Naked sugar moms

2020.11.28 06:47 ChinampasDotCom Naked sugar moms

Chocolate in the Meat Drawer
Thunder Egg
Mason Jar Champagne
Duncan and the Deadlols
Smog Bodies
Milk of Magnesia
Psychotic Fightsy Child
Posted on Postponements
KKK.gov
Propyl Group
Pink Plastic Brick of Stress
The OG Emojis
St. Ronan
Communist Gun Club
Half-Completed Dick
Sparkly Pink Condition
BS about HS
Sandskaters
The Really Crusty Baguettes
Well-Mannered Frivolity
Forbidden Boy Sauce
Stuffed Armadillo Material
Undomesticated Juveniles
Jaundiced Cupid
A Bus Up to No Good
Botanical Buddhists
Stylistic Scuffing
1900 Autonomous Boats
Hitler’s Christmas Cards
Glacier Cherry
Sassy Stick-Throw
Vigilante Snowplow Group
The Whale Wall Whales
Neon Beige (a real band)
Crunchiest Elbow
Milkweed Editions
Geen Doorgang
Bulky Luggage Claim
Blackout Blazer
Positive Yet Potentially Self-Destructive
Spicy Cream
Bold and Saucy Wrongs (a real band)
Stressfully Thick
Death Methods
Quarter Life Crisis
Greg’s Amazing Labelmaker!
Planned Parenthood Pencil
Antwon’s Subtle Flex
The Temporary Tattoos
QuickLumberMoney
Frosty E-Wall
BrailleBoob
Kombucha Opportunities
Deaf Pedestrians (a real band)
Left and Sharply Right
Peach Razbatazz
Call me Coco
Ronda’s Alternative Hypothesis
Venetian Glass Guys
Butterfuckers
FaceKeyWhip
Floating Flamingo, Chlorinated
Bifurcated Sugar Lump
Crystal Hedgehog
Grow Owl
Bass Fiddle
The Rose Gold Universe
Parabellum Cerebellum
The Pears of Capitalism
The Dreamkillers
Me and my Misaligned Spine
The Bleeding Oreos
Hacky Saxophone
Chewy Dipps
Gravy Donuts
Singing Little Lizards
Smokehouse Cheeto
Zygotes Over Easy
Off Her Knee into Me
Glittering Generalities
Crispy Nutty Soul
Arich “Ball Smasher” Fruehling
Sex Wax
Army of Skanks
The Loose Zipper
Margarita Mindset
Silver Status
Boba Tapioca
Where the Pavement’s Slick
Three Piece Combo
Corybins
Belled Bexley
Quattuordecillion
The Gas Station Flowers
Beanpole
Untangle the Windsock
The Fully Folded Fools
Atticus Pringletoe
Ketamine Carlos
Olives to Go!
The Bone Fairy
Vans Deferens
Pocket Hose
Little Ms. Jesus Christ
Rusty Dime
De-Stress Pretzel
Triumvirate of Grooviness
The Possum Infiltration
CandY-Care Department
A Hamster or No?
Blazers Down Low
Slow Flow Level One Silicone Nipple
Skin Tone Pants
Flickboxers
Lily Cache Lane
Rusty Rocketship
Greasy Evening
Meat Gushers
Starhawk Unity
Bottles of Backbones
Fishy Burps
Glass Fleshlight
Bill’s Box of Bits
Snooker Supremo
Sober Fly Force
High Fireglaze
Jumbo Jollifications
Jewish Penicillin Hotline
The Vaginal Puppeteers
Venti BlackTea
Four Oreos from Heaven
Salvation and Satisfaction
Popcorn and the Tigerducks
Beef CD and the CDC
Chance Magnanimous
Vein Gravy
Cotton Candy Cloud Person
Here Kitty Kitty
Forgotten Umbrella
Onion Tea
Baked Rockfish Gillets
Devan Butter
Ham Candle
Pillowy Abyss
SpaghettiCore
Space Husbands Forever
The Hawking Horse
Rocky Iceball
To Seem and to Shine
Fuckable Mud Puddle
Big Alien Boner
Hot Dog Dynamite
Heelcheese Ringo
Wilted Arugula
Intensiv Schmusen
Art Senator
The Suckle Harem
VodkaSoks
Line Drive Vasectomy
American Plaster Cats
McLoon’s Teethpost
Bang’s Anatomy
Fleecy Huggs
Butch Deity
The Sexual Lexicon
The Essential Pederast
Buckshot Yankee
Doctor Neil Cream
Flat Jupiter Society
Canoodling Candidates
Crazy J and the Douche Canoes
Wiener Winks
Panini Bitch
Pollen Nation
Bosko Stikcs
Knuckle Cancer
The Sperm Ballooning Society
Derrick McGee and the Four Burner Facebooks
Envy Rots the Bones
Ben's Big Bennington Badger Band
Phil and the Magical Chocolates
Kelly Kitchens
Mastopexy
Fettuccine Weesie
Cavalcade of Grunting
Down Syndrome Dogs
Stoners in Gestation
Fleecy Mitts
Ella Barnes' Basement
Brian Broadsword
Frijr8r
Bean Lantern's Light
Brown Catholic Knights
Cyclone of Garbage
Halal Hentai and the Hendersons
Squeaky D and the West Coast Ghosts
On-Time Airline
Various Artists
Enceladus Prime
Yellow Light is Flashing!
Don Bosco
Joycie Terrific from the Hinterlands
(Sink into) Our Slab of Rest
Jung-L Jymmz
Lethal Leafy Hungry Flowers
Prelaw Irish Pop Band
Silly Murdercoat
Die Vokabelfeuerwerken
Pepperoni and Beans
The Plainshirt Gang
Daisy Chain Gravy Train
Lethr Egz
Amelia Begonia
Candy Corn on the Cob
Corn Bone
The Poltergeist of Stamps
Señor Spank and the Groovy Crew
Tater Tot Hot Dish
Swamp Ice
Swarthout and the Cheesefoods
Outhouse Moon
Billionaire Bolthole Club
Neutral Titties
Churro Genocide
Alcoholic Jesus Juice
Vegan Cannibal
Twizzler Tubbs
The Ann Arbor Vampire Rave
My Crusty Hummus
Cunning Stunts and Pratfalls
Salami Poptart
A Cooler Full of Platypus Cheese
Confessional Gloryhole
Predators Hunting Puppets
Smokey Junglefrogg
Skateboard Horse
Ultimate Pleasure Oil
Creative Nonfiction
Scrimshaw Trinket
The Acoustic Cigarettes
Hide Your Snickels
Chinampas.com
The Pounding Fathers
The High-School-Hangout-Pussy-Destroyers
Sourdough Nibblers
Loose Q. Tipps
Reclaimed Bowling Alley Lane
Porn on the Cob
Refurbished Tents
Second Aid Kit
RockInMaShoo
Balthazar Thurgood
Pasteurized Motorcycle Club
Dwellingcheese
Sheepaline
Jiggery Pokery
Ekko Sneez
Gatorade Cumshot
Sleazy Tortilla and the GDP
Mr. and Mrs. McCandles
Firefighter Brutality
Electronic Sit Music
Competitive Sleep League
Lucky Lock Lube Lucy
Waxed Apple
Welsh Lady Ass Fudge
Gran Hoodle's Ham Noodles
Kellogg Jane
Wally World's Chapstick Emporium
Stovepipe Junction
Potatoaid
Sticky Nickels
Hobby Lobby's Museum of the Bible
Pranky Goofs
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Divorce Warlock
The Capital Parentheses
Vowel Polyps
Zigguraut Daydream
An Eventful Stroll Through the Ghetto
Sand Hanitizer
Boxweiser
Meat Boat
Grandpa Was a Pimp
eieiNO
Your Crowave Oven
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Misconsin, Wichigan
The Bountiful Zinc Deposits of Zambia
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Touch, Don't Look
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Logopolis
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Lego Lore Authority
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Telepathic Wiener Missiles
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Leon Askew
Reggie's Churro Parade
Dizzy Chicken
Boof Woods
Gbusto
Solidaritea
The Menstrual Lounge
Calligraphy Camp
Stripper Fiddler on the Roof
Gravity's Rainbow
Crispin Horsefry
The Clumsy Gay Flatulant
The Impudence of ur Deeds
Handout Heartattacks
At the Divot
It Lacked Elegance
Greasy Weasels
Friday Foliage Fish-Fry
Avocadomachiatto
The No Buddies
I Like Your Shirt
Ruby Tattoosdays
Smugly Superior
My Troglodyte Ilk
In the Year of Our Lady
Braillefitti
Gynecomastia
The Sacramento Sunshine Society
That Old Chestnut
Allot Groc
Sandbox Love
Antidepressants, Antipsychotics, and Antisemitics
The Mierdas Touch
Prone Bone Malone
Wolfmina Jacquelina
Stag n' Ant
Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
Spider Everett
Erstwhile Antagonist
Isoceles
Carmine the Bowler
Cornish Game Hens
E. Rail Elephant
The Inconspicuous Cubes
Take Two Valerian Root
Hot Dog Homicide
Norseplay
I Have No Son
A Robust Woman
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Conflict Avocados
Hemline Ratbag
So They Told Her
My Little Amish
Hypoactive
Der Fledermensch
Retro Reavers
Little Tuberkies
Land Salmon
Dr. Lucius Seuss
Uncle Sticky’s Discount Ham Wagon
Father Gascoigne and the Cleric Beast
Gophertown, USA
Encyclopedia Brick
Cathodius Rey
Ponytail Rick
The Pittsburgh Smithing Society
Louisa and Ramone
Electric William
A Meaty Priest
Deviant Ingrediant
Honey Bunches of Smokes
Standrew’s
Elder Butt-Bandit
Serotonin Messiah
The Commemorative Bench Registry
Clutch the Cheese
Tell That to Shaun
Silver? Silver.
Whirligig Bitch
And the Weasels, Too!
The Ear Trumpets
Homies: Where the Heart Is
Kudos From Your Sister
Keith de Cervantes
Quit Yer Havering
Crim N. L. Scum and the Troubled Youths
Go Out and Steal
Gran Piano
The Klosslands
Jank E. Cheese's
Pennsylvania Sedge
Vantawhite
Albert Epstein
Drag Queen Ethnostate
Potions and Notions
Roy the Save Fairy
Fires, Friends, and Grains
Weed Femur
Not a Toaster
Joni Has Gooberries
Lamb Lung
Mandatory Camping
Geestopher
August 36
LonelyFans
Nectar of the Gods
Spoonplanet.com
Olathe North Junior Hawks
Trevor and the Pencilnecks
The Almond People
Naked as a Jaybird
Pusillanimosity
Papa Schliss and the Regent Degenerates
Psi Phi Dental Fraternity
Invention Highway
Drippy Vigil
Rosemary Encampment
A Manner Parodical
Whyncha
Beware of Damp People
Areola Quadrant
Dismounting Chairless
Come Here Slimy Coochie
Herman Majesty
Fort Hose
Luther Porches
Guff Ibuprofen
Bojanski Pohutski
Foxy and Robbins
Atheist Cake
The Pubic Cornrows
We Make Puns
Old-Stone Savage Armed
Hitachi Elder Wand
Pinecones of All Ages
Girls' Night Bar Fight
Ragdoll Slim
Optimal Titty Balance
Freshly 23
Fluoregg
Jane's Phone
Fabbio Doplicher
Dancefloor Igor
The Meevies
Artificial Wonderlands
The Bean People
Gargayle
Generic Apocalypse
Delves of Dodgington
Adolescent Rat
The Mugicians
Unisexy
Our Business Daddy
Overnight Oats
Cats Who Yells
Steel Wool Experiences
Communal Puffin Meat
Hot Wench Gelato
Sarah Has a Single
Snowchores
Gufftots
Shotguns Hats and Money
Script Kiddies
All Crops are Bastions
Kim of All People
Like a Chimney
Lizzie the Sock
Hittite Storm God
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Dental Wealth
Raspberry Panzerfaust
Wolf in a Turban
Plaid and Sequins
Speary Whirit
Lock and Quiche
My Scottish Posse
These English Runes
Cinderella Quickstep
Diagetic Ambiguity and the Fantastical Gap
Banana Blondies
Sexually-Transmitted Ghost
Ponder Stibbons
The Cavity Creeps
Bismuth Patricia
Anteater Financial Aid
A Good and Honest Coward
Sinesta Gillicuty
Beautiful Baubles and Gleaming Gemstones
Whitey Bulger's Final AirBNB
Cheers Monsanto
The Infernocracy
Joe-Bobby and Flannel
Cactus Juice Supply Chain
Calm It Giorno
Fat Nothingburger
Ethereal Beer
There's a Tradeoff
Mom's Bazooka
The Mighty Wurlitzer Organ
Everybody's a Dirigible
A Bookbag, a Bookbag!
Pidgin Pigeon Religion
The Scarecrow Folk
Sue Me, Roland Emmerich
Kissing Ithmuses
Socialist Ghosts
An Alternative Prophet
Father's Famous Flying Flapjacks
Pacific Standard Rhymes
Washtenaw Dairy Boy
Lime Tinged
eeKcM's Logic
Spider of the Mind
Hot Scandi Guy
Dynamite the Warren
Signum of Victory
Eclectic Uncle
Shutterjaw Nineteen o’ Ten
We Have Fun Here
My Hound From Ipswich
Good Elk Pelt
Broccoli Tots
Ignitemares
A Certain Centanarian Cenatur Senator
Plasticine Porters
Bare Knucle Friendships
Jacquespot
Tom Bombadil
Pankration Nation
Nun Lunch
Traveling Inkwell
Ansel Ehrenreich
Unser und Sir
The Hubris Train
Twig the Verb
West Wing Biscuits
Nice Jewish Guys
The Friday Night Kill-In
Electric Forest Festival
Jankin at the Sanctus
Sin Spinach
Sparkhole in the Lulus
Row Bots
Greg's Deadname
Breadtext
Gentry Vacation
The Yellow Hegemony
Appear Upon't
Athledecamathalon
Meaty Blurb
The Sights Unconquered
Turn My Spirit Gold
My Father's Old Service Revolver
Wild Times at Osterweil
Maiden Drowssap
The Fishkeeping Club
Airsick Lowlanders
Attendance Zenith
Frood and Fruitfulness
Enough Elf Tits
Bidet and Night
Silent Himbo
The Vegan Cheese
Enhanced Counterperson
With Regard to Hurricanes
Joe Biden Would...
Chance Maryland
We Speak Flemish!
Pasty-Faced Patsy
Hog Dogs at Le Dog
Inferior Charter Township
Father Son and Homeless Ghost
Christopher Robber Baron
Loosely Scandinavian
Nice Weight to It
A Balanced Breakfast
A Little Saddle-Sore
But No Worse for Wear
Banjos Abate
Garlic Cupcake
Kivah Kolachi
Good in Chainmail
Pheasant Present and the Pleasant Peasants
Photo by Des Willie
Rudyard Kipling the Fish
The Light Fantastic
The Blight Fantastic
Honey Ham Nun Covenant
Beefy Spring Onions
El Cheapo
Rotting Chocolate
Broccoli Dog
Steel Sewing Kit
Hannah, Full of Eggs
Turkish Life
A Brush With Bush
Indigo Banshee
Bruno Branch
The Nightly Chaff
Shakespeare's Cannon
The German Fears
Sunvan
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Flying to Ypsi
Hot Ostrich
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Fresh UI
Yegor is the Name
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Lovechuck
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Murderhobo
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Roundabout Love
Hotel Criterion
Rhinestone Stingray
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Asbestos Possible
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Memoryburger
Tiny Dutchman
American Others
Quiet, You're Dead
November Twelfth at Eight
King Concentric Circles
Judicial Jockey
Droll_Loaf
That Painted Lady
Gel Facilitation
Buzzsaw Cufflinks
Scrupulous Scrutiny
Masks in Common Spaces
Rinky-Dink Pink
MuskyGnome
Fishtank Jester
Forrester Reason
Unpretentious Girls from Memphis
We Want Handouts
Mango Smallhands
Tea of the Month Club
Agent Tarnowsky
Yung Centaur
Broken Snowglobe
Cowpeople
Encrypted Wit
Archie's Puff
Eighteen Angry Democrats
Sympathetic Villains
Tubby Custard
You're Not in Trouble
Raw, Velvety Malachite
Mustard Souls of the Damned
The Declination of Independence
My Birthday Hydroponics
East Jesus Nowhere
Junior Iditarod
The Good Green Lord
Jesús Crimes
Prudish Emmisary
A Comically Large Pile of Cocaine
Falling Like Pollywogs
October Fireflies
Sorry Godwin
Mistbjörn
Political Calvinball
The Limpdick Pantywaists
Pierogi-Positive Household
Climb and Clamber
Beyond My Range of Cruelty
Virtual Churchyard
Denethor's Tomato
Jalapeño Scorpion
Iconic Biceps
Assaulting a Police Horse
Unmute me, Fiend!
Steamy Street
Hills of Meat
Oshkosh
Telekinetic Fetch
Genetic Microtransactions
Poverty Barn
Comic Serifs
The Republic of Toast
Some Damn Cat
Lubbock County
Welcome to Iceland
Tumeric
Sympathy for the Rebellion
Elevators on Their Period
Getting Our Steps In
Skater Mecca
Feels So Sinister
Regular Desert Women
A Butt Plug's Purpose
Everspiffy
The Gentle Morning Neighborhood Trumpeteers
Mah Jong Quest 3
A Potluck Wedding
Six Pack Jesus
All Manner of Depravity
Nose Bologna
Jop Hip and a Skump
Glacier Cannoway
The New York Sillies
Tottel’s Miscelleny
Running my Religion
Clothtop Bandaid
Communist Block Party
Oat Milk Whore
Quesadildo
Ye Salt
Dimensional Beagles
Granite Depression
The Asian Cornrows
One Red Hannah
Mean Creeks
Jonny On The Spot
Heicchu
Pea Milkshake
Statik Lee
Stagger This World
Dead Koch Dybbuk
Pregnant Wallet
Detwah
Carpenter Vigilante
Nifty Gizmo
Three Seans in a Trenchcoat
Analytic Meat
My Lute Awake
Wipes What Never Work
Acoustic Littering
Tree Senate
Impressive Inundations
Flesh Games
Love Like a Teacup
Pigeon on Chair
Single Chip Maddie
Moral Standards of Christmas
Spirit Sagging
Grinch Pits
Sixteenth Symptom
Dammit is Right
Helpless to Be
Tampon Satchel
Medication Mac
Public Cats
Stroobant's Health Center of West Virginia
Norduino Werriwent
Joey's Cold
The Eleventh Nugget
Astrothot
Ooh Guatemala
Tasteful Sapphic Artwork
Pun Rock
submitted by ChinampasDotCom to Bandnames [link] [comments]


2020.11.19 21:13 Thismaybeathrowawa8 Am I Enabling my 13 year old brother with high IQ, mental health problems, and probable autism? (This is very long)

I'm 23m. My brother's 13.
My meth head mom died from OD when we were kids, and we had to to live with our uncle. He is a loving father figure in some ways and a terrible one in others. He went out of his way to save up for expensive gifts and trips for us for example. But he is an Afghanistan veteran with full on flashbacks of actually killing people, and he gets verbally and physically abusive in response to other people's anger and violence. He's four times divorced, 0% custody of his 5 year old daughter, and has had addictions. He does not believe in any kind of psychology because big pharma and conspiracy theories. Even knowing his problems, it's hard for me to say anything positive about my uncle because he's a douche even when he's not having mental health issues. He's very conservative and has a lot of ideas about how to make boys into perfect members of society, and he's racist. He's part Dominican (our mom was full black and they are only half siblings), and he thinks that gives him perspective to say black people's culture is the problem and he needs to try extra hard so we don't become [insert stereotypes] like the rest of the [insert racial slurs]. He says the N word all the time when he's upset with us or black people who fit stereotypes and he'd be seen as a white supremacist if he weren't black himself. (He doesn't understand nobody but him sees him as Dominican. He's just a crazy black guy who hates his own race and it's embarrassing. It's part of why he keeps getting divorced and has no friends who aren't also insane.) I had a lot of fights with my uncle growing up that led to me being injured and then locked outside in the cold. He kicked me out when I was 17 for being gay and said I'm no longer part of the family, and he only relaxed that on holidays when he could monitor me around children. 5 years later, he's a little okay with me being gay because I'm married, but he goes into calling me a child r*post/f word when he's mad at me.
My brother still lives with my uncle, and I think the best way to describe my brother is that he has high abilities in some areas and low in others. He has an IQ in the 140s, but his maturity is at like a 9 year old's level. (His best friends are two 9 year olds who aren't gifted.) My uncle advocated for him to get into gifted programs, and he was very forceful about it with the school. I wonder if he just threatened them and got them to bypass some of the evaluations because when he had weaknesses, they were always just like, "IDK it's probably his parenting." He's been tested twice for autism, and it's hard to get another second opinion where we live despite him having clear social deficits. My brother's able to lie to psychs and downplay his problems enough so they think he's just a late bloomer and doesn't have autism, trauma, or whatever else. My anti-psych uncle has had enough with it and would never seek additional help unless forced by the state, and we know from experience they won't do that unless he has serious symptoms like self harm.
Our grandparents are a bit more sane when it comes to disability testing, and they're the ones who signed him up for autism testing. But they also have an agenda against psycho therapy and medication. When my mom and uncle were kids, they had a brother who went to a therapist that encouraged him to kill himself to escape his strict family, and he did. And she never lost her license or saw a day behind bars. My grandfather gets extremely emotional, yelling expletives and throwing stuff around, when it comes to that topic. He makes it sound like he would assault psychologists if he wouldn't get caught. There's no reasoning with him on this. And he is alcoholic and a meth head that makes him even less rational. He screeches about how the gays and Jews are trying to destroy modern society/send him to live in Africa, and he believes he's psychic. My grandmother is drunk every hour of the day because of her back problems, and she believes in every conspiracy theory she hears about including what my grandfather tells her about the gays and Jews. They're far gone and not people I'm ever going to get to use critical thinking.
My brother has emotional meltdowns where he cries a lot, and he gets dismissed and punished by my uncle for it. When he's over at my apartment, I'm "enabling his mental issues", because I give him a lot of physical affection and talk about what's wrong. It's sissy stuff and I'm turning him gay. To be fair on that last point, my brother has a lot of fantasies that would be completely inappropriate for me to help him act out. I think the old timey term for it is infantilism. He wants me to treat him like a toddler and do stuff like bathe him which is outside of my boundaries, and I wouldn't do it in a life for death scenario if not for the fact that I don't want to give my uncle "evidence" of actually being a pedo. (I let him sleep in my bed with me and my husband just once, and he deliberately peed the bed for attention so he could go through the gross fantasy he had. He admitted as such. People are going to say teens don't do that, but what about 145 IQ teens who known to constantly be thinking and planning things?) This is where therapy would help him to view these things as disgusting like the rest of society and train his mind to block those thoughts out. My brother does not want any changes like puberty things to happen to him, and he thinks that if he puts his head in the sand, shaves everything, and pretends otherwise, he won't actually have to grow up. And I wonder if I am in fact enabling him by treating him like a much smaller kid when he wants me to in ways that can't be construed as inappropriate. There's a line between making him comfortable and supporting a mental illness. Having lived with addicts for my life, I know this. You don't just buy a family member scratch tickets and meth because you love them.
My brother's terrible at school, and they're not giving him any help other than to call him lazy and say my uncle's a bad parent, and then he becomes even stricter with punishment. My brother gets easy As in classes that have no homework and a C or less in classes that do. He flat out refuses to do papers in writing class because they ask for personal experiences he's not comfortable reading in class. Everyone bullies him for being mentally immature for his age. The white kids are racist and call him the N word and steal from him, and the other minorities in his grade are in a clique that excludes and harasses him. Teachers don't care about bullying because everyone does it. He is stuck in a catch 22 where he can't move up to classes that challenge him unless he improved his grades and he lacks the motivation to do so because the classes don't challenge him. They removed his gifted classification citing his laziness and a reassessment where he got only 87 IQ. (No idea what that's about.) He just wants to play games every waking hour, and he makes websites and talks to people online for games he plays. I don't know how to encourage him to do things that will help him get into college or lead to some career other than a gas station. He doesn't want to read above his grade level anymore or learn new things unless they're totally new and interesting. And there's not much he hadn't already learned. He doesn't care about the normal "gifted" topics I see thrown around here like dinosaurs, engineering, aviation, trains. He says he has to "figure shit out" before he worries about memorizing tons of useless information to show off, which he thinks I'm trying to by getting him new interests. He only reads fiction at or below his grade level, stuff about 10 year old detectives that he can finish the whole book in 20 minutes. He wrote his own story and I discouraged him on his freaking rough draft because I just said it was obvious who the killer was even before any clues were introduced. Instead of just fixing that, he said he can't write for shit and never tried again. He's dumb about things like that. He's fine with some things taking practice like games but not others. I tried getting him into sports, and along with being deathly afraid of COVID, he refuses to get a sports physical or be on a sports team where they'll see him naked in the locker room. He doesn't care about sports anyway, and the only reason he'd do it is to be cool. He is off in his own little world daydreaming at football games and doesn't even want to learn the rules of football/soccebaseball/hockey/bball. All boring to him.
I'm just writing this long post because I'm worried about my brother. It was a long road through hell for me to get to a stable position in life, and I really don't think he's capable. It was hard for me and I'm NOT autistic, gifted, or any of that. My only super power is the self control to resist addictions and the temptation to go to war for easy money lol. But I had sugar daddies and did other stuff I'm proud of to get through college without being homeless.
I wish I could get answers online from people who know how things work and won't just say, "Go to therapy" or "Call CPS" (which is a joke here and will make everything worse).
submitted by Thismaybeathrowawa8 to Gifted [link] [comments]


2020.11.07 05:29 OzzieSlim Naked sugar moms

This is called “Running on Empty”. Tonight was like jumping on the back of a motorcycle in bare feet, shorts and no helmet and driving fast down a gravel road. The thrill is exhilarating but the potential for catastrophe exists.
Q1 and Shovel - Unbeknownst to Q1, Shovel (rap name Yellowbone - thank the bunkie that discovered that hot mess!) has injected a gps tracker into his body. So as soon as he crossed the bar door with Q3 and Q4 and their friend “Options”, we knew it went bad. At that point he lied but let’s be fair - 12 years out of civilization he probably wasn’t up on the Gram, FB etc. Word travels faster than old My Space now and Detective Shovel Yellowbone was on it!!! I did not like her trying to manipulate the daughter using Quaylon as bait. Uncool Yellowbone. Uncool.
Lindsey Lowdown and Scott Lauer - I had no idea Miley’s room was in the suburban gothic attic!!! Flowers In the Attic much?? Jesus! But coming right along to complicate Mississippi gothic we get the mystery “friend” Tara Belle. I’m sorry but that name...all I can think of is a cow with a bell. But this girl is all urban scam artist deep in league with lowdown. TB’s antennae are on point with Scott Lauer though! No money!!!!! But TB’s adding machine like mind knows exactly what those power tools will fetch at the Piggly Wiggly Flea Market on Sunday! The Dixie Mafia uses her as a premiere fence.
Baby Boy and Jeffica Daniels - There is something big between she and her sister that we don’t know. It all feels fishy. But we all now know one thing: never tell Jeffica or Baby Boy a secret. Because neither can shut up!
Chief Crazy Truck and Halfway Runaway - So many images. So many bad, bad images. My eyeballs are still in shock at a half naked Crazy Truck, Halfway’s half dress, the visual image she provided us of oral sex with the Chief. So many bad, bad sights and terrible ideas. All completed with a cherry on top when TookTooMuch ponders calling the sheriff. I need sugar from the shock! Someone bring me a Squirt!
Crazy Eyes and the Stunned Mullet - She said yes! Kind of. With Crazy Eyes, nothing is set in stone. I must say, she really thought that ring choice through. All that white gold paired wonderfully with the red cabbage on her arm. And Destinie likes them chubby. If I said it once, I’ll say it again, I want to be inside Destinies Mind for 15 minutes and just say whatever I think. After a beautiful post-engagement romp at the La Quinta, the Mullet once again decides to pit Crazy Eyes against Crazy Ex. Crazy Eyes is talking body bags....Call 911-HECTOR!
Joliet Dylan and Juliette (Kalifornia!) Lewis. This week, we started where we left off - looking from the viewpoint of a bound and gagged hostage on the floor of the car. And then something happened that had me scrambling for the holy water and looking for a priest to perform an exorcism: Juliette Lewis, upon Joliet Dylan opening the car door, transformed into Regan from The Exorcist! A guttural warning issued from a demon’s maw right there in Chicagoland! This was so extreme it shook Joliet Dylan too his scamming soul. This may have even been a catalyst to scare him straight!!!! Like a baby bird with bad judgement, he found his mom and cried. Juliette didn’t like him seeing his mom because she was jealous??? Red flag, Dylan, red flag!!! He may be handsome but he’s as dumb as a box of rocks! When last seen, Satan was speeding away in a damaged gold sedan looking for new souls to reap.
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2020.10.30 00:39 jessequick1988 Sugar moms naked

Prologue

I’m Meredith Rosemen and this is the story of who I am. I know what you are thinking, I find out who I am and have a happy ending and blah blah blah right? Wrong, I’m not like most girls my age, well in some ways I am. I have a family and good home, you know, the boring crap you hear all the time. I’m different because most kids my age know who they are at 18, but I didn’t. I remember when I started figuring out who I am; it was the start of my last year of high school in the small town of New York City. My life back then was, well, normal as it can be for being me. I had a very good looking boyfriend named Jack McKinney. I stole him from the head of the cheerleaders. I’m getting off track; let me take you back to 2007. 

The Hidden Life
The last first day: Chapter 1

I got up late on the first day of my senior year. I had been up until 2:34am talking to my boyfriend Jack McKinney about the first day. I woke up at 7:39am with only fifteen minutes to get out the door. I ran to the bathroom to find it locked, I started hitting hard as I could. A voice came from behind the door it belong to my kid sister, named Maddie. “I’m doing my make-up Matt jr you’ve had your time.” She opened the door and saw me with my clothes in my hands. “I think you have enough make-up for like twenty clowns Mads’. Now move I have to pee and I have to shower before school.” Maddie looked at me and gave me a thing of wet ones and a cup from the medical drawer. “There is your shower and a thing for you to pee in.” I pushed the door open and walked in and did what I needed to do. I got in and out with three minutes to spare, I ran down stairs and headed for the door when a booming voice yelled: “MEREDITH ANNE ROSEMEN GET IN HERE NOW!!” That voice belonged to the one and only Matthew Rosemen Sr., or in other words, my father; or at least that is what my mom tells me he is. I don’t think so though, we are nothing alike what so ever. I walk in and ask nicely: “What can I do for you father?” He looks at me, and puts up his finger for me to come closer to him. “Why were you on the phone at 2:30am this morning? Was the house on fire? Was someone being robbed? What could be so damn important that you would be on the phone at 2:30am? Tell me young lady!” I rolled my eyes and looked at him. “You know I'd love to stay here and talk about that, but I have to go to school. Don’t want to make Lamberg mad at me. Bye dad.” I got on my tip toes and kissed his cheek and ran out the door before dad could say anything else. I ran out and jumped into my 1996 blue Ford pick up truck. I drove to the gas station four blocks from my house where I knew the cashier. I got some gas and ran in the store and grabbed a candy bar from the shelf. “30 in gas and this candy bar and a pack of New Ports.” I threw my I.D at the guy. He picked it up and looked at it and gave me my smokes and rung me up. When the old man went out the door I jumped the counter and kissed the cashier. I told you I knew him. ( Or I just like kissing random guys it is your guess.)The cashier kissed me back for a minute. “So is that my tip Mer’?” I kissed him again and said: "Don’t spend it all in one place Jack.” He just looks at me and smiles. “Aren’t you going to be late for school babe?” I got down off my tip toes and asked “What is Lamberg going to do? Throw me out for being late for the first day? I wish.” Jack snorts and picked me up and told me it was time for me to leave. I jumped in my truck and lit up a cig and smoked it on the way to school. I was on my second smoke when I pulled into my favorite spot. It was the last spot by the end of the fence. I jumped out of my truck and started walking toward the school. My school is about the same age as the town, give or take a decade or two. I was almost to the front door, when I saw my enemy Starla Scrubbs greeting people with a fake smile they teach you when you sign to become a cheerleader. It’s finally my turn to see the snob and I try to get past her without much notice. “HOLD IT ROSEMEN, I SMELL SMOKE! MISS .LAMBERG!! ROSEMEN SMELLS!!” Just then the principal walked over wearing her hair in a tight little bun on her head and wearing a three piece suite that you would see a lawyer have for court. “Why yes Starla you are right, Meredith does smell of smoke.” I looked at both of them. "You should know what smoke smells like Scrubbs, you use to smoke more then I do to keep the weight off.” She snorted at me and said: “Like I would ever do that?” “I guess cause the throwing up all your meals wasn’t keeping you in the size zero.” I walked away smiling to myself. “Oh Miss. Rosemen, my office. I’ll meet you there and we can have chat.” The principal said. I looked back and said “Sure I’ll meet you there in three and have coffee waiting for you. Cream no sugar right? Biter just like you.” Twenty minutes later I was at my locker throwing in my stuff and putting a picture of Jack and I in it. (it was taken on our first year anniversary. When he gave me one of his favorite leather jackets.) When I shut the door, a cup of coffee and a rose was handed to me. I looked up and saw the bright green eye Jack. “So you can’t even to make it to the first class of the day without getting your skinny little butt in trouble Meredith?” I smile up at him and said: “I know I’m trouble Jack, but that is what makes you love me even more.” Jack rolled his eyes and led me to our math class and opened the door for me. (such a gentleman) “So we do get the enjoyment of Rosemen and McKinney after all, and I thought I was going to get lucky and have a year off of the two of you.” The person you just heard from was our "amazing" math teacher Mr.Blaste. (or Herbie) Ten minutes later, class was over and our "amazing" teacher wanted to talk to Jack and myself. “I know you two are known for doing God knows what and skipping classes to do it. If you ever do that in my class, your butts will be in Lamberg’s office got it?” Jack and I looked at each other and said: “Yep Sir.” We gave him a salute as we walked out and started going down the hallway to our next classes. “What is Blaste’s problem babe?” Jack asked me wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I thought for a minute and looked up at him. “I really don’t know, but I can guess it’s male p.m.s.” Jack chuckled and took a drink of my coffee. “Cute, Mere’, really. I got to go to auto shop though.” Jack bent down and kissed my mouth carefully. “By the way that was me cashing in my tip.” I smiled and said: “Well I’m going to go and impress all the boys with my ways with wood.” Jack just laughed at my stupid joke. Three classes later it was time for my smoke break. I go about two blocks from the school and sit on the water tower to smoke. (at the bottom of the water tower because I hate high places.)My friends Angel Greene and J.G Lights come with me. They don’t smoke, and they have been on my case for years to stop, but I don’t listen. ( I have been smoking since eighth grade. Got caught smoking in the boy’s room. Don’t ask why I was in the boy’s room. Need to know.) About four hours later I’m at Jack’s second job helping him; or trying to without breaking anything. “Hey Meredith can you hand me that wrench please?” Jack said from under the car. I handed him the wrench without dropping it on him. {Thanks to Jack I know the difference between flathead and philp’shead screw driver.} He fixed whatever it was that was wrong with the car and got out from under it. (I guess it was an easy fix like my truck.)He leaned toward me and tried to kiss me. “No, no dirty boy you've got to clean up first before your lips touch mine.” He ducked and kissed his lips to my check and said: “Ha-ha I win.” I threw a rag at him and told him to wash himself for a while. (I’m going to have to use a metal scrubby to get that off.) Just then, a 1976 Mustang came in with the I.D that read “Hot Stuff.” I saw it and ran for the bathroom to hide. My older brother Matt Jr got out of the car and started talking guy stuff with Jack. “So where is my sister McKinney?” Jack pointed to the bathroom. “Go figure. When dad is on the war path, Meredith hides in the bathroom.” Jack asked what I did this time around. “I don’t know dude. All I know is that she's in for it when she gets home for dinner. Too bad dad doesn’t allow outsiders to dinner. You would love it.” My brother laughed at it for a minute and walked over to the bathroom. He knocked on the door. “Sorry someone is in here.” I said with a best male voice I can use. “I know it’s you Meredith. Just make sure you are at dinner, or dad will have your head in his office before you could smoke your last smoke.” With that my brother was gone. I spent two more hours with Jack and headed home finishing off my pack of smokes. I dug through my backseat to find the body spray I use to try to hide the smell of smoke on me. I got into the house and hung my jacket and my keys on the hook. I run up stairs to finish up my homework. Not long had I shut my door when someone knocked on it. “May I come in Meredith?” My mom asked opening my door a little. “Sure I’m just finishing up my homework and looking at my reading list for the year.” My mom came in and saw my room was a mess. “You know, if you let me repaint and get some new flooring for your room it could look really nice.” She said trying to pick up my dirty clothes. “No mom, it’s fine, it just needs to be cleaned some is all.” My mom looked around a little and cleared a space on my favorite chair and sat. “You know that your dad is mad that you stayed up until 2:30am this morning? I just want to know why.” I look at her. “I was just freaked out that this is my last year in high school and I don’t know what I’m going to do for college yet. I know that you guys want me to go for banking and all but I want something else. I don’t know what yet. I was up talking to Jack about it.” “You know what you want to do Meredith you are just afraid it might hurt your family. I know you want to be a cop. But you are right your father and I want you to be a banker like us. But we also want you, our daughter, to be happy.” (They have an odd way of showing it.) Mom looked at me, sighed, and then she left and came back again. “Dinner is in 15 minutes I made everyone’s favorites.” I went down to dinner well after it started. My family sat there and waited for me. Wasn’t that nice of them? “Why are you late to dinner Meredith Anne?” My father asks. “I was trying to get ahead start on a paper that will be due at the end of the semester dad.” My brother rolled his eyes. We ate without talking for ten minutes. “So how was your first day Maddie?” My father calls my sister by Maddie only because she hates being called by Madeline Elizabeth. She looked up from her phone in her lap and said: “Fine. They put me in the wrong gym though, but nothing I can’t handle. Maybe you should ask how Meredith spent the first hour today daddy.” I look at her and flipped her off under the table. My father drank some wine and looked at me. “How did you spend your first hour on the first day Meredith Anne?” My father folded his hands together. I took a bite of macaroni and cheese. “I spent the first hour with Lamberg because Scrubbs can’t keep her mouth shut. She told Lamberg something about me, that I didn’t do, and I got in trouble for it when Starla started it!” He looked at me trying not to get the veins in his head to pop out. “I don’t care who started it Meredith Anne. You shouldn’t have done anything to make it worse. I’m starting to think that you aren’t really my daughter, because my daughter would never do anything to get in trouble.” I looked at mom and asked if I could leave the table to do some reading. For about a week I try to be good so my dad didn’t freak out so much. I didn’t know he thought of me that way. On Friday after school I came straight home from school trying to stay on my dad’s good side so he wouldn’t have a heart attack. (I’ll let the other two do that on their own.) I was in the living room watching tv because it’s the only one in the house. I surfed the 500 channels we have, when dad walked in. I looked up because I could hear his shoes make a noise on the hard wood floor. He must have had a hard day at the bank, he didn’t have his tie on and his blue eyes were blood shot. “Hey honey how was school?” I looked at him for a second. “It was fine. Maddie was trying to bug me at lunch, but it was nothing. I’ve already got my homework done for the weekend.” That made dad smile which is a good sign. “So do you have plans this weekend? Why don’t you call Angel and ask her to spend the night or something.” I can tell Dad is trying to be nice. I shook my head. “Angel has to go out of town she is spending time with her grandma. And J.G is going to a college to look at it for next fall.” Dad just sat there and tried not to choke out the words. “Why not ask Jackson McKinney out on a date or ask him to go to church with us?” I sat there surprised that he even asked that. “Well I can call him and see if he wants to go to the movies or dinner or something, and maybe if I can butter him up some, I’ll ask about church. Don’t worry I’ll make sure he has a tie and sports jacket.” I got up and kissed dad on the check and gave him the TV clicker. (He turns to sports 24/7 and falls asleep.) I ran to my room and shut the door. I called Jack to ask him out. Mr. McKinney picked up the phone. “Hi this is Rod McKinney speaking. Who is this?” Mr. McKinney likes me because I speak my mind. “Hi Mr. McKinney is Jack around?” Jack’s dad yelled for him. After a minute or two Jack was on the phone. He must have been outside doing car stuff or something. “Hey Mere’ what’s up?” We talked for a few minutes. “You want to go out tonight say a movie or pizza?” I asked. Jack thought about it for a minute or two. “Sure babe pizza and movie sounds great. I’ve been working on my dad’s Toyota all day and I still don’t know what’s wrong with it.” I laughed at it. Mr. McKinney is the only one I know who actually likes Toyotas for some reason. “I don’t know what’s playing, but we can check the drive in when we go. I think it’s some 80’s movie.” Jack says. We talked for a few more minutes and said see you at 7:00pm and love you. Since I only had like three hours to get ready I started going through my clothes trying to find something sexy and that dad would let me out of the house in without freaking out. I jumped in and out of the shower and started trying to dry my hair. It took me about an hour. It took another hour to curl it just right. By the time I had gotten dressed and did my make-up, the clock on the computer read 6:57pm. I threw my shoes on and rushed down stairs before dad saw me, but it was too late. I was just about to grab the door when I heard laughing from the living room. I looked in to see Jack and Dad talking about sports. I walked in and tried to listen to what they were saying but I didn’t understand it at all. I guess I had to be a guy to understand football stats. “Jack it’s time to go. How long have you been here?” They both looked at me at the same time. “I’ve been here for ten minutes, don’t worry Meredith.” Jack said to Meredith smiling. Dad got up and said: “I was just trying to get to know Jackson Anthony a little honey. Don't freak out. Is that what you kids say? Freak out.” I look at him carefully. Dad had been drinking. He tries to be cool when he is drunk. I rolled my eyes at him. “We did until you just said that. Come on Jack we got to go.” We went out the door and headed to Jack’s car. He drove a van that had once been his mom’s, and then his brother’s before he went to the air forces. (And when it was Patrick’s there was nothing but trash everywhere fast food bags and cups. Some other things. Not going to say what you can guess what that is.) Jack held the door for me. I got in and look in the back. The seats are out of it and have been replaced with a blow up bed and a couple of sleeping bags. The movie was pretty in pink, not my favorite 80’s movie, but Jack and I hadn’t really watching the movie. We were in the back kissing and talking. If you looked at Jack you would see an ex-football player and a guy who loves to work on cars, but only I knew the truth that he was a big sweet loving guy. “So we have had dinner and watched some of a movie now what?” Jack asked softly. I look up at him. “Well we can talk, or sleep. Or…. No you won’t.” He looked at me. “What is it Meredith?” I smiled at him sweetly. “Well we could make out like the two horny teenagers that we are.” Jack laughed. “True we can.” We kissed for a while. “Dad wanted you to come to church on Sunday. You have a tie right?” Jack got off of me and layed on his side. “Yes I have a tie; I have about ten of them. As for church, I’m not sure.” I gave him my best sad look. “Please Jack for me?” He rolled his eyes. “I guess two hours of church won’t kill me, but you owe me big time Meredith.” I laughed. “Fine I’m your slave for a week.” With that Jack grinned like a goofball and started kissing me again. All Saturday I spent cleaning my room and reading the books on the reading list for English class. A good part of them I have read before for fun. So no problem there. A couple of them I never heard before. 
The next day everyone woke up at 7:30 to go to church. We went to one about an hour away from our house. I was ready for it within twenty minutes and was reading a book for English. Our teacher this year was Mr. Webber he was very cool, but when it comes to papers for his class, he has a crap load of rules. The book we were reading was The Freedom Writers, it’s banned from schools, but Mr. Webber said we could read them, because they teach us how to get along and write out the truth.
Twenty- four minutes later mom was yelling for everyone to have some pancakes she had made. I threw the book in my church bag and ran down stairs. I grabbed the first seat I saw before my brother showed up and ate half the food in sight. My dad came in the dinning room looking like he was going to get sick any second. He must stop taking drinking tips from my brother. My father sat at the head of the table waiting to get waited on by mom. He threw a couple of pain killers in his mouth and chased it down with coffee. My sister came down with music in her ears that everyone else could hear too and her hair in curlers. My dad gave a little cry when Maddie’s music went to the high note. My mom walked over and took Maddie’s headphones off of her and told her to turn off her music and eat. My brother came down stairs into the dinning room looking as sick as dad. I guess they had been drinking together, even though Matt Jr didn’t turn 21 until July. When my mom saw how bad my brother looked she sent him back to bed thinking he had the flu or something. Ten minutes later the doorbell rang. Dad cried again. My sister got the door. “Hey Jack everyone is in the dinning room. Come on in.” The door was closed softly and Jack came in. My father got up and walked to his office and asked if Jack would go in there with him so he could talk to him. I don’t know what happened in that talk with dad and Jack but it was over in five minutes. Jack came out running his fingers through his hair. I cleared my plate and looked over to where he is. “So how was it?” Jack looked up at me. “Fine Meredith.” I sat on his lap for a second. I got up when I saw dad walking out of his office. “How much longer until we leave?” I ask dad. He looked at the clock in the dinning room. “About five minutes Meredith Anne.” I went into the kitchen to help mom wash the dishes. Five minutes later everyone was in mom’s van to go to church. It’s a 2006 Wind star Ford, it’s dark gray with a sun roof. Jack helped Maddie and me into the van before he got in himself. Dad marked a check on a small piece of paper. We drove along the high way with no music on or talking for 15 minutes. “So my sister called right before we left the house. You girls remember your Aunt Emily right?” Maddie and I looked at each other and said sure I think…. “Well she has a son who wants to come here and live with us. You two won’t know him. He is 16 I think.” Mom looked at dad. “What is his name?” my mom asks dad. “His name is Jesse Daniel. He doesn’t cause trouble or anything.” My dad goes on about him trying to sell to the family how great his sister’s son is. “What room will he be in daddy?” My sister asked trying to kiss up. My father looked at Maddie and smiled. “Well he’ll be in the guest room because I don’t think he will want to share with Matt Jr.” My brother was a pig and slob and whatever other name you could think of when you saw a messy room. I'd only been in his room once when I was 14 and I couldn’t see the floor. He had pictures of half naked girls on his walls and one on the celling over his bed or at least I think that was his bed. There were also pizza boxes everywhere along with underwear from when he was a kid. We got to church and had a great time. Dad had to leave to go and throw up. At 12:30pm church let out. We got in the van and started to go home. “Why don’t we stop and get something for lunch. Would you like to pick Jackson?” Jack looked up when my mom said his full first name. “Sure if that’s okay with you Mr. Rosemen?” My dad looked at him. “It’s fine with me Jackson Anthony.” Jack thought for a second. “There is a great place on Freedom and 16th. My family use to go there a lot when I was a kid.” We got there within ten minutes and saw the sign that read: Rossi’s Family style eats. “It looks nice Jackson.” My mom said putting her hand on his shoulder. Jack smiled and we all went in. Jack held the door for everyone. We talked and ate and went home. When the rest of the family went inside Jack and I hung out for a few more minutes. “So starting tomorrow I’m your slave for a week. What are you going to have me do?” Jack looked down at me and smiled. “Let’s see for starters wash my clothes, and then change the oil in my dad’s car…” Jack said. “You are dreaming that I’m going to touch your underwear Jack.” He pouted in a cute fashion. “I’m just kidding babe. Church wasn’t that bad I guess but it needed a break so people can take an hour nap.” I rolled my eyes at him. “That is what the ride home is for honeybee.” Jack left and I went inside and the family was in their rooms. I went to dad’s study to talk to him. “Hey dad can we talk?” He looked at me. I came in the room. “I was just thinking that Jackson Anthony is a great guy after all. Maybe he will like to come to dinner one night this week.” Dad must be trying to butter me up for something. Everytime he wants something he does this thing where he acts like he likes something I do. It kind of bugs me sometimes. “Dad what do you want?” He looked shocked. “You know me too well kid. I was hoping you will pick up Jesse Daniel from the bus station on Tuesday at 4:45. It will mean a lot to me and your mother if you did. I’ll give you money for gas.” I acted like I was thinking about it. “Sure dad I’ll get him, but why were you putting checks on a piece of paper during church?” He smiled at that question. “I was just giving Jackson Anthony points and if he got more then ten I said to myself that I would lay off and be nice to the boy.” I smiled at that. “How many did he get?” He grabbed the piece of paper and let me look. I saw that my father gave Jack 15 points. “So you are going to lie off of him? Does that mean I can stay out all night with him now?” Dad scuffed. “No but it means I’m going to be nicer to him.” I looked at dad. “Good and by the way he hates being called Jackson Anthony. Everyone calls him Jack.” Dad looked at me and hugged my shoulder. “It’s late maybe you should get ready for bed soon. You have school tomorrow." I kissed dad’s check and went up to my room to get ready for another Monday. 
The next day everything went great. I met Jack at the gas station for my coffee and smokes. “So it seems that you charmed the tie off my father. You going to tell me what happened when you talked to him yesterday? I know his study looks well scary. Try to picture that as a young child being yelled at for trying to mail your younger sibling to the middle of no where.”
“Your dad and I talked about us as in you and me. He wanted to make sure that I treat you right. That I wasn’t using you for some twisted game. I told him that I love you and I would never do anything to break your heart because if I even thought about it you would break something of mine.”
I nuzzled my head into his neck to breathe in his scent for a second. “Have I told you that I love you lately? And yes if you did break my heart I would break something of yours. And you wouldn’t like what I would break. But I’m happy that you and my father are on good terms.” I kissed his mouth sweetly.
“So what sibling tried to mail the other to the middle of no where? No let me guess you tried to mail Maddie. What did she do to tick you off as child?”
“No I didn’t try to mail off Maddie Matt Jr did because he didn’t want another sister who might bite him. Dad didn’t like that his oldest tried to mail his youngest. It sets a bad example for me. Like Matt jr had to think of himself.”
Jack laughed a little bite to himself. He kissed me and let me go.
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2020.10.23 23:26 CareyLovesRaccoons Naked sugar moms

So I've been rewatching and rethinking - S4 IS the best season. Yes it has its flaws but then again every season does. Here are some of the best things about it.

  1. The fact that finchel broke up. I might get downvoted here, but them breaking up was honestly one of the best things to ever happen. They sang good together but other than that had little to nothing in common and not only did they take up valuable screentime in the first three seasons (s3 especially) it portrayed BOTH of them as possessive/obsessive over each other. Them being broken up allowed them to develop independently without their storylines revolving around each other.
  2. Finn was becoming a lot more likable as a person and admittedly a better teacher than Schue ever was. I really liked his close friendship with the newbies, like when he was fighting Unique's battle against Sue over Grease, and I also liked his relationship with Artie. I liked how he didn't want Artie to feel uncomfortable posing nude (yet Schue suspends Marley for more or less the same thing in S5, SMH)
  3. Marley in general. I loved her from day one. She was honestly one of the most committed members of the group, willing to share and accepting and kind towards everyone, willing to contribute (writing songs), a good friend and very loyal (being the only one to show up after they disbanded). And she's ambitious, the good kind.
  4. The fact that Blaine ditched the bowties for a long time. I've never liked bowties in general, and I think he looked a lot more mature without them.
  5. Blaine and Sam's friendship in general - man did I really love these two bonding together! Yeah it did lead to Blaine crushing on Sam (who wouldn't?) but I like the way Sam reacted to it and how he always accepted Blaine - this is why he's one of my favourite characters, he's always been accepting of everyone.
  6. Speaking of good friendships: MARLEY AND UNIQUE. Not only did they sound amazing together but I just loved their bond in general. Marley admiring Unique's bravery, threatening not to go to the sleepover if Unique isn't invited, covering for Unique being the catfish, them both instantly bonding and accepting each other. It was nice to have a well-developed friendship where it didn't get dropped or where they didn't end up competing with one another over something.
  7. I actually really liked Cassandra July. Don't like her actress's last name (obvious reasons) but she was a really good guest star. I loved how she was toughening Rachel up and secretly liked her. Way to build up her character.
  8. Quinntana. OK, not exactly the brunette we all wanted Quinn to end up with but still, damn! If only they'd made it last more than one episode. This could have created an interesting storyline, with it developing and it turning out that Quinn is gay/bi/bicurious and Santana helping her come to terms with it. Why oh WHY did it get dropped?
  9. The Grease arc. One of my favourite shows and everyone - Marley and Sugar especially - was perfectly cast. Pity we didn't actually see Unique as Rizzo. The songs were amazing too!
  10. The fact that during the competitions (well, Regionals) the solos were more fairly distributed with everyone barring Sugar getting a solo.
  11. Isabelle, Isabelle, ISABELLE. Man did I really love her, SJP was honestly one of the best guest stars they ever had. Why did they get rid of her?
  12. The fact that finchel and Klaine were both broken up made the show feel more like an ensemble as it should be.
  13. Kurt's internship at Vogue. I honestly would have preffered him to go into fashion as there are no limits with fashion and there are no limits with it. Whereas he would most likely struggle with theatre as there are VERY few if any roles for countertenors.
  14. I really loved the Christmas episode! Like 12, it really felt like an ensemble with various characters/storylines getting their turn in the limelight. I particularly liked the Sue/Marley storyline and Artie's storyline.
  15. Dynamic Duets - man did I love that episode! It's a shame we didn't get to see their superhero alter-egoes more often.
  16. The bond between Marley and her mom, honestly one of the best parent/child relationships on the whole show.
  17. The alumni (well, most of them) coming back to help assist with Grease and the competitions. I particularly liked the one-on-one mentoring, though I think Jake would have been better off with Mike as they're both really good dancers. And how Santana suspected Kitty. And the few moments we got of the alumni all hanging out, especially the Home mashup.
  18. The shooting episode. A lot of people will be surprised to see this here, but I liked it because it focused more on the storyline rather than music and we got to see everyone's acting skills. Chord and Heather's acting in particular really stood out.
  19. Huntbastian - even though they didn't share too much screentime they were pretty shippable.

Meanwhile here are some things that weren't so great about it:

  1. The writers could have done their research and/or got an expert to help them write these serious storylines they gave the newbies. Bulimia isn't something that can be cured over Christmas, they spent about 5 episodes building it up only for it to rarely get mentioned. Not to mention more or less forcing Marley to be Posh Spice without her getting a say and having her wear a revealing outfit. And what she was wearing in Diva. Would a person with an eating disorder be comfortable wearing these outfits? Also, Ryder's dyslexia wasn't ever brought up after 4x07, it was dropped just like Sam's was.
  2. Kitty in general. Coming from someone who hates Finn outing Santana and Karofsky threatening to kill Kurt, this was the worst thing ANYONE ever did on the whole show. EVER. The fact that she never got called out for it or caught makes me really mad - honestly she should have been exposed and expelled for what she did. She also forced Marley to be Posh "because she's skinny" (whose fault is that?) and was racist towards Mercedes.
  3. This whole thing with Brittany thinking Unique was Mercedes. How they made it a recurring thing to. That's racist and NOT okay.
  4. The "tethered" line in the wedding episode. Tethered means tying up an animal to restrict its movement. That was literally one of the dumbest things the writers ever put in the script. Ever.
  5. The complete lack of Faberry interaction, barring Naked, and even then Santana was with them the whole time.
  6. Random people constantly disappearing. First it was Sugar, then Joe, I think Unique missed one or two as well? Was there any need for them to do this? And no mention of Rory either.
  7. More villainizing characters who cockblock an endgame couple. There was literally NOTHING wrong with Brody, the writers just decided to make him a prostitute to ensure Rachel ends up marrying and playing house with the homophobic tree - well that WAS their intention until Cory died.
  8. Seriously why are the alumni CONSTANTLY coming back to school? Why can't they just hang out at someone's house or a bowling alley or a cinema or a park or literally ANYWHERE? And they couldn't have split their screentime more equally, like showing Mike at his dance school for example?
  9. Good grief what have they done to Tina? Yes I'm happy they gave her more screentime but why is she now a bitch? And creepy crushing on a guy who she KNOWS is gay? The vapo rape thing really creeped me out.
  10. Brittany's comment in 4x09 about the "lesbian bloggers attacking Sam" - was that REALLY necessary? And I didn't even have anything against Bram, and this is coming from a Brittana shipper.
submitted by CareyLovesRaccoons to glee [link] [comments]


2020.10.20 16:59 Oculusfluffy Naked sugar moms

Sam Adams Guide Chapter 4 - Episode 1 - GRANPA156 and Pumpiikin Pastebin entry: https://pastebin.com/kcZxdNan
Previous entry: https://www.reddit.com/fluffycommunity/comments/jd0v4h/sam_adams_guide_chapter_3_buwwito_aids/
Mr. Adams' Guide to Practical Fluffs - Part 4 - Episode 1 by Oculus
Featuring art by GRANPA156 and Pumpiikin

You love fluffies!

And after being on a trip between three different countries to meet three different fluffy breeds, you’re eager to meet more. "Right, so, whats the next breed you're going to show me?" you ask Sam in anticipation

"I'm afraid I have to leave you here."

You are in shock at Sam’s words, as you exclaim "Leave me here? In the middle of goddamn Germany?!!"

Sam holds his hand up, indicating you to keep quiet. He then reaches into his suit, and pulls out a few documents, tickets, and a wad of money

"I... what is this?"
"I got you a reservation for a ten day stay at the Ritz Carlton in Berlin."

Your eyes are wide open, as you blurt out, "Stay?!! But I got work tomorrow! I can't just take-"

Sam passes you another document. It has your boss's signature on it, as well as notification that you're taking a leave of absence for at least two weeks.

"Wha-?"
"He was a bit cheap. And you've done a lot for me in the past, so, consider this as thanks."

You're still fairly dumbfounded by this generosity. You continue to flip through the documents, then found two tickets to Tokyo.

"Tokyo? Whats going on?"
"Ah yes. I can't get your passport here, but I can get you a trip to Japan. Hasbio is having a conference there related to their latest work in genetic engineering. And, more importantly, ABAP Japan has a Door there."

A bit befuddled by this whole thing, you ask Sam a rather simple question. "Don't you have a teleporter here?"
"Alas," moans Sam, "we don't. The Gowdies here don't generate enough energy or break the laws of physics ( >>15062 ) to pull off such a stunt, and it takes a certain type of fluffy to be able to fire up a Door. We do have a Door in Japan though, so you're just going to have wait until I settle business in Germany, before we can go to Japan. And from there, I can take you home.

In the meantime, enjoy yourself in Berlin. Du bist jetzt ein Berliner!"

As Sam walks off, you're wondering what you're going to do in Berlin for the next ten days.

~

~Granpa156~
~Featuring A Tribute to Seabreeze~

Ten days passed by rather fast. You had a great time in Berlin. And soon enough, you found yourself on a private jet chartered by Sam. The plane is currently making a nonstop journey to Tokyo. It was a long flight, so you decided to have a bit of a snooze. the thing was, you had the weirdest fucking dream

You dream of a world where the reverse happened. Where the fluffies were the intelligent race, and the humans were the "dumb ones". A world where fluffies, or Equus Sapiens, had experimented with the rather primal Homo Caballus to create the genetically-engineered "human race". In this world, humans over-populated, and raided fluffy homes, while the fluffies, being able to use magic, hand to fend off human raiders. (>>25348 >>25370 >>25398 )
It was really weird. so weird, it was like you had to wake up from the dream

"Didn't sleep well?"

Sam greets you. He's in his bathrobe, holding a cup of coffee and seems like he just got out of the shower. No, that’s wrong. He left the door of his quarters open, and you can see the flight attendant on the bed, naked, and fast asleep. Sam blushes, then closes the door quickly.

"Erm, you caught me doing worse."
As he sits downs on the chair opposite yours, you catch a glimpse of his well-endowed junk. Grabbing your eyes, you softly say “I did not need to see that.”
“Sorry about that.” An embarrassed Sam apologizes, as he rearranges his robe to be more accommodating.

"Yeah whatever, I just had the weirdest fucking dream."

As you narrate your dream to Sam, he starts wondering, “Maybe it’s a glimpse into a parallel universe.”
“Oh knock it off Sam, its just a dream.”
“I’m serious mate. One of the problems with using the door is that, after a while, you start experiencing parallel realities. Sometimes they may be physical, sometimes its mental. I’ve encountered a few alternate realities myself, sometimes in dreams.”
“Yeah well, I seriously find it hard to believe that a fluffy pony civilization can exist, that could create humans the way our reality is the opposite of that.”

Sam takes a sheet of paper from a memo pad. He then starts drawing some random stuff, as he imagines the scenario. "Actually that got me thinking. How would a fluffy society work, and how would ferals come about? In our world there are dogs that wear tiny sweaters, but the dogs don't have manufacturing capabilities either. I imagine that the fluffy pony civilization has built an industry around providing accessories for their human pets. Further, I imagine that the humans would reject naked humans or humans clad in caveman skins from their group the same way that we would. So they are all wearing clothes made by the fluffy ponies, though feral life has made them shabby…."

"You're thinking WAY too much about this!"

~

You are currently attending the Hasbio Japan conference with Mr Adams. As Mr Adams is a member of ABAP, he maintains some relations with Hasbio, and can attend their press conferences. However, despite this relationship, many of the staff in Hasbio, particularly the scientists, are not fond of Mr Adams. He has had their run-ins with them before, on questionable ethics.

One of the more interesting things covered in the conference is the successful cloning of the Woolly Mammoth. However, due to the size of the creature, as well as its large dietary requirements and particular habitat preferences, mammoths are currently restricted to a Hasbio enclosure in Siberia. It is not known if or when a woolly mammoth will be brought to a zoo, if at all. Hasbio, however, has ruled out a potential Jurassic Park situation. A UN agreement a few years back has maintained a ban on any attempt to clone an animal that existed before the Cenozic Era. As it is, they are now working on banning recreations of animals like the Smilodon and the Basilasaurus. Even the Mammoth was frowned upon due to its sheer size and was eventually allowed due to its herbivorous nature. Hasbio is currently turning its attention towards bringing back the High Arctic camel. ( >>25563 )

The conference continues, and a representative from Hasbio starts talking about the commonly perceived negative perceptions of fluffies. As she keeps going into detail about their common selfish attitudes, their rejection of alicorns, and their limited intelligence, the Hasbrio representative then takes the moment to announce work on the "Hasbio Biological Companion version 2.0" ( >>23554 )

\"Hasbio Biological Companion version 2.0\" (Artist:GRANPA156)
Following a drumroll, and the unveiling of a curtain, in steps a literal biological recreation of Princess Celestia. You recognize it, because you had watched reruns of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic as a child. From Sam, you also know that Hasbio started work on fluffies as a result of trying to meet the growing demand among the populace for their own pony pet. Fluffies, however, were considered a rushed product
This biotoy, being show accurate, seems more in line with what Hasbio intended from the start.

"Huwwo fwens! Huwwo daddehs, mummahs and kind mistahs! Cewestia fwuff am good fwuff!"

The Hasbio representative is speechless, and her face has turned completely red. She politely asks for her spot to end while she rushes the "Celestia" off-stage. Despite the heavy soundproof curtains, you can vaguely hear her anger through the veil. "What do you MEAN you didn't breed out the fluffspeak?!! You embarrassed me in front of all our stockholders, you FUCKS!" In addition, the “Celestia” could be heard crying "Owie! Mummah am meanie! Huu huu..."

"Welp, that was a disaster," quipped Sam.

As the conference ends and the audience clear, you think about the fluffies depicted in the presentation. They didn't seem like any you had seen before sold in a Fluffmart. They had a more equine shape to them, and more equine-like snouts, unlike other, more popular fluffy breeds.

~

"Oh, those are GRANPAs."
"GRANPAs?"
"To be more precise, the GRANPA-156. Fairly rare breed. The scientist you saw speaking was actually one of the scientists involved in their creation."

Tomoko and her fluffy (Artist:GRANPA156)
As the two of you keep walking, you pass by a schoolgirl holding a brown GRANPA fluffy. Her eyes are ladened with bags, her hair a complete mess, and she has seen the best of the days. However, she seems happy, as she cuddles the brown fluffy in her arms. The fluffy seems to have been doing well under her. ( >>26708 )

"Why didn't they make more of them?"
"It is hard to say. One thing about fluffies released by Hasbio directly, is that there's also a limit to how much you can breed or crossbreed them. It is something that I myself, as well as the rest of ABAP, are still trying to understand. It could be a case of different genes resulting in a different makeup, thus making certain 'breeds' the equivalent of species or sub-species, like the difference between a fox and a dog. but none of this is certain."
"I feel like I have seen fluffies like GRANPAs before."
"There is definitely a type, but I can't put my figure on what the type is like. I feel like it is similar to the Babbeh-Teef, Fluffus and Red breeds. And definitely not the same as Pumpiikins. But I want to do some comparison and research before I confirm the existence of a type."

~

The trip to the ABAP Japan building was not long, and currently, you're in the same type of room as the one you had been in previously. Sam and the scientists converses with the Japanese ABAP staff fluently

"スパゲティの機械を揃えなさい!""了解!"
As the devices are prepped, you can hear the boxes, clearly with some kind of fluffy in them, going "Sketti! Sketti! Sketti!"
You want to tell Sam that the fluffies are too excited, but, you think Sam knows already.

"馬鹿! You put in too much power!"

He says this, breaking out of the Japanese. It is possible that he is getting exasperated. As you walk towards the door, and the fluffies keep yelling"Sketti! Sketti! Sketti" intensely, you have no idea what will happen next.

Upon pressing down the door handle, you feel a sudden jolt, like as if something from the other side of the door pulls you in. Sam calls for your name, but it is a bit too late. The door closes before he can get to you.

~

Your head hurts. Whatever force had pulled you through the door, it has landed your face right smack into a toilet bowl. Your face is dangerously hovering above the water. From the smell, you can tell that someone clearly didn't flush.

"Jesus christ."

You now have a vague idea of what Sam was warning you about. As you try to regain your bearing, you hear a cry from outside your cubicle.

"Daddeh! Pweeze no weave fwuffy and babbeh!"
"Godammit Seabreeze, I need to go to the toilet!"

As he says this, you feel a little twinge in your stomach. Oh god, you got to make the big poopies! As you sit upon the toilet seat, you could overhear a phone conversation from the cubicle beside you. The voice belongs to the same man who was talking to his rather needy fluffy earlier.

"Yeah, who is this? Oh hey dad.

Yeah, yeah I'm doing fine. Just left the company a week ago, but I am going for an interview tomorrow. Came to ABAP today to ensure Seabreeze gets her routine check-up and shots."

That one line relieves you. Looks like Sam's stupid door DID work. Wish the fluffies had picked a better spot though.

"Yeah, Seabreeze is doing fine. Same for her foal, Aurora. It is amazing how fast foals can grow up. Aurora is a big adult now. I think it is a miracle that Seabreeze was able to raise her, what with her being an alicorn."

That line intrigues you. Even though you eavesdropping on what is a fairly private conversation, you can't help but want to listen more.

"Yeah, Aurora was Seabreeze's only child. I should tell you the story of what happened over the past year.

Seabreeze really wanted a child of her own, which tends to happen when fluffy mares watch too much FluffTV. So she ran off one day, and got knocked up by a random feral. I was rather angry with her, but at the same time, was intrigued at the idea of raising a foal. After all, we got Seabreeze as an adult.
However, there was a little accident while Seabreeze was pregnant."
You could hear him hesitating. It seems to be that whatever happened to him and his fluffy must have been difficult.

Seabreeze and Aurora (Artist:GRANPA156)
"Suffice to say, Seabreeze had Aurora. Seabreeze initially rejected Aurora. After all, she was an alicorn."
You hear him chuckle, as he recollects, "I remember the first time she breastfed her filly. She genuinely thought that Aurora was trying eat her! She kept calling me in the middle of the night, and I had to remind her that, no, Foam was not a monster, and Foam was her babbeh.

It was difficult to say the least."

There is a change of tone in his voice, as it becomes a bit more tender.

"But, Aurora has been a good girl. I managed to toilet train her well, and she's not overly dependent or wanting for treats. I feel tempted to say she's better then her mother."

You definitely can't hear what the response is on the other end of the phone, but whatever it is, it sounded like the equivalent of taking Seabreeze off his hand, whether by giving it back to his father, or something similar.

"Oh no.

I know Seabreeze has been a pain in my ass. She's a troublemaker, and she's needy. But I have to admit, she's a good mother. Even though it took a lot of training, she came to accept Aurora. The two are kind of inseparable. And besides, Aurora looks up to her mom, even though she behaves better than her. I guess I just have fondness for the little rascal that Seabreeze is.

Anyway, I better get going. you called me in the middle of a bathroom break, and I think I left Seabreeze and Aurora alone for too long."

As you finish your business, you walk out of the toilet. You see a man stroking the cyan mane of his GRANPA fluffy, along with her alicorn progeny

"See that didn't take long did it?"
"Yus daddeh. And babbeh played upsies with fwuffy."
"Oh did he? Good girl, Aurora."
"Fanks, daddeh!"
"You two have been good girls. Lets go get some spaghetti!"
“SKETTIS!”

As the man and his two fluffs walk off, you feel a slight happiness as you look at them.

~Pumpiikin~

As you watch Seabreeze and her family walk off, you hear a familiar voice make an unrelated observation in a rather concerned tone, "A one hour difference. Rather anomalous."

It is Mr. Adams.

"Glad to see you made it back safely."
"I'm surprised you didn't land on top of me in the toilet. Then again, maybe it is a good thing that didn't happen."
"Sorry I took so long. I forgot to bring a fluffy I saw back in Japan."

He's carrying a white fluffy in his arms. The fluffy has green mane and tail, with its mane arrange in long pigtails like as though it was hair. Its front and hind legs have been dyed in a shade of black, with the number "01" spray-painted on each front leg. The overall design of the fluffy reminds you of a icon in Japanese culture. ( >>46600 )

Hatsune Miku Vocaloid Fluffy (Artist: Pumpiikin)
"That fluffy looks like Hatsune Miku!"

Sam smiles, as he continues, "Yes. This is a vocaloid fluffy, and yes, its of the Hatsune Miku model. What's interesting about it is that it can be programmed to sing any song rendered in vocaloid. There are limitations though."

He whispers something into the fluffy's ear, then places her down on the foor. The fluffy then sing's a rendition of "World is Mine"

"世界でいちばんおひめさま そういう扱い 心得てよね "

It's a pitch-perfect recreation of Miku's voice. Well almost. You can still hear the unmistakeable presence of the fluffy lisp. But for the most part, the voice matches Miku’s. As you stare flabbergasted at the fluffy, Mr Adams makes a verbal note of things, "I should get a friend of mine to do a toy review of this fluffy."

At the same time, as you notice the large amount of chest fluff, like a Yehdoo, but a lack of puffed cheeks, as well as short legs, you are curious as to what breed of fluffy this was

"Oh this? This is a Pumpiikin. Its a fluffy Hasbio is still producing currently. Speaking of which, I'll tell you more about Pumpiikins, but next time we meet." (>48433 )

"Next time?"

"Next time I'll have to take you to a farm to see more Pumpiikins. But not today. I'm sure you're exhausted."

~

It is about two days later. You had planned to see Mr Adams yesterday but, as Sam predicted, you slept for more than 12 hours upon reaching home. Once again, you can tell why Sam is a bit cautious about relying on Fluffy-induced teleportation.

You are currently in the back of a car with Mr Adams. Usually he would take a limousine, or a private car, but today he is driving his own car and is dressed rather casually

"We're going to a Sugar Crest Farms. They're located South." ( >>46705 )

Cutie Pies Advertisment (Artist: Pumpiikin)
The name seems familiar at first. And then it dawns on you. The fresh aroma of baked pastry sweetened with honey and butter. And within it was delectable meat. You have the fortune of eating one, once. But that fortune turned to misfortune when you came to realize what was inside them

"They run a fluffy meat business! They kill fluffies!"
"They're farmers."
"Still!"
"I get what you mean. But it is still legal to eat fluffies in this country. ABAP has been trying to get the practice prohibited, the way feline and canine meat is prohibited, but Hasbio has been actively pushing for fluffy meat as an alternative to 'natural' meats, as they call it."
"I just don't get why you want to go to a fluffy meat farm, of all places!"

"Well, my friend, it is a farm that is focused primarily on Pumpiikin fluffies. Specifically, the fluffalo."

You then remember that Sam wanted to show you Pumpiikins. But it still begs the question.

"Why not just show me Pumpiikins at the ABAP mart?"
"I could do that - but there is one type of Pumpiikin fluffy that we don't have. Their fluffalo. And there's a greater variety of Pumpiikins at their farm then we have down here.

Also, and you're not going to like this, but, they're our main supplier, and breeder, for Pumpiikin fluffies. Hasbio still produces Pumpiikins, but most of them are sent to this particular farm. I've been wondering what relationship there is between Hasbio and Sugar Crest farms, if any."
CONTINUED HERE: https://www.reddit.com/fluffycommunity/comments/jetmzp/sam_adams_guide_chapter_4_episode_2_pumpiikin_and/
submitted by Oculusfluffy to fluffycommunity [link] [comments]


2020.10.16 08:33 dcvarela [RF] piano man

If you had told the piano man, “in a week life's gonna change for the better,” he would have finished his whiskey and chuckled at the very notion of better. He knew that his show was just about over and that the third act wasn't going to get any better. He had long ago given up on the idea of better for himself. He had seen better, he knew it was real, and hell he even hoped that some people got that better they wanted or needed, but for him hell he was content with the stability that he had. He had his apartment, his car, and his bourbon. He didn't really think he needed anything else other than that. The piano man was content to tickle the ivory and serenade the betties as he’d always done.
And there he sat at the piano on a Sunday in the smoky quiet room playing over the din of relaxed conversation. The room was so abuzz that you'd mistake the sound for silence at times, but he knew if you focused the still room was abuzz with people talking, drinks shaking, and glasses clinking in toast. The piano man knew that if he fiddled with these keys just right he could change the whole feeling of the room. Make the crowd rowdy or lull them to rest. He could make everyone want to take their partners home or just piss them off. But tonight, he just wanted his people to dance, so picking up the keys he played a jig that he knew would get the cute bartender moving, and when she started swinging her hips there was no one that could resist dancing. It’ll go on like that all night, the piano man playing songs to get the people dancing until the late hour demanded a slower and slower tune.
Soon it was just him, and the cute bartender. The piano man had a way with bar maidens, but he never turned his charm on her and he could never really tell you why other than he just hadn't. She was too young and sweet to be prowling around with an old cat like him. As the tune died out and he drained his last whiskey of the night, he shrugged on his coat and donned his hat giving the lovely girl a wink as he made his way out so she could lock up. It was a usual night and a good night, and like on every night that was good and usual he threw a cigarette between his lips and fumbled with his lighter. However unlike every night a smartly dressed woman approached with a lighter. The piano man accepted the light tilting his head toward her and catching a whiff of lavender perfume right before the smell of burning tobacco filled his lungs.
“Hello I’m Tiffany,” she said with a warm voice that knew the taste of bourbon tonight. “Funny thing, I asked the staff what your name was and they all just called you the piano man.”
“Well maybe that's the way I like it.” He replied, flashing his heart melting grin. “What’s a fine number like you asking about a washed up piano man?” He pulled the sweet blue smoke in, and watched the light off the cherry dance of her emerald irisus.
“Well I like the way you play.” She pulled a card out of her purse handing it to him between her middle and index finger. “I’m a talent agent.” He took the card and looked over the details and he took another pull with a slow exhale.
“Well Mrs. Tiffany,” He started.
“It’s Miss.” she interrupted flashing a coy smile of her own. The piano man chuckled as he put the card in his back pocket, and pulled out his pack of strikes offering her the pack.
“Well Miss Tiffany,” he started again as she pulled a smoke from the pack and lit it. “What are you doing scouting out a crusty old lounge singer on this side of town?”
“I was actually just out for a drink,” she said leaning against a wall. “Just happened to stumble into the right place at the right time I suppose.”
“Well lucky me I suppose,” he replied while leaning his back against the same wall. Taking a long pull off his smoke he took some time to remember all the times talent agents came nosing around looking to make his life “better”. He sighed and pulled a flask from his back pocket and offered it to the talent agent. “Do you like ham and cheese sandwiches?” the non sequitur caught Tiffany off guard.
“I’m sorry?” she replied visibly confused.
“There's this diner around the corner,” Piano man continued, and taking a draw from the flask since she hadn't taken the opportunity. “Make these great ham and cheese sandwiches with this thick sweet white sauce and a fried egg. Are you hungry?” The fine woman smiled and nodded her head, so the piano man took her arm and walked them to the diner humming a tune as they walked.
As they walked into the diner the host recognized the piano man, and she guided them to the usual booth he sat in the corner. She stopped to take Tiffany’s drink order, and sent a knowing wink in the piano man's direction. The host returned shortly with their coffees and asked if Tiffany needed cream or sugar, but she shook her head, and the girl left the two to talk things over.
“I’ll take it you come here often,” Said the agent , obviously knowing. “Still have that flask?” the piano man smiled and retrieved the flask, and watched her pour a generous amount into her coffee and he did the same.
“Few times a week,” the piano man replied while sipping the warm brew in the porcelain cup. “It's close to the bar and close to home.”
“A man of routine?”
“More of a man who knows the good things when they are near.” he replied brushing dust off of his hat on the table.
“But what if there was more?” she said eyeing him with a sultry eye. He’d heard this pitch before and knew where it was going. His eyes drifted off at this point toward the kitchen window as she talked. She was talking about opportunities and the illustrious “better”, but he just watched the cooks slinging out bacon and eggs for the late night customers on the restaurant floor.
“Am I boring you?” She asked after a while. He snapped his attention back to the lovely lady across from him. “Look I can tell you've heard the pitch before.” She played with her hair and penetrated him with her eyes.
“I apologize,” he replied, taking another drink of his coffee. “I’ve heard this pitch many times before darling. This same pitch has floated my way a few times with the same promises time and time again. You're gonna tell me about the record deals and the money and the clothes. And coming from your lips, the words will sound like honey, but that all they will be, just words. I don’t blame you for it, and I'm sure you have done good for your clients, but you misunderstand the fundamentals of better for myself.”
“And what would this fundamental i don't understand be?” she asked all ears. She leaned forward as the food arrived at the table. Piano man tucked into his sandwich breaking the egg yolk with a fork and starting into the late night meal.
“You should eat before it gets cold.” He said when she hadn't touched her sandwich yet. She copied him, breaking the egg and mixing it around, and took a bite enjoying the creamy sweet and savory of the dish. He watched her face as it melted into bliss at the taste and she slightly moned in enjoyment. “Good right,” he said and she nodded her head in agreement. “I’ve been coming to this joint since I first started playing piano.” Nostalgia spread across his face ah he first remembered tasting this ham and cheese sandwich.
“How long ago was that?” asked Tiffany, only half paying attention engrossed in her sandwich.
“About twenty five years ago.” He watched her eat while he reminisced about learning chords and finger exercises for the first time. “My first instructor used to bring me here when we would finish practice.”
“Your instructor, who was he?” She asked picking at the last bits on her sandwich.
“Come on I’ll tell you over a nightcap.” He said standing from the table, and affixing his hat.
“What about the check?” she asked, confused as he laid down a ten spot.
“Me and the owners have an arrangement, come on my pad is close by.” He said offering his left arm as they walked from the table, and as they exited the diner he tugged his hat a little while passing the host who blushed a little. “My place is close by.” He said guiding her down the street. As the few cars passed on the sleepy little street he started to hum again, as he again pulled the cigarettes from his pocket and offered her a smoke. She took one and he drew out a white stick for himself as he again fumbled with his lighter, and lit both of their cigarettes at the same time. He smelled her lavender as it stirred something within him.
“So how far is this your place?” she asked, and he couldn't help but notice a blush forming in her cheeks.
“Not far,” he said, opening a glass door to a dark set of stairs on the side of the diner. “After you madam.” he said bowing a little. Tiffany gave the piano man a quick look up and down as she entered the hallway, taking a puff from her smoke, and climbed the stairs. He couldn’t help but notice the pronounced switch in her step. As she approached the top of the stairs she noticed that there was only one door at the top, and piano man snuggled close to her as he unlocked the door into a dark apartment. She stepped through with some scepticism, but was taken aback when he flipped on the light revealing a beautifully appointed apartment.
“Well, you certainly have a beautiful place.” She said, as he took her coat, while taking a drag off of her cigarette.
“Thank you,” he replied as he hung the coat by the door. He then moved to the cabinet in his kitchenette and retrieved two glasses, and prepared a generous pour into each tumbler. “Been living here since I was eighteen.”
“Here?” she replied slightly astonished. “Why have you been here so long.”
“Well it's always been a good deal.” He said, handing her the glass. He killed his cigarette and ashed the butt in an ashtray on the coffee table while setting the bottle by it and sat on an old, but comfortable coach while she did the same opposite him. “My instructor helped me get this place way back when.”
“You still haven’t told me who he is.” she said, propping an elbow on the back of the coach to look at him. He took a long pull and did the same resting his hand by her elbow.
“His name was Carlo.” his smile faltered a little bit remembering the man. “He was a tough New York Italian man, who pushed me to be better. He died of cancer about five years back.” She took a long pull as she listened to him talk, hearing the growing passion in his voice. “He helped me all through my youth, from shaving for my first date to helping me pick out a suit for prom, always giving me little tips and pointers. He even entered me into my first piano competition, without me knowing until we pulled up to the concert hall of course.”
“He sounds great, but what about your parents?” The more she learned about this strange piano man the more confused she became.
“I’ve never met them.” he took another pull as she rested her hand against his forearm. It was soft as satin. “I came up in a foster home, and my instructor was one of the few stable figures in my life until I turned eighteen, and the closest thing to a father I’ve ever had.”
“Have you ever tried to track down your birth parents?” Piano man couldn't help but roll his eyes and laugh at the question that seemed to plague every one who found out he grew up in the system.
“I have not tried to find my birth parents.” he said looking into her crystal blue eyes. “ I always figured they had a reason for giving me out, and I’m going to respect it until life sees otherwise.” She looked at the man sitting across from him and drained her glass. Piano man refiled their glasses. “What about your parents. What was family life like for you?”
“Things were normal I guess.” she looked off toward the one window in the apartment. “Dad worked as a mechanic and was busy all the time. Mom was a music teacher at the high school I went to.”
“So your daddy loves music.” he took a slug of bourbon, and brushed a lock of hair from her face. Her gaze fell back to him.
“He loves Jazz, and my mother wanted to be a jazz musician, but she was never able to break in and became a teacher.”
“Do you play?”
“Not as good as you.”
“Show me,” He said while standing and offering a hand. Taken aback she looked over to the piano in the corner of the room and back at him. A smile creeped onto her face, as she took his hand.
“I haven’t played in ages.” she protested as they moved toward the piano. Setting their drinks down on top of the piano they sat, and the piano man tinkled a few keys, then nudged her to play. She nervously placed her hands on the keys and started to play, as he got the melody the piano man started to improvise rifing off her and keeping time even when she changes speed. Occasionally she would have a misstep and he would give her tips or move her hand getting in close to smell her aroma of lavender, whiskey and cigarettes. He wrapped an arm around her and began to play around her, and as the two got closer the music slower, until the two were cheek on cheek, and sharing the same air. Tiffany stopped playing and reached up a hand to touch his face, and tilted his head toward hers. Their lips touched and they sank into each other.
They woke the next morning still tangled around one another. Tiffany kissed him as the effects of sleep began to wear off. Piano man touched her face and ran his hand up and down her naked form. And they stayed like that for a long time just feeling each other.
“I need coffee.” she eventually said breaking the silence. Piano man laughed as he got out of bed and put on a shirt and shorts. Making his way to the kitchen he put a kettle on the stove and prepared a french press with grounds and two porcelain cups. As the kettle began to whistle Tiffany made her war to the kitchenette bar wearing her underwear and a white tee shirt. He poured the coffee into the french press and let the flask sit. The two sat in comfortable silence as the piano man dropped a pan onto the four burner stove. He made his way over to the fridge and retrieved a packet of bacon and four eggs. As the pan began to smoke he dropped four slices of bacon into the pan and dropped the heat. As the bacon browned he turned to tiffany.
“How do you like your eggs?” he asked as he cracked two eggs into a bowl and started to beat them.
“Scrambled,” she replied saddling up to a bar stool. She watched him crack two more eggs into the bowl, and add cream and salt while still beating until the eggs were frothy and stiff. He removed the bacon and placed them into a cacoo of paper towel and added the egg to the pan directly into the bacon fat. Further lowering the heat of the pan, the piano man grabbed two plates from a cupboard and set them in front of Tiffany placing two pieces of bacon on each plate. As the eggs finished he portioned the egg into the plates as even as possible and nodded to Tiffany to take the plate she wished to have while pouring the coffee into the mugs. He watched her start into her bacon, eggs, and coffee as she again moned over the food in front of her.
“These are some of the best eggs i've ever eaten.” she said, as she watched him pour a shot of lesser bourbon into his cup. Giving him the eye he proceeded to add a shot to her cup.
“Carlo taught me how to cook eggs,” he said, taking a bite of the bacon. “Very french he used to say” taking a pull from his coffee.
“What do you mean french?” she asked, eating the eggs and taking a bite of bacon.
“I honestly have no clue.” he replied, taking a bite of his own plate. The both chuckled as they ate. “Carlo was a funny guy, he always had these little jokes and sayings that lightened the mood.”
“Yeah, let me hear one.” she said taking a drink and playing with her eggs.
“Okay,” he said, taking a drink and trying to remember a good one. “Oh, so there is a plane about to crash. It had four people on board, but only three parachutes. The first guy grabs a pack saying i'm the smartest man in the world, and I need to continue my research. He jumps out of the plane. The next guy just so happens to be the pope, so he grabs a pack and says I need to survive for my flock. He jumps out of the plane. Then it's just the pilot and a kid, so the pilot says to the kid, you're just a kid, and you have your whole life ahead of you, so take the last pack. Then the kid says, We still have two shoots, because the world's smartest man took my backpack.” Tiffanylaughed chocking a bit on her coffee.
“That was a dumb joke,” she said through a smile.
“You still laughed.” he replied, finishing his coffee.
“Well thank you for a good time and the breakfast, but I have to go.” she said standing and placing a peck on his lips. “I have to atleast make an appearance at the office.”
“Going to tell them about your piano man.” he joked following her to the bedroom and watched as she dressed.
“Nah I think i’m going to keep you all to myself.” she smiled, buttoning her blouse. “Besides now I have a new favorite bar, and i'd rather keep it less crowded.”
“So When do I get to see you again?” He asked while massaging his hands.
“When do you want to?” she asked sidling up to him and placing a hand on his chest.
“How about tonight?” He grabbed her hips. “Swing by the bar and get a front row seat to the show.” She smiled and kissed him while moving around him, retrieved her purse and pulled a business card out, placing it on the counter. He watched her leave through the door sending a wink in his direction. Piano man moved over to the counter and picked up the card, tapping it against his finger and smiling while clipping it to the fridge. He did the dishes then sat at his piano and began to play a song letting the music flow out of him.
As he played he pondered the term better again he couldn’t tell if this was indeed better. It was new and interesting, and Tiffany certan was fetching. Time would tell if it was him though, but for now in this moment it was just him and piano tinkling away the day.
submitted by dcvarela to shortstories [link] [comments]


2020.10.12 14:57 Sooperdude24 Naked sugar moms

Word delivery - A lot of much appreciated hard work from u/eruwenn as usual.
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Things were tense on every deck of the Porkchop Express. Alexa sat rigidly in the captain’s chair, Aiov in her lap and Sassie doing her hest beside her to take up as much seat as possible. In her usual seat was Allistan, taking over the role of pilot as they cautiously approached the station in the Krond system where the Righteous Fury sat at dock. All the while, Chae'Sol was checking and updating the calculated escape routes, so that they'd be ready at a moment's notice to jump out of the system. Clustered in a nervous trio by the doorway were Ranjaz, Estrilla, and Jar'Bek. Without anything more pressing to do, they couldn't help but watch with the others, waiting to see if the pirates would undock from the station and attack them as they approached.
Danyd and Jaym were no longer alone in Engineering, as the Awakened Elizabeth had joined them. Ignoring the rules that had once bound the Inorganics, she had immediately integrated with the ship's diagnostics and quickly identified several stress points that were likely to fail in a firefight. She was extremely knowledgeable, and Danyd had recruited her to his side immediately. If things turned out badly, the more capable hands they had, the better. He had also tried to get her to change her attire to something more befitting on-shift duty, and though she consented to losing the bulky dress and wearing overalls, she would not be swayed on the bodice and matching goggles.
Embar shifted where he sat, but his narrowed eyes never left the security console. He furrowed his brow in concentration as he checked the status of the weapons once again. They were powered down, yes, but they would be ready to use at the press of a single button. Nodding in grim satisfaction, he pressed a flashing indicator on his screen and opened a channel to Norrin. "Are you ready?”
Norrin glanced around at the dozen Awakened on board the K7 with him. They were all heavily armed and wearing newly-crafted leather combat clothing for protection. "Strike team is ready," he replied. "Tell Allistan to continue flying smoothly, we are tight in your scan profile.”
The Awakened had been strange shipmates at first, but had quickly defined and refined who they were and, of course, what they wanted to become. Purpose. They had all talked about this burgeoning question the new race was contemplating. Everyone wanted purpose, Embar noted with a grim smile. It had been his own need for a cause, after all, that had brought him this far. He realized he hadn't yet replied to Norrin, and said "Don't act till we give the word.”
Norrin’s voice came in loudly over the comms channel. “I will await your command.”
Sassie suddenly whined, and immediately Alexa’s hand was running over the dog's side. “Good girl,” she soothed. “We’ll get him back soon.”
Embar’s console pinged. "It's the Righteous Fury!" he exclaimed as he turned briefly to Alexa. Then he read the rest of the message. When he spoke again, his tone was different. "They want to talk.”
Alexa leaned forward in her seat. “Put them on.”
The main screen blinked to now show the bridge of the Ashi vessel. Captain Elora'Tan stood at the centre of the familiar scene. “You’re here, finally. Stop dawdling and dock. Jar, bring your friends; I’d like to meet you all face to face. I’ll send instructions.”
Alexa’s blue eyes blazed with icy fury. “Oh, I can’t wait to be in the same room as you.”
Elora’Tan smiled. “Silver hair, angry scowl. You would be Alexa, yes?” She didn’t wait for confirmation. “He warned me about you.” With a wave of her hand, the screen went blank.
“It’s a trap,” Ranjaz blurted out. “We have to go in guns blazing, take them out before they take us out.”
Embar shook his head. “They could have simply shot us down, paid off a few locals and be done with it. I say we meet.”
Alexa spoke, ending the discussion before it began. "I'll hear her out." She stood, putting Aiov down on the seat with one hand and scratching Sassie's head with the other. "Tell Norrin and the others to stay hidden, for now.”
Something in Alexa's tone was disconcerting, and as Embar opened up the comms channel he felt oddly strange interrupting the quiet that had fallen over the bridge. "Norrin, bring the shuttle in close to the station and dock out of sight. We're going to meet.”
Norrin immediately responded. “Understood.”
Alexa and her team walked towards the designated meeting spot, the small bar on the central deck of the station. It had clearly been taken over by the Ashi from the Righteous Fury, and half a dozen of their soldiers stood outside, turning away the regulars. It was still surprising to Alexa that Captain Loring had not asked them to come unarmed. They were only going to be outnumbered. It had been an usual communication, with the Ashi Captain even sending a message to personally select which crew members would be accompanying Alexa.
Ranjaz had immediately taken this statement to be a challenge, and was currently carrying enough weapons and grenades to start a small war. He was also sporting his red and gold war mask and, because he somehow imagined a world in which he would for some reason use all of his energy cells and require a more old-fashioned method of killing, a machete-like sword was strapped to his waist as a last resort
Estrilla followed behind him, sporting only energy pistol sidearms. Embar, at her side, had decided to bring human weapons for shock value. In his hands was his M60, and on his hip was a Rinoxian sized Magnum.
Alexa was unarmed, and when her crewmates had asked why she had simply turned her hand into a blade and back again. Currently, the silver-haired Awakened was not happy, and she turned to Jar'Bek, giving him a sideways look. "Why you? What does she think we need a lawyer for?"
The lawyer double-checked that his energy rifle and pistol were still in place, and swallowed hard as he opened his mouth to answer. "I honestly don't know. Perhaps to mediate?"
“Mediate?” Ranjaz powered up his energy rifle.
Estrilla, trying to defuse the tension in the air, chirped up, “We should hear her out. Even if the delivery has been made, they may have useful information.”
Embar had been watching the guards as they approached, and something in their demeanor didn't sit right with him. They stood there at the doors to the bar, nervous - as was expected - but not as alert as would be the norm. The Rinoxian's team was outnumbered, yes, but the guards should still be more wary. "Something feels off," he said to the rest of them just before they got close enough to be overheard by anyone.
A few paces later, one of the guards at the door gave a friendly, if slightly awkward, wave. "Captain's waiting. Go on in," he said as he opened the door and gestured for them to come inside.
Was he trying to lull them into a false sense of security? Embar was now certain than ever that something was wrong with this situation. "I don't like this," he muttered to the others as quietly as he could.
Alexa felt the strangeness in the air as well. "Just be ready for anything," she replied in a whisper.
The twenty Ashi standing inside the bar fell silent as the crew of the Porkchop Express entered. All eyes then turned to the the large table at the end of the room, where Captain Loring sat with her back to a wall with a vidscreen currently showing an advert for Musicify. The Captain waved her hand, and her crew resumed their chatter.
Alexa leisurely approached, taking the seat opposite the Ashi captain. Jar'Bek took the seat to her left, and Estrilla sat to the right. Neither Ranjaz nor Embar sat, choosing instead to turn around and face the room, weapons ready.
Alexa remained impassive. “We’re here, so talk.”
Loring’s eyes glittered. She was going to take her time and enjoy this moment. “I think first we should have a drink. Relax a little.” She inclined her head towards the pair standing guard. “They can sit down, this isn’t an ambush. I’ll even pay for your drinks. Gesture of goodwill, if you will.”
The Queen of the Awakened tilted her head. “I don’t drink.”
“Ah, yes.” Loring nodded. “But your crew do. Perhaps a tea for the doctor and something without sugar for big, red, and intimidating back there.”
The captain knew more than she should, which sowed a seed of doubt in Alexa’s mind. “Fine. We’ll play along.”
Ranjaz swiftly pulled up a seat, raising his hand to gesture at the bartender. “A bottle of Fae’Dan wine, the Roma’Nee Quon’Tee if you have it. If not, the Anatidae fizz Dom’Per... something or other.” He gave a bright grin to their host as she grimaced at the exorbitantly priced drinks.
Though Embar took a seat at the table, his eyes never left the pirates around the room. One of them, he noticed, nudged another and motioned to the back room. The former general watched the two of them leave the room as drinks arrived at their table and were served in silence. He sipped his - ice water - and observed the two guards returning. One of them looked directly at him, and gave an almost imperceptible nod. He put his glass back on the table. "Enough stalling.”
Loring smiled. “I wasn’t stalling, honestly.” She put her own glass down. “I wanted to meet with you. Get to know you a little.”
Ranjaz pushed his seat back slightly as he set his bottle on the table. “Not you, dumbass.”
Alexa’s stern poker face changed, and a malicious smile now cracked the edge of her mouth. “Now,” she called out.
At once, half the Ashi pirates sprang into action. The other half were attacked, knocked down, and surprisingly quickly disarmed to be held at gunpoint. The bartender also drew an energy pistol, moving to stand behind Loring. The Ashi captain leaned to one side to better observe her crew being tied up. Sitting up straight again with a look of mild amusement on her face, she gave a slow clap. “He did say to be careful.”
Alexa stood and the others followed suit. She leaned over the table, glaring fiercely into the unflinching eyes of the Ashi. “Who?”
Loring leaned back in her seat. “First, how did you get to my men?” It was surprising that she had been betrayed, but the silver-haired girl had money to burn, and money bought the loyalty of some. It still irked her that so many were swayed from her side. “How much did my men’s loyalty cost you?”
“Your men?” Alexa tilted her head to one side. “Not quite.”
The Ashi Captain watched as the traitor pirates all began at once to melt and reform, becoming an oddly dressed group. All had silver hair that matched the one in front of her. “Nice trick. Are my men alive?”
The bartender with the gun pointed at the back of her head spoke, and as Loring glanced at him she saw that he now appeared to be a living chrome statue. “Your men are in the service area. They will recover. We simply disabled them and replaced them as they patrolled.”
Loring raised her chin to look defiantly at Alexa. “Ask your questions.” The punch caught her by surprise, knocking her from her seat onto the ground. She was tough, but had been hit harder. Rubbing her chin, she returned to her seat. “Normally you ask a question first.”
“That was a warning,” Ranjaz replied.
Loring laughed, taking her drink off the table. “A warning?” She drained the glass. Alexa’s hand briefly became a blade before her eyes before returning to the hand that had struck her. “That’s enough. I told you I wanted to talk.”
Estrilla stood and took a small bundle from inside her jacket, rolling it out onto the table. “Oh, you’ll talk. And I’ll make sure it’s the truth.” The dermal spray glinted in her hand.
Loring’s laughter rang out loudly, surprising the others with its warmth. “Oh, by Tulseria’s third breast, was he right. He said you were crazy, he said I shouldn’t underestimate any of you, and by the gods was he right!”
His patience wearing thin, Embar drew his knife and slammed it into the table. “Who is “he”?”
“The blasted human.” Loring continued to chuckle. “If he hadn’t gotten us all so damn drunk I would never have agreed to this. He’s got a cursed tongue, I swear.” She reached over to Ranjaz’s expensive bottle, pouring herself a glass. “We’re on the same side, potentially.” With those words, she finally got what she had been wanting all along: the delightful looks of confusion and doubt that were crossing their faces. “He was right, your faces are worthy of a picture.” She motioned to a camera stuck on the wall behind them. “He said he’d pay extra for that.”
Alexa had a feeling she was about to get very angry. “I swear, if he jumps out of a cake I’m going to stab him.” She sat back down, motioning the others to lower their guns. “Explain. So I know exactly how much to hurt him.”
Loring pulled a small datapad from her pocket. “I’ll let him explain.”
As the Ashi pressed a button, the vid screen on the wall behind her sprang to life and Aaron’s smiling face appeared, huge and grinning. He moved back from the camera, clearly having it propped up on a table, while he sat in frame.
“What’s up guys! I wish I could see the looks on your faces right now!” The human was red-faced and his words were slightly slurred. “Hey! Hey! Elora!”
The captain’s voice came from behind the camera. “What now Cooper?” Aaron beckoned her to him and she swayed onto the screen to sit in his lap. Giggling, she took off her hat and plopped it onto his head
Aaron was pointing at the screen, laughing. “Make sure you record their reaction, it’ll be priceless!”
The Ashi captain gave an embarrassed cough, and the screen paused. "It's not what it looks like," she tried to explain to Alexa. "Really. He challenged us to a drinking competition, and by that I mean him alone against half of my crew.”
Jar’Bek instinctively winced, remembering the first time he had met the human, and the lethal concoction he had been drinking. The Ashi by nature had a low tolerance for alcohol, but compared to the human it was barely existent. “Did he win?”
She shrugged. “Nobody remembers.”
“Play the rest,” Alexa said through gritted teeth.
The video resumed with the captain agreeing to record their reaction. She stood and began to stagger off. Aaron slapped her firmly on the rear, causing her to jump playfully, before returning his attention to the camera. “These Ashi definitely know how to party. Look, we made a disco!” He leaned forward, snatching up the camera. The picture swung violently before showing an area of a presumed mess hall to have been cleared. A crowd of Ashi were dancing as if hypnotised under a swath of bright lights with a silver ball rotating in the centre. The direction of the lights was constantly shifting, matching the beat of the music, and both smoke and bubbles gleamed in the air. “Legendary party! You guys should have been here.” The camera swung back once more to an uncomfortably close shot of Aaron’s face. “Hey, how come Jarby’s so dull?”
Ranjaz laughed and was about to say something when Alexa shot him a fierce look. She crossed her arms. “He is in so much trouble.”
Meanwhile, the camera view stabilized, returning to its previous propped-up position, and Aaron swayed as he sat back in his seat. “Alright, so…” He paused to gather his errant thoughts, remembered his drink and picked it up, taking enthusiastic gulps of its contents. “So…” He seemed to be struggling to remember what was happening. “Oh yeah. Guys! Guess what? I got fucking kidnapped!”
Alexa groaned; Ranjaz sniggered.
Aaron shook his head, then slapped his own face. “Ok. Ok. I remember. I was kidnapped, but they’re totally cool. It was just a job, and like, who can blame them. Stuck out here without a world, they have to do what they can to survive.” He was trying to look serious while slowly swaying and gesturing with his bottle. “Like, fuck the Galactic Federation. These guys have to pirate to survive, and that’s not right. I mean some of them, not the murdering raider guys. These guys-”
An Ashi stumbled into shot and wrapped his arm around Aaron’s shoulder, waving at the camera. “Helloooooooo!” He then released his grip and fell face first to the ground behind the human.
Quickly looking over his shoulder at the unconscious pirate Aaron called back to the camera. “He’s fine. Bunch of them have done that. Good lads. I think that guy is called Ben, or Bob - his mom works on the ship, how cool is that?”
Aaron turned back towards the camera lens and finished his drink. “Look, that Sentinel guy paid them. Fucking Sentinels. Condemn them, and then hire them, it’s a load of bollocks I’m telling you. Making these guys do the dirty work.” His rambling suddenly veered back on course. “Anyway, we have to find the Sentinel to get the weapon. These guys don’t want a war with the Hive either. Only these Sentinel guys do, which is super suspicsh-ish-ishious.” He waved his empty drink around wildly. “They just want a home, and real lives, and shit, it’s so unfair! I’mma help these guys out, ya know.”
Loring wandered back on screen and handed him another drink before sitting down beside him. She looked very upset. “I lost my hat! Now I can’t be Captain!”
Aaron took the hat from his head and put it on the despondent Ashi. “Here, you can have mine.”
Her eyes welled up and she threw her arms around him, planting a kiss directly on his lips. “You’re the best, Cooper!” She stood and turned, walking off screen as she yelled, “I got a new hat, so I’m still captain!” There was a loud drunken cheer.
In the bar room Loring’s head hung low, her cheeks flushing a darker grey.
On the screen Aaron was sampling his new beverage. “Stuff’s weak as ant’s piss, but if you drink a hundred it’ll get the job done. I’ve been to the bathroom a billion times!” His swaying continued as he took another drink. “Anyway, these guys are gonna freeze me. Hand me over to the Sentinel. Then, when I be unfreezed. Defreezed?. Fuck it, I’mma wake up and kick ass and stop their plan. Smart, right?”
Alexa turned away from the screen and looked at Loring. “Please, tell me you did not go along with this.”
The Pirate captain gave a half-hearted shrug. “He is very convincing.” She placed the extra ammo for Aaron’s gun on the table. “He said he lost his gun, but he has a super-duper secret weapon. I was told to give these to you.”
Aaron had picked up the camera once more and it was once again uncomfortably close to his face. “Hey, Jarby. I told them to get you at the meeting, and Embar. I got an idea.” He looked around as if someone would be listening in. “Amnesty! See what you can do, it’s genius. If they get it, they can join us and we can totally half the number of pirates, or something. Fucking genius, I’m telling you. Get Estrilla to help with her Councillor. I’m telling you, million credit idea.” He seemed to look off screen. “Hey, Elora!” He paused and seemed to get a response off screen. “Make sure the Doc comes to watch this.” Another pause as he got his off screen answer. “Ha, yeah. She’s the cute little yellow one.” Having finished talking to Loring off screen, Aaron returned his attention to the camera. “Doc, you should be there now, or will be there. I dunno. This is a great idea, amnesty all the guys who only broke the law a little bit.”
Loring paused the video, having noticed Jar'Bek's mouth hanging open. “You ok Jar?
The lawyer was pale and his eyes wide in horror. He stood and backed away from the table. “He’s insane. I mean, I knew he was insane, but this!”
Embar’s voice was deep and thoughtful. “It’s not that insane. The cost of patrols is a hell of a burden on the Federation. A ten or twenty percent reduction in pirate activity would be seen as a great success.”
Estrilla added, “I mean, we’ll never get pardons for the real scum” -she gave an apologetic look to Loring- “but, drastically cutting their numbers would be worth turning a few blind eyes, politically speaking.”
Loring coughed. “He said the Galactic Federation could claim to be banishing us, something about a land down under which I don’t remember very well.” She looked slightly abashed at her lack of professionalism. “They get to ship off their criminals to be someone else’s problem. We get our pardons and join your new colonies. Any future crimes would still be punishable, of course,” she clarified. “We get a clean start, and they get to blame the human if it goes wrong.”
Jar’Bek was taking deep breaths to keep his thoughts from whirling out of control. “He expects me to negotiate this, doesn’t he?” , he asked, and Loring nodded. “I’d have to deal with the Galactic Council and the Ashi. Oh Tulseria, I’d have to deal with...”
“...your mother,” Loring finished for him. “She’s already been informed.”
Alexa’s voice was calm, tinged with a hint of the anger burning inside her. “That is a future problem. Can we please focus on retrieving my human safely, so that I may kill him slowly.”
Jar’Bek immediately sat backdown upon hearing Alexa's tone, and Loring started the video once again.
Aaron,unpaused, took another long drink. “Ok. So I got like a space hour till I get frozed again. Err.. what else. Oh, we’re putting a tracker on the cryopod, smart. And I lost my phone, if someone didn’t grab it can you radio the guys on the planet to see if they can find it?” He paused, staring blankly for an uncomfortable amount of time. “I think that’s it. Come after me and be ready, but like, wait for my signal.” He reached forward and turned off the camera.
Before anyone could speak Loring held up her hand. “Unfortunately, it’s not over.”
The screen flitted from black to bright white - a ceiling light, that swung down to Aaron’s face. “One more thing. Elora, hold this.” The camera was passed to Loring. “Alexa, I have a question. Do nanites have to recharge after one of those mind fight things?” He stepped back, bringing his dripping wet and almost naked body into view. Across his chest, arms and legs were multiple bruises, some particularly large. “My limits are still on, and I can eat just fine. But, when I was kidnapped I couldn't turn off the limits, and I’m definitely not healing.”
The camera suddenly fell and the screen appeared to be underwater, and as Aaron lifted it clear he was shaking his head. “Stuff is all slippy in here.” He turned the camera, showing the hot tub he was standing in. The camera continued to pan to where Loring sat wearing her hat, sitting in the bubbling water. “And, she is waaay too drunk to work a camera. Ok, I better go. Don’t worry, I think the nanites are probably working, I barely feel any pain. Maybe a low battery or something.” He picked up another drink and drained it. “Ok, time to catch a Sentinel.”
The video ended and Loring began talking immediately. “He said if we edited it you wouldn’t believe it.” She scratched the back of her neck. “It really isn’t what it looks like.”
Alexa stood. “It looks like you and that idiot got drunk, came up with a half-baked plan, and then you handed him over to the Sentinels in a cryopod.” She took a deep breath, or at least performed the action. “Where is he?”
The Ashi captain pushed the datapad across the table. “This follows the tracking device. It’s a low power device that uses outgoing transmissions, so it won’t be detected. But you only get a signal when the ship broadcasts.”
The Rinoxian general let out a long sigh. “And when did they last broadcast?”
Loring looked sheepish again. “A cycle ago. They’re heading towards Hive space.”
Estrilla pulled Alexa’s sleeve, bringing her head lower so they could speak quietly. “Why isn’t he healing?”
Pausing to consider the possibilities, Alexa's concern showed in her voice. “During the fight his core was destroyed. The core nanites control the others. My nanites are constantly being updated with new instructions to maintain my form, to move, even the tiny changes in my skin and hair. Aaron and Sassie’s, well, they were just fulfilling basic functions on repeat so they should, in theory, keep doing that. They aren’t getting new instructions”
“So, he should be fine?” The Kachna sounded hopeful.
“No.” Alexa became more agitated as the pieces of the puzzle started to fall together. “Healing is a reaction to a stimulus, which won’t happen without core nanites to control it. The limiters are much the same - without the signal, they can't switch off. He can't access his full strength.” She groaned loudly. “And that stupid, overconfident jerk is relying on it to surprise the Sentinel.”
Next
submitted by Sooperdude24 to HFY [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 17:53 SkyBruceLee23 Iced

Iced
by
Skyler Woods
Jared could hear people screaming outside the elevator doors. It all started when the power went out. Jared had his 4-year-old daughter, Abigail, on the elevator with him. The young man had to be brave for his little girl. Something terrible was happening. At first, Jared felt lost, until he pulled out his phone and saw the news headlines.
(A woman killed her fiance at a local nightclub. Witnesses say the woman decapitated him with her fingernails and teeth. Authorities shot the woman, killing her. But she came back to life hours later during an autopsy. The medical examiner escaped, but the woman killed his assistant.)
(A woman turned into an albino after consuming an alcoholic beverage. She attacked two pedestrians and was shot down by police, but came back to life a few minutes later.)
(Four women attacked a daycare center after leaving a local bar. Witnesses say the four women had snow-white skin and hair. The daycare’s security guards shot all four women, but now their bodies are missing from the Saint Augustine mortuary.)
(A woman gets attacked by a deformed woman while out jogging. The victim reported that the woman had white skin and hair with black eyes. Doctors found traces of an alcoholic substance on the victim’s neck where the attacker bit her. The victim’s wounds were treated at the Saint Augustine hospital, but her hair and skin turned white as snow a few hours later. The infected victim became irate. She killed a nurse and two doctors before breaking out of the hospital.)
These were the surreal news reports Jared read on his phone. He almost dropped his phone when he read the first news report.
“Daddy, what’s going on?” Abigail’s sweet voice broke her father out of his frightened daze.
Jared unglued his eyes from his phone screen. “I don’t know, Sweetie,” the man spoke to his daughter through a distressed half-whisper. Jared had his daughter in his arms while sitting on the elevator’s floor. It was dark in the elevator, but Jared could still see his daughter’s dollish face and the little sunflowers on her dress.
“Is mommy gonna be okay?” Abigail mumbled. She held her daddy’s hand while laying her head against his chest. The little girl found comfort in listening to her father’s heartbeats.
“Yeah, Baby, your mommy’s gonna be fine,” Jared assured his daughter. He tried to shut out the screaming by focusing on keeping his daughter comforted. “You wanna play Pattycake like we did last night,” Jared whispered excitedly to his daughter. The father did his best to take his daughter’s attention away from the screams. He laughed softly when his daughter nodded her head.
The father and daughter quickly went into their Pattycake game. Jared tried to block out the screams while playing with his daughter. He also tried to block out the unreal news headlines he saw on his phone. Jared felt like he was in a horror movie.
“Can you rap for me, Daddy? Abigail asked. The little girl loved it when her father would rap to her while playing Pattycake. Abigail’s father was an Australian rap star who sold three albums over the last five years. Instead of having a bedtime story read to her, Jared would rap to his daughter after tucking her into bed. Abigail enjoyed the last bedtime story her father told her the night before through his rapping style. The story was about a queen who fell in love with an imprisoned ninja warrior.
“You want Daddy to rap for you?” Jared chuckled. The young man’s whispering and his Aussie accent soothed his daughter. “Pretty baby with the sunshine smile. Brighter than a star with your explosive style. Your eyes like butterflies in the spring. Daddy can’t believe God blessed him with this cute little thing. You make a diamond jealous of your sparkling hair. Your pretty face is like porcelain and your skin is so fair. When you grow up, girls are gonna hate. Their boyfriends are gonna chase your beauty, constantly asking for a date. When you grow up, you’ll find a guy and he better treat you right. If he doesn’t, your Daddy’s gonna hunt him down and beat him in a fight. If you choose to have babies, you’ll be a wonderful mother like your mom, who loves you. She loves you more than anything in the world, and your daddy does too. Like a blooming flower. From a princess to a queen. You’re gonna always be Mommy and Daddy’s little goddess supreme.” Jared watched as his daughter gave him a glowing wide grin of approval. He loved how his little girl would give him the biggest smile every time he’d rap to her. Jared received a kiss on his curly beard from his daughter and he returned the favor, kissing his little girl on the tip of her nose.
Jared wanted to keep playing Pattycake with his daughter, but his phone kept interrupting him. He kissed his daughter again while pulling his phone out. More news headlines blew up Jared’s phone.
(An 11-year-old girl escaped from her house after her mother attempted to kill her. The girl says that she found her mother in the basement naked and eating their dog. The girl also says that she found her father’s body in the bathroom with his throat ripped open. The girl’s mother became deformed after drinking a fruit-flavored beer called Iced. The girl says her mother’s eyes were pitch black. She also reported to authorities that her mother’s body became anorexic and her skin and hair looked like snow.)
(Police arrested the CEO of a Moscow beer manufacturer called Iced for unlawful human experiments. 43-year-old Russian businesswoman, Svetlana Ivanova, was apprehended by authorities this morning after underground laboratories, housing dead bodies, were discovered beneath factories and shipment companies owned by Ivanova. Authorities also found cultic artifacts and documents on black magic inside the laboratories. The factories producing the Iced beer were shut down immediately by authorities and shipments to the U.S. and other countries were terminated. The government has issued a worldwide recall of early Iced shipments to store retailers. Millions of stores across the U.S. and other countries are moving quickly to remove the Iced beer brand off their shelves. Authorities are advising people, especially women, not to consume the Iced beverage if they’ve already purchased it. If you have consumed Iced, report to the nearest hospital for treatment as soon as possible.)
Jared was so distracted by the freakish news reports that he couldn’t feel his daughter’s little fingers touching his nose ring. The young man kept reading one strange news report after another.
(A teenage girl attacked a worker at a grocery store. Witnesses say the girl bit a store employee in the neck before throwing the employee through a window. People evacuated the store when the girl started chasing customers. One witness reported that the girl looked like a Whitewalker from Game of Thrones and that her mouth stretched open abnormally while she was screaming at customers and employees.)
(A 14-year-old boy reported to police that he awoke to see a pale-skinned woman standing in his bedroom. The teenager told police that the woman stood at the foot of his bed with blood covering her blouse and jeans. The teen also told the authorities that the woman pointed at him and said, “the fresh meat of a baby is the best meat.” The teen reported that the woman’s skin and hair had no pigmentation. He said she had the body of a bony elderly woman and that the whites of her eyes were blacker than ink. The boy barely escaped with his life, but he believes the blood he saw on the woman’s clothes was the blood of his father and his older brother.)
Jake had to take his eyes away from his phone for a minute. He had to allow his brain to process the news reports. What unnerved Jake was that he no longer heard the screams coming from the hospital floor’s upper level. It was dead silent outside the elevator.
“Daddy, I think the screaming stopped,” Abigail whispered while still holding her father’s hand.
“Yeah, I don’t hear anything,” Jared said. There was a fearful undertone in Jared’s voice. The young man’s pierced ears tried to detect an ounce of sound from behind the elevator doors, but he received nothing but an unearthly silence. Jared waited to hear something and after three long minutes, he finally heard a sound. The ringing of his phone almost caused him to jump out of his skin.
Even Abigail let out a brief scream when she heard her daddy’s loud ringtone.
“Goddamn,” Jared whispered out forcefully while struggling to answer his phone. The young man breathed deeply when he saw that it was his wife calling him. “Hello, Angela? Baby, are you okay?” Jared waited to hear his wife’s reply, but instead, he was greeted by what sounded like a woman letting out a low growl. The young man snatched his phone away from his ear in horror. “No,” Jared whispered down to his phone before releasing a heartbroken gasp. He brought his phone back up to his ear only to find out that the person on the other end disconnected the call.
“Was that Mommy?” Abigail whispered with her fingers touching her daddy's long dreadlocks. Within a second, her question stirred up tears in her father.
Jared turned away from his daughter, catching a tear with his thumb before it could drip down his nose. “No Sweetie, that wasn’t Mommy. It was a wrong number.” Jared didn’t want to lie to his daughter, but he felt that he had to. He didn’t have the heart to tell his little girl that her mom was a monster. Jared knew what happened to his wife. He heard it on the other end of his phone. That low growl burned deep into Jared’s psyche. The thing he heard on the other end of his phone was no longer his wife. Jared didn’t want to think about that disconcerting low growl that emerged out of his phone. He wanted to hear his wife’s voice again. Desperate to hear his wife’s voice, he played her last voicemail.
(“Hello Sugar, it’s your wife calling to see how your hospital visit is going. I still can’t believe you wanted to visit a guy who bullied you in high school, but whatever. Anyway, I’m so excited about your Grammy nomination for best rap album! I know you didn’t want me to type up your acceptance speech, but I did it anyway. You deserve the Grammy because you’re sweet. I know you’re gonna win. We’re gonna have so much fun at the Grammy after-party. I want you to know that if you don’t win the Grammy, I won’t give a damn, because I already have something more beautiful than a Grammy, and that’s you! I love you babydoll and I want you to tell my little angel that mommy said hi. Tell her that mommy loves her and that she can’t wait to see her later on today. Tonight we’re gonna celebrate your Grammy nomination. For dinner, I’m cooking a special Mediterranean seafood dish that you’re going to love. I also found this new fruit-flavored beer called Iced, which I think will go well with our dinner tonight. They have different flavors. I bought a six-pack of a flavor called Morocco Raspberry. It’s an interesting looking beer and it has zero calories. I’m thinking about tasting one now. I need a beer to help me unwind. Your wife is tired! Sitting in a recording studio all day is hellish, but that’s the life of a music producer. I just left the store and I’m on my way home. I got everything for dinner and I got our new Iced beer. I can’t wait to see you and our little girl. I know you drove your Lamborghini Aventador to the hospital. It would’ve been safer to take the Escalade, but that’s alright. All I got to say is don’t drive too fast on your way back home. I know Abigail loves riding in her daddy’s sports car, but I still don’t think that car is safe for a 4-year-old. Just be careful. I’ll see you and Abigail tonight. Tell your former high school buddy that I said hi. I hope his surgery turned out okay. Gotta go! Goodbye, Sugar!”)
Jared didn’t want his wife’s voicemail to end, but it had to. He tried to gather himself as he gazed at his daughter. The young man smiled at his little girl and he told himself not to shed a single tear in front of her. Jared wanted to be brave for his daughter.
“Are you okay, Daddy?” Abigail kept patting her father’s hand and she could sense a sadness from her daddy, even though he was smiling at her.
“Yeah Honey, I’m fine,” Jared answered his daughter before resting his lips on her forehead. He chuckled a little from feeling his daughter’s fingers tickling his beard. Jared still had his daughter, and he didn’t want to lose her like he lost his wife.
The father and daughter held each other while sitting in the dark. Jared used his daughter’s hair as a pillow while Abigail fidgeted with the gold necklace that decorated her daddy’s neck. The little girl loved being between her father’s arms. She would see her father as a superhero because of his Herculean physique. Sometimes Abigail would study the bulky, rigid muscles in her father’s arms and she would count the tattoos on his skin. Abigail didn’t like the dark, but being in her father’s arms made her forget about the darkness.
After six dreadfully long hours, the power finally came back on and the elevator was moving again. It only took a second for the elevator to reach the hospital’s underground parking garage. The dead silence still followed Jared and his daughter after they left the elevator. Jared carried his daughter while tip-toeing between parked cars. He tried not to imagine running into a pale woman. The building’s power came back online, but it seemed like the underground garage was just as dark as the elevator.
Jared needed to find his car and he kept getting a feeling that someone or something was following them. He tried to ignore the feeling. The young man kept peering over his shoulder every second. Jared didn’t like the dead silence. He preferred to hear screaming so he could hear a sound, and this made him feel guilty. All Jared could hear was his heavy breathing and his daughter’s breathing. He could feel his warm sweat saturating his black muscle shirt. Jared couldn’t believe he was sweating so much. He felt like he had just finished doing a live concert. Jared sweated less when he was on stage in front of his fans.
It took forever, but Jared finally spotted his Lamborghini. The gold-metallic sports car was parked beside a Jeep. Jared pulled his car keys out of his pocket. He was about to make his way toward his car, but he heard a loud click behind his head. Jared knew that sound.
“Daddy?” Abigail whimpered when she saw a wounded man standing behind her father with a gun aimed at his head.
“It’s okay, Baby.” Jared comforted his daughter while keeping his cool. “Take it easy, man,” Jared said as he calmly turned around to confront the gunman. He observed the gunman’s biker thug appearance. “If you want my wallet, you can have it.” Jared pulled his wallet out slowly. He saw the man’s injury and it looked like something took a chunk out of his shoulder.
“I don’t want money! I’m sorry, but I need your car!” The man’s deep voice trembled like an earthquake. He glared at Jared and his truck-sized body was more intimidating than his 9mm handgun.
“I can’t give you my car, man.” Jared knew there’d be trouble after he said that. He covered his daughter’s head when the man brought his gun closer.
“My car won’t start and I need to get out of here to see my daughter. You’re a dad, so you should understand!” The man spoke through gritted teeth. “Give me your car keys! Please don’t make me ask you again!” The man tightened his grip on the handle of his gun. His finger rested on the trigger as he brought his handgun even closer to Jared’s bearded face.
Abigail moaned and whimpered as she looked at the light reflecting off the man’s pistol. The girl’s eyes welled up with tears when she thought the man was going to shoot her father. But within a few seconds, Abigail watched her father do something amazing.
Jared made his move and he knocked the gun out of the man’s hand. The man shoved Jared back and he tried to go for his gun, but he fell on his back from a hard blow to his face.
Jared punched the man while securely holding his daughter with one arm. He used all his strength to knock down a guy who was a little bigger than him. Jared went to pick up the man’s gun. When he turned back around, his heart went into his throat when he saw a pale woman standing over the man. The woman’s skin was pulled back over her bones. Her hair and skin were whiter than milk. The woman’s eyes were darker than her black dress. Jared watched as the bony woman revealed her dingy, pointy teeth before pouncing down on the man, taking a bite out of his throat. He could see a beer bottle in her hand that said Iced. Jared also saw a wedding ring on her finger and a rose tattoo on her hand. When Jared saw the tattoo, he knew the monster was his wife.
The End
submitted by SkyBruceLee23 to TheDarkGathering [link] [comments]


2020.09.13 19:46 doulaami MB setting NK up for an ED?

So, I’ve posted about my NF before, single mom by choice,43 and NK is 14moM. I have several issues with her really warped sense of attachment parenting (as strict as I’ve ever seen on some things, ex. NK literally gets whatever he wants unless it endangers his life and to an extreme extent (doesn’t want a fresh diaper? Gets to go around naked and pee on the carpet. Wants to hit me? Totally can, Don’t tell him no cus she can’t handle him crying) and very lax on other attachment parent “rules” ex. Attachment parenting proponents suggest not using childcare for more than 20h a week before 30 months and I’ve been doing over 30h a week since he was 3mo) anyways, I’m not here for that. I mentioned MB’s age because she is 23 years older than me, and likes me and likes the way I take care of her kid and always says I have been around way more kid’s than her (sister-mom’ed 6 younger siblings) but when it comes down to it, she doesn’t really think I have much knowledge on... much. Anyways, as any toddler does NK has days where he eats more and days where he eats less. He also has preferences some days that don’t always carry over to the next day. MB is really obsessed with him eating a lot of protein and fat (she does keto, and I guess thinks NK should too?). Some days he wants fruit or veggies or pasta or SOMETHING other than meat, cheese, eggs, and like avocado?. I take time to prepare him meals and snacks while I’m there and also prep his dinner for when MB gets home. When she comes home at the end of the day I report how long he napped, when he went down and got up, #of diapers, how much wate thawed breast milk he drank, and how much he ate. A lot of times it will go like “he ate a lot today! He really loved his noodles and meat sauce!” Or sometimes “I prepared... but all he would eat was mashed potatoes” or “he didn’t eat much at meals, but really enjoyed his (insert fruit) for snack” or “he had toast with butter for his morning snack” and she will often get PRETTY upset about it and say something like “again with the carbs! I don’t know what to do with him!” Or “why does he like carbs so much!” And she rarely “allows” him to have fruit because it’s “too much sugar”. She is only proud of him at meal times if he fills his tank with meat, cheese, eggs, or some kind of fat. Anyways I always feel upset and disappointed when she chastises him for eating carbs and fruit. I feel like it will lead to him developing an ED or at least think about food in an unhealthy way. Carbs are an ENTIRE food group, as are fruits. They are part of a balanced healthy diet for any human, let alone a baby. I don’t know if it’s confusion about his nutrition needs ( I doubt it because she has seen a pediatric nutritionist with him... for no reason but her being obsessed with self diagnosing him and subjecting him to unnecessarily medical care and having to find doctors that will go along with it is another topic for another day) or just her wanting her baby to do keto too? Idk, I’m just honestly worried about this kid and his body and his future mental healthy. Thoughts? Am I wrong? How do I say something? How do I get her to think I’m not just a dumb kid on this?
submitted by doulaami to Nanny [link] [comments]


2020.09.05 02:38 CobaltCrusader123 Naked sugar moms

Blue Flame Demon: *deadpan* Boo.
Katie Killjoy: What in the Nine Circles makes you think a single denizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person?! You have no proof that this little experiment even works! You want people to good?! Just... because?! *continues to laugh*
Charlie: Well, we have a patron already, who believes in our cause and he's shown incredible progress!
Katie Killjoy: *feigns shock* Oh? And who might that be?
Charlie: *tries to look smug and confident* Oh, just someone named... Angel Dust!
Tom Trench: The porn star?
Katie Killjoy: *turns to him menacingly* You fucking would, Tom! *turns back to Charlie* In any case, that's not even an accomplishment. I'm sure you could get that hooker to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube *motions doing a handjob*.
Charlie: Oh, I beg to differ! *begins to count on her fingers* He's been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now.
News Staff: *offscreen* Breaking News!
(Killjoy shoves Charlie off her desk.)
Katie Killjoy: We are receiving word that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war! Let's go to the live feed.
(The live feed shows Angel Dust stepping on an Egg Boi and throwing a grenade over at Sir Pentious with visible laughter in the background as Charlie stares at the screen in defeat.)
Charlie: Oh, shit.
Angel Dust (in the background): I'm a bad person!
Katie Killjoy: "Oh, shit" indeed! It looks like the one who just joined the battle is none other than *feigns a gasp* porn actor, Angel Dust! *turns to Charlie as she shakes her fist* What a juicy coincidence! You must feel really stupid right now.
(Killjoy and Trench proceed to laugh at Charlie.)
Killjoy and Trench: *does Jazz hands* Ratings!
Charlie: *stares at the live feed in distress and attempts to block it from the audience's view* Don't look at this!
Katie Killjoy: Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival. *looms over Charlie* Tell us, how does it feel to be a total failure? Nyahahahahahaha!
Charlie: *tries to think of a comeback* Yeah, well... *looks around* How does it feel that I got your pen, huh?! *grabs Killjoy's ball pen* Bitch!
(Everything goes dead silent for a split second as Trench runs off.)
Charlie: *nervously* Ehehe... *puts pen back down* oops.
(Killjoy's demonic form reveals itself as she looms over Charlie from the shadows.)
(Red smoke is seen everywhere.)
Cherri Bomb: Heyyy, thanks for the backup, Angie!
Angel Dust: Hahaha! *throws grenade* You kiddin'? This is the best action I've seen in ages! *puts hands behind his head*
Cherri Bomb: *launching another cherry bomb* Where've you been, anyway? I thought you up and died or some shit.
Angel Dust: *lighting a bomb and handing it to her* Oh, I wish! I've been staying at this crappy hotel on the other side of town. Some broads are lettin' me stay rent-free if I play nice.
(They both cover their heads as the explosion sets off behind them, then grin at each other as they jump into the field.)
Angel Dust: *continues to shoot The Egg Bois alongside Cherri as he sighs* Y'know, no fights, no pranks, no "problematic language"... Her words, not mine. *steps on a broken tile, launching an Egg Boi airborne and shoots him from behind as he sighs again* These crazy bitches are no fun! I've been clean for two weeks!
Cherri Bomb: *in disbelief, smiling* Holy shit!
Angel Dust: *looks at the leftover smudge on his finger* Well, sorta clean. *destroys an incoming Egg Boi* Just clean as you can get from a shitload of Bolivian marching powder! *gets chained and thrown aside by Sir Pentious*
Angel Dust: *jokingly* Ohh~, harder, daddy!
Sir Pentious: *taking it seriously as he gasps* Son?!
(Angel raises an eyebrow as Cherri kicks Sir Pentious to the side.)
Sir Pentious: *hood flares open* Grr! You whores have no classss! In war, The side remembered is the side with the most ssstyle! *adjusts tie*
Cherri Bomb: Or the side that ain't dead! *decapitates an Egg Boi*
Angel Dust: *stands up and removes the chains restricting him* Speakin' a style, is your hat like, alive or something?
Sir Pentious: Oh! Well, that's none of your GOD DAMN BUSSSSINESS! Now, is it?
Angel Dust: Hah, would that make your hat the top and you the bottom?
(A sign that says "Loser" can be seen in the background pointing at Sir Pentious as an Egg Boi acknowledges the roast.)
Egg Boi: *cups hands* Oooooh! *gets pebble thrown at him by Sir Pentious*
Sir Pentious: *enraged* I'm going to blow you to bitssss!
Angel Dust: *eyes him up and down* Hm, kinky!
Sir Pentious: Oh, not like that! *hood flares open as a sign that says "Pussy" can be seen pointing at him in the background* Pervert! *knocks over an Egg Boi*
(An Egg Boi with a gun that releases arm-shaped shadows with eyes aims at Angel and Cherri as Angel quickly shoves Cherri aside.)
Sir Pentious: Not so cocky now, are we?!
Angel Dust: *unamused* Y'know, you really gotta watch what comes outta ya mouth. I've been making these sex jokes the whole *limbs gets pulled on as Sir Pentious reveals a drill which jump starts* TIME! *reveals his third pair of arms carrying a gun* And it's obvious ya ain't catchin' on. I mean, it's just *shoots Sir Pentious offscreen* sad!
Cherri Bomb: So, think you're gonna get in a lotta trouble for this?
Angel Dust: Eh, *retracts his third set of arms* what's one little brawl gonna cause?
(Charlie and Killjoy can be seen duking it out in the news station as the fire alarm goes off in the background with Trench entering the scene, covered in flames.)
Tom Trench: WHY WON'T ANYONE HELP ME?!
Cherri Bomb: Glad you haven't changed! *slugs him on the arm* You know you're my favorite guy to party with!
Angel Dust: You know it, sugar tits!
Cherri Bomb: *takes out one last bomb* You ready to finish this?
Angel Dust: *cocks gun* Born ready, baby!
(Angel and Cherri pounce onto Sir Pentious and his army as they prepare to clash, Charlie and Killjoy are still at each other's throats screaming, Trench is still on fire, screaming in agony. The camera shows all the characters present, screaming as the scene turns silent)
(The Magne Family Limousine can be seen driving back to the hotel. Charlie can be seen hugging her knees and looking out the window when her jacket is ruined after Katie Killjoy attacked her, while Vaggie sits next to her, glaring furiously at Angel Dust.)
Charlie: *sighs*
Vaggie: *eye twitches*
(Angel Dust can be seen amusing himself by playing with the car window button repeatedly.)
Vaggie: *scrunches up her face*
Angel Dust: *taking notice* ...What?
Vaggie: "What?", "WHAT?"?! What were you DOING?! *rips off her hair*
Angel Dust: *sighs* I owed my girl buddy a solid! Isn't that a "redeeming quality"? Helping friends with stuff? *rolls eyes*
Vaggie: Not with turf wars that result in territorial genocide!
Angel Dust: Eh, you win some, you lose a few hundred. Ehahahahahah! *proceeds to play with the car window button* It wasn't that bad, anyway. *almost gets hit with a knife thrown his way* Aw, come on! I had to! *brushes back hair* My credibility was on the line! I mean, what kind of reputation would I have if people found out I was tryna go clean? It just throws out my entire persona! *suggestively wiggles chest floof*
Vaggie: Your credibility? What about the hotel's?! *gestures at Charlie* Your little stunt made us look like a fucking joke! *combusts*
Angel Dust: *scoffs* No, no, no, babe. Jokes are funny! I made you look... uh, sad! *camera pans to Charlie* And pathetic! Like an orphan... with no arms... or legs... Oh! With progeria! *camera focuses back on him* Great! Now I'm bummed thinkin' about it! *starts looking around the limousine* This thing have any liquor?
Vaggie: Can you please just try to take this seriously?
Angel Dust: *flicks off a dust bunny* Fine, I'll try. Just don't get your taco in a twist, baby! *snaps finger at her while smiling*
Vaggie: Was that you trying to be sexist or racist?!
Angel Dust: *groans* Whatever pisses you off more. Is there seriously no liquor in here?!
Vaggie: *returns to sit next to Charlie as she crosses her arms* I'm gonna kill 'em.
Angel Dust: Too late, toots. Wait! Would that make me double dead? Hah, and where exactly do I go? To Double Hell? Hahahaha! Sorry, you're stuck with me, bitch. Get used to it *folds arms confidently*.
Vaggie: *angrily, as she grits her teeth* Come mierda malparido!
Angel Dust: Listen, who cares if some jack-offs got hurt? Most of 'em are ugly freaks. Look around! *looks out the limousine window, smirking* You got a bunch a fuckin' harlequin-looking babies down here!
Vaggie: You're one to talk. *smiles smugly*
Angel Dust: Hey! *motions to his body* This body is flawless! Everyone wants summa me, *jiggles chest fluff and takes out a letter* and I've got the creepy fan letters to prove it!
(Fan letter with a picture of a dirty naked middle-aged man, who ironically has a "No Angel Dust" tattoo, licking an Angel Dust body pillow attached with the message saying "Show me you feet!! -Bryrin, #1 Fan Critic" is shown onscreen.)
Vaggie: Grrr...
Charlie: That was really uncool, y'know, Angel.
Vaggie: "Uncool"? After that train-wreck, there is no way anyone is gonna wanna stay at the hotel! *looks toward Angel Dust* All thanks to *points at him* you and your selfish bullshit!
Angel Dust: Does that mean I don't have a free room anymore?
Vaggie: *motions "What do you think?"*
Angel Dust: *snaps finger* Ah, well shucks.
Charlie: Hey, come on. *takes off ruined jacket* We don't know if things are over yet! Try to relax, Vaggie. *puts a hand on Vaggie's shoulder* I-it'll be okay!
(The limousine arrives at the hotel as the hotel door opens, revealing a very old and dirty establishment.)
Vaggie: *throws herself on the couch, facing the wall* Ugh!
Angel Dust *rummages through the fridge leaning by the wall and grabbing a box of Popsies.*
Angel Dust: Eh, it's probably a good idea to get some actual food in this place. Y'know, to feed all the wayward souls you got in here! Ahahaha! Ahaha...! eh... ah... * he closes the fridge door as he tries to comfort Charlie but decides to back off*
(Charlie exits the hotel and tries to contact her mother.)
Charlie: *sighs* Hey, mom. I know I keep calling and you must be busy... Really busy... But, um, the interview didn't go well, *shrinks to her knees* and... I don't know if I'm ever going to make a difference *starts tearing up as she wipes it off her face*. I don't know what I'm doing. I could really use some advice, mom. I... I think dad was right about me... Ahah, oof, eh, anyway... *wipes her face once more* I'll stop talking before this gets long. *stands up* Love you, bye...
(Charlie walks back in and leans by the door in defeat as a sudden knock can be heard from the other side of the door, surprising Charlie.)
Charlie: *contemplates on whether or not to open the door but decides to open it anyway*
(The mysterious figure watching her performance from before can be seen standing before her.)
Alastor: Hel- *gets door slammed on him*
Charlie: *looks to the side for a brief moment before opening the door again*
Alastor: -lo!
Charlie: *slams door against his face once more* Hey, Vaggie?
Vaggie: *annoyed* Whaaaat?
Charlie: The Radio Demon is at the door!
Vaggie: *sits up* What?!
Angel Dust: *takes out the popsicle from his mouth* Uh... who?
Charlie: What should I do?!
Vaggie: Uh, well, don't let him in!
(Charlie decides to disregard Vaggie's advice once more and opens the door for Alastor.)
Alastor: May I speak now?
Charlie: You may.
Alastor: *reaches hand out* Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart! *pulls Charlie towards him* Quite a pleasure! *lets himself in* Excuse my sudden visit, but I saw your fiasco on a picture show, and I just couldn't resist! What a performance! Why, I haven't been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929! Hahahahaha, *plays with his mic staff* sooo many orphans...
Vaggie: *holds a harpoon towards his chest* Stop right there! Cabrón hijo de perra, I know your game and I'm not gonna let you hurt anyone here, you pompous cheesy *Angel's head pops in* talkshow shitlord!
Alastor: *uses finger to move the harpoon away* Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here... *turns into his demonic form* I would've done so already!
(The screen distorts as Charlie and Vaggie stare at him in fear.)
Alastor: *snaps back to reality* No! I'm here because I want to help!
Charlie: Say what now?
Alastor: *repeats himself* Help! Hahaha, hello? Is this thing on? *taps on his mic* Testing, testing!
Alastor's Mic: *opens its eye* Well I heard you loud and clear!
Charlie: Um, you want to help? With...?
Alastor: *teleports behind the two with his shadow* This ridiculous thing you're trying to do! This hotel! I want to help you run it.
Charlie: Buuut... why?
Alastor: Hahaha, why does anyone do anything? Sheer, absolute boredom! I've lacked inspiration for decades. My work became mundane, lacking focus, *shoves Vaggie offscreen* aimless! I've come to crave a new form of entertainment! Hahaha!
Charlie: Does getting into a fistfight with a reporter count as entertainment...?
Alastor: Hahaha! It's the purest kind, my dear: Reality! True passion! After all, the world is a stage and the stage is a world of entertainment.
Charlie: So does this mean you think it's possible to rehabilitate a demon?
Alastor: Hahahahaha! *shakes hand in front of her* Of course not! That's wacky nonsense! *shakes head back and forth* Redemption, oh the non-existent humanity! No no no no, I don't think there's anything left that could save such loathsome sinners! *looks over to Vaggie who is offended and Angel who just shrugs* The chance given was the life they lived before, the punishment is this! *puts his arms out, gesturing the entirety of Hell* There is no undoing what is done!
Charlie: So then, why do you wanna help me if you don't believe in my cause?
Alastor: Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself! *pulls Charlie close to him and twirls her* I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure!
Charlie: *removes his hand from her back* Riiiight.
Alastor: Yes, indeedy! *grabs her by the waist and drags her offscreen* I see big things coming your way and who better to help you than I? *trails off*
Angel Dust: Uh, so... uh, what's the deal with Smiles over there?
Vaggie: Wait, you've never heard of him before? You've been here longer than me!
Angel Dust: *shrugs*
Vaggie: The Radio Demon. One of the most powerful beings Hell has ever seen?
Angel Dust: *shrugs a second time* Eh, not big on politics.
Vaggie: Ugh! *leans in on Angel Dust as she begins her story* Decades ago, Alastor manifested in Hell,
(Scene changes to a visual presentation of Vaggie's story regarding Alastor.)
Vaggie: seemingly overnight. He began to topple Overlords who have been dominant for centuries. That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his carnage all throughout Hell just so everyone could witness his ability. Sinners started calling him "The Radio Demon" (as lazy as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world's most ancient and destructive evils. But one thing's for sure: He's an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, the likes of which we can't risk getting involved with unless we want to end up erased!
Angel Dust: Ya done? *Laughs dryly* He looks like a strawberry pimp.
Vaggie: Well, I don't trust him!
Angel Dust: To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? Men?
Vaggie: *grabs Charlie by the shoulder* Charlie, listen to me. You can't believe this creep! He isn't just a happy face! He's a deal maker! Pure evil! He can't be redeemed! ...And is most likely looking for a way to destroy everything we're trying to do!
Charlie: I... *sighs* we don't know that! Look, I know he's bad, and I know he probably doesn't wanna change, but the whole point of this is to give people a chance!
(Alastor inspects a portrait of The Magne Family.)
Charlie: To have faith things will be better! How can I turn someone away? I can't. It goes against everything I'm trying to do. Everything I believe in. *puts hands on Vaggie's shoulders* Just... trust me. I can take care of myself!
Vaggie: Charlie, whatever you do, do not make a deal with him!
(Alastor makes a gesture with his hand, seemingly focusing on Vaggie.)
Charlie: Don't worry, I picked up one thing from my dad! *imitating her dad's voice* "You don't take shit from other demons!" *walks off to where Alastor is*
Charlie: Okay, so, Al. You're sketchy as fuck and you clearly see what I'm trying to do here as a joke.
(As Charlie turns away, glowing red symbols start to appear beside Alastor which quickly disappear after Charlie turns back to Alastor.)
Charlie: But I don't. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better. So I'm taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no... *makes gestures with hands* tricks or voodoo strings attached.
(As Alastor rolls his eyes at that last statement, he twirls his mic staff and presents his hand for a handshake as green energy bursts throughout the hotel.)
Alastor: So, it's a deal, then?
Charlie: *refusing his handshake* Nope! No shaking! No deals! I... hmm... As princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I, uh, hereby order that you help with this hotel. For as long as you desire.
(A howling wolf can be heard in the background as Charlie looks over to Vaggie for approval.)
Charlie: Sound fair?
Alastor: *rubs his chin* Hmm... *retracts his mic staff* Fair enough!
Charlie: *sighs in relief* Cool beans.
Alastor: Hmm hm hmm hmm... *hums while looking around as he stops in front of Vaggie*. Smile, my dear! *tickes the underside of her chin* You know you're never fully dressed without one! *Walks away as he continues humming* So where is your hotel staff?
Charlie: Uh, well-
(Camera pans to Vaggie who's staring at Alastor dead in the eyes.)
Alastor: *adjusts monocle* Ohohoho, you're going to need more than that. *walks towards Angel Dust* And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?
Angel Dust: I can suck your dick!
(Sounds of a mic can be heard in the background as Alastor tries to process what he was just offered.)
Alastor: Hah! No.
Angel Dust: *scoffs* Your loss.
Alastor: Well, this just won't do! *takes out his mic staff* I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up.
(At the snap of his finger, a new fireplace has replaced the hotel's worn down one as he approaches it and picks up the mysterious figure covered in soot, which then opens its eye and stares at the trio behind him.)
Niffty: *poofs off the soot from her body*
Alastor: This little darling is Niffty!
Niffty: *drops to the floor* Hi, I'm Niffty! It's nice to meet you! It's been a while since I've made new friends! *eyes the three* Why're you all women? *lifts Charlie* Are there any men here?! *puts Charlie down* I'm sorry, that's rude. *looks around* Oooh man, this place is filthy! It really needs a lady's touch! *grabs a spider and crushes it* Which is weird because you're all ladies, no offense. *stares offscreen as she takes out a feather duster* Oh my gosh, this is awful! *she speed cleans throughout the hotel* Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! *spots a cockroach and stabs it with a pin* Nope!
(The four stare at Niffty as a voice coming from an unknown demon can be heard nearby.)
Husks: *lays his cards down the table* Hah! Read 'em and weep, boys. Full Ho- *demonic illusions and voices distort the surroundings temporarily* -tel? What the fuck is this? *looks around and spots Alastor, eliciting an angry purr as he points at him* You!
Alastor: Ah, Husker, my good friend! Glad you could make it!
Husk: Don't you "Husker" me, you son of a bitch! I was about to win the whole damn pot! *the jackpot dissappears into nothingness*
Alastor: Good to see you too!
Husk: *facepalms angrily* What the hell do you want with me this time...?
Alastor: My friend, I am doing some charity work so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that's okay!
Husk: Are you shittin' me?!
Alastor: Hmm... No, I don't think so!
Husk: *shoves Alastor off* You thought it'd be some kind of big fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere?! *camera pans to Alastor dusting himself off* You think I'm some kind of fucking clown?!
Alastor: *grins as if he's about to laugh* Maybe!
Husk: I ain't doing no fucking charity job.
Alastor: *teleports behind him through his shadow* Well, I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment! *gestures towards the bar he made out of his magic* With your charming smile *pulls Husks's lips into a forced smile* and welcoming energy, this job was made for you! Don't worry my friend, *walks over to the bar, revealing the soles of his shoes to have deer prints* I can make this more welcoming! ...If you wish. *makes a bottle of "Cheap Booze" appear out of nowhere*
Husk: *stares at the booze for a second* What? You think you can buy me with a wink *winks sarcastically* and some cheap booze?! *grabs the booze and looks at it* ...Well, you can! *downs the booze*
Vaggie: Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! No! No bar, no alcohol! This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of mouth, brothel, man cave!
Angel Dust: *disappears offscreen only to come back launching himself onto Vaggie* SHUT UP! SHUT! UP! We *points to the bar with all his fingers* are keeping this!
Angel Dust: *flirting with Husk* Hey~
Husk: Go fuck yourself.
Angel Dust: *holds Husk's face* Only if you watch me!
Charlie: Oh my gosh! Welcome to The Happy Hotel! You are going to love it here! *tries to go for a handshake*
Husk: *reaches for his booze* I lost the ability to love years ago. *continues to down his booze*
Alastor: So, whaddaya think?
Charlie: This is amazing! *rubs her cheeks excitedly*
Vaggie: *with crossed arms* It's... okay.
Alastor: *reels the two towards him* Hahaha! This is going to be very entertaining!
(He then lets go of Vaggie and summons a fireball, launching it to the hotel ceiling just so he could distract Charlie fast enough for him to shove Vaggie offscreen. He dresses himself in a tux and matching top hat.)
Alastor: ♫ You have a dream! *twirls Charlie and dresses her up* You wish to tell! *turns to Vaggie who's now on the floor* And it's just laughable *turns back to Charlie and tosses her mid-air*. But, hey, kid, what the hell? ♫
(The background behind Charlie changes to neon colored lights featuring two apples and a skull.)
Alastor: ♫ *catches Charlie by the hand as they both tap dance* 'Cause you're one-of-a-kind! A charming demon belle! *The two slide down the railing of the stairs* ♫
Alastor: ♫ Now, let's give these burning fools a place to dwell! *dresses up the rest of the hotel staff* Take it, boys! ♫
(Shadow demons appear from the floor boards and begin playing their instruments as Vaggie tries to talk to Charlie who is having too much fun. Alastor pulls her in with him and the others as his shadow demons surround them.)
Shadow Demons: Boo!
Alastor: ♫ Haha! Inside of every demon is a lost cause! *puts a fedora on Angel's head as he snaps his fingers back at Alastor* But we'll dress 'em up for now, with just a smile! *slaps Vaggie's butt* ♫
Shadow Demons: ♫ With a smile! ♫
Alastor: ♫ And we'll chlorinate this cesspool with some old redemption flair! *kicks off skull which Niffty rushes in and cleans off* And show these simpletons some proper class and style! *summons a shadow clone of himself* ♫
Shadow Demons: ♫ Class and style! ♫
Alastor: ♫ *snaps away his shadow* Oh! Here below the ground, *pinches Charlie's cheeks* I'm sure your plan is sound! *holds hands with Charlie as they both twirl* They'll spend a little time, down at this Hazbin Ho-
(The hotel door explodes, knocking Niffty offscreen as Charlie, Alastor, Angel Dust and Vaggie look outside.)
(Sir Pentious' war ship has made an appearance outside the hotel.)
Sir Pentious: Hah! Well, well, well. Look who it is harboring the striped freak! We meet yet again, Alastor!
Alastor: Do I know you?
Sir Pentious: *ego deflates* Oh, yes you do! *Hood flares open* And this time, I have the element of- *pulls a lever* SURPRISE! Ahaha! I'm so evil!
(With a snap of a finger, an otherwordly dimensional portal opens with tentacles and shadow demons emerging from it, destroying Sir Pentious' ship while he is inside. Alastor can then be seen finishing it off as he clenches his fist with a few drops of blood dripping off his hand. Alastor is then shown grinning menacingly in satisfaction for a moment as the others look at him in shock and horror.)
Alastor: *breaking the tension* ...Well, I'm starved! Who wants some Jambalaya? My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for Jambalaya. In fact, it nearly killed her! Hahaha! You could say the kick was right out of Hell! Ohoho, I'm on a roll! Yes, sir! This is the start of some real changes down here! The game is set! Now...
(Alastor uses his magic for the last time in the episode to change the sign atop the hotel from "Happy Hotel" to "Hazbin Hotel".)
Alastor: *sinisterly* ...Stay tuned. Hahaha...!
(Sir Pentious is revealed to have survived the beating served by Alastor along with Egg Boi #23)
Egg Boi #23: Now will you shoot me with your ray gun?
(Sir Pentious collapses of exhaustion as the episode ends.)
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2020.09.02 19:26 marisung Naked sugar moms

This is a long one, get ready...
u/PoisonousKey - I love the swirly writing on the envelope! Frazzled Frannie is so cool. She looks like me during a scary movie when I go “Yup. Not scared. Not scared at all.” Definitely just saw a ghost. I love it!
u/lucilimon - I remember hearing the song at the end credits of wreck it ralph in the movie theater and feeling like I had just eaten 400 pounds of candy. It was such a dancy song! Looking it up and…. It’s when can I see you again. The cartoons are still my favorite end credits ever! They need more cool animated end credits rather than the old boring name, name, name name, blah blah. I love the candy train card. The train face looks unimpressed, like “These darn kids!” and the kids in the caboose like “Wheee!”
u/the0dior - Whoaaa stamp letters! That is so so cool! Thank you so much for the awesome girly stickers! I’m gonna use so many the upcoming mothers day, and for my grandma and aunt too. Tysm!
u/deskhuman - The envelope it came in was super cool! It reminded me of the fence at my old school with the little covering. The teacup card is so cute and so cool!!! I love swirly handles on teacups, and the old drawing on the cup is so awesome. I love your drawings by the pool and holding a donut. Mood! There can only be one family at the pool at a time, and there’s one family that’s always there so it’s rare that I get to go. Plus after months of hibernating, it feels naked to go out in a bathing suit. Happy (still?) Quarantinings!
u/SnailMailMom - This is such a cute postcard! I absolutely love your writing and the postcard is so so pretty! I received the Stationery Shops in Madrid one. It’s a big dream of mine to go to Spain. Maybe one day I’ll see them in person!
u/velocityoflove - I love the blacks and the gold on the Alice Ball postcard. They go so well together! I loooove your writing! The ant immunity joke was so funny. It’s definitely going in my mental book of jokes. Thank you so much!
u/htmljenn- Thank you for the wonderful duck postcard! The mallards are most common around here. Every year or two I find a little bit of poop at the bottom of the pool, and two sneaky little smirking quackers hiding behind the bushes. The haiku is wonderful! I was the kid in the pool that would always go “Watch me do a handstand!” and a flip, and whatever crazy thing. One time I went down to do a handstand and got up to a foot in my face by a distracted little lady.
u/tigerlady13 - Oooh I love the Tokyo postcard! Tokyo Tower reminds me so much of the Eiffel Tower. I stopped in the Tokyo airport for a few hours on my way back from India over winter break. I got so many flavors of Kitkats to share with my friends. On my way there I was surprised to see so many people wearing masks. Now it’s our normal, crazy right? Ty for the beautiful card!
u/OnlyCompletely - This is such a beautiful card! I love how the sparkles and colors highlight certain places of the image. The colors on the store give me a Christmassy vibe. We read Shakespeare in 7th grade. I wasn’t too into it at first, then the story sucked me in and wow.
u/talipally - I love the flower card! It’s just so sweet. Looks like his name would be Jay, and he sticks out of the ground smiling with his leaves out for a hug! I was surprised to see so much writing, and I loved it. I hope you received the card I sent back :) I didn’t want to write so much on a thank you post.
u/sassyliltart - Ooo this is an amazing card! I love all the shadows behind the pumpkins. I used to go to this farm for field trips at school to pick strawberries or take a pumpkin home. There was a pumpkin that looked like it had a smiley face on the butt, so I just had to take it with me! There was a little shop you could go to on the way to the bus. I sneaked over there during bathroom breaks and bought a bag of something macadamia nutty. It was my first time trying it and it was sooo good!
u/sassyliltart (x2) - Thank you for the baby postcard! My mom knows these are pranks now, but she always gives me a “no boys” lecture anyways. When I was younger they had to take out a part of the sidewalk and fill it back up. We got permission to put a hand and a foot on it to leave a mark. They had to take it out and fill it back in again a few years later, but I can still remember that weird feeling between my toes. Just a spontaneous story I got reminded of from the handprint stickers. Thank you for the card!!!
u/dailyandordinary - Thank you for the dog thank you card! There’s a lady at the pet store that always gives extra treats my Lucky in a bag with a bow. The “grrr” sticker is on my laptop, it reminds me of how nice the lady is (and not the growling it intends). Tysm!
u/RunLongandProsper - Thank you for the tree drawing! I love your writing, it reminds me of a wispy cloud. The rose drawing on the envelope is so prettyy!
u/C0wboySquirrel - Philly cards are so cool! I just noticed the human hair and human fingers in the ingredients, that’s a fun dish. I love your writing! One of my teachers are giving one bathroom pass a week, and if we don’t use it then we get extra credit. One kid was obviously holding it in and looked like he was about to blow any second. As soon as the teacher said “Class is over unless you have any questions,” he logged off. I’d like to think he angelically ran to the toilet like he was meeting his soulmate.
u/thealtoclef - Rainbows!!! When I found out you could make rainbows with a sprinkler pointed in the perfect position, I ran around it in circles dancing and slipped on the grass. It was magical, but my mom didn’t think so because she saw the mud on my dress and put her hands on her hips with an angry stare. When my mom read the postcard she looked at me and said “booger sugar? Sugar in your whaaat?” Don’t worry, she hasn’t found out about the toaster yet…
u/anneemo - My parents have always been against tattoos, saying “You’ll regret it later” and “What will happen when they see it at a job interview?” But a piercing? I haven’t even had my ears pierced (yet!). My friend sharpied a heart that said a random guys name inside and used her (amazing) makeup skills to make it look fresh and realistic. I came home overdramatically hiding it, which made it smudge a ton. Then my mom saw it and said “Your arm is dirty.” But prank ruined :(
u/mamagoat_23 - And a black car that matches your blackest soul <> Mulholland Drive <> Just another LA Devotee… Thank goodness we were let out of that car to the P!ATD concert ;) I love the Toledo, Ohio card! Thank you so much!
u/bluedecemberart - This is an absolutely ah-may-zang card! I’m not a handsome man but I love it so so so much! It’s so aesthetic and just so amazing. There’s so much on the card and I just love it!!! Thank you thank you thank you!
u/BKBD2017 - Woaaah so many stamps! I love state ones. The Colorado one is beautiful, I love the state flower. The envelope is so sparkly and cool! That specific blue, I don’t know the name, is such a cool color! I’m planning on painting the door wall that color. I love The Ugly Duckling Gets a Cookie. It’s so amazing and I have so many fond memories of the librarian reading the series to the class! Wow you were such a rebel oooh! I’m glad we don’t have rules like that here, but if we did then there’d be so many suspensions at my school… Thank you for the card!
u/_alltyedup - Thank you for the wonderful card! And hello!!! I love the fall prints! It still feels like summer because of the heat and not having school in person. I wonder how the people that already had online school felt about the weather while staying inside. In elementary we would love love love rainy days! We’d get snacks, word searches, crayons, and they’d play a movie! Bell!
u/amabisca - TYSM for the stamp card! It was such a cool idea! The actual stamp was an image of a soapberry. I never knew that was a thing until now! I really want to try it, but the “exotic” foods that are occasionally at the store is dragon fruit or guavas. That’s why I grow so many guavas here, they’re soo good!
u/pinkpolo - Wow!!! Pennsylvania sounds so amazing! We have this bay super close. I’ve hiked there a ton and did an environmental group project there. It was so fun. We made an elephant and rhino out of foil for the art portion of it, but we had to throw away the rhino because it looked a little… off. A big dream of mine is to have a beautiful garden with lots of flowers and fruits and vegetables. But I’m afraid of any flying, buzzing, stinging animal. Last time I was stung was third grade. Never again.
u/seroxxores - Awwe I love the penguin joke! And the bonus penguin drawing. Soooo cute! TYSM!
u/msmomona - Betsy Ross is so amazing and inspiring. I’ve always loved windows that looked like they were always open on the outside, and brick walls! Brick walls are so pretty! The white wall on the side of the house looks a little wacky, but so does everyones hair in my parents old photos. Thank you for the card!
u/Eggsy-B - Thank you for the card! The card cover looked sooo cool! I’m glad that you brought yourself and others up instead of tearing them down. School is weird socially right now because we can’t private message or talk during zooms (unless you sneak your phone). Never realized how much I’d miss the people I never talked to but silently snuck pencils back and forth when we forgot them.
u/Jennnnnnnnifer - We have a grocery store about a 15-minute walk from school with a ton of snacks. It was my half-birthday (we celebrated our friend’s half-birthdays since a lot of us had summer bdays like me) and I said “I could really go for some Skittles right now.” So my friend said “Bet.” He hopped on his bike and got Skittles in time for class. He didn’t in trouble because I ran up and opened the gate but he was so close to. We told the security guard he had to get something from a family member. Thank you for the Cars postcard! It looks so intense and I looove the colors!
u/ImOkReally - Such a bright and colorful envelope! It was the first one I picked up. The cat sticker on the front is soo cute! It’s an amazing card! I love getting cards that are shaped differently. A little break from the absolutely gorgeous rectangular postcards was super fun. Thank you for the stickers! The fox is on my computer :)
u/kittycurler - Oh noo the security guard caught you! If you got in trouble it would’ve been so bad! Thank you for the birthday card grandma!
u/mareepharos - Woah this is such a wacky and super awesome postcard!!! The cat is so cute, and I looove the colors! I never even thought about cats stretching. It reminds me of a cat doing a little dance, and the old Frisky commercials. I wish we had more commercials with partying cats.
u/mumdot - No way!!! Fossils just lying on the ground? The only “fossils” I’m able to find is the shell of a snail buried deep in the garden. The Canadian Badlands look so cool. So many funky structures!
And another thank you to everyone in RAOC!!!
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