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So, we all know that the Saikous are going to be important to YanSim’s story- it’s been made pretty obvious over the years that they’re orchestrating something having to do with Ayano, which is why they let her attend Akademi. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized this didn’t make much sense. In an effort to explain this plot point, I compiled a list of theories (some mine, some by others), next to the reasons of why I personally find them unsatisfactory:
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Could meth be the reason he may ‘think’ he doesn’t love me? Or does he probably actually not anymore? Honestly I just want him back and I’m reallly just hoping he’s saying that because he’s not thinking straight. I can’t believe he would just stop loving me practically overnight like that..
How would I go about getting him help.. his family doesn’t seem to believe in rehab. He’s on probation so I feel there’s not a lot I could do without risking him getting sent back to jail.
If you need any more info let me know.
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Summary: Fighting immortals is a sweetheart job for someone obsessed with the afterlife. Dying on the job, however, is cutting it too close. However, Julian's curiosity with the great beyond pushes him a little too far, back to the land of the living and cursed with a newly damned soul, just like the immortals he's sworn to fight...
First chapter --- Previous chapter here!! --- Next chap
Cover art --- Rate me on Royal Road!
Sofia’s words pierced his brain before even he’d realized he was fully awake. He actually internalized her tone before internalizing anything else about his situation..
Her voice was anger untempered. It dripped with something that struck fear into Julian’s stomach.
Then he shifted and felt his wrists were shackled. His ankles too were strapped down. Really, what had he expected? He’d freed Lady Helga. They were, at the very least, going to question him but really, they may very well never let him go. It can’t have been too many hours, however. Ultimately they’d realize that no attack from Lài Ming would come and then they’d have to listen to him.
“How long’s passed?”
“Don’t— Pooja, don’t let him talk.”
“We can’t trust him, we can’t.” Sofia sounded… broken. Her voice shook and cracked as she spoke.
“Cortez. I will handle this.” Laghardi’s voice was also surprisingly subdued. Like she was holding something back. “Three hours have passed.”
Was that right? A talented immortal could come back in a matter of minutes but he did tend to take a bit longer. Had it been long enough for the Infleurgents to notice Lài Ming’s absence of an attack? Probably not.
He squeezed his eyes together. “Lài Ming?”
“He hit about thirty minutes ago.” Laghardi’s voice was quiet.
Julian’s heart skipped a beat before increasing significantly and he finally unglued his eyes. He blinked several seconds, taking in the cold expression on Laghardi’s face. Her eyes held no spark whatsoever, but for someone who’d allegedly just survived a fight, she looked remarkably unscathed.
“I don’t understand. Did we win?” He kept his eyes on Laghardi.
“We weren’t attacked. They hit HQ.”
Julian’s whole body sagged at this. So she’d lied. She’d lied to Laghardi, she’d lied about rerouting Lài Ming’s troops and as a result, the Infleurgents hadn’t warned HQ. The Infleurgents had trusted that she’d rerouted them based on the fact that she tapped a device, claimed it was a tracking device, and a series of aircraft they’d been following on a radar had changed course. But the Infleurgents had known that Lady Helga had intentionally been captured. At least, Julian had known, but the others had guessed. How’d their only weapon, element of surprise, had been lost at the start of the fight yet they still managed to win. How she’d immediately asked to see him, somehow knowing he was there.
She’d planned the whole thing and they fell for it hook line and sinker.
“He freed Mother Pax?” Julian asked, already knowing the answer.
Laghardi nodded once. “You freed Lady Helga.”
He knew this was coming. He could lie or tell a half truth. Explain how she’d told him how to open the door and it had freed her restraints instead. That was true. But Julian was also just a bad liar and he knew it. And they’d all been lied to by a real pro.
“She told me that Lài Ming was coming to free her and if I let her go, she’d meet up with him.” Besides, they’d already been spying on him without him knowing. For all he knew, they’d seen the whole conversation between him and Helga. She’d claimed that they’d finally had some real privacy but that too could have been a lie. “I didn’t know how to get out of the room and she said it would call off the attack.” Logically, they had to get it. They’d also fallen for her promises. Releasing Helga was a pittance compared to letting a headquarters fall… “Did the whole thing get destroyed?” he asked, voice a whisper. “Were there survivors?”
Laghardi swallowed hard, looking up at the ceiling of the medbay. After a moment she let out a long breath and looked back down at him. “No. Yes. It wasn’t a total demolition. It was an inside job. Ash siphoning and enough fighting to let a small force escape, ostensibly with Mother Pax.”
Ash siphoning. Removing the ashes of the immortal and replacing it with the ashes of a mortal. It was impossible to know whether or not you actually had the immortal’s ashes unless they were given the time to potentially reconstruct. This didn’t matter when you had full control over your base but with the amount of double agents Omicron HQ must have accumulated, it may have become possible.
It must have been, if they were theorizing that Pax had been freed.
“How bad?” he asked.
“A fair number of casualties. Nothing like the attack on Upsilon but not small.” Laghardi rose from his bedside, rolling her shoulders, face losing a bit of the hard mask she’d been wearing. “Dammit Blake. You had to let her go. How’d you even know how to do that?”
“Do that? Let her go?” He sighed, body slumping even more. “She told me how to open the door using the override key you gave me. Except the instructions she gave me released her cuffs.”
“Why’d she bother lying to you there?” Laghardi asked, eyes narrow.
Julian tried to shrug through his restraints. “Cause she just gets off lying? So I could claim a valid excuse for how I let her go, probably. I think she wanted me to lie, say I didn’t know it would release her. You had that room recorded, right? You saw and heard everything?”
“No.” Sofia finally broke her silence, her voice harsh. “No, we didn’t. Our power was cut by someone on the inside. One of the Infleurgents is a traitor, HQ is in shambles, Pax is free, and Matti is missing.”
Julian looked over at her, taking her in for the first time since he’d woken. Her eyes were ringed with smudged makeup and her skin was blotchy and puffy. “You think Matti was a traitor?”
The way her lips parted at this, the way her eyes grew huge with outrage, indicated that she in no way thought this. “How dare you? How fucking dare you! You’re the one who let that bitch escape, you’re the one—”
“Pooja, he’s deflecting. It’s not Matti, I know, it couldn’t have been. It’s not.” Her voice grew thick with tears at this last word.
Laghardi put a hand on the woman’s shoulder as tears began to run over, leaving dark trails down her face.
“I would rather believe that it wasn’t him.” Laghardi’s voice trembled as she spoke. “I’ve known him longer than a lot of people here and we’re close. It’s entirely possible that he is still waiting for Lài Ming. He wasn’t slated to arrive for another hour or two, so if he’s playing it safe and staying away from his com stations, we may not hear from him for another few hours, when he realizes something’s wrong.”
“There was no sign of him checking in at the com stations since he set them up! He wouldn’t—”
“Sofia.” Laghardi’s voice was firmer now as her dark eyes bore into Sofia’s bloodshot blue ones. “If he was a mole, there’s nothing we can do until we hear from him. Until we hear back, we need to plan on how to move forward.”
“The immortals are working together,” Julian said. “All of them. At least…” His head throbbed. “That’s what Lady Helga said? And she could have been lying but all of the groups need to know. All of AngelThana needs to know.” Grace had been right, right from the very start. She’d been right to say they should have just given Omicron HQ the information. Hoarding the information to keep their own situation a secret had gotten people killed. It had freed Pax. All they had now was a lot of tainted information, a tardy sniper, and a lot of guilt.
“More information is always better than less but…” Laghardi stepped to the chair by the foot of Julian’s bed and sank down in it. “God I don’t know if I even want to know what she said. We come out stupider every word we hear from her, every time.”
This tickled something in Julian’s mind. He had to know. “Did she hurt anyone on her way out?” he asked. “Did we see her escape?”
Sofia’s head snapped to Laghardi. “Did she leave? Is she still in here somewhere?”
“We have video of her leaving from external cameras set up by Grace,” Laghardi said. “She’s out, out in the Alps somewhere. Actually, the aircraft that was honing in on our position stopped a few miles out about two hours ago and then turned. We have a missing snowschooner so it likely picked her up.”
“So they do have our location,” Julian asked.
She nodded. “Our position is compromised and we’ll have to move. Honestly, we need to rethink our entire strategy, both short and long term.” Her voice had that note to it, like they were sitting and planning a vacation after hearing their flight had been canceled, but her eyes held a glassy look. This was the second time in a few months that everyone in the base had been forced to dramatically change their lives but last time it was hopeful. A new weapon, a new tool, a new angle.
Now they’d be running. Or at least, as far as Laghardi assumed. Julian may have other plans, but looking now at the Colonel’s tense face and Sofia’s tearstained one, the idea of abandoning Fleur and his new friends was another stab in his chest. It’d be like losing Annie and the others all over again but somehow even harder. These last few months had been more intense than any in his whole life. He had and would die for these people.
But really, lies or not, he couldn’t think around Lady Helga’s logic. With what the immortals knew and the wealth and power and technology at their hands, the game was over unless he played it differently. This could be a death trap, it probably was, but he had to try.
“Am I going to isolation?” Julian’s voice felt heavy in his mouth. They had every right to say yes after he freed Helga but hopefully they would understand that he hadn’t been too much more fooled than they had.
“If we put everyone in isolation that we suspected of being a traitor, then I would just order this entire base firebombed.” Laghardi stood up. “It’s entirely possible that you’re an ancient immortal who has doctored hundreds of records and images and videos and planted dozens of witnesses to advocate for you having been around for only a few decades. But it’s no more likely that you did that than is it someone else in here is a mole.” She nodded at Sofia. “You can release him.”
“Pooja!” Sofia pulled at the threads on her soft blue sweater agitated. “It could be him.”
“It could be you.” Laghardi’s eyebrows slanted upward, the same weary look on her face. “The immortals’ plants go deep. It would be impossible to find one at this point without setting up traps but every trap could be devised by the mole themselves. Let him go. I’m going to the lounge to speak with Sykes.” Laghardi turned on her heel and strode from the room.
Sofia eyed Julian darkly and crossed her arms.
“I wouldn’t do anything to hurt anyone here,” he said. “Not you or Matti or Grace—” His heart sank. Grace. She hadn’t been here at his bedside when he woke up. Laghardi had said no one was hurt so that must’ve meant she hadn’t wanted to be there. Technically he’d planned on leaving her along with the rest of them but his heart still ached at the idea of leaving her still thinking he was a traitor. Or just hating his guts.
“How can I trust you?” She kept her arms tightly entwined.
“I have literally no way to convince you. Not after I’ve seen how fucking good the immortals are at manipulation, I can’t imagine ever trusting someone again. I think I— I think I do have an idea of who it might not be.” He mentally checked his logic once more before speaking again. “I mean, it’s using Helga information, so god knows what it means, but she did seem genuinely confused by the venojets. Curious. Or like she wasn’t expecting it in the slightest. She wasted a question asking about it.”
Sofia’s arms didn’t budge but her lip quirked ever so slightly at the praise of her work.
“Not everyone knew about them,” he said. “The soldiers, maybe doctors or janitorial staff or whatever. Only the main command knew and if it was one of us, then Helga would have known about it.” Of course, now thinking in the hysterically twisted logic of the immortals, it was entirely possible that she’d only asked about the gun so that she could leave them with this impression. But Julian so desperately wanted to see Sofia smile again.
She did. “I hadn’t thought of that. So not you or me or the Colonel or Matti… I know, I know what you’re going to say. He can handle himself. Shit what have we gotten ourselves into.” Slowly, her frigid posture relaxed and she started releasing him.
“You knew him before the whole Infleurgent thing?”
Her cheeks touched a shade of pink. “Last year he joined a recurring mission through the Alps. Something top secret, but he stopped by every week for about six months. Just kinda met and met again. He’s a good kid.”
“Twenty five. Been with us four years. God knows he’s seen things I haven’t.” She clicked the lock on his cuffs and they released. “So I’m not afraid for him. Odds of Lady Helga happening to run into him are low. And Pooja said that the place she was picked up at wasn’t close to where he was set up so unless she was chasing him around the Alps, he should be safe. I don’t even know how she’d know he was out there. If you’re right about the invader not being command staff, only Kyline and Pooja knew he was out there.” She nodded, reassured. “He’ll be ok.”
Julian sat up in the bed, eying the heart monitor to see if it had betrayed the sour feeling in his stomach. Laghardi and Grace had not been the only people to know about Matti’s station. Julian hadn’t known any specifics and the odds that Helga had gone out of her way to hunt him down just to kill him made no sense. But it didn’t sit well.
“Speaking of Kyline and Pooja… Or Kyline. Is she—”
Sofia’s eyes turned crestfallen. “She found your body. When the alarms first went off saying the interrogation room had been breached, she put Pooja’s specialists in charge, grabbed two privates and ran. I um…” Sofia sat in Laghardi’s vacant seat and tucked her knees to her chin. “We all were really concerned at first. And you take a bit to put yourself together so you were brought here with me and the other nerds.” She gestured at the medbay. “About an hour later, Sykes reported that the breach on our security, the one that shut down power, had been internal. Then Pooja got wind of the attack on HQ. Sightings of Lài Ming. And we realized that Helga had played us and we had a mole. You were the obvious candidate.”
“Imagine I’m a pretty easy scapegoat,” he said, a bit more bitter than was warranted. After all, he did free Helga, but getting thrown under the bus for being immortal was getting tired. All told, if he’d had his way, he’d be dead by now.
“Few people were in your corner. Kyline for one. Pooja was trying to keep us all calm but something was bothering her too.” A tremble ran through her body. “Finally Sykes asked if there’d been any word from Matti. That’s when Pooja said she hadn’t heard back and I… I said some words. About you and then to Kyline when she defended you. She left. I don’t know where she is now.”
This day really had been the roller coaster from hell. Somehow despite the abject misery that was their current situation, Julian still glowed knowing that someone, Grace, had defended her.
“Can I see her?”
Sofia nodded. “I suppose. She’s in her bunk now. Pooja’s probably debriefing her, letting her know what we know.”
Julian nodded and hoisted himself to his feet. “Getting better at putting myself back together I think. I don’t feel half so crappy.”
“Is it peaceful? The river?”
Julian stared at the wistful look in her eyes. “Sometimes I contemplate just staying there. Finding a way to just pause my path there instead of coming back. But I know you need me so…”
She nodded. “Well thank you then. For coming back.”
Julian gave her a tired smile and turned from the room, the conversation still on his mind. What would it take to live in limbo? He’d stayed a little longer this time, exploring the water itself. It was surprisingly shallow, with surprising being an understatement. It only came up to his chest but it was also the most refreshing thing he’d ever felt. Like being submerged in Spring. When he’d crawled back to his boat, he was dry again.
He shook the feeling from his head and turned towards the hallway to Grace’s quarters. As he walked, he reached a hand deep into his right pocket. His thumb brushed over a drive he hadn’t put there and his heart skipped. Lady Helga’s coordinates? Had she told that much truth? He stopped himself from taking it out and investigating it in the hallway as he walked. That would be a task for later, for privacy.
“Ahem?” he said, actually saying the word aloud with no throat clearing to accompany. “Grace?”
The door opened after a few seconds, revealing her icy eyes. “When are you gonna just start calling me Kyline like the rest of this daft place does?” She opened the door the rest of the way, gesturing him to enter.
“Figured… well you call me Blake usually.”
“Cause I’m a soldier.” She settled down on her bed where, judging by the unkempt blankets, she’d been previously. “And I know the proper way to address people.”
This actually tracked the more Julian thought about it. With the exception of Matti, all the soldiers called her Grace or Sarge. “Are you cool with me calling you Kyline?” It felt funny on his tongue, almost too irreverent a name for the woman. Like Kyline was a teenager chomping gum, not a grown woman in charge of global security. Which isn’t to say he didn’t like the name.
“I mean, I really don’t give a fuck. You’re gonna be Blake or Julian, whichever my mind jumps to faster.” She leaned her elbows on her knees and nodded to a small stool by a desk. “Gonna sit?”
He did. “I imagine Pooja, uh, Laghardi? Uh, she debriefed you?”
“Yeeeeah, told me the whole bit. Von Marwitz gave us the fucking runaround. Buncha assclowns, all of us. I can’t believe she pulled a damn tracker from her pocket and tricked us all into— and for fuck’s sake we shoulda warned Omicron a week ago. What the hell were we thinking?” Her eyes burned and Julian remembered all her talk about keeping her men safe. What exactly had been the death toll on Omicron? “An anonymous tip would have been better than what we did. Wrote their death warrant and now ours too, letting the bitch get a tracker out and active while in here. Fuck.” She kicked the trunk across from her bed. “Worst thing is, I didn’t even think about it til we got the word. I want to tear Laghardi a new asshole but I fell for it too. So’d you.”
“She had a lot of things to say,” Julian said, picking his words carefully. Now free from the heart monitor of the medbay, he had a bit more space to plan out his words.
“Lotta bullshit I bet.”
“I think she’s going to free all the immortals, if she hasn’t already.” He ran a nervous finger over the splintered wood of her desk, picking at a sliver with his nail.
“She said that?”
“She said she was getting them all together. All of them, the good and bad ones.”
He watched her face carefully but she just rolled her eyes, lip curled in a snarl. “No good immortals. You know that. Gotta be some kind of perverted to claw your way back. ‘Cept for you, they’re all fucked.”
“What if they aren’t though! I got through, others may have.” He didn’t want to sound too earnest but he needed an opinion, someone to tell him he was crazy.
“If they weren’t cracked to start, they are now.” She floated a hand to her collarbone, to the crucifix, before placing it back on her lap.
Julian blinked, staring at it in the light. “You said that belonged to Evangeline?”
Her frown at this was a new one. Something softer, concern or puzzlement. “I said… well, Eva yeah. I mean that’s her full name but I don’t think I ever said it.”
“When you were on the helicopter, after the ruins. You shouted the name and something in French.” He’d only just remembered the name but he’d alway meant to ask. It wasn’t looking like he’d stay around here much longer and he wanted to know.
“Oh yeah, guess that makes sense. Shit, surprised my kids haven't ribbed me for it.” She ran a hand through her white blond hair. “Uh, yeah, Eva died when she was sixteen. Accident, one I got to watch. Got this one trying to get into the car to get her out.” She showed him a burn scar on her arm. “I didn’t manage to. It was such a weird accident, some freaky timing. A truck with some, we’d later learn, real valuable shit on it fell off a bridge onto her car. Really suspicious.”
She shook her head. “No clue. I joined this place hoping to find answers and realized this wasn’t the X-Files where you just dig up old incidents and hope to get closure on your personal baggage. That was alright with me cause as soon as I learned about immortals, I knew the bastards had to die. That’s just how God made us.”
Julian couldn’t hold back a grin at her tone.
“My little cousin’s death is funny to you?”
He choked and hid it immediately. “No, no, just you—”
“God Julian, lighten up a hair, would you?” But her eyes too grew somber at this. “Not gonna be a lot more lightening up in the upcoming… months? Years? Life I guess.”
He finally managed to pick the whole woodchip off her desk, causing a long streak of pale wood to appear under the stained wood he’d just torn up.
“Nice,” she said, an eyebrow cocked. “Sure like breaking things, huh?”
“Sorry sorry. I—” He stood up, her words still bouncing in his skull. “Hey, do you think…”
Her eyes tracked on him carefully. “Think what?”
He swallowed hard. “Do you think the immortals taking over was an eventuality? That they were ultimately going to team up and that by the time we’d reached the technology age, it was just a matter of time?”
She tossed him an annoyed nose wrinkle for his efforts. “I think that’s entirely dependent on you civies doing your job. But you seem about as dense as dirt, Blake, so you might be right and it might be game over. Now get out of my room.”
He flinched at her dismissal, having hoped to stay a bit longer. She didn’t look mad but she did look a tad… fed up and maybe just a little disappointed. Still, she gave him a tired grin all the less as she roughly guided him to the door.
“I got a lot on my mind and this isn’t helping. Needed a distraction, not more melancholy.”
“We could, I mean I could talk about something different,” Julian said as she shoved him out. He didn’t really want to be alone and though it was a wild fantasy and the absolute wrong time for it, he had this crazy thought that maybe the two of them spending some time together in actual privacy might go somewhere.
“Tired of talking. It’s all anyone here does.” She deposited him in the hallway outside her rooms and planted her hands on the doorframe.
“Right. Sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Guess I just got some stuff on my mind. I’ll uh, just go back to my bunk then.”
She nodded, a strange half smile on her face. “Sounds good. I’ll see you tomorrow. Colonel’s got us briefing at six hundred, so unless I plan on staying up all night, it’s about time for sleep.”
Julian wouldn’t say it, but staying up all night did sound better than going back to his room alone where he’d be faced with uncertainties about his future, his eternal future, the future of AngelThana, the world, the freeing of immortals, the deaths at HQ, Matti’s disappearance… But clearly she was pretty done with him, so he just sighed and nodded.
“Sounds good. See you tomorrow, Kyline.”
“Yeah. See you tomorrow, Julian.”
Thank you again! Let me know what you think in the comments ^_^
Previous chapter here!! --- Next chap
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2020.10.20 17:41 WeAllLikeMemes Spy camera xtube
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