Everyday moms naked

2020.11.27 03:47 tkvsh Everyday moms naked

I went to visit you today. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. I got 30 minutes of alone time, more than I’ve had in weeks. I miss you so much everyday. I talked to your sister and she said your mom can’t even cook this year. My heart breaks for your family all over again. Last Thanksgiving was the first night I ever spent at your house. Remember, I begged you to pick me up from the bar and you drove from your cousins house in Maryland. The second you walked in, I chugged my drink and gave you a look like “can I please get you alone?” And we left there so fast. Didn’t even say goodbye to our friends. I kept saying “ok, we’re not having sex and I’m not sleeping over.” We didn’t have sex but I did sleep over. You heard my snoring for the first time and didn’t mind it. You said it was cute. We cuddled naked and talked and kissed until 4am. In the morning, I was shy. You took me home and texted me immediately. I think I started to fall in love with you then. I felt so peaceful with you. I was always able to block everything out when we were together. I let you comfort me and I did the same for you. I can’t count how many times I cried in your arms or had an anxiety attack and you brought me back to reality. How you’d rub my hair and my back and give me endless kisses. How tight you’d hold me, even in your sleep. I’d get mad at you and then within 15 mins realize I can never be mad at you for too long. I can’t believe they took you away from me. I used to always tell you to slow down when you’re driving, wear your seatbelt, and don’t drive when you drank too much. I thought it’d be a car crash. I didn’t think someone would take your life from you. You had so much left to give me. We had a life to build together. We had demons to fight off together!!! We were supposed to get our happy ending. Then 26 days ago someone just takes it all away from us? What am I supposed to do now? There’s no one here for me the way you were. There’s no one who knows me like you do. I go to work and I feel empty. You’ve never even stepped foot into my office but I think of you everyday since you gave me advice on my interview. You used to be waiting to pick me up at 5pm on the dot, never a minute later. I worked half days at the beginning of the pandemic and we were so happy cause it meant more time for us. I got to class and I think of you. I can barely log onto the zoom cause I get wrapped up in reading our old messages. I did this program so I can start my career. So I can tell my mom by March that I was ready to get married. And you were doing your program for the same thing. So we could start our life together, for real. I wish we went to the courthouse in Richmond like we’d planned in May. Maybe all that would’ve saved us. Maybe one thing could’ve changed our outcome. I’m not sure. I’m rambling now. This would’ve been our first official Thanksgiving together. I’ve already met your family but we would’ve been together. It would’ve been real. But I’m happy for the 1+ year of time I had with you. Our one year kissaversary is 10/27 and you left me on 11/1. Everyday I spent with you was amazing, whether or not we were fighting. I look back now and I can barely remember what we argued about. It never had substance. Cause we were so in love with each other. We’d forgive each other for anything. I love you more than I can say. My heart aches for you. I want you back. If I go now, I’d be okay cause at least I get to be with you. I love you so much baby. Rest now. I’ll see you one day.
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2020.11.25 15:40 Dadaizm Everyday moms naked

Once upon a time I was convinced that trivial explanations about "dream telepathy" phenomena made perfect sense. You know: dreaming about outcome of your subconsiuss processes, when your brain combined all these little signs you haven't concioussly noticed and gave you extraordinary result - dream about situation that logically could happen, and did happened at the next day.
Some of my dreams were about informations my closest ones would told me later.
My friend said it's only extraordinary because of the codes I share with my closest ones, the codes of love. Though the thought of being able with my five senses to "encode" such a detailed, precise information only from someone's gestures or smell is strange in it's own rights.
I believed in this explanation, till I've found in my dream something about my boyfriend's brother, who live far away from here.
So my post would be probably long, sorry about that, but these examples are essential. I don't reject all explanations I've mentioned, I think they can be relevant in some situations, but in the others... they are not. I sympathize with scientific method, that's why I feel a little bit uncomfortable, that I can not find a rational answers.
So, are here any open-minded scientists, that would explain this to me? (Others answers of course are also very much welcome).

  1. The Moon Dream - me and my Mom had this everyday ritual, which was walking with our dog. I lived in the post-industrial area, where old fabrics ruins and railroad tracks mixed with wild nature. One day I have to stay at home. It was nice, early evening, but I had to concentrate on different things. Because I lived in a place, where the major part of the sky was hidden by the buildings, I coudn't see what was on the sky...
This night I had a most beautiful dream. A vision rather:
I was looking at a full moon in the color of a honey on the unusual, pink background, the color on which normally you would expect the sun to see. The landscape under the moon was a little bit foggy, there were mostly young, naked brich trees in brownish-violet aura of their branches. I start to walk along an old fabric, and I was so sorry I forgot to take camera, so my Mom woudn't see it...
Another day I was riding in the car with my Mom and told her that dream. She was totally astonished. She saw all the things I describe - the moon on the sunny-color sky and every details of the landscape. In the same place she was sorry that I wasn't there to see this moon. Moreover, she forgot to take the camera. She said she hadn't told me earlier about this, because she'd knew I would be dissapointed I wasn't there and didn't see these things.
  1. Croat And An Earing - I had a dream about Croat with many earings, that was standing by the door of the lecture hall and didn't want to pass some guy inside. When I awakened I asked myself what is it about with this guy and earings? I hadn't thought about Croatia since my colleagues summer trip, nor I know any Croats.
Then when I was eating breakfast my boyfriend came home from morning lectures. He wanted to tell me, how conservative was his professor - he didn't want to let through the door some guy, that was a Croat!, on his lecture. Reason? The earings! This Croat was a progressive type and had many earings on his face.
  1. Caretta Turtles - there they were, beautiful, huge turtles, one after another, flying among the clouds on their wings. That was my dream. BUT. It was also a surrealistic picture my Dad sent me early in the morning. He knows I like surrealism and sent me this photomanipulation of big Caretta turtles flying on their wings, one after another, on the sky. He sent me this probably in similar time I was dreaming it, early in the morning. I was pretty suprised when I checked my email!

  1. Man With Dog Head - so my boyfriend wanted to show me some political mem so much and I wasn't interested, rather I was irritated, so he didn't show me it. That night I was dreaming about adopting bulldog with man head. When I told about it to my boyfriend, he showed what he wanted to show in the previous evening - it was a dog with a head of one politician (not a bulldog, though!).

  1. Our Eyes Are The Same - I had a dream that I gave my eyes to my boyfriend, because he couldn't see something I did. The same night he was dreaming he recieved my eyes and was looking with them.

  1. Sad Dream - there was one guy in my old neibourhood that had a white terrier. I hadn't thought about him normally, I hadn't even met him very often. Whole months I hadn't given him one thought. Until one night I dreamed about him all in tears. He was a little bit angry also, like dissapointed in me. I ask him, why do you cry? He only took his dog in his hands and walk away, saying, that they won't come back.
I was so sad after this dream and so anxious... When I visited my Mom I asked her about this guy with westie, how he's going on. She was confused and very sad. She just found out, he passad away because of cancer two weeks ago. And his dog died in the same time, because of cancer, too.

  1. 200 - I had a dream about my brother giving me money. Two hundreds, precisely. When I woke up, I thought it's something odd with this dream, the feeling like if it wasn't my dream. I've never borrowed money from my brother, nor haven't I lend money very often, maybe twice in my life. But the day I have this dream my new neihbour came to me, to borrow from me two hundreds.

  1. I Hate Dreams About Teeth - the most scary dreams. Thankfully, I've had them very seldom. But when I had, something bad happened with someone's health every single time. Once when I had it, my Grandpa died. Last time when I had this dream, I was so out of balance, my boyfriend had to tell me many times, "it's only a dream. Nothing bad will happen to anyone". Unfortunately, two days later his brother called to tell us, that he's just been diagnosed with skin cancer.
Thank you so much for reading my post. I shared some really personal stuff with you... I hope you have some rational explanations of these "telepathy" or something. Cause after the last dream (about my boyfriend's brother disease, cause he lives far from us and I dream about him day before he was diagnosed I think) neither subconsiouss perceptiveness, nor oxytocin overload and "codes of love" can explain me all of these. When I was a child, I had dreams in the morning mainly about books I read few years later and deja-vu like experiences, when I recognised a places from dreams. I've thought it was some schizotypal stuff that many teenagers have.
This post was long enough...
Sorry for grammar mistakes, I'm not native English speaker.
Thanks in advance for your thoughts.
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2020.11.23 23:49 FrostCA11 Naked everyday moms

I’m (26F) my mom(55F) is terminally ill she has stage 4 lung cancer. My stepdad is abusive to my mom I’m tired of it. He’s gotten so bad and I can’t keep my promises to my mom who despite his abuse won’t leave. My stepdad has been abusive since I was a child we walked on eggshells around him. When I had my son he did make a 360 and changed but turned back to a abusive jerk. When my mom beat brain cancer in August he treated her like a Queen now he’s back to his old ways regardless of her pain. I don’t want to go to NSFW but it’s needed to show you all what’s happening. So he takes her check she don’t even know how much she makes. He puts her down all the time because she drinks everyday but that’s cause of depression. Once he actually laid on top of her naked, She only has a half a lung and copd. My sister had to yank him off and they went to the back porch to hide in the cold. My stepdad proceeds to go out the porch and try to force his penis in her mouth right in front of my sister. He laughed at her today cause she could barely walk. Once she had to sleep on the sofa without her oxygen. He’s always been abusive when I was young he would call me halfbreed and another names. He’s racist and prejudice and we had a whole schedule to follow or we could be in some crap! Recently my aunt Betty saw him take 200 out of her purse, I’m so tired of it. She also has accidents and he apparently get mean to her. She accident made some bread spoil and she was terrified she had to lie. I can’t keep allowing this my mom doesn’t have long. She can’t eat she has accidents and falls she lost her left hand movement from surgery. This isn’t right and I gotta stop it but if my mom doesn’t leave than I won’t be allowed at the house. I can’t bring my son up there if he keeps doing this, She needs to leave before it’s to late. I’ve never called 911 for something like this I just need advice. My mom doesn’t deserve this this is her 4th and last battle with cancer...
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2020.11.23 12:45 magictruelove Everyday moms naked

Every minute can't go fast have me in arms every minute I can't wait till the day you know why I hold on my heart so tight for you take my hand keep my heart save with you. Never stop being you with me. Every minute every goose by makes me wonder you might be with me. I want be your lucky star I keep your happiness with me be bright. I can't say I love you I like get know you more everyday I like you that's true I like be the one makes you happy I will do my best to cheer you up. I hope in time we will love each other. I hope I will always stay by your side.I am a addicted to taking naked pictures of myself my mom doesn't want me to do it no more I make my family shame of me because of my nudity. I stopped because it not me I only did it to please anthers not myself I made myself shame of those pictures that I took it wasn't right of me to take way of my Pride myself steam. I did for the sweet words do not last. My Beauty is inside me. I love you so much tears are in my eyes I let you go long ago you be better without me you always be the king to the kingdom that is my heart. My love for you never left me ever since the day I let you go. You never know the truth you shut the love door behind me when I said goodbye to you. Its ok I am not trying get you back this time because I know you doing good without me so I am letting be. You will see why you're love for me will come back to you in time you can't stop it you can't hided it you will see when look at me
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2020.11.21 11:57 Doroaddu Naked everyday moms

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2020.11.21 02:45 Kennicole16 Everyday moms naked

(A bit long but apart of my story):
Although recovery has given me a second chance at life, it does not absolve all of my problems; and it certainly doesn’t excuse all of the shit I already fucked up. Giving up alcohol was the most mentally exhausting, exhilarating, and rewarding experience I’ve ever signed onto. I drank every day, so I work on my recovery every day.
The first and most important step in recovery is coming to terms with your struggle, or as Alcoholics Anonymous says “Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable”. However, I will add that I’m not an AA-er, and the word powerless never sat well with me. I never felt like I had any power in my life, even before my addiction, so how could I lose something I never had?
Achieving a Sober State of Mind:
Annie Grace explains in “This Naked Mind” that our conscious and unconscious must come together in order to overcome your struggles. Your unconscious mind is the voice that convinces you, “You’re more fun when you drink” and “Alcohol relieves your anxiety and allows you to let loose.” While your conscious mind is with you when you’re hungover saying you’re “never going to drink again.”
In many ways, to be able to start your sobriety your conscious thoughts need to be the stronger of the two. Even when your conscious mind starts to take control- and has taken the wheel- recovery is still real work. It took me eight months to get sober, from the moment I verbalized my desire to cut down (Cause let’s be honest, I still kept telling myself I could moderate). My conscious mind was starting to overpower my unconscious, but when my Mom suggested that a year would be a good amount of time to start with- I nearly shit myself because that thought was very daunting. My conscious and unconscious mind were still battling it out for the better half of the year.
This Naked Mind absolutely blew it out of the park for me. I was already sober when I picked up the book, but I had no idea all of the unconscious thinking that went into my drinking.
You can’t take something away without putting something else in its place:
A friend recently asked me how I stopped drinking, but told me not to list “the basics” like yoga, meditation, and working out- which I think is pretty comical considering I didn’t add these practices into my routine until this week. Sobriety can be boring, if you refuse to make it worthwhile. Your new lifestyle is vastly different than what you’re used to. It’s important to adopt new hobbies or even better, go back to what you used to enjoy as a kid. You will no longer be spending hours of your week glued to the couch or wasting money at a bar. Use that extra time (and money) to enjoy your newfound freedom.
I have started painting again, and I’ve taken a new interest in writing. I’m trying to add yoga into my morning routine before work to set my day off even better. I have laid out my schedule to allow for time to myself each day. I’ve even enjoyed a handful of Saturday evenings by myself, some alcohol free wine, and a bubble bath.
There is no one way to “do recovery correctly”. Each person will have their own routine and toolbox to help them stay sober- it’s up to them to decide what that is. If you don’t want to do yoga, meditate or take bubble baths, I promise there are a million other things available to fill your time- Drinking is not one of them.
You alone can do this, however you cannot do this alone:
Community. Community. Community. Like I said, I don’t attend AA meetings. I tried out some but it’s not something that works for me- it’s the message, not the people. However, I still need community and support from other sober people. Instagram is great for this, honestly. I follow sober pages like; @sobergirlsociety, @retiredpartygirl, @sober_affirmations, @sober_otter and more. These pages allow me to connect with sober and sober-curious people, some of whom I’ve been able to meet with and really get to know.
Luckily for me, everyone in my life seems to be on board with my sobriety. However, some people aren’t always this lucky. It’s common in sobriety to lose some friends, moreso those you only drink with. Your true friends, however, will be supportive. Be weary of those in your life who seem offended at your recovery. I’ve been seeing a therapist for almost ten years now. You can bet your ass we’re digging into my addiction and recovery. She has been my rock for the last decade, and I could not be luckier to have her. Therapy is my favorite form of self care, and I think everyone deserves a good therapist. It could change your life.
The Journey seems to be easier when you’re educated on the truth about alcohol:
I’ll be transparent and let y’all know I haven’t willingly read a book in my adult life. It’s bizarre for me to say I’m onto my fourth book in the two months I’ve decided to read more. I’ve never been so interested in reading until discovering Quit Lit- books that are based around addiction, sobriety, and recovery. I would like to show credit to Annie Grace, Holly Whitaker, Lynn Matti and Angela Pugh for sharing their knowledge on addiction and recovery- I have them to thank for fueling my motivation.
It is far simpler to stick to your decision to not drink after you’ve learned that: Alcohol makes your depression and anxiety worse, alcohol is ethanol (what we use to fill our cars) smothered with sugar to mask the taste of literal poison, drinking alcohol increases my risk of breast cancer by 15%, digesting alcohol has devastating (worse than consuming it) effects to your liver, you’re 39% more likely to have a stroke, alcohol is more dangerous than crack (cocaine) and heroin, and as a result of all the damage alcohol has ensued on your body- you’re life expectancy is reduced by 10–12 years.
The Pink Cloud:
You don’t have to white knuckle it everyday of sobriety to stay on track- in fact, you’ll prefer it if you don’t. For me, navigating recovery has been the most rewarding experience. I finally feel (somewhat) in control of my life, and I feel power that I have never felt before. The Pink Cloud is the natural high you feel from being newly sober. Think the honeymoon stage of a new relationship- things are new and exciting; I’m eager to learn more about my addiction and my overall mental health. The Pink Cloud though, is not felt through all of sobriety- it can last for weeks or months, it honestly just depends on the person. I suppose I’ll continue to update once this magical cloud has dissipated, but for now I relish in these moments.
submitted by Kennicole16 to Sober [link] [comments]


2020.11.12 00:17 Nanothefox Everyday moms naked

Hi there!
I've already asked a friend of mine about this but i would like to hear about others people opinions as well.
So, i'm a french 20 yo a ftm transgender and ive been out to some friends and one of my two brothers (who accepted me and didnt judge me and all). Thing is, everyday, im experiencing intense anxiety and sometimes depressed days cuz i keep getting called by my deadname and i cant fully come out at my school for example without my parents knowing.
My parents are still paying for my school (which is kind of the same thing as college in america) and renting the appartment im living in. The reason i cant come out to my parents is mostly because of my mom. She became more and more religious over the years, to the point where she became really homophobic for example and will keep praying all day (shes a muslim and im an atheist). As for my dad, he will probably not fully agree but wont do much
I'm a bit scared to come out cause for example, last july, my mom kicked me out of my house because i didnt give her enough attention when she received an operation. (I had to get some backup from my brothers to get back home since i was...half naked in the street yeah)
To be honest, i'm not really sure how she could react to that. I mean, she's super religious and homophobic but keeps watching greys anatomy (which has lesbian characters) and she indeed love these characters. I'm just wondering how she could react to one of her kids being non cis and non het.
I've been thinkin that maybe i could try to test the ground by asking her why she likes greys anatomy if theres lgbt persons in it. But it wont change the fact that i wont exactly know how she could react to one of her kid being in that case.
If i dont come come out now, ill have to wait at least 3y before i could finally start my transition. It's not...a lot but my mental health has been going south so quickly these last months, mostly because of that. And i just want to feel happy for once, without the anxiety to top it
What are your thoughts on that? Should i dait? What kind of questions could i ask to test the grounds ?
Thank you in advance, and i will answer any questions if theres some
submitted by Nanothefox to TransAdvice [link] [comments]


2020.11.08 06:14 testvenom Moms everyday naked

The Whitewater Pact
The Whitewater Pact is a new game idea in the NITW universe about the tale of five teenagers in 1987 wanting to leave their dreaded hometown. Taking place within the Night in the Woods universe, it also is a story driven 2D platformer. You may have seen this post before, but this is a largely updated version. This post is a rundown of the story, gameplay, and all around summary of what the game would be. Join thewhitewaterpact to support this idea! Without further ado, this is The Whitewater Pact.
The deeper water gets, the darker it becomes.
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The game opens up like NITW did; small white text choices upon a black screen. The text is perceived as an interview, with you being the interviewer. You get different choices of text to choose from, but it all wraps around to the same point and same received information. Summarized, the text is along the lines of:
Well then, what do you think happened?
Ah, what an easy question.
Then why have you waited so long to speak on it?
...I wanted to wait. ...Wait until I was nearly dead.
And with that, the game begins.
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The story takes place in Whitewater, Washington, a fictional small town along the gloomy coast of Washington State, heavily inspired by the Pacific Northwest. The year is 1987, now stated as such. The game follows a mouse named Eric and four other playable protagonistic characters, all seniors in high school. They are: Eric, who is a mouse, (as previously stated), Brad, who is a crocodile, Kim, who is a cat, Scott, who is a goat, and Angela, who is a bird. They each represent an 80s teenage stereotypical archetype, of which are: The loser, the jock, the popular girl, the nerd, and the class president, respectively. (Eric is the loser, Brad is the jock, and so on). They all live in different parts of town and all come from different walks of life, whether it is wealth, having a good family, etc.
The first thing you do in the game, after the opening interview sequence, is that you wake up to the sound of an alarm clock going off. The screen turns from black to a closeup shot of the clock reading 7:30 and a controllable arm, (like when you open windows or grab things in NITW). You reach over and turn off the alarm, which then cuts to a shot of what is now revealed to be Eric, the main protagonist, in bed. The first thing you do is get ready and walk to school, all while making observations with button prompts just like NITW. In his house, which is immediately prevalent to not be in a nice condition, there is Eric’s dog sleeping in his room, his dad seemingly hungover on a couch in front of a staticky television, among other things. It’s a short walk to school and doesn’t take long at all. Before you reach school though, aptly named Whitewater High School, their mascot being the Night Knights, you take out a schedule paper, revealing it is the first day of the second semester. He has four periods in his school day, with a lunch period split between them. His last class of the day is Psychology, one of the senior-required courses you have to take in order to graduate, as explained by comments made by Eric when you look at the paper. You go to your first class and sit down. Once you do, the day starts over again, this time as Brad. You get ready with him, then walk his route to school, go to his first class, then so on and so forth with the rest of the playable characters. None of the routes to school are very long, so it doesn’t take too much time to complete all of this, with all of them being unique as well. You also check all of their schedules, and sure enough, they all have Psychology as their last class of the day.
Without an immediate transition into topics, the initial plot is this: Eric, Brad, Kim, Scott, and Angela, the playable characters, are all 4.0 grade point average (GPA) students in high school. (Quickly, for foreigners, having a 4.0 GPA is a perfect, overall grade from over the course of your schooling — meaning you have gotten an “A” in every class you have ever taken in high school, a fairly difficult accomplishment). There has been a special awarded raffle held before the school year by the state government, where three school districts were selected at random. The prize is that all of the 4.0 GPA senior students of those three lucky selected schools will be awarded a full-ride scholarship to a university, of course only if they manage to still graduate with a 4.0. As mentioned, our main characters all have a 4.0 grade going into the second semester, the final stretch of their schooling career. They’ve made it this far with a perfect grade, one final semester would be nothing to them. The scholarships are all seemingly within their grasps, the surefire ticket out of their town, something they’ve all been dreaming of doing, for reasons I will go over in a bit. They are all aware of this whole raffle thing and have been excited about it for quite some time now. But, during the first day of their new Psychology class, which, again, is required for graduation, the professor, named Mr. Herringbone, announces that he will only be giving out one “A” grade in the class. And if no student were to earn an A, the next highest grade would be automatically bumped to an A grade. (For example, if the highest grade manually earned was just a B-, that would be rounded to an A. Also meaning, if there were two students, and one had a 98% “A” and the other had a 99% “A”, both still A grades, the one with the highest percent would receive it, while the other is automatically rounded down to an A-). This means, for the 4.0 students, only one of them will have the chance to walk out of the class with a 4.0, leaving the others with, at maximum, a GPA of 3.9, losing eligibility for the scholarship. Along with this, Mr. Herringbone says he will enact a strict policy of no make-ups, no redos, or anything of the sort for any of the work, homework, or tests for the class. The news of this, while stirring the rest of the class just a small bit, absolutely shocks and devastates the five of our main characters. They can’t believe what they’ve just heard, reacting somewhat internally, holding in their composure. And this is where the game truly starts to take off.
Luckily for them, Psychology is really the only difficult class they have, as they knew they wanted an easy last semester, signing up for elective classes like P.E., Art, Culinary, Politics, Teacher’s Assistant, etc., though 4th period Psychology was the only option they had to take that class, again, having to take it for graduation requirement. Some of them also do share classes together. The teachers of those other classes are aware of the scholarships on the line for the 4.0 students, thus cutting them slack and more or less giving them an A as long as they show up to class and participate at the very least.
After finding out who else has a 4.0 in the class, the five of them begin to deliberately sabotage each other, in hopes of lowering each other’s grades, with Psychology seemingly to be the only class they can use to do that. Their hope is to maintain the highest grade possible and get the A, and thus, the scholarship. Through this, you learn about their lives and who they are and the backstories they have. Eric is the most focused on and is primarily the character you play as, though you do play as the rest in other sequences, sabotages, missions, and more. You also never play as a different character when Eric is directly involved in something. You can build up trust and relationships between the characters, all depending on the choices you make; the story is essentially in your hands to craft it, driving it in one way or another, eventually leading to the ending, which I will touch on in a bit.
Before we get into characters, this is what the bulk of the gameplay is and what the plot mostly revolves around.
At first, the sabotages start out soft; pretty harmless and even somewhat comical, pretty much just pranks or practical jokes. For the larger ones, they work out like how the “hangouts” did in NITW, though sabotages most certainly do not replace hangouts, there is plenty of side content and story to do, which, again, I will touch on in a bit. These sabotages/missions also involve features/mechanics from NITW like the closeup hand mechanic of grabbing and throwing things, (like when Mae throws the pierogies into Gregg’s mouth or when she opens a window), and also exploration around the town and school. They start out by doing petty things like stealing notes, and somewhat more severe, yet still relatively harmless and comical, things like pouring laxatives into one’s water bottle in their 3rd Period P.E. class, so they are stuck in the restroom and are late for Psychology.
To further explain that specific example though, it would pan out like this: Scott and Brad share a 3rd Period P.E. class together, with Brad having the idea to pour the laxatives into Scott’s bottle so he will be late to Psychology. You play as either of the two throughout the class, including a fun mini game of the activity they were doing that day, like dodgeball for example. Afterwards though, in the locker room, while Scott isn’t looking, you play as Brad and pour the laxatives into his bottle, right before he takes a huge swig. The bell then rings and everyone is dismissed. It then cuts to you playing as Eric in the hallways, walking to class. All of a sudden though, you see Scott dash into the restroom frantically, with Brad then passing by, laughing. Eric goes into the restroom and hears Scott and realizes what probably happened, of course with you as the player knowing for certain what just happened. Scott then notices your feet outside the stall, saying, “Eric is that you?! Please help! Do something!” You have the choice to respond back to him or to stay silent and run back out to the hall. Knowing that Scott isn’t going to recover in time for class, you then have a choice as Eric to either help out Scott by pulling the fire alarm, a suggestion by Scott, so he has time to get back to class, or do nothing, figuring that it might be for the better in hopes his grade will lower and give you more of a chance to get the A. And on the surface, the latter choice definitely may seem like a better option, but building trust and relationships with the other characters is still very, very important, as it puts one less target on your back. There’s always two sides to every choice; one that will divide you from someone else, while one strengthens your bond with another, an important dynamic that plays out throughout the game. Everything you do will have an effect on where the story will lead. If you pull the fire alarm, your relationship and trust with Scott will rise, while your relationship and trust with Brad will suffer, as he saw you do it. If you don’t pull it however, obviously it is a vice versa situation, and your relationship with Brad will go up, while your relationship with Scott will go down.
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Now is a good time to go over the characters and the information you receive about them as you progress. They all have a deep background to discover, of which includes why they want to leave Whitewater so badly.
•Eric Coldstaff, “The Loser,” a mouse: Eric lives in poverty in a rundown house with his single alcoholic father and his beloved pet dog, Bender. He is bullied frequently, as he is an easy target considering his outcast reputation and short height. (He is easily the shortest out of the five main characters). He doesn’t really have any friends besides the manager of the grocery/hardware store he works at, who’s named Dick, acting as a father figure to Eric. He later makes friends with three goth girls, one of which is named Carrie. His mother died during his birth, with his dad later remarrying, though she also tragically died, this time in a car accident when Eric was in grade school. Eric deals with major depression and neglect from his father and desperately wants to leave Whitewater to leave behind all of the excruciatingly painful ties he has to this town. He wants to escape.
•Brad Laung, “The Jock,” a crocodile: Brad lives with his two parents, of which own a junkyard/scrapyard in town. He also has an older brother who is currently in college, playing football on a scholarship. Brad is on the wrestling and baseball team, as well as the football team, though the football season was before the start of this game. He isn’t known to be a terrible bully, though he is considered to be somewhat of one. He has a posse of friends who are known for being far worse bullies than him, his best friend being named Kevin. He is dead set on surpassing the success of his older brother, whom his dad pays far more attention to because of his college football status.
•Kimberly (Kim) Sharp, “The Popular Girl,” a cat: Kim lives with her (fairly) wealthy parents and her younger brother and baby sister. She has a huge friend group, with some being minor characters, and one larger character named Amy. She deals with eating disorders and other insecurities. She wants to prove herself to be much more than just the “princess” of the school — she knows the friends around her are all just hollow and empty and truly mean nothing to her, though she can’t stand to be alone and by herself. She wants to leave Whitewater and find meaning in something real, the lack of which has driven her heartbroken over the course of her life.
•Scott Nelson, “The Nerd,” a goat: Scott lives with his father and stepmother, as well as a little sister. He has two other good friends, one of which is named Cory, who is addicted to Kastles and Krakens, (the Dungeons and Dragons of the NITW universe). His father is chief of Whitewater police. Being a policeman is a tradition in Scott’s family. Scott had an older brother who seemed to be on track of fulfilling the tradition and become a police officer, while Scott had no desire to be a policeman. This relaxed him, knowing he wouldn’t have to fulfill the tradition at all. But when Scott was in middle school, his older brother was in an accident and died, with his mom not being able to bear the pain of so and thus divorcing his dad shortly after. She hasn’t been heard from since. Now, Scott’s dad wants to pass the tradition down to him, and with Scott’s career path narrowing, his dad has become increasingly toxic about it, even going as far as threatening to excommunicate Scott from the family and his life. Scott has made up his mind to leave Whitewater and be successful to spite his father, while also leaving behind bad memories.
•Angela McMahon, “The Class President,” a bird: Angela is the student body president for Whitewater High School. She has lived with her uncle all her life, and has never really been told what had happened to her parents. Her uncle is the mayor of Whitewater, and while she desperately wants to look up to him as an inspiration, he constantly belittles her and undermines any achievements she has made. Angela has dealt with addiction issues for quite some time now. Unfortunately, her only two good friends both moved away before the start of their senior year, leaving Angela somewhat stranded without guidance, as her friends were a big help with conquering her addiction. Since the school year started though, she’s made new friends with a sophomore named Crystal, one who also deals with addiction problems. Angela really wants out of the toxicity that her uncle brings around her, while also fighting to try and stay clean. She wants to leave Whitewater and study politics, hoping to bring a good change to the world.
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As you progress through the game, the more serious the sabotages become. Over the course of it all, you have been gaining trust and building relationships with characters, while further dividing it with others. Though of course all of the characters have the same goal in mind, you do work together in certain instances, as it could be for the better, saving self individual worry about earning the A for another time. Here are some sabotage storylines that could potentially happen as you progress, listed in no particular order.
•While playing as Eric, either Scott or Kim will come to you and Angela with a plan to follow Brad’s bus on its way to a wrestling meet in a faraway town, many hours away. The plan is to slash the bus tires, leaving Brad, as well as the rest of the team, stranded in that city and forced to stay overnight. By the time a new bus would arrive the next day, and then drive back with the team, that school day would surely be over, resulting in Brad missing a test. (It’s determined whether it’s Scott or Kim driving by whichever one is in a gray area as far as trustworthiness with Eric). Eric and Angela agree to the idea and are driven into the town with the accompanying driver. You reach the destination, though Brad and the team had been there for a few hours already, as they left before the school day ended, and in a mini game, you properly slash all the tires just like the plan. Afterwards though, Scott/Kim takes off in the car without Eric and Angela, leaving you stranded together. Eric manages to call Dick, his friend and manager, to ask to come and pick them both up, and he agrees, thankfully, as it is quite the task driving so far unexpectedly. Eric and Angela now have downtime while waiting for their ride to arrive and get to explore the other city together for a quite a few hours. They bond together and have a really good time, a nice break from all of the chaos going on around them back in Whitewater.
•Playing as Brad or Scott, whichever of the two you’re not playing as steals the other’s regular clothes and gym clothes from the locker room as they’re showering after P.E. and hides them around the school. Naked, only wrapped in a towel, you have to go around the school finding them before the bell rings for the next period, which is Psychology on a day of a quiz, all while remaining unseen from anyone else. The camera is far more zoomed out than usual and it is essentially a mini parody of a stealth game, dodging people’s sight and hiding behind things. There is a timer going and you reach a checkpoint every time you find an article of clothing, which you then of course put on, with underwear being the first you find. If you are seen by anyone in the hall you automatically run back to the last checkpoint. If you don’t get them all in time, you are tardy and thus not allowed to take the quiz; due to the harsh rules Mr. Herringbone put in place.
•Playing as anyone, with one accompanying friend of theirs, you sneak and break into Mr. Herringbone’s house at night, with hopes of finding the tests that were taken earlier that day and changing the answers on them to incorrect ones, except for their own, of course, all without making noise or waking him up. It is a Friday, so they assume he hasn’t graded them yet and will later in the weekend. There you can find the tests, but also uncover weird things they did not know about him, including different oddities and a room for a child, despite him not having one. Each different character has their own different ways of breaking in.
•During a test that he didn’t have time to study for because he was dealing with the aftermath of another sabotage, Scott has his friend, Cory, sneak into the school’s vents above the classroom and release some sort of vapor to set off the fire sprinklers so it ruins all of the test papers in the classroom, postponing it until the next day, leaving Scott more time to study.
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Before we get into the ending, it would be good to go over the other mechanics and what else the game has to offer, as NITW wasn’t constantly pushing out story the entire time you played; the other half was the downtime and exploration you get to experience, which this game has plenty of as well.
Each of the characters possess a unique gameplay mechanic that lets them reach areas that others cannot, whether in school or outside in town. Eric is the shortest and can fit under and into tight places others can’t. Brad is the tallest and can jump and reach higher areas others can’t get to. Kim has good balance and can walk across telephone wires and other skinny surface which others cannot do. Scott knows how to pick locks and can get into locked doors around town. And Angela has school keys and can access any door within the school, including the ones that lead in/outdoors. There are plenty of unique areas that only certain characters can reach because of this.
You get to explore the town during downtime, which includes the short walk to school, after school, and the weekends. Not everyday is necessarily accounted for, as this game takes place over months, approximately from February to very early June, AKA their second semester of school. When a new month arrives, you are told that day before he start of the day/when you wake up. They will all have the same amount of playable days, with exceptions to February and June, as you don’t experience both the beginning and ending to those months, unlike the others. At the end of the school day, similar to how in NITW you are presented with the choice of activity for that certain day, like choosing between hanging out with Gregg or Bea, you are presented with the choice of who you would like to play as for that time, each of them having a unique activity planned ahead for them. Sometimes not every character will be available to choose for that time because, canonically, they just don’t have anything interesting planned for that day, but really, there is simply a rotation in which the characters are selected to be playable for that day. For example, it’d go like this: it’s the end of the day and the bell rings. With a shot of the school serving as a background, text choices pop up on screen. There are different choices you can flip through. One may say “As Kim, go to the mall with her friends.” The next reads “As Eric, go to the graveyard with Carrie and her friends.” And so on and so forth. Again, not everyone will always have an option to play as. If there are major main-story points unfolding, such as missions, sabotages, or important cutscenes, the according player will automatically be chosen for you and you will receive the title of whatever is playing out, like “Legends” or “Proximity” in NITW. Depending on whatever route you are taking, different ones will happen. Major story events may also, and more likely more often than not, take place in the evening after school, after whatever optional event you chose to do after school. They may also happen during the school day. There will usually always be one, with some definitely being more serious or important than others.
During the school day, you are also presented with fun, mini activities/games to do, similar to how things like hanging out with Lori or Germ and lightbulb smashing were in NITW; small things that don’t affect the plot in any major way. Things like this would include participating in P.E. class like dodgeball and basketball, sculpting pottery on a throw wheel with the closeup hands mechanic in art class, etc.
Not to blatantly use the same ideas, because, canonically, Mae used her notebook for an actual reason, (her doctor recommended it), an “achievement” system is still in place, like the doodles in NITW. Instead of a journal being used for doodled achievements, there will be a bathroom stall that slowly gets graffitied with the “achievements” you make, done in permanent marker, just like how real schools are. Not that it would necessarily be the characters doing it themselves, it just appears there after you complete the respective moment that earns you the achievement, giving you the notification for it in the corner of the screen, just like NITW. You can check it from anywhere, you don’t have to be in an actual stall; it’s more symbolic than anything. I think that would be a creative solution to having a unique achievement system like NITW had, as that was simply a part of the game’s experience, blended with the aesthetic and theme that this game has. You rotate to look at all four walls, them slowly filling up with different graffiti of doodles and words. It would be pretty awesome.
Quickly switching topics here before we get into other things, each character also of course has their own subplot and story as well. It uncovers who they are and the deep problems they face and the reasons as to why they want to leave Whitewater so badly.
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Eventually though, as things go on and tensions get higher, things get more and more out of hand, with them ultimately messing with each other’s lives out of irrationality and some hatred, rather than just trying to lower each other’s grades. The more horrible the sabotages become, the less it is you, as the player, actually acting upon them and doing them, or at least without the insight that the characters’ internally have apart from your own knowledge, as your own moral compass would come into check. You are still, of course, in charge of movement, dialogue choices, other choices, etc.; it isn’t just a string of cutscenes with no player interaction.
The first turning point between purely grade-related sabotages to, more or less, personal attacks between characters is when Eric’s current least trusted character pulls a massive sabotage on the entire school and gets the blame put on him, resulting in the suspension of Eric. After this, Eric plots his revenge on them, leading to a rabbit hole of trouble.
This slowly begins a descent into chaos and hatred among the five of them. Other personal attack-like sabotages or things that go to far include:
•Steroids and marijuana are planted in Brad’s room at home by someone sneaking in through his window while he was away. This results in him getting kicked off the baseball team by his father and coach, simply igniting rage within him. He starts carrying his brother’s old knife everywhere he goes.
•Eric eventually makes friends with a group of three goth girls, not unknown to him, as they have been classmates since they were young, but they just never really talked. He tells them slightly of what has been going on and they help him out sometimes. One girl, named Carrie, and Eric grow really close really quickly and bond over the struggles they’ve both had in the past. Later on, at a certain point, one of Kim’s friends, named Amy, bumps into Eric and accidentally ruins his notes somehow for Mythology class. She asks him what they were for and tells him she also has Mythology, but for 4th Period. Eric isn’t too worried about it, but she insists on taking extra notes for him so he can have them back in return. She says she’ll meet him at the end of the day. Eric is suspicious, but, quite literally, at the end of the day, she lives up to her promise and gives him the notes, all seemingly proper and correct. She then offers to go to the park with him and study for the test they’re both having tomorrow. He is now very suspicious, but when he asks if Kim put her up to this, she looks genuinely confused and denies it. He agrees to it, though he is still very cautious. They go to the park, study a bit, but simply just end up talking to one another. Eric reveals to her, and you as the player at the time, the story of how his mother died while giving birth to him, and how he never really knew her and how it’s hard to visit her tombstone because her date of death is the same as his birthday, though his dad did get married again a few years after. Amy asks what his dad’s new wife/the woman who is now his mom is like and then he reveals that she died as well, this time in a car accident, involving a drunk driver. He further explains his dad’s descent into alcoholism and unemployment. Eric and Amy end up kissing. He walks her back to her house and then back to his. At the next day of school, it is revealed that, unknowingly to Eric, as well as you as the player, that, while Kim, Amy, and their friends are talking, Kim had paid Amy to kiss Eric to try and get him sick, as she has the flu. What they don’t know is that Amy actually ended up with genuine feelings for him after that day they spent together, but brushes it off to them as if it was gross and horrible. It did end up working, though, as Eric is shown throwing up in a restroom toilet. They start to hangout semi-secretly, but Carrie eventually finds out and gets upset at Eric, revealing that Amy used to bully her extensively years ago and says she is just like the rest of the popular girls. Carrie doesn’t show up for the next few days, so Eric asks her friends where she is and they tell him that she is in the hospital after she tried to “hurt herself.” This completely throws Eric off.
•One morning, Eric wakes you to his dog dead on his porch. He is beyond devastated. He figures it was Brad, as he threatened to do so at one point, though it was just to scare. Eric meets Brad after school on his walk home and Eric yells at him for what he did, Brad denying it. Eventually, Brad pulls out his knife and pushes Eric to the ground, saying one last time that he didn’t kill his dog. Brad’s friend Kevin is actually the one who did it, as he was there when Brad threatened to do so, leading Kevin and him to get into a big physical fight.
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Amidst all of this chaos, they have finally reached close to the end of the school year, and with that, the beginning of the final part. Irrationality is evident with all of them.
Depending on the choices you have made and relationships you have built up with Eric and the other characters will determine how the ending pans out for you. There are multiple endings.
The final chapter begins with a phone call happening. It is Eric on the line. He calls every character to go over a plan that they have made. Every character, but one; Eric’s “least favorite,” the one with the least amount of relationship/the most hatred built up with him. For sake of this post, we are going to have that one person be Brad, though, in the game, it could be any of the other four. That character is also the one who has ended up with the highest grade in the class.
You call each of the other three characters separately, being able to tell who is on the other side of the line based on the appropriate colored text that they have, like in NITW. They are talking about a plan they have to try and prevent Brad from attending school, not tomorrow, but the next day, as it is the day of the big Psychology final test. They have put away their differences and accepted that they’d rather have a one in four chance of getting the A by working together, than to do nothing and have Brad certainly get the A. One last big team effort.
The plan they have is a bizarre kidnapping, more or less. At night, they are all going to get into Scott’s pickup truck, (if Scott is Eric’s least favorite, then it will be Brad’s pickup), stake out by Brad’s house, wait for him to fall asleep, break into his room, disguised, and knock him out with a rag of rubbing alcohol. Then they are going to blindfold and tie him up and take him to an abandoned shed in the deep outskirts of town, where he will remain for the next day, missing the final test, all without being seen.
The irrational plan works, despite a few hiccups, and they drive him out to the abandoned shed. They slowly drag him out, still unconscious. But when they open the door, there are already people inside, in the middle of a big drug deal. Quickly, they slam the door shut again, run back to the truck, and throw Brad’s body in the back of it. They race down the highway again, all arguing about what they should do next, from a 2D angle, like when you are walking. They don’t realize, though, that Brad has slowly risen and is now standing up in the back of the truck, and groggily starts yelling, still somewhat tied up. They all turn around and really start to freak out. Eric then turns back around first, just in time for him to see a deer in the middle of the road. He screams and Scott turns around and slams on the brakes, the momentum sending Brad’s body flying from the back of the truck into the road in front of them, the deer calmly walking off. In unison, they all say: “Oh shit.” Stunned, they get out and walk over to him. They check over his body, and, sure enough, he is dead. They all have their different reactions. Kim bursts into tears. Eric throws up. But Scott then starts to give orders to them all. They load him back in the truck, Scott explaining that he knows what to do. They drive back into town and drops the girls off at the junkyard and tell them to find a metal barrel big enough for his body. You play as one of them to find it. He then drives himself and Eric, asking if he knows if there is cement at Dick’s store. Eric says yes, now realizing what they are gonna do. They get the cement and then Scott goes to his house and gets a manual cement mixer from his garage. (If Scott died, Brad gets one from his garage as well). They drive back to the junkyard, where the girls have found a barrel. Working together they all mix the cement using water from the ocean. They then put Brad’s body into the barrel and pour the cement into it, clear that they don’t want to do this. All of this is happening with very high emotions and adrenaline, nothing is calm. They sit in silence for a bit, and after a bit they all work as a team to drag the barrel out to the old pier over the ocean that is by the junkyard. (Not to ruin the mood, but just so you know, concrete can set underwater. It doesn’t “dry,” it’s a chemical reaction that happens). Before they push it over, Scott pulls out a knife, popping it open. He says that they need to make a pact. A pact to never leave Whitewater, in an attempt to keep the crime buried and to never forget what they have done. They all know they’ll never be comfortable again. They will grow to be adults and can be whatever they want to be, as long as they never leave Whitewater. They all agree, one by one taking the knife and cutting a small gash into their hand, not big enough to be noticeable, but big enough to leave a scar. They’ve left their cut on Whitewater, they need to be the scar to cover it up. And with that, they bump the barrel over the edge, the camera tracking it sinking in the water, getting darker the deeper it goes, until there is nothing but black. They wanted to leave so bad, they ended up stuck.
Eric wakes up the next day and slowly walks to school. There is a time lapse of him doing nothing all day, until he reaches Psychology. Mr. Herringbone does role and when he reaches Brad, the four of them have to hold in their emotions. They don’t try on the final at all to ensure they are not the one to get the A grade. Someone else will get it, but nobody else had a 4.0, so there will be no scholarship given. At the end of school, Scott admits to them that his dad caught him sneaking in at 3AM after the ordeal and he couldn’t hold it together and told him about everything, his dad saying he’ll do everything to protect him, knowing that he will have to become a police officer after all. (If Scott died, Eric is the one who tells Dick about it, and he promises to protect Eric and take blame for anything as he is already an ex-convict and looked down upon by the police. Scott’s dad also does not push for a deep investigation if Scott were to die, scared he may have ran away, or even worse, committed suicide, because of his toxicity and abuse towards him). They talk for a bit more. They all compare cuts and then grab hands. The scene fades.
The second part of the final chapter begins. You are playing as a new character, one that looks like Eric, but isn’t him. You start at the end of town on a pier and get to explore. The town is mostly the same, but there are modernization differences and some major changes. Sure enough, you are the son of Eric, now in 2017. If you go to the graveyard, you can find the memorial tombstone for Brad, with his body actually not buried there, of course. Your character tells you where you need to go to progress, his house, but you can explore as much as you want beforehand. You eventually pass by a news crew outside. Once you reach home, that scene ends.
There is a live news report being filmed outside, a special story being filmed on the 30th anniversary of the boy who went missing, with no body ever found. It isn’t national news, but within the state, it is a huge deal.
It shows people inside houses and such watching the program intently on their TVs. Those people are the older versions of the Eric, Kim, Scott, and Angela. Eric is watching inside Dick’s store that he now owns. Scott is in a police uniform in his house, children playing on the floor. Kim is watching, still in her parents’ house, with her elderly parents by her side. Angela is watching in her house, with a “Re-elect Angela McMahon for Mayor” sign in her front yard. (Brad would be in a gym, taking a break from lifting, his shirt saying “Coach,” a remote in his hand). All of them still in Whitewater, just like they promised. It cuts back and forth between them four watching it. While they are watching, a new person is brought in for interviewing. To their disbelief, it is their Psychology professor, Mr. Herringbone, from 30 years ago, now a very elderly man. You can see them all tense up. The interviewer, a young woman, explains to the viewers that this was one of Brad’s professors in high school, who says he has information to give on the subject. This is where that first line at the beginning of the game comes in:
Well then, what do you think happened?
Ah, what an easy question.
Then why have you waited so long to speak on it?
...I wanted to wait. ...Wait until I was nearly dead.
He then explains, specifying that this is only a theory, that 30 years ago, he preformed an experiment. He explains that, at that time, there was an important reward for 4.0 students in that graduating class, five of them being in his Psychology class. He decided to narrow it down to only one, by only giving out one “A” that second semester, so many years ago. He wanted to see what those students would do in order to obtain that “A,” saying, after all, he is a psychology teacher. He then says Brad was one of those students. He says he observed them all, their hi-jinx they took part in, starting out silly at first, though over time, getting more serious and personal as desperation grew. He even says that he’s pretty sure they broke into his house one night, with a laugh. The interviewer then asks, hesitantly, what he is implying. He explains that he thinks it is quite coincidental that Brad went missing in the midst of all of this. Especially, the day before their final, he specifically states, saying that he may be old, but he hadn’t forgotten. During all of this, the reactions of the four of them grow more and more serious, some of them with teardrops down their faces. He then admits how it is quite shocking. Then, again, stating that this is only a theory, he says:
“And... not to name any names... but I do believe that those four other students are still living here today, still in Whitewater,” a small grin appearing on his face.
Then, in vertical split screen, after a few seconds of silence, it shows all four of them, clicking off their TVs in unison.
Cut to black. And roll credits.
—————————————————————————
Thank you so much for reading. Again, please join thewhitewaterpact to support this idea! More information can be found there! Comment below and please DM me for any further questions, comments, or just to chat.
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2020.11.06 12:20 Asadshinigami Everyday moms naked

I was thinking that she might be just another tormented soul like me. However, does she know the truth about me? Once I get out, I am going to have another heart-to-heart confrontation with my mother. I left the cave but instead of the forest I was back in the corridor again.
The corridor had black and white squares on the floor and there were arabesque patterns circling around and around on the walls to the roof. It felt almost alienating as if the change of scenery was supposed to disorientate me with the sudden unexpected changes of time and space. I turned right and walked onwards with my knife still in my hand.
I heard thumping patterns nearby my location. I looked around, trying to find out where that unnerving sound was coming from. There was a double-glassed window on my right and the thumping sound stopped as soon as I reached the window. Oddly enough, there was only darkness outside the window. I tried to peer outside to check what was causing all this incessant ruckus. Satisfied that it was only my imagination, I continued to move on but as soon as my back was turned towards the window. The thumping sound was louder and more insistent than ever.
I turned around with my guard up and my knife wielded in my hand. The demon serpent was thumping on the window with her head.
“Hello, Baby! Where do you think you’re going?” the demon was telepathically talking to me without moving her mouth. She cocked her head on one side waiting for my response.
I backed off a bit and my instincts instructed me to run and hide away from her as I was not fully prepared to see her so soon. She sensed I was about to run and started hitting on the glass window with all her might.
“Oh Ali! ALI!!! AAALLLLIII!!!!” She shrieked inside my head, I had to close my ears. I noticed that the glass windows started to crack visibly. I ran away yet again, then I heard a vicious breaking sound of fragile glass that was clearly no match for her.
“ALLLLIIII!!!” She shrieked with rage and pursued me once again. I ran till I found an intersection. I turned a sharp left as I nearly stumbled as I was running in top speed. I quickly glanced backwards and she was very close at my heels.
“ALLLIII!!! Stop running, you bloody idiot!” I glanced back as her mouth was wide opened and her sharp fangs shined in the naked light.
She bit me on my shoulder.
“AAAAHHH!!” I screamed in pain and then I lashed out in turmoil as I desperately stabbed her multiple times in her tongue and mouth.
She jerked back in reflex and hissed loudly. She shook the rattle in her tail violently and rapidly.
“Don’t you dare raise your hands against your mother again!!!” she shrieked telepathically.
“You are not much of a mother if all you do is hurt me instead of loving me.” I screamed in protest. I was still holding my shoulder in pain. I felt a strange tingling sensation coursing in my body. It must be the poison in my bloodstream.
Damn, I thought….I needed to get away from her. The demon serpent stayed where she was in her poised defense position. She arched herself higher with her head moving left and right in a rhythmic pattern. She softly hissed at me as she altered into her human form.
I was at awe as the demonic serpent’s muscles and skeletal structure grew smaller and smaller into a middle-aged woman. Her blue and black formal dress magically appeared and her white hair was tied neatly in a knot. She continued to gaze at me throughout the transformation as I felt transfixed and helpless at the sight of her.
“Ali…don’t you remember what you have done?” Mother enquired.
“Remember what?” I was answering her question with my own question. It was my way of stalling for time and to see if I can get her to reveal more information.
“That time when you…..” she trailed off and cracked her neck on one side that looked unnatural and horrific. My eyes squinted out of disgust and fear but this is the best chance to get the truth from her.
“When I what, Mother?!!” I exclaimed out of rage.
“Did I do something horrible and unforgivable? Is it so unspeakable?” I continued but she stopped conversing and moving as if she was stopped by an unknown force. I wondered if I should leave her and tend to my wounds. I was about to step aside but….
“You can’t go yet…you still have not remembered what you have done to me.” she said quietly as she cracked her neck back straight.
“Hey, I am getting sick of this and I am not playing your fucking mind games!!!” I snapped.
“Don’t use foul language, my boy!!!” her rattle mysteriously appeared in her hand as she shook it rapidly.
“Whatever, I am not playing with you anymore”, I cried.
“But aren’t you paying attention? The game IS playing YOU!!” she argued in a silent harsh whisper.
I was getting impatient with her. I needed to get away from her so I reacted impulsively and slapped her twice. She barely flinched and blinked as if nothing happened to her. Although, her eyes glowed red with such fury and then she said in a creepy loving voice.
“Don’t make me hug you.” the background started to become fuzzy and blur. I continued to step backwards as her face began to alter like molding clay of skin and flesh. The hissing sounds returned and the ground started shaking uncontrollably. Her jaw opened as wide as a whale and her fangs emerge out of her mouth.
I didn’t want to see the rest of her transformation, so I took off and ran to another intersection. My speed was affected due to the poisonous bite. I turned right and found a nearby door ajar on the far side.
“Arrrgghh…I just have….to….make it” my movements began to weakened and my vision was getting blurry. I was also getting nauseous and delirious. The hissing sound was a reminder that the demon was still hot on my trail. I reached the door and pushed it with all my might. I can hear her moving too close for comfort. I closed the door as silently as I could and locked it. I turned around to see that I was in a big bed room.
“What is this?” I asked myself as I noted that it was the master bedroom I saw earlier in my previous memory recall. There was a king-sized bed with grey comforter with arabesque patterns and plants sketched with such precise detail. There was a bedside table on the left of the bed. It had cosmetics, toiletries and jewelry. There was another bedside table on the right of the bed but it was not so populated compared to the one on the left.
“Uuuhhh…!” The poison was killing me from the inside. I needed to do something about my wounds. I sat down and opened my satchel. Unfortunately, there was no anti-venom but I cannot risk doing nothing at this point. The bite taunted me with its dark flash of swollen red and the tingling sensation was coursing throughout my body. I looked at bedside table and there were three drawers. I opened the first one and there were only socks and lingerie.
Eeww! I thought as I closed the drawer quickly and opened the next one. Thankfully, I found additional band aids and there were certain medicines and painkillers that I can use to slow down the effects of the poison. However, the poison was still in my bloodstream. I had some painkillers and put an antiseptic cream on the affected area and dressed my shoulder with a band aid. This also felt natural to me like I was trained to being a fighter or a soldier
I shook off that thought and I opened the last drawer. There was a note that had Mother’s handwriting. I found it rather vexing while I was reading it. A memory fragment emerged in my mind, I was slightly older and I was at school. It was the last day of the school year and the summer vacation was about to start in its finest glory. I was satisfied with my exams despite the fact that I didn’t know the results just yet. Mother was supposed to pick me up but for the first time since forever, she was late. I got quite upset and impatient while I was standing there outside witnessing everyone else eager to enjoy their summer break.
Mother drove the leisure car into the school pickup point just outside the reception area. I stepped into the car and demanded to know the reason for her late pickup. She didn’t look at me as if she was lost in her own thoughts. I asked again louder but there was still no reply. We were not even moving and the cars behind us started honking loudly in annoyance. I touched my mother’s shoulder but then she flinched and stared at me dangerously.
“What is your problem, Ali?” she asked me coldly.
“You!” I responded back in kind.
She froze in shock and this time there were no sarcastic remarks or empty threats that she can throw back at me. I stared back at her with deep resentment in my eyes and she looked away just in time when a security guard was knocking on her side of the door. He looked irritated that we are holding up the traffic. Mother started the car and rushed out of the school premises
I looked straight ahead, watching the big apartment complexes go by. We kept quiet throughout the drive as we said nothing to each other, carrying a burden of codependence and self-loathing in our journey.
We reached home and I got out of the car. Although, my mom was still sitting inside the car with that lost sad look on her face. I decided to check on her. I knocked at her window and she looked up to see me smile at her. She didn’t return the smile but I waited for her to get out of the car.
I stepped aside as she opened the door, looking exhausted and exasperated.
She sighed and said “Ali, you were very rude to me! This is not how you speak to your mother who slaves for you and your family everyday”.
She kept her cold rage intact I see, I thought.
“Mom, I was just done with the exams and you were late to pick me up”, I said with a steady voice but I felt my resentments started to bubble again as I felt the boiling kettle emotions attempting to rise up as the lid is struggling to keep the pressure down.
“Ali, you don’t understand anything since you are just a kid who lacks common sense and decency…” She was about to go on again but I wordlessly stopped her right there by showing a stop sign with my hand. I glared at her with heated intensity.
“Then how about you tell me what happened,” I said with a low growling tone.
“Ali! I….,” she hesitated and then continued. “The school board wanted to see me again, they questioned me about my school being unsafe because there was insufficient security for all of the students.” She was speaking to me in an uneven voice. I eyed her facial reaction very closely as she was conversing with me, this behavior was unlike her. I have never seen her like this before…ever! She seemed to be wavering and she is not even asking for help.
“I thought that this was already sorted out since the school closed down due to that reason”, I was quite mystified that they decided to bring the school safety issue again. It was a whole year that the school closed down and my mom decided to stay at home and just be a housewife.
Mother put her hand on her head for a while, standing next to the car on a hot humid day. So that’s what eating at her, I thought. Apparently, the officials were not done with her as they probably had intentions to remind her of a failed dream that would never translate into reality. Or perhaps, there was something else that she was not telling me. Mother was a very private and reclusive person in our family after all.
“Ali, I just want to go inside and rest,” She even looked wobbly and fragile as if time finally caught up with her.
“Ok Mom, I love you,” I said and I was about to give her hug but she pushed me away.
“Oh grow up and handle your own transport from now on. Kids your age already started driving, you know?” she snapped at me and gave me the usual dismissive treatment.
She went inside the house as my fists clenched tightly and my heart rate shot up with intense rage and resentment. At that time, our relationship started to deteriorate and I felt that sense of love and trust that was promised in my family, started to sound like a lie. I reluctantly went inside and I went straight to my room.
The memory ended right there, I looked at her note once again and it was a note of apology to me but I don’t recall that she given it to me. I felt the poison doing more damage as I was getting riled up and emotional. I breathed deeply to center myself. I recalled a vital information in one of the books in the divine library. I could get the anti-venom from the demon serpent. But before I started to plan how to get the antivenom….
“….Arrrgghh…..uhhh”. I held my shoulder since the pain was excruciating. I needed to make an alternative strategy to get the anti-venom and overcome this demon once and for all. However, my head felt foggy and then I thought I still needed to rest to regain my strength and concentration. I hopped to the bed and lay down for a while.
An hour later, there were black and white flashes that caused me to jolt up from the bed. I looked around and stared in horror as I saw more naked bodies of myself floating all around me like hopeless rag dolls with invisible puppet strings, dancing their wild and jerky movements. The 3 bodies in front of me were dancing in a synchronized robotic dance as they were attempting to jog a killer instinct that I have long forgotten. One of them stared at me with his hollow eyes and said in a silent but audible voice.
“…Ali, you cannot die again”.
“Not again.”
“Not again.”
“And again.”
“Ali…Wake up and FIGHT!!!”
“Fight for me…fight for you….fight for us.”
There was a new feeling in my heart and soul. Beneath the rage, fear and resentment, there was a sense of purpose that gave me the willpower to get up from the bed. I woke up with a fresh and strong feeling to reach out for the new horizon, knowing that I will have to fight that demon in order to survive.
I got myself ready and opened the door. I heard the hissing sound nearby the corridor. I walked towards the target despite the pain and the fatigue. I started to run and this time, I was ready to face the demon and confront her. This time, I didn’t even care what more damage and pain she was going to inflict upon me since I will respond in kind.
“MOTHER!!!” I shouted to summon her.
“Yes, my dear!” Mother responded as her giant head peaked nearby.
“It is about damn time I fight you and win!!!” I shouted.
“Oh, my pretentious and obnoxious boy thinks he can best his mother” her serpent eyes rolled out of boredom and annoyance.
“Here I go!” I cried as I got out my knife on one hand and a sharp long stick on the other. I crossed my arms to put myself in an ultimate defensive stance. My eyes gleamed and my smile widened sadistically as I waited for her to make the first move.
“Now, that’s the son that I remember!” she observed as she moved closer in her rhythmic pattern. She towered above me, staring at me intently and lovingly.
I had an idea….I was going to show her the note that she never gave me. I needed to get even closer but she was keeping her distance as a precaution. She must have sensed that I am growing desperate for my survival.
Time is my enemy since the poison is killing me and my vision is getting darker and my body felt heavier than ever.
“Hey ‘mom’, you think you know everything but you don’t know shit because all you do is act sarcastic and bitter ever since you could never open your own school” I shouted out of defiance, just to shake off the pain and fatigue.
“How dare you!!!” She shrieked and the ground shook out of fear of her outrage. She swooped towards me and opened her mouth to bite me again. I spun the wide stick rapidly with one hand and then threw it towards the upper portion of her fangs as fast and hard as I could. The man-made spear reached the target with unerring accuracy.
The demon jerked her head back and wailed in pain. I rushed towards her as I wielded my knife and stabbed her multiple times in her body. Her body convulsed in pain and wailed louder. She was about to strike at me once again.
I anticipated her strike and parried her as my knife greeted her fangs in a shining contest of violent willpower and wrath. I quickly snatched my spear as soon as she was within range. It got some of the demon’s venom. I siphoned a fraction of the venom and combined it with the antibiotic medicines to immediately treat the snake bite. I rubbed the anti-venom on my shoulder after I took off the band aid.
I felt relief as the snake venom lost its battle thanks to the quick administer of the anti-venom. I breathed easier and I saw the demon coming straight at me to unleash a rage storm.
Mother was nearly at a striking distance as I reached out for her apology note.
“Hey ‘Mom’, I found this!!” I took the note out and shoved it up in the air for her to see. She scrutinized the note with her serpent eyes and there was something different in her usual reactions. Mother’s eyes lost its fury in that instant and was replaced with grief and remorse.
Mother turned back to her human form and walked towards me with a more ‘humane’ emotion. Her eyes were teary and her lips were curved with tension. She stood at a sweeping distance from me, with her hands clasped together tightly, almost as if she would break her own hands.
“Ali, where did you get that?” Her voice was shaky and about to break apart.
“Were you ever going to tell me?” I asked with a silently low growling tone in my voice.
“Tell you what, Ali?” she started to cry with tears in her eyes.
“The truth! For once in your miserable life, tell me the truth!” I snapped.
“Ali, the reasons why my school was shutdown were not because of the security issues. Do you remember the time when I was late to pick you up from school at the end of your O levels exams?” Looks like she started telling the truth with a wind up.
“They ‘claimed’ that the school was a front for an agenda that involved human trafficking and drug smuggling circles.” Then the pitch, which was a seriously dangerously wicked fast-curve ball that would stagger any batsman.
I blinked and simply asked “…What? Is that true?”
“Oh Ali, What do you think?” She was getting even more upset as the ground began to slightly rumble.
“WELL IS IT?!!!” I shouted as my voice echoed in the empty corridors.
Mother looked at me quietly and her facial reactions became oddly cold, emotionless and distant. Her eyes became unrecognizable and, rather unmotherly.
“Ali…” She said and hesitated but she continued to unveil her secret unwillingly through clenched teeth.
“We were involved in a criminal syndicate organization that would train these young children to be well prepared for a better tomorrow. They would have become assets to our organization, being placed strategically to control other country’s economy, political infrastructure, education, medicine and so much more. They would be trained as assassins and smugglers to seek new blood for recruitment and, if necessary, to smite any obstacles or enemies who would dare stand in our way. Our aim was to extend our influence to the rest of the world.”
I was utterly stunned but all of this sounded far too disturbingly and eerily familiar.
“Was I one of them?” I asked with my own hands shaking.
“Yes, my son!” Mother said and her face became equally frighteningly warm and loving. “I am sorry you were brainwashed in becoming one of the feared assassins this world as ever seen.”
“Brainwashed?!!” I snarled at her. “Mother, how many more secrets are you still hiding??”
“Only one more.” She said in a strangely calm voice. “You were responsible for killing me.”
“….What? No, that cannot be true! That cannot be true! You’re lying again.” My emotions erupted in front of Mother.
“Ali…It is true….” She said quietly. “You. Killed. Me.” She spelt out the entire last phrase and emphasized each word to evoke feelings of guilt, regret and self-loathing. Somehow, deep inside my soul, a part of me knows she was telling the truth.
“….SO WHAT?!!!” I yelled to defy my controversial thinking and my Mother. “You could be tricking me, provoking me, enraging me and hurting me like you always did!!!”
“…Ali, as usual you are not listening. You need to take responsibility for yourself.” She was about to touch me but then I defensively brushed her off with my free hand.
“Get the fuck off of me!!” I shouted at her with tears in my eyes. I couldn’t believe that I was an assassin but when I think about it, I had abilities that an assassin can do, like making weapons, using medical aid and learning to fight using martial arts. That felt all too natural when the situation demanded that I put my skills to the test.
“So, how come you or the family were never sent to jail like nothing happened?” I asked trying to bring stability in my voice and keeping my wobbly legs from shaking so hard.
“We had connections with the government and the police to ensure things like this would be quietened down without creating a serious fuss and mayhem in our household as well as saving our underground reputation.” She explained as her dead eyes gazed upon me and my body reactions.
“Oh, of course we did.” I said with my head feeling heavy all of a sudden.
“How come I never knew about that?” I asked her as she cocked her head to one side out of puzzlement.
“My boy, YOU were the leader of the criminal syndicate. So, it is impossible that you didn’t know the family business,” she said with a fast and accusatory tone. I flinched as she spoke to me like that but I needed to know more. There was something else nagging at me when she was telling me all of this.
“Was I alone?” I asked in an even more emotional tone.
Mother blinked. “My goodness Ali, you really forgotten everything, haven’t you?” Her eyes widened with glee and she smiled a wide smile that looked like she wanted to devour me.
“You have the wonderful opportunity to have a memorable reunion with all of us” She chuckled so light heartedly like she was enjoying her tea party with her close friends and family members.
There was also an unnerving feeling in my gut that I couldn’t shake off ever since I saw naked bodies of myself earlier in that mysterious lounge and in the master bedroom. It felt like a warning of some kind or a message. I brushed off my tears and looked at Mother to ask her another question.
“Hey ‘mom’, did you kill me already?”
Mother’s looked dumbfounded and perplexed by my question.
“What do you mean?” She asked.
“Exactly that!” I said.
“Well my son, I didn’t do anything to you.” She looked calm as she was lying to me. She put a serious emphasis on the word ‘do’ as well.
“I have seen dead bodies of myself at least twice in this hell.” I said quietly with my arms folded and my face becoming rigid and emotionless as hers.
“You always were an over-imaginative child!” she stated this with her usual as-a-matter-of-fact tone.
I nearly opened my mouth to argue with her but she stopped me by raising her fists and getting ready to fight once again. So much for the mother and son reunion, I thought to myself as I got ready for the one final fatal round. This time, there is no chance of dialogue or negotiations since our emotions have been raging at each other ever since our second encounter.
“Hey “mom”,” I said suddenly without thinking.
“Yes, Ali?” My mother said flatly as she was in her battle pose that seemed unusual for a middle-aged woman.
“….I…love you,” I said with a bit of an emotion in my hoarse and tired voice.
“Oh my dear….I love you too!” She said in her warm voice and smiled at me gently even though this felt awkward that we were about to kill each other.
We both attempted to start the battle as the ground shook much harder with such dangerous magnitude. Mother used a shape-shifting ability with her hand and turned it into a serpent’s head that attempted to strike at me. I parried her attack with my incredibly fast reflexes.
“I am not done yet, my boy!” She shouted with her game face. She used that same hand and strike at me with blinding velocity as it looked like she was attacking me nearly a hundred times in one shot. I did my level best to dodge and evade every strike.
I parried her attack and then I saw an opening. I kicked her in the stomach and she staggered backwards without any hints of pain. She recoiled and lunged straight at me that I just blocked her attack in time.
“…AAARRRGGHH!” I shouted as I flexed my strength against hers. She was pushing me too hard and fast to one side that my back hit the wall. I encircled my arms around hers to gain some leverage and I twisted her wrist and stabbed her serpent hand as hard as I could.
“…OOOOHHHH” Mother wailed and she tried to hit me with her free hand but I blocked and encircled her other hand away from me. I hit her on the chest with a staggering blow. She fell on the ground. I took the knife with my other hand and flipped it upwards as I noted my Mother is down for the count. I grabbed the knife in mid-air and threw it towards her heart.
She phased as the knife totally missed the target and hit the wall straight through the concrete. The hilt was the only thing visible as I must have thrown it with such intense emotions and willpower.
“Damn it!” I snapped. I missed again; I need to get her off guard in order to time my offense just right. Mother slowly got up, her hair dangling to cover her face. She must have lost her ribbon that tied her hair neatly in its place. She was rather OCD when taking care of her appearance, come to think of it.
Mother suddenly faced upwards and her hair dangled more freely and carelessly. She chuckled out loud and then it turned to a mad laughing fit. After her hysterical drama was over, she gazed straight at me, or perhaps through me. I got the spear in my hand and spun it rapidly, waiting for her next move. I cannot slip up again, she could kill me this time.
Mother shape-shifted both her hands into serpent heads and attacked me from that distance. She couldn’t have been more than 15 feet away from me. I defended against her attack as it pushed me back.
“AAARRRGGGHH!!” Her attacks are so overwhelming, I stood my ground and forced those serpents off of me. They fell off balance and Mother was vulnerable again.
“Here goes everything.” I said as I took the spear with both of my hands and rushed towards her in a blinding speed. I swiped the spear close to her head and it was just about to pierce her but she phased yet again. In that moment, this time I was more vulnerable as I heard the hissing and snarling sounds just behind me. Instinctively, I cartwheel dodged to the right as the serpent heads hit Mother instead. I spun around in mid-air and I landed on the ground on one knee. I eyed Mother as she seemed to be stunned by her own attack. I held my spear in one hand, ready as my secondary arsenal, while my free hand was searching for any other useful weapons or items in my satchel.
Mother cracked her neck to one side as she turned her gaze towards me. Her mouth was dripping with blood when she smiled as she was staggering painfully to me. I was petrified but I couldn’t let fear hold me back again. I desperately looked for anything in my inventory but Mother began quickening her pace with her dead eyes locked on to me. Just then, I got out a mirror when she was within arms-reach. I don’t know why but I pointed the mirror directly at her eye level.
She froze in shock and looked at the mirror with that ‘human’ face again. It looked like she was afraid of herself. Her mouth was quivering and her temples sweating cold as her hands fell limply on her side.
This was my golden chance. I thrusted the spear straight into her heart and ended this nightmare once and for all. She howled and wailed in pain as she screamed a deathly demonic hiss. Mother reacted too quickly when she grabbed my arms and yanked me hard towards her embrace.
“AAAH!! Let go of me!!” I panicked and struggled in her serpent’s hold.
“Now my dear son, you will remember what you did to me.” She said despite the spear in her heart. She touched my forehead gently with her hand. A memory fragment emerged in my mind.
I saw Mother sitting in the Master bedroom by herself from the corridor. I needed to talk to her as I was concerned about our last argument about the family business that haven’t been the same ever since the senior partners decided to take off without saying a word. It left a greater degree of resentment and bitterness with Mother as she had warned me not to take unnecessary risks that would result in losing more of our reputation. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was at an adult age of roughly 30, still wearing a black suit with a navy blue tie but I felt much older and drained after the spoilt business deal.
“Mother?” I asked as I knocked on the door.
“What the hell do you want, Ali?” She snapped as she suddenly got out of the bed and walked close to the door.
“Oh, here we go with the ‘mother of the year’ drama again.” I rolled my eyes and felt like leaving but I decided to confront her on this issue. I felt that I was justified in doing what I needed to do to keep the family business operational as we were in a bad spotlight with the press and government due to a failure of keeping the ‘high-profile client’ satisfied with us.
“Shut up, Ali!” Mother dismissively waved at me and she tried to push me out of the room.
“No, you need to listen to me!” My turn to snap at her as I pushed her back.
“Ugh! How dare you, Ali!” She shouted.
“How dare I?! No! How dare you!!!” I shouted in defiance and pushed her even harder that she fell on the bed.
“Have you gone mad? Ali, I am your Mother!” her voice became shaky out of fear and resentment that was about to be unleashed. Somehow, my lid to control the pressure was broken.
“You were always the mad one, Mother!” I shrieked as I pointed my finger at her, accusing her for never understanding me and treating me so dismissively.
“You set your expectations too high and I feel like I am drowning because of you!” I continued with my angry voice that I kept quiet all these years.
“There is something wrong with you, Ali.” She was still shaking while she lay on the bed. “We lost the business because you don’t have the balls to keep it running.” She taunted me with her eyes squinted as she was about to get up again.
“I HAVE NOT LOST THE FAMILY BUSINESS! I HAVE NOT LOST ANYTHING!” I totally lost myself at this moment. Here it comes, something unforgivable is about to happen. The ultimate tragedy was that this could have been avoided altogether. It was like watching a TV show but I was a helpless witness as the drama was unfolding itself.
Mother was about to slap me but I reacted and broke her hand effortlessly. She wailed in pain and continued to fight on but I swiftly turned on one side and threw her to the dressing table. Her head mercilessly smashed at the clock face. The glass of the clock was splintered into thousands of pieces as the minute hand was partially broken off. The hour hand was stuck at the 3 position. Mother was on the ground, bleeding out completely. She even stopped breathing.
My vision got a bit hazy and I felt something different. I felt something inside of myself disappear and I felt a new sensation. I was feeling nothing but a ghastly deep and dark emptiness in the very center of my being. It must have been where my heart was. The part of me that I always denied and rejected as my family taught me to ignore the ‘feelings’ for others, including for myself.
“Oh God. What a mess.” I said calmly and utterly coldly detached from the scene. I looked at Mother’s corpse and I didn’t even feel grief or remorse.
“I need to clean this up before anyone finds out.” I said quietly to myself as I planned out how am I going to explain this situation to the police. Incidentally, Mother and I were the only ones living in the house while the rest of the family were handling the bad publicity. Correction, I am the sole resident of this house.
Then, I decided to say nothing of this and pushed it to the back of my mind, hopefully I would forget everything of this incident. I walked out of the room and I saw myself in the mirror. I had a haunted look in my eyes and my pale face suggested that I was the one who died instead.
The memory ended right there as I was in a tight embrace with Mother one final time. She touched my cheek and brushed the tears off of my face. Her hold loosened up and I hugged her as she lost her strength.
“I am so sorry, Ali.” Mother said quietly. The anger, fear and wrath in her eyes faded as I saw my mother’s true face when she was dying in my arms.
“….M-M-Mother.” I whimpered.
“Say hello to your younger brother, will you?” She smiled gently and warmly.
“I…I have a younger brother?” I was shocked by that revelation.
“Goodbye, Ali.” Her eyes closed from this life forever and I felt her body turned cold as stone. I gently placed her on the ground and got up. I watched her with my unblinking eyes as she began to crumble to nothingness.
I turned around and walked away from the scene. I am haunted by my past sins and the demons in this hell. Mother said that the rest of the family will be reuniting with me here in this place. I was going through emotional anarchy.
I asked myself with my eyes unblinking and haunted by this outcome. “Well….now what?” as I moved slowly ahead in the corridor.
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2020.11.04 06:15 TanPogi69 Everyday moms naked

Hello guys! I honestly don't know how reddit works but besides that I just want to share my story. I was a young boy I don't know the exact age but I was young, like 5-7 years old young. Neighbors from our village shared this cartoon which they said was fun to watch, what I didn't know was it was hentai. I would get aroused so much and I was curious about this feeling that I did what I saw on the screen, I had also thought of how to masturbate by my self by just doing what I saw on the screen. Later on as I got very pleasured to the tingly feeling and as I wanted to always feel it everyday I always borrowed my cousin or my uncle's phone to watch porn because I don't have a cellphone. My cousin was the one who made my know about these porn sites because I would just borrow his phone and on his browser are hundreds of them opened. And I watched a lot. One day, I have a cousin who found a lost phone, she was a girl and one year older than me. That phone had porn downloaded on it and we watched it together, my cousin and me. And yeah, we tried doing what was on the screen, I touched her genitals, our genitals touch, AT. SUCH. A. YOUNG. AGE. then we'd do it when we're alone, we'd French kiss and touch and lick each other, AT. SUCH. A. YOUNG. AGE. one day, she might've gotten scared of it because we were almost caught so she didn't do it with me anymore. Instead, I did it with my friends (yeah guy friends) we would try to do anal but we never did (so am still a virgin yoohoo). We did this shit so many times and it was all because of hentai introduced to me at a young age. At some point, there's this party where girls are and one of the girls were my sister so I got too be with them too, when they were playing around I'd try to get my chance to touch them except my sister. I would also get aroused seeing my mom or sister naked or while they're wearing seductive clothing, sometimes I peek at them while they're taking a bath while I was young. Then we had to move to our new house, there I got out of porn for a while because I didn't have a phone right? Though sometimes I would masturbate at posters or album covers with sexy girls. At one point in my life I had to live with my auntie. There, a phone is provided to me, everyday I would masturbate at the room given to me by my auntie or at their comfort room. At this point in my life I knew something changed in me. I am a smart kid to be honest. I always get high grades but when I got addicted, my grades crashed and my mind was always fogged and I can't concentrate and remember well unlike before. Here I knew I was addicted. BUT... I didn't stop.... I continued... it even got worse... Now I am on my 10th grade starting to stop for my girlfriend which I always treated coldly and always used for my pleasures and desire.... i have always lied to her... BUT she made me change.... she stayed and told me she will help me get rid of this.

My highest streak is 19 days and boy I am telling you it made me come back to the old days when my memory was good as fuck. After that streak I would always relapse after 7 days. Now that I asked help from my girlfriend and finally told her my story. By the way, she was the second one to know about it and first was a close friend, I thought I can't tell her because she was a woman and had thought she can't help me. SO GUYS, don't hesitate to ask for help and sharing and venting out whenever you have urges, because it will help GREATLY. I now have a current streak of 12 days...aiming to beat NNN and never PMO again and only ejaculating through sex.
I have had many incest experiences and I don't like them at all okay? I hate my self for this and I hate this addiction more than anything else. It literally corrupts everyone.
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