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2020.07.22 08:25 Baby22JulIntca Twinks chaturbate

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2020.05.19 15:18 bicurious-throwaw4y Chaturbate twinks

So I’m a 22 year old guy and I’ve been confused about my sexuality for as long as I can remember now.
I’ve always found girls very attractive but my mild social anxiety has meant that I’ve had difficulties gaining as much experience with girls. That being said I’ve had sexual experiences with between 15 and 20 girls, and probably more than 40 guys. (I know I’m gross let’s move on from that)
From these experiences, I have only enjoyed sex with a man once, which was while heavily intoxicated. I have generally enjoyed sex with girls more, although to varying degrees but only really been especially keen on it when in a relationship and comfortable with the girl.
I am very horny a lot of the time, I think at least partially as a result of my ADHD that makes me seek dopamine fulfilling activities, and I think I am pretty addicted to porn/masturbation. I never or very rarely am able to get anything out of actual gay porn with two men (except for in the event of really cute twinks), but often watch female POV blowjobs or sissy porn and lust over actual cock.
What gets me off more than anything is going on Grindr and sharing sexual pictures of myself to men that say that I’m hot, and fantasising about bottoming for them/sucking their dicks. I’ve been addicted to the attention for a long while on this and also on things like chaturbate/omegle/fetlife. This is quite self-destructive as these images are easily identifiable to be me and could significantly impact my career. For further clarity, I am not out as anything but heterosexual and am unsure how my friends and family would take the situation.
I usually just orgasm and then block people and feel gross/shameful about it but when I choose not to orgasm and go and meet them I invariably have a weird/awkward experience that I dislike. I generally dislike the actual feeling of men’s lips and tongues when kissing them and then actually just get bored and want to leave while sucking their dicks.
Despite this, after the initial weird feeling like “why did I put myself through that” has passed, I still eventually always end up back on Grindr sending slutty pictures to men and fantasising about being topped. Hence the process repeats.
I am not LGBT-phobic in any way, but this is quite distressing for me as I just want to know what I actually am. Not sure who I can really speak to about this and would love some advice.
Am I bi or just addicted to porn/attention that is harder to get from girls?
Let me know if any more info would be useful, at a bit of a loss here haha.
TL;DR: • 22 year old guy • Get off a lot to the idea of sucking cock/bottoming • Never actually enjoy it in the act • Help • Please!
submitted by bicurious-throwaw4y to bisexual [link] [comments]

2020.01.07 00:51 wankthrowaway6969 Chaturbate twinks

I realized months ago I needed to control myself. I live with my parents, who sadly live in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest. Growing up with no other guys around me to experiment me, I grew obsessed with porn. It was the only thing that was good in life. I'd masturbate to Pornhub between moments of gaming, staying up all night and skipping school the next day. I missed over 40 days in one trimester. I was ugly and hated in real life, kids would call me gay and break my things. Online RPGs let me pretend I was a hero, and porn let me fantasize and lust over the sexiest men possible. I remember switching between tabs of Runescape and GayTube. I'd be gaining ATTK XP while I jerked off to some twink getting his guts rearranged.
In community college, I didn't play games as much, but my porn usage continued. I loved watching men on Chaturbate perform, I loved scrolling through Tumblr for hours on end. I had a limit; if it was 1AM, I'd only allow myself 30 more minutes of masturbating. But most of the time, I loved the sensation too much, and drawn in by the allure of more videos, I usually kept going on until 2:30AM. Sometimes I grew soft and couldn't get hard again despite finally finding a video I'd like to cum to. Some nights I accepted defeat and just went to sleep. Many nights I kept trying to get hard again, though. I'd usually only get 4-5 hours of sleep.
It wasn't until I transferred to the college I'm at now that I actually kissed another guy. I had lost weight after graduating HS, and I felt new. He was cute and cuddly, and I wanted to hold him forever. We were supposed to be watching Harry Potter in his dorm room, but soon enough we found each other looking at one another. With my heart racing, we kissed. We giggled. And we kissed again and again and again and again. I left that night with my heart singing.
The night I sucked my first dick was horrendous. Like the night we kissed, we were just supposed to be watching a movie. But long story short, things got heated. As I blew him, he pulled down my pants, and we embraced each other. I wanted nothing more than to fuck this man. But to my despair, I was soft. I wasn't nervous by any means. Yet there I was, flaccid. Noticing my condition, he flinched. I remember him saying that he was ugly. We stopped.
My heart broke. He was my everything, and my dick convinced him he was ugly. He was self conscious of the weight he had put on in college, but I thought he was beautiful. I sent him roses, he thanked me, but by the next week we stopped talking altogether. I miss him.
It was during this time I realized I no longer got morning wood. Fearing the worst, I went to my room and tried to get hard. I couldn't. So I pulled out my phone to find porn. I was finally able to get hard then. I blamed my stress from school for my inability to get an erection.
Months pass, and nothing changed. I'd watch porn every night until the early morning and masturbate. I used Grindr to find hook ups, but I usually just ended up blowing them. Guys would ask to suck my dick in return, but Id politely decline, much to my frustration. Once while I was at the movies with a date, he tried to reach down my pants while we sat in the back. He wanted to suck my dick then and there. I would've love nothing more, but I pulled him away. I knew I couldn't get hard.
I eventually tried bottoming. I moaned immensely as I was rimmed for the first time. I was at a sex party and the host, a daddy, ate my ass like it was birthday cake. This guy next to me that was getting fucked laughed, "Yet another bottom is born." But when he stuck his dick in me, I felt no pleasure. Since that day, I've been fucked by around ten guys. I wish I could say I enjoyed it. I tried to convince myself I'd eventually like it and one day hooked up with a guy at a nearby college. He fucked me all night, unfortunately. I remember the gut wrenching pain I was in, despite being well lubed. I bit down on my pillow and let him use me. The next day I was in misery. I never had my gut felt that way before. I hated being gay. I hated being me.
Eventually, I became interested in NoFap. I didn't like the religious aspect of it, and I didn't like the way people demonized sex workers, but I tried it on my own account. After weeks of not masturbating to porn, I was finally able to get morning wood again. You won't believe how happy I was. I kept going, trying my best to not masturbate. Grindr made this difficult- I loved sexting with guys, and it made not jerking off hard if guys were sending me pics of their butts. Long story short, while on vacation I met a guy at a bar, and I finally fucked a man for the first time. Looking down and seeing my dick inside another man's ass was unbelievable to me. I didn't last long. After he finished in me, we cuddled and talked the whole night. I flew home a couple hours later.
I hooked up with some other guys. It was surreal to finally get hard around another guy. But like the fool I am, I went back to porn. I thought I was cured. The very next day my morning wood stopped again.
It's now been months since I've been another guy. Last week was the last time I masturbated to porn. Sexy guys get posted on every gay subreddit, and guys on Twitter love to show off everything they're packing. It's addicting.
I'm currently home for winter break, and I've never felt more alone. My parents live in the middle of nowhere; the closet town is a retirement community. I get the urge to watch porn so badly. I try to occupy my time, but it always lingers in the back of my mind constantly. I've deleted Twitter, and I haven't used Grindr in a week. I thought I could handle Grindr, but I couldn't. Getting sent pictures of a sex party made me relapse.
My goal is to not masturbate to porn for three months. I feel so hollow and angry at myself. I need to control myself. There's a party in April at a gay bar two hours away. That's my short term goal. I want to actually meet someone without the fear of erectile dysfunction in the back of my mind. I'm 24. I shouldn't be dealing with this, yet I am. I want to go to that party and have fun. Three months shouldn't be hard, right?
I'm struggling. Last week I relapsed everyday. But I'm holding up now, and it's been almost a week. This is my New Years Resolution, and I want to make it work. I honestly just wrote this out for myself, but I also wanted to share my story too. I can't be the only one going through this, right?
Porn isn't the Devil. Sex workers are honest workers. I love porn. But my habits aren't healthy. As much as I love porn, I love people more. The feeling of being with people can't replace the feeling of my hand. I wish I could turn back time and have sex with the guy I kissed for the first time. I wish I could say we became a couple. But I can't. I can only go forward.
Thank you if you read this. What advice do you have for me?
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2017.12.17 00:41 247awake Even PoC sex workers get disadvantaged (quick rant)

Chaturbate has been my go-to place for porn lately. It's pretty cool to interact and chat with other guys. But there's one thing I've noticed and that it's almost always white guys who pull in hundreds of viewers and get the most tips. Especially new, freshly turned 18 year old white twinks. You'd be surprised at how many people flock into their rooms when there's a "New" badge on their picture and their DoB says 1999. And just today, I saw a user tell a white model that they bought them hundreds of dollars worth of stuff from their wishlist.
Meanwhile, I've observed that people of color don't usually get much attention. Nor do they get showered with as many tips and gifts. I once watched a good looking asian guy--on par with their white counterparts--and they got up to 22 viewers and took almost 80 mins just to earn $6 in tokens. And yes, there are successful PoC on Chaturbate but again, the number is dwarfed by those who are caucasian.
This makes me sad, because even some people are at a disadvantage when sex work could bring in some income. Just because they aren't the poster white twink, muscle hunk, or daddy type. And it's just not fair. But if we can't even fix this problem in cyberspace, how can we do it in real life (in the gay community in general)?
submitted by 247awake to lgbt [link] [comments]

2016.12.30 04:34 hrios5 Camming on chaturbate and security clearances?

I cam for fun right now. I'm a gay guy, young "twink" college student. Go on chatrandom and find someone, I like getting people off and being commanded around.
I've talked to some guys who think I should start camming for money like on Chaturbate. He thinks I'd make a lot of money doing it. I could use the money for college so why not. It's something I've thought of doing though one thing kind of worries me.
I'm studying Computer Science and Geography, with intentions of probably working for the government or some security contractor. I'm worried this may be something to come up in a background check when getting a security clearence. I could find an internship for the summer that requires one, or it could be for a job after graduation, or it could be I never need one.
Would camming/getting money from chaturbate effect my security clearence chances in the future?
submitted by hrios5 to askgaybros [link] [comments]

2016.12.30 04:22 hrios5 Background checks for security clearances and camming?

I cam for fun right now. I'm a gay guy, young "twink" college student. Go on chatrandom and find someone, I like getting people off and being commanded around.
I've talked to some guys who think I should start camming for money like on Chaturbate. He thinks I'd make a lot of money doing it. I could use the money for college so why not. It's something I've thought of doing though one thing kind of worries me.
I'm studying Computer Science and Geography, with intentions of probably working for the government or some security contractor. I'm worried this may be something to come up in a background check when getting a security clearence. I could find an internship for the summer that requires one, or it could be for a job after graduation, or it could be I never need one.
Would camming/getting money from chaturbate effect my security clearence chances?
submitted by hrios5 to SexWorkers [link] [comments]

2014.07.01 21:25 KillerIsJed Chaturbate twinks

I'm looking to find someone interesting in playing video games with me and or making YouTube videos / Twitch streams. I've also tossed around the idea of having sex while gaming and streaming it all to Chaturbate for others to watch and comment on.
I'm bi, poly, open minded, have a gay / fem / twink bf, and I'm disease, drug, smoke free. Very sane, very intelligent.
Feel free to check out a stream we did recently!
Looking for a girl or a guy who is geeky and interesting in the above, feel free to AMA.
submitted by KillerIsJed to r4r [link] [comments]