What happens at the gyno

2020.11.25 05:22 Conscious_Ad7743 Gyno happens the what at

Okay women of reddit, I (male-20) am begging for help and guidance regarding my gf’s health down there, some possible solutions, and things we can do in general going forward. For awhile now, penetrative sex has been close to impossible due to dryness, then burning, which then may have caused her to have bv, uti, and urethra irritation. I think I can rule out not being stimulated because we’re pretty open about honest communication, especially if one person isn’t feeling turned on then we obviously cannot force it. Its hard to not have had sex in awhile, but I know that all my opinions and thoughts should be put aside rn, and I should be focused on my gf’s mental and physical health, as its starting to affect her mood and motivation when it comes to most things. For months whenever a new problem arises, I google and scroll reddit trying to educate myself as much as I can, but there are still a bunch of questions that no one seems to be answering. Currently, my gf is on the lowest dosage of hormonal birth control pills, and we are convinced that the hormones from this are causing many of the problems she has down there, and is throwing it out of whack. Because of this, she has been thinking about a copper iud due to it being non-hormonal, and had already ordered it at the gyno, to which I thought we kinda should have taken more time to research. It seems that vaginal atrophy is due to not enough estrogen in that area, but wouldn’t that mean she needs more hormones? Again idk why the gyno seems to evade, or doesnt answer that question. Currently, she is taking antibiotics for bv, and did have a uti infection before this, so obviously for this to happen for weeks is definitely hard on her mentally, along with everything else thats stressing her. I’ve ordered her a new 100 bil cfu probiotic, she is going to get the copper iud pretty soon, and will this help any of her symptoms ? idk. The next obvious thing I thought of was estrogen cream, but again the gyno deems it “unnecessary” I guess because she’s young. I’ve already gotten the “best” lubes and don’t need anymore recommendations. What I need are solutions that will solve the root causes of her issues, and not just the symptoms. Please help women of reddit.
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2020.11.24 00:22 Certain-Issue-9495 What happens at the gyno

went through a failed medical and then a surgical abortion last week and am in the recovery process currently, and cannot find anyone else who can relate to how i've been feeling.
i am currently finding therapy to help me deal with what happened so please do not suggest it as i am already looking into it, i am here only to see if anyone else feels/felt this way and if this is somewhat normal. i am also aware that my hormones are fixing themselves rn and that these feelings might disappear over the next couple of weeks. in addition to that, if you disagree with sterilization then please don't respond.
when i first found out i knew i wanted to go the abortion route immediately, i went the next day to family planning and got them everything they needed as fast as possible. i didn't have to deal with any protesters, and 99% of the people at the clinic were amazing. there is no doubt in my mind that i made the right choice, although it has felt like i've been gaslighting myself since then
the best way i can explain it is that i do not feel like i am someone who should be able to be with child. growing up i remember saying all the time that i do not want children, in my teen years i knew i would never myself give birth and that i wanted to get my tubes tied once i was old enough. i wanted to get them tied before i ever had to go through an abortion. i turn 21 in a few months and that is when i was planning on looking into childfree gynos who would do the surgery without the sexist restrictions that i will never meet. i am aware that it will be difficult but i am hopeful that people in my area trust women to make their own choices with their bodys.
with this being said, i feel bad. i have been reconsidering my whole life plan. i have never wanted to get married or cohabit with someone but now a small part of me is saying 'its meant to be' and 'all women have maternal instincts' i have found myself saying a lot of pro-life bullshit to myself that i know i do not believe. i know that i made the right choice for myself. i know i dont want children. i've known that my whole life. so why do i feel like a bad person? why does it feel like i want to get top surgery and go by they/them pronouns, even though i know that wouldn't prevent a future pregnancy? why does it feel like im in the wrong body now? i was okay with having periods, presenting as a cisgender women, etc but now it feels like that is someone else.
im sorry for this post being all over the place but i cannot find anyone else that has had a similar experience and i honestly just want any opened minded insight as to why i feel so disconnected with my body since all of this started.
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2020.11.22 02:33 the-ghost-upstairs At gyno happens the what

I'm getting the Mirena IUD inserted on Monday and I'm super anxious about it. My family is extremely religious and don't know that I'm sexually active. I've never been on any form of birth control (because god thinks its of the devil eye roll). I don't really know what to expect. My periods are super irregular so they are having to insert it when I'm not on my period (I never know when it happens and I need it before December). I have an okay general pain tolerance. My other big fear is how much the copay and Mirena cost. I have BCBS insurance and am getting it at my gyno.
Update: thank y'all so much!! I called insurance and that was all taken care of (yayay!). Just got finished and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be (i took ibuprofen and my anxiety meds before). I only winced a few times. I'm a little crampy but otherwise all is well :)))
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2020.11.19 13:17 NoOz1985 What happens at the gyno

I don't know if anyone is up for my long rant story. That's OK. It's nice to get it off my chest anyway. I feel like my country is behind with treatment. (the Netherlands) There aren't many specialists. And the ones we do have all know each other and have the same approach. They come across convincing. But compared to America, I feel like we're behind here. They're trying though. They really are. Asked me to join a scientific research that will be published world wide. I don't see the benefits from this research. As it's about quality of life for women with endometriomas. Well... We don't have quality of life if you'd ask me.
I am completely drained. Im overwhelmed. I feel sad and misunderstood. I feel like doctors don't really understand the depth of my pain and sorrow. I'm writing this with 2 heating pads on my stomach. (well, on my hips, cause I can't take any pressure on my stomach) The pain from these endometriomas inside my ovaries is so bad. Sharp stabbing pulling pains. While docs are taking it slow seeing what the best approach is while weeks go by... My first thought is... Remove those f*ckers!! But I want to keep my fertility. And I'm already 35 and not in the best of shape. So surgery is risky. My ovaries are kissing. Sounds like they're all happy lovey dovey right?! But I'm not!! And I'm sure they can't be as well, since theyre giving me excruciating pain signals.
My period came 2 weeks too soon. This is the first time ever that my period came earlier. Even though I was diagnosed with severe endo 1.5 weeks ago by MRI. (endometriomas) I've never had irregular periods before. I'm bleeding like crazy here. A maxi night pad will be full after 2 hours. That's kinda new. When I stand up I see little stars. 🤩 So I started taking iron supplements. Freaking blood loss. I've always had heavy periods, but this is new. My bed is soaked with blood every morning. I bought expensive bed sheets cause I wanted something nice for myself. Ruined completely. I sleep with a bunch of towels under me. It's fresh blood. So it can't be the endometrioma flowing blood.
My legs hurt, my back is sore and my hips are painful. This cyst is messing with me, poking my hip. I can't sit, I can't stand for too long. I told gyno this. She doesn't see reason to speed things up. Even though the big cyst might be leaking. (I'm bloated like crazy) I don't want to go to hospital. We're in lockdown, they're having a hard time there, those nurses and doctors. I've already been to the ER a few times before. They offer oxycodone and check if the cyst is still there. It was every time. I was scared it burst. I don't want oxycodone. I have multiple illnesses and oxycodone will f*ck things up completely. I have epilepsy, asthma, sciatica and degeneration in my spine, bursitis in my right hip. I also have Tietze Syndrome in my chest which gives me a hard time breathing. At freaking 35 years old. I can't believe it. Where did this all go wrong..
Im in bed. Watching Netflix. But I can't really focus. I'm in too much pain. Hoping the ibuprofen will kick in soon. It's been 3 years of taking daily painkillers now. For the sciatica and muscle cramps in my lower back and buttock. Sometimes I think I also have fibromyalgia. But the rheumatologist doesn't see that. I don't know why.. Since I have all the signs. Life sucks.
I'm done with endo. I only know for 1.5 weeks I have it. But period pain has been my life for 24 years. I dealt with it. It was nothing compared to what I'm feeling now. And believe me... I was in a lot of pain during periods. So much so that I found myself puffing and breathing away the enormous cramps with breathing excersises like I was giving birth. Moaning and groaning, fetal position. Crying my eyes out. While my boss was angry at me for not being there.. Again. Why don't I just take a paracetamol and suck it up, he said multiple times. It felt like I was giving birth every month for 6 days when I was on my period!!
I'm concerned about the big endometrioma. But I've tried everything I can. I went to ER multiple times. Cyst was still there. They did nothing. A test to see if I have bladder infection, to see if there's inflammation in the blood. My pants are 2 sizes larger since they found these endometriomas. I gotta buy new pants without buttons. Cause they give pressure. The gas, the bloating... Its on another level. And ive dealth with IBS my whole adult life.. But this is something else. It's hard to breathe when I'm so bloated. Every time a stabbing pain comes on on the side of the large cyst I just tear up completely. I'm checking my temp every hour. I try to keep hydrated. But is this what you warriors go trough every month?? Or maybe even every day??? You are all so strong.
In 2015 gyno was stupid and sent me away when I told her I must have endo. Eh voila... I do have endo. Current gyno isn't so worried. She's way too optimistic in my view. Endometrioma is leaking: don't worry about it, I can't have sex: don't worry about it. I can't sleep on my sides or belly: don't worry about it. I'm shivering in pain at times: don't worry about it. She says I don't have deep infiltrated endo. Cause the MRI says so. I can't believe this. Since the cysts are on both ovaries. There must be deep endo. I don't have bowel or bladder pains. I'm afraid of cancer: don't worry about it, she says.
Well... My second opinion will be on the 11th of Dec. Its an 2 hour DRIVE to this hospital. I can't bloody sit. This melon is poking my abdomen. But somehow I gotta do it. I gotta go there. I want as many opinions as I can get.
I'm down.. I'm depressed. Is this because my hormones are messed up or because endo is so overwhelmingly painful and not taken seriously? I don't know. I feel like life has no meaning for me anymore. I'm bed bound. 3 years ago I had a fulfilling life with a nice job in childcare and healthcare with the elderly. I went to the gym 4 times a week. I was fit. Now I feel pregnant with this giant belly. I've gained weight on my hips and breasts. I'm out of shape. And even the thought of excersising makes me shiver. I can't. Moving hurts. I want my life back!! 😭 My partner is so understanding. He isn't getting a lot of sex and is okay with it. He takes over the household. (I don't have kids) he cooks he cleans, he makes me Peppermint teas and warms up the heating pads. He even rubs my neck when I'm on the toilet crying in pain.
He can take care of me now, cause he lost his job due to covid. But what happens when he finds a new job? How am I going to take care of myself? I can't even bent over to reach my socks because of the bloody cyst.
How is this going to end up for me? I've met some wonderful human beings on Reddit. This is kinda the only place I can find some relief. My friends don't get it. No one I know has endo. They've heard of it and think it's just some cramps. They don't know shit.
Will I ever hold a child in my arms? By the time we've figured out what will be happening I'm older. Gyno wants me on progesterone now. I hate taking hormones. I will though. But it took me a year to come off the depo shot many years ago. Period came back after a year of quiting. By the time that happens I'm even older!! But my body can't carry a child right now. Any pressure on my sciatic nerve or pelvis is too much. And I have epilepsy. Which isn't a friend of hormones. It'll mess it up completely. I've been seizure free for many years now. I want to keep it that way. Having a baby, if that would still be possible, would risk me having seizures. And I've already almost died a few times, while having long dangerous grandmal seizure.
It's so heartbreaking. 😭 What the hell am I supposed to do?! I asked for mental support 4 weeks ago. I haven't heard anything from my gyno about it. I asked her again last week. I feel I need something stronger for this pain &. I need a therapist. oxycodone can risk my seizure threshold. And tramadol I can't take because of contra indication for epilepsy. What else is there to take? Fentanyl? Can't take that as well if I don't want to risk seizures. Maybe alcohol will help. I have a few bottles of whiskey in my cabinet. Pffffff....
Sorry for the rant. I'm just so depressed and sad. I feel helpless. These aliens inside of me keep hurting me. Laughing at me, feeding on me... And here I am.. Killing time and not able to have a normal life like a 35 year old. In bed... In lockdown and it completely and utterly sucks ass!!!!!! 😭
I hope we all find some sort of long time relief.. ❤️❤️❤️
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2020.11.18 23:09 lavandula_folia Why does my gynecologist feel it's ok to push his fingers inside me without warning?

Seriously, why did this happen today, when I went to get my expired IUD out? I was lying with my feet in the stirrups, expecting a speculum. Instead, without warning, my gynecologist's fingers were inside me, palpating my vaginal walls. I yelped out in surprise. He was saying it felt normal inside. I felt that this situation should be the polar opposite of normal.
I know, because I googled it afterwards, that a pelvic exam is standard. But why did he not give me a warning? How hard is it to say "first I'm going to do a pelvic exam before I take out the IUD?" How much time does it take to say, "I'm going to palpate your vaginal walls" before it happens? "I'm going to touch you now?" Not a lot of time.
The reason they do it is because we're conditioned to believe it's normal in this environment. That someone can do an exam you don't expect because you're nervous and worried the IUD removal will be painful, not thinking of any procedures that might happen before the speculum is inserted. They can fully insert fingers inside your body that come as a surprise to you. Because it's done at a gynecologist's office. Where he's probably done that to 10 other women that day as it's routine to him and not a big deal, unless someone complains. I felt like I was being unreasonable about being upset over it, but after thinking some more, I'm upset that I didn't say anything. I should be told what's happening and have control over someone touching me in such an intimate way, even for a medical procedure. That's not too much to ask.
If this has happened to you, please speak up. Gynos need to be called out on touching women without making it clear that they have consent to touch them in that way. It should not be acceptable practice.
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2020.11.18 22:17 unfollowingyou mysterious undiagnosed condition

this is gonna be a long one, i apologize for that. but please bear with me, i really need it.
i really need some help. i'm not looking for a diagnosis (though suggestions are welcome as i become more and more desperate) because i know reddit isn't the place for that. i more so just need support because i'm getting to the end of my rope and i feel helpless.
i'm 19, have been sexually active for 2 years now, however i had an 8 month dry spell that ended in june (1 month before this all started) for the past 4 months (since the end of july) i've been experiencing a whole mix of symptoms, which include vaginal itchiness, a stinging and burning sensation in both my vagina and urethra (maybe not the right word but i'm referring to my "pee hole"), and painful urination. sounds like a uti right? you'd be half correct.
here's where it goes sideways. all these symptoms are extremely random. i can't seem to find any pattern or cause for the symptoms. for the most part, i experience some form of pain every single day. there have been random weeks where i have felt fine every day, there have been weeks where every single day i'm in excrutiating pain and have to leave school or work early. sometimes it hurts to pee, but most of the time it doesn't.
i've seen 6 different doctors, 3 clinic and 3 emergency room. here's what they've done:

in the past 4 months, i've been diagnosed with 1 vaginal bacterial infection, 1 staph infection (uti) and 1 bladder infection.
each time, doctor has their "aha!" moment and thinks they're gonna cure me. each one gave me antibiotics (currently on my 4th round in 4 months) and every single time, the infection goes away but the symptoms don't.
here are all the things i've tried: - 3 yeast infection (fluconazole) pills/cream - 4 rounds of antibiotics (3 different ones) - abstinence for 1-2 weeks at a time (i'm in a new relationship and i don't want my bf to suffer because of me) - epsom salt baths (done this twice: first time, pain was gone instantly, second time it went away and came right back in 15 minutes) - changing my diet by cutting out alcohol, caffeine, and as much artificial sugar as possible - stopped using my vagisil "intimate wash" - avoided wearing underwear to bed (except for when i'm on my period) - almost completely stopped wearing jeans (except for special occasions) - drinking cranberry juice (sugar-free of course) - changed toilet paper brands - changing my tampons more often (i used to be very guilty of leaving them in overnight for 8-10 hours regularly, don't worry, haven't done this in ages)
other random things: - pain seems to flare up the day after i drink alcohol (not every single time, but probably 4/5 times that i drink, i'll have pain the next day) - sex is not painful, not even a little bit. i only have sex (oral or otherwise) on days when i feel zero pain and i don't start to feel pain afterwards either. - i'm on birth control, the same one i've been taking for a couple years now - the worst days usually seem to happen when i'm on my period - the toilet paper revelation: i used to get this same pain occasionally when i was a kid, only once a month or so but it would always pop up directly after peeing and went away after an hour or so. this issue then stopped for quite a few years. when covid-19 came up and everyone started panic buying toilet paper, my mom was unable to find our regular brand (cottonelle) and had to start buying a different brand (purex). we started using purex around june/july when we ran out of our cottonelle supply (same time my issues popped up). well, turns out that purex is the brand we used when i was a kid. i was so absolutely convinced that this was it, and that i had to be allergic to something in the toilet paper, that i went out and bought cottonelle again. unfortunately, this doesn't seem to have solved my issues.
if you've made it this far, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. most people in my life have brushed me off, and i guess i don't really blame them because this is kind of a gross issue. my mom has been my main support and my boyfriend has done a wonderful job of still managing to make me feel beautiful and sexy, even when i feel sweaty and horrible after spending 4 hours straight crying blubbering baby tears on the toilet.
please let me know if you've had similar problems or any words of advice for me. i really just need to know that i'm not alone.
thank you <3
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2020.11.18 20:17 peachsconexo Happens gyno what at the

I should be due for my 5th round of 3-month Lupron shots, but apparently there is a nationwide shortage and I'm no longer going to be receiving the injections.
My battle before Lupron was living hell. Having endo, PCOS and PMDD caused pure chaos in my body, and PTSD from seeing unprofessional gyno, after unprofessional gyno. This was a battle that started at the age of 8. Pretty scary stuff.
Life on Lupron was better. It was much better, but came with it's own nightmares. Significant hair loss, horrible cystic acne, bone and joint pain, emotional roller-coaster, hot flashes and the occasional surprise period just to list a few.
Now, I can find stories from people before Lupron and while taking it, but it's seemingly impossible to find anything about what happens when you stop after being on it for a year or more. I'm honestly pretty terrified. I know I could ask my gyno but she will give me the generic paragraph that can be found anywhere online.
I just want to know what to expect.... If I'll be okay.
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2020.11.18 16:32 Tanogram FTM 7.5 Weeks in a foreign country!

Hi there, first time poster here!
Excited to share that I'm moving right along with my pregnancy! I'm a FTM, 29 years old, and an American living in Germany. So far I just want to share how comforting the process has been. In times of the pandemic, it's also taken a lot of the social pressure off being so far away from family. Obviously I am missing that support, but I'm surprised I've felt as confident and reassured just with lots of phone and video calls. I'd be so interested to hear anyone else's story if you've also given birth in Germany!
After we found out a month ago, I was swallowed with panic and what-nexts, as one would expect. First things first, take a second reassurance test. Positive. Next, make a doctor's appointment. I had scheduled one about a month ahead, and then the office called and moved my date up to the same week, which was a great idea. I am so glad that my usual Gyno that I'm comfortable with was able to work with us as an OB so far. He explained things very clearly and in a helpful way. The one thing that stuck out to me in a really comforting way was how he said, "I'm sure you have hundreds of questions and I will answer them all for you, but remember that there is an appropriate time to answer a lot of these questions. It might not be right away, but I will answer them for you as the time comes."
Maybe that seems unhelpful or reductive, but it put my mind at ease knowing that I don't have to hold 40 weeks worth of knowledge in my head all at once. Our first scan was too early to show a heartbeat, but my second was last Friday and we saw and heard a little pulse buzzing away. My husband and I were just blown away. Obviously, there's always the worry this early, but I've been blessed with a pretty easy time so far. No vomiting, just tiredness, some food aversions, and reallllly sore boobies. Next scan is in mid-December, along with some genetics testing and blood work and by the time the new year rolls around, I'll be past the first trimester. I can't believe how quickly it's going. I'm not feeling a super-strong bond with my baby yet, but each day we get closer. I can definitely feel these primal instincts kicking in. We have names that we both love picked out and plans laid but I think it's important to be as easy going as I can and know that no matter what happens, ie if I can't breastfeed or have an epidural, or anything else that may come up, that we will get through it and there are other solutions and it doesn't make me a failure as a mother. It makes me adaptable to change, just like adapting to the changes of being pregnant!
Anyways, just wanted to pop in and introduce myself. I've been lurking and I'm finding this place helpful and reassuring! Thanks for being awesome caregivers and thanks for reading!
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2020.11.16 08:37 liltulipbean The what gyno happens at

So it's really really hard for me to make this post, but I've decided that it's something that I need to do. When I was 2, I was determined to go to school. My older brother went, so naturally, I wanted to as well. My mom had told me that if I wanted to go to school, I had to be potty trained. I didn't really grasp what that meant at just 2, so instead of actually having a normal pattern, I would just hold it for hours and hours on end, refusing to pee until it would just happen or I'd run to the bathroom at the last minute. Clearly, it was too early for me to be potty trained. This caused me to get frequent UTIs, which is something I still fear to this day. This happened until I was about 4. What scared me so much about the UTIs was the pain when trying to urinate. If anything, the UTIs made my holding problem worse, because I feared the burning and pain that would come if I tried to pee. This was all made worse when I had to have a VCUG. My mom told me nothing about it on the way there. I don't remember too much, but I remember the monitoscreen for the imaging and I remember the table. And the pain. I was hysterically crying before they could even insert the catheter and when they did it was the worst thing I'd ever experienced. I'm sure I've felt worse pain since then but this is seared into my mind as the absolute worst pain imaginable. I distinctly remember screaming "no" over and over again, but no one seemed to care that I didn't consent. I had to be held down for the entire procedure and this was treated like a nuisance. They kept saying things like "good job" and similar comments, but they just felt patronizing. I remember crying out for my mother and not understanding why she would let something so painful in an area I already had a lot of fear and pain around happen. It was a literal nightmare and was so traumatizing for me that it's taken me around 20 years to even make a post like this or share my story in any capacity. From that point on, I always get extremely anxious before annual check ups, as my mom would make me hold my urine for a while before going to the doctor in case they wanted to get a urine sample. They almost never did. I also get really really anxious when I know there won't be a bathroom available to me for a stretch of time, if I have to pee and I can't, or if I have to pee when other people can hear me. I tend to use the bathroom more frequently than most people I know due to that fear of a UTI and a procedure like that again, and get teased by friends sometimes for my constant use of the bathroom. They don't know my history, so it doesn't bother me too much. My mom seems to egg it on when she can though, making fun of me for peeing so much. That fucking hurts after her complacency with the absolutely invasive experience I had. It wasn't until I started to become sexually active that the reality of how fucking traumatizing this was for me set in. I had extreme anxiety before my first gyno appointment (I'm okay with it now, still bugs me sometimes) and now I get really anxious if any of my partners are going to be going down there at all, to the point that I've made previous partners wash their hands before they touch me. (Which is a good practice I guess, haha.) Most sexual contact is not stimulating to me and I often skip over the concept of my own pleasure, knowing that I won't be able to get there because of my trauma. I have been able to stimulate myself, but any situation where someone is between my legs doesn't do it for me. This has caused problems in relationships for me. I also have severe anxiety about the concept of ever giving birth and how the tearing down there that most women have will affect this issue for me. I'm in therapy now for other things, and I've thought of bringing this up, but I haven't due to fear of being borderline mocked like my mom has done to me. After seeing posts on here about people who have also gone through this procedure and have suffered trauma from it/the data about it being similar to being raped, I feel more confident about telling my therapist, but I'm still really unsure. This will be something I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life, and it feels really hopeless thinking about that. Edit: clarified a few things in the post
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2020.11.16 03:50 DarcRane What happens at the gyno

This one is gonna be a long one and I appreciate any ideas, support, etc. because I’m at a standstill here. Also, I want to be clear. I am not seeking a diagnosis but instead asking for opinions and support. I’m a 29-year-old woman and I have had a hell of a time trying to figure out my health (much like everyone else has gone through with Lupus) but I still don’t have any answers. I live in Japan but originally from the US. Usually, that doesn’t matter when it comes to a lot of things but I have noticed that testing and numbers are quite different between the two countries and how they react to certain diseases as well, autoimmune being one of them. I have written down my symptoms and my experience trying to figure out what is going on with my body. I don’t know what other info I can provide but please let me know because like I said I feel like I am losing my mind. Some days I feel ok and some days I feel like my body is at war with itself and I am just so tired mentally and physically.

Extra Info:
- Past events 10-15 years ago-
I haven’t been feeling well for a long time. It’s been well over 10 years since I felt off in high school /university but my mother never took us to the hospital consistently. When I was a sophomore in high school, I had a fever of 104 (no flu, no sickness it just came out of nowhere and this had happened before when I was 3 years old. The doctors never figured it out. I have also had random times of swollen lymph nodes. As a junior in high school, I was told that my blood count was off and they didn’t know why I had a blackout, insomnia, fatigue, etc. and I was suggested to go to a Rheum. My mother agreed because she was worried about the pink mask that was always on my cheeks. The Rheum told me it was possible I could have Lupus but said they weren’t sure and had to do more testing. My mom never took me back and I kept living life feeling like crap. In university, I was on and off sick and then finally got mono my junior year. My spleen was extremely swollen and my lymph nodes in my neck were also swollen to the point I had a large mass on my neck. I was out for 4 weeks. Because of my medical issues, I went into medical debt and was afraid I could never afford to go to the hospital / be in debt for life and thus never got tested or further investigated my issues.
Here are the things that have gone down this year:
July 2020
This year in July, I finally decided to go to the hospital because it was getting to the point that it was affecting everything in my life and I can afford it in Japan. The main reason though was that I was running, exercising, etc. and no matter what I did, I could not lose weight. I had gained more weight than what I was ok with and didn’t know why. My lifestyle here is less stressful and healthier than what I had in the states so I was confused. The internal doctor did quite a bit of testing (hormones, thyroid, sent me to a gyno, etc.) But she said she had no idea what was wrong with me and sent me off in frustration.
Mid-late August 2020
1-2 weeks later I had my official work health check-up (something you have to do in Japan) and it showed that my kidneys were not doing so well. I was required to get re-tested and went back to my internal doctor. She had seen the results of my blood tests before but had never mentioned the fact that my kidneys were failing. Not once. My eGFR was 53; making me stage 2 kidney disease. My Creatinine was high for Japanese standards at 1.01 but not for US standards (?) In fact, my kidneys were at the eGFR of 59-60 last year but no one mentioned it to me and it was never something I looked at because kidney problems don’t run in my family. (I know it’s not the only thing that causes kidney problems even more so now.) Now, my eGFR ranges from 55-57 and my Creatinine is .98.
- ***NOTE**\*I reached out to a friend who is a medical doctor and they told me to check my lab tests with American formulas. There are plenty of eGFR calculators like Davita so I put my numbers in and with the US one my eGFR is more in the high 60s low 70s (stage 2) which is much better but not the range a 29-year-old should have.
Mid/Late September 2020
The internal doctor said she couldn’t help me with my kidneys and so referred me to a kidney specialist. But, I live in the countryside of Japan and so the kidney specialist only comes 2 times a month so I had to wait 2 weeks. The kidney specialist then did quite a bit of blood tests and used the ultrasound of my kidneys from July. He told me that he was going to test for interstitial nephritis but mainly thought the reason for my kidney disease was my weight. I was shocked and upset because I had gained more than 10 lbs in less than 3 months even through exercise and running and had asked the internal dr for help because my body felt off. Then, I am told that I am too “fat” and that was why my kidneys were failing. I asked him if it could be anything else because I felt that my body was at war and that the weight was a symptom not a cause of something. I asked him if I could be tested for diabetes just to make sure and he said that he would the next time because the hospital closes around 4 pm in my town and we were past that time. He told me he didn’t think it was something else, he could test me next time, and that he would send me to a nutritionist to lose weight. Told me I had low iron and that I should be careful of that and then sent me on my way saying the goal was to lose weight, keep my numbers as they were and that was that.
I later realized through talking with my doctor friend and a nurse friend who lives here in Japan that what he did was wrong. He never asked for symptoms, never gave me a full explanation but handed me a paper saying I was in stage 3 of kidney failure and it was because I was fat. My Japanese nurse friend told me it sounded like typical old fashion doctors here that want to look at a foreigner and base everything off of Japanese bodies and standards and it’s wrong to do that.
October 2020
I ended up going to the nutritionist because either way my eGFR was low, I wanted to get a handle on a better diet for my kidneys and I figured it would help with my issue to lose weight anyway. The nutritionist was kind but I became frustrated with the kidney specialist because not once did he mention my kidney problems to the nutritionist. She had no idea until I asked her to look at my blood tests. The kidney specialist had only told her to put me on a diet to lose weight. Once I told her about the kidney stuff, she seemed frustrated because what she was suggesting were foods that technically aren’t healthy for kidney patients (brown breads, brown rice, beans, fresh fruits like bananas, etc). This was all through google translate because very few doctors speak English in my town’s hospital (Kidney specialist can speak English) and I don’t have the medical vocab to speak confidently in Japanese. I left the hospital even more devastated because, at this point, the specialist has truly shown that he only thinks I am fat and that was the main problem…not my other symptoms.
***NOTE**\*Again, I am over my weight that I want to be, and here in Japan they use the BMI only for weight compared to looking at lifestyles, body types, etc. I do need to and want to lose weight and have been trying to do so but to no avail. Thus, I believe the weight to be a symptom of something rather than a cause because even when I weighed less, my kidneys were still not functioning properly.
***NOTE**\*Found out through my mother that my grandmother was also diagnosed with Lupus when she was my age. My family doesn’t have a great relationship and so even though I have asked for family health history I don’t always get it until later. My Aunt on my father’s side also has Lupus and AIs seem to be more prevalent on that side as well.
I completely changed my diet to a more kidney-friendly diet (fewer meats, cut completely back on sugars, salts, fewer fruits that are high in potassium, fewer veggies high in phosphorus, less bread, little to no dairy (which is ok because I didn’t eat much in the first place since I’m lactose sensitive) and very little red meat (also ok because my stomach does not process red meat easily or at all).
November 1st -3rd I had severe left only flank pain. I could not move easily, I wasn’t hungry, and I was afraid it was my kidney. On the 2nd I went to the hospital because I was worried it could be something worse. The hospital was only operating its emergency unit because it was a holiday. (In my town at least the hospital shuts down at 4 pm and also on holidays) The doctor did a urine test and told me that no blood or protein was in my urine so he thought maybe it was just a kidney stone. I’ve never had a kidney stone so I don’t know what they feel like tbh but I don’t think that’s what it was. He gave me pain meds and sent me home but I asked if the pain meds were ok due to my kidney concerns and he was surprised and looked up my file to realize that I did have kidney problems. He told me I should be ok and sent me out. The pain kept going until November 4th but then went away.
I was able to lose about 3-3.5 kg or 6-7 lbs and I was extremely happy about this. However, I am still extremely fatigued no matter how much sleep I get or how busy my day is. I went to the kidney specialist for the nephritis test (he never put in the diabetes test ☹ ) and everything came back normal. So, once again without asking about symptoms or anything, he said it was due to my weight and that I just needed to work on losing weight. This time I was ready and asked for further information. I told him I didn’t think it was just my weight and that I wanted to know why I was having kidney problems at 29 when I have a decently healthy lifestyle. He told me again he thought it was my weight and I told him I wanted to see another doctor because he wasn’t listening. He agreed it would be good to have a second opinion and said I should get a biopsy but I will have to go to the city 1.5 hours away to get it done. He said “I’m going to warn you since you don’t have blood or protein in your urine the dr can refuse to do a biopsy. Also, because of your body, we might not have a needle big enough to get a biopsy of your kidney.” It was then that I realized even more that this doctor was completely body shaming me and quite frankly fatphobic…and foreigner phobic (which I found out sadly it is not uncommon in Japan ).
I have attached a picture of my body because even in the US I wouldn’t have an issue getting a needle for my body. I am not extremely overweight but even if I was what he said is ridiculous. I told the doctor that there shouldn’t be an issue because even in my town there are Japanese people bigger than I am and I didn’t think they would be turned away. He was quiet after that. I asked for Lupus testing and he fought me and tried to tell me that all Lupus patients have the butterfly rash, aches, etc., and then decided to ask about my symptoms. I gave him my paper that has all of my symptoms written down but he just laughed and said I don’t think you have it. I was furious and said I’m paying and it runs in my family so I want it done. Just to be safe. He gave in finally and I will get the results in 2 weeks.
I know that this is terribly long and I apologize but I am at my wits' end and just want to know what your opinions may be or if you have advice. Am I crazy to think that there is something else going on?

With makeup
Example of mouth sore-this one is healing
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2020.11.16 03:28 CommunicationAny8041 What happens at the gyno

Hello everyone,
My girlfriend and I had sex for the first time last night and we went at it all day today.. (sorry to be explicit)
Im going to be honest and say it has been a while for the both of us since the last time we had sex was with our ex’s. So, we were, of course very excited to get intimate and we had no brakes.. long story short:
I drop my girl off home, I get home and I go to pee and I see blood in my urine and it was like a little clot looking type of blood and then it was very watery.
Im nervous and a bit scared because I have no idea what it could be. The second time I peed there was still blood in my urine and it burned while I peed.
Here is some information her and I talked about already: we both don’t have any STD’s we were tested when we started dating, she got an IUD inserted in September but idk if that has any relation to this.
We think it could possibly be a UTI but she has no symptoms of a UTI, I’m wondering if I got it and she didn’t? But how?
I did my research and saw it could be kidney related as well but this only happened after we had sex today... Our last option is that it could possibly be due to the rough sex? We did go for a few rounds and very rough so MAYBE that can be it? But then again why would it burn while I pee?
So yea that’s pretty much my question. I would really appreciate and be grateful if anyone has any information on what this could possibly be. I am setting up an appointment with a GYNO but my girl is really worried for me so I decided to ask fellow Redditors for the meantime.
Thank you guys so much for any help!
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