2020.10.21 07:49 elg9553 Mother and father lack of communication skills and I have to clean it up.
Sorry for all the spelling errors. I am not a native English speaker
I marked the problem with ** for anyone who do not care about the backstory
I am a 31 year old man And my mom(68) and my dad (65) have been married for 35 years now.
Now to paint a picture. my mother was married before she met my father and he abounded her so that gave her a lot of insecurity issues
My father I don't really know that much about only that he was working late shift works often night he's a truck driver for the postal service.
I have two older half brothers my mom got from that other marriage, and they are 18 and 14 years older than me.
My mom for as long as I can remember always liked to backtalk people to me especially when she drove me to practice growing up, and frequently she painted my father as an alcoholic who drinks so much he falls asleep in the chair especially on non workdays. Now I did not see any of this myself, but I was probably just a selfish kid or he hid it too well from me.
She constantly criticized his mother for being a judgemental Christian old hag and since it is not very normal in my country with a religious belief anymore she would favour the grandkids she would deem Christian enough, I have always been an atheist and have to say I don't really feel a strain there.. My mom have a lot of health issues due to her weight she struggles sleeping and whenever you tell her about your struggles she always have it worse, and always feel the need to talk about her issues
I didn't really reflect on this growing up but all this information is not something you lay on the shoulders of an 8 year old boy saying she had been threatening to leave my dad if he didn't stop drinking. She hates alcohol because her father was a real alcoholic.
** Now the problem for anyone who wants to skip to this point **
My father has recently begun searching for porn and joined stupid local singles sites and his mail gets spammed with all this shit and my mom is calling me to talk sense into my father driving to my place crying and begging me to clean his computer as he said he was gonna stop, but he ia terrible with technology and don't know how to remove the spam.
I told her to leave him as I don't really care if they are together if they are so unhappy, but she is afraid because since she retired early due to health reasons she don't have enough income to make it on her own.
I feel like a garbage bin and like it is expected of me to clean out their mess.
It seems I paint my mom in a bad picture here but I didn't really know my father as he was always working and my mother worked during the day and was home when I got off school so spent most time with her, I am sure their problem is not one-sided, but I tend to get my mother's side as she is the one berating me about her unhappiness and fears.
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2020.10.14 04:57 Kiwi_the_snack They say it gets better but it doesn't.
i know this is long but please read because i really really need some moral support. or you might find my life story funny because how life finds a way to keep kicking me when i'm down over and over and over again. this is my life story up until today
i was born into a family with a dad who is not at all a father figure. i had to witness him hit my mom, punch things throw chairs at my mom, scream everyday, get drunk, cheat on my mom, say to my face that he thinks i will never even make it through high school and that he ''doesn't give a shit about me''. divorce was constantly debated but they never did because my mom was a stay at home mom of 5 kids. my mom has had ocd tendencies since before i was born. she gave that to me. it is so much worse for me then when she dealt with it.
then my sister is threatening to kill herself, punching holes in the wall, and eventually just gave up on all of us and left to live with her boyfriends family and never came back. i was really close with her.
then i start getting bullied at my school. my mom took me out of that school and my mom takes me out of that school and i was in and out of schools for 3 years. because of this i had no friends and ended up a year behind in school which i still am.
then at the age of 12 my mental health crashes. everything was too much. so much pressure from school, so much conflict in my house. i had no friends. i had no safe environment. i fall into a bad depression. my ocd was out of control i was spending hours a day checking that the stove was off and the door was locked because i was convinced that if they weren't that it would kill my family. i was having panic attacks. i started anorexic behaviors and some days i would eat nothing at all, only drink 1 cup of coffee. i started cutting myself. i started having bad suicidal thought. i started considering killing myself, daily.
after years of suffering in silence with these issues i finally told my mom that i needed help. she brought me to a therapist. it took many months for me to get any sort of recovery. she diagnosed me with severe ocd and generalized anxiety disorder. i start taking meds. even though my mom acted like i would be a drug addict for it. after a long time the meds and therapy start working a bit and i start to have some good days
just as things start to show any progress my uncle dies. it sends me right back to where i was before
after some more time i start to get the slightest bit better but my mom decides i had had enough treatment and now i was cured. she stopped taking me to therapy when i still very much needed it. i never even got to say goodbye
then i meet this nice boy who was my first friend. we start talking and after a while he asks me to be his girlfriend. i said yes and thought to myself ''yes now things will finally get better''. he texts me only a week after asking me to be his gf that has has changed his mind and no longer wants to be with me...wow it only took a week
then my family decides they want to go on an alaskan cruise. i am forced to go with them. i was 14 at this point. i met another guy on the boat who was 18. we spend a lot of time together on the trip and we start talking more and more... and he starts touching me more and more. hugs lead to kisses on the check which leads to mouth kisses which leads to french kisses. he took my first kiss and didn't even ask my permission. but i let it happen because i was young and hurting and so so desperate for male love because i don't have any in my life. i didn't want anything sexual. i just wanted a hug and for someone to say ''i love you'' and ''it's going to be ok'' to say the things my dad never said to me. i thought that him touching me was just a sign that he loved me. it got so far that he was slapping and grabbing my butt whenever someone looked away and at the last few days of the trip he was literally humping me in a private part of the ship. i hated it and would just stare at the ceiling uncomfortable and scared and waiting for it to be over. but i still let it happen because he told me he was going to marry me and he would say ''i love you'' after he was done. after the trip we kept in touch for probably 5 months . during that time in the begging he would say how much he loved me and that he was gonna marry me. then he starts asking for nudes over and over even when i say no. then he starts sending me unwanted dick pics. that was the first time i ever saw male anatomy. then he starts saying that since he send nudes to me that i need to send them back.. so i did. i sent him pictures of my 14 year old body. i sent him my own child porn. and he couldn't get enough of it. eventually he gets bored and after he had screenshotted everything i sent him me reveals to me that he had a girlfriend the whole time.
this did horrible things to my already shattered mental state.
then my mom gets pregnant and i get excited for once and start planning baby names and preparing to be the best sister i can be for them because i don't have a good relationship with my older sisters. then my mom has a miscarriage and the baby dies
then i get back together with the first guy who broke up with me after 1 week. we've been together even since the miscarriage and i'm 90% sure he just wants my body. i stay because he's the only friend i have. he doesn't treat me the best sometimes but he's all that i have
then my mom gets pregnant again. i don't get my hopes up though because of what happened last time
then i start to branch out and try to make new friends. i end up knowing 2 more people that i planned to get to know better
then a freaking PANDEMIC shows up. but because of the timing with my moms pregnancy i haven't been able to see my boyfriend or a single person i know in half a YEAR. ever friendship i was working towards has now forgotten about me. i'm not even allowed to step outside for fresh air because of my moms ocd and she thinks it will kill me. i can count on one hand the amount of times i've been outside in the past 6 months. going outside was the only thing that helped my mental state before and now i can't even do that. i am so so isolated. and as the cherry on top of everything i have to give my guinea pigs away because i am to depressed to care for them. i have started to cut again. i have started to have anxiety attacks again.
NOTHING CHANGES. THE PAIN NEVER STOPS.
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2020.10.14 04:20 xxrenegade17xx Mom boy porn pictures
I'm sorry for the long read. I've never told this full story and I wanted it all out. When I was a freshman in highschool I got into my first "serious" relationship. I don't remember a lot of details. I do remember one of my best friends telling me what a bad idea he thought the relationship was, that this boy I was dating had a reputation for being a little crazy at times. I just was basically like "what's the worst that can happen?" It seemed pretty juvenile, we were too shy to really even show affection in school. We just texted all day every day. He told me he loved me and I told him we didn't even know what love is yet, but eventually I started saying it back. We sexted a little bit but I grew up in a conservative community and had never seen porn or anything sex related really except for some really intense make out scenes in movies so I really didn't know what I was doing. This carried on for a while until I was due to have surgery. I was born with scoliosis, a 78° curve in my spine and a twisted rib cage, which had been being slowly corrected with VEPTRs while I was growing and now that I was pretty much done growing, it was time for me to get fused. I was going to be out of school for the rest of the year to recover with my sister and my parents taking care of me from the living room since I couldn't walk up the stairs. I had my surgery and spent a few weeks or so in the hospital with a tunneled epidural catheter and a cocktail of pain killers so I don't remember a lot but I know he came to visit me there because there's a picture. Anyway, I got home and was on the road to recovery. It was a really mortifying time in my life. My family had to help me use the bathroom, shower, eat, anything. I would have fought them on it since I was an extremely proud and independent teen but I was so drugged I was only really capable of thinking "This is humiliating". After a while, I was able move and to use the bathroom on my own and so both my parents went back to work everyday and my sister was a senior going to school half a day on work release so from about 7:30 am to about 1:00 pm I was alone. I was still on so many medications that I had to take every couple hours a day so my mom wrote down in a notebook the name of the medication I took, what dose, and what time I took it every time I took anything so that no one would get confused and I wouldn't OD. I still have the notebook. It goes through oxycodone, diazepam, amitriptyline, and so on. Anyway, the boy I was dating starting saying he wanted to spend his lunch time with me at my house. I lived pretty close so he could just walk and we didn't lock our back door so he could just come in. I don't remember if this was the first time he came over during his lunch but it's the first time I that remember. I was laid up on our couch in some stretchy pants and a loose shirt for comfort. I remember he came over to the couch and started tugging at my pants and making suggestions. I remember telling him "no" multiple times. I remember holding onto my pants so he couldn't take them off. I eventually stop fighting. I didn't say "yes", I was just too weak to fight him anymore. He wasn't hurting me or anything, he just was relentless and I was just weak. I remember laying on the couch after he had left staring at a text he had just sent me and just sobbing. I don't remember what the text said or anything I just remember my phone and the crying. He did this a few more times, I really don't remember how many more, but I didn't fight after the first time. I came off my medication after a while and I broke up with him. I don't remember a lot besides that. I didn't tell anyone immediately, but he did. When I came back to school the next year, the boys were awful. Finally when I was finishing my junior year, I told my sister what had happened. Then eventually in the following years I told the rest of my family. When I was a freshman, I never thought "I was raped." I felt that I had made a mistake and it was my fault. Now that I'm older and have opened up about this to other people, I feel like maybe I don't hold as much of the blame as I originally thought? But after all, I was his girlfriend, I had sexted him, and I let him come over while we were alone. What do you think?
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2020.10.11 22:12 thattashh Mom boy porn pictures
I’ve been posting on this sub for a while now but my story is taking a new turn (my previous posts go into detail about all I’ve gone through with my PA for now over 2 years)
My fiancé and I had a fight and another d-day. It resulted in me leaving the house for a few hours but ultimately coming home to hear him out. He begged me for one more week for him to prove he’s going to change, ect. I reluctantly agreed and have let the week go by, simply observing any changes in his behavior. Something started feeling off yesterday and I couldn’t quite figure it out. I was going to let him know we needed to talk but I decided to look through his phone first because he won’t admit to me if he has had a relapse.
He uses Reddit and I know he uses Imgur. I had looked through his Imgur account before and never saw anything, it said he had only joined in May which didn’t raise any major concerns to me as it’s popular on Reddit. He has looked at porn on YouTube before so on his phone, I typed in “Y” in the search by to pull up the app. I noticed that Imgur had suggested something called “Yanny” and I clicked it open. It was some a collection of pictures of a girl he knows IRL and hooked up with in the past, and followed on Instagram (before he deleted it) and some of her pictures she posted in a bikini, a side boob shot, and some of her nudes. I went back to the search bar and typed in A. I was completely surprised to see “Ashh” pop up and clicked it open. It was photos of me. Nude photos I have taken and sent him, photos he has taken of us during sex, some that have my face... I went back and typed B and one called BB popped up (those happen to be his ex’s initials) and I felt like someone punched me in the gut. There was a new picture from one of her online profiles and a bunch of old nude photos of her. I only saw a couple before I closed it because I was literally going to be sick. I have no idea what exactly he kept and I never will. There was a total of 4 albums including mine, some of which were photos I found hidden on his work laptop a few months ago that he swore he didn’t remember and didn’t know about. He says they’re private so no one was actually able to see my album.
Our entire relationship I’ve had anxiety instilled in me about his ex. There were multiple times in the beginning of our relationship where she came over to his house (what became our house) when I wasn’t home to get her stuff. Without going into too much detail, there’s been other things around her that have caused me serious anxiety and feeling like not enough for him. Like he happened to get me pregnant so now he’s stuck with me. He assured me time after time that I had nothing to worry about... but that’s obviously not true. I found out I was pregnant again in mid February and I guess February/March is when he saved a photo from her social media, which means even after finding out we were having another baby, he still needed to have her pictures in his “collection”.
I’m leaving him, he knows. I feel so broken and overwhelmed. I’m about to be 39 weeks pregnant and will be a single mom of two boys.
I feel like no one will ever love me the way I know I deserve to be loved. I was never enough for my fiancé, or my ex boyfriend before him. I don’t understand what I’ve done to be cheated on, lied to, gaslighted, manipulated, abused in different ways, body shamed, and made to feel so naive and alone between my past two relationships. I mean like yeah I don’t have a perfect body right now but... I had a baby and as I started finally losing the baby weight and going to the gym, I got pregnant and COVID hit. So no I don’t have a flag stomach (there’s a 7lb baby in me) or a perfect form butt or big boobs... but I deserve to be wanted for more than that. I deserve to be wanted by my partner for me, without fear that I’m not enough or that he’s constantly looking elsewhere. I’ve realized I’m somewhere between two of his “types”. I’m half Latina and half white and those literally seem to be what he’s into (thick Latinas or petite blondes).
And now I genuinely feel like no man will ever love me, and want only me (sexually, emotionally, ect) or honestly even be atttacted to me. I’m covered in stretch marks from my babies, I’ll have had (hopefully) two vaginal births, I’m FULLLLLL of insecurities caused by two different men from two different relationships where I wasn’t enough even in my best shape...
I basically feel dead inside
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2020.10.07 15:55 HaulA7Octl Mom porn pictures boy
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2020.10.06 00:18 500scnds [Table] I am a 26-year-old woman who was born blind, AMA. (part 2/3)
|How did you type all this?||I can touch type. It's an essential skill.|
|the below is a reply to the above|
|Do you have some type of software that reads certain things out? I wasn’t trying to be rude so my apologies, just very curious/interested! Hats off to you.||Sure, I use a screenreader. It's a piece of software that uses synthesised speech to read back what's on the screen. And I navigate using the keyboard rather than a mouse.|
|Thank you for doing this AMA! Its really fascinating and I'm learning a lot! I noticed in some of your comments you said you enjoy cooking. In my own experience, cooking and baking are extremely visual activities (for example, like knowing when a pancake is ready to be flipped, or properly cleaning and preparing a chicken, or when ground beef has been cooked completely). I would imagine that you use taste, touch, and smell, to guide you through some aspects of cooking. But even then, the information you could possibly get is still limited. What do you specifically look for as indicators to help you cook? I'm also interested in what dishes you find the easiest to make and what dishes you find the most difficult.||All of that information you can get non-visually. You can tell ground bief is cooked by the texture when you touch it with a spoon. Other things by the smell. It's not more limited, it's just an alternative method.|
|I love experimenting with different things, I went through a phase of baking lots of bread. At the moment I'm into building complex salads and working on really healthy recipes. I cooked a meal for 60 people, that was pretty intense!|
|whose voice is reading my question to you?||A very synthesised American voice.|
|Does colour mean anything to you ?||Not really, it's an abstract concept.|
|Do you watch or should I say listen to porn?||Nah, it just doesn't do anything for me.|
|As someone who plays video games and watch shows to kill time when I’m bored, I never thought about what a blind person would do to kill time when they’re bored other than listening to music. What do you do to pass time?||Read, watch films and tv, mindlessly browse the internet. There are also audio games, and it's possible to play some regular games if you're blind, but I'm not really a gamer.|
|How has voice technology (like Siri or Google Assistant) changed the way you interact with things (if you use it at all)? If you have it: how has it made life better or worse? If you don't have it: why not?||It's convenient because I can set a timer when cooking hands free! But also, something like an echo dot is designed to be used without vision, so I'm not actually having to deal with an accessibility barrier. I get exactly the same functionality from it that a sighted person does, and that is an important consideration.|
|how has the covid-19 pandemic affected you, as a blind person specifically/differently?||Not so much now. At first my concern was in relation to grocery delivery services. I didn't want to go to the supermarket because many places were refusing to provide assistance, but also everyone was using delivery services, so slots weren't easily accessible for those of us who really needed them. It's calmed down quite a bit now though.|
|Another issue relates to accessible information. A lot of the stats are shown as images, with no explanation. Which means we're shut out from accessing what could be very crucial info.|
|Do you experience any visuals in your mind? For example, like when you dream?||I don't. I've never been able to see so this is impossible for me.|
|Based on your life so far and what you have learned from others what is your favorite color?||I don't have one. I usually say purple just because people demand an answer and it's easier to give them one.|
|Do you like puppies?||I do.|
|What is it like to move around. Is it hard and do you feel out a room as you walk through it?||It's not hard because I've always been blind so know how to navigate as a blind person. When outside I travel using a white cane, this is also true if I'm inside buildings like shops etc. But if I'm at my house or friends houses I just walk around and learn where things are.|
|What’s something people do/say that is ableist but not commonly acknowledged as such? How can sighted people be better allies to blind people?||"You do so well for a blind person," has to be one of the most rude things people can say. Because what they're saying is that actually, they don't expect blind people to be doing very well at all, so the fact that I'm a moderately functional adult who doesn't get enough sleep, drinks too much coffee and is constantly stressed is a very very good thing. When I'm actually very typical for someone in their mid 20's.|
|Just treat blind people like people, and support us with fighting for accessibility and equal rights. That really is the best way to be an ally.|
|As someone how may go blind I always wondered if there was a fear of “the dark” or does it fade a bit?||I'm not sure honestly. I've always been blind, so it's normal to me. I do know people who lost their vision who have really happy, secure lives.|
|Is sex more intense for you? And do you have sex with other blind people, if not how does it feel when you cant see the other person but he can see you naked?||It honestly depends who I'm having sex with. I don't really worry if they can see me and I can't. I've had good and bad experiences, with both blind nad sighted people.|
|Do you listen to old radio plays? I had a period of time prior to a cataract surgery where my photosensitivity was so intense I mostly lived in total darkness, and these were my favourite forms of free entertainment. I am old enough that I listened to them on radio, although most were rebroadcasts. Also, do you usually wear any kind of sunglasses or such? If so, for your own benefit, or to make people feel more comfortable?||I listened to a lot of plays in the early 2000s when I was a kid because only a fraction of books were published in braille. Audio books were expensive and also only a few books became audio. These days I listen to less of them because with things like Kindle I can read almost anything, but they were a wonderful and necessary part of my childhood that I am very thankful I was able to experience.|
|I have light perception so I wear sunglasses when it's really bright, but not for the comfort of others. I think if my eyes make people uncomfortable it's something they should address within themselves.|
|Is the halo effect a noticeable phenomenon for you as an arguably perfectly objective observer of sighted people? Have you ever been in a situation and just known that someone is physically attractive based on being inexplicably treated more favourably by others than could be reasonably expected? How do you feel about this in general?||I think so. I definitely noticed this in school. My perception is that people gravitate towards someone who is deemed to be physically attractive, but I don't know if that is true.|
|Have you ever fired a firearm or played with a sword?||I haven't. I considered going to a shooting range when I lived in the US but never did.|
|When browsing the web -- do ads really screw with your screen reader? Do you use an adblocker?||They do, and yes I do.|
|If you could tell the world one thing what would it be?||About blindness? Treat me like any other adult.|
|Not about blindness. Use your vote.|
|What's your favorite place to get a burrito?||I live in England where burritos are sadly lacking, but now I really want one.|
|Would you consider trying psychedelics and reporting back your experiences?||I've tried them before. Really weird, honestly. Mostly auditory but also some physical sensations.|
|Do you understand racism? Also what's your favorite song?||By understand, I think it's wrong, but I understand it as a concept. RAcism isn't really about being able to see colour, it's associating a race with a positive or negative set of attributes. Blind people are just as capable of being racist.|
|In terms of songs I don't really have a favourite, I've been listening to I and love and you by the Avett Brothers a lot recently.|
|I was always wondering about this one. There are days when I "overlisten" to music or sounds get pounded and louder until I can't stand it and I need to shut it out. I would go several days without music or wear noise cancelling headphones to get myself disconnected. It sometimes happens with my vision, where it's just too much information and my brain needs a break. So I'm wondering what's it like in your case, if you've ever experienced something like that? Where there's too much sensory information and you need to shut it out but you need it to get around? And another extremely random one. I work and architecture and was trying to figure out how someone would go about designing a house while blind. Besides textures, how would you try and build a house for yourself if you could?||That sounds like sensory processing disorder, which I have experienced aspects of yes.|
|I'm not sure, definitely lots of outside space and a big kitchen, but those are because of my love of being outside and also of cooking, more than blindness!|
|So this might sound weird, but my friends have a year old daughter who is blind. What kind of playing made you happiest as a kid?||Climbing, playing football, running about. Just normal kid stuff.|
|the below has been split into three|
|So two questions: you mentioned that you travelled to a couple of countries. To us, travel is a very visual experience, what is it to you? How do you experience the travel experience itself?||Travelling to me is experiencing all aspects of the culture. It doesn't have to be visual. You can meet people, go to a city, go to a park, go hiking. These are all part of it.|
|We see your inability to see as an impairment or disability out of our ignorance, what do you think seeing people lack? What is our disability?||I think we have to be careful and not view something like a lack of understanding as a disability. I am blind, and blindness is my impairment. But I'm disabled because the world around me isn't accessible.|
|ok 3rd one, out of the countries you visited, which one of them you felt a bit more challenged than the other ones?||In terms of the countries they all had positives and negatives. Colombia was definitely a new experience, but it was also my favourite place to live.|
|What is imagination for you?||That's difficult to answer. If you mean how do I imagine, through my other senses. But as to what it is, I'm not sure. It seems to be an essential part of who we are as humans.|
|What do you see in today's society that you dislike?||I'm not sure this is just a problem with today's society, but ignorance and denial regarding the reality of the world we live in.|
|My sons (age 10) are really good friends with a boy who has been blind since birth. My sons have gone to his house a few times and have had a lot of fun. I would like for him to come here, but it makes me nervous. I worry that he'll get bored or be uncomfortable. As a child, what were some of your favorite experiences with sighted friends and their family?||Being welcomed in to everyday activities. My best experiences were with people who didn't worry, who let me run around and play, who let me climb and mess about with my friends. But who also set boundaries, who told me to be quiet or to stop running, like they would any other child. Basically the best thing you can do is welcome him and treat him like any other kid.|
|Will you have children of your own even if you have a 50% chance of passing on your genetic mutation? My mother in law is blind and she passed retinoblastoma on to all 4 of her children even though each birth was a 50% chance. They all were able to retain vision though 2 had to have an eye enucleated. Later in those same 2 passed away from associated secondary cancers in the 20s and 30s bc they received radiation to stop the tumours (inherited is bilateral). I am pregnant with a baby girl who inherited the genetic mutation and at 36 weeks will deliver so they can monitor and treat the tumours. Being induced early allows the critical growth stage of 36 to 42 weeks gestation to be monitored and treated. Prognosis is good and it's considered 97% treatable but I cant help feeling that I am doing a disservice by continuing the horrible legacy of retinoblastoma. And also I wonder how she would feel knowing if she wants to naturally have children she will have a 50% chance of passing the mutation on to offspring.||I would. I will pass the LCA gene on to any child I have, but my partner would have to be a carrier for us to have a blind child. Even if my child is blind I'd know how to raise them. I could teach them to read, to travel, to do anything they wanted to. I understand it's more complex with something like RB, but I think you have to do whatever feels right for you.|
|Do you play any instruments? If so, which instrument(s)?||I used to play the clarinet but haven't in years. I was never very good at music.|
|If there was an option for surgery that granted you sight, would you consider it?||I wouldn't, it doesn't interest me.|
|What are some UI changes reddit could make to improve accessibility for the blind? What are some things other sites often do which make them difficult for you to read and navigate?||Reddit is honestly a bit of a clusterfuck. It's accessible enough, but sometimes the focus of my screenreader jumps around. There also aren't many headings used, which is the primary way screenreaders navigate online content, so it's a pain to find the section of the page that you want. In terms of other sites a lack of alt text is a huge problem. We convey so much information through images, but if it isn't tagged correctly a blind person misses all of it.|
|What would be the best way to interact with a blind person? Like let's say you went inside a new building and people there knew you were blind would you be offended if they offered to help you find your way? Or tell you how many steps there are or watch out for things that may be in your way? Would that come off as overbearing?||It's annoying when people constantly tell me, because it's actually distracting. If someone offers that's fine, so long as they listen when I say no.|
|Which genders are you attracted to? When did you realize you were attracted to them and what was it about them||Both, though men more than women. I'm not sure, I guess I was a pre-teen and I started to have crushes on people.|
|i watched a video of a blind woman with her seeing eye dog and a hidden camera try to find her way around a mall that she'd never been to before. it was so funny to watch the employees point as if she could see or the dog could understand what was going on. there was, eventually, one woman who walked her to the perfumes/jewelry and entrance so that her dog would understand and so that she knew the amount of steps that it should take. do you have these experiences often where people are just, unintentionally, entirely unhelpful?||All the time. You just get used to it. Also, we don't actually count steps, we may have good spacial awareness and can tell approximately how much distance we've travelled, but step counting is a bit of a myth.|
|[deleted]||I do. If she's in the United States I really recommend that she reaches out to the National Federation of the Blind to find out about their training centers. The Colorado Center for the Blind made a huge difference to my life.|
|Why did the moderators remove this? ||Because I can't hold up a sign with my username...because obviously I can't write. Unless they want it in braille?|
|Maybe this is question is better suited to those who raised you, but do you know if there was anything atypical about your language development? I read a case study about a blind toddler’s unusual syntax once and found it really interesting.||I'm very interested in this too. I had fairly advanced language development, which I know through speaking with my parents and reading school and medical reports. Many congenitally blind children do have atypical language development though.|
|What parenting tips would you suggest to someone who has a young child who is blind or losing sight?||Have high expectations, don't expect less of them because they are blind. Expect them to do chores around the house, to work hard in school and to be polite. They can and should do these things.|
|I occasionally see the same blind man on the sidewalk navigating the DC metro and city streets. I believe he lives around my work. Sometimes he looks completely lost. I have on a few occasions guided him to the correct train or set of stairs. He just says thank you and continues on. Is there anything else I could do to help him or be a good samaritan to other blind folks in the city?||Asking is honestly the best thing. Either the blind person will need assistance or they won't. It's worse to assume that someone does when they might not, so I feel that by asking you're already doing the right thing.|
|So I know I am very late to the AMA party here, but hopefully you still are able to answer this for me. I'm a police officer in the US in an area where we don't have a very large blind/deaf/etc community. What are some good things to know as a cop so that I can better interact with the blind? Especially, of course, victims who need to report crimes. But either witnesses who may have info or even perpetrators. I've read almost this entire thread and with some of your answers to other questions, I can only imagine how blind people may be treated by uninformed or wilfully ignorant officers.||This is such an important question, thank you for asking. Firstly, the biggest thing is to view them as credible. Obviously a blind person is capable of lying, but they aren't automatically less credible just because they can't give you a visual account of what has happened. This is a particularly pervasive problem in cases that involve sexual assault.|
|Also, if you're approaching a blind person in the street because there's a situation, it's good to identify yourself as an officer. I have no way of knowing if the person is a random stranger, who I might brush off, or a police officer unless they tell you. Some blind people will want to be given your badge, to see if you have one, or take your ID number. Try not to be upset or angry, it isn't that we don't believe you, just again that we can't visually verify what you're saying.|
|This is an interesting AMA. Thanks for doing this. My question, If it was possible through new technology to give you vision, let's say through an implant that records wavelengths of light and transmits the information to your brain allowing you to see in perfect 20/20 vision. (I am not familiar with what caused your blindness, so let's assume we are able to bypass it) It's a completely safe surgery, but the implant is permanent. Would you do it?||No, I wouldn't. My brain has adapted to my blindness, and I feel like getting vision would be really disruptive and uncomfortable.|
|As a parent it would cause me a lot of pain to think about my child being blind. Have you ever discussed how your parents felt with them?||Yes, if it does upset them, they don't show it which is so, so important. I would have hated growing up, knowing my parents wished I was someone else.|
|the below is a reply to the above|
|Becoming a parent comes with a range of emotions they don't warn us about and we can't prevent. Your parents would never wish you to be someone else, they world just want take away anything that might cause you pain. It is good to hear you had the support and love you needed.||Absolutely, but you also owe it to your child to keep some of those feelings from them. It's really damaging to know that people around you would change a fundamental part of who you are. Absolutely a parent should seek support when they have these feelings, but it should never be made obvious to the child.|
|Are you religious? Has anyone prayed for you to see? If someone offered would you be open to it? If yes, do you think other blind people would?||I'm not, if people are going to pray, I'd rather they pray I actually have a happy and meaningful life. I have no interest in seeing, some blind people do and that's totally their right.|
|When you masturbate what do you mentally picture?||Depends. If I'm in a relationship at the time I'll often think about that person and things they've said or done.|
|Do you depend on someone else or did you figure out on how to do normal every day activities that people take for granted on your own?||I can do pretty much anything alone. I can cook, clean, do my laundry, travel to and from work etc. The only thing I can't do is drive, so I'll take busses and trains or use Uber sometimes.|
|This could have already been asked, there's so much knowledge we all want to glean from you. Have you ever thought about or done a race, running, biking, swimming, or anything where you have a guide? There's some great races where you can feel the wind on your face and the sound of the trees around you. I guess it doesn't have to be a race. Just how much have you been able to feel the wind and the trees. Thank you for answering all of our questions. My respect on one, putting yourself out there and answering personal questions, and also being a complete boss on your answers.||Sure, thanks for reading. I love more extreme sports, so I've been skydiving and paragliding for example. I'd love to do more things like that. I also really enjoy skiing and tandem cycling.|
|I hope I don't sound rude, but how do you (or blind people in general) know where to go especially in a big city? Is it difficult to find shops and run errands without getting lost? Bonus question: How do service dogs know where you want to go? Like if you wanted to go to a specific restaurant for example, how does a service dog aid in getting you there?||I know by exploring, by asking questions, by learning about the layout of the city. And service dogs receive instruction from the handler. The dog doesn't actually know where it's going, it is the handlers job to give it commands like find left, or find right.|
|What do you enjoy about traveling? For me it’s the scenery. But also foods a big one. I imagine being blind, food would be the main reason. Also has anyone tried using sign language to communicate with you? I honestly worry about that misunderstanding alot||Haha maybe they have but I just didn't see them. I have been asked if I know it though!|
|And the food, meeting people, visiting different places like museums and parks, the whole aspect of immersing yourself in another culture.|
|Is the experience of sight something you wish deeply you could do? Or does the fact that you’ve never experienced it make it seem very foreign and intimidating?||It definitely feels overwhelming to the point where I wouldn't take a cure if it was offered to me.|
|While living in the US, did you find it a relatively accessible country or no? Also, I started watching your YouTube videos, and they’re great! Super informational. Makes me want to sign up as a volunteer for Be My Eyes :)||Thank you, I'm so glad that you are enjoying them. If you have any video topic requests, feel free to leave a comment on one of my videos as I may not see it in this thread as it's so big.|
|It was fairly accessible, as with most places, the attitudes of others were the biggest barrier I faced. People not believing I could do something, rather than be actually not being able to do it.|
|Do you still have Isla the guide dog? If so, was she already trained? What signals do they give to let you know there is steps, a road?||I don't. She retired last year, but she's living a very happy life with some friends of mine. She was trained when I got her, they are trained to stop at roads and steps.|
|This rivets me. My mom went blind on and off through her life. Glaucoma and surgeries. She only sometimes had sight in one because she lost the other to cataracts. Anyway. I was her eyes. I knew how to help her, somehow. Have you ever had a person you let be your eyes?||To a point, sometimes I'll ask people for visual information. But I wouldn't want to create a relationship where it's expected, I think it can result in some uncomfortable power dynamics. I'd rather get that info from a paid service like Aira. This is just my personal preference.|
|How would you rate reddit's accessiblity?||Kind of a pain, honestly.|
|Was learning Braille hard? Is Braille the same in other countries outside of the UK?||It wasn't because I was very young, so it was just like a sighted child learning print.|
|This doesn't have an easy answer. Broadly it's the same. The letters A to Z are the same in all languages that use the Latin alphabet, much like they are in print.|
|However, most languages have what is known as contracted, or grade 2, braille. So one character might represent several letters. In English, we have such a character for er, or the, or wh. Because these are common letter combinations. Grade 2 in French will be different, as will grade 2 in German.|
|English speaking countries have also had some variation when it comes to more advanced presentation rules, and certainly braille mathematics. That is why in the early 2000s Unified English Braille was created. With increases in electronic braille production, it was viewed as important to create a unified code, so that electronic braille could easily be shared between English speaking countries, and so there wouldn't be these small variations.|
|You mentioned you love books. You also mentioned that books that are meant to be realistic, but have poor depictions of blind characters frustrate you. Have you read "All the Light We Cannot See" by Anthony Doerr, and if so, how did you feel about the depiction of the blind girl?||I honestly thought it was a bit ridiculous, but not the worst I've read.|
|Have you ever tried to draw anything from your imagination and if so, what did you draw? Could you visualise the drawing after you drew it based on the shapes?||I'm horrible at drawing. I've tried on paper where the lines then are raised, but I'm just not coordinated enough. I struggle to even draw a circle unless I can draw around something.|
|Are there any questions you get that you are tired of or are just like what the hell? Also what's a question that you never have been asked but want to answer?||Honestly how I use a computer. It's exhausting that most people still don't know this.|
|And not really, I do find the deeper, more thoughtful questions interesting though.|
|Are heights or flying scary at all to you?||I actually don't like heights, so I've done things like skydiving and paragliding because I need to get over myself.|
|Do you make facial expressions? If you do, does that mean a smile when we’re happy is built into us.||I do. I can't tell you how I know them, I just do.|
|Do you think you compare yourself to people less than those of us who are sighted? So much of the standard women hold themselves to seems visual to me. Weight, beauty, aging, fashion... I imagine you not to be bombarded with these standards, advertisements, social media visuals. Do you feel less pressure on these things than you imagine we do?||I still feel a huge amount of pressure, compounded by not being able to compare myself. I have to ask people about my own appearance, which then makes me worry that they aren't completely truthful. Even if they are, it's their perception. I'll never have my own true perception of myself, because it's always filtered through information I'm given by others.|
|Is there an equivalent of line graphs and charts that blind people can use? For example did you understand the concept of exponential growth at the start of the Covid-19 crisis?||You can plot these using tactile graph papers. There are audio graphs, which can give an overview of the information.|
|Do you own a printer, 2d or 3d. Can you read print text if its embossed?||I can sort of read print if it's embossed, but often I forget the shapes of the letters and have to be reminded. I don't currently own a printer, I usually go to a library if I need a document printing.|
|i glanced over a couple of your youtube videos, and i noticed your eyeballs sort of wobble back and forth as if you're reading text with your eyes. is that a part of your genetic disorder? or are you doing that consciously, if so why?||It's known as nystagmus. It can exist as a condition on its own, but often it goes hand in hand with other eye diseases, particularly forms of congenital blindness. Essentially I have no control over the muscles in my eyes so these are involuntary movements.|
|To piggyback off the person asking about software accessibility - do you ever spend time with software on a non-personal device - like a public kiosk? Are you able to use the product if there is no headphone jack?||If it has audio output yes. But I would only use something like an ATM if it had a headphone jack so that I could access the information in a confidential manner.|
|What software do you use, especially for email? My mother is blind, stubborn, and cantankerous, always has been even before blindness. She uses an ancient version of JAWS and refuses to update, and I'd love to know what options are out there.||Jaws is good but she'd be better off using the latest version with win10. I use NVDA because it's free, and VoiceOver on my iPhone.|
|Are you often browsing on reddit? And if so, what subreddits do you visit? (You don't have to list any of them if they are too private)||Dogs, blind and the not the onion are some of my favourites. Also just browsing random things. Reddit is kind of a pain in terms of accessibility, so I honestly go elsewhere for chat, which is a shame because I like the people here.|
|I'm actually curious about how Blind People can use computers and how you can read our questions. I'm guessing a special machine is involved, but how does it work ?||I use a screenreader, a piece of software that uses synthesised speech to read out what's on the screen. I also touch type and navigate using a keyboard instead of the mouse.|
|Have you ever thought deeply that being blind was going to affect all your life and had a breakdown or were really depressed?||There have been times. Mostly when a certain aspect of my life isn't going well, so it's easy to attribute it all to blindness. When really there are usually many factors at play.|
|Have you ever tried the app “be my eyes”? It is an interesting app I found for helping with tasks. I thought it would be great to help out a blind or visually impaired person. I’ve only connected with someone once but I’d love to help more.||I have tried it, it can be really useful in certain situations.|
|How was your experience in Colombia? For how long did you live there?||I loved it, I lived there for a year and it was the best year of my life. I loved everything about Colombian culture and the friends I made there. Also, is your username because of In the Heights, or just a coincidence?|
|Do you ever feel self conscious about what you look like to others?||I do, I'm still under the same pressure other people are to look a certain way. I also feel more pressure because if I don't look good, maybe people will attribute that to my blindness and just assume I don't know how.|
|What are some things that you have done that a person who isn't blind, thinks that a blind person wouldn't/couldn't/shouldn't do?||Honestly most things, because people have such low expectations of blind people. Travel, get a job, move away from home, just have a normal adult life.|
|Looks like the mods want proof. How do you plan to do this blind?||I'm not sure how to submit proof to them? I have all my documentation if they want it!|
|Do you ever listen to audiobooks? If so, what’s your favourite?||I do, maybe the His Dark Materials trilogy. I love so many books though.|
|How do audiobooks and films (with audio description) compare to each other, is there one your prefer?||I prefer books but I think that's personality, more than blindness. My sighted sister also prefers books to tv. We both grew up reading a lot as children.|
|How do you perceive colours when you haven't seen them? When someone says "I have a red car", what do you imagine?||I don't, I just accept it as a fact and file it away.|
|Do you get motion sickness? On a roller coaster, a car, a boat or a plane? Or any other way of travel?||I don't personally.|
|Is there anything that we (i.e. the general public) can do to make things easier for you when out and about, without being patronising? I know you are certainly neither stupid nor incapable, but just wondering what I can do to be more considerate perhaps.||Mostly just asking rather than assuming someone needs help, then listening to the answer that is given. Being grabbed is the worst.|
|Hi, I am the father of a 5-month old who was also just diagnosed with LCA. What are some of the things that you wish your parents would have done differently as they were raising you? Edit: also, I understand that someone with LCA has that uncontrollable urge to press/rub their eyeballs, which my baby is doing every 10 seconds, why is that so and how best to stop it?||Hi, it's so great to meet other LCA families. I really wish they'd encouraged me to use a cane far more than they did. Developing those skills at a young age is really critical and makes for a much easier transition into adult life. If you'd like to reach out feel free to do so, I've included a lot of links in my original post and I'm happy to answer more questions, but as this thread is huge I might miss them here.|
|Hi CatchTheseWords, Hope your day finds you well. Do you find or have others commented your senses are better than the sighted? For instance do you find people can’t hear things when you can? And if so...ever considered being a super hero? Cheers!||I'd love to say it was as easy as just deciding to be a superhero! My other senses aren't any better, I just pay attention to them more.|
|When you were younger, did other children ever bully you for being blind or take advantage of your blindness to bully you more easily?||This happened mostly when I was in primary school.|
|It's great that you are self-reliant. But I cannot resist assuming there have been people in your life who must have given you the maximum amount of information about the world around you that couldn't have perceived unless you saw it yourself or unless somebody explained it to you. Who are these people and how did they help you understand the world?||Honestly mostly it was books. I learnt a lot about body language, or how things look, by reading about them. I'm also very lucky to have lots of people in my life who will answer questions if I ask them. My parents for example have always been very open with information.|
|And my orientation and mobility teachers who taught me to use a cane, and who encouraged me to explore my environment.|
|How's the quality on audio description for visual media? Do you feel you're getting a good representation of what's happening on screen?||Overall I feel the quality is high, and I usually get the information I need. Having said that, I've no way of knowing if details are left out, because I wouldn't know they were there unless someone told me.|
|I am a developer who create apps for use. How is modern technology assisting with additional needs for you? Is there additional improvements you see that could help bring internet within your reach easier?||Really complying with existing accessibility guidelines is the biggest thing, and conducting accessibility testing. Technology can remove so many barriers, but if it isn't designed to function with assistive technology it can create barriers as well.|
|What comes to mind when you think of racism?||White conservative assholes.|
|If I’m going through a door and I see a blind person approaching do I hold the door for them? Do I say “I got the door.”?||Definitely say you have it, otherwise we're likely to put our hand out for it and find it's not there. It's totally fine to hold the door, equally, if you're in a rush don't feel guilty for not holding it.|
|i've seen some blind people click their tongues or their fingers to sort of echo locate. kind of like daredevil. i've seen blind people navigate without a cane. can you do that and if so to what extent?||Navigation without a cane, unless in an environment like someone's house, is really dangerous. It's not a mark of success or achievement to do that, because with echo location you can still miss a hole in the ground and fall in it.|
|But yeah, I can echo locate, though mostly I do it passively. So for example by tapping my cane I can use that echo to gain certain information about my environment.|
|Do you drink alcohol? What is your experience like when/if you have?||I do. Usually just the usual embarrassment most people experience.|
|Who was your best teacher?||There were so so many. Honestly I was lucky to have wonderful teachers who all taught me so many things, not just about their particular subject, but life in general.|
|What software and browser-extensions are you using right now to do this AMA? What is your favorite piece of tech.||Firefox, and NVDA is the screenreader. I just use a regular PC and iPhone.|
|How do you want new people, such as a coworker to ask about your blindness?||Just be really open about it. I'd rather someone was direct than was clearly uncomfortable and didn't want to ask. Equally, remember that the person is more than just their blindness, so don't centre it in every conversation.|
|What does the Cosmos mean to you? Like how do you imagine the Cosmos outside of our own planet? Ask the stars, galaxies and stuff? Do these interest you?||It's very, very interesting to me. My greatest disappointment is knowing that I will probably never travel into space and experience it for myself.|
|Being a sighted person, I sometimes think that sight is too easy to rely on at the expense of other senses. It is so easy to get wrapped up in thoughts and overly rely on sight to function, in a lazy way. Sometimes it's difficult to live in the present moment. When I was 25 a friend would say that I was missing out on life, that I should stop and smell the roses more. I wonder if you struggle with living in the moment?||I do. I'm so concerned with my goals I often forget that there is a here and now. I think this is the down side to being so driven.|
|How are you going to know what I've asked in this question?||The same way I wrote my original post.....|
|the below is a reply to the above|
|And how is that? Also, what do you think upvote buttons look like?||Through a combination of a screenreader, a piece of software that allows blind people to access the computer through synthesised speech output of content on the screen, and touch typing. And I'm not sure, maybe a thumbs up?|
|When is your favorite language and/or accents? Also, would you mind sharing an embarrassing story? This is my favorite AMA ever. Thank you for doing this!||I learnt Spanish, and I really love Latin-American Spanish.|
|Hmm, honestly my life is a constant string of embarrassing moments, some blind related, some not. I still feel shame when I remember calling a primary school teacher of mine Grandma when I was like 5. I...don't know why. It just happened in the moment. Not like I actually thought she was my grandma.|
|Could you briefly let us know what it takes for you to record videos and post them to your YouTube channel?||At the moment I'm using a USB webcam to record my videos. I'd have to write a long post, or make a video to really show the process. There are lots of small things I have to do.|
2020.10.05 16:13 HaulA5Oct What you are looking for is..... (Link in the Desc.)4
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2020.10.05 16:10 HaulA5Oct Mom boy porn pictures
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2020.10.03 06:49 AnonymousAngerHurtin Mom boy porn pictures
Long post. I’m in my head. Here is my life story. I doubt anyone who knows this story will read it, so if anyone texts me out of the blue, this will be why. Trigger warning: child molestation, abuse, parental abandonment, miscarriages, stillbirths, poverty, drugs, just all the bad things. Not for the faint.
It all starts back before I was born. My mom was married to different man and had my two half brothers. One night, the man comes home drunk and tries to kill my brothers. My mom stood in his way and took the beating, and she left after he passed out. A baby on each hip, no food or money, no way to get food or money, out into a cold Indiana night. She went to her POS mom, and she wouldn’t take her in as long as she had my brothers. She had no one else.
She made the decision to give them up for adoption, on the conditions that they were kept together and kept their names, not nicknames. They called her preacher for her, and he didn’t recognize her, that’s how badly bruised she was. People went after him and she was able to talk to him. My brothers were adopted by a rich couple on the other side of the country who sent her pictures every so often. They were given a nice life.
My mom never said so, but I’m fairly certain this is when she did drugs. She never talked about timeline, but if I had to guess this would had had to be it. She told me that the divorce judge punished her by making her keep the man’s last name. I wasn’t there, what do I know?
She met my father again, as they knew each other in middle school. They had my brother, and he got our dad’s last name. And then they had me. I’ve been told different things here, but my parents blamed his mom, saying that she told the nurse they weren’t married, and my dad was in another state getting a new job to provide for his growing family. I was given my mom’s ex husband’s last name, and “unknown -insert last name-“ is my father according to my birth certificate.
After everything my mom had been through, her eldest daughter got to be her living reminder of losing her sons and long time abuse. She never took it out on me. My dad didn’t treat me differently in my younger years. But I always felt different.
I had two younger sisters, and with the last one, they found my mom’s cervical cancer. She was 29. So she was suppose to have 11 children, had six, and only able to raise 4, abused in childhood, teenage years, and early adulthood, and then she was picked out of a hat to go through early menopause. Was she depressed? Duh. I would be too. I mean I am anyway, but I don’t know how she survived.
The house was always a mess. We lived with roaches, lice, bedbugs, spiders, and filth in trailer parks for the longest time. We had food, but not buffets. We had electricity, but budgets were stretched. Life was good.
Then tax man came and took my dad’s refund money out of his account for back taxes, no warning, and sent the five of us to go live with family up north. I was a daddy’s girl, and he told me I was his favorite. So much his favorite, I got to be the one he told that he was on the phone with the IRS with a gun to his temple. Great times. He got the money back, some extra for pain and suffering.
A couple years later, I’m 13. Honor student, apple of his eye. After school everyday he taught me about rocket science and atheism. Science, math, and atheism were his whole personality. He had actually pretended to be religious until my mom married him, and after that all he would do is fight with her over her religion and her depression, as if he couldn’t have known what he was getting himself into, and naive, little me was on his side.
My dad treated my mom like crap. He would yell at her and fight with her. She wasn’t allowed to work, or spend money, or go to church, and everything she did was wrong in his eyes. She was the great mistake of his life, not the other way around.
So I was thirteen and they pushed me to join Facebook so I could send them stuff for their farms. I quickly got friend requests from strange, older men. One stuck out from a middle eastern country, and he became my internet boyfriend. I wanted to be loved, and I was stupid. I told my parents about it. I didn’t keep secrets. They didn’t have a problem with it until they did.
They deleted my Facebook and I got in trouble out of the blue. I kept trying to talk to him, because I wanted the attention. Internet boy/man/predator and I sent dirty messages back and forth. Never pictures or anything worse.
I got in trouble again while my dad was at work. I didn’t know what to do. Fight or flight kicked in and I left with my flip flops in hand. I ran. Fast and far. I was gone maybe two hours. I don’t think I even made it to the high way. Someone must have called the cops on me for walking in the line, because it was softer on my bare feet and my flip flops caused blisters. My parents didn’t call the police, they expected me back home any minute. They didn’t even go look for me.
I told the police I ran away. If I had used a different wording, I probably wouldn’t have had a court date. I tried to put on a brave face when I got into the van, but I bet it looked like a smirk. My siblings were mad at me, and I don’t blame them. We went home, I went to bed.
The next day, my mom asked me to apologize to my dad. I did, and I asked for a hug. You have to remember, yesterday, I was still his favorite. He shrugged his shoulders, and we didn’t talk for a year and five months. Lived in the same house, and we didn’t say a word. I didn’t get Christmas or birthday anything those years, as he didn’t let my mom work.
I took walks around the trailer park, in between getting home and him leaving for work. It took 25 minutes to walk the full loop, and there were more than 25 Spanish men who would look at me during my walk. I was smile, wave, sometimes strut even, if you could call what Tyra Banks taught 13 year old me.
It was 2 weeks before I turned 14 that I met him. A Central American who lied about his age. I still don’t know how old he was/is. He took my virginity. My mom even let me spend the night at his trailer with his coworkers. It wasn’t long before that relationship became abusive. I was a troubled youth, looking for approval from an older man anywhere I could get it. She was a single parent to me in a two parent home. I don’t blame her. I blame myself, and I blame my father, and I blame that man who took advantage of me. I watched Law & Order SVU since before I was old enough to understand it. I knew better.
My first court date, my father brought print outs of the conversation I had with the internet predator. He wasn’t in the court room. A judge didn’t see them. But I call it child porn, as a child wrote herself in sexually explicit situations, and he was in possession of it. He left porn laying throughout the trailer, and I was inclined that way from an early age. That’s where I blame genetics. I had a good judge who gave me therapy, and I went on to make therapists cry, because I was angry, and I ran out of people to blow up at.
I had three more court dates for my explosions towards my mom and brother. On my last one, the final one, my dad drove us there, and he cried in the front seat, not facing me, but looking at me through the rear view mirror. Crocodile tears, and I believed him. He said that he was hurt, because it felt like I ran away from him. He wasn’t even there that night.
I was 13, 14,15, and I needed him. I needed my dad. My mom needed him to be a parent. I ran away for two whole hours, and a fair punishment is to be ostracized from my family for more than a year.
The judge asked me that day what was going to stop me from reoffending, and I told him that it was because I had my dad back. I cried then. If I could have an out of body experience and kick myself even today, I would have a deep purple bruise where my kidney is.
Two weeks or so later, I told my parents what the Central American was doing to me, where the bruises were coming from. My dad moved us out to the country soon after.
Before I started talking to my dad that time, our oldest half brother moved into our cramped trailer. It was a culture shock for him, but he didn’t work. He would eat all the bread and peanut butter. He was a jerk to me, but at that time, everyone but my mom and my youngest sister hated me anyway.
When we moved, I found the note the middle sister wrote to her best friend, about giving our half brother a blow job his first night with us. I immediately brought it to my parents. Nothing was done, and I didn’t do anything after that. I could have told a teacher, called CPS, or pretty much anything. Yet again, I don’t blame my mom. She was clouded. She got to see her child again after nearly two decades. What could she have done. But my father owed nothing to him. He didn’t stop him, or try to protect her. My brother and I would fine them topless together under blankets, and each time when we would say something to our parents, nothing. We could have done more, but my sister was convinced that they were in love. She created a fake Facebook account with her first name and his last name, and would talk about herself as a different person, as his girlfriend. I feel like I deserved what I got, I asked for it, I knew better. She didn’t. I could have done more to protect her.
He moved back to his family, and our other half brother doesn’t allow him near his children. I doubt he has been arrested yet, but predators don’t suddenly stop.
We moved out to the country, but the Central American found me. I saw his car drive by our house multiple times. I saw his car outside my school more than one.
Life went on. I started dating his boss when I was 15. They did landscaping. His boss was 39. My parents knew about it, about him, and my mom just asked for a cheeseburger when we came back from town. He was a nice guy. He and I never had sex, we kissed once, but we mostly held hands. He took me out for fancy dinners and shopping trips. He stopped drinking for me. He gave my dad money out of the kindness of his heart. Again, I was troubled. I was cheating on him with a boy closer to my age. The two of them actually lived next to each other in our old trailer park. Don’t I suck? He was a good guy too. Worked two jobs while making good grades in high school, well behaved, and he didn’t drink or have sex until he met me.
I still do not blame my mom. I was going to do what I wanted anyway, but at least this way she knew who I was with, had his number, and knew where I would be.
When my dad asked me to chose one, I told him that didn’t really care for either of them, and that I was just going to tell them both that I was a lesbian. He laughed his butt off. When he went to tell his coworkers, they attacked him. How could you let your 15 year old daughter date a 39 year old man?!?! He hyperventilated. I think it was the next night when I came home from a date with the boy, that man dropped by and he told him that I was cheating on him. He cried and asked for a goodbye kiss. I said no, and the last I saw him, his eyes were yellow again. After the boy proposed to 15 year old me on my great grandpa’s birthday, right in front of all my family, I broke up with him. I lied and told him that I was still cheating on him. Then I told him that if he was going to cry, to turn around.
I started smoking marijuana, taking a few pills, and drinking with my friends’ mom. My mom would let me spend the night over there. They lived across the street from the Central American. He apologized. He tried to get back together with me, but by that time, I was taller than him, so I didn’t want to.
When I got a job at McDonalds, there the Central American was. He was always in the background it seemed like. When he handed money, or I handed change, he would hold onto my hand, and I would have to cry in the bathroom. I’d didn’t tell my managers, but I told my dad, and he made me quit.
He and I stopped talking and started talking three more times, each time for months. I could no longer respect him as a parent, so whenever we were speaking, we spoke as friends. I got to hear all of his drug and sex stories, and I told him mine. I started smoking cigarettes and I worked at a steakhouse. We got paid opposite weeks, so when he needed cigarettes I would give him money, and when I needed cigarettes he would buy them for me. A true father daughter relationship.
I still made good grades, even with my drugs and alcohol, even with my home life, even while working 5 nights a weeks. I did good at my job too.
Then my gallbladder failed, and I didn’t go to school for like two months my senior year. All I wanted was my dad then. It took a while to kick those pills those. I was still in the top ten of my grade, but I wasn’t in the top two anymore, so what did I care. I already had several colleges lined up, and high school was stupid anyway. Camo wearing rednecks. I had a destiny. I had trials and tribulations at my back. I had greatness before me. They had small town minds, and I was on world level.
Haha haha. I’m not as smart as I think I am. I went out of state for college, when I had a full ride on the other side of the state. I would have still been away from my family and the toxicity that we caused each other, while having my education, room, and board all paid for. I could have been someone more by now.
Money fell through. I didn’t attend after one semester, because at age 18, I wasn’t old enough to apply for student loans. I met my now husband during that first semester. He is an older Spanish man, and although that sounds like danger given my past, he has probably been the best thing for me. He has encouraged me deal with all of this.
He asked me to marry him, over and over again, until we got pregnant. Then I made him stop. I didn’t want him to be stuck with me just because we were pregnant. Then we had a miscarriage. This was nearly four years ago. He held me all night. He was weak when I needed him to be weak, and he was strong when I needed him to be strong. He still is. (When my father found out about the miscarriage, he said good. I haven’t spoken to him since, and he hasn’t reached out either. I have no room for him. If we were to speak again, we would just stop talking again. It gets boring.)
He started asking me to marry him again, like everyday in casual conversation. Whenever I said something that he agreed with or made him laugh, he asked me. I finally said yes, and he brought me to the courthouse that day. That day wound up being the day after our due date. I have now been married for nearly four years.
He helped me get a job at a behavioral health facility, and I found a passion. I want to do this work for the rest of my life.
I started talking to my family again. My middle sister had a baby, and it hurts, but I’ll be okay. My youngest sister is dating an older man, even older than my husband, and I have no room to talk. My dad got laid off from his job, and taking advantage of them for cigarette money. My mom is divorcing my dad, I saw her earlier this year with her new/old boyfriend. They seem perfect together, but he got her to the doctor, and they removed a mass from her intestines. Outlook looks good for her. She seems happier.
I quit my job, and my husband and some of my role models here are helping me to get an education to make a difference in behavioral health. But I am at home, an stuck in my head. I am trying to stay busy and do healthy things, and sometimes, laying out my world as it is gets it out of my head. I am not looking for advice or pity.
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2020.10.02 23:24 muxerr Mom boy porn pictures
I was going to post the last four breakout sessions together but I felt like posting something and didn't feel like watching the two final breakout sessions today, so here we are. Plus, these two were both A Lot and I don't think the next two will be as interesting.
Navigating Relationships and Romance in a God-Honoring Way, with Paul and Morgan
- Paul and Morgan are standing against a blank wall; as usual, Morgan looks high. She’s also wearing an artsy Spongebob shirt that was probably overpriced. They throw their arms in the air and “wooooo” like they’re on a rollercoaster. Paul feels confident because the first session went so well, but this time he’s wearing a shirt that’s “better for [his] physique.” They make Kristen and Bethany look like consummate professionals.
- Morgan gasps because she thought she saw something move in the corner of her eye, but nothing’s there. She (jokingly?) says that it’s the Holy Spirit. Two minutes in they remember that they should put a timer on so they know how long they’ve been talking. Morgan gasps again because she noticed Squishy was playing with toys. Paul looks and sounds like a frustrated elementary school teacher. “If you guys have stuck with us thus far, y’all are champs.” Morgan stops to take away a crinkly toy from Squishy so there’s no background noise.
- Morgan tells us that they’re here today to talk about the differences between God-honoring and worldly relationships. Paul starts off with a verse about how we should be transformed by the renewing of our minds instead of being conformed to the world. He apparently remembered this one on the spot and it’s not in his notes, so he says if we want to know the reference we’ll have to look it up.
Instead of being afraid of looking different from the world, we should embrace it. In fact, Morgan says, if our relationship blends in with those of the world, “you’re probably not doing it right.” Paul admits that this sounds a little judgmental.
On Youtube they talk about how they waited a month to hold hands and didn’t kiss until Paul had asked permission from Morgan's dad and he actually wished they hadn’t kissed until marriage. People comment all the time that they’re weird and paranoid. But so many Christians enter relationships wanting to save sex for marriage but without being intentional about boundaries, and end up violating those boundaries. Paul makes a comment about “worldly Christians” and seems to think this is a mic drop moment, but Morgan wouldn’t know because she “zoned out.”
- Don’t be afraid to set firm, serious boundaries very soon into a relationship, as soon as someone is pursuing us. We should get specific instead of just saying “no sex until marriage.”
Morgan lost her virginity in a relationship with a guy who said he was Christian but wasn’t serious about his walk with the lord. Paul is much more intentional; he told her he only wanted to hold hands with a girl he could see himself marrying, which Morgan thought was crazy. We probably don’t need to wait till marriage to hold hands, though, that’s a little much.
Paul told Morgan that one of their boundaries was that they wouldn’t kiss until engagement and/or he got her dad’s approval. They seem to have different recollections of how it went. (Side note: Imagine how fucking awkward that would be. A couple I went to high school with also didn’t kiss until he asked her dad’s permission, and from what I heard their relationship was very odd.) Paul wishes they had waited till their wedding day, but they’re not saying everyone needs to do that; it’s a bit of a grey area. But “the stricter the better.” Morgan has to stop to take another loud toy from Squishy. Squishy continues running around so Paul picks her up and holds her for a few minutes.
- If the idea of strict boundaries isn’t familiar to us, we might think Paul and Morgan are crazy and that it’s fine to kiss and hold hands. But the Song of Solomon says we shouldn’t awaken love until the time is right. Therefore we should be careful about what we’re doing both physically and emotionally. (The one thing I like about Paul and Morgan is that they’re pretty much the only people at this conference who seem comfortable talking about sex.)
- Don’t go too deep emotionally too soon. We should also set boundaries for how late we stay up talking and the types of conversations we have, avoiding divulging all our deepest thoughts and dreams right away. (I find this confusing, because fundies think dating should be intentional and serious from the beginning. Isn’t it necessary then to talk about all the important aspects of you/your life?) All of our conversations need to be God-honoring and edifying. Late night conversations tend to lead to crossing boundaries. Paul adds that there’s also grey area here and we don’t need to take their opinions as holy writ. But as believers we absolutely cannot engage in any premarital sexual activity. They advertise their book, Intentional Dating.
- Don’t isolate yourself in your relationship, even in your marriage. If we isolate ourselves from our friends and family and are alone with our boyfriend a lot, that can lead to dangerous things. “The enemy loves to isolate us.” We can even push God to the side, as Morgan has done in the past. We need mentorship and accountability; there’s so much wisdom in giving a mentor a list of your boundaries so they can check up on you. Paul: “Tenth Avenue North said no man is an island, but I would extend that to no couple is an island.”
- Morgan’s gonna let Paul handle this one. If our partner is dealing with a porn addiction or struggling with lust, we should know how to handle it. We should be proactive and find out if they have an accountability partner and where they are in their struggle. Porn isn’t necessarily a red flag; if they dealt with it in the past or last slipped up months ago, it’s probably something you can work through.
- Make sure you’re connecting spiritually and on similar levels in that regard. It’s not enough if someone just pays lip service to Christianity. If Christianity is at the core of your life, it should be at the core of his. If not, he probably won’t be able to lead you spiritually. Morgan: “Again, I’m a great example of what not to do!” Her ex brought her down spiritually because he wasn’t serious about religion. If we’re interested in a guy like that, we should give him the chance to grow spiritually and prove himself before we begin a dating relationship.
- Some people might think that Paul and Morgan are being too strict and should show more grace. Morgan: “NEVER! Just kidding.” But this is really important to them and they’re not messing around.
- Look at the guy’s spiritual walk. Morgan: “Ladies, this is a hard one, a hard pill to swallow. Are you going to be able to submit to this man? Because if you’re not, you need to peace out.” God tells us authoritatively to submit to our husbands, but we decide if we actually listen to that or not. We should make it easier on ourselves by finding a man whose spirituality we admire. Morgan says that she’s a strong, independent woman and Paul gives her a noogie. Because she’s independent-minded, she wanted a guy who was ahead of her on his spiritual walk and would be able to lead the family well.
- Be in prayer about this relationship, asking for discernment. We should invite God into our relationship. Morgan’s confident we aren’t going about our relationships willy-nilly, because we’re a special group, the Girl Defined sisterhood. She and Paul both love the sisters.
Serving God Through Missions and Orphan Work, with Ellissa Baird
- Ellissa introduces herself as Kristen and Bethany’s younger sister. If we haven’t heard, her family is actually really tall. (Ellissa is 6 ft. Also, I just realized that her name is spelled with two L’s.) She was homeschooled and instead of going to college she started working for her dad’s company, where she still works as an administrative assistant. Since last year she’s been dating a Ukrainian missionary who she hasn’t been able to see because of the pandemic. “Dating and singleness and all that is a topic for a different time, although I know it’s something we’re all as women and girls, we love talking about so much.” She tells us to go to her instagram if we want to see pictures, since she can’t show them here.
- From a very young age, Ellissa has had a heart for kids in vulnerable situations. She did a long-distance internship with an organization called Bring Me Hope that allowed her to learn about orphans and foster care. “Obviously we know with God things aren’t random.” She's been to China with this org three times, and the last time she was there a boy in her group was adopted.
- We’re going to go back and begin from Ellissa’s childhood. When she was really young her parents told her she was a sinner but Jesus had paid her debt to God and if she believed in him she could go to heaven and be with him. Her relationship with the lord is the foundation for everything else.
- When she was 10 or 11 she started reading missionary stories. She was particularly impacted by the story of a young American woman who broke off her engagement to be a missionary in Egypt, where she started an orphanage. She lists a few books and stories that caused her to become more passionate about kids who don’t know what it’s like to be loved by a mom and a dad. “I think the saddest thing of all is that they don’t know their heavenly father.”
- In her early teens Ellissa was so eager to board a plane to Africa and go love on orphaned kiddos that she fought with her parents, who didn’t think she was ready to handle missionary life on her own. If she didn’t even have enough patience to deal with her younger siblings and serve and sacrifice at home, how would she be able to deal with missionary life in another country? God revealed to her that she needed to first lay down her life for her own family.
- Some of the people watching might feel like Ellissa did, but still be stuck in “God’s waiting room.” We should use this preparatory time to test our hearts and see how we deal with others’ needs and the difficulties of life. Are we willing to serve God right now where he has us, or are we just looking for an adventure? Ellissa admits that when she was young she was partly motivated by a desire for adventure, but she matured while in God’s waiting room.
- Back to her internship, which she seems to have done fairly recently, in her mid-20s. She went to China for her first missionary/orphans experience. She worked at a camp and got to know these orphans as individual people for the first time, rather than thinking of them as a massive number. (There are 153 million orphans in the world, apparently.) She reads a quote from David Platt about how it’s much harder to ignore orphans once you know them as individuals.
- Ellissa learned during this summer in China that missions aren’t “all fun and games.” It was a lot harder than she expected: the beds were really hard and the food, noises, and smells were strange. All of the children had been through trauma that sometimes manifested as attachment disorders. “They were scared to get attached to you because they had been abandoned.” (Yeah, they’re right to be scared, because you’re literally going to abandon them! You are most likely making their attachment issues worse! Ok, I’m done.) This is an aspect of orphan care that we might not have thought about.
- God showed her that there was a lot of selfishness in her heart. She didn’t like when the kids with attachment issues rejected her because she wanted to feel needed and loved. Did she want to love and serve others unconditionally, or only when they loved her back? “Christ loved us when we were still sinners” and rejected him. (Aren’t we always sinners?)
- Orphan care isn’t some western idea that we came up with. It’s God’s idea, as we can see in the Bible. She reads a few passages about defending and helping vulnerable people: prisoners, the fatherless, the oppressed, foreigners, widows, etc. (Is she not seeing the irony here?) The gospel is the ultimate picture of missions and orphan care. Christ adopted us into his forever family, so we’re no longer orphans. This should motivate us to reach out to the needy like he reached out for us. We, the Church, are Jesus’s hands and feet.
- Now Ellissa’s going to read us Timothy Keller’s list of 9 ways we can help orphans and kids in foster care.
2020.10.01 16:44 HaulA1Oct1 Mom boy porn pictures
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2020.10.01 16:22 HaulA1Oct Porn mom boy pictures
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2020.10.01 05:14 SoundOfDreams16 Mom boy porn pictures
So hello, I have posted two times in this group,my last post was 6 months ago. I'm back again and let me tell you it's been one hell of a ride. Since the majority of you that are reading this don't know, I'll give you some back story. I'm a fifteen-year-old girl, who has been living with her grandma and step grandfather since I was 10, thats when my mother passed away, my father is in my life but cannot even support himself , so he cannot support me. Since my depression,PTSD, self-harming issues, suicidal ideation, and anxiety that all stemmed from my mothers passing wasn't enough, after I turned 13 I noticed I was feeling very uncomfortable when my grandfather showed me physical affection. when we were driving I was always sitting in the front seat, he would put his hand on my thigh and rub it, it made me uncomfortable but I thought I was being irrational, I've never really had a father figure since my dad was in prison for most of my adolescence, so I thought I was taking his affection for me in the wrong way. We would always cuddle in his recliner and watch TV together, I would get intrusive thoughts my mind kept telling me he was going to rape me..but I ignored it. After a while I started to get comfortable sharing very personal things about myself to him, even thinks I liked sexually, I would make sexual jokes, and he would to, I knew something was wrong, and I told myself if you made any sexual jokes about me again I would tell someone, and he did so I told my best friend. I ended up telling my sister who is in her early twenties. After she told my grandma, about the things he was doing, she didn't believe me, I ended up staying with my aunt for a little bit but I took everything back, I didn't want to ruin everything, and I felt like it was all my fault so I want back, he called me a bitch for framing him and I thought I was. We eventually got on good terms again and for a while all the sexual things stopped, but around the time I turned 15 everything changed. He would show me porn, he said they were just funny little Clips his friend sent him, I thought he was just showing me because I told him I was bisexual maybe he considered me as his son or something one of the boys I guess. The thigh touching started to happen again, but this time I would take his hand off my thight but minutes later he would put it back on. A little bit before I turn 15 I met a boy online , he made me feel really special, and comfortable with myself, I loved him and still love him to this day, September 29th was our anniversary actually. Anyway, my grandfather started to get really angry, and would hate when I was talking on the phone with him, admittedly I did talk to him a lot, but the way he was acting was weird. Me and my boyfriend would do things that most teenagers do, phone sex and inappropriate pictures, I loved him though and I've never done anything like that anyone else before. I didn't have a door since my room was the upstairs Loft, one night I heard creaking at the top of my stairs, I got up and turn the light on I was completely naked,and he was just standing there staring... listening to me masturbate, i told him to look away but he didn't, so I ran to my closet to get clothes on. We had a conversation but I don't remember much of it, and then a couple weeks later I found out he put camera in my room,aimed directly at my bed, I told him that that was wrong, and that I was going to tell my grandma, he cried I said he was going to commit suicide so I I just pleaded with him to never do anything like that again i forgave him and pretended nothing ever happened we went back to normal snuggling, then a couple weeks later voice recorder next to my bed. But I pretended nothing ever happen again and went back to normal. My boyfriend ended up convincing me to tell my aunt...let's call her aunt R, my aunt set out to pick me up and took me away, there's more to the story, but it's 12 a.m. and I have school, right now I want is support though, I've been so depressed the last couple days since I haven't been able to block everything out like I usually do. I'm still trying to process the fact that it isn't my fault, I went along with everything, and possibly even instigated some of it, and I've destroyed family Bonds in the process. I miss my mom,and I wish she was here to help me.
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