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A breaking point is like getting mocked and bullied online and in school. You wonder if anyone even cares or loves you, whether there’s an escape from this plight that you so don’t deserve. You wonder if your life even matters, and can’t figure out what’s the point of living anyway. Tell-Tale Signs of Reaching Your Breaking Point Meditation. Peace and quiet. Those things have saved my life. Also, some Prozac has been very helpful. My facebook friends have also helped a great deal. I have found that your breaking point will stretch. – Kerry D. Talk to someone you trust. Have a good hard cry. Cry until you get it all out. – Bobbi C. Let them be there for you during this difficult time. See if your friends can offer a fresh perspective. 4. Journal. Yes, I'm sure you've heard this one before. But, there's a reason for this: It ... Breaking Point Definition. Definition: The point at which something breaks down or gives way. The breaking point of something is the point at which stress has increased so much that things begin to fall apart or break down. Before something has reached its breaking point, it has undergone many trials and tensions. Don't be afraid to open up to others, to share your successes but to also share your tribulations. <em></em>Please never hesitate to reach out to your friends and family, or even a professional, even if it feels like it's you against the world and there's no one to call, someone will pick up and remind you that the world is your oyster and you can share it with them.</p> “[Sometimes when we have a lot of motivation] we push ourselves past a breaking point and get injured," Tooley explains. "There’s a difference between being tired and being lazy. We all feel like we were taken back by years because of some shitty stuff in my past. I also didn't get to finish writing this (because I hadn't the energy to finish) but there were moments where I stopped eating, showering, and brushing my teeth for very long periods of time. I also hid my feelings all the time. Reaching a Breaking Point. July 11, 2018. I like a little stress in my life. The right kind. ... I will start to sleep less and less, almost to the point of collapse. I am on edge and tired all of the time, so instead of being angry and losing my temper, I keep it inside. ... so there’s no really getting away from the craziness. I love the ... SYMPTOMS OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. A nervous breakdown rarely happens overnight; it takes a long time to spiral all the way down to rock bottom. And that’s the good news: there’s plenty of time to spot the warning signs and sort yourself out before you reach breaking point. All content posted on this site is the responsibility of the party posting such content. Participation on this site by a party does not imply endorsement of any other party's content, products, or services. Content should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

2020.10.21 21:25 pinkpeony90 Reaching a breaking point. Tired of all of this, is there any hope? Experiences with meds?

Super long story guys, but I need to vent.
Long time panic attack sufferer. Since I was 7-8. First it was about health, I was a chunky girl and heavily bullied, one day I thought I am so fat I’ll get a heart attack and die, I was 7-8. So I felt as if I couldn’t breathe, my chest hurt and I was dying. My mother rushed me to the hospital, my father was very angry at me. He was in bed and had to work the next day, and he had to wake up and rush me to ER, he didn’t want to take me and he was very very angry as I cried and claimed I couldn’t breath. He said I was making things up, and thanks to me my parents started arguing.
We get to the ER and obviously nothing is wrong. So we go to Children’s hospital, they run tests and nothing is wrong. I was certain something was happening, so my mom would make me tea, let me sleep up right and tried to help me. This must have been hard for her.
In 5th grade, a teacher noticed something was off about me, a little of back story. My parents were abusive towards each other. Daily arguments, my father would get physical and sometimes the cops will show up. I would just watch them be mean and scream and he would hit her. I grab my little sisters and hide in the closet while we put our hands over our ears. Then it was gone, they were happy.
My parents were excellent providers. They were responsible but a mess together. I had everything I wanted as a child, we were very well off.
The fights were constant, so was the domestic violence which made me feel negative emotions towards my dad.
I was so bullied in school, when I came home it was an escape. I hated school but my father also bullied me. He called me fat among other names. My sisters look like models, so he will often say I wasn’t his daughter. There were special events that I wasn’t invited to, because I didn’t fit his perfect family picture.
So, the teacher called my mother, and I started seeing a psychologist. I don’t remember much, she was very nice. But my parents always told me to never say a word of what was happening at home.
Middle school started and it was better, I was kind of popular. I had tons of friends and I started to rebel against my parents. I got drunk at 13, and started ditching school. Sex became an escape. Sex made me feel wanted and desired. I always saw myself so disgusting and incapable of being loved, but I knew with sex I would get attention. I was raped quite a few times, first time I was about 5-6. When I was 14. I would call sex lines and talk to strangers over 40, my preference was over 50. I would try to meet with them but last minute they’d back out for obvious reasons.
I did meet a few, and I liked being treated badly during sex. I was only 14.
I started doing drugs, running away from home and my parents were living through hell. I am so sorry I did such a thing. I love them.
High school started, panic attacks came back. I thankfully graduated, but after graduation I developed agoraphobia. I didn’t leave my room for 8 months or more. I felt if I left my room, I would die. Sometimes I’d go to the kitchen or something, but I wouldn’t even dare leave my house. If I did, I immediately started panicking. I was on Ativan, but I wouldn’t really take it. I was terrified of it killing me.
Several 5150s came and left. One day, I just decided to go out. I was going through a break up, I thought he was the love of my life. I was 19. I was suicidal. It came and left, life got better for a little bit. I over came it and started working and went back to school.
My father left my mother, after 19 years. He didn’t leave a dime, and he left us with a home we couldn’t afford on our own, so the house was foreclosed and sold on a short sale. Me and my mom and sisters had nowhere to go. I was the breadwinner. I worked 2 jobs, and thankfully finished my medical assistant program. I paid for everything, and took care of my family. My mom would work sometimes. My sisters were going through a lot. They had similar issues as me. My uncle raped us all.
Panic attacks didn’t exist for a long time. Life was normal. I was happy, I got back with my ex who made me suicidal until he cheated when I was 21. At 21 I lived on my own and was very happy. I would still get panic attacks but it wasn’t a big deal.
I moved to Las Vegas for school. UNLV, I wanted my bachelors in Business. I couldn’t get a job until a friend who worked at a studio told me I should work with her. She was a cam girl. So I went for it. I became a cam girl. I liked it, I loved it. I got so much attention by men and I’m obsessed with sex so it was a win win plus getting paid for it. I started going to church so I quit, thankfully the owner liked me so much she made me a manager, so I still had a job. I would get on cam with a friend if the price was right.
I saved all of my money. I was so happy until the panic came again. My mother was visiting from California. I hugged her and we hung out, something came on the news about a guy who killed his mother, and they said he suffered from mental illness. I said whoah, I suffer from mental illness.
1 hour went by, I locked myself in the bathroom, looked at my dog and said “what if I harm her!” I started crying, left. I saw my mom and said “what if I harm her?” It was hell so I ran outside and called 911. I didn’t know what to feel, these thoughts I’ve never had. And the fact I have a mental illness made me think I will carry it out.
I was hospitalized for 3 days. I was on Klonopins. Life became a living nightmare. I moved back to California. I needed to be around family and I seek God.
I got my own apartment but it was hell. Every other night I would start shaking, crying and sure I was going to harm someone. I was rushed to ER quite a few times. Sometimes I thought I did something and had forgotten. This went on and on.
I started my own business. All the money I saved, I decided I had to focus on my life. On reality, I’m not evil, I’ve never been violent. Thoughts are just thoughts and I have to be strong. Blood, sweat and tears I started my business. It kept me busy and I felt back into the groove. I was baptized in a Christian church and decided to give my life to God.
I was ok for 3-4 years. Daily prayer, living life and accepting thoughts as just thoughts. I was engaged to my Pastor’s son. I called it off. I didn’t feel good enough, in my mind I was still that hideous fat girl that no one wants. He was married 2 months later to someone else.
I stopped going to church and here I am. I’m 30, my business is still thriving. I have wonderful employees, I get along with my father and mother. I’m closer to my siblings.
As I type this, I’m sad. I feel there’s no way out. The panic attacks are back. I wake up panicking. I wake up fearing today is the day I will get committed. I wake up thinking today I will turn into a psycho and do an unthinkable act. Do I want to? No. I want peace, love, I want to LOVE people. I am a genuinely good person. I don’t think twice in helping someone. I know I have a good heart, so why do I feel this way? Sometimes I think just end it. But, I am a Christian. I believe in God. Why won’t he heal me? If he loves me, I’m in pain. I’m suffering. I just want to be happy.
I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in July. Most likely hysterectomy and chemo. I always wanted to have children and that was taken away from me.
I don’t know what to do, I’m single after being with someone for 3 years. I started talking to another guy who I’ve known for years. He said he loved me but of course, poof, gone ghosted. I just don’t feel good enough. Why would anyone pursue me when there’s better out there?
My only happy place is sex. I think about sex 24/7 and it’s probably not normal for a woman. I don’t have one night stands or anything. But I think about it and masturbate a lot.
I just want to know that there’s hope out there. I’m tired of feeling worthless. I’m tired of living in fear, I show up to my store 2-3 times a week because I think the agoraphobia is back. All I want to do is cry.
I was given Effexor, Zoloft and Prozac. Haven’t taken any of them because I am terrified. Anyone with success stories please, I need it.
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2020.10.16 05:05 Trubmanexec Sex house live cam

There are things about my past and my upbringing I know play part in the struggles I have today. I don't know how I'll do having to say any of it sitting in front of a person face to face but I'd like to practice here. I'm ashamed of myself. and I've never been to a therapist because I have the fear they will judge me. I have the fear of seeing judgement and disgust on someone's face because I feel disgust so why wouldn't they? I'm sorry if you feel disgusted reading and also sorry if you are triggered I just want to be honest.
I grew up kind of alone. There were always people around me but it never felt like they really knew me or wanted to know me. I was always in the way or causing trouble and I guess it got to the point where I didn't feel like I could do anything right. I regularly heard growing up that I was too stupid or too ugly and it created a feeling of worthlessness in me. I looked around at a superficial world where the most beautiful is the best, and I was influenced by it. I've never found myself to be particularly attractive and that seems to be the consensus of the general population. Therefore I wasn't any good. Anybody who claimed to like me must have something wrong with them or just be lying. There's either a defect or an ulterior motive and that's how I grew up viewing the world.
I didn't trust anybody but I wanted to more than anything. I knew I was smart, and I knew I was friendly and funny and I knew I had much to offer but I wouldn't let anybody get close enough to see it. Because if I showed them the real me if they didn't like it I would be devastated. But if I showed them some front that "wasn't really me" if they didn't like it, it somehow couldn't hurt me. Misogyny became my slogan for a while but I always remember hoping even froma very young age to find my other half in life and be happy forever.
Part of the superficial world was hookups and you were only as cool as the hottest chick you could get with. Part of being a growing boy is discovering porno and I got acquainted with it way too young. Sex became my life. When I couldn't have sex porno was my life. When I wanted more than porno I lived in chat rooms. People weren't lining up to have sex with me and I didn't have much hope about it because of my attractiveness and I started paying for it. I would shop for the perfect girl and see who had the best bio and the best everything else and I would spend a lot of money. I liked to pretend that they were my girlfriend or a girl from online (someone I wasn't paying.) Sometimes I cried in the car on the way out and I saw it in my bank account but I never stopped going until I met my one.
She changed my life in every good way you can think of but I didn't give her that too. I ended up taking much away from her and making her regret me more than once probably more than 100 times. She's barely hanging on by a thread and that is what is moving me to therapy even though she asked me to already a lot over 3 years. She is more than everything I could have ever hoped for and losing her would be. I can't finish that sentence and I don't want these tears in front of a therapist so please give me advice on that. She doesn't know most of what I've done but what she does know she loves me anyway. I know nothing is wrong with her and I know she doesn't have an ulterior motive but I don't know why I can't make it work when we are believe me so perfect for each other. The things I'm keeping from her are creating chaos in an already chaotic setting (my mind) but I can't tell her.
She knows I have a wandering eye but she doesn't know how much. She found some chats logs that were pretty tame and I convinced her it was a from a fight but it wasn't. One time her friend was talking about cheating and my gf said that I didn't go any where except for work and home so she never had a chance to worry. It made me feel bad because I am not cheating but I go other places and she wouldn't be proud of things I do. I go to the gym and my workout is not in the forefront of my mind I am looking at the girls there as much as I can get without being caught a gym creep. I help my mom and I get excited thinking I will maybe run into her housekeeper. I masturbate at work to porno and just watch it a lot when she's not around me.
The worse things I flirted at work with a colleague/someone my gf will see and it makes me feel like a dog shit when I see that colleague ever since (I know it should.) I lied to her about a charge for a cam site on a statement I thought she would never be seeing. I got a fullblown crush on the lady I got coffee from every morning and I never mentioned my gf I led her to think I was single. Almost all girls around me I feel I hope are single and like me. I never have a intention of leaving my gf so why does that matter to me why does it make me sad? I have made up things to try to have a conversation with a girl in a line. I have told my gf I'm not in the mood and its because my gf didn't look appealing because I just had porno in the bathroom but told her I was sore or tired.
The porn I know is bad and a lot I watch porn at my moms house but don't masturbate there anymore it felt weird. Sometimes I will masturbate leaving my moms thinking of what I watched, always when I drive if I am not masturbating I am watching something. I always want to talk to every girl I see and make her happy and make her like me. Typing it out makes me feel like a bastard because my gf loves me so much and she hates this behavior but I don't stop. Even not doing anything I'm thinking of what I could do I'm always imagining fantasies. She is not vanilla she does more than anyone I haven't paid and she actually likes it but still I'm having the fantasies of other people. She has sent me videos of herself and pictures for my pleasure but I've never used them and told her I have.
What can a therapist say to me other than I'm terrible? I'm a terrible boyfriend and friend I've even tried to get my friend's gfs. Anyone who knew my real thoughts would run away and they should because I destroy everything and can't even say why I do it. I wanted one thing my whole life the perfect girl and when God listens to one thing I ever said I screwed it up. Guilt is eating me up and maybe maybe she would have been OK with the truth at first but not lying and how can I look in that beautiful face and say I lied to her? She will ask why and do I say I am addicted to porno or sex? She will think I tried to have sex with every girl I flirted, how do I tell her I would not do that? I don't even know why I flirted how could I explain myself? A therapist will say be honest get rid of your guilt. My gf will think she is not good enough or I could be happy. My life feels over either way.
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2020.10.14 02:36 Hero3239 Cam live sex house

Greetings to you benevolent lord Moonhorse and to the esteemed members of the Mooncult. I have come with the final addition to the N.I.C.E series. When I wrote the first story I wasn't expecting for it to become the series that it turned out to be. The story was suppose to just be a one and done. Still I had a really fun time expanding the world and having the characters show up unexpectedly. I want to take this time to give my thanks to some people for aiding with and adding to the story. I want to thank my friends Hootsieroll and Zenith#6960 for allowing me to use their gamer tags for parts of the story and I want to thank discord user simply an observer for helping me create the neckbeard hybrid Christian Lucas Roger and for being one of the cultists in the story. Thank you everyone for your encouraging words here and on YouTube and without further ado, please enjoy the finale to the N.I.C.E series.
It has been a while since we last saw the N.I.C.E gang. They had tried their perfectly flawless plans to win the hearts of Rebecca and Stephany and swoon them so much that they would leave each other for them. (Start of 4th wall joke) Obviously we are hear reading this story because their plans worked and this tale will talk about how Tyler and Stephany got married with the second part being Rebecca, Trudy, and Jason’s wedding after the two worked together and decided that they all should enter a polyamorous marriage. So, let us beg…huh?
*talks to person off screen* Wait what do you mean their plan didn’t work? Backfired? Then why do I have the script about their marriage? Well tell Eric that he needs to organize this better. I swear one more slip up like this and I am calling my agent. Do you know how many other stories I must narrate? Don’t get paid enough for being an omnipotent voice.
*back to mic* That was just a test to see if you all read the last story. (end of 4th wall joke.) Their plan clearly fell through and the two girls had rejected the three of them once more. The group of narcissists had broken apart and went off to lick their wounds. They had been rejected for the last time. Now. Now it was time to show those two what happens when a nice guy or girl is no longer nice. And oh boy would you look at the time.
The three beards had become a devastating force against the two girls who just wanted to be left alone. It was like fighting a war on three fronts. Trudy had waged smear campaign against Rebecca and Stephany. A war tactic she was all too familiar with. She made claims on her drama blog that the vet clinic that the two girls worked at was a terrible place that harmed animals and preformed operations that weren’t needed. She also went on a diatribe about how one of the workers there, Stephany, had her kitten put down when it wasn’t needed. She apparently got sadistic glee out of the act. Trudy pleaded for people to go and give a bunch of negative reviews about the clinic and to pressure the owner of the clinic fire Stephany and blacklist her from any other clinics. Trudy didn’t have a large following, but she did have some dedicated fans who somehow liked her terrible fanfiction. They set off like a wave of destruction. They left bad review after bad review. Each one coming up with a slanderous lie about Stephany and the business. They all had one thing in common. All the posts demanded Stephany be fired. Some more subtle than others. It absolutely devastated Stephany when she found out about it. Who would go spreading slanderous lies about her? She was first alerted to this when management pulled her aside to find out what was going on. She had no idea what was happening or why people were saying these things. Stephany stated that she would never harm an animal intentionally and she had never done the things that the reviews were claiming. She started to get looks from some of the customers as they brought their pets in. Some seemed fearful when she came out and called their name for the examination. She had to have another vet in the room with her to ease the customer’s worries. These worries seemed to fade when they saw that Stephany actually cared about animals. Any and all pets that came into the clinic. The business owner decided to stick up for his employee and publicly denounced the slanderous reviews for being just that. Slander.
Things got even worse for Stephany when Jason enacted his plan. He had begun a campaign on anon harassment by finding Stephany’s writing blog and attacking all her fictional works. He would leave numerous comments about how the writing was trash and the plot was stupid. Sometimes they were just single word responses that just said ‘garbage’ or ‘weak’. If the fictional work was a fan fic about a show that he has seen or a game he played, his responses would become a lot more long winded about how this is wrong because it’s ‘not canon and any actual fan would realize this.” He also left the ever classy and very unoriginal phrase of kill yourself. These messages would just keep coming and coming. It was starting to get to Stephany. Rebecca would find Stephany coming home from work and just hiding in their room. Rebecca would walk in to see her crying and when Stephany noticed Rebecca enter, she would try to put on a brave face like none of this was bothering her. They both knew it was a lie and it pained Rebecca to see her girlfriend try to act brave to not bother Rebecca with more stress. Eventually Rebecca got Stephany to talk to her about it and it became a very emotional night.
Rebecca wouldn’t escape unscathed, however. Tyler would see to that. Being from a rich family, Tyler had a lot of connections with others and not all those connections were respectable ones. It’s amazing what you can get access to when you grease a few palms. He had recently ‘acquired’ Rebecca’s cell phone number and so he decided that he would put a picture of her and her phone number on a Craigslist ad looking for hook ups. It described that she was looking for any and all types of sex and how she loved erotic roleplay and being sent a dicture picture would make her melt like puddy. For a week, her phone would blow up with all sorts of cringy roleplays about what they would do with Rebecca’s naked body or even just actions to themselves. She couldn’t even open her phone’s text feature in public because every other few minutes, she would get some pictures from some incredibly happy gentlemen. All overcompensating. She would try to block as many numbers as she could, but it became very pointless. Rebecca had to change her number after just getting bombarded with texts.
It didn’t take Tyler long to get her number again. Same method as last time. He hadn’t posted another ad just yet as he was busy with an exciting round of Call of Duty. He was currently pub stomping an entire lobby. He was pretty pathetic at the game since they nerfed a gun he could cheese and so he decided to do the only other thing to do. He bought cheats to supplement his lack of gaming awareness and actual skill. He was however an unbelievably bad hacker as it was pretty obvious in the kill cams that he had an aimbot and wall hacks. His current victim was a gamer by the name of Zenith#6960. Tyler would get a smug grin every time he heard Zenith#6960’s Reeees of anger in the small window that the death chat provided. He would also take down members of the same group that Zenith was in. He would gain the pleasure of hearing Hero3239 and Hootsieroll rage at how they died unfairly. The match would soon be won by Tyler’s side as with the aid of his cheats they gained enough points for victory. It would have ended much sooner as he almost got a tactical nuke for getting a 25 player kill streak but when he was at kill number 24, he was stopped by Hootsieroll. He became belligerent at this. He was so close to flexing his gaming skill on the lobby only to have it be taken away by a noob. No matter he would get back to 25 kills in a matter of seconds. He got to kill number 24 again and was again stopped in his tracks by Zenith#6960. Out came another bellow of rage. How could these noobs beat him? Third times a charm, right? So, he went on another kill streak to unlucky 24 but was again stopped in his tracks by Hero3239 and his trusty M4A1 rifle. To only add insult to injury, Hero3239 tea bagged him in retaliation to what he had done earlier in the match. Tyler was sent into a rage. There wouldn’t be a fourth chance as by that time the round was over.
By the time everyone was brought back to the game lobby, Tyler’s headset would be bombarded by angry voices from both teammate and enemy alike. Many called him trash and to quit the game, get some real skill. Zenith#6960’s comment stood out from the crowd of jeers just because of how unusual his insults were. He called Tyler’s use of cheats “Heresy!” and that he should leave the game for being a heretic. Obviously, they were all just jealous of just how skillful he truly was. Despite the fact that he was cheating and even had the cheat command box up on screen to toggle the cheats. He decided that he would debate all the naysayers.
“Uh you’re all just jealous of my elite skills. Just get good noobs.” He taunted.
“Do you know how much of a disappointment you are to your family?” Zenith#6960 responded.
“I am not a disappointment!” Tyler said losing his cool. “You might be though with a weak K/D like that.”
“Firstly, your K/D doesn’t matter. This isn’t a tournament. You aren’t getting a cash prize. Hell no one is impressed with K/D anymore.” chimed in Hero3239. “Secondly you didn’t even earn that K/D legitimately. It’s noticeably clear you are using cheats. You instantly can see someone running around near you and you just camp in a tiny corner.”
“I am not cheating! You all just suck! One v one me trash.”
“Oh bullshit. You need cheats to win. Those past few kills on me were through a wall where you wouldn’t be able to see me unless you were using cheats. Get off the game and get some real skill.” Hootsieroll said.
These words were the final straw. Soon Tyler saw only red and retorted in kind.
“REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. You know what. Fuck you guys. You all are just jealous that I am the better gamer. I don’t have to take this.”
And with that, he left the lobby seething before another game started up. He guided his rage back to the paper that had Rebecca’s number on it. He was going to take his anger out on her. He began to post another ad on Craigslist and this time he was going for the jugular. He posted an updated ad that had Rebecca’s number that included everything from the previous ad but also added how she loved to be degraded by strangers. It was such a turn on for her. Once he finished typing it up, he clicked submit and just waited for the chaos to start.
Rebecca was starting to get fed up with all the creeps that were blowing up her phone. It had gotten so bad after the second ad went up that she just wouldn’t take her phone anywhere. It would constantly buzz and ring with new texts every few minutes. She had to go get a third phone number shortly after as she had missed a call from her boss because of all the texting. Rebecca was thankful that she had unlimited text, or this would have been very costly. There had to be something that she and Stephany could do. The police couldn’t help them as they didn’t have a clue on who could be behind all of this. Rebecca and Stephany knew that it had to be the trio but without actual proof their options were limited. It seemed that they would have to endure until they got a message from each of the three. It was a list of demands.
Trudy’s list required Rebecca denounce Stephany on social media and say how she was wrong to date her and to switch her Facebook status to in a relationship with Trudy, write a fan fic about how Trudy’s character was the greatest person in the world and basically have Rebecca’s character grovel at Trudy’s feet, and convince the coffee shop to take Trudy back.
Jason’s list required similar things of Rebecca. He wanted her to leave Stephany to become his girlfriend. This demand had a long paragraph describing how he would treat her like a princess even if she did betray him twice now. The second thing he wanted her to do was to be his support in League of Legends, it would totally make his team jealous. Finally, he wanted her to cosplay as his favorite waifu from time to time while they dated.
Tyler’s list of demands for Stephany weren’t that complex. Just like his other ex-members of the N.I.C.E group, he wanted Stephany to break up with Rebecca and become his girlfriend. Like Jason, this demand was followed by his own diatribe about how Stephany would see that Tyler was her true love and how they would be together for ever and ever and how they would have three beautiful children. Two boys and a girl. Johnny, Jake, and Brittney. He also had a list of anime that they would watch together. It was much better than that mainstream garbage she watched. Lastly, she had to watch him own noobs in Call of Duty. He just knew that after watching a little bit she would be so turned on that she would have sex with him on the spot.
If they followed the list of demands, their problems would stop. The demand list also had a spot for the girls to meet. Coincidentally, the three beards who hadn’t been talking together wanted the girls to meet them in a park that was nearby and to meet at night. It seemed that fortune smiled on the girls as it meant that they could deal with this problem once and for all.
The girls looked at the list of demands and then to each other. This wasn’t something either was going to agree to. For starters, Rebecca physically couldn’t accept both Trudy’s and Jason’s demands. It wasn’t like she was going to accept either one anyway. They knew who it was that was causing their lives to be living hell and now they needed to do something about it. Stephany brought up an idea. She had a friend who had joined a group that called themselves, the Moon Cult. She wasn’t too thrilled her friend joined a cult, but it turned out that they weren’t really a cult at all, it was just an inside joke. They specialize in neckbeard of all sorts and could most likely help them with their little problem. Rebecca was unsure but given that she didn’t have any options of her own to draw from, she went along with it. Stephany soon called her friend, and a plan was set into motion. The day before Rebecca and Stephany were to meet the neckbeards for one last time, Rebecca found a pair of military dog tags that were lying around her house. She had never been in the military nor did she know of anyone in the military, so it was very strange for such an item to be lying around. She picked it up to see that it was very damaged with scratches and tears. It was clear that these tags had seen combat. Scratched onto one of the plates were the numbers 197. Rebecca didn’t know why but she felt a feeling of comfort by seeing the numbers. Like one would get when seeing a caring parent. She decided to keep the tags.
The day had arrived. The final battle between the Neckbeards and their love obsessions. The beards had arrived earlier to prepare for when their love interest would arrive to accept the deal. What they weren’t expecting was to run into each other.
“What are you doing here?” Trudy asked in disgust when she saw Jason’s repulsive face.
“Uh I should be asking you the same thing.” Jason replied equally disgusted.
“I’m here to accept Rebecca’s acceptance of my proposal.”
“That’s a shame since she will accept my proposal over yours. I knew her first and it’s clear that she will love me the most.”
The two moved up to each other until they were face level. Both giving the other death glares, their foreheads pushed together so close that some grease dripped down their faces. A chuckle was what broke their little game of death staring contest.
“Still fighting over a lesser woman, huh? I guess I should be thankful. It means I won’t have to tear you down for Stephany’s heart. Though it wouldn’t be that much work if I had to.”
“Tyler.” Trudy and Jason said in unison.
“Why would I ever want your second rate waifu? Rebecca is clearly best girl.” Jason responded,
“Yeah. Rebecca is so much prettier than Stephany could ever be.” Trudy included. It was the only thing that Jason and Trudy could agree on.
Tyler was enraged that they had the audacity to think that Stephany was ugly. She was a 10/10 while Rebecca was merely a 7/10. He wanted to retort, to prove that his thought was superior, but before he could, his attention was turned to the guests they had. Stephany and Rebecca arrived but they didn’t arrive alone. It seemed they had friends.
“Ah Stephany my love. I’m so glad to see you’ve accepted my proposal. I’ve got the playlist of cultured anime all set up and ready for us to watch.” Tyler said dreamily.
“M’lady. I see you have arrived. Do not fret your white knight is here to take your hand and show you just how much of a gentleman I am.” Jason said to Rebecca.
“We aren’t here to accept either of your proposals.” Stephany spoke up in a defiant tone.
A condescending high pitch giggle came from Trudy who looked at Jason.
“I was right Jason. Rebecca is hear for me. Don’t worry you can still see her. We will save you a seat at our wedding.” She mocked.
“No Trudy. I’m not accepting your proposal either. We came here to tell you three that we are done playing these games. We gave you three a chance to move on with some dignity but you three stalked us, harassed us, and are now trying to extort us!” Rebecca yelled.
As Rebecca’s words finished, the clouds parted ways revealing a full moon. Trudy, Jason, and Tyler had a change in appearance. Trudy was dressed in elven battle armor, white cloth with leather overlay. She had a staff with a pink crystal on the top with gemstones around it. Next to her was her wife, Claule. She too was clad in her elven princess battle armor. Behind them was fifty of Claule’s finest elven archers. Jason had turned into a knight clad in golden armor. The moonlight gleamed off his armor. In his hand was a European long sword and a shield. He even had a majestic steed to ride on. Tyler became dressed in edgy anime like attire. His black trench coat fluttered behind him. He wielded a Japanese katana, one folded 1000 times by a master swords maker whose technique was passed down thousands of years. Standing in front of Rebecca and Stephany was Stephany’s friend and a few others who were wearing black and blue robes with the symbol of the Moon Cult on them.
“My love. Who are these miscreants in front of us?” Claule asked with distain.
“They are chaos forces that have escaped our justice. They captured that fair maiden and are holding her hostage. We must liberate her.” Trudy explained as she aimed her staff at group.
“Do not worry Rebecca, m’lady. I shall liberate you from these vile fiends and we can ride off together to our happily ever after.” Proclaimed Jason.
“I’ll save you Stephany! You bastards won’t be able to withstand the sword technique that was passed down my family for generations. Forgive me grandfather but I must unleash all of my powers to save my girlfriend.” Tyler said doing overexaggerated poses.
Rebecca and Stephany had no idea what was going on and even when they tried to say that they weren’t being held captive, the three super powered beards didn’t hear that all.
“Grand mistress Trudy! Please save me from these chaos forces that are keeping me here!” Was what Trudy heard from Rebecca.
“Oh, my shining knight in armor! Please save me. I’m so frightened by these thugs that have me held captive.” Was what Jason heard from Rebecca.
“Tyler please save me! I should have never doubted your love for me! I-I love you!” was what Tyler heard from Stephany.
The trio was looking like they were about ready to attack the cultist to ‘save’ their obsessions but soon a giant drop pod crashed in between the two groups. It came down with a massive thud and soon the metal doors opened to reveal three armored men. The first one out was a man wearing Halo Spartan armor that was remarkably similar to the Master Chief’s but on the chest plate was the numbers 420 indicating the spartan number. His helmet’s visor was an amber color that masked his emotions. On his hip was the Needler pistol. In his hands and on his shoulders was the fruit cannon from Crash Bandicoot. Rebecca looked at the armored man and felt that same parental comfort that she felt when she saw the dog tag. Was that armor and the number on the dog tag connected somehow?
“Zenith-420 reporting in.” the armored spartan replied as he walked out.
The second man to walk out was clad in Warhammer 40k Astartes power armor. His armor was a navy blue with gold trimming on the outer parts of the armor. His pauldrons lacked any insignia of the numerous chapters. His helmet had two red glowing visor screens where the eyes would be. A filter where the mouth would be. The helmet looked like a face in a way. A face that was eternally angry. In his hands were a bolt pistol and a chain sword. The chain sword was revving and active as the man walked on the grassy field.
“Brother Hero3239 deployed and ready to fight.” He said.
The third man to walk out dawned the grapple pilot uniform from Titanfall 2. His visor glowed a sky blue. Cradled in his arms was the energy lever action shotgun dubbed, the Peacekeeper. It was a fickle gun. At times it could be the most devastating weapon on the fronter, other times you were better off just punching your enemy. On his back was a jump pack that would allow the pilot to run and jump on any angled surface.
“Pilot Hootsieroll jumping in. Grapple is armed and ready to go.” Was the final reply as the drop pod vanished from reality behind him.
The newcomers were facing off with the three beards. Each lined up against their intended combatant. Zenith-420 was going to face off with Tyler, Hootsieroll against Jason, and Hero3239 against Trudy. The two girls were stunned with everything that was happening to even say anything.
“You vile fiends won’t be able to stop our love. Rebecca, fret not. You shall soon be rescued by your white knight and we can live happily ever after.” Jason proclaimed before riding off into the forest heroically on his majestic steed.
Hootsieroll gave chase by grappling onto one of the oak trees and being pulled forward by the grappling hook. While that was going on, Trudy began to order her forces to engage.
“Warriors! Eliminate all the chaos forces so that we can restore order to this realm and show the might of our kingdom! We must rescue the damsel that is being captive! Good will always triumph!” She said rallying the troops.
They all gave a rousing cheer and started to move forward to engage. This included Claule but she was stopped by Trudy’s staff being placed in front of her.
“Is something wrong my love? You wanted us to engage them correct? A princess’s job is to be with her people and lead them in combat.” Claule asked confused as to why she was halted. She had always joined her warriors in combat.
“I need you to defend me. Our warriors are very capable on their own, but I am defenseless while channel my mana to conger a spell. Plus, we can do so much more together if we stay side by side.” Trudy argued, annoyed that her wife was even questioning her actions.
“Very well. I will stay by your side.”
The rest of the Elven archers moved forward and aimed their bows to the skies to launch their specialty crafter arrows blessed by their Goddess of war Isla. They didn’t target the cultists just yet as it seemed that they weren’t attacking, just staying near their captives. The cowards. Still it made their job easier of attacking the aggressor that was charging at them.
“Come then renegades! Show me proper might if you have it!” Hero3239 bellowed out in taunt to get the elven archers to attack him. He started running at them in a full sprint. His chainsword revving loudly as it thirsted for combat. Their arrows rained down on him.
Zenith was now looking at his enemy, Tyler was in a weird stance that seemed very impractical for combat.
“Huh. You look like you might be a worthy opponent. You might even make me use up ten percent of my power. No matter. If it is to save my love, then I would give one hundred percent of my power.” Tyler taunted.
He would soon run at Zenith-420 with his sword angled to cut him. Zenith would launch a barrage of needler rounds at Tyler who would then deflect them with his sword and even cut one in half.
Jason’s plan was to flank around the cultists to rescue his princess Rebecca and let the other two fight the enemies so that he could come and defeat them by himself. What he wasn’t expecting was to be chased by one of the strange soldiers. As his horse galloped forward, his head turned to look back and see Hootsieroll leaping from tree to tree. Fire bellowed from the jump pack with each leap that was taken. He was gaining on Jason as he only increased in speed with each jump. With his target in sight, Hootsieroll would take aim with his Peacekeeper and would unleash round after round of energy shots. It would spread out quite a bit because of the distance and most would miss but it was installing fear into Jason as he heard it. One final shot would land close to the mighty steed and spook it. The horse stood on its hind legs and bucked the white knight off the saddle. He fell with an ungracious thud onto the forest floor. Jason was now stuck in an empty clearing with trees surrounding him in a circle. He drew his sword and shield looking around for the one chasing him. Hootsieroll would leap out of the trees and land gracefully on the opposite side in the forest arena.
“You won’t be able to stop me from rescuing my fair princess! She and I will be married!” Jason said as he aimed the sword at Hootsieroll.
“Dude. She doesn’t even love you. That’s why we arrived to stop you and your friends.” Hootsieroll retorted.
“Firstly, they are not my friends, they are merely pawns for me to use to get Rebecca’s heart. Secondly, I shall slay you for such slanderous words!” with that Jason charged forward, running with his sword raised high.
Hootsieroll would use his grapple by aiming it at a tree to the left of Jason and launch it to pull him away and around Jason. As Jason approached, the grapple landed and pulled him towards the tree and just out of Jason’s swing. Next came the retaliatory shot from the Peacekeeper which was deflected off Jason’s shield. The cycle would continue as Jason gave chase each time becoming more and more frustrated with every missed swing. Neither were doing too much damage to each other but Hootsieroll would land a hit on the center chest piece of Jason’s armor denting it.
“Stop running you coward! This isn’t fair!” Jason whined.
“You want me to get up close and personal? Just remembered that you asked for it.” Hootsieroll said as he slid on the ground from his latest swing.
He took aim of his grapple at Jason’s shield and launched the grapple. In the flash of a few seconds the forest air filled with the sound of shrieking metal as the grapple ripped through the ‘noble’ knight’s shield. Jason tried to pull the shield back in an attempt to unlatch the grapple, but it was no use. With one quick tug of his arm, Hootsieroll had ripped the shield away from Jason and had it thrown into the depths of the forest, all while having the grapple retract back into the launcher. Jason charged in rage after losing his shield. How could his opponent be more skilled than him? He was the hero! He should be wining this fight with this pathetic sci-fi wannabe begging for mercy! He raised his sword high and with his mightiest reee he charged. Hootsieroll began to run at the knight while charging up the Peacekeeper for a powerful shot. Jason went for a side swipe with his great sword but was not expecting to be out played as Hootsieroll transitioned from running to sliding. It seemed like it was all over for Jason, he had been outmatched. Hootsieroll took the shot and…not much happened. The most damage it did was just denting the armor that Jason wore. The two looked down at the dent then to each other.
“ARE YOU SERIOUS?” Hootsieroll exclaimed in anger and surprise. Had this been a videogame, his shot would have only done 13 damage instead of a much more powerful amount of damage that was promised by using the gun.
Jason started to slightly chuckle then it shortly turned to a roaring laugh of mockery.
“You fool! This is proof that Rebecca’s love is protecting me! I am the main protagonist here not you. Your little weapon is no match to the power of our love. You should just surrender now, and I might just…” Jason’s taunting was cut short by a slug across the face by Hootsieroll.
The punch managed to send him flying across the empty field in the forest where he slid across the dirt before coming to a halt. Satisfied with the punch, Hootsieroll used his grapple to latch onto a tree to accelerate him to the top so that he could return to aid his battle brothers against the other beards.
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2020.10.07 16:03 IdolA7Octl Sex house live cam

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2020.10.06 02:19 ThroughItAllThrow Sex house live cam

I think I'm sharing this, and reaching out to y'all because I only really feel when I talk/ think about all the abuse and everything that's happened. I only feel vulnerable, and vulnerability related emotions- sadness, rage- but still.
Right so, so many things have happened this year, and I've become a completely different person. I've hardened.... a lot. The following is to detail everything that happened in such a drastic change in character- to give you guys an idea, I guess?
I realized almost a year ago what an absolute cunt my mother was to me, and that even my own *attempt* would not sway her from her need for me to fill a certain role for her.
When I was in the hospital, all her visits were how she felt, and how I should stop feeling the way I did about being labeled The Bitch and having it reinforced constantly by her, because it made things too hard for her.
When she picked me up I talked to her, but the first words out of her mouth were that she was mad that I'd made a scene at dinner. "You humiliated me!" (Thanksgiving was the special night of the attempt.)
I gave her 2 more chances, and she blew through them quicker than a chainsmoker with a single pack of cigarettes.
I then distanced myself from her, and was able to keep to my room LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THAT DAMN HOUSE (I had just never done it before) for a month, before she punished me for it. She gave me 6 times the work of my brothers who are rude and disrespectful on purpose. One of whom threatened my youngest brother with guns for the crime of telling him not to mess up the nice pillows we'd inherited from our deceased grandparents.
Part of the 6x was her mandate that on paper read (you will treat me with respect), but which she said aloud by telling me that I was no longer allowed to leave the room if she was in it, and I had to engage in conversations whenever she wanted me to. She had this smug little smile whenever she felt she'd "won" against me, and oh boy did she have it when I got out that piece of paper to point out what she'd said, and found nothing of the sort.
When I confronted her on it a week later, as the stress of the drastically unfair treatment was really fucking with me (seriously, I felt like a slave to the whims of her emotions at that point; I had no less than 2 break-downs in the local grocery store, and was pulled over for driving around the parking lot in a circle so that I could calm myself enough to sleep) I mentioned that the whole thing was punitive. Mind you they'd (stepdad loves to do anything to hurt me) presented it as payment for staying in the house that long, which my brothers did with extreme disrespect.
But the list of chores and duties (mind you, I did tell her I agreed there should be more for me to do, even in the situation I'll detail in a bit) blatantly demanded things that were never chores to begin with, and just things I did to be nice. In fact at one point I wanted one of these to be my chore, and was told outright that it was not a chore and would never be one. That "'chore" was making dinner for the family.
The absurdity of her transparency even when they first presented it- I was about to make salmon. My parents by units of 2 lbs of salmon at a time, so that's what I had to thaw. Obviously I wouldn't eat it alone. I asked them if the salmon I'd been in the process of making would count as one of the dinners for the week. And I shit you not, her reply was, "I don't know; are you making it for the family?"
Clearly it was my motivations for my actions and not the actual actions that counted- with CHORES. Did you want to do the dishes at home? Of course you didn't. But you did them. If this is a chore, it shouldn't matter why I did it, as long as it was done.
At one point during the following week, I was sat in the living room- staying there only because I had not been given permission to leave. When I asked her if I could leave the room, she looked confused as to why I was asking. But friends, I will tell you now that I know this reaction of old as I myself have exhibited it. It wasn't 'til months after I left that I was forced by mown research to admit it- but I had been my brother's abuser for some time. (And yes, I do regret it but it's a completely different story for another time.) So when I say that I know that her reaction was an abuser's reaction of, "What do you mean my actions were bad? I'm confused that you would follow them to the letter, and reveal how bad they are in the process. That's not me, don't put that on me. I'm good!"
When I sat my mother down, at the end of the week, and tried to talk to her, I told her this was punitive. Her exact words: "It wasn't punitive, I just felt like you hated me!" She was denying punishing me for what she thought she was being accused, and in the process fessed up to exactly what I was calling her out on.
She gave up on her hold of Mega Chore List, and the next couple months the fights I had begged her to stop started breaking out again. Only this time I was aware. This time could not be gaslit. Because I had learned what she wanted too thoroughly- someone to start fights with and always take the blame, and for her to always be able to believe she was loved by everyone (me in particular). I later learned she's what's called a codependent parent, and she was forcing me to take the place of her abusive mother, so that she could relive it and be granted the victimhood she so desperately craved as a child.
Alright, so the next couple of months I spend planning to get away. Most nights when I went to bed, I would look around the room and plan what I would take (I was trying to get a job elsewhere with Americorps) if I got the opportunity to leave safely. But one problem that existed now was that my anxiety had skyrocketed so drastically, that I tanked absolutely every interview including phone interviews (which had been absolute cake beforehand).
The Monday before the primaries (US) I went out with a friend, and we were swapping stories. She ended up telling me that she couldn't take hearing so much dark stuff, and I was extremely confused. This was the light stuff! how could it be too much?
This was when I learned that abuse in families is actually NOT NORMAL. If you've ever seen that scene in a movie where the character learns information that fucks their whole world up, and you get a bunch of zoomed-in shaky cam, that was me. And that was what it felt like.
The next night I came home from voting and I saw the bottle of brandy on the counter. I'd seen my stepdad sleeping on the couch the night before, which had never happened the entire time they'd been together. But my mother's go-to if she was supremely stressed and pissed was whiskey. And somehow this felt like a step up. My mother wasn't exactly a regular drinker.
I just knocked on her door to check on her, and ask about it so she could feel someone cared. I didn't actually want to know, and I knew she'd tell me "none of your business," which she did. But I could smell the overwhelming reek of alcohol clear across the room.
I went to talk to my brother. (Yes, that brother). When he said "No" which just meant he wasn't open to talking right now, I did text him. Mostly because this was actually important stuff happening. He was also pretty blind to anything going on around him, so he didn't know when I told him. He ended up saying some stuff to me, and we ended up getting into it in person. I do remember being surprised that I actually sounded calm, though. I'll add that I was personally worried as with our own father, I was the only one who remembered an immensely traumatic night, and I was already worried about a trigger.
Cue my mother coming out of her room to start shit. She asked "What's going on?" in a relatively confrontation tone. Twice she asked, and twice I responded with "It's nothing. Don't worry about it." Which only sends her away if she wants to be sent away. But here every time I said it, she jerked her head up in the ever-known motion of, You wanna go, fucker?
Maybe you're thinking, "She was trying to help your brother!" My mother didn't give to shits about my brother. She heard my voice and wanted a fight so she could be the definitive victim. And I would be obligated to apologize, furthering her own catharsis.
So what ended up happening was me trying to explain what was going on. I wasn't able to get one single sentence out. Every time I tried to explain, she'd barrage me with parroted statements (codependent parent thing) in a severely mocking tone. The "fight" if you can call it that, was maybe 15 seconds in when I was doubled over against the wall, tearing up, and begging her to stop. Then I was on the floor. On my face and knees, hands over my ears, sobbing and unable to move.
You ever notice how some people can't stand when your reaction reflects their bad behavior? Yeah, my mother decided to scream at me a couple times apiece, "SHUT TH FUCK UP!" and "CUT IT THE FUCK OUT!" Slamming in and out, in and out, in and out of her room The door of the room was maybe an inch from my head. But everything was starting to become so far away, and all right there at once that I really didn't notice until literally just now. But I can hear echoed any time I think of it, her flat out scream of frustration.
And with utter clarity the thought appeared in my mind. Certain. Completely undeniable. If I stay, I'll be in dead within 3 months. And no, not by their hand.
It's worth noting that the state of Texas went into lockdown a week and a half later.
Anyway, I inched my hands down, made a couple calls, and my suitcase was packed.
The person I stayed with that night came to pick me up, and I don't think I'll ever forget, as I had my hand on the doorknob, I looked back (I didn't really want to be seen), nd my mother was there giving me a look of Yeah, you better run. I might say later in this post that I an no longer see my mother's face in my memories, or hear her voice. So it's worth noting that when I remember it, it's a partial pieced-together snapshot only constructed from the memory of what the look conveyed, how crazed she was, and how it made me feel.
Aight so now the rest.
The next day I wound up with some hella cascading failures, and on my way to work I had... some kind of episode. No psych I talked to could tell me what that was, only that it was very clearly trauma-induced. Anyway, I ended up driving I think about 230 miles out of my way on my way to work, because I recognized the route to the college I went to.
Then the next day, I was hospitalized against my will, despite the fact that I was completely coherent and a danger to no one. But I had mentioned being suicidal the day before, so... yeah. That was awful. I'd been hospitalized before, but the doctor I saw here decided, upon learning that I actually had insurance despite telling him I didn't have the money to pay it, changed his mind about releasing me. I made known I had plans then to go to an abuse shelter I'd contacted and been accepted by, but fun facts......
When I was finally let out, I was just 2 days on the wrong side of lockdown. Now the rules were, "No one in or out," or they were being "very selective."
I spent so much of that day calling places, but all were following those guidelines. I went through my whole story more than once- even after telling them explicitly that I did not want to go into it if they already knew there was no place for me. Re-traumatization Central.
Then I had to call that a day. And I spent the rest of my time that evening reaching out to people I knew. After all, everyone was freaking out about the virus, and posting it everywhere. They werer acknowledging the deadliness of the situation. But no matter how frantically they told everyone to "wash your hands for 20 seconds!" or "Keep 6 feet distance!" or "Stay inside for god's sake! It's not safe to go out!" Those same fingers typed messages of "That's just so inconvenient! It's not fair of you to ask!" or "It's not really a god time for us right now!"
The most absurd things were the messages that immediately followed. "Keep in touch!" "You're in our thoughts!"
Want to take a guess at what happened when I did send a message to 'keep in touch?'
That night I slept in the back seat of my car, at the end of a Walmart parking lot.
The next morning I reached out to my friend, and ended up staying with a girl my friends knew in college. She never liked me. The plan was to circulate me between her, my ex-friend, and her mother while I looked for a job. When I amazingly wasn't able to find a job within 3 weeks, in the middle of a pandemic, during lockdown, they decided to put me up in an AirBnB, saying they thought I could use some time to myself, and my own space. And personally I welcomed the chance to get away from this girl. She was a full on psychopath. (Seriously, there's a guy somewhere working for a BWW, who needs to get out of his job now, cause she'd told me stories of how she and the head manager screwed him over by making him use up every possible day he could take off, when he had the audacity to take the time to get tested with newborn at home. They felt slighted because he made them short-staffed in the name of his baby's health.) She also had a big hard-on for power-playing with important parts of people's lives. And she stayed up 'til all hours of the night (longer when I emphasized I needed a regular sleep schedule), making sure to take up the space where I slept.
But actually the plan was to dump me after that. Only no one told me about that at all. And I was left to figure it out myself. When I confronted the ex friend, she blamed me for her decision. She told me I was ungrateful because, "I just spent all my money on you!" when she was actually spending the money to ditch me, and play the victim. She even lied to, and embezzled from a then-friend of mine too. She left me with what in her mind I'm sure were the words of the sage Guide, leaving the student to lead their life, "Whatever happens next is up to you." in a pandemic in lockdown. That bitch even said she'd looked into homeless shelters and abuse shelters (presumably to dump me) and they were all full, so she knew what she was doing. She just spent a lot of money to convince herself I was the bad guy
Then I stayed at the home of a poly friend's boyfriend's apartment. At the beginning I asked him what money he needed from me, so I could set it aside (from my credit card, mind you). He told me, but after I'd invested some money in settling in just a bit, he sprung demands on me for what amounted to my entire paycheck. He openly laughed at my problems, told me he couldn't have told me sooner because "I just decided it today." I reached out to the friend, because WTF? And she wouldn't listen to a word.
When I ended up leaving, I was texting her and she revealed she had never had any respect for me, and cited the "All My Exes Are Crazy" rule. Because growing up in abuse doesn't lead to unhealthy relationships at all. So basically called me a liar about my family, and the people who sprung the fact that they were dumping me by pretty much leaving it for me to figure out.
And here I had to call a friend (the one the ex-friend embezzeled from). I had been talking with her the entire time, but figured if she was cool with me being at her place, she'd reach out. I asked her, she talked to her boyfriend, and they agreed I could stay there.
Here's where I know I definitely entered the wrong... right after I lost the ability to care.
See turns out this friend was actually supremely toxic, and I guess I'd just never noticed. I was only there a couple of days when she said- honest to god as if testing the waters- "You know, the way you talk about your parents, I can see a lot of that in you." Y'all, I was not even talking about anything serious. She really said it just to see if she could get away with it.
Over time more of these things came out of her mouth for no reason other than to be hurtful. I learned that my friend chose to go for the kill the second a disagreement started. Not to mention how many times we would be arguing (not adamantly, but still) and I would tell her I didn't want to continue, as it had now become pointless. Neither of us would convince the other. But she refused to let me out of it, refused to let me walk away. These were not important arguments.
But she couldn't understand not winning. It was during one of these things that she said something. I actually don't remember what she said, but what my eyes did. A slight widening, immediate narrow and shift to the right. And then it was done. I no longer cared about her even a little. Didn't hate her, just... didn't care. The emotions on her had flipped off for good.
Now, I was there for a couple months, and I learned a few weeks in that I wasn't going to be able to work right then, because the PTSD (finally diagnosed) was in a full and raging swing. I couldn't function. I had blackouts, dissociation, and every time I went to the store I had an emotional flashback. I was trying to stabilize, but anxiety/ panic attacks were terrifyingly quick to sneak up on me.
I knew this. I told her, so she knew this. And later I was told it was my job to tell her boyfriend- despite her actively fielding all communication. I thought. Turns out she really wanted to make sure I felt beholden to her, by emphasizing how much her boyfriend didn't want me there, and how often he complained about it.
She knew I couldn't function. And I knew it was coming. So I started planning where I could go next. I'd been doing research for just a bit, when they sat me down.
If I was going to stay there, I needed to start pitching in financially. Fair. I couldn't get a job or function, but still fair all the same. He told me what he'd wanted me to pay and how it would escalate for the next 2 months and after they renewed their lease. And I really tried to make some strong eye contact with my "friend," because I knew 4 things her boyfriend didn't.
1) She'd been planning to leave him since February (we were at the beginning of July).
2) She'd been seeing another guy behind his back.
3) All the nasty, vile things she said about him behind his back. (Her favorite was "He's a little boy, and I need a man.")
And the big one:
4) She was leaving him when their lease was up in September.
For her to expect me to invest in a train headed for a cliff was absolutely absurd. He just accused me of trying to pressure her.
I asked them when I would have to be gone by. The implication was lost on them. "We wouldn't expect you to pay it right away."
Again. "Wellllll, you'd just have to have the money by the end of July."
I wasn't gonna spell it out for them.
Aight, so before I continue I do have to note that when I got to my friend's place- as absurd as it may sound- I didn't know I was an adult. A good majority of the time, I had this feeling of, "'I'm just a kid! Why won't anyone help me!" I was 25. But as weird as it is, I really didn't know.
But now I was faced with choices. Now I was making decisions about my own life. So it was starting to click together and the cogs were starting to turn (albeit with a bit of rust).
Now one of my friend and I's tiny arguments had been in regard to theme parks she wanted to visit this summer. I tried to explain to her why it was a bad idea, but ultimately she wouldn't listen. Something to note about this is I did know her. I knew she didn't like a big deal made over nothing. And I had told her during this that if she went, I would have to wear a mask and gloves around the house for a few weeks, and that I would be actively spraying surfaces with Lysol or the like.
I didn't hear anything after that.
Now, 4th of July weekend comes and she tells me that her boyfriend always gets their anniversary mixed up, so they might do something that weekend. Friday afternoon they both took the dog and flat out disappeared. Knowing how much she hated her boyfriend, and how she told me sex with him was always painful now, I actually got pretty worried that he might force her, or she'd feel pressured. But I couldn't do anything about it.
Late Saturday night I logged on to Facebook and read my friend's post:
"Riding the Hagrid! Best 4th of July ever!" -At Wizarding World of Harry Potter.
I had been planning to leave mid-month. And as shitty as it was, I was planning to leave without saying goodbye because I had no interest in farewells with her, and hadn't for some time.
But now, it was a hell no! scenario. I would NOT catch COVID because they decided to ride the Rona Roaster.
A couple days after they'd sat me down, I asked my friend if she wanted to talk about which things were mine and which were hers, as I had arrived with many of my own bowls and plates, and we shopped at the same big box store. It used to be a thing that we 'd go every time we hung out.
She immediately told me that I knew which things were hers, and began to claim more than actually was hers. They had stoneware bowls and plates that I knew weren't mine, but going for the kill on plastic? And I knew by the way she started in that this was just another win she wanted, and that she was completely detached from the real-world implications it would have for me. Ok, fine, fuck her. I'll take what I can best reason is mine.
But now they had left me with no idea they may be bringing Ms. Rona home with them. I immediately began packing to leave.
And here's where I will lose many of you: I committed the crime no one can stand. Everybody gets angry, and feels it is the Absolute Worst.
I stole. From them. Their offer? More than fair. Their letting me stay there? Very helpful.
It might help if you know that I went by a bit of a code as I did it: take nothing of emotional or monetary value, take nothing that will impede their ability to live, take nothing that will harm their ability to survive.
They had two guest bedrooms, and I'd been staying in one, which had 2 sheet sets to itself. And since before the conversation, I'd been planning on taking the blanket and a pillow, because if I found myself homeless come winter (keep in mind this is still homelessness, and that I was aware of enough), a blanket would help stave off the cold. But then, that was all.
But then this happened. I did take what plastic bowls, cups, and plates I could reason were mine. Along with my spoons, knife, and cookware (only what were mine- the only exception I think was a fork).
Thinking about it, their drinking water was absolutely fine and I had been drinking it the whole time with no problems. When you're homeless, water is king. I took all bottled water.
I took my tupperware, and substituted theirs where mine was in use (everybody said I had the fancy tupperware, anyway). I took the ramen. They told me that's what I could eat anyway, and they never touched it. When I took the sodas I was being a bit petty, but mostly I was in a hurry. And I'd need caffeine. I took the coffee (they didn't drink it, I did). A couple of old throws to help keep things like my coffeepot (yes, my coffeepot) from breaking. I think I took an old folding chair that they'd forgotten about, and I think the multivitamins her boyfriend never took, because in a pinch they could help me.
Please keep in mind this is not the watered-down version. I am having trouble, but I'm making myself say all because I am asking for some help.
Point about this is, a lot of it is useful if you're on the streets. And I did not know what my future would be. I left the key in its hiding spot.
And I left.
Friend's reaction, as could kind of be predicted was to go for there gullet. I caught wind she had immediately told my abusers where I'd been.
I didn't even care honestly. But I really thought her reaction was such a dumb move, that I did decide in that moment tit for tat.
I told her boyfriend the above numbered. I don't know what happened after that. Though I did end up reporting them to the ASPCA for their abuse of their dog. Seriously, she was just over a year old and they kept her in a crate too small for a dog her size, all day and all night, only letting her out in the morning and evening as it suited them. I felt really sorry for her when the boyfriend went to bed, and I walked in just a bit later and she was non-stop whimpering. After finally remembering the hernia they never bothered to take care of, and found her sitting in a glob of her own shit. They had rules about letting her out, and I wanted to leave the dog to deal, but I just.... couldn't.
As quiet as I could I remember letting her out for a bit, and cleaning up her cage thoroughly, before putting her back in. She quieted down after that. My friend wanted to chalk it up to attention-seeking, until I told her.
Why do I mention this? To virtue-signal? .... Not quite. To make myself feel better? Probably a little. Ultimately this was actually a shade of gray for me. I had person after person rejecting me when I was terrified and alone, and then so many turned to take in animals. After that I started calling pets, Emergency Meat.
And yet, while I am not starving to death, I treat animals with compassion.
I had a whole narrative and now I fucked it up. Anyway,
I've noticed people need only argue with me a certain way, need only talk to me a certain way, and all feeling immediately shuts off toward them. I've yet to see it turn back on.
And then I discard them. No matter what they've done for me, I discard them. Their feeling, their identities no longer matter to me. I had a friend do way more than what she did. This friend really helped me out, was extremely concerned with my safety and well-being. But when he started defending his notion that any time I say anything, I was inviting criticism- when he doubled-down again and again- when he interrupted me several times to answer points he thought I was making (and he was wrong), and then when he did so while adopting a mocking, sneering tone.... I just couldn't anymore. The way he was arguing was all too familiar.
But the thing is with him? It shut down on incident one. Only reason allowed him more time to make his case.
And I know that switch will flip for absolutely anyone.
And something else that I didn't admit to myself until today?
I stole from that now former friend for 2 reasons (at least as far as I can see it today):
The First: She was the first to flip that switch off for good, and so cease to matter.
The Second: Because I wanted to.
And I don't know what to do with this. Because sometimes- like now- all I have is Reason to say, "This isn't right."
And the fact that the only reason I'm taking it into consideration- not even bothered by it, is that it removes a path for my future from me (which was heavily involved in doing good)....
.... Only allows me to understand that I should be scared about this.
Because honestly, I feel sorely lacking in humanity. I feel cold, but decisive and confident. I feel like when I speak to people and become animated, it's just an old Robot Me making the motions it's used to.
So... anyone know what the fuck is going on?
submitted by ThroughItAllThrow to CPTSD [link] [comments]

2020.10.01 20:14 mona__mayfair Sex house live cam

Now, as updates go, if you were in a real legal situation, this would be utterly kosher. 'Can't say much, legal stuff going on, we are safe'.
But this is an update from someone who seemed to be an oddly specific troll who created a new account, with a flurry of weird activity (I'm in active labour AMA!) and then posted on JNMIL. Has a lot of children (one specified that despite having 5 kids, she had sex with her husband every day) and often referred to herself as a Romani (I hope I'm using the right terminology).
My question is, she says they are now in emergency housing... but why? They didnt live with their in laws (one of them had a lord for a husband but cant remember if it was this storyline) and they were UK based so the council will only house you if you hare homeless? It's all a bit weird. And very click-baity as the kidnapping discussion post was removed so looking through her history you cant find anything, so you have to ask her.
Edit - Original Truth Discussion on kidnapping post
Truth Discussion on similar usepost history/storyline
submitted by mona__mayfair to JustNoTruth [link] [comments]

2020.09.27 23:29 Hmack1 Boundary basics

You are about to build a "new house" of your own. You need instructions on how to live a better life. You have not done such a good job. Time to figure out what your screwing up.
Moral Constitution, the Constitution of your autonomy.
You sign this constitution as a declaration of commitment and in solidarity with yourself.When it is ready, You need to sit down with someone else, they are there to bear witness and be your notary. I review mine every year, on the anniversary I wrote my first one. I take it to the notary if there are any changes. That is how much it means to me.
This is a promise to yourself that you will be there FOR YOU from now on. Treat it with the reverence it deserves.
Your MC need to be written down. These RULES are the foundation of your life going forward.

  1. What you want to live with.
  2. What you can live with.
  3. What you choose to live with.
  4. What you grudgingly accept.
  5. What you cannot live with.
I have a Digital journal for each. I use the encrypted Penzu .
This is a fluid document as when I started out it was very black and white and wasn't nuanced enough to cover all aspects of interacting in other people lives. The MC is meant to become a part of who you are. This is meant to give you assurance as to your decisions and choices. You will be making thoughtful, reasoned decisions based on prior written plans. No matter the situation or how emotional your reaction or painful the situation, your written MC of who you are, will come shining thru.
When dealing with an addict for example:
Your first try of: No Porn, will become:
No porn, no cam girls ....then:
No porn, no live digital sex shows on any electronic device,. then no ogling the neighbors wife and no sexual stimulation at all on any device on the property.
You see how it can get? As the SO starts to see this progression and re-writes the details of the actual Boundary Contract over and over, it starts to sink in that maybe things are not going as well as they have been led to believe...This is in almost any life situation.
Hence the Morals Contract with yourself needs to change. Now you have a decision however long it may have taken, that going forward is based on reasoning, and you can abide by. You will stop accepting lies, manipulation and gaslighting the first time they show themselves because according to your Morals Contract and where you have those behaviors will know what to do.
Back to the boundary contract with the addict. I am very hard line. I want to see action. To me an addicts words are meaningless until after the first disclosure and verified lie detector test. Until then they are just kidding in my book.
When an addict is unwilling the boundaries are simple, you get out as fast as humanly possible if you don't want to be stuck with a digisexual or a technosexual for the rest of your life. He has made his sexual choice known. This is still disputed theory, but one I subscribe to.
If the addict is willing then they will follow thru with visible action. That visible action will show in numerous ways. It is the action plan that is chosen that will help dictate the boundaries you enact. The education either of you attains will help guide the recovery plans attempted.
Such as :
Boundary: THE ADDICT THEMSELVES MUST Acquire a CSAT within such and such time.
Consequence: In my case I left until he was able to prove he had attended his first 4 sessions.
follow-up details

  1. Follow doctors orders as to how many sessions per month for best outcome, work recovery as suggested "homework" (Books, podcasts..whatever), join whatever groups are suggests and attend as prescribed.
  2. All suggested therapies , homework, and other actions are to be written by the therapist or emailed from their office for the SO to have record of.
  3. All invoices are to be CC'd to SO's email as proof of attendance.
This will of course be an on-going list as in every therapy session there will be something added. It's not like the addict has to do everything suggested, just as long as they are doing what it is that helps the healing process for them and there is daily progress.
An SO must know what's going on. It is for the families protection. Addicts lie. It's what they do until they train themselves to not lie. This takes time. It's good not to trust an addict until they have earned it the hard way. They need to climb that mountain in order to strengthen those neuro pathways. No need to verbally abuse them or treat them like shit, but healthy skepticism with a big splash of trust but verify for a few years is truly going for Long Term Sobriety and rebuilt trust that might just be real and a solid foundation for a well built house. NO guarantees, ever.
The boundary contract is not a negotiation.
It is developed on the foundation of your personal Morals Constitution as you out-lined above and the strength of the addicts recovery work.
The reality is the addict themselves should be enacting their own controls per-preemptively to garner an extra level of trust, kind of the plastic surgeon's touch to a horrific scar, but most importantly to work a successful recovery.
These are other boundaries I have seen with out the extra details, I do not agree with many but family members with disorienting PTSD can get paranoid for a while and it takes quite a bit for them to feel safe in their own skins, nevertheless their own domains again. In order to try to gain control with each slip or relapse they add more and more barriers. Over time and with regained self-confidence and most will reduce boundaries to a lower level of control.
Cameras on the entire property including private spaces.
Motion mats to wake others if the addict leaves the bed in the middle of the night.
GPS monitoring
Phone change to an old fashioned dumb phone.
Removal of all digital devices with the exception of a community centrally located computer.
No gaming devices
Monitoring app on TV
Complete change of environment i.e. change properties/change states/change countries/change careers.
No electronic devices in private spaces, bathroom for example.
On demand lie detector tests.
Yearly disclosure verified with lie detector test.
Going to a divorce attorney and threatening a costly divorce. or divorce.
Threatening to take children away.
Threatening to release information of the addiction to family/friends/employer.
No sex for a specified time frame, or no sex ever again.
Live as roommates, buddy old pals, no more romantic partners. Friends only. Or live apart in separate residences.
In-house separation.
submitted by Hmack1 to loveafterporn [link] [comments]

2020.09.26 23:58 SnooMemesjellies1027 Sex house live cam

Ive completed all the objectives to become thane, but once i go to Eilsif and she declares me thane, my game crashes upon leaving the conversation.. any ideas?
Load Order:
Lanterns Of Skyrim - All In One - Main.esm
Skyrim Project Optimization - Full Version.esm
High Poly Head.esm
RealisticWaterTwo - Resources.esm
Gray Fox Cowl.esm
Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch.esp
Expressive Facegen Morphs.esl
ELFX - Exteriors.esp
Landscape Fixes For Grass Mods.esp
ELFX - Weathers.esp
Project Rainforest.esp
Cutting Room Floor.esp
Dolomite Weathers.esp
JKs Skyrim.esp
Weapons Armor Clothing & Clutter Fixes.esp
BO MS0101 by Team TAL.esp
Modern Clothes.esp
Sekiro - Genichiro Ashina.esp
[full_inu] Cainhurst Knight Set.esp
Hearthfires Houses Building Fix.esp
dD - Enhanced Blood Main.esp
dD-Larger Splatter Size.esp
Obsidian Mountain Fogs.esp
KS Hairdo's.esp
Cuyima 3DNPC - Redone.esp
dD-No Spinning Death Animation.esp
No PC Fall Damage.esp
Real Wildlife Skyrim 0.1.esp
EBT - skyBirds Patch.esp
ELFX - NoPlayerHomes.esp
Vigilant Voiced.esp
Particle Patch for ENB SSE.esp
WACCF_Armor and Clothing Extension.esp
Populated Lands Roads Paths Legendary.esp
Morning Fogs SSE.esp
Run For Your Lives.esp
OpulentOutfits_2017-SSE Replacer.esp
Bijin Warmaidens.esp
Bijin NPCs.esp
Bijin Wives.esp
Phenderix Magic Evolved.esp
JUSTICE - City Exteriors.esp
Recorder Follower Base.esp
Blacksmith Forge Water Fix SE USSEP.esp
JKs Skyrim_Cutting Room Floor_Patch.esp
Landscape Fixes For Grass mods - Cutting Room Floor Locations.esp
The Manipulator.esp
naruto overhaul.esp
Providence and Pestilence.esp
SVPortal by Mika999.esp
Apocalypse - Magic of Skyrim.esp
3DNPC - CRF Patch.esp
[full_inu] Yahar'gul Set.esp
DS3 Weapon Pack.esp
[SAM] Forsworn Loincloth Refit.esp
FNIS - Shocky Poses Humans.esp
FNIS - Shocky Poses Misc.esp
Poser Hotkeys.esp
WACCF Weapons - NWTA Patch.esp
[full_inu] Grave Warden Set.esp
[full_inu] Lord Nicholas Armor.esp
Dragonblade SE - Johnskyrim.esp
Slof's Goth Shop.esp
Slof's Just For Men.esp
GDOS - Glorious Solitude Door - Rotation Fix.esp
GDOS - Splendid Mechanized Dwemer Door.esp
The Forbidden Arts.esp
Uchiha Clan Additions.esp
Smoking Torches And Candles.esp
Remove Snowy Weather.esp
Wet&Cold - WaterFix - Addon.esp
attack commitment movement speed fluid.esp
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2020.09.21 00:47 Leather_Term Cam sex live house | Sep. 20, 2020.
The “Mighty Ducks” actor is running for president. He clears the air (sort of) to Tarpley Hitt about his ties to Jeffrey Epstein and more.
In the trailer for First Kid, the forgettable 1996 comedy about a Secret Service agent assigned to protect the president’s son, the title character, played by a teenage Brock Pierce, describes himself as “definitely the most powerful kid in the universe.” Now, the former child star is running to be the most powerful man in the world, as an Independent candidate for President of the United States.
Before First Kid, the Minnesota-born actor secured roles in a series of PG-rated comedies, playing a young Emilio Estevez in The Mighty Ducks, before graduating to smaller parts in movies like Problem Child 3: Junior in Love. When his screen time shrunk, Pierce retired from acting for a real executive role: co-founding the video production start-up Digital Entertainment Network (DEN) alongside businessman Marc Collins-Rector. At age 17, Pierce served as its vice president, taking in a base salary of $250,000.
DEN became “the poster child for dot-com excesses,” raising more than $60 million in seed investments and plotting a $75 million IPO. But it turned into a shorthand for something else when, in October of 1999, the three co-founders suddenly resigned. That month, a New Jersey man filed a lawsuit alleging Collins-Rector had molested him for three years beginning when he was 13 years old. The following summer, three teens filed a sexual-abuse lawsuit against Pierce, Collins-Rector, and their third co-founder, Chad Shackley. The plaintiffs later dropped their case against Pierce (he made a payment of $21,600 to one of their lawyers) and Shackley. But after a federal grand jury indicted Collins-Rector on criminal charges in 2000, the DEN founders left the country. When Interpol arrested them in 2002, they said they had confiscated “guns, machetes, and child pornography” from the trio’s beach villa in Spain.
While abroad, Pierce had pivoted to a new venture: Internet Gaming Entertainment, which sold virtual accessories in multiplayer online role-playing games to those desperate to pay, as one Wired reporter put it, “as much as $1,800 for an eight-piece suit of Skyshatter chain mail” rather than earn it in the games themselves. In 2005, a 25-year-old Pierce hired then-Goldman Sachs banker Steve Bannon—just before he would co-found Breitbart News. Two years later, after a World of Warcraft player sued the company for “diminishing” the fun of the game, Steve Bannon replaced Pierce as CEO.
Collins-Rector eventually pleaded guilty to eight charges of child enticement and registered as a sex offender. In the years that followed, Pierce waded into the gonzo economy of cryptocurrencies, where he overlapped more than once with Jeffrey Epstein, and counseled him on crypto. In that world, he founded Tether, a cryptocurrency that bills itself as a “stablecoin,” because its value is allegedly tied to the U.S. dollar, and the blockchain software company Like his earlier businesses, Pierce’s crypto projects see-sawed between massive investments and curious deals. When announced a smart contract software called EOS.IO, the company raised $4 billion almost overnight, setting an all-time record before the product even launched. The Securities and Exchange Commission later fined the company $24 million for violating federal securities law. After John Oliver mocked the ordeal, calling Pierce a “sleepy, creepy cowboy,” fired him. Tether, meanwhile, is currently under investigation by the New York Attorney General for possible fraud.
On July 4, Pierce announced his candidacy for president. His campaign surrogates include a former Cambridge Analytica director and the singer Akon, who recently doubled down on developing an anonymously funded, $6 billion “Wakanda-like” metropolis in Senegal called Akon City. Pierce claims to be bipartisan, and from the 11 paragraphs on the “Policy” section of his website it can be hard to determine where he falls on the political spectrum. He supports legalizing marijuana and abolishing private prisons, but avoids the phrase “climate change.” He wants to end “human trafficking.” His proposal to end police brutality: body cams.
His political contributions tell a more one-sided story. Pierce’s sole Democratic contribution went to the short-lived congressional run of crypto candidate Brian Forde. The rest went to Republican campaigns like Marco Rubio, Rick Perry, John McCain, and the National Right to Life Political Action Committee. Last year alone, Pierce gave over $44,000 to the Republican National Committee and more than $55,000 to Trump’s re-election fund.
Pierce spoke to The Daily Beast from his tour bus and again over email. Those conversations have been combined and edited for clarity.
You’re announcing your presidential candidacy somewhat late, and historically, third-party candidates haven’t had the best luck with the executive office. If you don’t have a strong path to the White House, what do you want out of the race?
I announced on July 4, which I think is quite an auspicious date for an Independent candidate, hoping to bring independence to this country. There’s a lot of things that I can do. One is: I’m 39 years old. I turn 40 in November. So I’ve got time on my side. Whatever happens in this election cycle, I’m laying the groundwork for the future. The overall mission is to create a third major party—not another third party—a third major party in this country. I think that is what America needs most. George Washington in his closing address warned us about the threat of political parties. John Adams and the other founding fathers—their fear for our future was two political parties becoming dominant. And look at where we are. We were warned.
I believe, having studied systems, any time you have a system of two, what happens is those two things come together, like magnets. They come into collision, or they become polarized and become completely divided. I think we need to rise above partisan politics and find a path forward together. As Albert Einstein is quoted—I’m not sure the line came from him, but he’s quoted in many places—he said that the definition of insanity is making the same mistake or doing the same thing over and over and over again, expecting a different result. [Ed. note: Einstein never said this.] It feels like that’s what our election cycle is like. Half the country feels like they won, half the country feels like they lost, at least if they voted or participated.
Obviously, there’s another late-comer to the presidential race, and that’s Kanye West. He’s received a lot of flak for his candidacy, as he’s openly admitted to trying to siphon votes away from Joe Biden to ensure a Trump victory. Is that something you’re hoping to avoid or is that what you’re going for as well?
Oh no. This is a very serious campaign. Our campaign is very serious. You’ll notice I don’t say anything negative about either of the two major political candidates, because I think that’s one of the problems with our political system, instead of people getting on stage, talking about their visionary ideas, inspiring people, informing and educating, talking about problems, mentioning problems, talking about solutions, constructive criticism. That’s why I refuse to run a negative campaign. I am definitely not a spoiler. I’m into data, right? I’m a technologist. I’ve got digital DNA. So does most of our campaign team. We’ve got our finger on the pulse.
Most of my major Democratic contacts are really happy to see that we’re running in a red state like Wyoming. Kanye West’s home state is Wyoming. He’s not on the ballot in Wyoming I could say, in part, because he didn’t have Akon on his team. But I could also say that he probably didn’t want to be on the ballot in Wyoming because it’s a red state. He doesn’t want to take additional points in a state where he’s only running against Trump. But we’re on the ballot in Wyoming, and since we’re on the ballot in Wyoming I think it’s safe—more than safe, I think it’s evident—that we are not here to run as a spoiler for the benefit of Donald Trump.
In running for president, you’ve opened yourself up to be scrutinized from every angle going back to the beginning of your career. I wanted to ask you about your time at the Digital Entertainment Network. Can you tell me a little bit about how you started there? You became a vice president as a teenager. What were your qualifications and what was your job exactly?
Well, I was the co-founder. A lot of it was my idea. I had an idea that people would use the internet to watch videos, and we create content for the internet. The idea was basically YouTube and Hulu and Netflix. Anyone that was around in the ‘90s and has been around digital media since then, they all credit us as the creators of basically those ideas. I was just getting a message from the creator of The Vandals, the punk rock band, right before you called. He’s like, “Brock, looks like we’re going to get the Guinness Book of World Records for having created the first streaming television show.”
We did a lot of that stuff. We had 30 television shows. We had the top most prestigious institutions in the world as investors. The biggest names. High-net-worth investors like Terry Semel, who’s chairman and CEO of Warner Brothers, and became the CEO of Yahoo. I did all sorts of things. I helped sell $150,000 worth of advertising contracts to the CEOs of Pepsi and everything else. I was the face of the company, meeting all the major banks and everything else, selling the vision of what the future was.
You moved in with Marc Collins-Rector and Chad Shackley at a mansion in Encino. Was that the headquarters of the business?
All start-ups, they normally start out in your home. Because it’s just you. The company was first started out of Marc’s house, and it was probably there for the first two or three months, before the company got an office. That’s, like, how it is for all start-ups.
were later a co-defendant in the L.A. County case filed against Marc Collins-Rector for plying minors with alcohol and drugs, in order to facilitate sexual abuse. You were dropped from the case, but you settled with one of the men for $21,600. Can you explain that?
Okay, well, first of all, that’s not accurate. Two of the plaintiffs in that case asked me if I would be a plaintiff. Because I refused to be a part of the lawsuit, they chose to include me to discredit me, to make their case stronger. They also went and offered 50 percent of what they got to the house management—they went around and offered money to anyone to participate in this. They needed people to corroborate their story. Eventually, because I refused to participate in the lawsuit, they named me. Subsequently, all three of the plaintiffs apologized to me, in front of audiences, in front of many people, saying Brock never did anything. They dismissed their cases.
Remember, this is a civil thing. I’ve never been charged with a crime in my life. And the last plaintiff to have his case dismissed, he contacted his lawyer and said, “Dismiss this case against Brock. Brock never did anything. I just apologized. Dismiss his case.” And the lawyer said, “No. I won’t dismiss this case, I have all these out-of-pocket expenses, I refuse to file the paperwork unless you give me my out-of-pocket expenses.” And so the lawyer, I guess, had $21,000 in bills. So I paid his lawyer $21,000—not him, it was not a settlement. That was a payment to his lawyer for his out-of-pocket expenses. Out-of-pocket expenses so that he would file the paperwork to dismiss the case.
You’ve said the cases were unfounded, and the plaintiffs eventually apologized. But your boss, Marc Collins-Rector later pleaded guilty to eight charges of child enticement and registered as a sex offender. Were you aware of his behavior? How do you square the fact that later allegations proved to be true, but these ones were not?
Well, remember: I was 16 and 17 years old at the time? So, no. I don’t think Marc is the man they made him out to be. But Marc is not a person I would associate with today, and someone I haven’t associated with in a very long time. I was 16 and 17. I chose the wrong business partner. You live and you learn.
You’ve pointed out that you were underage when most of these allegations were said to take place. Did you ever feel like you were coerced or in over your head while working at DEN?
I mean, I was working 18 hours a day, doing things I’d never done before. It was business school. But I definitely learned a lot in building that company. We raised $88 million. We filed our [form] S-1 to go public. We were the hottest start-up in Los Angeles.
In 2000, you left the country with Marc Collins-Rector. Why did you leave? How did you spend those two years abroad?
I moved to Spain in 1999 for personal reasons. I spent those two years in Europe working on developing my businesses.
Interpol found you in 2002. The house where you were staying reportedly contained guns, machetes, and child pornography. Whose guns and child porn were those? Were you aware they were in the house, and how did those get there?
My lawyers have addressed this in 32 pages of documentation showing a complete absence of wrongdoing. Please refer to my webpage for more information.
[Ed. Note: The webpage does not mention guns, machetes, or child pornography. It does state:“It is true that when the local police arrested Collins-Rector in Spain in 2002 on an international warrant, Mr. Pierce was also taken into custody, but so was everyone at Collins-Rector’s house in Spain; and it is equally clear that Brock was promptly released, and no charges of any kind were ever filed against Brock concerning this matter.”]
What do you make of the allegations against Bryan Singer? [Ed. Note: Bryan Singer, a close friend of Collins-Rector, invested at least $50,000 in DEN. In an Atlantic article outlining Singer’s history of alleged sexual assault and statutory rape, one source claimed that at age 15, Collins-Rector abused him and introduced him to Singer, who then assaulted him in the DEN headquarters.]
I am aware of them and I support of all victims of sexual assault. I will let America’s justice system decide on Singer’s outcome.

In 2011, you spoke at the Mindshift conference supported by Jeffrey Epstein. At that point, he had already been convicted of soliciting prostitution from a minor. Why did you agree to speak?
I had never heard of Jeffrey Epstein. His name was not on the website. I was asked to speak at a conference alongside Nobel Prize winners. It was not a cryptocurrency conference, it was filled with Nobel Prize winners. I was asked to speak alongside Nobel Prize winners on the future of money. I speak at conferences historically, two to three times a week. I was like, “Nobel Prize winners? Sounds great. I’ll happily talk about the future of money with them.” I had no idea who Jeffrey Epstein was. His name was not listed anywhere on the website. Had I known what I know now? I clearly would have never spoken there. But I spoke at a conference that he cosponsored.
What’s your connection to the Clinton Global Initiative? Did you hear about it through Jeffrey Epstein?
I joined the Clinton Global Initiative as a philanthropist in 2006 and was a member for one year. My involvement with the Initiative had no connection to Jeffrey Epstein whatsoever.
You’ve launched your campaign in Minnesota, where George Floyd was killed by a police officer. How do you feel about the civil uprising against police brutality?
I’m from Minnesota. Born and raised. We just had a press conference there, announcing that we’re on the ballot. Former U.S. Senator Dean Barkley was there. So that tells you, when former U.S. Senators are endorsing the candidate, right?
[Ed. note: Barkley was never elected to the United States Senate. In November of 2002, he was appointed by then Minnesota Governor Jesse Venture to fill the seat after Sen. Paul Wellstone died in a plane crash. Barkley’s term ended on Jan. 3, 2003—two months later.]
Yes, George Floyd was murdered in Minneapolis. My vice-presidential running mate Karla Ballard and I, on our last trip to Minnesota together, went to visit the George Floyd Memorial. I believe in law and order. I believe that law and order is foundational to any functioning society. But there is no doubt in my mind that we need reform. These types of events—this is not an isolated incident. This has happened many times before. It’s time for change. We have a lot of detail around policy on this issue that we will be publishing next week. Not just high-level what we think, not just a summary, but detailed policy.
You said that you support “law and order.” What does that mean?
“Law and order” means creating a fair and just legal system where our number one priority is protecting the inalienable rights of “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” for all people. This means reforming how our police intervene in emergency situations, abolishing private prisons that incentivize mass incarceration, and creating new educational and economic opportunities for our most vulnerable communities. I am dedicated to preventing crime by eliminating the socioeconomic conditions that encourage it.
I support accountability and transparency in government and law enforcement. Some of the key policies I support are requiring body-cams on all law enforcement officers who engage with the public, curtailing the 1033 program that provides local law enforcement agencies with access to military equipment, and abolishing private prisons. Rather than simply defund the police, my administration will take a holistic approach to heal and unite America by ending mass incarceration, police brutality, and racial injustice.
Did you attend any Black Lives Matter protests?
I support all movements aimed at ending racial injustice and inequality. I​ have not attended any Black Lives Matter protests.​ My running-mate, Karla Ballard, attended the March on Washington in support of racial justice and equality.
Your platform doesn’t mention the words “climate change.” Is there a reason for that?
I’m not sure what you mean. Our policy platform specifically references human-caused climate change and we have a plan to restabilize the climate, address environmental degradation, and ensure environmental sustainability.
[Ed. Note: As of writing the Pierce campaign’s policy platform does not specifically reference human-caused climate change.]
You’ve recently brought on Akon as a campaign surrogate. How did that happen? Tell me about that.
Akon and I have been friends for quite some time. I was one of the guys that taught him about Bitcoin. I helped make some videogames for him, I think in 2012. We were talking about Bitcoin, teaching him the ropes, back in 2013. And in 2014, we were both speaking at the Milken Global Conference, and I encouraged him to talk about how Bitcoin, Africa, changed the world. He became the biggest celebrity in the world, talking about Bitcoin at the time. I’m an adviser to his Akoin project, very interested in the work that he’s doing to build a city in Africa.
I think we need a government that’s of, for, and by the people. Akon has huge political aspirations. He obviously was a hugely successful artist. But he also discovered artists like Lady Gaga. So not only is he, himself, a great artist, but he’s also a great identifier and builder of other artists. And he’s been a great businessman, philanthropist. He’s pushing the limits of what can be done. We’re like-minded individuals in that regard. I think he’ll be running for political office one day, because he sees what I see: that we need real change, and we need a government that is of, for, and by the people.
You mentioned that you’re an adviser on Akoin. Do you have any financial investments in Akoin or Akon City?
I don’t believe so. I’d have to check. I have so much stuff. But I don’t believe that I have any economic interests in his stuff. I’d have to verify that. We’ll get back to you. I don’t believe that I have any economic interests. My interest is in helping him. He’s a visionary with big ideas that wants to help things in the world. If I can be of assistance in helping him make the world a better place, I’m all for it. I’m not motivated by money. I’m not running for office because I’m motivated by power. I’m running for office because I’m deeply, deeply concerned about our collective future.
You’ve said you’re running on a pro-technology platform. One week into your campaign last month, a New York appeals court approved the state Attorney General’s attempt to investigate the stablecoin Tether for potentially fraudulent activity. Do you think this will impact your ability to sell people on your tech entrepreneurship?
No, I think my role in Tether is as awesome as it gets. It was my idea. I put it together. But I’ve had no involvement in the company since 2015. I gave all of my equity to the other shareholders. I’ve had zero involvement in the company for almost six years. It was just my idea. I put the initial team together. But I think Tether is one of the most important innovations in the world, certainly. The idea is, I digitized the U.S. dollar. I used technology to digitize currency—existing currency. The U.S. dollar in particular. It’s doing $10 trillion a year. Ten trillion dollars a year of transactional volume. It’s probably the most important innovation in currency since the advent of fiat money. The people that took on the business and ran the business in years to come, they’ve done things I’m not proud of. I’m not sure they’ve done anything criminal. But they certainly did things differently than I would do. But it’s like, you have kids, they turn 18, they go out into the world, and sometimes you’re proud of the things they do, and sometimes you shake your head and go, “Ugh, why did you do that?” I have zero concerns as it relates to me personally. I wish they made better decisions.
What do you think the investigation will find?
I have no idea. The problem that was raised is that there was a $5 million loan between two entities and whether or not they had the right to do that, did they disclose it correctly. There’s been no accusations of, like, embezzlement or anything that bad.
[Ed. Note: The Attorney General’s press release on the investigation reads: “Our investigation has determined that the operators of the ‘Bitfinex’ trading platform, who also control the ‘tether’ virtual currency, have engaged in a cover-up to hide the apparent loss of $850 million dollars of co-mingled client and corporate funds.”]
But there’s been some disclosure things, that is the issue. No one is making any outrageous claims that these are people that have done a bunch of bad—well, on the internet, the media has said that the people behind the business may have been manipulating the price of Bitcoin, but I don’t think that has anything to do with the New York investigation. Again, I’m so not involved, and so not at risk, that I’m not even up to speed on the details.
[Ed note: A representative of the New York State Attorney General told Forbes that he “cannot confirm or deny that the investigation” includes Pierce.]
We’ve recently witnessed the rise of QAnon, the conspiracy theory that Hollywood is an evil cabal of Satanic pedophiles and Trump is the person waging war on them. You mentioned human trafficking, which has become a cause for them. What are your thoughts on that?
I’ve watched some of the content. I think it’s an interesting phenomenon. I’m an internet person, so Anonymous is obviously an organization that has been doing interesting stuff. It’s interesting. I don’t have a big—conspiracy theory stuff is—I guess I have a question for you: What do you think of all of it, since you’re the expert?
You know, I think it’s not true, but I’m not running for president. I do wonder what this politician [Georgia congressional candidate Marjorie Taylor Greene], who’s just won her primary, is going to do on day one, once she finds out there’s no satanic cabal room.
Wait, someone was running for office and won on a QAnon platform, saying that Hollywood did—say what? You’re the expert here.
She won a primary. But I want to push on if we only have a few minutes. In 2006, your gaming company IGE brought on Steve Bannon as an investor. Goldman later bought out most of your stock. Bannon eventually replaced you as CEO of Affinity. You’ve described him as your “right-hand man for, like, seven years.” How well did you know Bannon during that time?
Yes, so this is in my mid-twenties. He wasn’t an investor. He worked for me. He was my banker. He worked for me for three years as my yield guide. And then he was my CEO running the company for another four years. So I haven’t worked with Steve for a decade or so. We worked in videogame stuff and banking. He was at Goldman Sachs. He was not in the political area at the time. But he was a pretty successful banker. He set up Goldman Sachs Los Angeles. So for me, I’d say he did a pretty good job.
During your business relationship, Steve Bannon founded Breitbart News, which has pretty consistently published racist material. How do you feel about Breitbart?
I had no involvement with Breitbart News. As for how I feel about such material, I’m not pleased by any form of hate-mongering. I strongly support the equality of all Americans.
Did you have qualms about Bannon’s role in the 2016 election?
Bannon’s role in the Trump campaign got me to pay closer attention to what he was doing but that’s about it. Whenever you find out that one of your former employees has taken on a role like that, you pay attention.
Bannon served on the board of Cambridge Analytica. A staffer on your campaign, Brittany Kaiser, also served as a business director for them. What are your thoughts on their use of illicitly-obtained Facebook data for campaign promotional material?
Yes, so this will be the last question I can answer because I’ve got to be off for this 5:00 pm. But Brittany Kaiser is a friend of mine. She was the whistleblower of Cambridge Analytica. She came to me and said, “What do I do?” And I said, “Tell the truth. The truth will set you free.”
[Ed. Note: Investigations in Cambridge Analytica took place as early as Nov. 2017, when a U.K. reporter at Channel 4 News recorded their CEO boasting about using “beautiful Ukranian girls” and offers of bribes to discredit political officials. The first whistleblower was Christopher Wylie, who disclosed a cache of documents to The Guardian, published on Mar. 17, 2018. Kaiser’s confession ran five days later, after the scandal made national news. Her association with Cambridge Analytica is not mentioned anywhere on Pierce’s campaign website.]
So I’m glad that people—I’m a supporter of whistleblowers, people that see injustice in the world and something not right happening, and who put themselves in harm’s way to stand up for what they believe in. So I stand up for Brittany Kaiser.
Who do you think [anonymous inventor of Bitcoin] Satoshi Nakamoto is?
We all are Satoshi Nakamoto.
You got married at Burning Man. Have you been attending virtual Burning Man?
I’m running a presidential campaign. So, while I was there in spirit, unfortunately my schedule did not permit me to attend.
OP note: please refer to the original article for reference links within text (as I've not added them here!)
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2020.09.20 19:03 Mistresspreslie Why sex workers support Donald Trump

Interesting isn't it?🧐
Republicans are conservative, that's just a fact. And sex workers are just . . . Not. Lol! A conservative sex worker is one who conceals their face while posting naughty pictures online.
But why do so many sex workers lean towards President Trump versus Joe Biden?
I was a stripper for nine years, now running an onlyfans site & online webcamming. Throughout my whole career I have been a diehard Republican.
I am from New Jersey which is a very liberal state, but I do come from a Republican county. The area I live in has a lot of wealth and they don't want to see more of it go to taxes. So that has always stuck with me, Democrats will raise taxes. Even if they raised property taxes last year, they will raise them again this year
I started dancing in 2011 under the Obama administration. I was 18 years old when I started, and all of the "older" strippers had told me that before the recession they were killing it. Once the recession hit they had to fight to make money. At this time in 2011 things were slowly getting better. People were getting out of that recession mentality; "save every penny because you could lose your job tomorrow." But the industry had no way recovered to pre-2008 standards.
I had gotten really lucky. I was 18 years old "fresh meat" and I was going to make money just because I was the new girl. But I watched a lot of girls struggle to make $200 on a weekend night that should bring in $600+ easily.
I had two good summers, in 2012 and 2013. I was a new face, I was still a "teen," like I said, "fresh meat" sells better. 2014 was horrible! I was only 21 years old and it was an awful summer, no one was making money. The Jersey shore was dead, rentals were empty. Hurricane Sandy hit in November 2012, most businesses were back up and running in the summer of 2013. Some had yet to reopen in 2013, but by the summer of 2014 All of the businesses had re-opened, all of the rentals have been fixed and open for business. But only half were booked ON WEEKENDS. Weekdays were absolutely dead. Our club being 3 miles from the beach relied heavily on this summer traffic. During 2014 there waa no difference between summer and winter. Both were the same, disappointing. Many of my friends were struggling, needing to work 6 days a week just to get by.
2015 got a little bit better, but not much. And then a big change came in 2016.
2016 was an election year, and yes strippers talk politics. Now 23 years old and dancing for five years I was already a veteran. I was one of the highest earners at the club and people would often come to me for money making advice. I also love talking politics, history, and proving people wrong; so the dressing room hosted A LOT of political debates. "Welcome to debate club, strippers edition." 😂
A lot of the new, younger girls were very excited about Hillary Clinton running for President. They were hoping that she would win, that she would legalize marijuana, that she would "change" this country. But the girls who had been dancing for years, the girls who were making a lot of money. . . They were all for candidate Trump.
"Why would you vote for Trump?" Was a question I was frequently asked.
"Trump wants to make abortion illegal!" "Trump will never legalize marijuana!" Those were the biggest complaints about Trump.
As for abortion, I believe the woman has the right to choose. But I also know politics. I know that Trump is from New York and he's not super conservative, he is not from the Bible belt, he is never going to waste his time making abortions illegal in this country. He knows they are a necessary evil. But will he say he is against it? Absolutely, he needs to please those ultra conservative voters. Something A LOT OF PEOPLE don't understand.
As for marijuana, I think we need the extra revenue so that the Democrats could spend it. But would Hillary Clinton have been able to make it legal with a Republican controlled Senate. (And house at the time I believe). . I don't think so.
And like I stated the girls who were making a lot of money, who had invested in other businesses and were getting ready to retire, or who had owned real estate. . . They were all voting for Trump.
"The Trump girls," did not want to pay more money in taxes in a very high tax state. They wanted to be able to use their extra income to invest in other opportunities, to invest in their kids college education, or go to school themselves. Of course the younger Clinton voters weren't even claiming taxes, so they didn't care how much she raised our taxes. They wanted to collect more welfare because their income was totally off the books.
President Trump ended up winning the election, and very quickly Something Happened. The stock market started going up. As mentioned, we are from a republican wealthy county in New Jersey. A lot of these men work in New York on Wall Street, or are heavily invested in the market. Once the stock market went up, the club was popping! The winter of 2016-2017 was amazing. People felt more secure to spend money, Guys had no problem dropping $3,4,500 in the VIP room. We finally had a huge shower of singles on stage for the first time in forever. And this was only the winter.
Summer 2017 came and it was my best summer ever. It was my best summer even though by mid august I was barely working as I was suffering horrible morning sickness when I got pregnant with my first child. $1500 could be made in 2-3 hours on a weekend night. If you got really lucky it could be made as a tip in a 15 minute VIP room. 2017 was the summer of money!
My life took a turn however. After I had my son I really didn't work that much. I would go in one or two days a month. But it was still enough for me to be able to buy my very first apartment! If I had worked like that during the Obama years, I would have been struggling to pay rent. However I was paying a mortgage and saving money.
I basically call myself semi-retired now. And now I am entering my third trimester with my second baby. But from august 2017-january 2020 on a two day a month schedule, I was able to save enough money to put a down payment on a bigger home.
The taxes in this state are ridiculous, and we will never vote in a Republican governor to lower our taxes. But the last thing I need is higher federal taxes.
Instead of debating The legalization of marijuana, I am now having debates about college education for my kids. Why wouldn't I vote for Joe Biden who believes in free college education? I am going to have two children to put through college. And that answer is very simple. My kids are young. I have 15 1/2 more years to save for my older son and I started saving for him a week after he was born. Even if I only put away $2000 a year, he will have $36,000 once he turns 18; enough to pay for his first year. Invested in the S&P 500 that could easily be $70,000. What if I have a good year and I could invest another thousand dollars?
Joe Biden wants to give us free community college which is what? 5K a year? Even if he did make four year colleges free, would they be only state schools? Im sure private schools wouldn't be free. At rutgers the current tuition in-state is about $10,000/year. 4 years would be $40,000. With what I am saving right now, I would only be $4000 short of covering all four years of college. That is not calculating gains from the market.
But what if my taxes were raised another $2000 a year? That money would be going to the government instead of saving for my son. What if he increased taxes to 50%? Not only would I not be able to save money for my kids I wouldn't be able to save money for short term goals.
I recently became an only fans creator, taking advantage of my pregnancy and the fetish industry. Some of these woman are making $300,000+ a year. I have been much more successful in a month than I ever thought I would.
My reason for starting this work was to help my husband fund our home renovation. I thought I would be able to help with little things, but now I am going to be able to help with bigger things and save money for my kids college fund.
As I am learning more about the online sex worker industry, I see all of the expenses these girls have. They need to buy good cameras and film equipment. Constantly on their phones, you need good service and a lot of data. New content is a must for success, hence new outfits, backdrops, toys, props, and shoes for the foot fetish guys!
All of the money needs to be claimed INCLUDING tips. It's not like being a stripper where the majority of your money goes unclaimed, in fact it can't even be tracked because it's cash tipped to you behind a closed VIP room curtain. Every dime an Only Fans creator makes is carefully logged and must be claimed at the end of the year. And let's not forget Only Fans takes 20% of your earnings off the top, to run their website and because of the high fees credit card companies charge because it is considered a "high risk industry."
So creators lose 20% off the top. I would say they easily spend 10% of their income on work related expenses for making their content better. Some pay for promotions so that their pages grow faster. Others NEED assistants or hire other experts. We employ a lot of other people! But 30% is gone right away.
Then you have to pay taxes, depending on your state and your tax bracket it could be as little as 15% and as much as 40%! Let's say we need to pay 25% in taxes just like a lot of people. That's 55% of our money gone.
Let's say you're doing pretty well on only fans making $5000 a month, $60,000/year. $12,000 you'll never even see. $6000 goes towards all of the expenses and is tax deductible. And now you have to pay taxes on $42,000. $10,500 (25%) and $16,800(40%) doesn't seem like a big difference, but it is when you put in so much hard work. Imagine making $60,000 but only having $25,000 to show for it after taxes. It makes it not even worth it.
Even if you're working 12 hours a day/7 days a week and making $200,000/year on Only fans, having less than $100,000 in your pocket at the end of the day is complete BS!
Some might ask, why not switch sites? Live cam sites take 40% or more of your money! If you're a stay at home mom like me, you can't stream live on camera while your kid is home or awake.
So now that I got into the financials of online sex work, you can understand why so many sex workers support President Trump. Unlike a regular job, we have to pay a fee just to make money. We don't want our taxes raised on top of it!
Then there are the customers. We rely on customers to put their credit card into a Onlyfans, and spend anywhere from $3 to $20 a month on a creator's subscription profile.
Despite many people losing their jobs because of Covid, the site has been busier than ever. Instead of going out to clubs, movies, or taking girls on dates, guys have been going on dates with their favorite online sex worker. but not everybody is able to do that at the moment.
If you are struggling, if you can't pay your bills, you're not going to be spending money on online porn, let's be real. Covid and the impact it has had on jobs is not the Presidents' fault. I'm thinking back to that horrible summer of 2014 when Obama was in office. How slow would Only Fans be if this was 2014. With so many extra creators trying to make money because they also have lost jobs, there would be very few girls making big money, and the majority making nothing. Right now you have a lot of girls making a lot of money, a lot of girls making a decent living, and just a few making pennies.
I think President Trump has given customers confidence that the economy is going to turn around, that jobs are going to come back. He has also given them an amazing economy over the past few years that has allowed people to fill their savings accounts. We are not in the "save every penny mentality," that I saw in 2011 when things were recovering from a big recession.
That's Another reason many sex workers support Trump. He gives clients the confidence to spend their hard earned money.
There are many issues that sex workers do not agree with Republicans on. The biggest I could think of is abortion & the woman's right to choose. Prostitution is another big one, especially for me. I would love to see legal prostitution in New Jersey one day! I would be so proud if my son could own New Jersey's first legal brothel. The reasons why I support LEGAL prostitution is a totally different argument, but Republicans would never support that! Yet I still side with Republicans.
We side with Republicans because we want to have better lives not only for ourselves but for our children. And in this country you need money to have a better life. You need money to move from a tiny two bedroom apartment into a simple townhouse. You need money to invest in your children's future so they don't need to be sex workers. You need money to invest in another business so you don't need to sext all day long. And you need money if you want to clear your head and take a vacation or go to the spa for a day! And that money does better in the hands of individual citizens to choose what they want to do with it, versus in the hands of the government!
If you have the "guts" to be a sex worker you should be compensated. It is a huge industry that makes billions of dollars, and provides jobs for millions of people. (and I say GUTS because not everyone can have the confidence to go online and show their body to strangers. Not everyone could act. Not everyone could stand tall and tell the world, I send nude videos for a living.)
I could stand tall and say it! I am a sex worker! I work really hard for my money! I show my body on camera to random men, and I'm good at it! And I don't want Joe Biden to come in and raise taxes under the farce of "free college." I don't need Joe Biden to make everyday working men lose confidence in our economy. And I certainly don't need to spend priceless time to decipher what the hell Joe Biden is trying to say to me (sorry I had to add that! 😂) And if the day ever comes that I decide I don't want to do this work anymore, I know President Trump has made the economy great and could make it even better, allowing me to find another well-paying job to support my family.
Written by me: -Mistress Preslie 🖤💋
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2020.09.15 04:11 anothershitposter2 Sex work is not a viable long term career option

I don’t give a fuck what you do with your life or you body. I’m not your mom,I’m not your dad, and I’m not the law so it’s none of my business. BUT I’m tired of people on this site acting like living solely off of sex work is a good long term career choice.
Let’s say you live completely off of Only Fans for 5-10 years. You’re raking in dough like nobody’s business and you’re having fun doing it. That’s great. But eventually you’ll lose popularity or you’ll tire from the profession and want/need to get a career. Even worse would be getting into an accident and having your body be horribly disfigured from day a house fire. You’re either out of work or your audience is limited. Saying “my job was Only Fans for 5-10 years” does not look good on a job application. Essentially you have a 5-10 year hole in your job experience. You’re in your late 20’s now and you have no real job experience. Now of course many of you are shouting “but sex work is a real job!” yes but you don’t develop marketable skills that employers outside of sex work consider valuable.
Now let’s say you still look fine up until your mid to late 40’s and you’re still stripping, camming, or doing porn and you’ve left milf and entered into gilf then your audience drastically decreases. Unless you’re Lisa Ann famous you’re really fucked because once again you’re lacking experience from non sex work jobs. Now you’re in your lates 40’s looking for entry level jobs. Once you’ve work at these positions for a long enough time to consider moving up and out you’re too close to retirement for many employers to want to hire you.
If you can manage to build a career and do sex work at the same time then more power to you. As long as your employers don’t care about either job then you’ve got it made. But if you think you can make it long term in the sex industry you’re horrible mistaken. All your doing is robbing your future self of work and money. The chances of you becoming famous like Mia Khalifa or Lisa Ann are very slim. But in the end I’m not your mom, I’m not your dad, and I’m not the law so do want you want.
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2020.09.11 22:13 smsussma Sex house live cam

A little over a year ago my girlfriend, Charlotte Campbell, died in a fiery head-on collision with a drunk driver. As DD of the night, she was coming home from a college party after dropping off a few friends, when her tiny 2016 Toyota Camry was blindsided by an 18-wheeler driving on the wrong side of the highway. By the time police arrived at the scene, Charlotte’s body was charred and burned beyond recognition.
Turns out the guy’s BAC was .13. He’ll be in prison for life and I’ll never see my girlfriend again. The only thing that seemed to survive the crash besides the degenerate who killed her, was the relationship bracelet that I surprised her with on our 4 year anniversary. It was the left half of a heart in rose gold with her initials engraved into it, while mine was a matching piece that fit into hers like a deciphered puzzle. Her remains were cremated in an urn and buried in a plot at Saint Agatha Memorial Cemetery. The bracelet went with her, so that she always has a piece of me wherever she went.
A year later, after graduating college, I got my first job, and rented out my first home. I was still completely confused by my girlfriend’s sudden death. It’s mainly the irony of it all that seemed incredulous. My girlfriend was never a heavy drinker to begin with and was always smart behind the wheel. So, it seemed all too unsettling that her life was taken by a drunk driver. I eventually concluded that some things can never be fully explained. Constantly obsessing and overanalyzing Charlotte’s death was counterproductive and stalled the recovery process.
One night, a tinge of horniness swept over me. I hadn’t had the emotional capacity to date or have sex in over a year. That desire in me remained dormant. With this sudden wave of horniness came guilt. Guilt that I was craving sex without Charlotte, guilt that I was craving romance in my life without her, and guilt that I may be ready to start seeing other people. I was pretty hesitant about the idea at first but decided that maybe, it was time? Maybe, I was using my girlfriend’s death as an excuse to shield me from the fear of falling in love again and the potential grief of ever losing that person.
I decided to start small, something with no strings attached and required minimal emotional investment. I had never used dating apps before but quickly opened up to the idea. That night, while looking into some dating apps to download, I got an email notification about an app called “Curio.” Puzzled, I clicked on it. The email read, “Welcome to Curio! Are you CURIO-us to meet that special someone? Click the link below to download our free dating app.”
Again, I didn’t know too much about dating apps besides the standard Tinder and Bumble, so I decided to give this one a go. I clicked on the link, which redirected me to the app store to download. Its icon was a black square with a peculiar red “C” in its center. I double tapped on it and moments later I found myself filling out basic questions about myself. My name, my age, I even spent about 10 minutes digging through my camera roll to find six solid pictures of myself. Upon searching, I discovered a few old photos of Charlotte and I, that I had completely forgotten about.
Some of these included: a picture of us in straw hats and leis during our spring break trip to Cancun, a picture of us kissing in front of the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, and a picture of us in matching USA tees during a beer olympics game, junior year. That picture in Cancun brought back a vivid memory of us coming back to our hotel that night, belligerently drunk, and calling ourselves the “Tequila twins.” From then on, before going to any event involving alcohol, we would say to each other, “The Tequila Twins are back at it again!”
The nostalgia was all too fleeting. To avoid tearing up, I quickly rounded up a few solo pictures to post on my profile. Moments later, I was presented with some profile cards. Most of the women on this app were pretty average looking, 6’s at best. I was continuously swiping left for a while before I gave up and decided to maybe try again tomorrow. It was getting pretty late and I needed to be up early for work the next morning.
To my surprise, I received a notification from Curio the following day that read, “Congratulations! You have a new match.” I was slightly confused by this, namely because I had no recollection of swiping right on anybody last night. However, I was pretty tired and assumed that I could have easily swiped right on somebody without even paying attention. Curious to see who this mystery woman was, I double tapped on the notification and was redirected to her profile.
However, I was horrified to see that this woman appeared to be a carbon copy of Charlotte. Upon further examination, this person appeared to share her same name and age as well. Hastily, I surveyed her profile and skimmed through her photos with a quickness. As these pictures became very familiar to me, my face grew hot with anger.
What sicko creates a fake profile of a dead person? I thought to myself.
Before I could message this asshole my two cents, I was interrupted by the user.
“Hey :)” they said.
“Whoever is doing this, please take this profile down immediately! You think this is funny??? What kind of fucking psychopath does something like this?” I shot back.
“Cam, it’s me :) Char.”
I could feel my heart throbbing out of my chest as beads of sweat spawned across my forehead.
My hands shook as I messaged back, “Please, fucking stop this now!”
“But I miss my tequila twin :((((”
At this point, I could barely breathe. I felt myself numbing out of reality as a sudden ringing in my ears took over my senses.
“Who the fuck is this?!”
“Cam, it’s me. Char! Please talk to me, babe :[”
Instantly, I shut off the app. I was so caught up in the madness of it all that I hadn’t realized that I was running late for work. I quickly threw on some clothes and rushed out of the house, writing off this mishap as some sick, twisted, joke.
As I arrived to work 10 minutes late, I was chastised by my verbally abusive manager for my tardiness.
“This is the second time this month, Cameron! Don’t let it fucking happen again!” he spat.
“Yes, sir.” I muttered, returning to my desk in a huff.
“Ahh don’t take it personally, man.” comforted my co-worker, Rob. “Big Ted’s just angrier than usual because of the um....divorce.” he whispered.
“Divorce?” I scoffed. “Isn’t he on his like, third wife already?”
“Fourth, actually.” Rob corrected. “First wife, cheated. Second wife got deported back to Russia. Third wife had a heroin overdose. And I think this one was just a rebound tired of his shit.”
“I hate corporate America.” I jeered, turning on my desktop. “By the way, have you ever heard of that new dating app, Curio?”
“Nope, I’m more of a Tinder type of guy. But now I’m...CURIO. HA, get it?! Curio...curious?” Rob joked.
I chuckled nervously while scrolling through my work email, hoping that my corporate job would calm me down and take my mind off of things. As I refreshed my inbox, a new email appeared from Curio about how I received another notification from the app. Again, I was a little confused about how this app somehow got access to my work email and was sending me notifications through it. Hesitantly, I clicked on the notification which revealed a picture message from “Charlotte.”
It was a photo of my back porch with a note that read: “The new place looks great...without me :/ We were supposed to move in together. Left a little gift at your door since you don’t want to talk to me anymore...”
While reading that note, I could feel my heart picking up speed as a wave of anxiety crashed over me. Clumsily, I stumbled right out of my desk chair and backed away from my computer in horror. As I fumbled around the floor for support, Rob helped me back up on my feet.
“Whoa, you okay man? You don’t look so good.” Rob asked, concerned.
“I-I gotta go, it’s an emergency.” I replied. Quickly, I shut off my desktop and rushed out of the building with fear in one hand and my jacket in the other. The ride to my house seemed to drag on forever. Yet, by the time I parked into my driveway my heart was thumping wildly out of my chest and I would do anything to be right back in my office.
I grabbed an old baseball bat from my trunk, and slowly approached the front porch. I was surprised to find the door still locked. Nonetheless, I searched every nook and cranny of my house for any intruders and thankfully, I was alone. Everything appeared exactly as I had left it and nothing was stolen.
I took a deep breath and laughed a bit. I couldn’t believe that I was allowing some internet troll to drive me nuts.
My location on the app is on, they could’ve easily discovered my location on Google Maps, taken a screenshot of my back porch, and sent me that message to try to mess with me. I reasoned.
Thus, I decided to return back to work and locked up on my way out. As I exited my home through the back porch, I was interrupted by a light crunching noise beneath my foot. I paused and lifted the heel of my shoe to discover a shimmering object dangling from it. After retrieving this mysterious object, my heart sunk upon closer examination.
It appeared to be a rose gold bracelet with the left half of a heart swaying from it, and the initials “C.C” engraved into the pendant. I twisted my wrist, revealing the matching piece. I suddenly realized that I hadn’t taken it off since the funeral. I fit my half of the pendant into the other piece, revealing a perfectly mended heart. Dazed and confused, I shook my head and abandoned the bracelet as quickly as I retrieved it. It landed back onto the doormat as I rushed back to my car with tears in my eyes.
Swiftly, I reached into my back pocket for my phone and aggressively began typing out a message to “Charlotte.”
“Please tell me who the fuck this is, right now?!”
I received a reply back in seconds.
“Cam, why are you mad at me? :( I miss you so much and this is how you treat your girlfriend?”
“This isn’t fucking funny! I’m filing a report.”
Quickly, I reported the account for “false identity”, unmatched the user, and deleted the app from my phone, altogether. I ended up crying in the front seat of my car for a bit before mustering up the strength to drive back to work. Luckily, Big Ted was out for the rest of the day at a press conference. So, I didn’t have to suffer any consequences for running out of the building with no explanation.
By the end of the day I felt pretty weighed down by stress and grief that I ended up passing out on my couch for a few hours. I was eventually woken up by the melody of my mobile ringtone. I checked my lockscreen for the caller ID, which displayed Rob’s contact.
I picked up and yawned into the speaker, “Hey, man. What’s up?”
“Yo, Cam! Hope I’m not interrupting anything, was just wondering what the name of that dating app was that you were talking to me about earlier?” he asked. “I’m getting so tired of these same old bullshit apps.”
I stretched a bit and scratched my head. As I perched myself up on the couch, I replied, “Yeah, it’s called ‘Curio.’ C-U-R-I-O.”
There was a brief pause as Rob quietly echoed the spelling into the speaker while tapping away into the app store search bar.
“Hm...that’s weird.” he said.
“What?” I asked.
“Can’t seem to find it anywhere. You sure I got the spelling right?”
“Yeah, it’s C-U-R-I-O. Curio.” I repeated.
“Hm. Yeah, bro. Can’t seem to find it anywhere. No worries, though. This phone’s pretty old. Could just be a glitch or something. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep tight!”
Suddenly, I was stricken with curiosity and began searching up the app on Google. Something, I probably should’ve done much sooner. I was surprised to find absolutely no information on the app, despite constantly receiving emails from the company and having downloaded it onto my phone. I even tried different variations of spelling and keywords to no avail. Defeated, I dragged myself up to bed and found solace in the fact that Curio wasn’t my problem anymore.
Yet, I was horrified to discover the app reinstalled onto my phone the next morning. I had also received another “Congratulations! You have a new match.” notification. After double tapping on the alert, I was redirected to the profile of my match. My face hardened and lost its color after realizing who it was. I had somehow rematched with “Charlotte” overnight.
“How?” I muttered to myself. Moments later I received a video message from the user with a note. As I squinted my eyes to get a better look, it appeared to be a video of my dimly lit room. The camera quality was terrible but whoever was filming approached my bed at such a distance, that the light of their camera flash fully illuminated the side of my face as I was sleeping in my bed last night.
Beneath it, the user wrote, “You’re so handsome when you sleep ;)”
At this point, It felt as if I was losing touch with reality. It was time to take this matter to authorities. I sped to the police station before work and after arriving, I aggressively slammed my phone down in front of two officers at the front desk.
“Hi, I believe I am being stalked by someone pretending to be my dead girlfriend on a dating app.” I blurted.
The two officers exchanged befuddled looks before one of them spoke up. “Slow down, son. Can you tell me your name and what app you’re even talking about?” he asked.
“Yeah, My name’s Cameron Hill. My girlfriend, Charlotte Campbell, passed away a little over a year ago and somebody on this app, ‘Curio’ is harassing me and pretending to be her. I think they know where I live. They’ve been sending pictures and videos of me, as well as the inside and outside of my house.” I replied, sternly. I unlocked my phone for them and opened the app.
Both officers narrowed their eyes as they inspected the screen for a few moments.
“You ever try Tinder, kid?” chuckled one of them—a stocky man who was suffering from a pretty extreme case of premature balding. I didn’t laugh. The goofy expression on his face faded rather quickly.
“Yeah, I don’t know what’s going on here but this app keeps freezing up and closing before I can even see anything.” said the other officer—a better looking version of his partner.
“You probably don’t have nothing to worry about, though. Usually these type of cyberbullying scenarios end up being carried out by a bunch of punks behind the scenes.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Cyberbullying? Sir, with all due respect. I believe that I am being stalked and hunted.”
“Listen, kid. If you experience any more threats, you have our number.”
I glared angrily at both of them, before snatching my phone and storming out of there. A complete waste of my time. I arrived at work five minutes late and received yet another verbal beating by my boss.
“You’re so fucking unqualified for this job, it isn’t even funny. If it weren’t for your rich ass father buying your way into every opportunity in life, you would be living on the streets. Lately, you’ve been offering absolutely nothing to this company. STOP SHOWING UP LATE!” he spat. I grit my teeth and forced a calm response, “Yes, sir. Won’t happen again.”
Luckily, work flew by and I was home before I knew it. Lately, the mental exhaustion of my life put me to sleep on my couch as soon as I got home. However, I found myself waking up a few hours later to a Curio message notification from “Charlotte.”
“It’s been three days, Cam. I miss you so much :/ Can we please meet up tonight?” she asked.
I then offered a speedy reply. “I don’t know who this is...But Charlotte Campbell, the person who you are impersonating is dead. Gone. Buried at Saint Agatha’s Cemetery miles and miles away from here. Now please, leave me alone.”
I then closed my eyes and massaged my temples for a few moments before my phone buzzed again. It was a much more grim message this time.
“You have until 9 PM tonight to come find me, or I’ll drag you to Hell with me.”
Once again, that wave of anxiety and dread swept over me as my heart thumped out of my chest. I took a second to think, before pulling out Google. I attempted to do a second search into the app where I was left with no answers. I then went back into my email and discovered that the original sender was anonymous and out of my domain. I even attempted to email this anonymous sender. However, the message failed and was apparently an “invalid email address.”
As I reexamined the first email, featuring the Curio ad, I noticed some very fine print at the bottom of the email, which read, “If your CURIO-sity is fulfilled. Please, pass this message along to another friend who lost a lover ❤️🖤We’re here to piece love back together.” I took a moment to think hard about what this all meant, but by the end of the night I had a feeling that I wouldn’t be hearing from “Charlotte.” ever again.
I woke up the next morning, very much alive and not in Hell. When I checked the lockscreen of my phone, all notifications from Curio had ceased and the app had somehow been wiped clean off of my phone, including any emails sent about them. It was as if the app had never even existed.
I arrived at work in high spirits and surprisingly, so did my boss. He even apologized for yelling at me the past few days and saying all of those mean things. He said that we have to, “Hold on tight to those who are there for us and to never take them for granted.” Since that day, nobody has seen him since. There was no formal goodbye or leave of the company. Theodore McClow, or “Big Ted” as we called him in the office, has been missing for months and hasn’t been found since that day.
Since then, I’ve moved to a different town with a different job. I’m much happier here and I’ve even met someone new without the help of dating apps. However, to anyone who gets an email about an app called “Curio.” PLEASE, DO NOT DOWNLOAD THE APP. Do as the fine print says...
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