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2020.10.20 15:42 LinesofStone 10/10

feedback: i saw a woman crying today and letting go
she's easy to love
shaped like god's first tree of life
wild leaves in her mane
with acres of skin that need to be licked
thighs unnicked amidst sighs of contentment
but you have grown to resent her
haven't you, child?
her braless photos and laughter leaking through candids
taken on manhattan evenings after a few drinks
posing with trash cans
feet tucked into small socks in small vans
you tell me her style is mine like it's a fetish
as if i could attempt another painter
whose winter attire gives me chills
where is the difference in the way her speech spills?
these are slight girls, pale girls,
girls who gravitate toward pretty irises
girls whose thrills come from cowering in fear
over shouts and threats
victims and volunteers
naked and nude
bleating and deaf
i ask to be cleansed
in something warm and wet
then whipped and half flayed
and told that i'm blessed
your subway is empty
along with my sense
perhaps the first incarnation of one miss cigarette in my writing. 2016 yielded some odd pieces and reflections; this gothic skeleton isn't one who got away, as i never had her in the first place. still, if nothing else, she was a crumb of inspiration in an otherwise terrible time.
all writing goes on instagram @LinesofStone
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2020.10.11 00:05 lowsheen How and Why to Have "The Talk" With Your Kids

Teach Your Kids How To Approach Sexuality Responsibly
Talking to them early and candidly can lead to better outcomes
by MICHAEL GENE
Imagine your kids becoming sexually active later, having fewer partners, and avoiding negative consequences like disease, unwanted pregnancy, and regret; and instead, experiencing positive outcomes, communicating openly with their partner, being prepared, and enjoying themselves responsibly. According to author Peggy Orenstein in a TED Radio Hour segment entitled “How Should We Talk To Our Kids About Sex?” a survey of 300 randomly selected girls from a Dutch and American University showed that this was how many of the Dutch girls described their early experience of sex, whereas the American girls did not. What led to the big difference between the girls? The Dutch girls said that they were talked to from an early age candidly about sex, pleasure, and mutal trust by their doctors, teachers, and parents.
In the article “The Case for Comprehensive Sex Ed” by Bonnie J. Rough published in The Atlantic, it is stated that as of 2018, fewer than half of U.S. schools require that students receive information about human sexuality. Without schools providing consistent sex education and information from doctors likely to be fairly infrequent, it becomes imperative for parents to tackle this task. Of course, the thought of this makes most of us parents cringe, but if having these talks with our kids will benefit them, then it is certainly worth giving it a try. So just how do we go about it?
When talking with their kids about sex, many parents focus on the negative aspects and warn against having sex, getting pregnant, and getting a disease. But Dutch parents are more likely to focus on the positive aspects and teach how to balance responsibility with joy. Also, talking about sex is best done over time with lots of little talks instead of trying to cover everything in one big talk. So relax, take your time, and leave room for your child to ask questions. Below are a few more tips to help parents empower their kids to approach sexuality responsibly:

  1. Start Talks Early: When your children are as young as preschool age, you can begin by naming body parts accurately and teaching them about personal boundaries and privacy.
  2. Teach Them How Babies Are Born: If it makes it easier, maybe use an example of how puppies are born.
  3. Explain Puberty: Lots of changes happen emotionally and physically during this time, so be there to answer any questions and assure them that you went through it, too.
  4. Let Them Know it is Okay to Feel Pleasure: Sexual activity brings pleasure which is natural and one of the wonderful parts of human experience.
  5. Teach The Importance of Consent: Deciding to have sex is a very personal decision and others have the same right to decide for themselves. No one should ever be forced or pressured into sex.
  6. Warn Against the Risks: There are real risks in having sex and it is important that they know how to protect against disease, pregnancy, and being pressured into sex.
  7. Highlight the Social and Emotional Aspects: In addition to physical risk, they need to know that having sex brings out a lot of emotions and social responsibilities. This is why it is best to wait before having sex until they have matured and become adults.
  8. Keeping Up On Responsibilities: Being in a sexual relationship can be exciting and overwhelming but it is important that they keep up on other responsibilities.
  9. Avoid Unhealthy Sexuality: Warn them against the dangers of sharing nude photos, online predators, and the unrealistic and unhealthy aspects of pornography.
  10. Different Beliefs: Help them understand that others may believe differently about what constitutes as appropriate behavior when it comes to sex and that it important to be respectfully yet believe what is right for them.
  11. A Pre-Sex Checklist: Before they decide to become sexually active, go through this list with them:
• You have gotten to know the other person really well and have met their family and/or friends
• Neither of you is in another relationship
• You will have the privacy you deserve in a place that is safe and comfortable
• You have a plan incase an unintended pregnancy happens
• You know that you can change your mind at any time and that there are other types of sexual contact that can still be satisfying and be safer than intercourse
• You understand that this new activity may be very exciting, but you still need to focus on taking care of your other responsibilities
• You and your partner are mature enough to responsibly honor the three must knows before having sex: there is no pressure to do it, there is protection against disease, and there is protection against pregnancy
MICHAEL GENE is a writer based in Fresno, California. He is the author of Big Little Talks: A Sex-positive Approach For Parenting.
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2020.09.28 11:05 Meda28Sepl2 What you are looking for is..... (Link in the Desc.)5

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2020.09.20 19:03 Mistresspreslie Candid nude girls

Interesting isn't it?🧐
Republicans are conservative, that's just a fact. And sex workers are just . . . Not. Lol! A conservative sex worker is one who conceals their face while posting naughty pictures online.
But why do so many sex workers lean towards President Trump versus Joe Biden?
I was a stripper for nine years, now running an onlyfans site & online webcamming. Throughout my whole career I have been a diehard Republican.
I am from New Jersey which is a very liberal state, but I do come from a Republican county. The area I live in has a lot of wealth and they don't want to see more of it go to taxes. So that has always stuck with me, Democrats will raise taxes. Even if they raised property taxes last year, they will raise them again this year
I started dancing in 2011 under the Obama administration. I was 18 years old when I started, and all of the "older" strippers had told me that before the recession they were killing it. Once the recession hit they had to fight to make money. At this time in 2011 things were slowly getting better. People were getting out of that recession mentality; "save every penny because you could lose your job tomorrow." But the industry had no way recovered to pre-2008 standards.
I had gotten really lucky. I was 18 years old "fresh meat" and I was going to make money just because I was the new girl. But I watched a lot of girls struggle to make $200 on a weekend night that should bring in $600+ easily.
I had two good summers, in 2012 and 2013. I was a new face, I was still a "teen," like I said, "fresh meat" sells better. 2014 was horrible! I was only 21 years old and it was an awful summer, no one was making money. The Jersey shore was dead, rentals were empty. Hurricane Sandy hit in November 2012, most businesses were back up and running in the summer of 2013. Some had yet to reopen in 2013, but by the summer of 2014 All of the businesses had re-opened, all of the rentals have been fixed and open for business. But only half were booked ON WEEKENDS. Weekdays were absolutely dead. Our club being 3 miles from the beach relied heavily on this summer traffic. During 2014 there waa no difference between summer and winter. Both were the same, disappointing. Many of my friends were struggling, needing to work 6 days a week just to get by.
2015 got a little bit better, but not much. And then a big change came in 2016.
2016 was an election year, and yes strippers talk politics. Now 23 years old and dancing for five years I was already a veteran. I was one of the highest earners at the club and people would often come to me for money making advice. I also love talking politics, history, and proving people wrong; so the dressing room hosted A LOT of political debates. "Welcome to debate club, strippers edition." 😂
A lot of the new, younger girls were very excited about Hillary Clinton running for President. They were hoping that she would win, that she would legalize marijuana, that she would "change" this country. But the girls who had been dancing for years, the girls who were making a lot of money. . . They were all for candidate Trump.
"Why would you vote for Trump?" Was a question I was frequently asked.
"Trump wants to make abortion illegal!" "Trump will never legalize marijuana!" Those were the biggest complaints about Trump.
As for abortion, I believe the woman has the right to choose. But I also know politics. I know that Trump is from New York and he's not super conservative, he is not from the Bible belt, he is never going to waste his time making abortions illegal in this country. He knows they are a necessary evil. But will he say he is against it? Absolutely, he needs to please those ultra conservative voters. Something A LOT OF PEOPLE don't understand.
As for marijuana, I think we need the extra revenue so that the Democrats could spend it. But would Hillary Clinton have been able to make it legal with a Republican controlled Senate. (And house at the time I believe). . I don't think so.
And like I stated the girls who were making a lot of money, who had invested in other businesses and were getting ready to retire, or who had owned real estate. . . They were all voting for Trump.
"The Trump girls," did not want to pay more money in taxes in a very high tax state. They wanted to be able to use their extra income to invest in other opportunities, to invest in their kids college education, or go to school themselves. Of course the younger Clinton voters weren't even claiming taxes, so they didn't care how much she raised our taxes. They wanted to collect more welfare because their income was totally off the books.
President Trump ended up winning the election, and very quickly Something Happened. The stock market started going up. As mentioned, we are from a republican wealthy county in New Jersey. A lot of these men work in New York on Wall Street, or are heavily invested in the market. Once the stock market went up, the club was popping! The winter of 2016-2017 was amazing. People felt more secure to spend money, Guys had no problem dropping $3,4,500 in the VIP room. We finally had a huge shower of singles on stage for the first time in forever. And this was only the winter.
Summer 2017 came and it was my best summer ever. It was my best summer even though by mid august I was barely working as I was suffering horrible morning sickness when I got pregnant with my first child. $1500 could be made in 2-3 hours on a weekend night. If you got really lucky it could be made as a tip in a 15 minute VIP room. 2017 was the summer of money!
My life took a turn however. After I had my son I really didn't work that much. I would go in one or two days a month. But it was still enough for me to be able to buy my very first apartment! If I had worked like that during the Obama years, I would have been struggling to pay rent. However I was paying a mortgage and saving money.
I basically call myself semi-retired now. And now I am entering my third trimester with my second baby. But from august 2017-january 2020 on a two day a month schedule, I was able to save enough money to put a down payment on a bigger home.
The taxes in this state are ridiculous, and we will never vote in a Republican governor to lower our taxes. But the last thing I need is higher federal taxes.
Instead of debating The legalization of marijuana, I am now having debates about college education for my kids. Why wouldn't I vote for Joe Biden who believes in free college education? I am going to have two children to put through college. And that answer is very simple. My kids are young. I have 15 1/2 more years to save for my older son and I started saving for him a week after he was born. Even if I only put away $2000 a year, he will have $36,000 once he turns 18; enough to pay for his first year. Invested in the S&P 500 that could easily be $70,000. What if I have a good year and I could invest another thousand dollars?
Joe Biden wants to give us free community college which is what? 5K a year? Even if he did make four year colleges free, would they be only state schools? Im sure private schools wouldn't be free. At rutgers the current tuition in-state is about $10,000/year. 4 years would be $40,000. With what I am saving right now, I would only be $4000 short of covering all four years of college. That is not calculating gains from the market.
But what if my taxes were raised another $2000 a year? That money would be going to the government instead of saving for my son. What if he increased taxes to 50%? Not only would I not be able to save money for my kids I wouldn't be able to save money for short term goals.
I recently became an only fans creator, taking advantage of my pregnancy and the fetish industry. Some of these woman are making $300,000+ a year. I have been much more successful in a month than I ever thought I would.
My reason for starting this work was to help my husband fund our home renovation. I thought I would be able to help with little things, but now I am going to be able to help with bigger things and save money for my kids college fund.
As I am learning more about the online sex worker industry, I see all of the expenses these girls have. They need to buy good cameras and film equipment. Constantly on their phones, you need good service and a lot of data. New content is a must for success, hence new outfits, backdrops, toys, props, and shoes for the foot fetish guys!
All of the money needs to be claimed INCLUDING tips. It's not like being a stripper where the majority of your money goes unclaimed, in fact it can't even be tracked because it's cash tipped to you behind a closed VIP room curtain. Every dime an Only Fans creator makes is carefully logged and must be claimed at the end of the year. And let's not forget Only Fans takes 20% of your earnings off the top, to run their website and because of the high fees credit card companies charge because it is considered a "high risk industry."
So creators lose 20% off the top. I would say they easily spend 10% of their income on work related expenses for making their content better. Some pay for promotions so that their pages grow faster. Others NEED assistants or hire other experts. We employ a lot of other people! But 30% is gone right away.
Then you have to pay taxes, depending on your state and your tax bracket it could be as little as 15% and as much as 40%! Let's say we need to pay 25% in taxes just like a lot of people. That's 55% of our money gone.
Let's say you're doing pretty well on only fans making $5000 a month, $60,000/year. $12,000 you'll never even see. $6000 goes towards all of the expenses and is tax deductible. And now you have to pay taxes on $42,000. $10,500 (25%) and $16,800(40%) doesn't seem like a big difference, but it is when you put in so much hard work. Imagine making $60,000 but only having $25,000 to show for it after taxes. It makes it not even worth it.
Even if you're working 12 hours a day/7 days a week and making $200,000/year on Only fans, having less than $100,000 in your pocket at the end of the day is complete BS!
Some might ask, why not switch sites? Live cam sites take 40% or more of your money! If you're a stay at home mom like me, you can't stream live on camera while your kid is home or awake.
So now that I got into the financials of online sex work, you can understand why so many sex workers support President Trump. Unlike a regular job, we have to pay a fee just to make money. We don't want our taxes raised on top of it!
Then there are the customers. We rely on customers to put their credit card into a Onlyfans, and spend anywhere from $3 to $20 a month on a creator's subscription profile.
Despite many people losing their jobs because of Covid, the site has been busier than ever. Instead of going out to clubs, movies, or taking girls on dates, guys have been going on dates with their favorite online sex worker. but not everybody is able to do that at the moment.
If you are struggling, if you can't pay your bills, you're not going to be spending money on online porn, let's be real. Covid and the impact it has had on jobs is not the Presidents' fault. I'm thinking back to that horrible summer of 2014 when Obama was in office. How slow would Only Fans be if this was 2014. With so many extra creators trying to make money because they also have lost jobs, there would be very few girls making big money, and the majority making nothing. Right now you have a lot of girls making a lot of money, a lot of girls making a decent living, and just a few making pennies.
I think President Trump has given customers confidence that the economy is going to turn around, that jobs are going to come back. He has also given them an amazing economy over the past few years that has allowed people to fill their savings accounts. We are not in the "save every penny mentality," that I saw in 2011 when things were recovering from a big recession.
That's Another reason many sex workers support Trump. He gives clients the confidence to spend their hard earned money.
There are many issues that sex workers do not agree with Republicans on. The biggest I could think of is abortion & the woman's right to choose. Prostitution is another big one, especially for me. I would love to see legal prostitution in New Jersey one day! I would be so proud if my son could own New Jersey's first legal brothel. The reasons why I support LEGAL prostitution is a totally different argument, but Republicans would never support that! Yet I still side with Republicans.
We side with Republicans because we want to have better lives not only for ourselves but for our children. And in this country you need money to have a better life. You need money to move from a tiny two bedroom apartment into a simple townhouse. You need money to invest in your children's future so they don't need to be sex workers. You need money to invest in another business so you don't need to sext all day long. And you need money if you want to clear your head and take a vacation or go to the spa for a day! And that money does better in the hands of individual citizens to choose what they want to do with it, versus in the hands of the government!
If you have the "guts" to be a sex worker you should be compensated. It is a huge industry that makes billions of dollars, and provides jobs for millions of people. (and I say GUTS because not everyone can have the confidence to go online and show their body to strangers. Not everyone could act. Not everyone could stand tall and tell the world, I send nude videos for a living.)
I could stand tall and say it! I am a sex worker! I work really hard for my money! I show my body on camera to random men, and I'm good at it! And I don't want Joe Biden to come in and raise taxes under the farce of "free college." I don't need Joe Biden to make everyday working men lose confidence in our economy. And I certainly don't need to spend priceless time to decipher what the hell Joe Biden is trying to say to me (sorry I had to add that! 😂) And if the day ever comes that I decide I don't want to do this work anymore, I know President Trump has made the economy great and could make it even better, allowing me to find another well-paying job to support my family.
Written by me: -Mistress Preslie 🖤💋
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2020.09.16 17:52 parishhills Candid girls nude

Teen Candidate Who Blackmailed a Girl for Nudes Admits He Abused His Ex-Girlfriend submitted by parishhills to goodtimesorbad [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 14:43 Aether-Ore Candid nude girls

One of the last stickied posts at the now-banned /PedoGate, by TheGrainLantern, from the archive: http://archive.is/DIOps

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2020.09.15 23:49 Nanyea Candid nude girls

So besides the 25 accusers of Donald J. Trump, which include a 13 year old girl, of which there are several court records.... See below
Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.
Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.
Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.
Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.
Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.
Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.
Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.
Republican racist pedophile and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child.
Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.
Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.
*Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
*Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
Republican Congressman Donald "Buz" Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail.
Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.
Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.
Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.
Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.
Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.
Republican governor Arnold Schwarzenegger allegedly had sex with a 16 year old girl when he was 28.
*Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.
Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.
Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. "Republican Marty"), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl and one count of delivering the drug LSD.
*Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.
Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.
*Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was sentenced to jail after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.
Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his genitals to an 11 year old girl.
Republican anti-gay activist Earl "Butch" Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.
Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.
Republican election board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl.
*Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.
Republican politician Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to girls under the age of 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children).
Republican anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt was charged with sexual misconduct involving a 15-year old girl.
*Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child.
Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.
Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters.
Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl.
*Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy.
Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison.
Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.
Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession.
*Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet.
Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a "good military man" and "church goer," was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.
Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter.
Republican director of the "Young Republican Federation" Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison.
Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was charged with rape for allegedly paying a 15-year old girl for sex. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women
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2020.09.09 14:14 EricFromOuterSpace Candid nude girls

Teen Candidate Who Blackmailed a Girl for Nudes Admits He Abused His Ex-Girlfriend submitted by EricFromOuterSpace to TrueAnon [link] [comments]


2020.09.07 20:19 TornIntoEnthralment Amanita Chroniclles vol. 1. - A very detailed collection of 5 separate amanita trip reports

“The autumnal abundance and vibrant colors of the fly agaric mushroom make it probably the most widely recognized of our fungi. As the name suggests it was formerly used as an insecticide, with pieces often floated in milk, to intoxicate and kill flies attracted by its aroma. Similarly most people will be wary of its poisonous reputation (though fatal reactions are rare), and appreciation of this mushroom will mostly be limited to the aesthetic. It has been suggested that northern Europeans’ wariness of mushrooms may stem from long-established taboos relating to the use of mushrooms containing mind expanding substances. These would originally have been reserved for those shamans or priests who served as intermediaries between the common folk and the unseen worlds of spirit. The fly agaric may have been the earliest source of entheogens that is hallucinogenic substances used for religious or shamanic purposes, the use of which date back possibly over 10,000 years. Fly agaric has been put forward as the most likely candidate for the mysterious Soma, mentioned in around 150 hymns of the Hindu Rig-Veda, which was written between 1500 – 500 BC by Aryans in the Indus valley. Soma was a moon god, as well as a related plant and a holy brew which were also worshipped. Though there have been many suggestions as to the identity of the plant, fly agaric fits many of the Vedic references as a substance with which to contact the gods.”
I have long been fascinated by these Fairytale mushroom. I always wanted to try despite their toxic reputation. I ordered 30g’s off of an online vendor and decided to see why Mario loves these mushrooms so much. After doing extensive research on their pharmacology, dosage and preparation….. And being quarantined with the covid-19 outbreak, I decided the time was right.
The recipe for preparation (decarboxylation) into tea is as follows:
-2 cups of distilled water -15 grams of dry/ busted up fly agaric -2 tablespoons of lemon juice - add fly agaric to water and bring to a boil -Simmer on medium low for 25mins, stirring occasionally
NOTE: amanita when prepared into tea supposedly decarboxylates almost all ibotenic acid into muscimol (around 84%). This tea remains active forever, even after the tea has gone bad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Trial#1~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ T+5:00pm – one big gulp has been consumed, the taste was acrid. If I had to describe the flavor, I would say it is salty and putrid. As though someone didn’t finish a dark ale, and let it sit in the sun for a few days… then dumped it all over sawdust…. Then performed bukkakke all over it; and then boiled it. I have heard of amanita being used in French and Bavarian cuisine, as well as in Eastern Europe. Supposedly if cooked right all muscimol and ibotenic acid is eradicated, and it contains much nutritional benefit. I’m told it’s good tasting, but after drinking this. I cannot imagine….. It’s like there’s bukkakke in my mouth, and everyone is throwing up. The stench of wet dog it was exuding last night as I boiled the tea was nauseating enough, and I’m already worried about yacking before the effects have set in.
T+5:12 I am making Ginger tea in case the nausea decides to set in. I begin smudging my living place with bay leaves. I will make my bed, where I will lie, meditating and asking what I want to gain from this trip. I put on some spiritual music to reflect on. Album of choice is Osi and the Jupiter – Nordlige Runaskog. I figured putting on fantasy ambient/ folk music was fitting while ingesting the fairytale mushroom. The violin, tribal drums, angelic singing, and deep bass sound mystical to me. Perhaps better than usual? There is already a slight change that I can’t quite put my finger on. I did not smoke weed yet today. I am noticing a mild stoning effect. Similar to drinking a double shot of spirits, as the booze hits your stomach and is beginning to take effect.
T+6:00- First alerts, I feel pleasant. There were a few waves of nausea, but nothing more. This substance is very good for meditation. My mind was completely cleared the entire time. I now feel warm and fuzzy. I have taken another few gulps, it is slightly less disgusting as before. Somehow the flavor has changed to an earthier flavor…. Tastes like the way the bag of mushrooms smells. I have not smoked weed today on purpose and I notice I feel kind of stoned; like smoking a bowl and drinking a couple beers.. Mild nausea is present, but lying down helps. Music enhancement is very apparent. There is a weird paradoxical stoning effect taking place. I am nauseous yet euphoric, full of energy yet all I want to do is chill. I cannot tell if this nausea is due to an empty stomach. Whatever is taking place is very mild. I consumed more tea. The music is very immersive, the atmosphere is peaceful.
T+6:22- I am taking one more gulp for good measure. I haven’t eaten since breakfast at 2:30pm… and I am unsure if this nausea is as a result of not having food in my stomach. I am now playing the album Uthuling Hyl by Osi and the Jupiter. This is beautiful music for this drug. I feel like I am on an epic quest. Again the effects are very mild…. I realized I only wrote about taking more tea. I am doing that now.
T+6:50- I’m getting the feeling that if these mushrooms were gunna fuck me up and send me to the hospital, they’d have done that by now. I consumed much larger gulp than I did before. I have 1/3 left in the thermos I had. I’m going to wait for any noticeable differences, and if not, consume the rest. So far I barely feel anything. At this point it may just be placebo. I feel sleepy and comfortable.
T+6:56 – effects have increased, still mild. Nausea is present but easy to ignore. My mouth is salivating more than normal and I’m having deep and meaningful conversation online. I put some more upbeat music on and it’s affecting my mood; giving me energy. Album right now is Drab Majesty – The Demonstration… I’m really into it. But I do not feel much else from this amanita.
T+7:15 I feel great. Something is there but not very strong. One thing for sure, is that I’m fucking starving. I’m going to eat some spaghetti, and then I’m downing the last of that tea and smoking weed. This may be a bad call. Wish me luck. This spaghetti is bomb; my mom made the sauce from leftover meatloaf... there is a feeling of empathogenic qualities present. I may hate my mother for so many various ways she’s fucked up my life, but she’s just a stupid old lady who tries too hard. I feel really bad for her, and I feel bad at myself for never giving her the time of day…. I begin to pity her. She never should have had kids; her life must be fucking miserable. I vow to never end up like her as long as I live. T+7:30- So far I feel much better after eating, though it may have sobered me up. It’s time to smoke a bowl and jam out to music… I made a mental note of chewing my spaghetti very well T+7:50- fuck, I forgot to do the stuff I was going to do. So far I’m pleasantly sleepy and baked for no reason I downed the rest of the tea… there was much more tea than I thought there was (I wasn’t even halfway done). Forget what I said about it not being as bad…. Drinking that much of that liquid all at once, must have tasted like licking a dogs wet asshole T+8:33- I smoked a little one hit bowl of weed and I’m definitely WAY higher than I should have been without amanita. So far the experience is underwhelming and lackluster, but pleasant. I’m expecting some wild dreams tonight.
T+8:35- I was beginning to get disappointed. Everything about this trip was apparent enough to not be placebo, but still underwhelming and weak. I begin to think I have felt all the mushroom will do to me. I even complain about it online, to a friend of mine who is asking about the trip. I had spoken too soon however. I just got a huge wave of euphoria, and a surge in very positive energy.
The best description I can give is the feeling Mario must get when he collects a mushroom. I want to do pushups. I’m giddy and excited and the world is full of wonder. The music is incredible. I put on some black metal (Akrotheism) and I’m fucking PUMPED. The feeling is increasing, I feel like Mario when he collects a star.. Typing and looking down from my fingers to my LED screen is mildly disorienting. It starts giving me a bit of nausea. I decide to lie down.
T+8:50- This is feeling rather intense. I now feel like Mario when he’s worried he did too many drug and will get sick. All my senses are extremely enhanced, and I am hyper aware of my own body. I realize I need to turn off the music and smoke a bowl. Hopefully that levels me out.
T+9:05- It actually made me twice as high, although in a more manageable way. I feel like I am on narcotics. I feel really insignificant in my 6’4” mortal coil compared to the vast expanse of the universe. “Awesome,” I think to myself. I smoke another bowl with some blue lotus extract on top. I now realize size is infinite. There are particles so small they are smaller than the universe is large and it’s almost impossible to fathom. I could be 6’4” because that is how we have learned to think…. But for all I know I’m actually infinity feet and infinity inches. My cock must be fucking ENORMOUS. I smoke another bowl and pack another one immediately after.
T+9:25- I feel like I smoked too much weed. This buzz is increasing and I’m worried how it will affect me. I realize I was barely dosing, and decided to drink almost all of it at once… I have no idea what to expect, and am slightly concerned. I decide to put on happy music and lie down. I put on some post-punk (Soviet Soviet) and lie down again.
The effects are still increasing but they’re groovy. The music is super positive sounding. I feel drunk, but when I become hyper focused on one specific part of the dry-wall I’m looking at and get some mild distortions. I begin looking around my room and noticing my center vision is zooming into my point of focus. I’m really into the music. Looking around my room feels like I’m in a music video. The CEV’s are barely present. If I heroic dose sacred lotus I get similar visions.
T+10:00- I feel very comfortable yet tired and the album has finished. I decide to watch F is for Family on Netflix. This show is hilarious and tugs at my heart string. I will note this substance has very empathogenic qualities, not to the same degree as MDMA, although present none the less.
T+11:30- I have binged watched all of season one and I now feel extremely sleepy and comfortable. I am excited to have amanita dreams.
T+1:30 – I am starting to come down. I make blue lotus tea, as well as valerian root tea.
T+2:30 – the blue lotus gave me a surge of euphoric energy, and I feel as though the amanita has completely worn off. I wish I could watch all of season 3. F is for Family is now one of my favorite shows. I resolve to order more amanita, and aim for a soma level experience next time. For now I have 15G left. I will make a tea next week and drink it all down at once next time.
T+3:30 – Lotus was a bad idea, sleep is near impossible. I have no libido to whack off. So I force myself to bust, hoping it tires me out… totally pointless.
T+10:00 – Blue lotus was a dumb idea. It fucked up my sleep and now I can’t get back to sleep. No amazing amanita dreams either, I feel hungover.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Trial#2~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This time I decided to smoke it. I rolled the red skins from a cap into an L joint and smoked that fatty. When the shrooms first came in the mail I decided to rip some through bong. It was repulsive, made the water cloudy and barely did anything but give me bad breath. There was a vague something there but I couldn’t tell because I smoke immense amounts of weed.
After smoking the L, I noticed a mild and pleasant stoning effect, like smoking a bowl from a pipe and having a couple beers. Music was enhanced and sleep was easier. I had vivid dreams I can barely recall but I vaguely remember one involving vampires and fighting spiders in a cave.
This inspired me to try this again, but instead use the red skin of various caps as each mushroom varies in potency; I mixed in some weed and dipped the doobie into some calea zacatechichi tincture. This tasted quite pleasant and smoked smooth. Afterwards I had that same mild stoning euphoria, but when I went to bed HOLY FUCK! It had been a while since I had such a vivid dream I could recall. In my dream I was situated in a tropical paradise and though I looked human, I was actually an alien slave race to these Gundam Wing looking, warrior priests. They forced us to do battle with these extradimensional entities that looked like they were made of orange noodles. Turns out, these beings were the creators of our fabric of reality and I defected to their side. I was lucid enough to be able to fly and waged war on these Gundam Wing beings, having dogfights in the air. I remember I became a king, conqueror of the oppressive scourge! I was gifted a palace and kingdom kind of like ancient Egypt. There was this smoking hot, beautiful priestess lady, who was my wife and I fucked her. Her voice was enchanted with magic and could make anyone burst into tears when she sang. She painted tapestries of my heroic battles and sang songs about me.
I awoke with no hangover, but a pleasant sluggish feeling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Trial #3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, last time when I made the tea, I didn’t grind up the mushrooms at all. I broke them down with my fingertips instead, as the recipe for preparation was pulled off of a YouTube channel called AmanitaDreamer. Apparently, grinding them up does indeed make a real difference. I WAS aiming to do a higher dose this time… but I have also learned that citric acid is one of the best things for decarboxylation. This time I am consuming 14g in a tea with considerably more lemon juice. The reason for keeping the dose low (more or less the same as last time,) is that I have heard some people don’t get high their first time. Considering I did 15g on my first dose and found it to be underwhelming, I am playing it safe just in case I am taken very off guard and start freaking out. Playing it safe is generally a good practice with most substances when you are experimenting by yourself. I also previously drank the tea very slowly and gradually, and only got mildly high 3.5 hours into the trip. This time I will drink half all at once, then 1 -1.5 hours later I will down the rest. If at 3 hours I feel disappointed I will juice a lemon and grind a few caps into a mug, fill it with lemon juice and boiling water, steep it and consume that. Also, I will make a point to actually go to bed on time so I can fall asleep easily and get the full benefits of the mushroom.
This time I added the ginger tea into the tea as it was steeping. As I was nauseous from hunger last time, I ate a large bowl of pasta tonight at 7:45 pm. I am currently playing videogame until 9:45am, when I plan to dose. I will drink some Pepsi so I’m able to have a bit of energy and watch some trippy cartoons before bed.
T+9:45pm: Roughly 7 g’s of amanita tea downed all at once. I will note that the tea is much better than last time. I had some after I had cooked it last night just to taste and using the juice from an entire lemon as well and simmering with a bag of ginger tea, as well as the addition of black pepper, actually gave it a nice earthy taste with a bit of tang. It’s not horrible at all this way. It’s literally been 6 minutes since I chugged it back and started writing this and I already feel different in a pleasant way.
T+10:30- Downed the rest of the tea
T+11:05- I noticed there was sludge from when I strained the mush into the mug at the very bottom of my cup… I downed that too. What began as pleasant euphoria, energy, and a very nice head stoned is now turning into something else. I started out just slaying aliens on Halo…. But it is now giving me motion sickness and the game is too complex. I am definitely intoxicated; I reached a checkpoint and have no idea how to finish the objective. Eating food beforehand (I had seconds shortly before consuming the tea), and drinking Pepsi was a bad idea. I feel my high would be much better if I wasn’t scared I was going to purge.
T+11:20- Effects increasing. Music is immersive. I’m salivating heavily and looking at screens is making me more nauseous. I feel like I could have taken more but I definitely should have fasted and not drank the Pepsi. I feel too nauseous to consume more. I’m gunna make some more ginger tea and smoke some herb; hopefully that levels me out. Oddly enough, I feel higher than I did on my first run with the tea, as I drank it faster and I made it better; even though I had taken a gram more last time. Next time I’m going full soma and drinking at least 20 g’s.
T+11:30- completely levelled out. Weed is a godsend. I don’t have pasties, nor am I salivating, I have a surge of energetic euphoria, incredibly relaxed. The weed was fantastic. The strain is Alien OG that I got for an immensely cheap price, on a once and a lifetime sort of offer that fell on my lap. I am sad my weed is running low, I’m broke as fuck…. But I also really couldn’t care. I feel crunk as hell. Fantastic, but I acknowledge my dope is gunna be scarce very soon. I know I’ll pull through; I always do…so I’m jammin to reggae music and doing fuck-all. I would liken this substance maybe to some form of benzo… only not shitty (I fuckin hate benzos,), with less memory loss and a really groovy body buzz….. kind of like alcohol but much more clear headed and introspective….but also a little psych-y and dissociating like low dose ketamine.. It is a bit trippy though. I feel great and groovy. My mind is playing movies for me and music is affecting it. Felt like my brain was dancing to Bob Marley…. I am now listening to extreme metal and the massive shift is hilarious, fuck I’m in a good mood. Though I do find this dose underwhelming at least I know my limits, and know what is already safe. The “trip” supposedly happens when you go to bed. Last time, I didn’t get any dreams because I stayed awake until it wore off. I’m gunna go for a walk with a joint, watch some Netflix and pass out.
T+12:12- Though I do find this dose underwhelming, at least I know my limits and what is already safe. I am satisfied with where I am at right now. I feel sleepy and the effects are still increasing into an amazing drunken body buzz. Kinda like GHB if it was a dissociative. Very compelled to go on that walk (I haven’t yet.) I had drenched the spliff I rolled in dream herb tincture and I’m waiting for it to dry. Effects are still increasing.
T+12:24- the joint is dry enough! Walk time.
T+12:49- I’m fucked after smoking that. Everything has amplified each other. Typing is becoming more difficult. Overall I feel euphoric and wobbly. My mind played some tricks on me on my walk. I noticed two trees I see all the time looked fucking enormous; huge and majestic. Another one seemed really small, and the pond in the park looked big as well. I was like “Wow fuck that tree’s big”. I then noticed the smaller tree was just far away; and it was in fact bigger than the other one. I haven’t walked through that pond in the dark for a long time…. I noticed one of the neighbors had a projector in their backyard and it’s projecting a penguin in sunglasses with snowflakes falling beside him. I don’t know why it’s there and it was way funnier than it should have been. This is a cool effect (micropsia/ macropsia) so I’m making 1 cup worth of more amanita tea.
T+12:55- I’m making tea and nice and intoxicated
T+1:42- I feel like I may have hit the peak. This was hitting in waves as I made the tea. I snacked out on chips and just consumed 4 grams. I notice I felt like I could sleep really easily, earlier in the night. I’m gunna watch some trippy cartoons, smoke some bud, and hit the hay as the other 4 grams come on.
T+2:45- I am still very inebriated, but completely in control; now I know my limits. Next time, I’m going all in and doing an oz. (maybe not all in one sitting) I would have made more agaric tea but it’s late. I put on diffraction glasses, and watched Midnight Gospel… I thought it was a terrible first episode, and also second episode, but I’m just high enough that it’s good now; it’s a pretty fucked show. Part way through, I received some nudes on my phone, really well taken ones. I started masturbating…. But I just couldn’t stay horny long enough to bust. All I did was get my hands dirty…I may have passed the peak and I’m just perma-fried feeling from the 4 g’s. Weed enhances and I’m super sleepy, just steeping my bed-time tea. I should have taken more but, oh well. I feel extremely tired, and I’m excited to sleep; time for bed. I will be sure to make a dream journal of my dreams if I can remember. I’m Going to dose on dream herb again for greater dream recall. Taking some Sleepy Time Tea as well) passionflower, chamomile, etc… will conclude in morning.
T+5:45- I passed out with an audio-book of Robert Frost poetry, woke up 2 hours later with the most intense urge to piss I have ever felt. I swear I must have pissed consistently for at least 2 minutes. I vaguely remember a dream of a castle
T+10:45- Getting back to sleep was incredibly easy, unfortunately I do not remember a single dream I had, very disappointed. I’m not sure if the passionflower, melatonin or weed negated these vivid dreams. Tonight I’m gunna make the rest that I have (6-8g's) into tea and chug it down right before crawling into bed in the hopes I can record some of the dreams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Trial #4~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
T+12:20am- I only had about 7 or 8 grams left, and I used them all up. Following the same modified recipe I used to Trial #3, I made my brew and quickly downed it all at once. I watched an episode of Rick and Morty, smoked a joint, made some peppermint and valerian root tea, and began getting ready for bed as the effects started coming on. After I was all washed and brushed, took my pee and flossed my teeth, I returned to my bedroom to go to sleep. This dose took me by surprise, because although I only did 7-8g’s (half as much as last time) I was just as high as I was in Trial #3…. (In my first trials)I had begun to think that amanita being hallucinogenic is a myth; that it is more of a narcotic or dissociative than a psychedelic. I have no idea why this dose produced these effects but I felt them.
I was basking in euphoria, and enjoying closed eye visuals. Although, these CEV’s did not get stronger than level 3 or level 4 geometry. I remember a gold and purple flower type structure that reminded me of an abstract scene in the movie Fantasia. My room felt like it was gigantic, I had just cleaned up and it was big like a palace. Random parts of my track lighting on my ceiling turned from eggshell white into a teal, then to off white, then to red, then to off white. Things breathed slightly and looking at something for a long time produced some interesting visual distortion. Possibly, the only accurate way to describe what I mean is that scene in Jaws, where someone is getting attacked after they were advised to close the beaches….. This effect was produced by zooming the camera into a close-up while simultaneously backing it away. They call this effect “the dolly zoom”…. And looking at light fixtures and other parts of my room produced this sensation.
I put on some ambient music and fell asleep. I slept really well; I definitely did dream, I just had no recollection of it. Surprisingly, I had no hangover, I was refreshed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Trial #5~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recipe for the larger batch is as follows: -4 cups of tap water -25 grams of dry/powdered fly agaric(caps) -juice of an entire lemon -Ginger teabag -A generous amount of black pepper - add fly agaric to lemon juice and mix until a paste and thoroughly coated; let soak for 10 mins -Add water, Bring to boil, and simmer on medium-low for 25-30mins, stirring occasionally
T+10:15pm- I had brewed 25grams of fly agaric the night prior. I used about 4 cups of water and although it reduced greatly, I had to separate it into 2 thermoses to fit it all. The first thermos (roughly 12g’s has been consumed). I will wait an hour then consume the other one. I used to despise the taste of the tea, yet I think I got the recipe/ technique on lock. It’s not so bad anymore. I’m sitting around waiting for effects and pre-rolling many joints for the trip. I’m gunna watch a movie and then go for a walk around the block and head to bed. Hopefully I finally have these lucid dream I been after. Tonight I am trying to go full soma.
T+10:50pm- I noticed the initial phase of nausea had set itself in. I tend to feel this way at the beginning of all my amanita trips. My hypothesis, is that this occurs do to my liver beginning to decarboxylate the remaining ibotenic acid leftover in the tea. I have found weed is incredible while high on fly agaric. Cannabis completely counteracts any negative effects amanitas give me. They both amplify the hell out of each other, but I find the combo to have a “balancing act” quality to it.
I started feeling woozy, so I went for a walk around the block and blazed a doobie; I am now back at my house and very high. Amanita is definitely taking effect now as the clock turns 11:11.
T+11:15pm- Effects are increasing, as I try to find a movie on Netflix. I retrieve my other thermos with the tea inside, and begin taking my first sips
T+11:30pm- Effects from first dose are still increasing as I drink half the other thermos. I decide to watch The Shape of Water…. I hear some lady fucks a fish monster… and that is all I know about this movie.
T+11:50pm- I’m very inebriated. I leave about 3g worth of tea in the thermos left.
T+12:30am- I keep getting higher, almost like my brain is a basin that is overflowing. I begin to worry if it will be too much. I feel sort of like I’m spinning and these effects have yet to stop increasing. I went outside and smoked a joint. I feel way better now. Ego= intact
~~~~~NOTE: I could no longer type after this point, so the remaining timestamps will be told from memory; though I did jot down the actual times. My last entry before abandoning writing the report will be posted below. Writing this took everything I had and took a very long time to type. Trying to get my thoughts down was becoming overwhelmingly difficult and nothing I said was making any sense. The last entry I made before entering freak-out mode is below:
T+128am- M right hand is numb and I was very worried/. I am getting the spins. I worry this might become too intense. I drnak thew rest of the tea and it’s scary. I started typing and it was feeding into it. Creating a serious fear Im gunna die. I called my friend mario~~~~~
T+12:45am- I got over confident, and downed the last bit in the thermos, including the gross mush of fungis at the bottom. Immediately afterwards, I got smacked in the face with an almost overwhelming tidal wave of amanita effects. I physically felt my brain flooding with GABA. I begin to worry if I will get ego death. I feel like I am getting the spins and level 4 geometry is visible when I close my eyes. I keep experiencing a “dolly zoom” effect as well; just like I had written about in Trial #4.
With much difficulty, I did some math and realized the effects of the tea are only just kicking in now and I have a while to go before I start peaking. “Calm down” I tell myself”- as I tell myself this, I get SMACKED with intense levels of dissociation as it feels like my brain is liquefying into cerebral soup. “You’re just really high man, you will be okay”. I resolve to continue watching the movie I was watching in the hopes it distracts me. This movie is really well done; but the lighting, soundtrack, themes and bleakness of it start to really bum me out. This movie is creepy, and I haven’t even seen her fuck the fish monster yet.
T+1:15am- I’m really worried about ego death and starting to freak out. I feel like I definitely could not sleep if I tried. Fly agaric lasts a long time, and takes a while to finally set in…. I drank the tea thinking I would be ready for it, if I did experience ego death… but now that these effects are building and compounding on themselves, I feel as though that sort of experience would be very overwhelming. I have another 6-8 hours to go and I am only in the initial beginning stages
T+1:28am- I am sweating and I’m getting tremors in my legs and body. Things are breathing faintly and I have definitely hit a state of micropsia/macropsia. I feel like my brain is being massaged, which is an extremely weird sensation…. Like I am being massaged, but in a pattern-like loop that keeps repeating. My hands and feet are numb and I’m getting tingles in my right hand. Literally every second by the second, these effects are hitting me like a rocket ship and getting more intense. My face feels very warm and I am having weird visual distortions. My vision appears to be looking through a dreamlike, visual haze; with tunnel vision that keeps zooming in on my center of focus.
Closed eyed visuals are present and very interesting, although not extending past level 4 geometry… closing my eyes increases the effects drastically and then opening my eyes makes it even more intense…. Now, for a drug that acts almost the same way as alcohol or benzos, I am fucking FREAKING OUT. So many “what ifs” at play- Did I take too much? Did I poison myself? Is this a bad idea? Oh man this WAS a bad idea! Why are my hands tingling??
Every time I tell myself I’m going to be okay, these effects get twice as intense. My hands and feet are numb, and I can hear a noise that sounds like I’m by the ocean. I can literally feel every liter of blood coursing through my body at every heartbeat and my brain is pulsating to it. This is an extremely weird sensation… it’s not necessarily a bad sensation; just a very concerning one. This pulsating in my brain became weird as my right thumb became even more numb and tingly.
Now, my WORST fear in general, is stroke or aneurysm. I had convinced myself I was gunna die and had poisoned myself. I phone up my friend Mario and facetime him. Communication was very hard but he really levelled me out. I became calmer, and heeded his advice to just ride it out and listen to music. I had interrupted him and his band watching Seinfeld when I called, so I let him go and knew he was right. I’m on a colossal amount of drugs by myself and it’s normal to freak out. I put on some music and it was hard to concentrate. I play some Bob Marley(comfort music) and lie down as these effects continue to skyrocket
T+1:45am- I was lying on my couch awaiting the peak effects to set in. I feel like I am melting and shrinking and expanding. It’s hard to describe these hallucinations, but my best attempt would be to see thin layers of phosphenes (the static when you close your eyes), making transparently thin, abstract concepts - minor visual distortions somewhat similar to low dose mushrooms, or high dose Ambien. An example of one of these hallucinations (which wasn’t even really there… more like protruding from a wild imagination), would be that as I was staring at my ceiling, it shifted to a pale green color and I saw many 2 dimensional staircases plastered on every angle while invisible men walked up and down.
These effects didn’t stop increasing, they were compounding on themselves by the second and I was getting tremors throughout my body. I get this crazy sensation inside my skull, as it feels like a tidal wave of GABA floods my brain. I get the spins, I feel as though I’m trapped on a Beyblade that never stops spinning and only gets faster.
I feel like Alice when she starts shrinking and start getting absurd thought loops. I feel and hear my heartbeat as a cacophony of distorted sounds and my voice sounds foreign and alien. My limbs are tingling and I can’t feel my face…. In a panic I message a friend who lives in a different time zone. He was just waking up in his country and conveying anything I tried to type to him, was next to impossible. Although, he did calm me down, I am still embarrassed for freaking out at him. I thought I had plateaued, and calmed down. I resolve to eat some popcorn and drink lots of water (rationalizing it would absorb the drug and keep my liver occupied, as well help excrete the drug faster).
T+2:50am- I return from doing this and these spins have me floored. I notice my hands turn pink, then blue, then purple, then indigo and then normal…. “Oh fuck.” I am still not even near the peak yet. I gotta go to bed; I think I can sleep now.
T+2:53- There is an underlying feeling of impending doom present. These effects are not good or bad, but certainly overwhelming, sort of like being ABSOLUTELY-WASTED drunk, minus the nausea. The effects are still increasing, I am breathing heavily and I feel like I need to sleep this off. Walking to the bathroom to brush my teeth is very difficult. I have very poor motor skills and balance. These next few hours will be the peak. I know I need to ride it out. I vow never to do this much amanita again. “Shaman doses are for shamans, silly-willy”, I think to myself as I tried to make my bed in a FUBAR’d state. I crawl into bed as the effects are STILL increasing by the minute. My body feels like it’s melting as my brain became a sloshing soup of pulsating vibes. My bed was spinning hard and sleep is not coming easy. Very unique styles of CEV’s are playing out before me. They remind me of a translucent Matt W. Moore type abstract painting.
I drank so much water in such a short time span; I keep stumbling to the bathroom to take a leak. I was going to attempt to drink my own piss like a soma-shaman in Trial #6… but, after this experience, I do not believe any more experimentation needs to be documented. I notice my piss smells like fly agaric brew and I am very repulsed by this. The thought of drinking that down while it drips down my beard makes me gag.
T+2:59- Holy fuck!! It’s only been a few minutes. I’m still getting more intoxicated by the second; I think I will be okay. I need sleep, so I turn off my lights and try sleeping…. I have mice in my ceiling and the way they were running sounded very creepy. I turn on the lights and sleep with the YouTube channel, SomeoneThatsNoone narrating trip reports, as I try to sleep again. One of these trip reports is of a girl who literally dies from taking fly agaric. “FUCK OFF” I say as I switch to the next video.
T+5:30am- I awake with my phone next to me with my lamp on beside me. I would have continued sleeping but my bladder woke me up. I stumble to the bathroom and take a massive piss.
T+8:02am- got up again, and took a massive piss. I believe the effects have started to diminish and I slept past the peak. I still feel intoxicated, but taking a 2 minute long piss definitely sobered me up. I’m gunna keep sleeping until fully back to baseline
T+12:30pm- Renovations taking place in my bathroom woke me up. I have a fleeting memory of meeting a wizard in my dreams, who was teaching me alchemy and we collected amanita muscaria. He taught me some secret handshake that looked like that funny dance CHOLO gangsters do. I pass back out immediately. In my dream, there was a warlock wearing robes, I was helping him mix a cauldron; however, this did not look normal. It was like I was tripping hard in my dream; this cauldron was represented as a massive body of electrified, pink liquid. I couldn’t tell if we were in a forest or outer space. He instructed me specifically to add potassium into this cauldron. Levitating 2 dimensional and abstract hands made of crystals, dropped things into this pink landscape; which immediately began burning red fire and producing blue smoke as this cauldorn turned purple. I vaguely remember walking through this weird space forest and him motioning with his finger for me to look at something. That something, turned out to be glowing red amanitas. We then made a secret handshake of linking our hands together while pointing at each other and joined our feet and hopping around in a circle.
T+1:45pm- I am now awake and surprisingly not hungover; sluggish but refreshed. I am basking in afterglow euphoria and smoking weed feels fantastic. I get out of bed and made some eggs and hash browns, drank some coffee and holy basil tea. Afterwards I sat reflecting on my experience and how to put it into words.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CONCLUSION~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From my humble experience, labelling fly agaric as a deliriant/ psychedelic is a total misnomer classification for this substance. It may have psychedelic qualities to it, being that is great for meditation and introspection on certain (lower) doses. It can produce a very unique sense of internalized hypnagogia and has much potential for lucid dreaming. These mushrooms truly deserve the fairytale moniker; I believe they really are “magic mushrooms”. The dream I had in Trial #5 was so vivid and surreal. A couple days after that trip, I told a close friend about that dream and he pointed out that potassium actually has an exothermic reaction when placed in aqueous solutions…. So oddly specific and I had no knowledge of this prior. My interest in science developed after high school and I skipped much of science class in those days. Possibly it was my reptilian brain opening a forgotten memory of information I didn’t absorb a decade ago? If they aren’t magical then why was I transported to a fucking space-forest where a wizard taught me fucking alchemy? I can definitely understand the sacred connotations of such mushrooms and their use in shamanism. If only I was initiated, I could see them being used as tools for oneiromancy and divination.
If I were to classify this substance, I would have to put them in the “dissociative” category. I could compare them to so many substances. They remind me of a trippy version of GHB, but they also remind me of alcohol, low-dose ketamine and at times even narcotics like suboxone or morphine.
The only way I could EVER see them being placed in a deliriant category is if somebody managed to move around in a fugue state of somnambulism; dreaming while walking around…. Which very well could be possible given the person or (high enough) dosage; being that I am not prone to sleep walking, and most people are not, I cannot possibly classify these mushrooms as such.
From my experience, the lucid dreaming potential of these mushrooms is best employed via the smoking ROA; as I found to have much better dream recall and a much easier time falling asleep. When smoking the skins in a joint, the taste isn’t unpleasant in the slightest, and if prepared right the tea isn’t half bad tasting.
Due to the varying potency between different fly agaric fruits, and the steep dosage response curve that varies from person to person, it is clear that recommending a proper dosage to anyone isn’t very responsible and it is best to start low and work your way up. I do not believe these mushrooms are as toxic as people say they are.
I intend to experiment further, yet still stay in my limits; and perhaps try a microdosing regiment and record a retrospective report of any benefits or cons. Until next time, I hope this report helps someone in their research or leads them on a safe trip.
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