Mature secret video

The Universe wish you to know the 'Power of Surrender' and the 'Power of Acceptance'. It wants you to realize that it loves you unconditionally. This is a simple yet very powerful message which needs to be reminded for thriving humanity. 'The Universe is not Biased, It's us, humans who are Biased' - Shanaya Ruby With every thought, every word, every deed, with every breath, you create your own life. Use this knowledge and the underlying law of attraction and let the universe know what kind of life you want... As Walt Whitman succinctly stated: “The whole theory of the universe is directed unerringly to one single individual – namely to You.” Without your mind to process it, the universe simply disappears into nothingness. The universe knows your needs BEFORE you know your needs. All you have to do is look out for the signs and TRUST that you are being guided and supported every step of the way. There is a divine order and timing to everything; trust in that. And lastly, don’t forget that YOU ARE Universal Spirit. With every thought, every word, every deed, with every breath, you create your own life. Use this knowledge and the underlying law of attraction and let the universe know what kind of life you ... Shop for gifts (for yourself and others) featuring positive affirmations on mugs, stainless steel drink ware, T-shirts, luggage tags, journals and more at The Universe Knows Inc.. With affirmations such as “blessings are everywhere” “we’re all connected” “embrace the moment” and “believe in yourself,” these products are dedicated to inspiring others. The mission of Ron’s company the universe knows, inc. is to encourage each and every one of us to go out and live our lives with passion, purpose and courage. The company has a host of products ranging from super soft combed ring spun cotton hoodies, to bistro coffee mugs to a whole lot more. You Are What You Wear The Universe Knows, Inc. is an apparel company dedicated to inspiring people. the company was founded on and is dedicated to a unique vision to remind people of the wisdom that resides within, and inspire strength and courage to live with passion and purpose. I am a fan of daily mantras and positive thoughts so I really ... The universe (or god, goddess -- whatever suits you) isn't a magic genie where your wish is its command. It will 100 percent support you in creating a life you love by giving you the challenges, experiences, tools, skills and relationships you need in order to get to where you want to go. T ake control of your life and make a few simple steps to a better life: 1. Take a few minutes of your time! 2. Sit down in a quiet place! 3. Create your desire in your mind! 4. Enjoy in your mind as you make this come true! 5. When you feel this feeling, when you are happy that your wish has come true, write it in the form below and send it to ...

2020.10.22 13:46 BhushanAM The Universe knows every single wish you made...

And is always working to bring it closer to you. Blessings have a way of manifesting when you release them to Divine timing. When you let go of how, when, and why, what you want will show up bigger than you thought, faster than you can imagine, and more rewarding than you dreamed of. Be patient, allow your dreams to mature into more.
Change your mindset to live life of your dreams: Secret Mind-Hacks That Can Completely Change Your Life- Watch Video.
The Law Of Attraction Will Never Work Unless You Do These 9 Things: Article.
submitted by BhushanAM to numerology [link] [comments]


2020.10.22 13:45 BhushanAM Mature secret video

And is always working to bring it closer to you. Blessings have a way of manifesting when you release them to Divine timing. When you let go of how, when, and why, what you want will show up bigger than you thought, faster than you can imagine, and more rewarding than you dreamed of. Be patient, allow your dreams to mature into more.
The Law Of Attraction Will Never Work Unless You Do These 9 Things: Article.
Change your mindset to live life of your dreams: Secret Mind-Hacks That Can Completely Change Your Life- Watch Video.
submitted by BhushanAM to LawofAttractionAdvice [link] [comments]


2020.10.21 04:16 pinkpugita Mature secret video

My post is more gushing than a proper analysis so pardon me.
I've started Guilty Gear back when I was kid using my cousin's Dreamcast and my first impression of Ky was that he's a generic knight in shining armor. After a few years I came back to the series around 2009 and was able appreciate the lore and characters with an older teenage mind.
Ky Kiske is a multi-layered and deconstructed paragon character. His backstory of being a prodigy and war hero, as well as his core traits of selflessness, heroism, faith, idealism and strong adherence to rules would either be seen as wish fulfillment or cliche.
Contrast this to our main character Sol Badguy who is the carefree, rough and guilt driven character and it becomes one of the best dynamics in video game.
Sol and Ky's dynamic has changed a lot over the years and they fuel development on each other. Ky started off angry and distrusting of Sol for disrespecting the Holy Knights. Ky's strong desire of justice and order lead him to challenge and question Sol over and over.
Ky from his teenage years to his early twenties thought that it's his duty to "correct" someone like Sol but certain events made him realize how gray the world is after the war. During the Crusades, it's just a simple Good Humans vs Evil Gears in Ky's mind.
One of his most significant growths is triggered by Justice in GG Missing Link.
Justice: "I can't believe it...I've been defeated again."
Ky: "That's right! Evil has no place in this world!"
Justice: "Evil...? How dare you call me evil!?...I fight for my own existence. No more, and no less..."
Ky: "That can't be your reason for waging war on humans!!"
Justice: ".....Look at my body. I was created by humans to kill humans...I'm a weapon. Yet, the same humans that created me never thought about my mind, or soul. I'd have been used as a tool...and if I refused, I'd have been dismantled!"
Ky: "...I..."
Justice: "Ask yourself...Can you truly blame me? I was born into this world as a slave... And now you're here to destroy me. I know humans loathe me violently...and always will. I could do nothing but live on, if for no other reason than to scorn my creators! But what do you think I've been living FOR? My duty. My assigned role! I was created to kill, and so I do. It's Justice!"
Ky: "That's a delusion!! What God ordains and wishes for...The order of the world! THAT is justice!! If anyone or anything attempts to deprive the world from its freedom... I'll defeat them all!!"
[Justice reveals about That Man]
Ky: "No...you can't die yet!! Who...? Wasn't I doing the right thing, Lord?"
While this convo is not 100% canon due to multiple paths, it's implied to have taken place since Ky was shaken by it and becomes his motivation in finding Dizzy. His encounter with Justice made him question everything he fought for in the war and his sense of justice. The comics made it some paths in GGX canon where Ky had full intention in protecting Dizzy and helped her hide among the Jellyfish Pirates.
Ky also became slowly disillusioned by how dirty the world is post-war in GGXX. It's not monsters versus humans anymore and he just can't hack and slash his way to victory.
The harshest period in Ky's life was during the time he and Dizzy entered a relationship. Ky harbored so much guilt for having premarital sex and for fathering a Gear. He can't marry her legally or possibly even inside the Catholic church Dizzy due to her legal status and secret. And yep even in Xrd stories they're still not really married (unless stated otherwise) but refer to each other as husband and wife.
(Yep, Ky a religious guy done right. He walks his faith and not written as a stereotypical Bible Thumper and Knight Templar).
The government knew about Ky's secret relationship and they coerced him to be their puppet king. The complicated position made Ky an absentee father which Sin resented him for.
This forced Ky to give Sin away to Sol. In the Overture short story, Ky broke down in tears when Sin told Sol not to hurt him.
Valentine almost dissolved Dizzy and he sacrificed his sword to freeze her.
His kingdom got invaded.
But Ky never lost the hope, which is engraved in his belt. He's forced into being a king and he lived up to the title and even became wiser and resilient.
I came back 2020 binging Xrd cutscenes to see Ky saying less than refined language, being relaxed and inviting Sol to drink, fighting dirty, and overall just being a more mature and well adjusted human being. He still has his idealism and isn't ashamed to admit his faith. He fully embraced the less than ideal circumstances he's in but happy and content with his loved ones.
I'm now close to his canon age and damn, I want to grow as a great human being like him.
And we got the wham revelation: he might as well be a Gear too now. Just contrast it to his conversation with Justice above and its just the topping in the delicious ironic life of Ky.
Now Ky is redesigned with black clothes and I'm very excited at the direction they're taking him.
submitted by pinkpugita to Guiltygear [link] [comments]


2020.10.20 19:04 Chris_Cars [Sci-fi] [Semi-Lit] The officer wasn't human all this time.

WELCOME
Hello there. I'm just sharing this plot here in case anyone is interested in a sci fi roleplay. I had read the new post made by the mods and I agree with it. Any debate is good but with respect. As you see I prefer to do Sci-fi roleplays and in case you enjoy this kind of roleplays you can comment or pm me if you are interested. I roleplay on Discord mainly because I can organize the information better. I'm looking for someone that wants to rp as an officer that hides a secret about his truth nature. That officer isn't the only one who hides similar secrets but a journalist will discover that one day.
CLARIFICATION

DESCRIPTION
Everything started in the year 2220. Adstra industries and other similar companies of technology are basically controlling the country in a new way of government that work with the people that has a lot of money. Where the police is another private enterprise and justice is a product.
The journalist called Michael Robinson worked hard to get an interesting job reporting real life news and not only type articles about technology. He really loves technology like new smartphones, vehicles or even robots but he felt his job wasn't that interesting. He wanted to report news when that technology causes problems. Of course the news are controlled by Adstra, that means Michael can report the news that don't affect Adstra, but of course it wasn't as evident or easy to recognize that control
Michael meets a police officer. The officer also wants to work hard to make sure the city is safe. He has being investigating few cases. They both become closer friends. Michael noticed the officer had experience in his job, that also has an stoic way to act and that stills being and looking healthy and strong. Of course they didn't have enough time to meet again until a strange case about a robot going out of controls is reported. Michael and his team travel there he fastest as they can, but the Officer was already there.
Only one person was allowed to get in so Michael will have to control de cameras and the audio. The police station has delicate technology made by Adstra industries for example: AI driven cars or weapons. The journalist got inside the place slowly. Of course the technology inside there wasn't made to look adorable but the people inside there helped Michael to find his friend. Michael opened the door and the police was there. The officer finished his job, smiled to the journalist and invited him to sit and talk.
After that the friends talked casually about all their own job and their life. Then the joustnalist turned on the camera to start the interview. The policeman got ready , he looked relaxed, until Michael accidentally took a picture with flash instead of recording a video. The officer blinked few times. Then he looked to his friend but his face expression started to look different.
The Officer at first looks surprised, his eyes start blinking quickly. Michael looked to him confused and a bit of a computer buzzing could be heard. Then the officer said the next phrase "s-sensors broken e-emergency shut down activated" he stutters out, his voice suddenly became more robotic and his face expression became blank. A bit of smoke was going out from the officer and then finally... The machine shuts down. The journalist then realized his friend is a machine. After confusing feelings Michael would try to use his knowledge to fix his friend and escape but time is limited and probably... There are more androids out there who would do the impossible to find them but specially stop them.
ABOUT THE ANDROIDS
Those androids are aware they are machines made to work for the police but at the same time simulate they are really humans,but they can't understand those emotions and that profile isn't the real way they would act. That means their "human profile" just hides their truth nature. They have mostly a normal stoic robotic formal behaviour. The androids are not aware if what they do if wrong or good, they just follow orders but they are capable of learning too. The androids were made to protect the reaputation of Adstra Industries. They hide cases realted to the enterprise with the excuse is obviously protect people as infiltrated agents (or robots) but that was a secret for everyone except Adstra Indusries (remember the police in this world is also an enterprise) until the journalist discovered that secret.
CONCLUSION
Basically I'm not asking for a book. Just a normal semi lit roleplay. If your answers is more than just "*walks*" it will be fine. Remember to have fun of course and to ask questions or tell suggestions if you want to add something else to this rp. Remember I can rp here or use Discord. You can comment here or pm me. I want to say happy halloween today to every member on this Sub reddit. Take care during this new days. Thanks and see you soon.
submitted by Chris_Cars to RoleplayPartnerSearch [link] [comments]


2020.10.20 06:43 JoelC2 [Chapter 5] Mythical Glory Ruby Full In-Depth Guide! (OC) - Ruby's Combos 1 - 2

Back to Navigation Main Guide Page!
https://www.reddit.com/mobilelegends/comments/jelvdx/how_to_play_counter_ruby_mythical_glory_ruby/
Note: I need to post all the chapters before I can compile the links for the main page! Those who are here early, thank you for checking out this post! I'll be releasing the whole thing over the next few days, thank you for your understanding, happy reading! ~ JoelC
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CHAPTER 5 (Part 1) _________________________________________________________________________________________
Navigation Section:
Because of the character limit, I have no choice but to split this whole guide into individual posts!
Use the link on top to bring you back to the main post, where you'll find all the chapters!
No matter what chapter you're on, feel free to discuss, debate, and suggest improvements!
If you have Important Questions for me, there’s a chapter called [Fav Plays & Author Q&A] where you can ask me questions directly!
NOTE : Since there are too many videos, please go back to the [Main Page] to view other combos!
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Short Introduction
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Hi everyone, I'm JoelC from the SEA server, with an over 70% Win Rate in Mythical Glory (MG) as of season 17. I peaked at Global top 55, and top 8 Ruby in SG.
https://reddit.com/link/jek7bd/video/y67e1lhf47u51/player
I noticed that there weren't many in-depth guides to those looking to master Ruby, and this guide is my way of giving to the community! For global Ruby players and Ruby lovers around the world, please let me know what you think! Let's make this an awesome guide together! :D
This whole guide is basically a book about Ruby, and is a homage to a hero that has taught me both maturity in-game and in real life. If you've come to master Ruby, you've come to the right place :)
Side note: This actually my first Reddit post (ever!), so I apologise if I miss replies to comments or have boomer moments when understanding the context of questions and memes! Feel free to teach me!
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RUBY'S COMBOS (1 - 2) This is where it gets good <3
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For simplicity's sake, we are going to give code names to Ruby's skills.
[First Skill] = {Fan}
[Second Skill] = {Pull}
[Ultimate] = {Hook}
[Passive] forward = {Jump+}
[Passive] backward = {Jump-}
[Melee] = {AA}
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Combos Content Page

  1. Master Ruby's Movement
  2. Ruby's Farming Style
  3. Ruby's Fighting Dance
  4. Ruby's Standard Engage/Disengage
  5. Ruby's Surprise Engage
  6. Ruby's Signature Move
  7. Ruby's Aggressive Catch
  8. Ruby's Secret Techniques
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1 - Master Ruby's Movement {Fan} / {Pull} / {Hook} > {Jump+/-}
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Very Intricate Skill to Learn!
This is your ABSOLUTE BREAD AND BUTTER skill, and doing it right is the key that separates you from other Ruby players!
Ruby's [Passive] will make her leap a huge distance if it's in front of her {Jump+} (180 degree angle), and will only hop a shorter distance if you hop behind {Jump-} DEPENDING ON WHERE SHE IS FACING, keep this in mind! I'll talk more about it later!
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https://reddit.com/link/jek7bd/video/jyr6gp6347u51/player
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{JUMP+} CAN BE USED TO DODGE/BUFFER SLOWS AND SOME STUNS
Your {Passive} cannot be stopped once casted, meaning that YOU CAN AVOID CC in 4 ways:
When you are SLOWED, your {Jump+} can act like you were not even slowed!
Even though you may take the initial dmg, don't under-estimate this jump, it will save your life!
You can use it also for DODGING, which can be used to avoid many different skills!
Some really good examples:
  1. Valir dodgeball fun - you can basically avoid all of his fireballs if you play dodgeball with him, make your jump pattern and walking pattern unpredictable, you won't get hit!
  2. Gusion swords - After he hits you with the tracker, you’ll want to watch when he comes in. If timed right, you can dodge all the damage from the swords!
  3. X'Borg and Vale circle of deaths - this is insane, you can actually jump out of X'Borg and Vale's ultimate range if you time it right and if you've practiced! Your {Jump+} is not affected by slows!
  4. Khufra / Lolita ultimate - both of these heroes have wind up time before their CC, allowing you to hop right past them before they use their ultimate!
  5. Pharsa airstrike - you can dodge the AOE of her ultimate damage by planning where you wish to jump, it’s not always successful, but doing it well will really help you greatly!
Other normal encounters:
Kagura fan, Franco hook, Johnson car, Hanzo circle of death, Atlas stun, Harley 2nd skill, Chang'e ultimate, Dyrroth 1st and ultimate, etc etc etc!
This also applies to BUFFERING after you get hit by CC (Flying while stunned!)
Some of stuns you can buffer:
  1. Yu Zhong knock-up - you can {Jump+} even while being knocked up, however the {Jump+} must be casted before the stun
  2. Guinevere knock-up + ultimate - you can jump away even after knocked up, making her miss her ultimate on you! Ruby is actually a super counter to Guinevere, more on that in matchups.
  3. Kadita knock-up / Chou knock-up / Grock knock-up etc!
  4. Gord stun - You can still jump buffer if you time it when the stun hits, giving you distance.
  5. Odette stun / Baxia knockdown / Selena stun / Basically any other stun you predict!
Note : THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO DISPLACEMENTS (Zi long {flip} / Chou {Ult})
Finally this applies to REDIRECTION, before you get hit by CC!
The important ones:
  1. Chou kick - By using {Pull} and {Jump+}, you can get yourself behind Chou, so he can’t kick you into the enemy team!
  2. Moskov knockback - If you know the knockback is coming, you can use {Jump+} to redirect it so you don’t hit a wall and get stunned! This can be used to knock you away from him as well!
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{JUMP+} CAN BE USED AFTER SHORT STUNS
This is a hidden gem that people often don't know, and something that you can absolutely abuse!
For example, after Valir knocks you back, if you've casted a skill just before, you can still {Jump+/-}. Other examples are Moskov knockback, Hilda ultimate, Minotaur ultimate, Minsitthar knockback, Bane ultimate, Badang knockback, Diggie pullback, and Luo Yi pullback, just to name a few!
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You get the picture, learning this jump is a must, no matter what you do, and mastering it is the key to playing Ruby well! NOT TO MENTION IT GIVES YOU ARMOR AND MAGIC RESIST TOO!!!
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Ruby's {Jump+} allows her to pass Thin Terrain
Here's a short video of most of the terrain you need to know! I would recommend [Imperial Sanctuary Map] for the closest representation of the size of the wall!
(Map button is beside chat of game lobby)
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https://reddit.com/link/jek7bd/video/vj61q45447u51/player
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Mythic Tip: Sometimes you don't always have to throw the {Fan} towards the enemy. If you know the enemy does not have movement skills, you can throw a {Fan} backwards or sideward, because it changes the way Ruby faces, allowing her to {Jump+} across key terrain, buffers slows on you, dodge key skills like Flameshot and Moskov Ultimate, and escaping when it matters.
Mythic Tip 2: When you are trying to dodge enemy poke, it's important to {Jump+} in front (180 degrees), because the extra distance allows you to dodge better than {Jump-} backwards!
Mythic Tip 3: Before you {Pull}, change the direction Ruby is facing, that way when you {Pull} > {Jump}, you can stun, and have a {Jump+} wherever you wish to go! This takes a lot of practice, but all these small distances count, like when you're running away, or when you need that extra distance to {hook} the carry. Many of my videos showcase this!
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2 - Ruby's Farming Style {Fan} > {AA} > {Jump} > {AA} > {Pull} > {AA} > {Jump} > {AA}
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Ruby's [Melee] can happen immediately after a skill, after which, you can still {Jump+} or {Jump-}!
Ruby's melee attacks add a lot of damage, especially after [Endless Battle]. It's a good habit to always use {AA} after a skill. Ruby's [Melee] can hit multiple creeps, and makes farming both the jungle and lane a lot faster!
Also, If your timing is right, your {AA} > {Fan} or {AA} > {Pull} can happen almost instantly after the {AA} animation has been started, giving you the fastest farming speed.
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https://reddit.com/link/jek7bd/video/lbxhpw1547u51/player
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For those who are lost, [Melee] animation can be cancelled by a skill if cast before the animation finishes, speeding up your combo's and making your attacks faster!
It's good also to note that {Pull} size in the new meta is now the same size as the whole wave (From melee to tank minion, just the right fit), so you'll want to practice using {Fan} > {AA} > {Pull} > {AA} on the whole wave, speeding up your clear!
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Mythic Tip: Don't be afraid to use your {Hook} to kill the wave/jungle faster or to 1v1, Ruby's cooldowns are very short, and with 25sec on {Hook} at level 4 and 12-14sec {Hook} at level 12-15 with CDR, it's okay to use it often in lane as well as to clear minions for lifesteal, just make sure that if a fight breaks out you have it ready!
Mythic Tip 2: If you think the enemy is roaming to your lane, you want to hold on to your {Hook} and/or {Pull} when farming until you see them on your map again, this is so that you can do the {Pull} > {Jump+} Combo we talked about earlier, giving you a free escape, and also a chance for a {Hook} > {Flicker} Combo or {Hook} enemies into turret, which we will talk about later!
Mythic Tip 3: {Fan} does double dmg to those close to her, so use that as often as you can to poke both the enemy and farm minions at the same time! But remember that if you're in a rush for time, the {Fan} > {Jump+} to slow enemies and to cross terrain will do just fine.
WRITTEN FROM [04/09/20] - [20/10/20] UPDATED AS OF [20/10/20] submitted by JoelC2 to mobilelegends [link] [comments]


2020.10.20 02:06 Acrobatic-Leek-1471 Mature secret video

I just broke up with my girlfriend of 1 year due to my belief she was cheating on me.
It all started when I ghosted my girlfriend for a week because she lied to me about a pregnant scare. After a week of ignoring her I decided I was in the wrong and drove to her house on a Sunday night to express my regret and how much I loved her. When I arrived I was shocked to see a truck in the driveway that I never seen before. I asked and she said it was her new friend that lives down the road. (I've never met him before). She explained that he was just playing games with her younger brother and herself downstairs. At first I was embarrassed that she moved on that quickly then she insisted I haven't been replaced and that he is just a new friend. After talking to her family they insisted he was no harm just a neighbourhood friend.
We worked out our conflict and proceeding our relationship. I made it clear to her that I dont want him in her house and to tell me when they go for walks with the dogs. She agreed and we moved forward.
A week or two go by and I couldnt help but be curious and jealous as to why she needs to be hanging out with this guy ive never even met before. She texts me when they go for their walks and take videos of the walk. so i'm trying to be mature and trust her but deep down i think its to cover up the fact that they are up to something.
Im at work sitting in my car and can't seem to ignore the fact that my stomach has been twirling like crazy, lasting for days. I'm convinced she is cheating on me whether it be physically or emotionally. I turn into a paranoid mess. I stop eating, sleeping, living. All that is on my mind is the intense sensation that she is cheating on me.
I begin to study her. She gets a new phone, she starts wearing new clothes, starts acting emotionally detached. I bought her a dozen roses and she forgot them outside (used to be a big deal to us). One friday im so excited to see her after work and I walk in her house and the first thing she says is do you want to have a fire with her guy friend and me, i insisted i was excited to have a night with me and her and she replied "you always want it to be just me and you, you never want to hangout with friends". This is totally unacceptable to me considering she doesnt have friends and always wanted it to be me and me only.
A week goes by and i'm trying to trust her, we have sex and as soon as we finish she mumbles "i'm sorry"... I ask her why did she said that and she insist she never said anything.
So now i'm 100% convinced shes cheating and I confront to her that I feel betrayed and ask her to let me know if youre interested in someone else rather then hide it. she denied and said im acting paranoid, obsessive, possesive and crazy. She made me feel guilty for asking.
So im on the edge of breaking up with her but I give it one last shot. The night is going good im not thinking about it. Then she mentions that her guy friend texted her to look at the stars tonight. I ignored it and carried on my night. The next day I look at her phone and see that his text messages are there, but from days ago, no sign of anything to do with the stars. I confront her about it and she gets erate and says she deleted them. I asked her why swould she delete them but she had no excuse. I assume she had been talking to him through a messenger app secretly.
At that point I have become exhausted with the hunt and the games. And iI break up with her not having any physical proof.
To this day I still believe in my intuition that she had been cheating or cheated on me with this newly aqquired guy friend.
submitted by Acrobatic-Leek-1471 to CheatingGF [link] [comments]


2020.10.19 05:31 fiwifi I was naive to believed in one relationship for life and then I met SO

This happened a few years back. I just want to share this. Please, bear with me. English is not my main language.
I never had a boyfriend then I(18F) met A(28M) in an adult dating website(it was not a dating website before). Back then I was not looking for a relationship but I had friends on that website, so I didn’t delete my profile. Anyways, I like mature, older and nice men. I received a message from A, he was I thought a nice guy very mature and to my likey. He seem so interested and not into bullshit so we got along. At first A showered me lots of attention. I was getting interested too because he was a NICE guy. A then asked for selfies(I don’t really mind) then it went to, “take a picture of your (body part)” I was scared but I did it anyway and lastly to record myself masturbating. Pictures of my body part and to me masturbating were all in private and had time limits. I felt disgusted to myself, but I guess the attention driven me not to think straight. Our conversations were 70% about sex and the rest are casual how are yous and stuff. A was only interested in sexting, talking about our life is the last thing he wanted to talk about, it won’t last long. I don’t know why I stayed but it took me months and then it was an off and on relationship. I doubted him(my guts said something was wrong with my situation, I didn’t listen but it grew stronger and it driven me nuts) and the lack of time was unpleasant, it made me insane I knew that feeling, A would make excuses and I was the crazy one for begging for his time. I think he was more interested messaging other women. I once shared my problems with him but I felt he wasn’t supportive, I’m a secretive person I don’t share my problems but yeah it was ignored. So, when the time comes he accidentally talked about this woman when we were driving around then after a few months he sent me a screenshot of him having a heart to heart talk with her and they were not doing anything wrong because apparently the screenshot he sent was her having a problem with her family. I knew it was the woman he told me about. It sucks right. A was cold to me all the time but not with sexting, he was energetic and full of life when it comes to sexual stuff. I admitted I was an immature 18 years old with insecurities. Anyways, I found out he was active in a hook up site, I confronted A and then on we had a huge fight to him name calling me and I break it off. After a month I have found my now SO(27M) through a friend. He is different to A alot. SO pursued me and we hit it off. We travelled together, food trips, dates, lots of sex(SO was my first) and we have the same interest. We were all over each other and now we are a family of three. By the way SO found my search history and it was all about A’s kinks like porn videos that he wanted to do, but SO was understanding, he told me I need to have some self respect and to blocked A to all platforms because A was still messaging me so I did. I was so embarrassed I want to die of shame. Sometimes I would think to myself if I were in a relationship to A at all. My life with SO had lots of up and downs but it made us stronger. Thank you.
submitted by fiwifi to AgeGap [link] [comments]


2020.10.18 19:02 Admirable-Rain-9479 Okay...an idea for the next Avatar series...

So essentially, we pick up around 60 something years later after the events of Legend of Korra.
It’s the 80’s in Republic City, and the age of decadence and new Wall Street yuppie type wealth is here, as well as hedonistic consumerism, a vibrant club scene, gang violence and bankruptcy, a Cold War between tribes, synthesized pop music, a rural crisis, big hair, heavy drug use, walkmans, and music videos.
Basically, one of our avatars this season is an aspiring 23 year old 80’s rocker named Ryder Aran Varrick, the lead singer of Varrick’s Goons (who, somewhat like Korra, is also from the southern water tribe nation, but also has some eastern earth kingdom heritage as well). He’s a sweet but hard partying musician frat boy who still acts as though he’s in high school or college, and he really couldn’t care less about fighting and uses his bending for stage reasons, as he just wants to make music to make the world happy (and to get as many girls as he possibly can). He also happens to be part of the Varrick family, and he does possess some of his grandfather Varrick’s personality. He also, due to cultural assimilation, doesn’t really know or observe any traditions. Until he and his band mates bump into a young fire nation girl called Kuki being beat up by a group of thugs on the street after doing a gig at a bar. This awakens the avatar state in Ryder (something Ryder has never experienced before in his life) completely by accident, only to find that Kuki also has the avatar traits—though her traits were granted to her through illegal human experimentation through the mysterious top secret government operation “Project Avatar”, which looks to replicate the avatar forumula artificially in a lab, to make her a super soldieweapon, though it has made Kuki (who is a nice girl) a pretty messed up individual, and she cannot control where, when, or if she goes into the avatar state. Kuki and Ryder soon find themselves caught up in a conspiracy involving said project and come to a reckoning of the past with the present, the troubled legacy of Aang and Korra, the whole idea of being an avatar, the maturing of Ryder, nature vs. nurture, and all sorts of stuff—et cetera.
Thoughts?
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2020.10.18 14:00 HgnX Video mature secret

I play loads of Ranked. Every friend I have with a normal game not plaged with toxic 12 year olds eventually finds a way to slip something like this into conversation: “Bro, you don’t have a life. I saw you just grinded a 4700-hour week digging a tunnel under Plat to Diamond with an old xbox controller.”
They have a point. Plat sucks, and it’s certainly more mentally taxing to grind through plat than chill in a normal game with normal people. Can we agree that stress and insanity are bad things? Awesome. Welcome to Rocket League ranked.
All rocket league teams and lobbies are constructed by and of crazy people
Imagine joining a ranked team. You’re excited and full of ideas, probably just out of free play and a world of clean, beautiful plays, awe-inspiring in their aesthetic unity of purpose and strength seem to await. You start by meeting Mary, self proclaimed teamleader. Mary introduces you to Fred, after you get through the fifteen games where a random Dave instant leaves because Dave had his goal stolen off him once and Never Again. Fred only works with a Merc, so you ask why he’s involved in this team because this team is supposed to play fairly serious. Don’t worry, says Mary, Fred’s going to handle it anyways. What is wrong with the Merc? Well Fred made a good case for the Merc and it is going to add to the teams appeal. Of course, they’ll have to be outfitted without a nice decal, because there’s a strict no decal rule enforced by Phil, who’s not a player, but he is always in Discord. Nobody’s sure what Phil does, but it’s definitely full of synergy and has to do with the Youtube channel of the team, whom none of the players want to deal with so they just let Phil do what he wants. Sara, meanwhile, has found several hemorrhaging-edge backboard shooting techniques, and worked them all into the teams attack design, so you’ll have to corner around each ball one as the attacks progresses or you will get yelled at in Discord. Tom and Harry from a friendly team your team is going to scrim have been playing together for years, but have an ongoing feud over whether to use kmph or mileph goal speed measurements. This has been such a headache for the people actually playing with them, they’ve given up and just muted them completely on Discord. Also, the team was designed as a freestyler clan with previous mentioned Youtube channel totaling 12 views, but nobody actually knew how to freestyle, so they got halfway through it and then just added extra intro videos bought on Fiverr to keep the youtube thing standing, so they can still brag on school about the team and their skills. Nobody knows which rotations are used, but everybody’s pretty sure they’re important. After the introductions are made, you are invited to come up with some new rotation ideas, but you don’t have any because you’re a silver and don’t know anything about playing with rotation.
Would you play in this team? No. If it somehow got out on the field, everybody involved would be executed for destroying the lobbies. Yet some version of this dynamic made every single team you have ever played against, 2s, 3s, and a ubiquitously used limited time gamemode like spike rush that was supposed to be cool but didn’t.
Everyone is bad
Every rocket league gamer occasionally, when nobody’s home, turns off the lights, pours a glass of scotch, puts on some light German electronica, and opens up youtube on their computer. It’s a different video for every player. Sometimes they made it, sometimes they found it and knew they had to view it. They watch the plays, and weep at their beauty, then the tears turn bitter as they remember their plays and the inevitable collapse of all that is good and true in the world.
This video is Good Rocket League. It has sensible and consistent plays, purposeful and teambased. It’s concise and goal oriented. It doesn’t do anything obviously stupid. It has never had the chat on, or had to answer to a toxic quickchatter. It does exactly one specific thing, it shows good gameplay, and it does it well. It was made by a single person, and he was never bothered by another. He does not get backtackled by his own team or demolished by opponents. Defenders seem non existent. Reads seem perfect. It watches like poetry written by someone actually over 12.
Every player starts out with the feeling that they are going to do something like this. Then they’re told in quickchat that they suck, so they ballchase a bit here and there and maybe bump a few teammates in order to mentally try to stick together or they have to ask a booster to work on their account and he wintrades it up to Champ 2 and then all the ranks get dumped like a brick again when the derank begins and everyone gets toxic in the teamchat. The players plays begin to look like some inscrutable shape driven by salt and toxicity and disappointment mixed with rage and bad decisions and to save some ego he creates a compilation out of it made from 10 second highlights out of a zillion replays because nobody wants to really see the cat urine that their positioning is soaking into all their misplays and poor touches in the broad light of day. This process happens to everybody in Rocket League. Next week, everybody pisses more salt in the lobbies on it to keep their ego’s from falling over.
There’s a theory that you can cure this by having rotation, except there are more bad plays in Rocket League than there are things humans can actually do, and these good rotations and good examples of what positioning should be are all variously thought up and designed by the personal preferences of the people thinking them up, so no collection of best practices has ever made it into the real field without doing a few dozen identical things a few dozen not even remotely similar ways. The first few weeks of doing Rocket League are just figuring out how other peoples brains works in this game even if you’re familiar with the concept human brain.
There will always be darkness
I spent a few years growing up with a closet in my bedroom. The closet had an odd design. It looked normal at first, then you walked in to do closet things, and discovered that the wall on your right gave way to an alcove, making for a handy little shelf. Then you looked up, and the wall at the back of the alcove gave way again, into a crawlspace of utter nothingness, where no light could fall and which you immediately identified as the daytime retreat for every ravenous monster you kept at bay with flashlights and stuffed animals each night.
This is what it is to learn to play Rocket League. You get to know some useful skills, like powershoot the ball and you are happy. Then you look around, and there are some more new skills nearby and those skills show you the bottomless horror that was always right next to you happening on the field.
For example, say you’re an average diamond 3 player. You’re familiar with a dozen skills, like airials, ceiling shots, flicks, halfflips, what have you. You still have to learn more skills at the rate of about one a week to ever keep up with the meta, and remember to check the of skills you know to see if they’ve been not forgotten. You’re all up to date, so that’s cool, then everything you enter a lobby. You believe you can make Champ 1.
“Double you tee eff?” you say, and start hunting for the problem on the field. You discover that, some idiot decided that since another idiot decided that he should own goal, they could just throw the whole game. You derank. Then a new non-idiot rightly decided that this was idiotic, which is what the original idiot should have decided, but since he didn’t, the non-idiot decided to be a dick and make this a complete news bulletin in the quickchat pointing out the childishnes of the idiot. Then he decided he was going to tell Psyonix that this was an unsportmanship behavior, he reports them because he’s a dick, and now all teammates are banned and you can’t even find the cat.
After 4700 hours you are an expert in Rocket League disappointment, and that’s a good thing, because that expertise let you spend only six hours ranting on reddit, as opposed to losing your entire Diamond rank. You now have one extra little shit experience to tuck away in the millions of little shit experience you will memorize because so many of the mates and plays you depend on are executed by dicks and idiots.
And that’s just in your own rank and skillset, which represents such a tiny fraction of all the ranks and skills there are to know and adapt to in Rocket League you might as well never have learned anything at all.
A lot of work is done on the servers and the servers are its own special hellscape
Remember that stuff about crazy teammates and bad plays? The Psyonix Servers are that except it’s literally a billion times worse. Psyonix Servers are glorified IKEA boxes with maybe three threads actually errorless running and they are maintained by teams of people around the clock, because the truth is everything is breaking all the time, everywhere, for everyone. Right now someone who works for Psyonix is getting tens of thousands of error messages and frantically trying to find the problem before the whole charade collapses. There’s a team at the Epic office that hasn’t slept in three days. Somewhere there’s an item database programmer surrounded by empty Mountain Dew bottles whose husband thinks she’s dead. And if these people stop, the Rocket League world burns. And that is for all servers. If they all took a lunch break at the same time you wouldn’t make it to the deli before you ran out of bullets protecting your canned goods from roving bands of mutants.
You can’t restart their servers. Thousands of idiot players and some really big tournaments depend on this rickety cobweb of unofficial cloudbased micro VMs posing as mature game servers and “good enough for now” code with comments like “TODO: FIX THIS IT’S A REALLY DANGEROUS HACK BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG” that were written ten years ago in SARP Battle Cars. I haven’t even mentioned the legions of people DDOSsing various parts of the Psyonix servers because they’re bored. Ever heard of 4chan? 4chan might destroy Psyonix because they decided they didn’t like them for an afternoon, and we don’t even worry about 4chan because another nuke doesn’t make that much difference in a nuclear winter.
In the Psyonix HQ it’s okay to say, “You know, this kind of works some of the time” and BAM! it’s part of the Rocket League game now. Anybody with a couple of hundred dollars and a Steam account can snag a little bit their items and put up whatever awful ugly car design they want and then attach their little bit to the Psyonix database and everything gets a little bit slower and worse. Even the good players don’t bother to find normal servers anymore so everybody spends half their time coping with the fact that nothing matches anything or makes any sense and might break at any time and most the games made are half empty and prefilled with terrible bots that miss the ball more than detect it.
Here are the secret rules of Rocket League: five minutes after you open a match for the first time, a kid in Russia owngoals in your net. Did you sign up for a tournament? Your game will corrupt. Sent an email to Psyonix support? Their systems are so broken your email address just went up on a billboard in Nigeria.
These things aren’t true because we don’t care and don’t try to stop them, they’re true because everything is broken since EPIC just wants to sell items and because there are no good players and everybody’s just trying to ballchase and save their egos. That’s your fate when you play Rocket League: hoping the last play you did is good enough to have a good feeling for a little bit before you derank back into Gold.
Wrap up
Do you want to live in a world like this? No. This is a world of where you can smoke a pack of crack a day and nobody even questions it. "Of course he smokes a pack a day, who wouldn't? He plays Rocket League." Eventually every Rocket League gamer wakes up and before they're fully conscious they see their whole world and every relationship in it as ranks, and they trade stories about it as if sleepiness triggering acid trips is a normal thing that happens to people. This is a world where people eschew sex to try and gain Champ 1. All Rocket League gamers are forcing their brains to do things brains were never meant to do in a situation they can never make better, ten to fifteen hours a day, five to seven days a week, and every one of them is slowly going mad. Humans are not made to consistently quickly predict total idiocy in a soccer game.
So yea. Play unranked so there is less care. Save your soul. Or go to Fortnite. Your mom is right, your dad is right, your friend is right. Do not buy that Crimson Meteor Storm with your Dads creditcard. This game should be 18+ like the heroin it is.
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2020.10.14 11:38 ultimatemanproject Mature secret video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mpnewDAuhw&fbclid=IwAR0266V4IEmhAtowohppkHJLRCxuTRQfwzUY7BChnzhdkOtiCEyxG8t4bAQ
What’s up guys!
This week we are going to take a look into the controversial book ‘The Rational male, which was written in 2013 by Rollo Tomasi
Rollo’s aim of the books seems to be to educate the average guy about the female influence on the world and the way it relates to men, the sexual potential, options, dating strategies, and relationships. It dives into the unrealistic fantasies and expectations men find themselves in when it comes to relationships with women.
I think this book has a lot of solid information that can help men better see the world with more clarity, however, it has a significant overtone of us vs. them. It can come off as a little butthurt and a lot of people I have seen that have read and strongly taken to this book have mostly developed these women-hating beliefs, that is the opposite to the growth mindset that is needed to develop healthy relationships with women,
“My intent with all this is to illustrate how the reality in which we find things ‘normal’ is rendered by fem-centric influence. Across ethnicities, and encompassing all manner of social diversity, this influence is so saturated into our culture, laws, media, entertainment, from our collective social consciousness to our individual psyches that we simply take it for granted as the operative framework in which we live. I realize this is a tough pill to swallow because the male imperative does in fact intersect with the female imperative depending on mutual goals. However, the point is that of the operative framework, the reality we function in is primarily defined by the feminine.”
Let's look at some of the main topics discussed in the book and then I will give you my overall review at the end.
Oneitis Rollo states that there is no “one” girl for you. That there are many women that will be suited and compatible and many that won't, but not one magical girl meant just for you. He states that this thinking helps you rationalize your need and desire for a single girl.
But oneitis, or that unhealthy obsession and need for the one girl is not simply caused by the belief of there being one girl out there for you. It is a lot more complicated than that
It’s usually generated by a fear of loss, by unrealistic future projections, lack of options or a lack of confidence in your belief in finding other women
I don't think that believing in one is the root cause of oneitis. Even with guys that want to be, or are with multiple women still get incredibly needy. Even most “coaches” I see have this same issue. It is rooted in a deeper sense of insecurity, fear of loss, and validation. It’s not as simple as acknowledging there isn't just one perfect girl out there for you. It’s a good start, but deeper work into neediness is necessary to get over oneitis behaviors.
‘ONE’itis is an unhealthy romantic obsession with a single person. Usually accompanied by unreciprocated affection and completely unrealistic idealization of the said person… ONEitis is an unhealthy psychological dependency that is the direct result of the continuous socialization of the soulmate myth in pop culture.
Game Rollo discusses the ability to modify our behavior and life skills based on psychological and sociological principles in order to create attraction amongst girls.
Guys can either decide to better themselves or blame circumstances outside of their control like height and race and fall into a victim mindset. Instead, take the growth mindset path, understand you can better yourself and your lifestyle, and focus on the things you can change.
Of course, we completely agree with this. He also mentions that for most guys simply being more of a ‘jerk’ or disagreeable will separate you from the majority of nice guys and lead to attraction. Most guys want to win people over by agreeing and trying to be similar to the girl, but that familiarity only creates comfort and trust, but not attraction.
At its root level Game is a series of behavioral modifications to life skills based on psychological and sociological principles to facilitate intersexual relations between genders.
You are who you believe you are, and you are who she perceives you to be.
We can alter our own personalities and have them altered by our conditions or any combination of the two, but to suggest that personality is static is a falsehood.
“The guy who leans even marginally to the Jerk side of the spectrum becomes at least notable, and at best attractive, simply by dissociation from the masses of nice guys.
It’s far easier to believe that the world should change for you to accept the truth that you need to improve yourself to get the things you want. It’s the lazy man’s path to disqualify or cheapen things that he desperately wants, but lacks the motivation to change himself to get.
Beta men fail to understand that opposites attract, and barring the notable exceptions, most women don’t want to marry other women, least of all a carbon copy of themselves.
Betas tend to stick with what worked for them, which was reinforced for them, in the past.
Comfort and trust are post-orgasm conditions; anxiety, arousal, and sexual urgency are pre-orgasm conditions — and both have their own unique hormonal signatures.”
He describes Comfort and trust as post-orgasm conditions; anxiety, arousal, and sexual urgency are pre-orgasm conditions — and both have their own unique hormonal signatures.
“There are those who seek power by changing the game – by lowering the basketball hoops in order to better shoot a basket – but ‘in leveling the playing field’ they only succeed in changing the nature of the composition to better suit their individual abilities, neither improving the game nor themselves. The temporary change of rules only serves their inadequacies in that game.
Then some accept the game for what it is, they understand it and they master it (or at least attempt to do so). They understand the need for adversity and the benefits it gives them when they reach the next level of mastering the game – not only in technique but from the confidence this genuinely and verifiably confers. Don’t wish things were easier, wish you were better.”
Women never want full disclosure. Nothing is more self-satisfying for a woman than to think she’s figured a Man out based solely on her mythical feminine intuition (i.e. imagination). -
I couldn't agree more. Guys think that creating a connection and bond with a girl is about telling her every little thing about you good and bad and learning the same about her. I’m sorry, but this isn't a movie or a best friend. She wants mystery and mystique, she wants to feel her heart race, she wants to be excited and inspired. Not find out a bunch of data points about you. This is hard for some guys to hear since most guys in the game are very methodical and like to focus on data points. The simple fact is, you bore the girl and give off friendzone submissive vibes when you only focus on that.
Friendzone Refusing the “LJBF” “Women have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you’re not fucking her, you’re her girlfriend.
A man’s default response should always be to excuse him from the LJBF(let’s just be friends) situation.
LDR(long-distance relationship)s are not relationships. Guys cling to LDRs because they’ve yet to learn that Rejection is better than Regret. The Savior Schema — the Beta male expectations of reciprocation of intimacy(usually sexual) for female problems solved.
Man and women cannot be friends in the way or to the degree that most people perceive same-sex friendship to be. Part of being Alpha is your facility with male interactions. If all your friends are women this calls your Alpha cred into question from a woman.”
Rollo talks a lot about not being in the friend frame. I agree you should be friends under your conditions, not under a premise that you wanted to fuck her and she rejected you. There is nothing more brutal than hearing a girl talk about her pathetic friend zone guys. How she has no respect for them at all in the way they try to get her attraction by following her every command. If you want to see how to turn around the friend zone, David did a 6-month friend zone experiment and you can see it in the links below
Sexual Market Value He does a good job at explaining this topic;
He speaks about what makes women and men attractive to the opposite sex.
Men’s value is more based on their status while women are more based on their looks.
Women reach their peak at around 23 years old when men are just starting their ascension, peaking at 36.
“At age 23, while a girl is enjoying her prime value, a man is just beginning to make his own gradual ascent. By age 36, the average man has reached his own relative apex. It’s at this phase that his sexual/social/professional appeal has reached maturity.”
Plate Theory: Date Several Women This is the most important message guys can get from the book. He encourages remaining in open casual relationships and seeing multiple women in order to gain experience, become less needy, and understand your own value.
It allows you to better discover what girls are your type, which ones are valuable to you and how to handle power dynamics in a relationship
“It also allows for better, learned awareness of which choice amongst the pool is common and which is of higher quality.”
Rollo goes on to deal with the common misunderstanding guys have when seeing multiple women. Those girls would prefer a successful man that wanted something open than a needy, relationship guy.
“Women would rather share a successful man than be saddled with a faithful loser, perfectly sums up Plate Theory vs. Monogamy-As-Goal mindsets.”
– p. 53
Also, seeing multiple women does not have to be a lot of work. That men have anxiety they have to give constant attention and constantly show interest otherwise they will lose the girl. Of course, this is not true, that lack of constant validation will appear to the girl as value and understand that you have other things going on in your life, it will give her the own anxiety of loss and will cause her chase.
However, the term spinning plates is a little off. I don't like the imagery of the girls I'm seeing as plates and the difficulty and stress in spinning plates send the wrong message.
– p. 58
T a
“Women would rather share a successful man than be saddled with a faithful loser”
Relationship management Tomassi says you should never say it outright that you are seeing other women.
You should make it clear though if you’re not ready for commitment or you are stealing her time and lying to get pussy is what low-quality men do.
Tomassi recommends:

I agree that lying to get pussy is not only what low-quality men do, but its also extremely stressful and usually comes with a lot of drama, there's really no need for it
You need to be able to communicate your intentions both verbally and through your behaviors. I often talk about other girls I’m seeing or my past open relationships. It is a balance and will be different for each girl. It will come with practice and experience, most guys will fall on the side of not communicating it enough as they fear that if the girl thinks you are seeing other women are not 100 percent committed that you might lose her, or the girl might not be so committed back. They are worried that setting a non-exclusive frame might result in losing the girl.
They rationalize to themselves that because they mentioned 1 time they aren't after a serious relationship or because they wait before replying or that they don't see her on weekends, that she will know your intentions are clear and you don’t want something serious.
Most guys hearing this advice from the book about not saying it outright will fall into leading girls on and have them asking “what is this?” very early with complicated drama. If you communicate it fully through your actions and words, the girl will fall into your frame and it will be a lot less complicated.
“Women communicate covertly, with a gesture, with looks, with veiled meanings — you have to communicate your intent to be non-exclusive covertly. Never overly tell a woman you’ve got other plates than her spinning. Allow her to discover this by your mannerisms, your behaviors, and definitely by your availability to her.”
Power Dynamics in The Relationships The Rational Male makes the point that whether or not you want to see relationships through the lenses of power dynamics or not, it doesn’t matter: the power dynamics will be at play anyway.
This is very true, many guys get good with women but then have no idea how to manage a relationship. They think the “hard work” is done. They stop putting in effort into the relationship and quickly find themselves in a position of fear. Games, frames, and power dynamics will always be at play. They don't disappear because you get into a relationship[, or you have an agreement, or you love each other. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging this. I find once you do, it allows you to continue to put effort into the relationship, you don't get lazy - you ensure whatever created that attraction and connection with the girl doesn’t dissipate because you get comfortable.
“In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least. This is a foundation of any relationship, not just intersexual ones, but family, business, etc. relationships as well. It is a dynamic that is always in effect…. Whether you want to base your [intersexual] relationship on ‘power’ or not isn’t the issue; it’s already in play from your first point of attraction. You are acceptable to her for meeting any number of criteria, and she meets your own as well.”
– p. 7
He states that “The person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least. This is a foundation of any relationship, not just intersexual ones, but family, business, etc.”
Again this is true but it goes deeper than this. I would not focus on needing her less. I think a lot of guys hear this and they basically pull away. I would focus on creating a dynamic where you don't need her at all but you want to spend time with her. And then focus on creating enough value and space that she wants the same, and is able to chase. Simply saying “I don't need her” and ignoring her needs will not work unless you continue to focus on building, value, attraction, and strong emotional experience.
Unplugging & Taking The Red Pill In reference to the matrix, unplugging and taking the red pill is about breaking through certain beliefs that are developed through childhood, our culture, religion, etc and seeing the world through a new lens.
📷
The biggest message about unplugging or taking the red pill is understanding that you can grow and improve who you are as a person which will result in developing more attraction from women. a large part of this process is not trying to be like a girl.
Don't Be A Girl “Far too many men maintain the notion that for them to receive the female intimacy they desire, they should become more like the target of their affection in their own personality. In essence, to mold their own identity to better match the girl they think will best satisfy this need. So we see examples of men compromising their self-interests to better accommodate the interests of the woman they desire to facilitate this need for intimacy (i.e., sex).” – p. 86
Tomossa highlights that you shouldn't try to mold yourself to be more like the girl in order to get her interest. Trying to facilitate commonalities is usually counterproductive in building attraction.
Don’t Just Be Yourself: Grow He addresses that you can't just “be yourself” and that you must grow and develop in order to become more attractive and have the lifestyle you want. He also talks about the importance of looks which some “game” guys will disagree with. But, it's just common sense, looks are going to increase your desirability, get a haircut and go to the gym
I notice men, even in our free group stop themselves from improving with this poor mindset, it is often nurtured by girls that say “ you should just be yourself.” instead adopt a growth mindset and learn to grow in yourself to become a better person.
“Changing yourself takes effort. The greatest obstacle in change is the first one; recognizing and accepting that you need to change. This is where AFCs [average frustrated chumps] and Beta males chomp at the bit because they’ve been told for the better part of a lifetime to ‘just be themselves’ and everything will go according to fate’s plan.
Then, for whatever reason, they unplug from the Matrix enough to realize that they’ve been sold a bill of goods and that personal change is necessary for them. They need to change their lifestyle, change their attitudes, change their outlook, change their mind about themselves and yes, change their physiques too.
But change takes effort and people are lazy. They want the quick fix; the magic pill that makes them happy, successful, and sexually irresistible. So they flock to guys selling the best program that promises all that for a minimum of effort. Learning Game demands practiced effort, but it requires far less physical effort than improving one’s body, and it’s especially daunting for guys unaccustomed to working out. It takes time, energy, and dedication all commensurate with how out of shape that guy is, to begin with.”
– p. 251
Dealing with The Non-Believers Tomassi explains how when you try to grow and develop as a person, this change will create self-doubt and fear in those around you. It’s important to recognize this and take the resistance of others to change, especially your friends with a grain of salt and decide to change anyway
“When you alter yourself or have your personality altered by an outside force, this is a threat to that predictability, so the logical counter is for others to attempt to put us back into our places.
t
Stages of Unplugging He then goes through the stages of unplugging
#1. DenialStill Plugged-In: This is the AFC who’s read books such as this one and still thinks something along these lines: “These game guys are a bunch of clowns, there’s no way this works on women. Women aren’t stupid. What a bunch of misogynists.”
This is how your friends react when they hear about your journey “ this is bs” “it’s creepy” “why do you need to learn to talk to women”
#2. Anger – Post-Red Pill Awareness: “This is ridiculous!” – you think at this stage. “I just want to be myself, and these game guys want me to become a beast. Why wasn’t I born a Natural Alpha? I blame my parents/siblings/teachers/God/liberals/feminists/media/society…”
I see this after guys go out for one night or are frustrated with a lack of results. It’s the victim mentality - they start to blame their race, height, or women themselves
#3. Bargaining – Unplugged: “Well maybe it does have some good points… but, forget the hot girls, they’re way outta my league. I’ll give it a try if it can help me get around the bases with a Plain Jane. Do I have to wear a fuzzy hat and black nail polish?”
Accepting some beliefs.
#4. Depression – Bitter Taste of the Red Pill: “Wow, women really respond to this puffed-up act? And I just joined up for this? The world is sad, and so am I…”
You may become accepting but under a negative mindset. Looking at human interactions and behaviors as pathetic and a bunch of games and wish it was easier.
#5. Acceptance – Game Awareness: “Maybe this is the way things really work. I guess I should give up the gender relations mythology I’ve been holding onto… hey, what do you think of these negs I came up with?”
Full acceptance about our own bias’, the way genders interact, and the way we perceive the value of others.
I rarely see any guys in acceptance, I even feel there is some slight jadedness in some of this book. But it's up to you to look critically at our beliefs and mindsets, see if they are beneficial to our life or not, and make a change
According to Tomassi, there’s also the sixth stage – Jaded – MGTOW (Men Go Their Own Way) Permutations – when men start preferring video games and porn to game rules.
#6. Jaded* – MGTOW Permutations: “Fuck learning all these rules. Sex isn’t worth it and women aren’t that fun anyway. The last thing I want to do is learn routines or the 5 stages of pickup. There are too many websites, too much to read, I can’t remember it all much less sort it all out. Who has all that time to go out and chat up women anyway? It’s not like I see any women under 40 at work at my engineering job to practice on. Video games and porn are more fun and more available. I just half look good and let the women come to me”
This is a bunch of guys that hate women so much and are so jaded they would prefer to circle jerk each other.
Shit Tests Women are attracted to our behaviors. They must test this to see if it is deep-seated or a facade. Rolo describes it as testing confidence, your options, and security.
“Essentially, a shit test is used by women to determine one, or a combination of these factors:
– p. 275
“Woman’s shit testing is a psychologically evolved, hard-wired survival mechanism…. Men want to verify sexual availability to the same degree women want to verify a masculine dominance/confidence.”
– p. 275
This is not just female-specific however, men shit test men in order to identify ranks in social hierarchies.
Sexual pluralism Rollo states that women fall into a short term mating strategy looking for alpha when they are younger and at their prime and competitive in the sexual market. But when they become older and less competitive they take up a longer-term mating strategy that looks for security and comfort. There is some biological evidence to support this. Some studies looking at hormonal influence on girls attracted to more dominant men during their more fertile stages of life or menstrual cycle.
However, information like this is always looked at as black and white. And men think that they must turn into a beta provider role nice guy for older women. It’s simply not the case, as stated earlier in the book - women will prefer to be with an alpha that is with other women than a loser that just wants her. Added to just biological influence there are also social and life choices that come into play. But even when a woman is older, and wanting to settle down - IF you don't want that, if you want something more casual then don't feel like you have to change the way you portray yourself. Strong alpha, dominant and sexual values will always prevail. If you can be that guy she will still choose to sleep with you. She can still be looking for someone to marry while meeting up with you in the same week.
“Over the course of a woman’s life, the priorities and criteria she holds for a ‘suitable’ mate fluctuate in response to the conditions she finds herself in. The criterion for short-term coupling is much easier to demand when a woman is in her peak fertility phase of life, and thus places these prerequisites above what she would find more desirable for a long-term pairing. The extrinsic male-characteristic prerequisites for short-term sexual strategy (hot, quick Alpha sex) preempts the long-term qualifications for as long as she’s sexually viable enough to attract men.
Thus it follows that as a woman exceeds or is outclassed of her previous [Sexual Market Value], her priorities then shift to an attraction for more intrinsic male qualities. For the short-term strategy, quick impulsivity and gratifying sensation take precedent. For the long-term strategy, slow discernment, prudence, familiarity, and comfort satisfy a desire for security as she exits the competitive stage of the [Sexual Market Place].”
– p. 188
The Alpha Buddha https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=218&v=968yNvFiVH0&feature=emb_title and this goes on to what is actually an alpha
Rollo describes cory as an example of alpha male behavior
The guy is hilarious but he is also extremely immature and although he holds his frame during the interview he does not exert himself and comes off as a bit childish and patronized.
Alpha is not just someone who doesn't give a fuck. I did a Livestream on the dominance that you can see in the main group that points out what attributes an alpha has
Feminine Imperative
For one gender to realize their sexual imperative the other must sacrifice their own. This is the root source of power the feminine imperative uses to establish its own reality as the normative one.
Nothing is more threatening yet simultaneously attractive to a woman than a man who is aware of his own value to women.
Women don’t want a man to cheat, but they love a Man who could cheat.
“Feminine imperative running the world”
He suggests that women are pushing an imperative so that the world, and especially dating rules and protocols better suit their gender.
Sure a lot of our society and some legal systems benefit women
But to suggest that the feminine imperative is running the world is just as silly to suggest there is a patriarchy running the world.
Our world is has a complex set of cultures, beliefs and hierarchies that are not simply run by women
Yes I agree some things go too far. that Dildos are empowering and healthy; sex dolls are sexist and creepy. Family courts tend to greatly support women over men in terms of custody and splitting wealth.
But to somehow suggest that it is ONLY women taking over and pushing their way and somehow as men we are surporessed is total bs. For the most part women are much more shamed than men sexually. It would be more looked down upon if a girl had a dildo than a man having a porn collection or a girl sleeping with a 100 guys vs. a girl.
The one large problem I have with the book is around this topic, it creates a very us vs. them mentality.
t
The book goes on to incorrectly assert that monogamy is also a tool used by women to push their imperative.
That’s not true, monogamy can serve an individual interest, but it does not serve any gender interest at large.
A high-status man suffers with monogamy because he could more easily get more women. But a high-status woman gains from monogamy because a high-status male will be under pressure to commit to her.
And a lower status male gains with monogamy because the cultural expectation helps him get a woman (see Kanazawa, 2007).
Hypergamy Hypergamy has become a big topic and one I might fully address is another video.it essentially means to marry up or to go for someone with a higher level of attractiveness than yourself.
In this book I see it is used to push the idea that women have some secret uncontrollable urge and agenda to cheat on you with the next high status guy that comes along. The truth of the matter is we are all hypergamous. Women and men are looking for someone higher on that hierarchy. But there are so many other factors at play. Total investment in that relationship, fear of loss, overprotective behaviours and resentfulness, and an understanding of our own perceived value. It’s common sense that we want better, but it's also common sense we are not going to go after the next thing that pops up in front of us. So stop stressing and using hypergamy as a tool to be jaded about women
“Evolution has prepared her socially and psychologically for his sacrifice, and readies her to move to a better provision should one present itself in her surroundings. Likewise, men putting themselves in harms way is rooted in our competing for resources -- — in this case breeding rights.”
#1 Frame is everything I completely agree with this, back to the old point about managing relationships. It’s not just about controlling the frame, but holding the right frame. Don't think about it as you vs. her, but about cultivating a healthy relationship by managing the right frame for it.
“Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of who’s frame in which you are operating. Always control the frame, but resist giving the impression that you are.”
– p. 209
“It is always time and effort better spent developing relations with new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship.”
– p. 228
#2 Never share your sexual partner’s count 2. Never, under pain of death, honestly or dishonestly reveal the number of women you’ve slept with or explain any detail of your sexual experiences with them to a current lover.
This is ridiculous, Tomassi only has a count of 40. If we assume this is not inflated which most men do, that is still very low! Alex had slept with 3x that just last year. This is not about bragging but about experience. When women ask i tell them honestly.” I dont count but its in the hundreds”. Im not ashamed. I hold my frame. This sets up a really good dynamic and acts as a way to build the competition anxiety and preselection that he spoke about in the ‘spinning plates’ section. This was my fear earlier on, it seems that rollo has somewhat hidden his other relationships. Of course if you have a horrible frame and tell a girl you've been with a lot of women, she may look at you as ‘easy’ or a sleaze or a desperate guy that gets with any woman. But if you hold your frame and convey that you have had a lot of experience it drastically increases attraction and sets the right frame. The only time I would avoid this question is if you have had very little experience.
# a “Any woman who makes you wait for sex, is not worth it.”
This again is something I disagree with. In very concervative countries, girls are going to feel shame around sex and every single one is going to “make you wait” unless you have met a very down and sexually open girl, she is going to make you wait as a default. It is your job to build enough value, create an open minded frame and deal with her limiting beliefs so that she chooses not to wait, don’t just get butthurt and next her.
#4 Don’t ever live with a woman you’re not marrying I’m a bit indifferent here. He is right once you move in with someone the dynamics change. You are now exclusive and you lose somewhat of an ability to have emotional jealousy spike the relationship. But i think it's a good idea to test out living with each other under this more stressful and changed dynamic before you decide to marry someone
#5 Never allow a woman to be in control of birth control So he took this a bit far. Insinuating that a huge amount of men are raising kids that aren't their own. This is complete BS, it's like less than 1 percent in usa. He also cited a story of women stealing condoms from NBA players and trying to impregnate themselves. You are not a multi millionaire NBA star, I doubt women are going to be stealing your condoms from the trash and trying to impregnate themselves. But yes, you shouldn't rely on girls being on the pill or having protection. If you don't want a baby then wear a condom. Regardless of birth control, you want to prevent STDs, so yes always wear a condom guys.
#6 Women are incapable of loving a man the way he expects to What does this even mean? How does a man want to be loved? Why are women incapable? I think what he means is that some men expect unconditional love from a women, and that is a flawed idea
#7 Develop new relationships: don’t fix broken ones Your time and effort are better spent looking for new ones than fixing the unfixable.
I agree, too many guys meet one girl, fall in love with her and spend the next few years being unhappy trying to “fix” and “change” the girl to the one they magically imagined she would be when they first met. Instead, go out and meet multiple girls with a stable and rational mind and choose the one that best suits what you are looking for.
#8 Never help a woman figure out why she won’t f*ck you He says here that women designed the idea of leagues, and a lot of men fall into place not going for a hot girl thinking he is out of her league. Although i disagree that women designed leagues - i think a lot of women also don't feel entitled to certain men, i agree with the message. Don't reject yourself because you don't think you are good enough. Instead work to recognize the value you have, improve on it and use it to go for the women you want.
#9 Never self-deprecate Don’t self-deprecate or try to appeal to her sympathy or sense of guilt.
I agree. Don't be that white knight that tries to win her over by being nice, or DLV yourself. . The rule never self deprecating might get the attention of a few guys since its a gaming strategy in order to deal with shit tests. It's also okay to self deprecate a little if the girl finds you too good to be true or unattainable, but you will only fall into this concern when you get good at showing you value and preselection.
Women ask for Mr. Dependable but fuck Mr. Exciting
Criticism Generalizing on “Women Nature” Women are generalised as very much the same, all driven by their biology the exact same way. All playing games and all looking for an alpha to inseminate them and a beta to take care of them. Which is simply not true, women are more diverse than that and have more influences on their behaviour than simply biology.
Gender Wars
He puts a message that for one gender to win the other must lose.
There can be a win- win is romantic and sexual relationships. You can love women and not be blinded. You can enjoy your relationships while being aware and not jaded.
False criticism of women He suggest women push the “looks dont matter” so that they can have sex with alphas but still rely on the resources of less attractive guys. Women likely say this to not feel judged by looks, they would surely benefit if all men worked to look better.
“Game was a wondrous tool set of skills, but without the insight or foresight to deal with what these tools could build, it was potentially like giving children dynamite.”
The Rational Male paints women as machiavellian and conniving, and as if men couldn’t be the same.Since we live in a feminine defined reality, women’s game is not considered subterfuge, it’s simply how women are, or the feminine mystique
Or
Women are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved by a woman. (…) Men believe that love matters for the sake of it. Women love opportunistically.
Gender Wars Can Lead to Anger & Bitterness The whole theme seems to be one of men VS women and their feminine society.Rollo says that “men who pass shit-tests are those who see the sexes as complementary and not as an adversary“.
I couldn’t agree more, but the book doesn’t seem to go along with that.
Women are framed as manipulative and out to take advantage of men, going for whatever opportunity best suits them at the time.
Editing It’s obvious that this was a collection of posts that were brought together in a book. It could have been briefer and better structured since a lot of concepts were repeated, and some concepts not related to the chapter
Personal experience I find it a little odd or hypocritical that Rollo has only been with 40 women and married in his late 20’s or early thirties. He seems very intelligent and versed in a lot or areas of relationship dynamics. But topics around creating open relationships I noticed the book promoting strategies that I used to implement when I was in my first few years of casual relationships. Strategies like not mentioning other girls, hiding how many women you have been with, and the true nature of the relationship is poorly explained and comes from a lack of experience in the area.
PROS Open relationships Can be eye opening to guys new to game that are understanding the nature or non exclusive relationships.
Good Analysis of SMV Good analysis of what women and men typically find attractive in the other sex.
Explanation of Radical Feminism He does well at explaining the hypocritical nature of radical feminism
The characteristics that define masculinity (..) are now the aspirations of women to the point that ridicule of the feminine female is the order. In expecting women to be just as masculine as men, while simultaneously expecting them to still embody a feminine ideal, not only does this put undue, unrealistic ideals upon them, but also devalues the merits of their own femininity.
FINAL VERDICT I highly recommend this book. It’s great for guys that are new to the game or are coming from the thoughts and beliefs women are delicate angels that you can only get by getting on your knees and whimpering to their every request, trying to get to know them and artificially showing how much you have in common. It also describes the nature of SMV, and explores the concept of non exclusivity well.
The concern I have is the potential to read this book and see women as the enemy. Look at them as a manipulative group trying to take over the world, steal your cum, cheat on you with the next higher value guy that walks along. It’s a dangerous and sad mindset to fall into. I was pleasantly surprised when reading this book. I thought it was going to be a lot more women hating than it was. From watching interviews with Rollo I don't actually think he is resentful or jaded when it comes to women. IT actually comes across as very logical and matter of fact. The issue with this is that you need to be able to express yourself emotionally with women to have fulfilling, happy and loving interactions or relationships. My fear is when men read this book they will take some of the overblown concepts like hypergamy and make the wrong assumptions.Check out this book with a cautious mind, I’ll put links in the description. BE nice, Peace!
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2020.10.14 01:28 Legitimate_Doughnut4 Mature secret video

Hi, I’m just looking for any opinions on whether my ex was a narcissist or not.
Okay I’ll give you guys the story but my apologies it might be long.
We met online through a video game 3yrs ago. I was 18 at the time and she was 30. Huge age gap but for me it wasn’t an issue.
We spoke daily and developed a connection pretty fast. 2 months into it she told me she loved me which was a huge surprise but I definitely cared for her and had nothing to lose by seeing where things went.
After 6 months we finally met. The connection we felt online translated into real life too. She was honestly as charismatic, beautiful and funny in real life too.
We continued to meet every month for the next 2yrs. We would argue a LOT over messages about trivial things, I remember all my friends at the time were telling me it wasn’t normal and that she was needy but I saw it as she cared a lot.
I wish I could describe how thoughtful and romantic she was. I’ve never met anyone who came even close to her. She would send me gifts, write sweet messages, she was perfect to me. She would play the victim card a lot but I thought it was her own quirk. She was really jealous also, I think it was somewhat justified though as I was 18yrs old and playing video games when I could of been talking with her.
We had many memories together, she’s originally from Nepal so she had never celebrated Christmas but in 2018 we did that together. Everything seemed perfect.
There were a few times when she had done something which was obviously not okay but she never admitted fault. She would apologise for hurting me but then justify her actions. I’ve read that a narcissist wouldn’t ever apologise so I’m not sure?
14 months ago we both had a shit experience.. I lost my 18yr old dog in a traumatic way and she was arrested and put into an immigration detention facility.
She had told me before that when she came over here to work her papers were lost and she has been trying for years to get it sorted. I don’t know if this is true or not but surely papers can’t be that hard to find? After everything I wonder if she just wanted me for a visa but she never brought it up and surely an 18yr old guy studying isn’t the best option lol.
14 months ago she changed entirely. She was distant, not affectionate, she wasn’t down to meet, she told me she was depressed. When I asked for a little more effort she called me selfish. She downplayed whatever achievements/goals I had reached. She was hot and cold. I second guessed everything I did which involved her. I was blinded by love.
I spent a year trying to improve her quality of life. I sent her plenty of gifts, ordered her food, sent sweet messages, had plans for us to move in together etc. She told me she wanted the relationship but she had lost herself. This broke me as she had been perfect and then suddenly she was someone else. I gave her a lot of space and basically just tried to be supportive. I was still grieving for my dog but she was more important than the grief.
I found out a month ago that she had been cheating for a year behind my back.
She wasn’t this depressed lady who had lost herself. All my doubts and gut feelings were true.
6 weeks ago she was really affectionate for a day, she made time to call and ask about my day, she told me she loved me and that she was excited for when we finally meet again. The day after i woke up to a message from her asking for a 2 grand loan. I didn’t have the money readily available but her response after I told her I couldn’t broke my heart. She told me that it’s okay but she feels alone and is tired of doing everything solo and became distant again. I sent her £1200 as that is all I could afford. She was thankful.
Anyway I found out about her secret love life by messaging the dude I had a gut feeling about. He had no idea I even existed. She messaged me and said I have ruined her life and that now she will be the hot topic in her friendship group. She insulted me and spoke about a deep insecurity I have.
She then spent the next 30 minutes online trying to rekindle her relationship with him. I just found out she had been cheating for an entire year, the lies, gaslighting, etc and she couldn’t even be bothered to talk to me. All she said really was “fuck you” and that she felt relieved.
She even had the audacity to tell me about him.. she said he is mature and controlling and she thinks that’s why her previous relationships didn’t work out. 24hrs before that she was telling me she loved me and we were making plans to meet and now she’s referring to me as ex bfs. It’s mind blowing how she doesn’t understand how heartbroken finding this out made me. She even told me “you don’t have the right to claim me”.. I would never ever try or want to do that.
The past year she 100% manipulated me but I don’t understand why she would keep me here knowing she loves someone else. I was unhappy but madly in love and I thought her actions were because she felt like shit not because of someone else. I told her many times that I couldn’t do it any longer but she would guilt trip me into feeling like I’m weak for not understanding her lack of effort.
I’ve blocked her and I won’t message again. My question is this, how can she be so loving, understanding and honestly perfect and then be so manipulative and make it seem like it’s second nature?
Is she a narcissist? Did she keep me in her life for an ego boost? Did she just fall out of love and didn’t know what else to do other than manipulate?
It’s hard to accept, she was perfect and then to find out everything and still she spoke about herself. What hurts me the most is the lack of a sincere apology. We spent so much time together and for her to just not care is too much.
I am sorry if it seems like I’m just complaining, I’m sure you guys have experienced way worse I just don’t know whether she was narcissistic or just selfish or I’m in the wrong somehow.
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2020.10.13 22:25 big_loser_0 Mature secret video

for a long time I was sexting and sending nudes to an online “best friend” that I had. I have known her for two years. I am 15 years old and she is 21. It’s a long story but I can say that she has put me through hell for a long time. I was so stressed out because of her that I started getting chronic migraines. I haven’t talked to her since August but I still have these migraines every day. I feel stupid and disgusted with myself and I can’t stop wondering why I let this happen, why did I say yes? I remember for a long time I kept thinking that I was a bad person for being uncomfortable with her and that she has done nothing wrong. She sent me gifts in the past and drew me pictures and made video edits for me, she did a lot of things to get me to like her and she never took rejection very well and she was like this with all of her friends. It got to the point where I couldn’t even talk to my friends because she took over my free time.
She was always stalking me, she knew I was online even when I had my activity status off... She followed me on every platform. If I ever wanted time for myself she would take that as an offense and she would make me look like the bad guy. My parents fight a lot and I have a chronic illness so I don’t always feel like talking to people, my real friends understand that. But this girl, she wouldn’t let me be alone. I was supposed to talk to her everyday. One time I didn’t talk to her for two days and she texted me saying that she was scared that I am abandoning her and that she thinks I find her annoying and whatever, and she also posted on her social media— a video edit of her favorite celebrity crying and she wrote down in the caption about how alone she is and that the “love of her life” disappeared. When I texted her back I tried defending myself and saying that my disappearance had nothing to do with her. She still kept throwing a pity party until I had to apologize to her. If she were around my age it wouldn’t have been so bad but this girl was 21 years old and at the time I was only 14. It was always like this and It turned into me having to video chat with her everyday too. She always hated not having her way. She would become very emotional when I would say no to anything, while using the excuse that she’s a sensitive person. At the time I always felt bad. I felt bad everyday because I never enjoyed her company, and I was guilty because she always did so much for me. I still question if I was being a bitch to her or not. But I know very well that I did whatever she wanted no matter how I felt. Even when I felt like shit I sexted with this girl and sent her nudes, she even sent me nudes and I would pretend like I liked it.
I remember that she told me she didn’t believe that our age difference is wrong and that it’s not pedophilia. But I know it is, and i don’t know what my mom would do if she finds out about this, thats why I was scared and at the time. I cared about this girl so much that I didn’t want her to get into any trouble. I tried hiding this for so long but the guilt took over me and I knew that I didn’t really like this girl, she was making me extremely uncomfortable, and I only pretended to like her because for so long she was my best friend and after everything she did for me I felt like it wasn’t right to say no. But now looking back at it I was just stupid.
The last thing I remember between us was that I couldn’t take it anymore. It was a couple of days after my 15th birthday and I hated being 15 because this girl would say that I am more mature now and that I can make my own decisions and stuff. It was sick in my opinion. The guilt was making me cry all the time. I was losing sleep and I felt sick. I just wanted a way out of this.
One night I suddenly felt strong enough to do the right thing. I told her that I felt guilty because of all the secrets and that I didn’t want to do this anymore. When she replied to me all it said was, “you don’t know what you are saying” I told her that it was the truth and that I was sorry but she wouldn’t listen, even when I said that we could still be friends. She said that she didn’t want to be friends with me and that she only wanted to love me. I tried explaining her why I didn’t feel well enough to be in a relationship because I was feeling sick all the time and my parents always fighting was not making me feel any better. But then she told me this and it really pissed me off. She said, “you know what, we are still going to be together. this is not over! Let’s just go back to normal and pretend like this conversation never happened and if you ever feel like telling me bad things about how you feel then don’t. you can shut up.” I replied to her that I still didn’t change my mind. This felt like it lasted hours. she was very angry and she wouldn’t let me leave. Throughout all of this she was throwing a tantrum and She kept a saying things like, “You’re going to regret this” “You don’t care about me!” And that I was selfish. I couldn’t say anything without her giving me these same replies. I felt bad because she was hurt but I knew that this “relationship” had to end. I finally gave up on trying to talk to her and the last thing she told me was that She gave me everything and that I gave her nothing and that I am a monster. I blocked some of her social media accs and went to bed but I couldn’t get that last text out of my head.
I don’t know if this is abuse and I don’t know if I wrote enough about what all she’s done because she has done a lot of things, like body shaming me, not letting me change my username on social media because she chose it for me, making me uncomfortable with her drawings she made of us having sex, and sexualizing me in the clothes I would wear (tank top, a blazer, and an oversized shirt.) I do know that she’s caused me a lot of harm, or maybe I did this to myself, I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t forgive myself for letting her get away with this. She is still on social media today and she has a lot of friends, that I hope aren’t under the age of 18. Things seem to be going pretty well for her. It’s just that I really hope no one else experiences the same thing as I did with her. I was not able to put my horrible experience with this girl into words, I have brain fog because of POTS but please believe me when I say this was all horrible. Sometimes I feel so angry that I want to unblock her and then go into her DMs and tell her about how horrible she has made me feel. But I know I shouldn’t do that.
What do you think? Was I an asshole to her? I don’t know what I can do. I never told anyone about this, not even my parents, and I’m never going to. It’s embarrassing because she got close to me by liking the same cartoon as me. I hate that cartoon now sadly. But I can no longer enjoy it because it makes me feel embarrassed.
I really need advice. This probably isn’t even as bad as I think it is but I still want help.
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