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2018.05.05 15:47 vucy Toilet voyeur poop

I will be trying not to look at porn or masturbate for 30 days and I will be posting a daily excerpt for every day. To keep me focused. Here is my journal from May 4th and May 5th.
Day 1 - May/04/18
12:37 pm

 Today, I’m feeling motivated to stop masturbating and looking at porn. I recently quit smoking and I am at one month without a cigarette so I think I’m mentally ready to move on the next task in hand. The task of controlling my own hand. 
I went on a trip to New York and I had to share a hotel room with 2 other guys for 5 days and didn’t have anytime to even look at porn. By the end of the 5 days my libido has already been looking up. I came home to my girlfriend and I had some of the best sex I think I ever had. My dick felt more sensitive and my mind didn’t wander anywhere else. I was in the moment and high on life. Not to mention the orgasm was beyond fantastic.
 Knowing that depriving myself of porn would benefit me greatly, I continued browsing and looking at it. I would look at porn even at work. I would look at porn on the toilet and I would be looking at it when visiting my moms house when I was alone in the living room. Addicts never really know when they become addicts but I think I finally clued in. I know the benefits of not jerking off yet I still undid my zipper and rubbed a quick one out before my girlfriend got home or in the morning before work. Sexual performance with my girlfriend could be better. I honestly feel awful for not living up to my 50% part of the deal. Some days it would be quick (which can be very arousing, but not in the situation I’m talking about), almost just pressing the fast forward button on sex. Trying to get to the good part just like a porno. Trying to cum to just cum and get it done with. I wasn’t enjoying myself as much as I could have been. Don’t get me wrong, sex is always fun but I knew something wasn’t aligned. Some times I would go soft because I was over thinking sex because I had masturbated that day and was hoping to not go soft so in return my body would deplete the blood from my cock as my sexual performance anxiety got the best of me. This would be followed by “I am so sorry”, “I’m too stressed out right now”, “it’s not you” and many other excuses. Really thinking about it, it was because my sexual energy was locked to a computer screen day after day while I endlessly orgasmed to multitudes of different women. An important thing that I want to add is that I hated fake looking pornstars and scenes. Fake tits are awful and the good video quality ruined it for me. The realness was was lacking. I never had a problem with sagging breasts or hairy vaginas. I knew that this was natural for women to have and I hadn’t distorted my view in that sense. Amateur porn was my go to and along with voyeurism, milfs, matures, teens and many others. I even have a list with pornstars that I particularly like and I don’t want to forget their names. This list is in alphabetical order with prominent characteristics written beside each name so I can remember what they look like or if I was “in the mood for something specific”. This list may not disappear right away because it gives me too much anxiety at the moment to delete it. My main goal is abstinence from porn. I know this list will feed my addiction like a devil on my shoulder whispering in my ear but for now I can resist the whispers. I was starting to recognize my problem. I was developing certain fetishes for certain characteristics. 
I was making the perfect woman in my head from gathering features from porn stars.
Redhead and freckles? Yes please. Natural tits? Check. Perky tits? Yup. Curvy with a bigger ass? Definitely.
 Looking at this from a third party perspective, it’s actually kind of fucked up. I was making my own ideal woman in my head from pictures and videos of women I will most likely never meet. The constant sight of areolae and rounded breasts and female genitalia was becoming static. It didn’t hit me like it use to hit me. This lead me to the story of the first time I jerked off. When I was 11 years old I was visiting a family friend in a nearby city and my mom and I were staying the night. The night went on and the adults were drinking and smoking at the dinner table and it was almost time for me to go to sleep. I went into the bathroom and decided to take a poop before I went to bed. I was bored out of my mind and before phones took up my time on the toilet, I looked for a book or magazine to to read while I pooped. To my exciting surprise, I had found a stack of old playboys underneath the sink. There was hundred of titties from the 80s and 90s that started to make me breath heavy and started to make my heart pound like a heard of elephants. I was looking at something forbidden. I knew I wasn’t suppose to look at those magazines but I was in the bathroom taking a shit and I knew nobody would be coming through that door. So I started touching myself and next thing you know I had this tickle and boom! I was introduced the wonderful world of porn! A very classy story I know but the part of being overcome by the sexual energy of the situation was what I always remember. I can’t explain that feeling of pure horniness. Your body convulses and the butterflies in your stomach becoming a pounding gorilla that is ready to come out. I am a firm believer that this feeling can be obtained again through the absence of pornography. So with my confidence that I can boost my sex life and feel sex like I should I start my journey today with no jerking off and not going on to one website affiliated with porn. 
I’m not looking forward to triggers because I know they will be everywhere. The cesspool known as 4chan was the worst one for me. Porn was in almost every corner of the website along with objectification of women. I do not judge anyone for using the site but it turned me into a worse version of myself. 4chan is a daily occurrence for me. The paranormal board along with the political board still interest me but I will be avoiding the random board like the plague. Threads like “pictures you shouldn’t share” and “ex-gf’s” were common and I would browse them daily.
 Today I deleted “triggers” from my instagram. I followed certain women because I got off to them and deleting them completely from my view is the only option. I get anxiety like I’ll be missing out on a certain picture or video that comes up on my feed. I find myself going to straight to porn after I see clad pictures on Instagram putting the wrong ideas in my head. I only followed these women because I objectified them for certain qualities that were sexual to me. It’s going to be a tough one because of the internet in general but I’m in the right direction. Feeling slightly anxious today but I’m going to distract myself with a horror movie or by making some art. 
Day 2 - May/05/2018
6:44 am
The daily logs probably aren’t going to be as long as the first one. The first was mostly to explain my background. As for today, my girlfriend shook me awake at 6:30 this morning telling me she’s leaving work. I was confused because it’s Saturday but I also realized that I would be alone all day at my house today. This is bad. This happens in a blue moon and when it does I usually went to the computer and jerked off for an hour or two or I would edge for a good while. I guess that was another thing I should have mentioned in the first place. Maybe a year ago I experimented with edging. I would get to the point that if I simply thought about sexual situations that I could cum. My dick would be incredible sensitive and some times I would even fuck up and end up ejaculating too early. Most of the time I would edge just to make sex more pleasurable or to make sure I had a big cumshot. Unfortunately, a few times didn’t work out and edging actually would deflate my dick for sex. After all that stimulation to my dick, i had no more mojo! My dick was tuckered out. In one instance by cock actually swelled up from edging. This is known as ballooning. I was scared at first but eventually calmed down after realizing it wouldn’t be forever. This is when I had feelings of shame and guilt come over me. This is when I knew I shouldn’t be looking at porn anymore. So today might a very tempting day but I’ll try to push through it. Just have to distract myself and then distract my self more after that. 
If you guys have tips please let me know.
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2017.05.21 04:31 master_debaters Toilet poop voyeur

Toilet paper trains your bowel to become a "voyeur" who watches "others" have diarrhea instead of seeking it. It programs the bowel to be a spectator instead of an active participant in one's diarrheaual life.
This "voyeurism" extends (subconciously) to other areas of one's life as he "watches" others succeed, achieve goals, and get the girls of his dreams.
My observation may seem far fetched, but that's the truth. To prove it's the truth, look at what happens when someone quits POO. He becomes more social, approaches that girl he was afraid of approaching, gets shit done, smashes that job interview, gets high grades and works on improving himself in many areas of his life. He becomes an active participant in life instead of a spectator.
This has been my experience for a long time, and i'm sure many will relate. This is one of the biggest and the most powerful benefits of NoPoop/No POO - the feeling of being part of life and not the opposite. Stick to NoPoop, it always works.
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2015.12.02 01:12 Carbon_Carlos Toilet poop voyeur

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2015.01.26 21:15 goodkareem Toilet poop voyeur

This fuck up happened a few days ago. So I am in the military. Being on a deployment these days is tough and being away from home is the worst part. Almost everyone is pretty sexually repressed so talks about the nastiest things are common place. Porn is openly discussed in the workplace. My outlet wasn't just the porn though. I had taken it one step further with a daily ritual. We had out house style toilets so you had to walk about 50 meters to get to the bathrooms everyday. I am a swing shift worker (3pm-11pm) so the best part of waking up late was having almost the entire shower room to yourself. The showers were cleaned by the local nationals twice a day and I would always get in there right after the cleaning crew left to take a poop in a clean toilet and use the freshly cleaned showers.
Well the shower setup had two male showers and one female shower all right next to each other. The cleaning duties on the base are out sourced to local nationals. Being in a country that is also pretty sexually repressed I had established a ritual. After leaving the shower and essentially having the building alone to myself I would get a chub before walking back to my room and with gym shorts and the wind it would leave little to the imagination as I walked past the group of 10-15 Muslim ladies all waiting for the males to get done cleaning their second bathroom so that they could get picked up and go about their business.
Being a pretty average looking guy we don't get much attention like that. What started as a simple wardrobe mistake became something of a daily venture into voyeurism. It started when I showered one day and left my shirt in my room. I walked the 50 yards back to my room shirtless. The ladies couldn't get enough of me. Im sure they had seen their local guys shirts less before but not a fully filled out and corn fed man. Then, I gradually started pushing the envelope. I wouldn't even dry off any more and I let the sun glisten off of my chest. I even stopped wearing underwear and let the wind fully define my junk. It was a rush having 30 eyes all ogling you all at once, albeit some of them older ladies, but still a rush never the less. I felt...I felt HOT. This must be how a girl with large breast feels daily and it was something magical. The wind rushed through my non existent hair and I walked with the stone face of a runway model. All the while my junked bobbed from side to side. They all looked and whispered to each other. It was as much a ritual for them as it was for me. They really couldn't take their eyes off my half naked average body.
So a few days ago I decided to take it to the next level. I had already raised the bar by getting my shorts completely wet once and at this point you could even see the defined head of my shaft. I said to myself "Today, im going to give these ladies what they want" and I set out to put on the show like they had never seen before. I always made sure to get about chubbed before leaving the bathroom in order to be that much more impressive. Let me back up for a minute for the females in the audience and explain the penile scale here.

So trying im in the bathroom cranking down on myself. Im pulling and tugging trying to reach an optimal level. Im finally torqued and figure that is probably good enough to be impressive. As I put on my shorts though the silky smooth cloth sliding over my torqued dick caused a reaction. Like Bruce Banner stepping on a Lego at night I had lost control. I was officially fully torqued. It wasn't a matter of if they could handle it and at this point I was scared for myself. Still, Instead of waiting this thing out I had to go through with at this point. I stepped out of the bathroom with my flag flying high and started my strut. The sun glistening over my wet body and wind tickled as it whistled through the shear shorts pass through the gap of my fully torqued dick and swinging testicles. This is when things get fucked up.
I don't know if it was during my shower or sometime during the cranking down phase I never noticed the alarm but as I gazed around in horror their were no ladies to be found. It was a shelter in place drill. Meaning anyone that wasn't cleared to be walking around the camp would be stopped and questioned. Immediately I spotted a humvee and a group of armed marines standing with rifles to the ready. I tried not to make eye contact. The marines yelled "HALT!!" and I got hit with a knife hand motioning me to come over. For a second we froze. His blank loaded rifle pointing near me and as was mine toward him. It was like a scene from American Sniper. I could hear myself breathing. The tension in the air cut be cut with a knife. Full torqued I stood in the wind, motionless besides the subtle movement of my throbbing member. As I walked my problem was exasperated by the side to side swinging motion against the silky smooth gym shorts. I set down my shower bag and he tells me to put my hands on my head. Its about three of them and the seargent walks over laughing and tells their lowest ranking give me a pat down. Disgusted by my torqueness, he hesitantly obliged. I stand as about three marines are all cracking up while one of them pats me down, turning his head to the side to avoid coming too close to my my iron cobra. After what seemed like forever they go back to their humvee and tell me to go carry on. I could feel the heat of their laughter on my back. I've never un-torqued so fast. I walked with my head in shame back to my room. Needless to say I fucked up.
TL;DR - I tried to get torqued to impress a group of muslim ladies and found myself in a mexican standoff.
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2013.10.22 17:09 WillSuckDickForRoads Are you ever taking a shit and get that strange feeling that you aren't being watched?

guise it's really creepy sounding, I know, but I was just dropping the kids off at the pool, red faced, grunting, really making an adventure out of it, I haven't eaten much fruits or veggies this month, but then I got the strangest feeling... The hairs on my neck stood up straight, I felt like I wasn't being watched. Not by either of the two night vision cams in my toilet bowl or the one in the ceiling above my shower, not even by the periscoping camera in my heating duct that usually keeps me company when I'm deucing in the winter.
Needless to say that I lost my resolve, I couldn't go anymore. The thrill and excitement was gone, the tantalizing voyeurism that usually puts me over the edge was removed. I don't know how I knew, I just knew. The red lights were still on all the cameras but somehow I knew that there wasn't any lifeless, loveless, dreamless bureaucrat staring with vacant hostility into a monitor as gripped the toilet seat lid until my fingers went purple and I nearly gave myself a repeat hernia straining with the desire to impress.
I've been backed up for weeks now. Please guise, let's increase some property and sales tax to keep NASA funded.
Fly me to the moon
Let me poop among the stars
Let me see if I can drop a deuce
As big as Jupiter and Mars
In other words, spy on me
In other words, baby, watch my cam
Fill my heart with corn and
Let me crap forever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
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2013.07.18 22:31 confusedthrww Toilet poop voyeur

To start off, I think porn is great! It's not some evil demon thing that only monsters look at. Everyone looks at it as some point, and that's fine. The content he looks at actually turns me on too, a shared fetish we have, so that's neat!
However, he wants to look at it everyday, and not have sex with me nearly as often.
Let's go back to when the relationship started. I told him that my sex drive is pretty high, generally wanting to get off 1-3 times a day. I don't indulge in it most of the time, but I'm pretty much horny all the time. He explained his sex drive is not very high, which I'm fine with. He says he'll often go for weeks without masturbating, so I hopefully don't expect sex everyday, but he might be more often now that he has an actual girl around. Cool beans! I'm down with that!
Things are going perfectly (still are, aside from this, imo) and we move in together. There are a few sex issues to pan out right off the bat. I personally rarely come during sex. I have always had great difficulty, and tries a lot of things, none of which work. He has already made me come a few times at this point, so I'm really excited about that! He has the same issue, never coming, since he's only had sex once years ago before I came along. He's just too used to his hand.
That's fine! We work it out, doing other things and whatnot over a few months and eventually he starts to come during sex. Awesome! Well, during this period, he still says he suffers from a low libido. The problem being, he's a terrible liar. He'd be in the bathroom spanking it almost every day. I know for a fact he wasn't pooping, because you can look under the door and see his feet facing the sink, so unless he's peeing in the sink for 30 minutes, I don't know what else he'd be doing.
This hurts me pretty deep. Why would he lie to me? Am I doing something wrong? I've offered to do anything he could dream of, which he turns down, then goes and spanks it instead? What is wrong with me? I hide my sadness, and pretend I don't know.
I try to turn it around and just start being a voyeur, I could crack the door without him noticing, and watch his reflection and hear his sexy noises. This worked for a little while, but I wanted actual sex. His turning me down for his hand hurt me more and more every time he did it. I would cut him off at the pass, clearly telling him I wanted to have sex, and would do whatever he wanted, but he would turn me down, saying he's too tired, or he's not in the mood... He just left out the end of the statement "for anything other than my porn"
Our computers are in the same room, and we can see each other's screens by just turning our heads. I usually get really into whatever I'm doing, and tunnel vision. He caught onto this, and started looking at porn with me right there in the room. I'd turn around and see it, but not say anything. I didn't want to embarrass him. I'd make some obvious noise that I was getting up, so he'd have sufficient time to close it out before I "saw", then would approach him saying I was in the mood. He'd brush me off, giving some excuse, and I would go along with it... minutes later he'd be in the bathroom wanking...
I must admit, I started setting traps. He was adamant about cleaning up/catching it with toilet paper, so... I'm ashamed to be saying this, but I would purposely not leave any TP in there. I knew it wasn't in there, and I'd wait until 10-15 minutes had passed. He wouldn't think about it until nearly the end, so I would have a reason to go "Oh baby, I don't think there's any TP in there! Here, let me get you some!" even if I didn't just invite myself in, if he tried to stealthy-toilet-sit, his giant boner is impossible to hide. I would then confront him, in a sexy way, saying we should do it. It almost never yielded actual sex. He would say he was already close, and just wanted to finish on his own. I'd hide my heartbreak and say it was okay. Anyways...
Eventually, I would see him looking, and go "Ooooh! So you're in the mood now? Let's have some fun!" He didn't have an excuse this time, clearly he was in the mood with his rager and 20 tabs of porn open, but he was still reluctant. He'd say "okay" with the excitement of a potato. I tried to get him to see how I was better. I must be better, right? Guess not.
He would openly look at porn with me in the room now. I never got mad at him, I never showed him how much he was hurting me. I didn't think it was needed, and it wouldn't solve anything. I would comment on how we should do stuff, and more and more often we would. The problem now being that he had been stroking, too. He would be 70%-90% done by the time I got him into bed. Sometimes literally 5-10 pumps and he'd be done.
Okay... That's fine... I'm used to not being able to finish before any guy, but... I dunno, it's fun still, but 5-10 pumps isn't enough to do much of anything. I told him it was okay, that it was still fun. I didn't want to push him away by bringing attention to it. But it was every time now. I'd get like 40 pumps a week, total. I'd masturbate later, and that's okay too I guess. Just not ideal.
Then, I started cutting him off at the pass again, saying we should do it, or aggressively doing sexy things without him even being prepared for it. It worked for a little, and at least now he wasn't hiding in the bathroom jerking it everyday. But, then he started asking if he could look at his porn before we start. He'd be happy with having sex, but not without porn first.
I didn't know how to react. My heart sank. "Sure!" I'd say. At least I'd get sex? No, not really. He gets so out of hand with it, he'd still end up being mostly done by the time we'd get started.
Not only is he going against the constant advice out there of "pre-heating the oven" but he was half-baked before even looking at the oven! I could never confront him during the act, and I could never think of a good time to bring it up otherwise.
So, I started jokingly putting restraints on the porn. Only for a few minutes, which he would abuse and end up stretching "just one more picture" "just one more link" and I didn't want to be what I thought was a bad girlfriend, and tell him "No, that's enough." I was have felt selfish about my needs this entire time, so I rarely put my foot down.
It started to hurt enough that once we "finished" he would go clean himself off, and I would just quietly cry. I've never felt so ugly and unwanted before. He was still oblivious to how much he was hurting me. Until a few weeks ago, I think. He was joking about why I didn't want him to look at his porn, and as calmly and logically as I could, I explained this post in a nutshell. Just that basically he was almost done with sex by the time I wasn't even warmed up. And that I was feeling very unsexy, and very bad about myself.
He said he understood, but it hasn't changed much. He still "sneaks" looks at porn whenever we game. He still jerks it for a long time before saying anything, and he still acts like sex < wanking. In fact, the last several times we have had sex, it didn't feel great, because he was doing it out of obligation. I've tried scheduling a day, "don't jerk it beforehand, I want to give you a blowjob to work on my gag reflex tomorrow/friday/next weekend!" He would promise we'd do something, and I'd get put on the back burner. He works hard, and that's fine to be tired some days, but when I offer to do all the work? Whats the excuse then?
This issue has been invading my dreams. I get turned down in my fucking sleep, guys. I get cheated on by the very people I see in his porn. I don't even feel much like masturbating, because I just feel so unsexy. I don't even really look at porn anymore when I decide to, because just the thought of how much it has invaded my life, it just upsets me and turns me off.
I don't know where to turn. I don't know where to draw the line. I want him to have the freedom to fap, but I can't help but feel like a rejected burden when he prefers his hand to me. Especially when he's literally said that climaxing inside me is 10 times better than with his hand. So what the fuck then? How am I not supposed to think something is wrong with me? I've even offered things I don't want to do in an attempt to get him to even glance my way.
I'm afraid of directly confronting him, he's a very quiet guy, and honestly everything else in the relationship is more than perfect. I've never loved someone more in my life, which is why this hurts so much. He's so amazing, and I feel like a fucking asshole acting this way. He goes above and beyond in every other aspect of the relationship, I've never had someone show this amount of love and care to me. Why can't I just be fucking happy with that? Why can't he just be happy with me over his hand and his fucking hentai?
submitted by confusedthrww to sex [link] [comments]