2020.11.21 19:35 Emphasis_Curious Cctv sex clips
Please PM me if you want.
Long-term lurker here. Sorry for the long post, I have kept this frustration inside for the past 6-years because I have nobody to talk to. I've probably missed a bunch of stuff out, but I can mention more in the comments. Please PM me if your comment gets removed for whatever reason.
If you read through this all you're a legend.
Just for a heads-up, this isn't about the pandemic. Just to give you a little backstory, 6 years ago my parents decided to move to a small town outside of the capital. They own a 'family business' which is a little store open from 7am-9pm and it is attached to my house (so if I go downstairs, there's a door to the shop). I hate being here, because i'm fed up of the abuse, i'm fed up of wasting my life in this place, and I really want to pursue my interests and meaning in my life so I can experience happiness again. I've been soulless and devoid of happiness for the last 6 years. I've literally been numb and empty. I experience dissociation at least 5 days a week. I always feel out of it, and I don't even smoke weed, or drink alcohol.
I really regret not calling for help when I was 14 or 15... They showered me with gifts and I was oblivious to the emotional abuse and psychological damage that they've inflicted.
I had absolutely no say in moving here and I was turning 13 (this was in 2014). Ever since I turned 13, they have forced me to work in their shop. They promised me that I wouldn't have to work, and that I would focus solely on my studies. Up until the age of 16, my mum would force me and my sister (who was 17) to go to bed at 9pm. My sister used to skip school, run away from my mum, and was very vocal about how she hated moving here. So in the first two years of living here, I woke up every morning before school to screaming and yelling.
Moving here ruined my development because I now have no friends, I don't/can't leave the house because they're always home and have CCTV, I can't buy anything without their permission, I don't have control of my own bank account, I can't get a job, I have zero independence (they even track my phone because they pay the bill). I don't have access to my personal information like my passport or birth certificate because they keep it with them. I'm literally a helpless infant, and I don't know what to do... They say that they're putting money into my account every month, which they probably are, but it still doesn't excuse their abuse.
I have been stunted and infantilised. My dad is emotionally distant and pretty neglectful (I literally never speak to him), whilst my mum is overbearing, controlling and toxic. My dad never taught me how to be a man. Hell, he didn't even tell me to wash under my foreskin. I was taught fuck all about personal hygiene, finance, chores, cooking, sex, and even navigating my area (I don't even know how to use public transport). To make matters worse, they force me to hug them after i've expressed my anger, and they know my anger is directed at them, but I feel like they do this in an attempt to dissolve my anger through trauma bonding. I've understandably lost the majority of my friends, because I am boring. My soul is literally gone, I am dull, empty and numb. I have absolutely nothing to talk about, because i've not done anything interesting for the past 6-years and I haven't met any of them since I moved.
I'm so jealous of people on Instagram, and even my close friends who got to have their teenage years and are out having fun.
They give me the illusion of choice all the time ("do you want to help us with this"), which actually translates to "do this right now or go and work outside you ungrateful piece of shit." Countless times I've told them that I don't like working here, but they don't listen. They throw it back in my face. It's gotten to the point were i'm gaslighting myself, excusing their behaviour and telling myself "it's not that bad'. I'm going crazy. They literally don't take no for an answer. I vividly remember when my mum "asked" if I wanted to help her take out the rubbish, I tested the waters by saying no, but then she had a hissy fit and began getting verbally abusive.
They decided to buy me a MacBook so I could do my schoolwork downstairs, and they continue to force me to stay downstairs essentially 'on-call' during the hours that the shop is open. I'm literally 6 weeks behind on University work because I can't concentrate when i'm constantly being yelled at. My mum speaks to me like a 2-year old by constantly reminding me to check the cameras to see which customer came in, and yelling at me to help my dad if a customer buys something. If I ignore her, my entire family starts yelling at me or I get death stares. Just to put that into perspective, every single day for the past 3 years I have been forced to sit downstairs on the sofa for 12+ hours, and I only get 2-3 hours of free-time in my room when the shop closes (so the entire day I can't go to my room or go to the bathroom without being texted to come downstairs and yelled at). My mum screams at me every morning by storming into my room, and telling me to go and help my dad in the shop, I'm so angry, because my life and soul has literally been sucked and robbed from me. I feel paralysed, and everyday is like groundhog day. I can't remember when I was genuinely happy. My teenage years have been stolen from me. My house feels like a concentration camp. It's like i'm being slowly tortured through energy drainage.
In all honesty, my childhood was pretty good until I turned 13 (this was when I was in my old house) (i'm 19 now btw). I remember some classic narcissistic and trauma inducing lines that my mum used to say to me when I was a young child, "what would you do if I died tomorrow?" or "I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it". She was still overprotective, but it was understandable because I was a little kid. I do believe that my parents love me unconditionally, and sometimes I wonder if their toxic behaviour is because of the stress of owning a business, but it was their choice. However, their interests do not align with mine, and I feel like they are shoe-horning and controlling my life.
Before I moved, my dad was always working and my mum raised me, but when I turned 13 both of my parents were home all the time. My mum is extremely two-faced, she's a complete bitch to me when my dad is in the shop, and whenever he comes into the house she gets up from the sofa (she watches TV) and paces around to do something like wash the dishes to show that she's not useless. Whenever my dad is in the vicinity she acts sweet to me. They both baby me too and treat me like an infant with forced hugs and kisses. They experienced trauma as kids, and now they are doing it to me. However, they are both push-overs, and incredibly slow in terms of intelligence (i'm not trying to brag or call myself smart, because i'm not) so if I take initiative and show that I know what i'm doing, I can easily block them out.
They criticise me for not knowing how to do chores, and not doing anything with my life, but they don't give me the chance to do anything when i'm slaving around all day in THEIR business. I don't have a choice... They think that they own me, and that they have the right to control my life. I desperately want to get out of here, and cut them off.
I really want to move out, but everything is so fucking expensive. It's impossible... Who is going to hire me when I am socially inept, have no degree, and I have no employability skills? I don't have a fucking choice. There are sub-steps to getting a job (like sorting out your finances which I don't have access to). I dream of being independent, but I can't take the abuse anymore and i'm overwhelmed. I am so irritable everyday, I cannot control my anger anymore and start kicking things. You guys know all too well, that you can't express your anger in a narcissistic household. My only hope is moving out with a friend and working part-time, but how am I supposed to rent out a place to stay with no money? My dad puts money into my bank account but he has full-access to that.
So the financial control is what they use to make me be obedient. They always give me the line of "do what we say or go outside and work". They know that I have terrible social skills because they've stunted me, but they use this line to keep me stuck. It's my way or the highway.
Right now my nmum is talking behind my back about how I do nothing all day and refuse to help them. She's playing the victim and trying to convince my sister who is brainwashed by her and completely oblivious to the abuse.
I believe that my mum is a narcissist, and my dad is an enablenarcissist. My mum ran away from her mum who was a narcissist. My dad lost both of his parents at birth, and came here illegally. They've provided for me financially, but that's the bare minimum that parents should do. So i'm not excusing their shitty parenting. I don't know why these people don't think before having unprotected sex. First of all, they have shitty genetics so they never should have reproduced, and they've treated me like a prisoner.
I feel like a prisoner, and i'm at my wits end. I'm torn between suicide (which i'm too much of a coward to actually follow through with) or sticking it out and by some miracle escaping this hellhole. I have dreams that I cannot pursue (which I don't have innate talent for), and it's making me even more mad. It's not my fucking responsibility to help in their business. Just let me live my own life.
One part of me wants to do shit and improve the situation, but the other part just wants to procrastinate and do nothing because it's comfortable and because I want to do things perfectly, I don't try.
The only day that the shop closes is Christmas Day. So 364 days a year, the shop is open from 7am-9pm and i'm forced to sit downstairs with an imaginary gun to my head. It's like i'm being held hostage.
What makes things worse is that I hate everything about myself, so that's another reason why I want to die. I'm 5"1 and 19M, I have sick looking yellow skin with horrible eczema, I have shitty thick black dry hair, I'm so skinny, I have phimosis, I hate my voice, and I look like an 8-year old. I probably have depression, anxiety, and untreated ADHD, as well as C-PTSD.
I have one memory of abuse from my dad which I wrote down in my journal. Every few days he brings supplies for the shop and puts them in the van. He told me to go to the van and bring something, and I couldn't find it. There was a customer and he (my dad) was at the till, he got angry because I couldn't find the thing so he started swearing at me and shouting at me in front of the customer. He then dragged me by my shirt in anger in front of the customer. Neither of my parents are physically abusive (now that i'm an adult, they used to be physically abusive when I was younger), but they are extremely verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abusive. They love to complain about how i'm inept, and how i'm an adult only when it works for them. If I question them i'm a child. They taught me nothing. I use YouTube, Reddit and Google to learn basic shit that they didn't teach me.
I've made journals to document times that my parents have been abusive so I don't gaslight myself. I have digital notes of things that I can do to improve my appearance, to get out of here, my goals, routines so that I can stay sane and not depressed all the time. But it feels impossible to implement anything when i'm drained of energy.
Sorry if I offend anyone who believes in God, but seriously fuck him! Why did I get the worst luck? Shitty family, shitty parents, shitty location, shitty genetics, shitty everything! I'm so jealous of everyone I see on Instagram, and anyone who doesn't experience this shit.
I have so much repressed anger.
Any advice or links to Escape guides are appreciated. My situation is so different to the majority of peoples', and i've not seen many instances of this which makes me feel like i'll have to stick it out.
But i'm struggling to endure the abuse. I can't do this shit anymore, i'm so broken that I don't know myself. I'm torn between sticking it out and having a shitty life, or taking the hard road and living a life that I want that's better, but it feels impossible because I feel incompetent.
Everyday feels like groundhog day. It's literally the same shit everyday, and I can predict what i'll be doing for the next month right now, the same as today and always. It's soul-destroying. I feel like a prisoner who's being tortured for eternity...
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2020.11.20 19:52 jCrymson Cctv sex clips
Now this isn't the musings of some "I'm born in the wrong generation" kid or some old head who doesn't understand them darn kids. But, I honestly don't understand the hype behind popular music such as the modern day pop, trap, rock, country, etc. Especially with artists like Meg The Stallion, BOTDF, or K Pop like BTS. Meg's music literally sounds like the same thing to me. Sex. Random Anime reference. Sex. Maybe a little money. Back to sex. And, I still don't get the hype behind BTS. I know music is subjective, but when I am asked about if I enjoy the genre they do by friends, family, etc I tell them no and why (without demeaning them or the artists) and I get treated like a pariah.
I don't get it! Music is subjective. Some people love classical, trap, country, or even the white noise of an old CCTV.
Just cause I don't want to listen to some random chick rap about how blank her blank is and how every blank thirsts for it, don't mean I some how look down on female artists, hate my own race, etc.
I honestly don't understand the mindset of people now and days when it comes to media.
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2020.11.16 02:31 Reccognize Cctv sex clips
Much has been said about Nichol seeming a bit suspicious. With "the clock stopped" on the case once Chris confessed, she stopped being looked at. What do you think about her possible involvement? I think the following items are particularly suspicious elements of her behavior:
2020.11.14 09:40 Flatlinezor Girlfriend is an ex member, but wants to join again
I love my girlfriend and we are together for 2 months now. She turns 31 in a few days. She has 2 kids, from a previous marriage with a European guy. You can guess, she has been raised since childhood as an INC member until 24 years old, when she married the guy and the church banished her. (The guy was clever not to convert as we all know here how unhealthy INC is mentally) Her mom died long ago, her father is not a member(only recently kicked out for reasons I won't share) and as far as I know the brother either (educated guy, catholic, not INC whixh is good news, confirmed).
They divorced 5 years later in 2019 because the guy has been screwing half the Philippines beside her, while living in Europe. The girl moved to Europe right after the wedding at age 24 and has been living here since, so no INC for 6 years as far as I am aware. She strongly believes that her marriage did not work out because the guy wasn't an INC member after all. The church obviously kicked her out for forsaking her beliefs as I mentioned earlier. (Thankfully, but I know she doesn't realize they did her a HUGE favor...)
Now, she has been trying to get back to INC after the divorce and since a year she has been attending everything normally (but claims she is not giving offerings) and she hasn't been accepted yet still. Moreover, her INC friends told me she probably won't be accepted again now as they are all aware she is dating me quite seriously. She is not even supposed to be over at my place, let alone have sex etc, you all know the doctrine, which she all does regardless against it and her kids love me as well. I think it's a very fortunate thing that the application is still pending, however I have trouble extending the relationship further without knowing whether she will be able to drop this nonsense completely or not. She has a group of friends of INC that are seemingly with her to be happy but I am sure they are also trying to talk her out of it because of their precious doctrine. (I don't realize any of this by the way as they are not openly hostile or anything. They asked a few times to try bible study and I did once but nothing since. She holds hands in public, lives a somewhat normal life with me, apart from the WS every 2 times a week.)
And another group of friends who are completely with me on she having to drop this because first of all, pursuing this in Europe is a disaster and if she gets to be an INC member again, she surely won't find anyone accepting 2 stepkids and according to their rules, she will stay a single mom forever as within INC she cannot remarry again. Plus by default, finding someone, who is an INC member and single would be relatively hard here on top of this, Filipino or local European also. These "normal" friends are 100% aware just like me that she doesn't need INC to have salvation and be happy and most importantly because I love her and they all hope that she will snap out of it.
She asked me to convert but I told her it would not be genuine and she would know so it's not something I want to do. And honestly, after I did so much research on INC for weeks, I am 100% sure I don't want to join or do anything with it apart from trying to protect everyone I love from it as INC is so clearly and blatantly a fraud. Faith is a beautiful thing and I am 100% supporting her to have it BUT not through some false "church" of Filipino businessmen's agenda, but her own Bible interpretation and open heart for the love of God. INC controls fear so well like politicians do and it's incredibly alarming that she has been to the point of trying to get back to this cancer...i just hope she wants to because she has never been told she should not. I am very sure she will be attacked, mocked and guilt tripped by her INC friends for this and if that happens, she should realize herself something is very wrong. It should be recognized as "not too Christian or Godly". I think the worst part for her would be actually losing those "friends"...
Plus she identifies GOD with INC which , while it's a personality cult of Manalo and is also clearly a bad thing as she has absolutely 0 knowledge of other religions which are a lot more about forgiving and love their members unconditionally and a lot less about keeping military order like presence within the members, worshipping a LIVING PERSON . I mean, during webex, they are CCTV'd, they are social pressured to do the WS service and do offerings (still not convinced she doesn't but I believe her) and so on, it's madness how cult like everything is in INC and the members behavior and she doesn't realize... Once again, faith is a beautiful thing and I am 100% supporting her to have it BUT not through some false "church".
I got to LJ Caraang's channel which has lots of nice material, plus this subreddit, to gather infos and try to convince her that she has been lied to since childhood but you can imagine the blank stare face and not having any conversation about this, as she is has been over-and-over told the same crap again, almost completely brainwashed about it. After that I knew it's something very deep as she did not say anything, just listened to what I say and showed 0 emotions. Zero conversation. Very futile looking.
She could exist for 6 years without the religion but even if I tell her many times the previous guy was just being an unfaithful "guy"(67y now) and fucked around and that has nothing to do with whether he wasn't INC or not, she still doesn't hear it. She loves me, that's a fact (I hope) but I never had to deal with so extreme mind control so I need input to handle this the best way for her kids and her. Her kids are not affected too badly as the kids speak the local language here and she doesn't speak it good enough to ap oint that she could harm them with INC, plus the kids don't speak tagalog much or good enough English, so they cannot attend the studies to allow time for INC to get in their heads fortunately. I think I have a fair-to-moderate chance of getting her to realize this is bullshit and if she wants a safe future with me and her kids, she should drop it as it'll never work here in Europe plus her family's salvation is on the line that is !NOT! through INC... And she should care about her kids the most and not let them have the same crap going on as with her.
She loves the church so much she said that is the most important thing for her now, I sometimes feel she'd even abandon the kids for it if needed...which is VERY alarming for me and that was the moment I started to really question whether this is "normal" or not and of course it is not. Yes, she is not the sharpest tool in the box regarding asking questions and being investigative and doubting anything people say to her. Most of her INC friends are very similar, for a reason obviously. Fear and years long indoctrination... She completely lacks any intention of checking facts or doing her own objective thinking as most of the material they preach to them are hand selected from different set of bibles to keep on the usual agenda of keeping the members "obey and shut up" since childhood. She never had a chance. Now she does. I am almost sure she doesn't even own a bible actually! Which is insane, to be spoonfed lies without checking and just believing anything without proof. Faith should not be told how to do...even the bible says that if you hate someone, you are a liar as god loves everyone, so INC stating "if you are not with us, you are against us" is a wolf in sheep's clothing exactly as INC is very clearly bashing other religions to the point it should be so obvious to members its cancerous but still they stay... I became probably 1000x times more educated on what INC isnin a few days than she isnsince childhood, know more about it and see through it a lot better for obvious reasons, I have an objective perspective. It's precious time but if this saves our relationship and her from the shackles of INC, then it was worth it. Countless hours of fact checking, videos, I even opened the bible first time in my life to check the inconsistencies hihlighted everywhere about INC. And this is sad as SHE is the one who should be knowing all this, investigating this, not me.
Should I just not pry on the topic and let everything go as it is, even if I die a bit in my soul every time she does the worship service online on Thursdays and Saturdays? Especially when she cries of the hysterical-theatrical bullshit the tagalog version provides, while she tells me she feels closer to god that time and it's a "good cry"...? And just keep on hoping her INC application will be pending so long that I can actually marry her before she gets accepted or something and then she drops it? I don't think so.
I believe clearing it up right away would be the best solution, to somehow, with all the material and research I did, presenting it to her and with love, convincing her that she will be okay, more than okay, actually FREE finally and have a loving relationship without boundaries... But I want to be free of this looming sword over my hear, to have a happy life for us and our future kid as she is perfect in almost every other way. The decision will be hers on whether she wants it or not.
In a way, I may be "godsend" for her at the perfect moment, not to "let" her rejoin this madness. Not like I want to save someone who doesn't want to be saved but still, I hope she will look at it like that and trust me enough as she did the original husband to cut ties with INC.
Any insight or question I am happy to answer, thanks!
Talk on Tuesday, I just dont have the heart to do this on her birthday, so Tuesday it is. She kindof knows that it will be about INC and our future not compatible with it as she really wanted to know what is it about at least even if I dont share it rigth away. She did not seem hostile or shocked but this is not time to be cautiously optimistic about the outcome yet.
Unsuccessful :( she hasnt made a decision yet, havent even cried. Cant phrase how she feels and just hugs and stares into empty space. I am almost sure she will choose the church although any sane person would at least doubt it. Also she gave offerings, by herself, which was shocking to me... And still is. Every fucking worship service. She claims she can re marry though inside the church...?
_------------ submitted by Flatlinezor to exIglesiaNiCristo [link] [comments]
2020.10.26 17:03 Pristine-Engine4388 Cctv sex clips
PART 3 - FINALE. I wasn’t sure if what he had said had really gotten through to my traumatized mind so I jumped in and interrupted.
'MEN?!!? PEOPLE?!' I questioned, not letting him get a response in before going off on a tangent.
'NO, ITS JUST ONE GUY, HE SAID HIS NAME WAS DAVE, HE TRIED TO TAKE ME LAST WEEK AND NOW HE CAME BACK TO FINISH THE JOB! BUT HE TOOK JESS INSTEAD AND ITS ALL MY FAULT. PLEASE YOU HAVE TO FIND HIM AND GET HER BACK! PLEASE!' I started to get frustrated, Time was running out and we didn’t have time to spare.
In all honestly, I felt like I was responsible for not telling my parents about ‘Dave’ in the first place so I was desperate to get Jess home safe.
Agent Johnson held his hand up dismissively to calm my outburst and made sure I was listening before he continued.
'The man you described..’ He sighed, in what felt like a bit of shame.
‘His name isn’t 'Dave' .. His name is Damian Ramsey...’ He took another pause and sighed again as if trying to find the words whilst his gaze was aimed at the floor
‘He is a criminal informant of the bureau'
Our eyes all widened, this was getting more and more bizarre. My mum went ballistic as you can imagine.
Saying that this man tried to force his way into our home last week, to do god only knows what to me and now we find out he works for the FBI!
She was appalled and outraged but my father managed to settle her down. He, as well as everyone else,wanted to know more.
The agent waited for the room to settle again before he continued.
'He was originally a part of the gang we are investigating. They are known as 'The Swarm'.
I couldn’t help but think back to the butterfly symbol when he said their name. A knot tightened in my gut.
‘They are a ruthless clandestine network of human traffickers who are responsible for a large percentage of violent crime all over the country. Kidnappings, Child Abductions, Murders, Torture, Extortion, Blackmail.. you name it.'
He sighed once again and took on a defeated look the more he delved in on the subject.
‘They have kidnapped over 700 people some as young as 18 month, and that is just what we know of. The victims mainly are traded, for large amounts of money, to some of the sickest people on the planet.
The ones who cant be sold are often traded into prostitution or modern day slavery. In some of the more high profile cases, They have slaughtered entire families if their target couldn’t be taken quietly, unlike Jessica was this evening.’
I, along with everyone else, listened with pure disgust. I really thought it was bad Jessica being taken by this Ramsey character. But oh my god, this was becoming so much worse.
The agent spoke again.
‘These monsters don’t stop there. Some people are taken and are made into torture or snuff videos to be sold on the black market.’
‘or if its a kid from a rich family they even use these horrific methods to extort ransom money from the victims family.’
Jessica’s mum gasped and a little more of her soul left her body as her imagination tortured her already fragile mind.
'So what was this Ramsey character doing trying to assault my daughter if he’s a government asset!' my mum blurted out in a rage.
'Ramsey was what we call a 'spotter' for The Swarm. He would identify and stalk potential targets that seemed lucrative. ya know the types? Home-aloners, Tear-aways, Run-aways.’
‘These people would be trafficked and he also knew of people who scout for Rich Families to extort and blackmail by threatening their loved ones.’
‘Ramsey himself, was mainly part of the trafficking side of the operation. He told us the Gang would scout kids they could potentially take before obtaining photographs to advertise the target on the black market and secret online forums. If these adverts met a Buyers specific 'tastes'...’
The way he said that made the parents in the room recoil with nausea.
‘...Then the buyer would then offer to pay an obscene amount of money to the gang on delivery of the Target.’
‘And believe me it gets worse...with Ramsey’s information, we have discovered that these buyers aren’t what or who you’d think they’d be.’
He bit his bottom lip and clasped his hands together as if anticipating the impact of what he was going to say next.
‘They aren’t mentally disturbed sex offenders. Most of the time the Buyers are god damn CEOs, Judges, Senators, Politicians.. Jesus we even have some circumstantial evidence some high ranking cops are involved.’
‘We believe this organised group have direct links to some of the countries most rich and powerful elite. This is why this investigation is top secret and any links to it, at all, have to be kept internal. We have assets in the field who we need to keep safe.’
We couldn’t believe how dark this was turning. I could tell everyone was having a hard time grasping the reality of it all.
'Most of the members of the group tend to be extremely violent and all of the high ranking ones have a lot of sociopathic tendencies but ultimately together they are a well organised unit, who will do anything to further there interests.’
‘However, Ramsey.. well.. he was different. He didn’t care about the money or the power. That sick bastard had a 'taste' for the young ones himself. He often used his line of work to ‘satisfy’ his twisted needs. This eventually got him in some personal trouble with the law. He was arrested on suspicion of the rape and murder of a 5 year old boy in Atlanta a few years back.’
‘Oh boy, We had DNA evidence, Damning CCTV footage. We had that bastard dead to rights, literally. Georgia has the death penalty'. He said this like a soccer player who had just missed a last minute penalty.
Agent Johnson contempt for the man started to show as he continued with the story.
'It almost like the guy didn’t give a shit if he was caught! He wasn’t at all careful!
We were literally about the charge him when he got this-this smug look on his face. That stupid face of his! He turned and says to me with this real superficial arrogance, that made me want to snap his neck right then and then..’
I knew the tone of voice he was talking about. So assured. Like he was invincible.
Agent Johnson did his best to replicate Ramsey’s broad Georgia accent. 'Now you just what a cotton picking minute their agent, Now what if I could give you the biggest win of your pathetic career? Who cares about one little toddler who lets face it, was begging for what he got anyway? I could make you the biggest cat in the alley Agent Johnson'
When Johnson finished, he almost took on the look of Jessica’s mum. He looked defeated. He'd sold out this little boy who suffered horribly at the hands of this animal for nothing but for a few cheap wins. A few bad apples had faced charges but the tree so to speak was still standing. The Swarm were still out there. Ruining peoples lives.
'We agreed to drop the charges in regards to the child, in return for his co-operation and information that aided our ongoing investigation into this organised crime syndicate.’
‘In our defence, he gave a lot of information on the gangs methods. Sites they used on the deep web, places they would trade their 'livestock' as he called them, high profile buyers etc.
We are a lot more aware of there presence than we were 3 years ago. We were able to solve a lot of cold cases thanks to his insights. He knew dates, places, people, numbers, sites, accomplices... he was a god damn gold mine and 100% untouchable and the son of a bitch knew it! He never told us everything. He always held stuff back as insurance for him against future convictions.’
His gaze met mine when he said that last sentence. I now understood why he was so bold with me that day. He never once looked as if being caught bothered him.
‘Ramsey went on to secure a WITSEC agreement and we moved him to this area, safe house, immunity, new identity, the works. But we've come to learn tonight that when it comes to the people who we are dealing with here - There ain’t no such thing as Immunity.'
At the time, I wasn’t sure what that last comment meant but the agent continued before I could ask what he was talking about.
'We've had multiple reports on his behaviour since he became a CI. Just minor stuff up until today. Public Indecency, Assault, Drug Charges etc. However, any police reports or enquiries on him automatically set off a federal trip wire and the files become immediately encrypted to anyone except the bureau. This is to protect his identity and our investigation.’
Agent Rodriquez piped up for the first time, rising from his seat at our dining room table with a blue folder in his hand, stamped ‘CLASSIFIED’ in contrasting blood red ink.
'We first became aware of tonights events earlier today. A police report that was filed by a neighbour on the adjacent street.
He reported a man matching Ramsey’s description being dragged into the side door of white ford transit earlier today by two men dressed in all black. With, what he described as ‘creepy ass’ Easter Bunny masks.'
Agent Rodriguez backed up the FBIs theory by pulling out a photo from the blue file to show the adults in the room.
Greg, after receiving a non verbal que from Johnson, distracted me when this was happening by asking me for help with his Iphone. I knew it was some bullshit made up issue but I helped him anyway. I knew now, that whatever was being shown was bad.
The image whatever it was, made Jessica’s mum gasp. Burying her face into her husbands embrace. She broke once again into a sobbing shriek.
After placing the photo away and closing the folder, he continued giving the account of the neighbours police report on Ramseys kidnapping.
'He said the van had been lingering in the area with the engine running and the neighbour thought it looked suspicious as he'd seen the van had kept showing up in the area over the past week but no one ever got in or out and there was no roadworks going on in the area at the time to explain it.’
‘We believe Karma...and The Swarm, finally caught up with Ramsey. We’re not sure if they came here to find Ramsey and found Olivia, or if they came to take Olivia and caught Ramsey. Either way he belongs to them now. I’d have sympathy for the guy but maybe now that kid in Atlanta finally has some Justice.'
Rodriquez already realised that last comment likely wouldn’t go down well with Jessica’s parents and I noticed he was deliberately maintaining eye contact with Agent Johnson and agent Johnson alone. He realised he had just planted a pretty nasty seed in their already fractured minds about the fate of people who are taken by these people.
Oh and Incase you are wondering. I asked my mum about the photograph. My mum told me a few days after this event that the photo was a screenshot from a video found on a memory stick, that was delivered to a wealthy families home two years ago.
It had been taken into evidence during a high profile kidnapping of two young kids.
The image sounded horrifying.
It showed two terrified 6 year olds, sat on a couch with black tape across their mouths.
In between the two kids sat a man in all black clothes with his arms around the two boys in a non threatening way. She said it would be just like my father would put his arms me and my mum in our family photos. But the man wore a mask.
A Pink Easter Bunny mask.
The ears pointed straight up and flopped over just before the top. Totally Regular But it was the the eyes. They were made to look pure evil. They were the type of eyes that drain all sense of safety away from you when you look into them.
A threatening, horrifying glare, that my mum said she still sees from the shadows of her bedroom when she tries to sleep at night. In front of the couch was a table. On the table there was an array of tools.
Screwdrivers, Drills, Scalpels, Plyers, Bolt-cutters.
My mum continued to go into gut wrenching detail about the wounds the kids had before I asked her to stop and she gladfully obliged.
Once again, we hugged and said we loved each. We seem to do that a lot these days.
Agent Johnson continued his story but I noticed Agent Rodriguez received a call that he'd clearly been waiting for. He answered it with haste and left the room to speak.
I had a question. ‘When Da- I mean Ramsey, When Ramsey was trying to get me into my house. He got spooked by a drawing on our drive. I saw you two looking at it earlier. What is it?’ I asked.
Agent Johnson closed his eyes and nodded his head as if to signal he was just about to explain that before I interrupted him.
'The symbol at the bottom of your drive is the gangs brand marking. The symbol is a butterfly. You see, In the world of child sex trading, it symbolises that a buyer is in to very young girls. With this being the gangs niche we can only assume this is the origin of the symbol. Hence ‘The Swarm’. We tend to find this symbol branded onto the victims bodies a lot.'
'BRANDED? like with a hot iron??' Jessica’s Dad piped up He immediately wished he hadn't because as Agent Johnson reluctantly nodded, Jessica’s mum spirit broke, again.
'Our working hypothesis is that the gang came to town for business or to look for Ramsey.
Whilst here, maybe Olivia caught someones eye.
Walks home alone to an empty house. She looks young for her age. All the stuff that makes these sickos see Dollar Signs.
They would have obtained a photo or video then advertised it on a buyers forum on the hidden web or black market these gangs use. They will have received an offer from a buyer so then they will have begun to arrange the Snatch.
They will have been watching the Matthews house for a few days after to figure out your work schedules and your neighbours shedules etc.
Finding the best time to strike.
When everything is set up and a date is set, this is when they spray the symbol on the drive of the house. This is to signal to the 'snatchers' which is the house of the target.
They use yellow so it can be easily seen in the dark. In rare cases its also to claim the target too. Warn off other interested parties and avoid conflicts of ownership with a rival outfit. I’ll be frank though - Not many guys like to piss off The Swarm.'
I didn’t doubt that for one second.
'We believe the snatchers were there to take Olivia the day when Ramsey was trying to get into your house.
They must have spotted him with you and waited for him to take you inside, Where they could have nailed two birds with one stone.
But, he noticed the symbol and when he fled the scene after realising the gang could be watching, The stupid son of a bitch walked right into their grasp.'
Agent Johnson despite knowing his best source of information into the gang was now likely being branded with 256 degree hot metal and being mutilated with sharp tools by a bunch a psychotic easter bunnies.
He couldn’t help but replicate the expression of satisfaction Rodriguez had displayed earlier when they thought of the horrific things Ramsey was having done to him for betraying The Swarm.
I could tell he really felt better for the boy Ramsey killed in Atlanta. His current situation now gave him a bit of peace. What goes around, truly does come back around.
Agent Rodriguez re-entered the room and blurted 'WERE ON! I'm heading down now, I'll check in soon with a status update. Looks like we don’t need Ramsey after all. We could get these bastards tonight!'
He gave this with a slight head nod full of positivity. I couldn’t help feel my hopes to see Jessica alive again flutter upwards for the first time all night. I looked at the clock.
We had around 15 mins before the deadline to trade me for Jess was up.
'So what happens now, what are you doing to get my Jess back?!?!' Jessica’s mum erupted after pulling herself together.
'Well we've been trying to trace the Cell number the gang called on to try locate Jessica but its taking a little longer than anticipated, However our surveillance team have been in position at the warehouse where the caller told us the switch would go down.
2 minutes ago a white van, matching the description of your statement, pulled up. We are just waiting for the golden approval from our Strategic Firearms Commander to move in and take down the men at the drop.
We need the order in case we need to use lethal force. Rodriguez is on his way down now so If they’ve brought Jessica to the meet, we will have her back home soon I promise you guys!'
I could tell he was trying to convince himself as much as he was anyone else.
Something really didn’t feel right to me.
When me and my mum talked this night over a few days later, she told me she’d had the exact same worry.
This gang have evaded capture for years and sounded as if they have the local police networks potentially in their pocket. There was no way arresting them and getting Jessica back was going to be as simple as they made out.
The silence and tension in the room was killing me, so I asked Agent Johnson a question in private, that I really wished I’d kept to myself.
'What is so special about me Agent? Me and Jessica are always being mistook for the other. People say we are like twins. Why are they so desperate to trade me for her? What’s the difference?' I knew it was a selfish question on the bare face of it but I was genuinely curious at this point.
He looked at my mum for approval to answer honestly. She nodded. 'Yes, the fact you and Jessica look alike meant they grabbed her instead of you in the dark by mistake. They wouldn’t have known she was in the house as you entered through the back garden today according to your initial statement and the Van always watched the front. On the recording the Man said that they presented the buyer with a video of Jess after the mix up but he said she looked too old and was ‘too much on the bigger side’. He wanted you because you looked 'Ripe' and wore the Pigtails well. It had to be you... or no deal.'
That made me feel sick.
My mum shot a look at Agent Johnson to scold him for being a little too honest with the wording of things.
Agent Johnson did his best to pull back his error in judgement by adding that likely if I was the one to go down stairs and they tried to take me then maybe they could have killed Jess to make sure there were no loose ends.
He added that if I was the one to be taken I would be being traded as we speak and there’d be no opportunity to save me like we have with Jessica, right now.
I could tell he wasn’t the best when dealing with younger people so I humoured him and acted as if I was actually seeing the bright side of the situation. I could tell he felt better.
We smiled at each other. I could tell he felt as if he’d done good now with the way he gave me and my mum a friendly wink. I think and still to this day that Agent Johnson was a good man overall.
Our brief lighthearted moment was blown apart by Agent Johnsons Radio Handset Crackling to Life.
'AGENTS DOWN, I REPEAT AGENTS ARE DOWN, STATUS ZERO!, THERE DEAD, THERE ALL DEAD!, I REPEAT STATUS ZERO!'
Everyone in the house, just dropped what they were doing and focused on the harrowing dialogue coming through the device in Agent Johnsons trembling hand. I could tell he was trying to remain calm for our benefit.
'Rodriguez, what is happening ?? where are the targets ?? Where is the girl?!' The 5 seconds of silence felt like hours as we all crowded round awaiting the news.
'Its a god damn massacre Johnson! The van, It was a god damn diversion! There’s 4 bodies here! two in the front seat of the surveillance van and the vehicle is on fire! Its blown to shit!'
He took a moment to cough the smoke out of his lungs before he finished the update.
'The other two are laying face down in the dirt by van tire marks. Oh my god their throats have been slit wide open! Jesus its a god damn blood bath, Bill! Jesus Christ, there’s no pulse!'
Judging by Agent Johnsons facial expressions, He came to a horrific realisation.
'4 bodies?!.. There was a team of 5?! Where’s the fifth man?!?!'
‘Oh god damn! Daniels!!? Agent Daniels, If you’re here make yourself know Agent - THATS AN ORDER!!’
Both agents tones were panicky, desperate and short of breath.
For the first time tonight, I feel the two men truly empathized with what Jessicas parents were feeling.
Now I’m older I have my own theory about what happened to the surveillance team that night outside that warehouse. I imagine the gang had no intentions of making a trade and Jess was never with them. They wanted to lure me to the site under the false sense of security being under FBI escort.
They likely had a unit already in place to take out anyone at the meet and they were planning to take me by force whilst tying up a lot of loose ends at the same time. Agent Johnson did in fact say it would be there sort of MO.
I believe the gang had seen the surveillance team arrive and park up, they then waited. When the time was right , they Drove the van in to the middle of the dirt road outside the warehouse as a Diversion.
I think a group of men armed with weapons lay in wait inside the vehicle. Once the FBI got the golden approval from the SFC, 3 armed agents got out the FBI vehicle and approached the Van with guns drawn.
Maybe at this time another group of Swarm members attacked the Vehicle with a Molatov cocktail or Grenade. The hot explosion, and the sound of their colleagues screaming in agony pulling at their burning skin and clothes, caused the men approaching the van to turn their back on it.
This gave the group in the van a chance to jump out and kill 2 of the 3 Federal agents and Kidnap the other.
I guess we will never know what truly happened but after 5 years of going over it in my head, that’s the most plausible scenario I can think of.
There was maybe an hour or so that passed by since the Incident. Mainly filled by Jessica’s mum screaming at the agents, wailing and shrieking where her little girl was and what they were doing to get her back.
Agent Johnsons superior called him to lose his shit and asked him what on earth possessed two decorated agents to send a team of just 5 people to take down the most dangerous organised crime group in north America.
Johnson attempted to justify his actions by saying too many agents may have got them detected by the gang and cost them their chance of taking them down and saving Jessica.
I would have felt bad for the guy, if not trying to pull my head out of oblivion. The realisation that I am likely never going to see my best friend again was a blow I wasn’t ready for.
When people ask me what the darkest time of my life was. It was this hour. The uncertainty. The waiting.
The time between learning our last hope to get my friend back was gone, and awaiting to hear what had become of a hardworking agent, who was just doing his job. And, of course my best friend who had never done anything other than be nice to everyone she'd ever met.
The anxiety and dread pulled my insides into knots they I never thought could be undone.
And then, our landline phone rang..
The same process as before with the tech guys setting up the recording and listening devices whilst once again attempting to trace the call.
Only this time Agent Johnson picked up the phone.
He wasn’t in the mood for games.
'Where is my Agent? You hand them BOTH over now and we can talk about a deal. You hurt either one of them and I promise, I will pursue you to full extent of my ability with the entire backing of the Federal Bureau of Investigation!'
The only headset was being worn by one of the FBIs Profilers. So Agent Rodriquez hit the speaker button so he could hear the mans words and what he was saying about the missing Agent.
I look back now and wish he hadn’t done that. What I heard over the next 7 minutes is forever burned into my head.
A drawn out Virginian accent came over the speaker. 'Now come on Agent, You've been doing that for 3 years now. And your still seen as a failure in your department and we are still going strong. Not even that little Rat you had working for ya could help you.’
‘You give me back my agent and the girl you sick bastards!’ Johnson snapped.
A clown like cackle burst from the speaker. ‘Well ain’t that cute! you allowed a child being raped and murdered to go unpunished. Just so you could further your investigations. And you call us the monsters?! Pfft, Typical Lawman.'
I couldn’t help Sympathise as I could tell this struck Agent Johnsons nerves.
In a sense the Man was right. Its hard to defend the hypocrisy of the justice system at times. Johnson traded the life of the boy Ramsey killed for a tick in the win column in this investigation. I knew Agent Johnson had been haunted by what he did for a long time. He barely had a comeback.
'Besides we're way past making deals. We gave you a chance to make a deal. Girl for the Girl and you tried to trap us. So now your going to feel the consequences of your actions.'
The man took a pause and said something that made all our hearts wrench.
'And then we're going to come get the one we want. Whatever means necessary. We're done pussyfooting around and we got a lot riding on that little girl you got there'
My mum and dad held me as if to give me some sort of feeling of being safe. Jessica’s mum looked at us and I swear I saw her look for Jessica to give her the same reassuring hug.
For the 10th today I saw her spirit break that little bit more.
Another pause and a few inaudible noises before we heard the agonized screams of a man.
The agent. But there was something about his groans of pain. It was off.
'Daniels?! Daniels Its Johnson. Shout out anything that can help us locate you! What do you see?! Give me something!'
'Oh he won't be able to do that unfortunately. you see, we thought you might try something like that, being a crafty fed and everything, so we ripped his tongue out.'
He said that with a coldness that had a lot of us taken back.
You could see that broke Agent Johnson. Knowing his judgement and decisions had this man in this situation. A family man with 2 kids, who should be home right now, watching the Lakers take on the Raptors in the playoffs with a cold beer. Right before he tucks the boys in goodnight after a day of fighting the bad guys of the world.
Instead he is being held against his will.
Beaten, tortured and mutilated.
'Don't worry though, Agent. Things will stop being cut and ripped off this gentleman, if he just writes down on this paper what we want to know.'
We all looked at Agent Johnson before my Dad asked 'What is he talking about?' 'THAT IS GOD DAMN CLASSIFIED' he snapped.
'Of course ya know 'BILL'...' The use of Agent Johnsons first name visibly startled him. The man continued. ‘Of course you could put your man out of a lot of misery and suffering. If you just give me the name that I want. You have my word Lawman, I’ll put a bullet in him right now. No more games. But if you don't...’
He took a deliberate pause to allow the gravity of his innuendo to hit the agents imagination.
‘Well lets just say he’s got ten toes and 5 fingers he doesn’t need in order for him to write a name on a little piece of paper... And if needs must, there’s two rows of pearly whites here to play with'
'I AM NOT HANDING OVER ANOTHER INNOCENT FOR YOU PSYCHOS TO JUST BUTCHER!' Agent Johnson exploded. His eyes now glazed over with tears of torment.
There was another horrific 5 second pause before the man took a deep inhale though his nose.
'Fair does Bill, Fair does. Have it your way.'
The dull drawn out shrieks of Agent Daniels tongueless mouth screeched though our landline as he was dragged off out of the audio range of the call.
It was hard to tell with no pronunciation but we were all pretty sure he was screaming the words 'Please' and 'No'. We all could tell his was sobbing too.
I didn’t think this night could get any worse.
Then the speaker projected the mans voice again.
‘Now then. Put Jessica’s mum on the phone please.'
We all gasped. Our Eyes widened and I felt my pupils dilating. There is no way this was going to be good. Jessica’s Mum took the receiver from Agent Johnson. She was already fighting back tears. These people did not care however.
She dived right in. 'Hello, Please.. Please just give me my little girl back. She’s a sweet little girl who hasn’t done anything wr-'
'MUMMY!!! MUMMYYYYY' Jessica’s voice interrupted her mothers feeble attempt at appealing to the kidnappers better nature. These people did not have one.
'Oh my god baby, Yes I am here. Every things going to be okay! I'm here and we are going to get you home I promise.'
The Man came back on the phone. 'Hello Mrs Adams. I need you to know that this isn’t anything personal. Its Just business.'
Scrap what I said earlier. THIS RIGHT HERE. This was the worst moment of my life. This was when we all knew.
'This isn’t the way I wanted it to go down. Honestly.’ He almost sounded sincere. ‘The FBI have stepped on our toes one too many times and they have made us very angry. A message needs to be sent. I hope you understand. Oh, please tell the Matthews family that we'll see them very soon. That debt is still owed. And we will collect.'
Jessica’s mum knew at this point what was to come. All she could do was to find the strength to try and comfort her little girl and be there for her in what was no doubt unimaginable hell for her.
The image of her shaken frame and tears bursting from her eyes will forever stay with me. To her credit she did her best to remain strong.
Telling Jessica everything would be ok.
She started to sing her the lullaby down the phone, from when Jess was 5 years old and under the weather. The song always made her feel better. Every kid has that one song their mum sings to them when they need comfort and warmth. I hope it gave Jess some sense of her mother’s presence in those last moments.
I think I'd have a lot more issues than I do now, had Agent Rodriquez not acted as quick as he did.
He dived over the dinning room table to switch off the speaker phone just as the sound of an Electric drill revved to life and Jessica began to scream in abject terror.
We all watched Jessica’s mum attempt to hold herself together. Tears leaking for her eye sockets. Jessica’s father embraced her mother in a state I’d never seen him in before.
We all watched the last of her soul shatter as she sang 'Hush Little Baby, Don’t you cry' into the phone as Jessica screamed in pure agony for her mum and dad to come save her from the bad men.
She stayed with Jessica until the very end. We never heard another voice on the line after the screaming stopped. The phone went dead almost immediately after. Jessica’s mum collapsed when the caller hung up.
A unit arrived shortly after the call went dead. It was from the US Federal Witness Protection Programme. They gave my family all new identities and relocated us out of the country.
Apparently that was also part of the document we signed earlier. We weren’t safe anymore and needed to disappear. I cant give much more detail on this for obvious reasons.
It was just our family that had to go missing.
The FBI concluded it was unlikely The Swarm would come for Jessica’s parents. They’d hurt them enough.
We said our emotion packed goodbyes and offered what fatuous condolences we could muster.
We packed our essential items in the 10 minutes we had before a black sedan came to collect us with a swat team escort sandwiching our ride.
I watched my home for the last 13 years, fade away into the distance as Me and my parents embarked on our new life, away from this nightmare.
Apparently whilst we were being removed from the country, the FBI finally traced the call made to our landline. It lead to a remote location way off the grid just outside of our town. The FBI and Evidence Response Team followed up to some old abandoned storage facility. There, they found the remains of three bodies.
Daniels, Ramsey and Jess.
We were told one was totally dismembered. One was hanging by their neck from barbed wire attached to the roof support beams and the other had been drowned in boiling hot oil.
They didn’t tell us which was which but when Jessica’s Mum went to Identify her body, that was the final straw.
She committed suicide the next day by overdosing on her prescription Diazepam.
Her father is reportedly still alive but by all accounts he's turned to a life of Alcohol and Anti Depressants.
Our handler says she doubts he'll see out the year at the rate he is going. It always hurts to hear the lasting damage of this horrendous event. I hope they all find each other again some day.
Me and my family have settled now in our new home. We are making a go at a normal life but we will all be forever moulded by the events of that one night.
I won’t walk anywhere alone. I have severe separation anxiety and its effected a lot of my romantic relationships. I can’t keep a boyfriend for longer than a month as I can’t talk to any of my boyfriends about my issues and where they stem from as its against my WITSEC agreement.
Our case handler says we are the luckiest people she’s ever met and we need to embrace this gift we have been given. We are the only family to ever be targeted by The Swarm and make it out alive.
All the other families out there like me and my parents weren’t as fortunate.
I doubt id use the words 'lucky' and ‘fortunate’ Our handler wasn't there that night listening to those people die in some dark dingy old building screaming for mercy. But at the same time, I do get where she is coming from.
I always read the online news articles for my old town and surrounding states to keep an eye on the alarming number of rising missing person cases. It’s horrifying. Mainly young girls too, who just vanish from their homes and neighbourhoods without a trace. The Swarm is responsible, I know it.
Even though, I am told I am safe now, and getting on with the rest of my life. I always find myself coming back to three things from that night.
1- The look of Jessica’s mums heart breaking as she sung her baby to sleep for the final time. A moment that haunts me on dark nights.
2- The last moment me and Jessica shared together before she was taken. That lingering warm smile we gave each other as she stood in my bedroom doorway. A treasure I truly hold dearly on those same dark nights.
And, 3. The comment Agent Johnson quoted about Damon Ramsey in regards to his own WITSEC agreement protecting him from The Swarm....
‘When it comes to these people that were dealing with. There’s no such thing as Immunity’
Please if submitted on your channel credit as THE WHITE VAN MAN
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2020.10.26 15:55 septemberfriars Cctv sex clips
On April 29, 2017, 27-year-old beautician, Magdalena Zuk, supposedly jumped to her death in the Egyptian beach resort town of Marsa Alam. She died just three days into a week-long package holiday, in circumstances that have aroused suspicion in her home country. Within days, her name was at the center of one of the biggest stories of its kind to hit Poland in years, with her death linked to a range of allegations running the gamut from murder to sex trafficking.
Magdalena was supposed to travel to Egypt with her boyfriend, Markus, in honor of his birthday, but at the last minute it turned out his passport was expired. Their trip was scheduled for Tuesday April 25. They checked to see if an exception could be made for his travel, but it couldn't. Four hours before flight time, Markus posted on Facebook trying to sell his ticket. When no one bought the ticket, Magdalena decided to fly alone.
She landed in Hurghada and from there drove to the resort in Marsa Alam, staying at the Three Corners Equinox Beach Resort.
Contact with her was very spotty from the start. Family was getting weird text messages with questions like, "where are you? come to me". Messages were being sent from the phone of an employee at the travel agency, Mahmoud K. There were pictures of Magdalena seemingly sick in bed, covering her face, and seemingly passed out on the floor.
She finally called her family and was very incoherent saying she thinks someone may have put something in her drink.
The family states that she had no history of mental health issues and no one else in the family does either.
Her family contacted the travel agency and embassy. Her boyfriend contacted their friend Maciej so he could fly to Egypt to get her.
Wednesday evening her state was getting worse. On Thursday employees of the travel agency and hotel staff were trying to comfort and help her.
Her boyfriend heard about her worsening state and bought the first ticket he could to get her home. On Friday morning tourists found her unconscious in the hotel. Staff recorded her and sent the video to her family to show how bad she was.
From the hotel room they took her to a local hospital but no one helped because they said they do not treat mental problems. A doctor states she wouldn't even get out of the car, but there is footage of her walking into the hotel relatively calmly.
She eventually went back to the hotel. On Saturday an employee from the travel agency checked her out from the hotel and they went to the airport.
Due to her increasingly erratic behavior, she wasn’t allowed to board the plane. and was taken to a private hospital for the night while a friend travelled from Poland to take her home. Some reports say she was screaming and trying to take her clothes off, others say she appeared drunk. CCTV footage from the hospital shows Zuk lashing out at staff and attempting to run away as they try and restrain her. She was confined to a private room and tied to a bed with linen after she made several attempts to jump out the window, according to the director of the hospital, Dr Mohamed Samy Gomaa.
When a nurse untied her so she could use the bathroom, she broke free, and arming herself with a drip stand, ran to the window, and threw herself out from the second floor, landing on a flight of concrete steps. She was rushed to the larger Red Sea Hospital, 180 miles north in the port city of Hurghada, but died a few hours later. Her death was recorded as suicide, although it’s unclear if she was trying to escape or was in the grips of a psychotic episode. Although tragic, Gomaa says it was “just a normal accident”.
The Polish press wasn’t convinced, and a series of questionable reports began fueling rumors on social media. The Polish tabloid Pudelek ran a story headlined “27-year-old Pole MURDERED IN EGYPT!” incorrectly stating that she had been found in her room with mysterious head injuries. The story included allegations made by Zuk’s sister that she had been date-raped, while the tabloid Fakt wrote that although she had fallen from the window, she must have been unconscious at the time because she had only sustained injuries on her left side.
In Poland the rumors continue. Many of them center around a 13-minute video of Zuk’s last conversation with her boyfriend. Filmed from a separate phone, it shows Marcus’ half of a FaceTime call made just hours before she fell from the window. She appears distressed, babbling incoherently, and begging Marcus to come and get her. When he asks what happened, she answers cryptically with the letter “M”. The video ends when her tour guide, Mahmoud Khairy, takes the phone and tells Marcus in Polish “this is a waste of time”, and arranges for Zuk to call him later before ending the call. The papers were filled with suspicion of the “dark-skinned man” at the end of the video, and Khairy quickly became a murder suspect even though there is no evidence of his involvement in the death.
The police interviewed Khairy shortly after the incident, but released him without charge. People in Marsa Alam say that he has “disappeared” and deleted his Facebook account shortly after photos from it appeared in the Polish tabloids. He didn’t respond to requests to be interviewed for this story, but a friend of his says he maintains his innocence and that “everything said in the papers about him is a lie”. His employer, Rainbow Tours, also declined an interview.
What do you think happened to Magda? I believe her death was a suicide but I cannot determine what preceded this.
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2020.10.16 17:00 time_over Cctv sex clips
You always read about false rape accusation and how they could ruin you mentally and hunt you forever, and i stated thinking if you set a 2-3 cctv on your house and start to store them in simple storage option (cloud or hdd) , this could save your life just after one night stand she is in the police station making rape accusation hey i have the whole fucking tape if you do not admit it i will share it to the whole world ,if you don't have porn revenge laws in you state, what you guys think ?couple 100 bucks and not having sex out side your property could save you a life time of misery
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2020.09.19 05:07 LuckyDuck99 Clips cctv sex
Well I told you not to go expecting part 5 for a while didn’t I? ( I did. Go back and read my last words on part 4 in the comments..... )
And I was right ( as I often am..... )
The fact is I just couldn’t find the will to wade through another 4 episodes. Hence the delay. Now sure when you’ve lived over 800 years it’s hard to find the will to keep breathing every few seconds but it was really hard to find the 4 hours needed to watch more episodes and then God knows how much time writing about them. I’m wasting even more time now telling YOU all this when I could just be getting on with it.
Sighhhhh. Damn it I wasn’t even supposed to be alive right now, and neither were YOU. Does anyone remember when the world was ending earlier this year? What the hell happened to that!!??!!
God damn it!!!! Alright lets do this if we must.......
So, the final round up? Sort of, since if I live long enough to do a part six ( and when you’ve lived 800 plus years you have to assume every day will be your last.... ) it will deal with the final two episodes of this series and maybe round up some other ideas and thoughts I missed along the way. So yeah the final round up of the last four proper episodes if you like is contained here. ( and even if you don’t like..... )
So what do I have to say about these episodes you ask... well read on... wait, you are thinking.... no crazy stuff about this or that? You are just getting on with it now? Well, yeah. What else is there to say about life, reality, death and the indoctrination process of decades of wasted youth? Not a lot my end so yeah lets get on with it.
Although..... having said that......
There was this funny story about this guy who dropped dead.
You know how it is when you are 9/10 and your mom is talking to some friend of hers that she knew long before you were dragged here, when you are out shopping and all you want to do is.... ( leave the planet far, far behind / be back home in your room / go on an adventure like in The Ring, wait was that Wagner’s Ring or the one with the guy out of The Office in it????..... )
And the convo goes something like this......
“Oh my God Jean, did you hear about Albert?”
“No, what’s happened?”
“He went out like a light last Thursday”
“Good God almighty not Albert? Not Susie’s husband?”
“The very same”
“Dear God Almighty, I only saw him the other day, what happened?”
“Doctor said it was a massive heart attack. He never felt a thing”
“God Almighty, how old was he? He can’t have been all that old?”
“What!!! No he had to be older than that. My brother went to school with him”
“No that’s all he was, 62. I couldn’t believe it myself. It’s no age is it Jean”
“God Almighty, He never smoked. He never drank. He used to walk everywhere. He used to cycle miles on that bike of his. He’d make two of my old man. He was as fit as a fiddle”
“I know. I know. Susie said she was in the kitchen putting the dishes away and she heard a thud. She came in and he was gone, his head was in the soup bowl”
“Oh My Good God. There will be another now. It always goes in threes.....”
Sure enough there were others. And it did always go in threes.
Looking back now, maybe funny wasn’t the right word to describe this story.......
Anyway where was I? Oh right....................
Well damn, this is odd. Odd for a couple of reasons. The first one being that as you may know ( as I’ve said it before.... ) this isn’t my first time wading through series 5. I first did ( from my point of view a few hundred years ago... ) yet I didn’t remember a single thing about this episode. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. What does that tell us? Well, it tells me that either I’m cracking up memory wise and can no longer trust my own thoughts or that for ( some reason.... ) never saw this episode the first go round hence my lack of any memories of it.
I have no answer to that of course. Either I didn’t see it or having lived so very long things are finally starting to delete from my head. It does of course raise the question of what a human really is. Just a collection of memories which may or may not have even happened. Hell, the next thing you’ll be telling me is I’m not 800 years of age.
So anyway we start off on the ship ( guess no one cares about the bar anymore..... ) wait lets just break this down cause it’s an odd episode anyway. Basically it’s like this. This is a stand alone, not really connected in any way to series 5, it was all a dream type episode in which the main players get to act up and act out different roles. Be wacky, oddball and ummmm different. If you remember Farscape you’ll remember EVERY episode played out like that. ( Which is why it got canned. You can only take a joke so far.... )
Dylan gets hit by space goo and goes in to a coma. From there he travels around different realities in which the other crew get to play roles cause they had to give them something to do. Well apart from Harper and Beka who don’t do shit. Oh and Rommie of course who is for the third episode in a row just a voice over. God damn you Rommie. You just had to go and get yourself knocked up didn’t you!!!!
Oh and there’s an ugly Space God guy who is in all realities ( as is often the case... ) Wait did Dylan’s real world religious antics influence this episode? It feels like it might have.... ( as indeed it has others long before, think series 4’s two part final.... )
We go back to the bar where Harper is doing stand up and still running the bar, but Space God shows up and kills Dylan.
We go to the ship where the crew are trying to save his life.... but Space God shows up and kills Dylan.
We go to yap with Trace who is acting good even though she is now the bad Trance.... ( or is she the good one in this reality????.... )
We go to a room with Andrea inside it who has for ( some reason.... ) been locked in it for 100 years....
We go back in time to a world where the series never happened and Dylan married the hot chick but she is now Andrea and Space God shows up and..... maybe kills Dylan?
Oh and Space God plays Space Chess. And has a passion for white. Of course he does. He can also go all Matrix Agent on your ass and jump in to anyone in the universe and take them over.
He’s every woman.... and every man.
This sort of episode has been done by pretty much all sci fi series at some point. Enterprise did it. Farscape WAS it. I’m sure Stargate did it, right? And so on and so on.
Dylan finally sorts out the mystery, something about saying words backwards and waking up to stop the universe blowing up by switching off / not switching off something. I dunno. At that point I was more worried about the gaps in my memory than the episode to be honest.
Final twist? Space God shows up as the captain of some ship that for some reason would also have been blown up.
Wait, if Space God was real did he do all this to avoid getting blown up?
But... he’s Space God he couldn’t just stop it himself????????
Plus why the hell was Space God flying a damn space ship in a pocket reality anyway????
So was it all a dream? A drug induced hallucination? The final mad thoughts of a dying mind as it shuts down and travels towards the light... or the pitch black darkness of the void? Or was Dylan really travelling through unrealised realities? We may never know......
Good or bad then. What say I? Well.......................
It’s kind of neither ( I said this was all very odd at the start remember... ) You could take this whole episode out and it wouldn’t effect the series in any way. Maybe that’s what my mind did. I did watch it so long ago and my mind simply couldn’t retain the information ( like in Doctor Who with the Silence, remember them? ) Or you could say it’s an ok episode if you haven’t seen ( and remember... ) the dozens of others times all this has played out in other sci fi series. As such I can’t score it. It belongs in a sort of no mans land. Neither here or there. Oh well one down three to go. Lets hope my memory improves. Damn it how can a person remember 1921 yet can’t remember a damn TV episode from 20 years ago.
If all those realities were real then what the hell are we worrying about any of this for. Let the Abyss blow everything up, there are an infinite number of realities left.
Plus... Space God. Where the hell was he when the bastard Magog were eating entire planets? I’ll tell you where. Sitting on his ass playing Space Chess. But he pulls all this shit to save his own sorry ass!!! Fuck him!
Andrea finally gets some stuff to do so there’s that I guess. She has been pretty much wasted since episode 4 after all. Too bad she’s largely wasted here as well. Course she wouldn’t even be here at all if a certain person had ever heard of condoms......
Son of a bitch, Rommies back!!!!!!
After 17 more or less wasted Rommie less episodes she finally returns with ummm..... five episodes to go before the series ends forever.... yeah.....
I guess she finally popped that damn kid out but as a result that instantly pole vaults this episode in to the Goodish category even though it’s not really all that good. ( more on that later..... )
It is great to see her back though and shows what series 5 has been missing up to this point. Hell Rommie should have had her own show all along. We never needed any of the rest of them. One hour of each of the three Rommies arguing with each other would have been better than ALL the episodes of Andromeda combined.
Anyway..... we kick off with the crew moving the entire population of planet 9 to the Maru before the sun cooks it. Which is fine, IF the Maru has infinite fuel and infinite storage space and the crew have about 300 years to get this job done. Or the planet only has a population of a hundred people. Since we know that the first three don’t apply we have to go with the last option. The planet only has one hundred people total on it. Either that or 7 billion people die in a few hours when the planet gets cooked.
The Andromeda finally has power and slipstream and is FINALLY ready to LEAVE THIS SYSTEM. This is IT. It’s taken 18, count em’, 18 episodes to get to this point but we are outta here boi!!!!! Yeah, lets do this. All flight systems on!! Maximum power!!!!
And we are gone!!!..... ohhh... no...... it was another fake out.
Slipstream won’t work now without Rommie the android even though it worked fine back in Episode 1, Series 1, when there was NO android Rommie.
Ok then well that means Dylan finally gives a fuck and wants to rebuild Rommie after 17 episodes where he didn’t give a monkeys. Lets hope those guys on the planet can hold on........
Meanwhile Trace who is now the bad one right? is on the planet that is going to blow up with Rhade and tells him something about his dead family that sets him off. Too bad he wasn’t that set off when he was carrying on with Number 1 from B5 back at the end of series 4 right?
Meanwhile Harper is back to running the bar ( this fucking bar, am I right?..... ) And is not happy about rebuilding Rommie cause she might come out evil this time, but he gets Andrea to do it anyway cause we can’t leave this system if we don’t. Or save the billions on the planet that will blow up in a few hours.....
Andrea builds a perfect Rommie in I guess a few hours at most?
Damn, someone sure could make a LOT of space money with this kind of tech. Although she now has a Borg Implant and a sexy silly walk. Ok, but fuck, it’s Rommie!!!!!
However when she gets aboard the ship she does what Harper suspected and turns evil. So now we have evil Rommie. The girls have a girl fight and although Rommie wants to kill Dylan and really who can blame her, she doesn’t. The ship is of course in more or less pitch darkness though out as we have discussed before. How anyone sees anything on that flight deck is beyond me. The sun gets closer to the planet. Billions will die and Trance, the bad one, has a chat with Rommie which sets her off even more just when the others had done a deal with her to give her, her memories back so she goes back to kill Dylan but Andrea instead shocks her and this somehow gives her back her core memories and so now she’s on our side again, maybe, I guess...... unless she’s playing the long game here and will wipe out the crew at a later date. ( kill them, kill them all in their sleep........ )
The sun destroys planet 9 and seven billion people die!
Wait but then the crew say that NO ONE died so how did they move seven billion people? You see, it don’t be adding up. So there could only have been a hundred people on the planet total.
So now at last after 18 fucking episodes and with a new improved Rommie we can FINALLY LEAVE THIS FUCKING SYSTEM!!!!! Do it, go to slipstream NOW!!!!!
And............................... we do. We are out of this........ wait no... you have got to be shitting me!!!! We are back in the same place. We went to slipstream and it still didn’t work. Son of a bitch. Not that it really matters at this point we have 4, count em’, 4 episodes to go.
The episode ends back in the bar where Andrea ( with her hair now done up, maybe it was the shock?... ) says she feels like a new woman ( even though she’s a robot.... ) and Harper apologises for being an arsehole. ( but since he’s also a LAIR do we believe him?..... )
The crew have a laugh despite knowing they will never leave this system now no matter what and that trillions of people will soon die on the other 7 planets that will very soon go the way of planet 9.
Wait, so we did all that just to get slipstream working again and now we have it and it still isn’t any use to us. Son of a bitch!!!............
The verdict? Hey, it’s got Rommie center stage, I can’t say anything bad about it. ( well apart from what I said above..... ) but yeah one of the better episodes of this series and the best since the first 4 I guess. It just proves how much better this whole series would have been had Rommie been there from day 1.
Oh Gawdddd! Is this the one I think it is? Yep. It is. Son of a bitch. Ok, strike it, I’m outta here, see you at Axeley 2 bois.
..... Really? You WANT me to suffer? Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Alright but I’m calling it right now this episode throws us right back to the bad stuff and is pure bullshit. There. That’s my verdict. In the same way the mind will wipe some memories it will keep others locked away like in a safe. THIS episode is one of those.
We are back to worrying our guts out about Warlords now. We gave that a rest for a bit didn’t we, we did. We had bigger fish to fry. Suns blowing up planets. Rommie going bad and Trance too ( although no one noticed with that one.... ) So now knowing that we have NO WAY of EVER leaving this DAMN SYSTEM we are back to worrying our guts out over fucking Warlords.
All we need now is that little rat faced weasel White Vampire killer to show up as well.
Dylan. Dylan. Dylan, listen to me. Listen to me. It doesn’t matter. All these planets only have 100 people on each of them. Because as we know if they had billions of people on them, the Maru would need.... infinite fuel.... infinite space... and about 300 years of non stop not resting for a single second of time to be able to MOVE THOSE PEOPLE to planet 1 where your arse is nice and safe anyway. So you see Dylan you are worrying over a total of 700 people.
Let them all die. Let the Warlords die with them. Dylan. Let it go. Let it all go.
Lets just sit back, let the sun do it’s job and then when this shit hole planet is a new paradise maybe you can finally settle down and think of all the people that died back in your universe because you wouldn’t do what needed to be done with the whole Magog thing. ( ie the total and utter genocide of every single last one of them... )
So we start off in, of course, pitch darkness aboard the Andromeda. Somebody give that crew a flashlight cause someone is gonna have an accident. For a ship now at FULL POWER it’s too bad NONE of it is going towards the lighting system. ( remember in series 1 when the whole ship had LIGHTING????? )
Hey look it’s Rommie. I mean you are sort of 18 episodes too late at this stage Rom but hell it’s always good to see you. Andrea is there as well. Which is odd when she literally said at the end of the last episode she was now her own woman yet here acts like Rommies right arm and twin.
There’s trouble a brewing. It seems, quite rightly, the folk of planet 1 aren’t too happy about DYLAN, yes remember this is ALL HIS DOING, dumping the 700 ( or 22 trillion, you pick... ) people of the other planets on theirs. I mean they aren’t wrong. But this is Dylan. It’s always easy to play the hero when you never have to pay the price because you can just fly away at the end.
A meat head explains the issue quite well. There just ain’t enough food and stuff to feed/house 700/22 trillion people.
Where’s the lie though? He’s right. Hence my point earlier of letting them all die.
If only Dylan had been this worried about life when the Magog were eating whole planets instead of wiping them out back then, what did the Commonwealth do? Gave them more planets to eat. Which is why it fell in the first place. The Nietzscheans were right. The Commonwealth literally brought about it’s own downfall through sheer stupidity!!!!!
The girls beat up the meathead and Dylan walks away from the problem HE created as he has done all his life. As people like him ALWAYS do. ( Think The Doctor out of Doctor Who.... )
Meanwhile Harper who for once isn’t running/worrying about that damn bar is on the Warlord planet with Rhade and of course you guessed it. It’s in PITCH DARK. Anyone got any Night Vision Googles I can use? This fucking show. Couldn’t they afford lighting AT ALL this series?????
Anyway from what I could make out in PITCH AND TOTAL DARKNESS. The duo are in the teleport room wait, what!!!!! How did I over look that?????
Of course, all these planets have teleport rooms. YOU DON’T NEED A STARSHIP TO MOVE PEOPLE.
Fuck me I’d forgotten all about that. So why the fuck did we make such a big deal last episode of having to move the planets population by SHIP when all they had to do, all 100/1 trillion, of them was walk in to a room and walk through a door?????
However the teleport door is stuck so Harper needs to work on it while Rhade who has a hard on for the Warlords sister ( who may be cute..... ) goes back to save hekill the bag guy. But Harper shoots a big Asian guy first. Funny how saving lives isn’t so much of a priority when your own life is on the line eh?
The Warlord is of course standing in a cave in PITCH DARKNESS giving his cult members a speech. Telling them the planet will not blow up and that tech is too be feared.
And that’s the thing. You can’t un-brainwash people like this. It’s too late. They are too far indoctrinated for anything you say to have any effect. But we have to play the hero just to learn that lesson yet again the hard way don’t we. Rhade tries to save the sister ( who is cute.... ) and wastes breath trying to convince people that have been lied to from birth, that he is telling them the truth.
It goes, as anyone over the age of 245 would expect it to go.
Meanwhile the crew are starting to suspect something might be up with Trance. Don’t know why since she’s acting exactly like she always has. Odd how Dillion talks of having to save millions of lives when we know each planet can only house 100 people ( otherwise the meathead guy at the start was CORRECT. Save them now just to watch them starve in a few weeks time.... because that’s totally going to happen. Sure the planet has the ROOM but it DOESN’T have the RESOURCES..... )
Oh Jesus I didn’t even mention the D Plot yet did I? Like this episode needed MORE plots.
Beka is doing her thing in space when she for some reason.... runs in to a ship full of Nietzscheans, yes those guys. ( How did they get here?.... We may never know..... ) I still don’t buy all this Mother of Dragons crap either. Beka, you are a mother alright but not of Dragons, I’m thinking more of something beginning with an F and ending in an R.
For some reason the head guy has got a couple of S&M guys with him ( shades of Farscape rear their head again....... ) Is Sci Fi big in S&M circles then? I mean I’m 800 odd so I might be a little out of touch with things. All I know is it wasn’t like this in back in 1928. I mean, sure, ok, there was this one time in Paris, but..... oh you don’t wanna hear about that.
Look at that I’ve already written more on this crap episode than I have on any other, and I’m not even half way through the damn episode!!!! Go figure right. Guess it’s just so bad and it’s pissed me off so much I’ve gotta let you folk know.
Mother of Dragons. GTFOOHWTBS. ( think about it..... )
Andrea and Rommie now seemed to be joined at the hip, almost as if the show only needed Andrea when Rommie wasn’t around and now that she is hasn’t got a clue what to do with her.
This is where we get the sex scene. Oh yes.
The girls override Bekas cameras ( which raises many questions, none of which will be answered.... ) and we see that she is busy having... well.. how can I put this, you see... well.... we are made to think at least that one of the S&M guys or maybe the head Nietzschean is ummmmm licking a certain part of Beka’s body as you were. See, it’s funny. Apart from the whole lack of privacy issue of course, but to hell with that. Guess this scene wouldn’t fly in 2020 right?
But of course when we see it for real it turns out the S&M guys were only washing her feet. Not eating her out as we were lead to believe and what Dylan, Rommie and Andrea still all believe ( cause they only saw the close up, and heard all the moaning.... ha, ha..... ) Ok.... not sure why that would give her an orgasm but hey maybe she hasn’t washed them in a long time?
Back to the “A” plot. Remember that?
Cute sister goes to see Rhade who is in jail and he tries to talk sense into her... yeah... Trance flash’s up in a sun, is that the good Trance now or the bad one? We may never know. And we are back with bullshitter Beka and the S&M guys, say how did you folks cross universes and how can we do it?????
And I thought things could only improve with Rommie back, God was I wrong. This might just be the worst series 5 episode yet. Son of a bitch!!!!!!
Head Nietzschean drugs Beka and plans on stealing her ship. ( even he doesn’t buy all the Mother of Dragons crap...... ) Despite already having one and stealing it with her still onboard. How does that work???? Odd how someone who claims to be smart and experienced would fall for an old trick like that, yet here we are. Guess you aren’t as bright as you like to think eh Beka?
Cute sister goes back to see Rhade ( she is cute.... ) and helps him escape. ( by giving him his communicator and something... ) he does, then bad Trance turns up for...... some reason....... Then she goes to see the Wizard ( Warlord... ) and tells him his sister is no good. Cute, but no good. He agrees. The Warlord is also Asian by the way. Is this all about the Vietnam War by any chance???? It does have those sort of finger prints all over it. In the same way Aliens was Vietnam in Space.
Trance goes back to the ship. The ship that is STILL IN PITCH DARKNESS. And runs in to Rommie. ( literally, lack of lighting maybe?.... ) Well this episode just improved.
Rommie has been sent by Dylan to sound Trance out cause he don’t be trusting her no more. ( unlike the good Trance this one talks too much sense..... it was finally her undoing.... ) In the same way he lied to Rommie last episode about helping her when he planned to shut her down all along. He now sends Rommie out to lie to Trance and in the same way he did nothing to help Rommie for 17 whole episodes until HE needed her for HIS OWN personal gain he only now takes action against Trance 2 because it benefits HIM.
The Great Captain Hunt, people. You’ve gotta love him.
But Trance who really at this point is the smartest person in any room is wise to all this and shocks Rommie. God damn it. We just got Rommie back, don’t you be fucking her up again!!
Warlord goes to confront his cute sister. Faith vs Science, yadda, yadda, yadda. These speeches might carry more weight if WE didn’t live in a world where WE are brainwashed from birth by the very same nonsense the Warlord believes. So he kills her. Damn... she was cute. Course she would have died anyway when the planet blows up in about 4 minutes from now, but still. Always the cute ones..... God damn it!
The D plot. They send Andrea out to save Beka’s lame ass and beat up the Nietzschean guy and his S&M friends ( How DID they get into this universe again?????? ) She does.
Rhade finds cute sister and vows revenge even though she is dead BECAUSE of him. Just like Number 1 from B5 is dead BECAUSE of him. No wonder this guy drinks. But... he gets taken by the cult members so Dylan shows up and kills the people he was so eager to save. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Harper as luck would have it has finally repaired the teleport door but then the Warlord shows up, but it’s ok cause then Dylan shows up and kills more people he was hell bent on saving not too long ago. But Warlord and Harper teleport out.
Back on the ship Trance is finally revealed to be bad thanks to, of all things, CCTV footage.
Trance and Dylan watch as seven billion cult members die a swift death.
Is there a message here at all? If there is, it feels like it’s sort of the wrong one. Faith just got seven billion people killed, science would have saved them all. Isn’t Dylan all about faith in real life? The hell???? He APPROVED this?????
To Be Continued....
What??? Oh fuck no, no.. Jesus H Christ. That means there will be more of the fucking Warlord in the next episode. God damn it why did I ever start any of this??!!!??
Well there it is. In case you couldn’t tell this wasn’t one of my favourite episodes. In fact I’m officially ranking it THE worst episode of Series 5 right here, right now.
I mean it could have been a good episode if you took out.... The Warlord, Mother of Dragons, S&M guys, Faith vs Science, Rhade, Harper, Beka, Trance, Pitch Darkness, Dylan and just had a story about the cute sister teaming up with Rommie and Andrea to ummmm go on a treasure hunt.... or something. But no, we get this.
AND if I live another 800 years I NEVER want to sit through this again. I have nothing more to say about this episode.
Well we already know that the Warlord is going to be in this and that Rhade is going to be bitching about revenge ( try looking in a mirror Rhade.... ) and it’s a given that PITCH DARKNESS will play a huge role so I don’t have high hopes before I even press play but here we go..............
Oh Gawwwdddd. We are doing a recap. Last time on.... FFS what did I just say!!!!!!
Mute. Fast Forward. God damn it!!!!!
The ship. Pitch Dark. Of course. How the actors didn’t break their necks filming this series I will never know. Rommie and her twin, ( her own woman.... ) Andrea walk and talk with Dylan. It seems more folk have been “saved” well I mean at least until they starve to death in a few weeks time, but hey three extra weeks right? Did they all use the teleport rooms this time, cause that would seem to be the better choice given the whole 300 years needed the other way.
The Warlord then gets in touch with the ship and says he will kill Harper. I don’t see a problem here. I mean Harper’s had a good run and lets be honest his stick got old back in series 1, episode 2. Him dying two episodes before the series ends for good wouldn’t bother me.
The Warlord calls Dylan out on his BS saying all this is his fault and he’s not wrong is he? ALL this is Dylan’s fault. If he’d just died back at the end of series 4 and never come to this universe Trance wouldn’t have woken up and her sun wouldn’t have killed seven billion cult members on that planet. Not to mention all the gimps, bar owners, gun runners, cute sisters, bounty hunters, mature women and crazy MF’s that would also still be alive now had Dylan died back on the Ark. Also everyone on board the Ark would also be alive had the Commonwealth done what needed to be done long ago.
How much blood do you have on your hands Dylan Hunt?
Ah but, you say, it is all fate. Destiny. Fine then. So that means there is no free will in this universe. Dylan was always going to survive and Number 1 from B5 was always going to die.
Whatever, Dylan says he doesn’t give a damn about Harper and then we turn our attention to Trance. Dylan figures out she must be back in the robot Sun from episode 16, although how they are going to get to her is anyone’s guess. It only shuts down for an hour once every hundred years remember?
The Warlord who was going to kill Harper..... doesn’t kill Harper. Instead his new plan is to get onboard the Andromeda. Hell he might break his neck if he does, then again he was pretty used to pitch dark back on his own planet so he should be ok.
The ladies watch as another planet goes bust. We must be running out of planets at this point right? Sure hope all seven billion people teleported out so they can now die a slow death rather than a swift one like the cult members did. Andrea continues to act like Rommies little sister rather than in her own words a new woman....
As luck would have it the fake sun is playing up which is just as well as without that good fortune Dylan had NO WAY AT ALL of getting back inside there without waiting a hundred years. Lucky. Or fate made it play up cause no free will remember.
What the fuck!!!!??!!! Harper and the Warlord are now onboard Andromeda. HOW DID THEY DO THAT???? We may never know......
Trance does a little dance.... The Rommie twins do a double act and the Warlord is revealed to be The Abyss all along. His new plan is to blow up the ship. Oh noes!!!!
The corridors of the fake sun are, just as they were in episode 16, pitch dark but that sort of makes sense given that it’s an unmanned fake sun that can only be accessed once every hundred years..... apart from today of course.....
The twins fight the bad guys and win, because, well they are hyper strong super robots, of course they were going to win. Then Trance shows up, she does get around.... Then Beka shows up as well. The ladies figure out that Harper has betrayed them ( cause he totally did..... ) and that the Warlord is also somehow on board. The ladies then fight more bad guys in a scene that goes on for about half an hour. They win of course but that’s because they know Kung Fu.
Meanwhile Dylan has reached the core of the fake sun and figured out that Trance 1 is trapped here cause she left her coat there.......
Andrea tricks one of the Asian cult members ( so is the show saying that all Asians are cult members, like they all conform to a certain ideology or maybe follow a ONE PARTY system, something like that...... it sort of seems like it is..... ) And the girls find out about the bombs and oh Harper is dead.
Ha, like hell he is. It’s another fake out. He was fooling them although why he needed to fool Beka and the twins we may never know. It almost feels as if he was trying to fool a hidden fourth wall breaking audience that may or may not have been looking in.....................
Now them, he would have fooled.
Dylan finds Trance after shooting up the place. She was in a sort of Time Cocoon even though the end of episode 16 made it very clear she was held prisoner in the core chamber. She regenerates and teleports everyone out right before the sun destroys the ummmmm sun..... Lucky.... or fate, lack of free will, etc.....
Beka confronts the Warlord/Abyss but rather than shoot him on sight she... doesn’t.... Instead she does more Kung Fu. The hell Beka!!!!! More fighting, killing and teleporting but all to no avail The Abyss pulls one of those guns that everyone made a huge fuss about back in episode 5 or 6. ( I’m not going back to check. The one about the mines and the whole they took our land subtext. You figure it out. ) and is about to kill Beka when the wonder twins show up. Then Dylan shows up and..... everyone shoots The Abyss. But as you know he’s the Abyss, he’ll be back.
Now for the Trance problem. They have a Trance fight and now we don’t know which is which. See, if only good Trance had stayed next to Dylan we’d know exactly which was which. But it’s ok cause the bad Trance beams out ( or was she the bad Trance?????...... )
The crew watch as the sun goes off course and blows up planet 1 making all their efforts futile... no wait, it stopped just before it got there. Sure seems hella’ close though on the screen. Pretty sure a star that close to any planet would cook all life off it in about 3 seconds flat. Then the crew asks the same question I pondered earlier, namely how did the Warlord get on board the ship and did Harper betray them all ( he did... ) but it’s all played as a joke and Harper is once again off the hook.
Well, we started the series with nine planets, now we have one.
22 trillion people will die in three weeks time due to starvation.
We may still have the bad Trance onboard and seven billion Asian cult members died a few hours ago but we get a sitcom style happy ending where all the girls team up in a sort of sistas are doing it for themselves thing.
Dylan reflects that his work as saviour of all reality will never be done. The End.
The verdict? Ah it’s 50/50. It’s a step up from the worst one ever last time but it also follows on from that. There’s too much girrrruuuuullllll pppooowwweeerrrrr and Kung Fu. The fake sun is just a rerun of episode 16. The Warlord is an arsehole. Pitch darkness. It’s part 2 of a 2 parter and it shows. It’s padded out. It’s reusing ideas. It is lacking any new ideas. It is lacking pretty much anything really. Even Rommie didn’t help here, not least because she has now become a twin and is slaved to Andrea. That isn’t going to go away at this point.
So yeah throw it in the bad pile. See now why it took me a month to get back to all this?
Still at least it’s over. This just leaves the final two parter to finish things off. It’s a wonder I haven’t been finished off doing all this.
Oh yeah they did a Star Wars joke I forgot to mention when the twins were fighting the bad guys, so does that mean Star Wars was real in their universe? Is the Andromeda universe our future? How else do you explain it?
Well then to anyone who read ALL this I salute you. If I survive I will see you all at the finish line for the sixth and final part. If I don’t well, it was fate, destiny and a lack of freewill on my and this universes part.
To Be Concluded..........
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2020.09.16 00:48 throwra-desperategf I [25f] am no longer attracted to my boyfriend [26m] since he got assaulted.
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
So, I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now and the incident happened right before lock down.
We we're walking to his car late a night, there wasn't a parking spot nearby so we had to park in a dark alley. While we were walking he noticed that there were a strange guy following us. The guy suddenly try to snatch my purse and run away to which my bf grabs him. What happens next is not pretty. The guy pinned him on the ground an proceeded to beat the living shit out of him, then getting up and walking away with my purse. The whole time I screamed but there was nobody nearby.
We went to the ER, the aftermath was a couple of broken ribs and severe bruises to the face. We filed a police report, but nothing came out of it, it was dark and there was no cctv around .I took care of him for the following weeks and he was completely broken, physically and mentally. He became visibly depressed and still is today, even after his wounds have healed.
I known this makes me look like a terrible person, but, seeing him getting beat up and taking care of him later (seeing him weak and miserable) changed things for me. For the past month I realized I'm no longer attracted to him. I don't know why, he is a great guy, but I no longer can se a romantic future with him. I've been rejecting him every time he tries to initiate sex, because I honestly can't be aroused by him anymore. I don't know what to do.
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2020.09.15 12:40 SuperBugsybunny Cctv sex clips
My brother (19m) is a thief, and a liar, and all around an arsehole. You might remember me from 3 months ago when I posted that he stole and used my sex toys. Well, he paid me back, I have a CCTV camera in my room now, but nothing else has been done. I am on edge all the time. My mental health has taken a downfall, if I forget to put my camera on I feel sick. At night, I'm scared hes going to come into my room and do god knows what. I don't feel safe. But I'm the one having to accommodate for him. I'm the one whose meant to forgive and forget what he did. He has been brought a new laptop that cost £1,7000 (that's hes meant to pay back monthly but I know hes not going to), mums constantly bragging about what's happening at work because everyone apparently loves him there. And I am getting so frustrated. He doesnt pay rent, he doesnt help around the house. I feel guilty for not paying rent (parents came up with a deal that I wouldn't have to pay until I've finished education and work full time, I finished this month and currently job hunting) and I feel guilty if I spend time in my room during the day. I stay up late at night so that the dogs dont wake mum up to early, and feel guilty if I have to go to bed early. I am at the end of my tether and there is nothing I can do. I'm expected to just forgive that he violated my privacy. But the fact is, I cant even see an advert for sex toys without feeling sick, cant even hear about sex without feeling like I'm going to vomit. I am working so hard to improve myself and hes getting away with doing nothing. No one is listening to me when I say I dont feel safe, all my mum says is that it wont happen again. But it will, I know it will. Hes been stealing off his family for as long as I can remeber and he is never going to stop.
Sorry for any mistakes and if it doesnt make sense, honestly just wanted to vent because no one else is listening.
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2020.09.15 11:13 groovybaby1999 Raped by a friend
I was 18 when I was raped. I was a virgin and had never done anything beyond kissing. I was wanting to save myself for a relationship with someone I loved. The guy who did it to me was my “friend”. Towards the end of our friendship he started to creep me out. He would follow me home after every night out despite living over 40 minutes away. One night I was out clubbing and he started making a scene saying the N word and other racist and homophobic things. After that night I chose to stay away from him. The night the rape happened I asked my friends to stay with me because I was scared he would try and follow me home again. But we got extremely intoxicated. I had won a competition and got a free drinks voucher from the a club. I don’t remember anything after maybe half an hour after arriving at the club. I have managed to piece together what happened due to talking to him and others. Whilst my friend was in the bathroom vomiting I got kicked out of the club for being too drunk. He took me on the bus and then eventually took me to a park close to my home. He messaged my friends from my phone to tell them I was home and he left me in the park to buy condoms where some people I knew saw him. I have no recollection over the next 4 hours. My mum found me around 5am by myself drunk on the street with my skirt pulled up. The next day I had discovered I had lost my car keys while intoxicated and had messages of pure gibberish sent over the night besides the one message to my friends at around 1 saying I was home which was written in perfect English. I had messages from him in the group chat we were both in literally about taking advantage of drunk girls. I went to the park to find my car keys but I only found a condom wrapper. I went to the police but I wasn’t taken seriously. They wouldn’t test for DNA, try to recover CCTV footage or even speak to the witnesses who saw him buying condoms. He told people it was my idea and that I was with him while he bought them. As a result of my trauma I became extremely mentally unwell. I was kicked out of my dream course because I missed placement while talking to the police. I haven’t worked in over a year now because of my PTSD and I have spent a total of 5 months in a mental hospital because of it. I lost many friendships as some of them chose to hang out with him after the event. Everyday I’m scared he will do the same thing to someone else. I have a boyfriend now and he is completely understanding but it has impacted my sex life as well. I’m so mad still but I know I can’t do anything about it because nobody takes you seriously once alcohol is involved.
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2020.09.14 14:17 roarjauren Cctv sex clips
On June 2nd 2011, 13 year old Sirayakorn Siriboon, or more commonly known by her nickname ‘Bung’, left the house to walk to school, and was never seen again.
Bung was born on December 30th 1997. She resided in Thailand, in the north eastern province Ubon Ratchathani with her father, mother and her older sister Siriporn, or better known by her nickname ‘Pang’.
Unfortunately, her parents would later divorce, and both daughters would end up living with their mother, Vanidda. The girls did not have a strong relationship with their father after this, as he was largely absent after the split.
In 2004, Vanidda met Fred Pattison, an Australian man who found himself infatuated with Thai culture, and from as early as the mid-1990s, would travel back and forth between Australia and Thailand.
In 2006, Fred moved to Thailand to be closer to Vanidda, or ‘Nid’ as he affectionally called her. His relationship with Bung and Pang flourished, and he was welcomed to the family quite quickly. They called him their father, and he referred to them as his daughters. This same year, Fred and Vid got married and started a business making awnings.
Unfortunately, the business did not thrive as expected, so Fred decided to return to Australia, back to his home state of Victoria, and began working at a Cadbury Factory as a fitter. The rest of his family followed him over to Australia in 2008, when Bung was 10 years old.
Fred and Nid both wanted to give the girls a better life and a good education. The plan was to put them through school, pay off the family’s debts and then return and retire to Thailand.
They moved to the suburb of Boronia, which largely borders Dandenong Ranges National Park, a large forested area spanning 35.4 km². The park is home to crystal clear streams, waterfalls and creeks and has an extensive network of the walking trails.
The suburb itself has a fairly low crime rate, but is plagued by drugs, particularly in the area close to the Boronia Train Station. It is worth noting however, that the train station is right next to a police station. Bung’s family would be residing in Elsie Street, which was less that 1km away from the train station.
About the suburb, her stepfather Fred stated: "I wanted her [Bung] to grow up feeling safe. And there was no reason why she shouldn't feel safe walking to school. There were always lots of people around, particularly in the morning – kids going to school, commuters driving to work. The main bus route is near here, and there are two arterial roads. I certainly never had any concerns."
Dyamai Hillard first met Bung when she arrived at Boronia Primary in grade 4. They were seated next to each other. “I really wanted to get to know her, but I think she found me annoying at first! She put a ruler down the middle of the desk so I couldn’t cross over to her side.” However, It wasn’t long before the pair became friends.
Dyamai describes Bung as “a happy person, with a very kind heart and so caring... She could be quite shy with new people, but once she got to know them, she was very outgoing. She was always ready to talk to people and try new things. She was just so easy to be around.”
They both went to the same high school, Boronia Heights College, which was about a 10 minute walk from Bung’s home. They would meet at a little park on the way to school, and they would walk home together. On the weekends, they did odd jobs together, such as gardening, and then spent their money on McDonald’s. Bung always had an ice cream sundae.
Academically, Bung excelled at mathematics, but had a passion for dancing, singing and drama. She particularly enjoyed K-pop and Justin Bieber. At the time of her disappearance, her and Dyamai were rehearsing for the Rock Eisteddfod schools competition, where Bung was organizing the choreography to their performance.
Bung was known to be an excellent student, quite reserved, but always polite. She was hardly ever absent. While attending Boronia Heights College, Bung’s friendship ground expanded, and she became quite close to Layla Preston. Preston would later state: “She loved school, and being at school with her friends.”
Bung particularly liked going to the beach, where they would sometimes visit Fred’s mother in Portarlington, near Queenscliff. Bung liked playing in the sand and swimming in the waves. But like a lot of children her age, she spent a lot of time in her bedroom.
She liked drawing, and had several Facebook accounts. She reportedly did not have a boyfriend, and while she was very sociable, she preferred not to spend the night at friends’ houses. Dyamai, who had spent a lot of time at the family’s house, remembered the family being just like any other.
“She loved her sister, and she loved her parents. She fought with her mum sometimes, but just over the normal teenage stuff, like not wanting to clean up the dishes.”
After her disappearance, Fred was adamant she would not run away.
“I wouldn’t call her streetwise, but she was an older soul. She was one of the good kids. She was not a terrible teenager. She wasn’t one of those that was not coming home or not ringing up or running away.”
Thursday the 2nd of June, 2011 started like any other day. Bung, after a breakfast of egg rice soup, left the Elsie Street property at around 8.30AM. Fred, who had just finished a night shift at a local factory, was in the backroom. Bung called out a goodbye, before heading off to school.
A neighbour caught sight of her as she headed east, wearing her school uniform and blue raincoat. Elsie Street leads onto Albert Avenue, which is a congested main road that Bung would cross every morning, before turning left into Harcourt Road. Further along Harcourt Road is the left turn into Monroe Street, a cul-de-sac which led to the back gate of the high school. It is worth mentioning that in 2014, Boronia Heights College moved to the primary school site; the amalgamated school is called Boronia K-12 College.
Bung was reported to be seen in Harcourt Road, at approximately 8.55AM, less that 130 metres from the school gate. This sighting however, has never been confirmed. The school did not contact her parents, just assuming that Bung was sick, as she was rarely absent. At the same time, her parents had no reason to think she hadn’t made it to school that morning.
However, when Bung hadn’t arrived home at 3.40PM, her mother wondered aloud where she might have been. At that moment, the phone rang. Fred answered, and Dyamai had called to remind Bung that they were going to be playing football the next day. Fred questioned why Dyamai did not tell her this at school, and Dyamai replied that Bung was not at school that day.
“And that’s when panic set in. I was like, ‘What do you mean, she wasn’t at school today?’”
Nid and Fred drove over to Boronia Heights College, where it was confirmed by the school principal that Bung was indeed absent that day. They proceeded to search the campus, but were unable to find Bung. By 4.20PM, they were at Knox Police Station, alerting police that their daughter was missing.
Officers urged them to speak with family and friends and try to contact anyone that might know where Bung is. Later, Fred and Nid went to Dyamai’s house, and asked her to help them contact Bung’s friends.
Bung had left her phone at home that day, which was not an unusual occurrence for her. It had also been raining earlier that morning, and Dyamai’s mother gave her a lift to school. They paused at the little park where her and Bung would meet, but Bung wasn’t there.
The Initial Search
Fred and Nid called or visited every single one of Bung’s friends, but no one had seen her. Others in the school community aided, and were calling around too. After a sleepless night, Bung’s parents returned to Knox Police Station, and they began scouring the area.
They walked through the streets, knocked on doors, searched shops, parks and vacant blocks. They made and distributed posters, taping them to lampposts, bus stops and in the local mall. The local news had picked up the story, and the public became aware of the missing 13 year old.
“Friends and workmates were dropping in and organizing search parties, and people were setting up Facebook pages and bringing us food. There were TV cameras everywhere, and reporters sitting out front and chasing you down the street.”
Focus turned to the family, with police and investigators asking her friends and family about the lead up to the disappearance, and questioning if Bung’s demeanor had changed in the last few days. All came back with the same story, that she had been happy and relatively normal, and that no incidents had occurred that would have upset her.
Tips began pouring in, and her social media pages, which are reported to include three Facebook pages and a Myspace account, were investigated thoroughly, but nothing strange was found. This discouraged the theory that she was targeted by an online predator.
Police combed through local CCTV footage, primarily from train stations and shopping centres. They knocked on hundreds of homes, and questioned known sex offenders living locally. They even checked a local brothel, after a tip that a young Asian girl had been seen in one. Reportedly, they followed up on more than a thousand tips from the general public.
Bung’s stepfather Fred has openly admitted that at the time of her disappearance, he was a suspect.
“The father’s always the first suspect. They searched me, searched the house, all the cupboards, the roof. They even searched under the house because somebody said I’d been digging. I was under investigation for a long time. People were saying, ‘Oh, it’s got to be him.’ It didn’t worry me. I've got nothing to hide.”
Investigators also reached out to her birth father and other family in Thailand, but reached a dead end. The major theory surrounding this case, that she had been abducted by chance, potentially forced into a vehicle, with no witnesses.
On July 7th, 2011, just over a month after the disappearance, Bung’s mother returned to Thailand, a trip that had been planned more than a year in advance.
"She needs a break. We had plans to go to Thailand. Life can't stop. Stuff gets out of hand and it gets messier. We have a house over there and land interests and family.”
Her sister, Pang, stayed in Australia with her stepfather.
With very little leads to follow, police began conducting searches of the local parklands, including the forested and mountainous areas, which included Dandenong Ranges National Park, as well as Doongalla Forest. The SES (State Emergency Service) conducted a search for Bung, almost 3 weeks after her disappearance.
On June 21st, a 16 year old girl alerted police of an abduction attempt, where she says a man grabbed her from behind after she refused to get into his car. The girl was able to flee, and hide in bushes until the man gave up and drove away. While police could not surely say that this is directly connected to Bung’s disappearance, it is vital to mention this happened less from 7km from where Bung was last seen. The man was said to have been driving an early model light blue sedan, is described as being of Southern European descent, and estimated to be between 50 and 60 years old.
Almost a week later, on June 29th, an eleven year old girl of Asian descent came forward and told police she had escaped an abduction attempt. She reported that a man in a surgical mask had tried to snatch her from the street while she was walking to school, only a few blocks from where Bung went missing.
Police thought the two cases could be possibly linked, and the story gave the family hope that they would find out what happened to Bung. The police put resources into the claim, distributing a police sketch of the suspect. However, about a week later, the girl admitted that she had made up the story, confessing to her family and subsequently law enforcement that the story was untrue.
On November 1st 2011, Victoria Police announced the formation of Taskforce Puma to investigate Bung’s disappearance.
In December 2013, more than 2 years after her disappearance, a man came forward and claimed to have hit and killed Bung with his car, where he panicked and proceeded to bury her body in a local reserve. After an extensive search, the police found nothing, and released the man after extensive questioning, saying that parts of his story didn’t add up.
In February 2014, police offered a $1 million reward for information on the cold case, leading to a conviction. On the 3rd anniversary of the case, Detective Inspector John Potter released new information to the public about the possible sighting of Bung. There was a sighting of a young Asian teenager in the back of a station wagon on Boronia Road, the morning Bung went missing. The girl was reportedly wearing a light, collared shirt and a dark-blue V-neck jumper.
Police said they can not confirm whether or not the girl was Bung, but were urging to hear from anyone who may have seen the car. They believe the white Ford Falcon station wagon was being driven by a man in his late 50s or early 60s with a combed-back rock-and-roll hair style and a tattooed arm. The station wagon is said to be a 1988-1996 model.
On the fifth anniversary of the case, Victoria Police released new information to the public about another possible sighting of Bung on the day she went missing. The new information reported that an Asian girl was seen sitting in the front seat of a white station wagon in Rowville. The car was described as a white station wagon, similar to a 1971-1973 Holden HQ Kingswood with the rear seats folded down. It was reportedly being driven by a Caucasian man, in his late 30s to early 40s, with a large tattoo on the left side of his neck and sleeve tattoos on both his arms.
The $1 million dollar reward still stands in Australia, which police hope will entice someone to come forward. Bung’s mother returned home to Thailand, citing that she found it too painful to stay in Australia.
Vanidda and Fred are still married, both flying to and from Thailand and Australia to see each other. Vanidda tends to come back to Australia for holidays and events. Pang, Bung’s sister, is still living in Australia, having graduated from Swinburne University in 2016.
If you have any information on the disappearance of Bung Siriboon, please contact Crime Stoppers at www.crimestoppers.com.au
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2020.09.11 07:43 ThrowAway_0x0 Is this misogyny and is it getting in the way?
Let me start off by saying I (33M) have trust issues with people in general, but particularly distrust women.
I wasn’t always like this. I use to be (in high school and early 20s) what some might call a “ladies man”. I was more outgoing and social, and had good relationships with female friends and was able to interact socially with new girls I’d meet. I was confident in who I was because I was getting the positive feedback in the form of attention from girls. Fast forward to today and I’m a completely different person.
I had a decent upbringing, but I did experience certain things that may have affected me.
• At the age of 6 I was sexually molested by a random woman in a store.
• My aunt, who would watch me and my siblings while my mother worked, was physically abusive.
• My mother was physically abusive but only with my and not my younger brother and sister.
• At the age of 9, a woman that my parents were friends with showed me porno and touched my genitals. I still remember her saying “I’m checking to see if you liked it.”
• When I was in middle school, a “girlfriend” of mine spread rumors that I was gay after we broke up and later told me she did that to “get back at me”.
• My first high school GF cheated on me on our anniversary by giving a random guy a hand job while at a movie.
• When I was a sophomore (age 16) I got kicked out of school and had to go to summer school. My summer school teacher was a very pretty young brunette. She was very flirty and it lead to an “relationship” that was probably inappropriate.
• Another high school GF cheated and got pregnant by one of my friends. After she told me, she was upset that I wasn’t thrilled to talk about the baby given that it was a product of her infidelity. She made me feel like a bad guy for not accepting that.
• My first college GF, cheated on my on the very first day at her out of state school with a guy she met during orientation. She also lost her virginity to him. When she told me about it her exact words were, “You idiot, I cheated on you, and you know what? I’m glad I did.”
• When I was about 22 I worked at a Macy’s and a woman who worked in a different department sexually harassed me when we were leaving at night by trying to kiss me and grabbing my butt when I backed away. When I declined her advances, she spread a rumor that I was gay.
• My most recent GF was verbally and emotionally abusive. She would insult me when I would try to stand up for myself. She would demean next by calling me a “cry baby ass bitch” when I would ask her not to speak to me like that. She would deliberately ask me if I was gay when I didn’t want to have sex as a way to antagonize me.
• Last year, I was falsely accused of sexual harassment at work. I worked in security and there was a female employee (we’ll call her Ashley) who was violating two company policies on a daily basis regard the designated employee entrances, and the checking of all bags and packages entering/exiting the building. I spoke to her supervisor so he could address it with her. She then started showing up to my office asking my staff if I was there, despite the fact that she would see me around the building daily and never spoke to me to talk about the issue. About 2 weeks later, my supervisor calls me to his office and tells me a female employee filed a sexual harassment complaint against me. He described the alleged incident and the people involved and I immediately knew it was Ashley. She claimed that on one occasion where she exited through the wrong door, I chased her down, met her at the door, and “said something inappropriate” that “made her uncomfortable”. Luckily for me, as a member of security, we had access to the CCTV cameras which showed no such thing ever occurred. About a week and a half later I get an email from HR (as we always did when an employee was terminated) with the subject line “Integrity Investigation” that stated that Ashely has been terminated.
PHEW! Obviously, I’ve been through a lot of hurtful experiences that involved women I trusted and we’re close to me. The ones involving GFs have been especially harmful and has led to a lot of distrust.
When it comes to relationship, I feel I cannot ever really trust or believe what a woman tells me. I have been cheated on by every girlfriend I’ve ever had, and on more than one occasion, she slept AND got pregnant by the guy. This had led me to feel like the relationship was a sham and just something for her to do while bored. In my mind, you cannot cheat on someone you love (your conscious won’t let you) so logically if you do cheat, you don’t love that person. I was always left feeling like the I love you’s were fake and none of it was genuine.These experiences have severely distorted my sense of self and what I’m worth. The toxic behaviors I saw have also severely harmed how I see women. I often view them as not capable of truly experiencing empathy for men. I have a sense that my brain is simply operating off my past experiences which have illustrated this lack of empathy on a interpersonal level.
I feel stuck because it’s been so long since I had a positive healthy relationship with a woman that I feel I’ve lost my ability to talk to women. I find them mostly uninteresting. I can see a really attractive women and feel absolutely nothing. Part of my brain is saying “your biology is telling you to pursue that”, but then my logical brain says “no, don’t. You already know how that goes” (more heartache and betrayals). That, plus the fact that I’m short and not attractive which disqualifies me for most women.
Now I find that I really struggle just being around women. I feel really uncomfortable and self-conscious around women. I feel like my presence is a nuisance to women, and my appearance an eyesore. I constantly feel like women are judging me. Judging me for being short. For being unattractive. For not having more money or a better job. It’s gotten so bad even the idea of having sex with a woman is terrifying. I’ve been made to feel inadequate my whole life and I feel permanently damaged by that. Then to have to listen to all of society say how men are trash. I’m starting to feel like it’s true. Men are indeed trash. I feel nasty. I feel my interest in women (even when not sexual) is gross, disgusting, shameful and needs to be suppressed, and I don’t know why I feel that so strongly. I feel like I’m constant hearing that women just want to be left alone and it just perpetuates everything. Even in public, I avoid standing too close to women, or even looking at them. Ugh…I just feel so gross for being a normal straight guy.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t hate women, but there is definitely some resentment due to my past. But also because boys and young men are being told to be tall, sweet, kind, caring, etc., but women’s real life selection choices don’t match what women claim to want; somehow the scum bags are the ones still getting picked. I would like to be able to have a girlfriend someday, and I’m working to get myself in a healthier state mentally, emotionally, etc. but I can’t help but think once again, I will devote myself to a woman whose just going to leave when the next guy comes around because “that’s just what women do” (this is according to my experiences, it is NOT statement of fact).
Are these feelings I’m having misogyny? Whenever I have tried to discuss this openly and honestly I get called a misogynist even tho I feel I’m just sharing my past and expressing the pain those experiences caused.
Please don’t judge me too hardshly. I know I’m a fucked up piece of shit person. This is really difficult to talk about and I know I need help and advice.
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