Kinky gyno

2020.09.16 20:15 t1h1r1o1w1a1w1a1y11 Kinky gyno

Want to come out about a doctor I believe is predatory. I do not want to give this man’s name, but I want my story known. He is located on the West Bank.
I’ve had an issue for a very long time. Over a year. Horrific yeast-like symptoms, but worse, and I have been tested upwards of 15 times for yeast, STIs, and the like. All tests come back negative. Let’s get to the point of this story.
I came in complaining about cervical pain amongst my other issues over a year ago when it began. He asked if I would like birth control. I said, no, it caused mood problems. Strike one.
He said “what, it makes you bitchy?” Those words exactly. Contrarily, it causes depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. Close tho!
I had my legs in stirrups. Nude from the waist down. I laughed nervously, obviously uncomfortable. He asks why. Strike two. I say “I don’t like this at all.” He replied “If you did , that would be kinky wouldn’t it.”
He offered me no valid solutions. He did, however, talk to me about getting an IUD. I didn’t want one. He suggested we talk about it anyway. He ushered me to his office. Weird, right? Strike three.
There’s a giant fucking signed Trump posted. I felt very comfortable being in that room after he had his hands in my? Why did Trump call it? I don’t recall.
STRIKE FOUR. After rushing through a piss-poor description of the procedure, he gave me paperwork to sign. This would have the company send the implant.
Ladies, do you know where they put an IUD? On your fucking cervix. I refused and never saw him again.
Mind you, TWO other doctors out of the 6 I have seen suggest this exact product all on the West Bank campus. Something is going on there that isn’t okay.
I have yet to get a diagnosis and it has been over a year, however I finally got a test for a relatively common bacteria. Many doctors don’t even know about this bacteria, despite being common. Most do not offer tests. On the FIFTH doctor I saw, I asked about the bacteria. He said “we don’t have a good test for that.”
On the sixth doctor, the SECOND specialist I have seen, I asked if I could be tested for this bacteria and he IMMEDIATELY got me a test. So that’s as a fuckin lie.
What the FUCK is going on at Oschner? I’m not even going to try to spell it correctly. Fuck them. Thank GOD I have proper insurance because what the fuck would I do if I didn’t? Like, 20 Pelvic exams in less than two years? How much would that cost otherwise?
I’m going to be candid with my symptoms because NOLA was/is HIV capital of the US and chances are this shit is going around and I’m not the only one. I have had quarter-sized balls of discharge come out of me for weeks at a time with no guidance on why to do. Nothing. It is VERY VERY painful and itchy. I’ve had underwear caked with this shit. You couldn’t even see the fabrics They would just give me another (negative) yeast test. Currently, the skin around my vaginal opening is so sore it is bleeding. I hold a 9-5 where I constantly am up and about. I have to pretend nothing is wrong while these doctors do NOTHING. I’m hoping I get a proper diagnosis. We’ll see.
By the way, this doctor also performed an unnecessary operation on my mother in the 90-early 2000s. She did not peruse legal action. I wish she did. She didn’t know he was the doctor I was seeing until it was too late.
Stay vigilant ladies. DO NOT trust these doctors. Use your head, trust your gut, and document EVERYTHING. If any of you suspect you may have issues with this bacteria, DM. Maybe they’ll listen to all of us.
1) I will GLADLY tell the name if anyone can offer me guidance. I have a witness to the event. My s/o was in the room when this happened. I do NOT want to get sued for defamation. If I file a complaint AND tell you all who this is, they will know who said what. This is a complicated situation, but I gave everyone the company name, and the location. BC HWY. That’s all I am comfortable saying for the time being.
2) I’m seeing the validity of this questioned. Let’s be candid here. I’m in my mid twenties; a young professional. I got my degree in English and I am a very emotional and dramatic person. It’s the Cajun. What can I say? What you saw is the amalgamation of my shorty circumstances, personality, and +year-long battleZ I’m telling you all this because there IS a predator out there. I don’t need to plead my validity here. But all of these events did happen. Whether or not you choose to believe them is up to you.
3) This is not to discredit gynecology. GO. If you have an infection GO. Don’t steam your vagina or put ceramic eggs in there. See a doctor. The problem is that we should trust doctors. But there are predators in the field. In every field. When I say mistrust gynos, I mean watch out for yourself. Trust medicine. Trust science. But know that not every gyno had your best interest in mind.
submitted by t1h1r1o1w1a1w1a1y11 to NewOrleans [link] [comments]

2020.07.21 07:41 21Julhouston Ti-t Pun-ishment Por-n Video

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submitted by 21Julhouston to Home_Made_Fun [link] [comments]

2018.10.08 21:22 praywithlegs Kinky gyno

From the beginning of our 20+ yr marriage, when we were young, Nex would always explain that he saw sex as a simple transaction. No love had to be involved. If both people wanted it, that’s great, and no one needs to have illusions that it should be related to love or trust (red flag!! but I just tried to “convince” him to have a more humane view, for yeeeaaars)
As the years wore on, he denigrated me about sex, because there was never enough, never kinky enough, not good enough. Then he started trying to blackmail me into going to a sex club. I was intimidated into saying yes, then after discussing it in therapy, told him I changed my mind, which he could never accept. All the while calling me frigid, cold fish, inept, robotic, not a real woman...
His transactional view of sex explains why he had a thing for sleeping with prostitutes, which he’d tell me was honorable because it wasn’t an affair, with all the emotional attachment. It was nothing. You know. “A man has to eat” he would tell me. If I didn’t meet his needs, he’d look elsewhere.
Finally I got very sick for several years, and could barely have sex. I gave him permission to do what he wanted because he was doing it anyway. Openly bragged about prostitutes, told a marriage therapist he felt more humanity and intimacy with them than with me. I’d get every STD test available at my Gyno appointments, because I might as well be a prostitute when sleeping with someone who frequents them.
I just hope my sexuality isn’t permanently damaged by having this lowlife shape it.
Just wondering if anyone can relate.
submitted by praywithlegs to NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]

2017.03.08 15:23 DontGearTheReaper Kinky gyno

Original post, waaaay back in september-ish:
Cycle Summary: Gained 13-14lb of lean mass over 24ish weeks. Just as lean if not leaner than when I began the cycle. Went 177-178lb to 191lb at a little bit over 5'9 tall.
The Drugs: 250mg test E/C e3d, 150 tren E e3d, 25mg mk-677 ED (first 2 months of cycle) - I had 4 vials of tren to start... so roughly 22-23 weeks worth of tren at that dose. I frontloaded, so total cycle length was ~22w + 2 weeks where I dropped the doses on everything due to a vacation. Dropped the MK-677 60-70 days in due to absolutely fucking crippling lethargy... so at least I know it was legit.
The Supplements: Fish oil, COQ10, NAC, niacin, vitamin d3, baby aspirin, garlic, singulair, generic multivitamin, tums
The Ancillaries: 12.5mg pharma/UGL aromasin ED (25mg every 3rd or 4th day). 0.5mg-1mg caber EW. Nolva as needed. - Pharma and UGL asin seemed to be pretty exchangeable, I'll likely go UGL for future runs but keep pharma asin on hand as a backup in case shit goes south. Developed pretty decent gyno and as a result ran nolva + upped aromasin for 3-4 weeks and now I'm pretty sure I'm back to square 1 with my pre-existing pubertal gyno.
The Lifts: bench 275x5 --> 285x7 (bench press is ass). Has since dropped slightly since dropping to cruise. Back squat before injury: 425x8 high bar @ 198bw Front squat post injury: 365x5 @ 191bw, typical working sets are 335x6-8 right now. Dumbbell OHP: 90s x10ish --> 100sx13 @ 200, 100sx11 @ 191. Bent over row: 295x10 --> 315x10. Deadlift: stayed constant-ish before my back injury, somewhere in the 585x3-4 range. - Fucked up my back about a month ago doing 10x3 speed pulls at 5 plates on deads. Severely pulled my spinal erector and my psoas on the third rep of my 8th set. Took a week off of heavy training to let it recover, and another week off of legs. Slowly started working my weights back up, though I'm still not where I was. Switched back squats to front squats because it puts less stress on my lower back and more on my core.
The Routine: Swoletide GVT modified for strength up until my vacation in late decembeearly january, then powerbuilding bro-split following swoletide's day template afterwards.
The Diet: 1g protein per lb of bodyweight, 0.5g fat per lb of bodyweight, remainder carbs. Somewhere in the range of 3700-4000 calories per day when I was my heaviest morning weight (203) and bulking. Currently sitting at 3000+-200 calories per day to maintain/recomp, weight has fluctuated between 190.5 and 192lb for the past 3ish weeks.
Other Notes: - I'm a retard and didn't get bloodwork the whole cycle. Physically, felt fine. Blood pressure, heartrate both fairly low. I'm taking a ~20-30w cruise now because I'm sure I fucked my shit up, fam. - Tren mental sides were... not fun. I'm in a LDR and the paranoia made me miserable. Luckily I have an awesome GF who I explained everything to and she was super understanding. Near the end of the cycle, the anxiety/paranoia from tren was really threatening to exacerbate my pre-existing depression. Don't think I'll ever run tren for that long again. I really want to run high dose tren for a shorter period of time though. - Apart from paranoia/anxiety I didn't get much else in terms of mental sides which I can't complain about. Libido was up, kinkiness was up, but not through the roof. - BEARD GAINS. 10/10 - definitely should have eaten more throughout the whole thing - took a 2 week break from training due to family trip + trip with the gf during late decembeearly january, where I dropped the doses and went way lax with the diet. It was fun but part of me wishes I just stayed training and eating.
And finally, what you've all been waiting for... The Pics: - top of the album is the most recent, all the way back to october-ish at the bottom - edit: quality is ass when im not on my phone. not sure how to fix that. Sorry fam.
submitted by DontGearTheReaper to steroids [link] [comments]

2016.10.25 18:29 throwaway11111111202 Gyno kinky

So a few years ago, I[23F] was raped. I don't want to get into the details nor do I think they are relevant, but it was something that happened and I have dealt with it. I participated in counseling, established a strong relationship with my family doc and gyno, and have dated/slept with a couple of guys since. I'm doing really well.
Now I find myself in a purely sexual relationship with a really great guy. Admittedly, we had attempted a romantic relationship about a year ago, and we just weren't compatible. Our sexual chemistry, however, is unreal. Best I've ever had.
We're both a bit kinky. We've discussed wanting to explore some of our kinks a bit more, and one that I'd like to try is rape. This probably sets off a lot of concern, mostly that this must be the result of some unresolved issues developed post-rape. I'd like to clarify that I consider actually being raped and consensually agreeing to a rape scenario are two completely different things. Am I crazy to think that? Am I having underlying issues that are buried too deep for me to recognize?
He doesn't know that I've been raped, and I don't really want to tell him. I'm sure he wouldn't be comfortable living out this fantasy if he knew. I guess I just need some guidance on if what I'm saying is troublesome or inappropriate, or if I'm setting myself up for problems if I approach this in any way. Appreciate any help here.
submitted by throwaway11111111202 to sex [link] [comments]

2014.10.31 05:14 tabledresser Kinky gyno

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-10-30
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Do you think your child is going to be proud of its whore mother? Just because you are retarded/lazy doesn't mean you need to suck every cock you see for money... wait nvm i forgot you are a lazy whore who doesn't have the job skill or mental capacity to do anything else. LOL I don't have the job skill or mental capacity to do anything else? What part of "I'm a registered pharmacy technician" didn't you understand? I have certifications in pharmacy, makeup, and hazardous waste clean up. The fact that I CHOSE to do porn for a living says nothing of my personal character. I think that the way you responded to this post says a lot about your personal character, however. I think that you're probably a very close minded person, to no fault of your own. You were probably raised by parents that didn't care about you, probably drank too much, or even abused you. And because of that, you've got a deep routed hatred for the world. For future reference, I recommend that you stop being a piece of shit on the internet to people you don't know because you're no better than us. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
You mentioned you have a kid. How old is he/she now? It's cool you're proud of your job, but how would you make your kid proud of it too when he grows old? You know, "My mom's a pornstar" thing... and would you recommend that kind of job for him/her, too? I prefer not to say how old she is. Whether or not she's proud of me when she gets older depends entirely on her. I would never force my views onto my daughter. The only thing I would tell her is this is what I did to take care of her and to provide for her. She can take it or leave it as it is. The only thing I worry about is her finding out from a friend before I get the chance to tell her myself.
As far as recommending it as a job in the future for her - again, that depends entirely on her. If she asks me what it's like - I'll tell her the honest truth about the industry. That would be her decision and her's alone.
Do you get into serious relationships? How do people react when they find out what you do? Are there certain people that you would rather hide it from if you could? That's a fucking great question. Although I am not in a serious relationship at this time, I have had them since starting porn. Normally, I only date open minded people that understand that this is who I am and I refuse to change for anyone. The most typical reaction from people when I tell them I do porn is "so can we fuck?" Most people assume that since I sleep with people on camera that I'm the same off and that's not always the case.
Bailey, I love your scenes with Lance Hart. Promise us there's plenty more very hot ball busting and hand job scenes to come! Do you have a favourite fetish scene you most enjoy performing in? OMG I absolutely adore Lance. I promise we will continue to produce ultra erotic scenes together for all eternity. Pegging is my favorite so Lance and I have a great friendship! ;)
I absolutely adore Lance. I promise him and I will continue to produce ultra erotic scenes together for all eternity. Pegging is one of my all time favorites, so Lance and I share a special bond. <3.
Ive always wanted to know so im going to ask, does having sex "for a living" effect your having sex for pleasure? Or is it like a male gyno dr & its just become the everyday norm & its hard to get excited about it? Sometimes it can affect sex for pleasure. Sometimes I do gangbang scenes that leave me sore for days, putting any personal relationships on hold until I heal. As far as having a hard time getting into it off camera, absolutely not. Sex is just sex until there's a connection. When I share a connection with someone, the rest is just natural.
Thank you for the reply, but i do have one more question if you have time. Have you ever had to do something that you didnt feel comfortable doing or either that you had never done before that you absolutely refuse to do again? No. The producers I work with know my limits and never try to take advantage of me. We want everyone to enjoy what they're doing and not feel forced in anyway - since this is the sex industry.
So do you a special favorite scene with Lance Hart? What chance you 2 performing something very hot together on The first time I pegged Lance is definitely my favorite. It was the first time I had ever done that and he was so receptive to what I was doing. His faces and moans turned me on so hard. If Lance and I could shoot together with - that would literally make my entire life.
Such great feedback - thank you! The (nice) problem is there is more than 1 scene of you Pegging Lance so I will try to guess which is the correct one. Were you performing by yourself or accompanied by someone equally cool? The first one I did was the clip with Arianna. It was sooo fucking sexual!
very active ember. You are hot, that's true. Here's my question, can you explain foot fetishes to me? Because I don't understand them. I'm not 100% sure that I even understand it, tbh. Basically, I look at it like this - you like getting your dick sucked, right? It's essentially the same thing to them. They get off on it the way you'd get off on your favorite thing. Maybe you like boobs, or ass. They like feet the same way.
Hmm, I'd probably like some pretty weird stuff in those people's eyes too. When you look at it from that perspective it's maybe rather innocent, it's just feet. I just don't find anything arousing about them, but that just might be my problem. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. <3.
Forgive me if this is a personal question, I'm curious from an outsiders perspective... Is your mother and father still alive? If so, are they together? Do they know of your business and if so what do they think? Are you close to them? Respectfully, thanks for taking the time to answer! My mother and father got divorced when I was a child. However, I am still close with both of them and yes, they do know what I do for work. They are both very supportive of my career. Growing up, they taught me "you find something you're good at and you stick with it" and so I did.
I used to be in porn, what's the most difficult transition for you into the industry? Would love to do a scene with you sometime. I actually didn't have a difficult time getting started in the industry. With the right friends - you can achieve anything! Doing a scene with me would depend on someone booking us together or you producing your own content. :)
I would love to produce a film together, I still have some contacts in the business. We could make this happen. Find me on twitter and we can discuss it :D.
I know this is late, but I've always wondered - what's the exit strategy with a career in porn? Do you eventually move into the production/distribution side of things, or does there come a point where you just say fuck it and become like an accountant or something? Haha, being an accountant doesn't sound like too much fun. I believe I'll be in the adult industry in some capacity for the foreseeable future. I would like to move behind the camera and start producing my own content and I'd also like to get my agency license.
How comfortable are you with your lifestyle? Extremely. I love what I do and the people I do it with (hehe). I wouldn't change it for the world.
The real questions is - are YOU comfortable with my lifestyle. ;)
Yeah I'm cool with it, what ever makes you happy, you do what you gotta do :) what's your favorite part about what you do? I appreciate that. I've got amazing fans and love how open minded you guys are.
I love all of what I do, but I really love the dom side of things (cbt, joi, cei, and overall just dominating the fuck out of guys)
What kind of music are you into? I am currently trapped in 2006, music-wise. I love TBS, Yellowcard, The Used, Brand New, etc. Basically, all the sad, emo shit from when I was a teen.
What is your favorite Brand New song? I can't pick just one. They're all absolutely perfect.
Before you got into the business, did you ever wonder about getting into it? Were you wild before? If I got offered to do porn when I was 18, I would have told them to fuck off, but in retrospect - I do wish I had gotten in earlier.
Do you ever see yourself settling down? Depends on your definition of "settling down." Marriage? Out of the question. Long-term relationship? Absolutely. I think I'll always be in this industry in some capacity.
Any tips on getting started in camming? :) There's a website for everyone. You can email me at [email protected] and I can send some templates I've made up for new models that want to get started. :D.
Does all that porn sex ruin you for a monogamous relationship with a human young man? or are you even straight? I'm pansexual. I'm not just attracted to gender. It's the connection I need. So, to answer your question, no - my job does not affect my personal relationships. :D.
Did you ever meet a fan/viewer randomly outside of work? how was he like? I have actually met several of my fans and I love them all. They're all very respectable people and they support everything I do.
Hey, I recognize you! Have you had to play with the rubber duckies for Ginary's Kinky Adventures yet? No, I haven't had the chance to play with them yet, but I have shot TONS of content with her. I'll be shooting with her next month, maybe I'll mention it to her. :D.
I. Feel. Like. It's. A. Rite. Of. Passage. For. Her. Hairwashing. Clips. (All NSFW, of course). I'm pretty sure she only does it because I buy everything. We sure do love our loyal fans! Without you guys, where would we be?! I remember when she first asked me to do hairwashing clips with her and I had this huge stigma about having my hair wet on camera, so I haven't done one with her yet, but I promise - the day will come!
Last updated: 2014-11-03 23:25 UTC
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2014.03.02 00:16 99probsandagoochis1 Kinky gyno

Gooch. Grundle. Choda. The Last Strip of Land at the Edge of the Earth.
That tiny bit of skin girls have between their Ahole and the Phole. The perinium? Gooch? That spot you lick when you're feeling kinky enough to lick a gooch but you're not quite at the level of rimming?
It's bugged her since day one and we're 3 years into a relationship. Her gyno doesn't know what it is. She suspected her tight undies were the prob but we've bought different kinds.
It really limits the sex we can have. She likens the pain to like a cut being there, so anytime I go to move her around or spread her legs it just sets it on fire.
Again, been to multiple gynos, no clue, no stds, etc. I'm her first sex partner. I've been with 6 girls and this is the first I've heard of gooch issues.
Any other ladies have irritaged gooches? Goochi? Grundies? What do you do about that.
I can't even hit it from behind without very specific positioning because even the pressure of my penis on the inside angled up causes it to sting. I pretty much have to aim downwards which is an issue because I'm curved upwards a-naturale.
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2014.02.28 15:38 tossaccount90 Help me Help HER

I have a smoking hot wife, I'm talking SMOKING. Been married 15 years. Our sex life I would say is somewhat "normal". We have sex on average 1 time a week, which isn't NEARLY enough for me, but both of our professional lives are EXTREMELY busy! We also have two teenage girls. Unfortunately our sex life is compounded by issues on both sides. I can't get over the feeling of every flipping time we have intercourse it feels like I'm 18 again with her and I quite possible enjoy sex too much! I have never been able to just hammer away. Of course she says she doesn't really like that and gets more from grinding, which is fine. So up front...I am NOT in control of myself and I sometimes pop off ahead of her where if I could have lasted 15 seconds or so longer she might have orgasmed herself. NOW her problem is this, she doesn't really know her body I don't think. She has stated to me that she has NEVER masturbated...EVER. She said she did try it once a few years ago and it made her feel disgusted. I am kind of kinky...I am willing to do just about ANYTHING with her or for her to get her off as long as it involves the two of us. I have tried oral on her, she doesn't like it. I think she feels she is too moist down there most times and it grosses her out. I LOVE IT...oral on me she does a no complaints from me really. I've tried dildos, again she doesn't like them. Sais they are too hard, don't feel real. SOMETIMES I will use it and she likes it, but it's very rare and she always wants to finish with me, which is fine :). I have purchased a Magic Wand for her and that seems to work, but again sometimes it just annoys her. I have ENCOURAGED her to use all of those things on her own and have tried to explain to her that if she doesn't know her body, how the heck am I supposed to figure it out....I have mentioned her going to see her doctor...she hates doctors and to be honest hasn't seen a Gyno in over 5 years...Communication is open for us for the most part, I have spoken to her about this and told her I'm willing to do whatever she needs so whatever you guys suggest as far as talking, I feel open to talk to her about for the most part. From her words, she just doesn't need sex like I do. It just doesn't seem THAT important to her...I'm not saying she dislikes it though because when she gets in the mood...its pretty hot. All of that goes into my problem though because if she goes to will make me loose my control, which I have little of. I've tried to explain my frustrations with me it's like having a Lamborghini in the driveway, without being able to drive it! Just seems she's do closed to explore a little...heck I'd strap on a John Holmes realistic dildo if that's what she wanted!
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2014.01.14 05:28 tabledresser Kinky gyno

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Date: 2014-01-13
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Questions Answers
Do you have a fetish you've not yet tried that you would like to? Or do you have a fetish that intimidates you to the point where you may not? I still need to try pegging, an actual gang bang (so far I've only had the pleasure of two men at once, and a little swinging), gags, rope/Japanese bondage, penis in urethra sex, and e-stim.
I kind of like the idea of S&M, but I'm a complete pussy when it comes to pain, so I dunno... There's also breath play, and sensory deprivation play, which sound interesting, but also a little scary.
Do you have any hard limits? You seem pretty open, how far would you go? No necrophilia. No footing. No scat, and I don't like the thought of rimming (though Mr. S tried it on me once). Nothing that seems like it might get someone hurt.
I think that honestly depends on who I'm with, how I'm feeling, and overall safety. I'll say no to something I might enjoy if I don't feel it's a good time (anal fingering, for example).
I'm willing to give almost anything a go once, though sometimes I do need to warm up to the idea first.
Edit: Added footing to list.
How was penis in urethra? Was it painful? Did it require lots of stretching or were you able to get there pretty quickly? Oh, that hasn't happened yet. I'm still trying to get past the pen-sized rods. I can't even get a finger in there yet.
If it hurts I wont push myself, but will keep stretching and try again. My urethra is a lot more sensitive than my vagina, and will sometimes burn for a day or two when I pee if I stretch myself too quickly. Not fun.
Fisting took about a year of dedication to accomplish, so I imagine urethral sex will be a pretty long way down the road too.
(Edit for bad sentence making.)
Interesting that you say that you're not a fan of pain. Surely you experience some pain when you push the physical limits of your stretchability? Of course, but there's a big difference between cutting or needle play, and the slight ache or pushing my limits. When I'm stretching, I'll often push myself right to the edge of what I can stand, kind of like when you exercise till your muscles ache. It's the satisfying kind of ache.
Specifically my piercer and doctors have made comments about my oversensitivity. Mr. S has had to help hold me down for quite a few piercings while I scream and sometimes even cry (clarification: tears have only ever happened while moving piercings around while they're still healing to keep them cleaned. That part can hurt!)
My question is how far do you plan to stretch yourself? I specifically don't give myself goals if I can help it, since it kind of creates a downside to my hobby for the duration that I don't meet those goals (if that makes sense). Its far more fun if I can forget about the dildo I can' fit yet, and just have fun with my progression.
have you ever considered public stretching? That said, I do fantasize about being so filled anally and vaginally that I look pregnant... Y'know, maybe 9 months with twins. But that's a really long way off, if possible at all. I certainly wouldn't mind if I was so loose that I could just bend over and anyone could see up inside me, even see my uterus maybe (that probably sounds weird, I know :p)
I don't really feel like there's much of an 'end goal' exactly, but when my hip bones stop me from stretching any wider, you better bet I'm going to be stretching deeper. I'd love for someone to be able to go elbow deep in me like Hot Kinky Jo :3.
I guess that depends on how public you're talking. I've been fisted and stretched in front of a roomful of people on a few occasions, but I don't intend to do it anywhere I might get arrested :p.
Link to
Maybe or may not be of interest :)
HAve you heard of enema inflations? that can make you look really filled. I would LOVE to see you look like that and im sure many others will. Yea i have seen your public things. but stretched in front of people sounds awesome! Elbow deep in your pussy would be spectacular. I thin Samantha Luvcox was the one who got me into enema inflations, though I haven't actually managed to do it yet. I tried using just a bulb syringe, but I need the proper equipment it seems.
Have you considered a vaccuum pump? I have considered a pump, but I don't think it would work with how tiny and practically non-existant my clit is. I don't see how or what the pump would attach onto. We've been looking into topical DHT, which is supposed to be safer than steroids.
did you breastfeed afterward? If so, did you enjoy it? I tried breast feeding the moment the baby was given back to me, but not successfully. In fact I felt pretty unsuccessful pretty much the whole time I tried to keep it up.
I loved how big and swollen my breasts got, and particularly how milk would squirt across the room at the slightest touch, before feeding time. The way the milk would dribble down the curve of my breasts and tickled before dripping down.
My breasts started producing a small amount of milk since then, and I've been trying to keep up and even encourage more flow, but it's not nearly as good as it was back then.
Thanks for doing this. Given your fetish, how do you feel about small penises? And how much does size matter? No problem!
Size really doesn't matter to me (though I'm still not very deep so preferably not too long). Mr. S is average, so especially after a good stretch I can barely feel him.
When we have sex (after fisting first) I usually either get him to put his hand, a fleshlight, or a collection of toys into me at the same time.
We very rarely have 'normal' sex with just his penis for the entire sex session unless we're aiming for an ultra quickie. 'Regular' sex does work fine for the both of us, but I guess it's like vanilla vs. tripple chocolate fudge?
So I guess if anything, smaller is just handy for getting more of my toys in along side it :p.
What is it about a stretched/wrecked looking vagina that you find so sexy? Thanks for the AMA!! I love how easily all my favorite toys slide into me. I've felt a deep sense of never being 'full enough' - whether masturbating or having sex -even when I'm being stretched to my absolute limits. Even when I was quite young I imagines being fucked my cocks as thick as a man's arm, and long enough to at least nudge my lungs...
For me it's more the idea and sensations that go along with having a big loose vagina, not to mention how much fun I have stuffing myself with toys till I can't take any more. The look is more of a "mission accomplished" sign. If I see another woman's stretched out vagina it makes me envious and wonder what we could fit in her if we got together to play- very inviting.
How deep are you able to stretch? I've seen that you have had some large toys in you, but was wondering if you ever measured or if you are going for a goal of some sort. I think we measured a while ago and made some interesting discoveries. When I'm not really aroused yet, I'm about 6in deep, but after I got my juices flowing it was a bit over 8in (might have been more, but I'm afraid to say since I can't find where I might have written it down).
There's no specific goal, but when I first started imagining a penis while masturbating, I'd imagine the cock nudging my lungs with each thrust... Sometimes I'd imagine something even bigger, but unfortunately that's not a real option no matter how much I practice.
You mentioned clamping your muscles down or doing kegel's with large objects inserted as a way to go further. Is that helping with the progress of how big you can go when filling your hole? I see someone's been reading my tumblr! Awesome!
So far I don't feel like I can say with 100% certainty, but maybe.
I haven't been doing it as often as I was originally planning, because my muscles have been feeling kind of tender lately. I'll do it one day, not at all the next, then practice again the third day. Its kind of crazy how intense it feels when I'm trying to clench around a giant inflatable or Mr. S's wrist.
We recently got two fists into me more easily than when we tried before I tried this kegel experiment, but that might also just be because we've been actively trying to stretch me more anyway.
This isn't a very scientific experiment, so I'm sorry I can't give you a definite answer.
How does it feel to walk around with the inflatable? Its a very unique feeling. Before it's inflated it just feels like a rather small dildo that pokes at my cervix, so for comfort I always make sure it's inflated till its fairly round before I start walking around. Once it's filled up enough I can feel pressure pushing in all directions, particularly down on my pelvic area and pushing my organs up. If I need to pee at all the sensation is multiplied several times. As I continue pumping it up the sensations will get so strong and overwhelming that I'm forced to orgasm, but at that size I can't stand the stretch once my orgasm finishes and I have to deflate it pretty quickly or it becomes uncomfortable.
Have you ever tried inserting water balloons or other unusual / inflatable objects ? No matter how inflated the toy is, I can always feel it holding my entrance open, and I can feel the end sticking out and rubbing between my thighs with every step. I can also feel the tube running rubbing against at least one leg. It makes me feel like a complete whore, especially in a nice short skirt. There's also a slight medical/alien science experiment feel that I get when I can feel the hose of the inflatable resting against my thigh. I kind of like to pretend that its part of some kind of sexual torture/control device that I'm secretly hooked up to.
Would you hate being a man, seeing as your stretching abilities would be severely limited? We have tried playing with balloons, using various methods, and we definitely had some fun with that, but if I remember correctly I had trouble getting them a good size and inside me safely. Needless to say I feel a little extra jumpy when balloons are near my genitals :p.
Haha, I actually wished I was a guy for a really long time. In fact, when I very first started masturbating with the idea of genitals in mind, I used to pretend I had a cock and was fucking a chick. After a while I realized I was probably setting myself up for a bit of disappointment if I didn't try to think of sex from a female perspective (the idea of non-necessary surgery is just too scary for me), and that was when I started imagining being filled with giant cocks :D.
I imagine if I was a guy I'd be heavily into sounding and would probably already be into anal fisting. I don't think I would have ever discovered the pleasure I can get from my nipples or belly button, nor about the difference between g-spot, clit, and vaginal orgasms. But at least I'd be able to stick my dick in someone and feel that warm wet feeling slide down my cock... Sorry, that just seems to cool to me. I really wish I knew what it felt like to spill a load <3.
Don't you think the term 'porn star' is used too loosely? I see what you did there!
I have been offered professional gigs, but I haven't taken anyone up on it yet, mostly related to school n' keeping my IRL identity hidden and such. Also, since a big goal of mine is the general spreading of kink openness, I figure people are waaay more likely to see it if I keep releasing for free, and it's not like I need the money, so...
I mean, I'm the 'star' of my own videos, right? :p.
I've got over an hour of video alone posted, and a decent chunk over 10,000 (I stopped counting after that) combined XHamsteTubmlect. 'followers' from posting original content alone. That's gotta count for something, right?
african tribes practicing vulva stretching to prepare for birth, and/or labia stretching with weights to attract guys (two separate ethnographic examples). On this note, I'd like to say that I wish more women knew that stretching out in preparation for child birth was an option. I didn't do any preparation and regretted it very much during and after. Unfortunately when I tell other women about it, I've almost universally gotten negative reactions for even suggesting it.
As for the labia stretching. My inner labia were uneven basically from the time I hit puberty. I waited for years for the short one to catch up, and was always glad that Mr. S never seemed to notice. It wasn't till someone told me about ladies from other cultures doing this practice that I even thought of doing such a thing. Now that my inner labia are even, I've been working to stretch out my labia major so that they wrap around their minor counterparts.
1 & 2) I specifically don't like the idea of having a prolapse, but I realize that with my hobby it might just have to be part of the package (fortunately my gyno tells me there's a ring and other options to help deal with such an occurrence). It might be a bit of paranoia, but sometimes I feel like I might be beginning to prolapse, and it does freak me out just a little, though not nearly as badly now that I've talked to a professional about it.
I didn't know you could push out and retract the cervix, though I guess that would make sense, and I know which muscles would be involved in both actions... I guess at least now if I do get a prolapse, know how I should have fun with it :)
Even since before I ever tried stretching, I've been trying to keep up with me kegels, though in all honesty I probably don't really do them enough. A lot of people, male and female, don't realize that if they neglect to do their kegels, they will end up suffering from incontinence later on in life. A few months ago I was speaking with a young guy (20s, possibly early 30s) who had lost basically all control of his bowls because he'd been doing fisting and large insertions without any kegels, and was finding it just about impossible to learn now that his muscles have been so neglected. The same muscles control urine, and even if you never put anything larger than a penis inside yourself, you are still at risk if you don't take care of your body now.
In all honesty I cannot clamp down very well with my vaginal muscles, they are pretty weak, but I'll always try to do my kegels, and if I get seriously worried about prolapse I'll probably even try using my ben wa balls more often (well other than for sex that is). I will never encourage anyone to stop doing their kegels. I think its a pretty terrible idea, but as long as the women choosing to stop exercising know the risks, all I can do is wish them luck on their quests. I certainly can't criticize anyone's methods since, as and experiment, I recently started practicing my kegels specifically while we're stretching me wide. My hope is that I will end up looser and more ragged, but still keep my kegel strength (If anyone thinks this is a dumb idea, please speak up!).
3) I was completely uninterested for a few months, but I think shortly before Christmas I started pestering and teasing Mr. S about needing to be impregnated again. For the past few days in particular I've been feeling a noticeable empty feeling in my womb area and pregnancy has been right at the forefront of my mind. The only thing is we've been painting our place, so until I know we're done (for a while at least) I shouldn't give into any urges. We're definitely not planning on having any more kids of our own, but I would desperately like to find a friendly couple who need help. When we feel like its a good time I'll get better acquainted with the laws, procedures, and requirements, then I'll put out the word and see who's out there.
We need more doctors/gynos informing the community really. First we need the doctors and gynos to actually be informed about the subject themselves.
The thing that bothers me most about all this is the amount of uncertainty the medical professionals I've asked about this start giving off when the subject comes up. I guess maybe even the women who are into fisting don't usually feel comfortable talking to a doctor about it?
I definitely intend to at least share photos as my belly grows, and would probably consider camming a little. Of course that's only if it works out. Fingers crossed!
What was the weirdest/craziest thing youve ever put up there? *7 hard boiled eggs (at once)
*an apple NSFW.
*a giant cucumber NSFW.
*a Fleshlight NSFW.
*pee (just once so far- very messy)
*large marbles
What do you keep sniffing? Poppers? Yep!
I can definitely have sex, fisting, etc. without poppers, but they really help to push me over the edge and stretch just that little bit more.
Well, That's the difference between hungry and horny when it comes to cucumbers. Since I'm a feedee, I find it a bit hard to differentiate sometimes :p.
Hate to ask. What are poppers? Short version: they're a (in most places) legal sex enhancer that makes orgasms more intense and also makes stretching yourself even easiemore fun if you're into that sort of thing (but you don't have to be into stretching for them to enhance sex).
Longer version: here's a few posts I've made tagged 'poppers.' Some of them are just pictures, but there's a few posts at the top and bottom that go into more detail about effects and safety and whatnot Link to
Have enjoyed your blog for a while now. Can't wait til you get around to stretching out your asshole. Any new thoughts regarding that? Its actually my New Years resolution to finally pick up an enema kit (thanks btw to the people who sent me advice and tips on what to look for!).
I've had a few more compulsions and fantasies about anal play these past few weeks, so that's probably a good sign, right?
compulsions and fantasies about anal. Nothing spectacular. Sometimes when I'm masturbating or planning to I feel the need to get some fingers or a dildo in my ass. I don't usually give in, since I don't lost the enema bulb I used to use in one of our moves, but I should be fixing that problem soon.
Anything in particular you care to share? I can really intensify normal masturbation or sex by just imagining an extra person/alien fucking me from behind, forcing in and inflating a butt plug, or even giving me an unwilling enema and filling me up till my belly starts expanding and looking pregnant.
Any tips for getting started with fisting? Sounds like you're almost there! If you haven't tried poppers you might want to; they really help loosen those muscles, as well as enhancing orgasms and just being an aphrodisiac.
Playing with her clit and breasts might help too (it's so easy to focus too much on the vagina at that point and forget the rest), since increased arousal increases vaginal elasticity.
Oh, and make sure that you've got plenty of good quality lube. We didn't realize how different one lube can be from another till after we'd been fisting for some time. Astroglide and J-Lube are our favorites (though J-Lube had glucose and might cause yeast infections, particularly in women).
You need to make sure the back of your hand is nicely lubed up, and don't be afraid to use a lot, then keep adding more while you play. We firmly believe that there's no such thing as too much lube!
Would you do the prank again to a different person Uh, that really depends. The guy I pulled the prank on has been a friend of ours for years, and we've been through some crazy shit with him, even spending a month abroad with him, so he wasn't just some random guy.
A bunch of people in the (many) /wtf threads posted about it seemed pretty disgusted that I'd just go and do that to someone, but then a ton of people also said they wished I'd done it to them too...
So there's definitely a chance that that kind of thing will happen again if I think it was something I could get away with, but not if I think there's a chance it would actually upset them.
Holy shit. Fleshlight in vagina sex? Mr. S's friends started talking about their Fleshlights, and convinced more friends to get them, who also spoke pretty highly of them. Mr. S said he didn't feel like he needed one since he had the real thing, but I instantly knew that I wanted him to buy one to see if we could both fuck it together. I couldn't get the idea out of my head and was so excited when it finally showed up. It wasn't until some months later, after he lost the cap for the end of the Fleshlight case that we tried again, with just the insert.
How did you stumble across that one? We got a free cock ring with an order of poppers from FortTroff (who don't sell poppers any more), which kind of sparked my interest, and I wondered allowed if Mr. S thought there might be longer version. He told me about cock sleeves, and we got one, which is OK, but I was pretty disappointed when I quickly outgrew it.
Have you acted that out with actual children's dolls? I haven't, though I've bot a lot of requests for it. I honestly find most dolls, (particularly the baby ones) to be pretty creepy. If I ever find a baby doll that looks like it'd be flexible enough to fit in me, and not too creepy looking, I'll try making a video.
Have you ever tried stretching your cervix? I have had fantasies of being fucked so deeply that even my cervix gets penetrated, and I've seen porn of people putting a sounding rod into a cervix, but it's really not safe.
I specifically talked to a doctor who is also very much into the idea, but warned me that it could lead to my reproductive organs getting infected and messed up. Since I am hoping to eventually be a surrogate, I really don't want to cause any unnecessary damage.
A certain amount of stimulation around the entrance of my cervix can be really hot, but too much poking will quickly become really uncomfortable, so that's about my limit.
My question is, with your SO, does it not take any of the intimacy away to know that his dinky little penis won't give either of you any stimulation or satisfaction at all unless accompanied by a bowling pin or something comparable? Obviously i get that it's a fetish and it's your thing but do you ever just want to have intimate and normal ol' boring sex or is that just not appealing to you at all? I might tease Mr. S from time to time and tell him that he needs some dick enlargement for me to love him (to which he reminds me that, even if he did, I'd just be saying the same thing again in a few weeks anyway :p), but we're both really happy and comfortable with the growing size difference. I still pause before asking him if we can stop sex to put something else in along side him (and whatever else might be in me too) just because I feel a bit guilty pausing our fun, but he actually considers it a huge turn on. I don't feel like it does take away from the intimacy. People keep thinking that it would some how, but I guess I feel like I'm less happy and more distracted when the sex is less fulfilling (pun intended). I mean, we can do all the normal sex positions with a Fleshlight or a collection of toys in me, kiss and cuddle, I just feel more full and we both orgasm harder (it's definitely a huge kink for him). As for fisting, I actually find it particularly intimate. I love the way Mr. S can warp one arm around me while fisting with the other. At the same time he can play with my nipples, kiss and nibble on my belly, or give me oral. I've even got the benefit of orgasming if he touches or licks my belly button piercings. I love cradling his head and running my fingers through his hair while he plays me like an instrument from the inside. There's seriously nothing else like it. A penis alone will never be a match for a pianist's hand <3.
How is your peehole stretching progressing? I had to run off to England for a while to visit family, and we just finished repainting our bedroom, so everything kind of got dropped for a while. I'm kinda starting over where we left off a while back, but now we can set the camera up again (I was kind of embarassed about the granny wallpaper in the room before :p) I'm going to get back to documenting my progress again.
What is your favorite brand of popers? Iron Horse, Locker Room, and Amsterdam are our current favorites.
Thanks again for doing the AMA! That could probably be arranged. I feel a bit nervous about releasing that kind of stuff, but if people are specifically asking for it, it helps me feel a bit less weird. So thanks :)
Is there any particular reason why you've pursued urethral stretching before anal stretching? Technically I did start anal first, but urethal play ended up being a bit more of a favorite for the two of us. Sounding involves some diligent cleaning, but prep and the actual act is definitely easier for than anal.
I guess it probably doesn't hurt that Mr. S is also more into urethal play than anal, too. He's quite likely to ask me to sound while he watches, but I'm a lot less likely to stop sex midway to try adding anything anally (particularly since sometimes I'll go to fast, hurt myself, and end up being completely turned off sex for a while which doesn't seem very fair to him).
Doesnt stretching lead to decreased sensitivity and difficult sexuality? I think you could be right about the decreased sensitivity, but whenever I've mentioned it to Mr. S he'll usually point out that we happened to be using less toys or smaller toys that usual. So it might just seem like reduced sensitivity when compared to how hard I orgasm when I'm really full. (I don't think I ever used to orgasm anywhere near as hard as I do now, so...)
Putting a hand and penis into you sounds kind of tricky and awkward for the guy. Can you still derive pleasure from normal sex? It would be pretty hard to determine the effect it has on sexuality. For both of us, our libidos go up and down all the time. Between periods, having a kid, general stress, and changing hormones as we age, it's almost impossible to say what affects come from where. We'll go from fucking like bunnies, several times a day till I have to tell him to give me a break for at least a day. Then one or both of us will have a dry spell and we just don't give a crap about sex, or one of us will try to lay off the other and just masturbate or whatever. I've noticed that sometimes I do find it very difficult to climax. Sometimes Mr. S just isn't hitting all my buttons just right, but usually its because I just can't get into a sexy mind frame.
How do you see it that makes stretching a constant fun thing to try? When I think about it, I think the biggest threat to my ability to orgasm is desensitizing myself to all the weird filthy fantasies I have.
Is all stimulation similar, just with different sensitivities, or can you clarify the different feelings between the nipples, clit, vagina, anus, and urethra? From what Mr. S tells me, once you get the trick its pretty easy to get everything in there. And yes, we can both orgasm really hard from normal sex. He finds the sensation of barely any pressure far more intense and stimulating than firm pressure (he actually found it harder to finish when I was tight). I on the other hand feel almost nothing as he's fucking me, except the intense spikes of pleasure as the tip of his dick pounds against my cervix (note: this is painful as hell if I'm not aroused, but once I'm worked up properly the sensation is absolutely mind blowing).
Well, my vagina might feel pretty loose to a penis or a hand, but when we're actively stretching me, it feels just as good, if not better now that I'm wider. Maybe I'm just used to it now, but back when we began, even with a normal sized penis, stretching was often kind of on the painful side. Now stretching sends me into wild, almost seizure-like orgasms where I completely lose control of my arms and legs. That absolutely never happened when my vagina was tight (though I don't think the piercings hurt either).
Hmmm, that's a bit of a complicated thing to answer. I do specifically get different sensations from each area. Some are more similar than others.
Vaginal (in and out sensation in my birthing canal) is pretty mellow and almost soothing. My g-spot is like firecrackers, but in a good way :p.
My clit is like a lesser version of my g-spot, in an almost pin sized area if just a tongue is being used, but pinching the labia around my clit can make the area grow quite a bit.
The impact of a cock or toy against my cervix (when aroused) is like lightning that climbs up inside me, about the same intensity as my g-spot.
Anus feels pretty good, similar to vaginal, but I'm still pretty tight so there's often a little pain just on the edge of the pleasure.
My labia outer labia are like a much less sensitive version of my vagina, the inner ones are quite a lot more sensitive, and I can feel a wonderful tugging sensation when Mr. S's lips around them, sucking them in.
My nipples actually started out really insensitive, and I didn't really feel any pleasure till I got them pierced (before that I used to feel terribly guilty when Mr. S sucked on them, because I felt like I was just wasting his time). Now they feel pretty similar to my clit, with very concentrated sensations, but sometimes when they are sucked I get these electrical shocks of pleasure trace lightning like paths down to my clit.
My belly button does the same thing, but since it's closer to my clit the orgasmy feeling it give my clit is way more intense. Mr. S laughs at me when he barely pokes my belly button and I end up having to rub my clit to deal with the residual orgasm it gets. Oddly enough though, I don't actually feel much in the way of distinct pleasure or sensation with my navel piercings. I'm honestly really confused about how I manage to orgasm so hard when I can't tell if I'm really feeling his touch there or not.
My urethra is kind of like my belly button. There's an awful lot that I can't seem to feel at all, which is why it makes me kind of nervous and I'm so careful. It's really hard to tell what I'm feeling in there, or what's happening inside me, but there's just enough nerves that I get super intense sensations here and there, particularly while stretching. I'd say the orgasms and pleasure I get from sounding are the oddest, and I really can't think of any good ways to describe it.
Are there any videos that you can't post on other sites that will appear there? After getting tons of requests from people wanting to know how they could donate or send me things, I looked into posting HD videos on sites like Clips4Sale so fans could pay a few bucks for HD copies of their favorite freely released videos (a kind of bonus for the really big fans who want to contribute something to help us keep sharing), but it turns out that a lot of my favorite kinks (fisting, for one!) aren't allowed there. Stuff with poppers, choking, ect - none of that is allowed on places like C4S.
What are your plans for Surprisingly, fisting is actually considered banned content for being 'obscene' in porn, even in many major first world nations, so we have to keep country in mind when setting something like what we want to do up.
What sorts of reactions have you gotten from your obgyn regarding your stretching/filling activities? Once we get our programmer to put together a properly secured website, we're planning to invite some of the friends we've made online and IRL to post their content too, and to allow them to sell their videos for a better percentage that I've seen offered at any of the 'mainstream' clip sites. From there, maybe we'll see about expanding to let other people post their own stuff if they want.
I was talking with a IRL friend of mine who worked as a camgirl a little while back, and she was telling me that the best place she'd ever worked through only paid the girls something like 40% of the profits! And she said that was the best rate she'd got. That seems a little ridiculous, and I sort of suspect those kind of rates are at least partially intended to keep participants a littler poorer so they keep coming back and offering their services on the site.
If anyone shares anything through LegitKink, we want it to be freely shared by people who are sharing things they genuinely enjoy doing, and preferably not just because they need the money enough to do something they're not quite comfortable with. Ideally, we'd like to set up a sort of rating system that would allow users to rate a video as 'legit' or... I don't know- fantasy? (as in a video of legit kinks being documented by people who obviously love them vs. a more acted-out fantasy involving a kink)
Last updated: 2014-01-18 05:20 UTC
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2013.10.02 05:53 throwmylibido Kinky gyno

THIS IS SO LONG AND I'M SORRY. I really didn't know how much info to include, and I wanted to head off some of the most basic answers which I've already explored. A million thank yous to anyone who can stick with me through this novel.
TL;DR: I mentally desire sex much more frequently/strongly than I physically desire it. I feel like I'm constantly struggling against my own body to get the amount of sex my partner and I both want. It's been an issue of painful/dry penetration in the past, but I've resolved those issues and can consistently have pain-free, well-lubed sex, and it's still so hard to get into it. When I say my body "doesn't want it," I mean I often don't feel any change in heart rate, any flushing or tingling, any significant pleasure from touching. When my mental and physical urges line up it's explosive, but that is rare and unpredictable. It feels like I either have to push through and have frequent but mediocre sex, or resign myself to having 10% of the sex I actually want in order to really enjoy it every time.
My stats in case I'm unclear in the body of the post:

I'm going to TRY to keep this as short and sweet as I can. I'll happily answer any relevant questions rather than dumping the whole mountain of info into this one post. If my boyfriend reads this he'll totally know it's me, but I don't think there's anything here that he doesn't already know, and maybe some of the responses could help him too.
Basically, I hate my sex drive. It feels like a fundamental incongruity with the rest of my personality. I am a very sexual person--I think about sex all the time, I've fantasized about kink since before I even knew what sex was, I have always felt completely open to new sexual information and experiences, I have way too many sex toys. I understand the importance of sex in a relationship and I respect the emotional impact sex has on my boyfriend (and me). If it were up to me I'd have sex almost every day, I'd experiment with same sex and group sex encounters, I'd give just about every kink in the world a try. And yes, I've read the FAQ a million times. I've read every bit of advice I can find on this. My boyfriend and I (and previous partners too) have talked it out time and time again. This isn't a basic communication or stress issue...
Here's something I don't understand: when people talk about having a "low sex drive," do they generally mean a lack of physical response/horniness, or a lack of mental and emotional interest in sex? It seems like they go hand in hand for people 99% of the time, so I feel very alone in that my mental libido (sky high) doesn't match my physical horniness and arousal response (nonexistent to mediocre). We often see posts like "How do I get my low libido partner in the mood?" or "I'm not that into sex, how do I make myself want it more/hold onto my high libido partner?" I never seem to see someone saying "I love sex, I want to have sex more, but I'm never horny, help." So here I am.
One thing which is probably highly relevant to this issue is my bashful orgasm. As I noted above, I masturbate regularly and have no problem bringing myself to orgasm. But I had never had an orgasm in front of another person until my current partner, and I've still only ever been able to do it by masturbating my normal way while he pays attention to something else. So even though we can have great sex that I totally love, I never cum with him. That's a whole other can of worms that isn't worth talking about here--I'd happily go years without an orgasm if it meant I could fuck my partner whenever he or I wanted it. Anyway, I only mention it because many suggestions for this are partnered-orgasm-dependent and that's not on the table for me right now.
I can tell you what is likely NOT causing this problem:
Do I need sex therapy? Yes. I have tried really fucking hard to get some and I'm at a loss at this point. (I have been in and out of normal therapy longer than I've been having sex, which has kept my anxiety and depression in check outside of this issue, but none of my therapists could even scratch the surface of my funky sex problems.) My insurance only allows me to go to its in-house psych services place, and they only have one MFT who does sex therapy. But she mostly does normal couples therapy, and I get the sense that her sex therapy is pretty vanilla and standard (Hi, we've been together for 30 years, help us spice things up by going to a sex shop for the first time). I really need someone who specializes in kink and can talk to me candidly about fetish stuff, porn, masturbation, drugs, etc in addition to more standard physical and romantic issues. I've contacted a few in my area who say they specialize in that stuff, but it'd be between $200 and $500 for one session and that's nowhere near affordable for me, especially since I'd ideally like a few sessions at least...
I'll be honest: I'm terrified that this is going to ruin my relationship eventually, and that it may keep me from having the relationship/sex life I want forever. It breaks my heart when I see my boyfriend feeling sad and confused after being rejected. In my darkest moments I feel insecure thinking about how much happier he might be with someone who jumps on him every chance she gets, and cums easily and often, and takes full advantage of him being sex-on-a-stick. I wish I could just push through the physical deep freeze and make it happen, but I "solved" this that way with my first few partners and all it did was make my sexual anxiety and the relationships themselves worse. I want to have GOOD sex with my boyfriend all the time, sex where I'm dying to have it. I'm so frustrated because I know I have this desire in me somewhere. It feels like the nerves which are supposed to link my brain-libido to my actual sex parts got all mismatched.
I know I probably haven't explained this very well even though I wrote a novel--it's hard to put into words. I've hesitated to post this for a long time because I'm afraid I'll pour it all out and no one will answer. Does anyone feel this same way? Has anyone found a way to improve it? Am I overthinking and self-sabotaging here (probably)? Any thoughts would be welcome. I don't know what else to try at this point.
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2012.04.09 23:01 slowlikehoney Denied birth control, I cried in a CVS aisle. [sort of a rant]

Last time I talked to my insurance company, I was told my oral contraception wouldn't be covered unless it was for a secondary medical purpose (i.e. cramps, cysts, acne). I found this rule puritanical, patronizing and obnoxious, but whatever. My gyno is rad, says I have bad cramps and we're good to go. I get to CVS today to drop off the prescription only to find that it is not covered at all. I cannot get birth control for any sort of reason whatsoever, apparently. The pharmacist was a nice middle aged man who explained things to me clearly and without judgment or condescension. Here's my question: why do I feel so humiliated? I don't harbor any sort of guilt or shame about my sex life; it's awesome. I am currently monogamous, but haven't always been, and I've never felt bad about myself for it. Not for a second. But I've been in tears for the last hour and I can't figure it out why exactly. I don't feel ashamed for needing birth control. I don't feel ashamed for having great, kinky sex. But I feel utterly humiliated right now. Any advice? Internet hugs also welcome.
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2010.09.25 23:52 NeedSomeMojo Kinky gyno

OK, so a couple of months time ago we had a stellar night watching some soft porn on Cinemax. I decided not to ask about it again and let the opportunity strike (left to my own devices, I would've begged her to go to the brazilian fart porn film festival every weekend). I love my wife. We have four kids together and she is seriously the smartest, most beautiful, most decent person I know. Our sex life is a once a week thing and she and I both know that I need it more than she does. Anyway, she whispered for me to find a "kinky movie" to watch tonight after kids are asleep. I feel pressure to choose the right one. Here's what I know: 1) she'll watch girl-on-girl scenes but they're not her fav 2) she likes funny story lines 3) She likes knowing that they're really having sex, but doesn't like gyno shots 4) dunno about amateur. I can download or stream to TV. Thanks, Reddit
EDIT: Feel free to suggest a chick-friendly site that she can help me browse
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