an isolated spot in our apartment (she has two preferred spots - both in remote corners of the place hidden behind the blinds near the windows), meow very loudly for a minute and then either pee or poop in this spot.
Fortunately we’ve been catching her before she can actually do her business as she will meow first, (it’s strange - the meowing feels like she’s warning us!) and then we pick her up, put her in the litter tray and she does her business fine. It’s just been the one or two times we’ve missed this and we’ve had found an unfortunate surprise in the corner.
Have you guys ever seen anything like this before? We are thinking it may be that she doesn’t like the location of the litter tray (I don’t blame her) and maybe her meowing is her way of saying she is sorry haha but she feels like she has no choice.
It’s tough because I want to try moving the litter tray, but feel like we’re stuck until the vet gives us the all clear to let her stay outside of her cage :(
submitted by david_25_r to CatAdvice [link] [comments]