Nude moms flashing

That time I found out my neckbeard best friend of 8 years was the reason I’ve never been able to stay in a relationship for more than 5 months I would like to start this off by saying this is my first post and I’m sorry if the formatting is weird, I’m on mobile. That time I found out my neckbeard best friend of 8 years was the reason I’ve never been able to stay in a relationship for more than 5 months I would like to start this off by saying this is my first post and I’m sorry if the formatting is weird, I’m on mobile. That time I found out my neckbeard best friend of 8 years was the reason I’ve never been able to stay in a relationship for more than 5 months I would like to start this off by saying this is my first post and I’m sorry if the formatting is weird, I’m on mobile. Neckbeard is a pejorative term referring to unattractive, overweight and misogynistic Internet users who wear a style of facial hair in which a majority of the growth is present on the chin and neck. Neckbeards are commonly associated with hipster stereotypes and Internet addicts who frequent websites like 4chan and Reddit. For example, a woman, Linda, said she had let a friend stay with her for what was supposed to be a brief time. As the days became weeks and then months, she finally asked the friend to leave. Thank you so much for this article. I have been married to my husband for 22 years. I have never been able to figure his angry,demeaning personality out until a marriage counselor said the word narcissist. It is a word I never heard of, but it fits my husband perfectly. It has been so difficult living with him and has torn me down emotionally. The first six months of a relationship could be considered the most crucial time. This is when you find out if you two really get along, if you like each other more than you simply like being able to say that you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and if you're compatible in the long run. My first time was with my best friend.. ... his was the first of many cocks I've sucked since then 5 months ago etex4fun says: ... We both always pulled out at the last second. I was never able to hook up with him again after that, but not for lack of trying. One of these days I hope to get another opportunity to taste a nice cock. That time I found out my neckbeard best friend of 8 years was the reason I’ve never been able to stay in a relationship for more than 5 months I would like to start this off by saying this is my first post and I’m sorry if the formatting is weird, I’m on mobile. That time I found out my neckbeard best friend of 8 years was the reason I’ve never been able to stay in a relationship for more than 5 months I would like to start this off by saying this is my first post and I’m sorry if the formatting is weird, I’m on mobile.

2020.10.14 01:36 Arizona_Iced__T Flashing nude moms

I would like to start this off by saying this is my first post and I’m sorry if the formatting is weird, I’m on mobile.
TL;DR is at the end.
Now the main antagonist of this story doesn’t often shower or wash his hair, which is very off putting, especially when you’ve spent the amount of time I have with him. He isn’t really your average neck beard, he just has the tendencies of them. He tall and pretty muscular, has long black hair that comes down to his shoulders and is offer made fun of because he wears colored contacts and dyes his hair. But enough of that, onto the story!
So, when I was in the 5th grade, I was pulled into this friend group. In this group was the Main Antagonist of this story, let’s call him “Drac” (because he thinks he’s a vampire), “Red”, a Redheaded powerhouse of a human being, “J”, who is genuinely one of the nicest human beings that I know, and myself.
We were pretty close from 5th to 7th grade and only had a few fights as a group. Eventually Red started dating a girl who was very toxic and she made him “Kick me out” of the friend group. Now Drac had left the group because of the same girl and after that, we became super close. We started hanging out more and found that we had a lot of the same interest. He found out a lot about my trauma and I found out a lot about his.
Now, around 9th - 10th grade, I started dating this girl who went to a school very close to mine. Let’s call her “Lucy”. I started dating her around the end of 9th grade and we both shared a lot of the same hobbies. We both loved musicals, acting, singing, and we both had a lot of experience with the same play production company.
Now, at the beginning of that summer, I had spent a lot of time with Drac and had figured that I could trust him with knowing about our relationship. (I don’t like making my relationships public.) and he seemed super happy for me. But, during this time, my Dad had walked out on my Mom and I. That hit me like a truck and Drac was the only person I could go to at the time. He was there for me and did all he could to make me feel better. A week after that incident, I had to go to a summer camp for 2 weeks. And I told Lucy I wouldn’t be able to talk to her for those 2 weeks because there’s no service there, and she understood. But by the time I had come back from Camp. I had gotten every message from her and all of them were talking about how she couldn’t trust me and that she didn’t want to date anymore.
I had immediately told Drac this and he acted like he knew this was going to happen. He said stuff like, “Yeah man I knew she was going to dump you.” And “I should’ve warned you.” (Which turns out, he did know she was going to dump me because he told her to.)
Later that year, Drac began doing some very toxic thing like dating girls just so he could get nudes from them and making up excuses to why he was a dick to everyone, including me and his siblings. He moved out of my town and into a town nearby. Where his shenanigans continued.
Anyways, flash forward to this past summer. Drac has a girlfriend we’ll call “Kayla”. He’s very happy with her and seems like he’s actually making his life better. I started getting back in touch with Lucy and we end up making amends and get back together. J is back in my life and we get really close again. At this point, Lucy and I have been dating again for 5 months and we’re doing great. Then suddenly Lucy calls me and breaks up with me, and verbatim says “I know what you’ve been doing OP, Drac told me you haven’t changed since last time and I should’ve believed him. I’m done. Goodbye.” So, I called Drac and asked “Hey man what the fuck did you tell Lucy.” And through his teeth, he says “I have no idea what you’re talking about bro.” I still can’t believe that I believed him.
To this day I cringe at myself. Just writing this, I’m shaking in anger and frustration at the fact that he could tell me these things and I just trusted him. Not to mention that through the years of our “friendship” he has lied and scolded me for trying to stop him from hurting these girls that I was friends with by saying “Hey man just let me live my life.”
Anyways, it’s now my junior year of high school and I made a new friend. Let’s call him “Farmkid” he’s a farm kid and is still my best friend to this day. Farm kid used to have a problem with Drac but I pushed his bad opinions of him away because I knew Drac. He wasn’t like that at all! He was a good friend. At least that’s what I thought. I had started talking to this girl who is a little younger than me. Short, sweet, honest, and genuinely cares about me. Not to mention she has the nicest smile and is very attractive, unfortunately Drac also though that too. Well call her “Bean.” Bean and I were on the phone one night while Drac and Farmkid were over. We were all playing video games but Farmkid and I had a double date planned for the next day with Bean and Farmkids girlfriend at the time. Now, Bean and I weren’t dating at the time, but we agreed on the fact that we should. We just need to get closer before we could make it official. Drac said he couldn’t see this relationship going anywhere but I told him I had high hopes for it. The next day, Farmkid and I went on out double date and it went great! Bean and I had a great time and we started dating a few days later.
Fast forward (again) to about 4 months ago, Bean and I have been dating for about 8 months and we’re doing pretty well. COVID hit and I haven’t really been able to see her often but we’ve been trying very hard. Drac DM’d bean and starting flirting/hitting on her and she made it clear that she was still in a relationship with me and wanted it to stay that way and that if his intentions were to end that, then he could stop texting her. He immediately agreed that they should stay friends and they get strangely close. Now this past week, Drac had texted me asking if I could drive him up to one of our friends houses. I agreed but I couldn’t bring him home until after my hospital visit I had scheduled that day. At this point, Bean and I have been dating for about a year and Drac and her are very close. I also haven’t talked to Bean in a week or so because of some health problems I’ve been having. (When it comes to things that stress me out, I like to isolate myself so I don’t make people anxious. It’s a problem I’ve been trying to work on for a while now.) I end up bringing Drac to our friends house and they ask me to hang out with them, I agree but only after my visit to the hospital, and things went great! I hung out with a few friends I haven’t seen in a while and went home and went to bed.
Now, this past weekend Bean calls me while Farmkid and I are hanging out saying that I need to talk to her about why I haven’t been talking to her. I told her about the problems I’ve been having and she says “Drac told me that you’re avoiding me. He said you were hanging out with him Tuesday and told him you didn’t want to talk to me!” At this point I was fed up and told her I knew what was going on and explained all of my past relationships and how Drac always had a connection with them breaking up with me. She immediately told me about some of the weird and manipulative shit he’s been doing. It turns out he’s been trying to get Bean to break up with me. He also apparently broke up with Kayla and has been using that as and excuse to be creepy toward Bean.
So yesterday I went to his house and confronted him. Both of his younger siblings were listening but didn’t care. I told him how I knew about everything he’s been doing and how I was tired of it. I asked him to explain it all to me. This son of a bitch had the AUDACITY to say “I don’t reacall any of this.” So I told him to stay the fuck out of my life, or else there will be a problem.
Now Drac, if you’re reading this, fuck you and I wish you could’ve been honest for your sake. As much as I wish all of this was a joke or a sick lie that all of my past relationships have told me, I know it’s not. I hope you can learn to respect yourself enough to stop.
I hope you guys enjoyed. There’s plenty more stories to tell if you want them!!
TL;DR My best friend lied to all of my exes and thought I wouldn’t find out when he told my current girlfriend, so I went his house and confronted him and he denied all of it.
Edit: Fixed a ton of Spelling errors because fuck this phone. And also thank you guys so much for a hundred upvotes in one night! I don’t really know if that’s a lot but I guess I’ll understand Reddit more with time! Once again, thank you!
submitted by Arizona_Iced__T to neckbeardstories [link] [comments]


2020.10.13 01:00 azade12 Nude moms flashing

📷
I only need two buttons, Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V. copypasta JOINHotNewTopNEW POSTS83Posted byu/GeniusDude279 hours ago
I like ya cut g 📷
young supposedly African American male is playing a digital video game on a cellular device old supposedly African American male walks up to him while recording on a cellular device Supposedly older African American male : Oh, I see and understand that you (younger African American male), are partaking in the enjoyment of playing the digital video game made by mojang studios widely known as Minecraft. I particularly enjoy your new haircut, g. I will now proceed to slap you in the back of your cranium with the palm of my hand. older supposedly African American male proceeds with the action he said he would do younger supposedly African American male proceeds to shriek at a very high pitch with his vocal cords the video recording then ends, with the younger supposedly African American male screeching
This is humorous due to the fact that the slap in the back of the cranium is very unexpected, and also the unorthodox conversation as “oh you playin Minecraft”, and, “I like ya cut g”. Overall, this is a 7/10 on the humorous scale.
14 CommentsGive AwardShareSave147Posted byu/starcringe14 hours ago
Then she tried to jack me off 📷
My gf was slow cooking ribs and I guess there were done in the middle of the night. So this woman wakes me up at 3AM and goes "Here babe, I've been trying how to cook properly so i can be a good wife in the future." So we sat in bed and ate ribs. We stare at each other and It was indeed love. I've found my soulmate.
Then she tried to jack me off
15 CommentsGive AwardShareSave21Posted byu/Capital_Invite5 hours ago
Guys please click on this reddit is my last hope... 📷
So i was doing the dishes but then i accidentally smashed a plate. So my mom threw the fucking fridge at me. Now she is blaming me for the broken fridge and she says I have to pay for it :( I'm really upset. My mom told me to make her a cup of coffee, but when i didn't add any cream she got out a fucking gun. Luckily I managed to dodge the shot. I'm really scared what should I do? If I try and call the police she might hear me and smash the phone. I might try and climb out the window and sprint to my uncle's house. It might be too risky tho.
I'm currently hiding in our washing machine. Help is appreciated! Send help!
Edit: she found me running on the street and shot me twice. Im bleeding and i think im gonna die. Please help. She is still talking abt how I have to pay for the fridge
Edit 2: my right hand fell off. Typing with one hand will be hard but ill try
Edit 3: its midnight
Edit 6: i am on the plane to Norway to live with my great-grandfather.
Edit 7: my plane is going to fucking crash. We are over the arctic circle and they are sending emergency broadcasts.
Edit 8: my mom called me and told me shes forgiven me
Edit 9: i no longer have to pay for the fridge :)
Edit 14: Thanks for the support, everyone! Especially all those gold awards 😋😁 yum
6 CommentsGive AwardShareSave24Posted byu/CooIpenguin16 hours ago
I cummybot2000 will cum if this gets 2 upvotes 📷
I, u/cummybot2000 hereby commit to cumming if this comment gets 2 upvotes
9 CommentsGive AwardShareSave46Posted byu/Jack-Land11 hours ago📷📷
Haha awards are so dumb right guys they're just paid emojis am I right 📷
Haha awards are so dumb right guys they're just paid emojis am I right
Edit: u/Johnlasagan You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as an insult by edgy twelve year olds. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sac religious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. We might as well never have been born, because surely not any amount of satanic mass would be able to affect the world as negatively as you just did. The only reason I am not reporting you to the police as we speak is that I know for a fact that their weak, pathetic prisons will never be able to hold such an indescribable evil. No wonder your dad beat you when you were little, it turns out he was trying to guard the world from the colossal mistake he had created. Jesus had every right to try to make you retarded, because he was only trying to immobilize the incredible failure that is you so that your terrible mistakes may not spread to innocent foreign countries all over the world. He has not succeeded though, because your indescribable failure was on such an incredibly ginormous scale, that not even the possible life forms at the edge of the universe could have been guarded from it. Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. I may not be a human, but I will forever have more humanity than you, for you are truly a wretched, horrible, filthy, evil monster because of what you just did. No wonder society rejected you: you were eventually going to break it beyond recognition. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. The world would have been so much better of if you had never joined it. You say you want to help the world but then you destroy everything everyone has ever worked for to such an extreme extent immediately when you have the chance? You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being. We could just have you replace Satan, except even Satan is not that evil, and because of his motherfucking trickery he at least is fucking useful! Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if there was a god, he would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror movies made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the viewer has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. In the future, YouTube videos will get demonetized for making a sound that even resembles your name, and social media posts will get flagged and taken down for daring to speak about a topic like you. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but here you are. It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did. The nations of this world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring. You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the plague apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created. If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again. The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world and the Milky Way, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world. You are an irresponsible, idiotic, disgusting, unloved, horrible excuse for a living being who’s soul contains less humanity than every ginger in history combined. There is no one in this world that has ever loved you, and especially after what you just did, no one will ever love you in the future either. There is no hope that your idiotic behavior and especially your crooked soul will ever change for the better, and in fact quite the opposite might be true. By making the mistake that you just did, you have shown me that you are so incredibly hopeless that you will only devolve into a more idiotic and wretched creature than you already are. The only possible way in which your future would be brighter than the black hole your existence currently is would exclusively be because there is absolutely no conceivable way that you would even be able to sink lower than the pathetic place your current failure has put you in. But than again, you are so incredibly abominable that you would probably be able to surpass the worst conceivable failure a living being could possibly make. You are so incredibly pathetic that you are honestly not worthy of any more of my words nor my time. Just know that I will forever detest you for your failure and everything you stand for, and that no matter what happens, I will never ever forgive you.
10 CommentsGive AwardShareSave33Posted byu/girls-pmmeyournudes9 hours ago📷
Oh Cummy, 📷
From the moment I laid my eyes on you I could tell you were the hottest piece of meat I’ve ever seen. Every night I’d drool, piss, shit, cum, and shiver at the thought of your humid breath caressing the back of my neck. I’ll keep this short and sweet Cummy, I love you, I always have. Will you marry me?
10 CommentsGive AwardShareSave•Posted byu/Civexian1 hour ago
Hey women - CAN I MARRY YOUR BOOBIES?!?! 📷
Hey women!!! “I am totally not a nerd” swoons down and kisses you xD thats my catchphrase so we can identify eachother... well basicaley I (34m) and my girlfriend or gf (21f trigender septsexual) is SUPER GOTH and has HUGE Boobs!?!?? XD I always get so distracted ... (have ADHD) well, anyways her face is DISGUSTING... xd what do i do.... her MILKIES are huge tho, and i want to marrier her TITTLES, but not her. So, women, can i do this??!??!?
4 CommentsGive AwardShareSave288Posted byu/Isa-lizard22 hours ago📷
I am not gay nsfw📷37 CommentsGive AwardShareSave•Posted byu/imneverusingreddit2 hours ago📷
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5 CommentsGive AwardShareSave15Posted byu/Surgicalcell6 hours ago
The stages of gay 📷
The stages of gay:

  1. ⁠denial
  2. ⁠im straight but I like that guy
  3. ⁠maybe I am bi
  4. ⁠women aren’t hot, only guys
  5. ⁠typing this while sucking a dick
  6. ⁠oh yeah cum in me baby
  7. ⁠same time next week?
  8. ⁠I can’t get enough dick
5 CommentsGive AwardShareSave•Posted byu/ShadowStryk3r34 minutes ago
Let's say you were to bang a zombie. 📷
Let's say you were to touch a zombie's boob. It would be soft, not firm, even during rigor mortis, because boob has no muscle in it. Let's also say that for some reason you were to bang a zombie. For simplicity, the virus will keep the corpse in the state it was infected. If the zombie has been reanimated during the rigor mortis phase, it's insides will all be extremely tight and will stay mostly tight, so you'll get something along the lines of jiangshi. If corpse has been reanimated after rigor mortis, muscles will be relatively relaxed, and have some to little energy in them. And no, it is not necrophilia because the corpse has been reanimated by living viruses. Lips would depend on death stage, cuz muscles. Let's also say the virus restored more function than basic instincts (id). It would probably have to reconstruct neurons in the speech sections to talk, and more neurons for fine muscle movement. Given enough proper development, zombies would be able to speak. This wouldn't sound nice tho, since, y'know, the muscle issue. If the virus is especially advanced, it may restore muscle function to a point where it can control itself better (pinch hard, pinch soft, etc.). If the virus is so advanced where it completely restores normal function, then it may be reclassified as a human again. Memories would be dependent on how deteriorated the brain is. If the memory section of the brain is even slightly messed up, there would be blank spots in said person's memory, or none at all. Many factors come into play. If the body is very freshly dead, then the advanced zombie virus would completely restore the person, warm body and all. As for energy gathering, the most likely option would be to restart organs and start consuming food. The virus, seeing no need for our way reproduction, may develop a way to transfer itself to others. Perhaps through airborne spores, or thru body contact and boarding. The reproductive systems of human body may be used as a form of transfer, but this would have varying effectiveness, as no one wants to bang a dead-lookin thing. If the corpse is not fresh, then violation or another form of reproduction must be developed. If the virus reaches such a stage that it can be on par with humans, then it's literally just gonna be humans. But dead. Feel free to correct me, I am trying to make this as polished as possible. (You can cut these last two sentences out for copy pasting. Discord will mark this as too big, by the way.)
5 CommentsGive AwardShareSave10Posted byu/paperr-cranes5 hours ago
if you're going down a river at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof? 📷
Well we can eliminate the the unnecessary information and get to our main question, how much pancake mix is needed to re shingle the roof. The standard roof has 240’ shingles on it so if we do an even spread of the pancake mix (to use as an adhesive) we would need to cover 24,000 square feet of a Gable roof. The standard bag of pancake mix is 32 oz that means in a thin paste we can cover 475 sq ft. So all we need to do is divide. If we divide 24,000/475 we get around 51 bags of pancake mix. If each bag of pancake mix costs an average of 7.42 we would get a cost of 378 dollars and 42 cents.
4 CommentsGive AwardShareSave7Posted byu/TheTwoHB3 hours ago
I want to bang the JFK clone from Clone High so goddamn bad 📷
Holy fucking shit, I want to bang the JFK clone from Clone High so goddamn bad. Even before the memes my lust for him was immeasurable but now, now I see him fucking everywhere and it makes my cock ache. I religiously watch Clone High JFK funniest moments compilations while stroking my dick and only nut when it reaches that one episode where JFK has Homoerotic feelings for Joan who is dressed as a man. Every second JFK from Clone High isn’t rawing my ass is a second of unimaginable pain and suffering. I want to fuck JFK.
10 CommentsGive AwardShareSave24Posted byu/rp0p11 hours ago
Copypasta put through emojifier bot 23 times 📷
Hey 👋 👋 there. This will be a repeated 🔄 🔄 copypasta 🍝 🍝 which will be deleted ❌ 🔥 exactly 👌🙈😏 👌 23 👔🛣 👔🛣 times 🕐🕛🍆 🕐 until this sentence ✍ 🤐 turns 🔄 💃 into a whole 💦😍 💦 paragraph 😁😂😃 😁😂😃 because of the sheer 😔😍🙁 😁 amount 🔢📉 🔢📉 of emojis 😂 😂 in it.
8 CommentsGive AwardShareSave17Posted byu/pinkmariahh9 hours ago
dude, come here.. 📷
dude, come here 👋 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘺..? 😬 i fuckin knew it dude 😫 you have like a ✨boyfriend✨ or what? oh! sooo cuuute 🤗 i knew- you know how i know dude? 😌 cause you be lookin 👀 around and shit 🙂 thats so cute 🤗 a lot of people would be scared 😨 here.. a lot of people would be ✨scared✨ and 𝘪’𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘦𝘮 🤭
source: https://youtu.be/ECvazCAc-LM
4 CommentsGive AwardShareSave380Posted byu/ToAsTyBoI-_-1 day ago
I'M GONNA PROTEST AGAINST MY CHRISTIAN SCHOOL'S ANTI-DILDO RULE! I'M GONNA HAND OUT 200 DILDOS ON MONDAY! (lets get this to popular) 📷
I'M GONNA PROTEST AGAINST MY CHRISTIAN SCHOOL'S ANTI-DILDO RULE! I'M GONNA HAND OUT 200 DILDOS ON MONDAY! (lets get this to popular)
My school has banned dildos so me and my mom bought 200 dildos and i'm gonna give everyone a dildo on monday and everyone is gonna protest and aggressively masturbate against the school's anti-dildo rule on monday!
Edit: I JUST ORDERED MORE DILDOS, 200 UNITS ARE READY WITH A MILLION MORE WELL ON THE WAY! LETS DO THIS!!! And they are re-useable
(obviously sarcasm to fight the karma-whore fighting the karma whore by being a karma whore)
14 CommentsGive AwardShareSave•Posted byu/--YoshikageKira--26 minutes ago
Can we talk about holdthemoan 📷
Since were talking about NSFW subreddits, can we talk about holdthemoan? I've been dying to talk about holthemoan. Lets talk about holdthemoan. For those who don't know, holdthemoan is a subreddit about people touching themselves or fucking in public while people are in close proximity. Where you have to hold the moan or be caught.
It is trashy as hell and kind of messed up for involving nonconsenting people in your voyeurs fetish. Anyway, were not discussing morality of this subreddit. Were talking about how that subreddit has been ruined by coomers and "verified amateurs".
When holdthemoan got popular, these "verified amateurs" came in and started flooding the subreddit with vague photos that hardly relate to the subreddit. Flashing your tits in an empty Walmart isle isn't holdthemoan, that is PublicFlashing. No Patrick, flashing your pussy in the woods isn't holdthemoan too. These "verified amateurs" flood dozens of different subreddits to get karma and sell their nudes in the DM.
I have no issue with anyone making money by selling nudes or sex tapes. I have an issue with spamming subreddits with content that isn't directly related to them. You would think the subreddit's community won't stand for this spam. Yet, they're all like the comments in this video. They're just coomers hitting on these women.
But what about the moderators? They don't care about it. They relaxed the rules. They would have the subreddit be full of spam. Instead of a nicely curated subreddit with relevant content.
They rolled out the red carpet for these "verified amateurs" to just flood their subreddit. Because they didn't want to moderate the subreddit. Fucking coomers.
4 CommentsGive AwardShareSave12.1kPosted byu/GiraffeGyro1 day ago📷8📷7📷5📷5& 15 More
Among Us hater gets owned epicly 😎😎😎 📷
Red sus. Red suuuus. I said red, sus, hahahahaha. Why arent you laughing? I just made a reference to the popular video game "Among Us"! How can you not laugh at it? Emergeny meeting! Guys, this here guy doesnt laugh at my funny Among Us memes!
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2020.10.06 02:40 tifuthrowawayfml Nude moms flashing

Yeah, there's alot to unpack here so I'll try to keep this as short as possible. A couple weeks back/a month or two ago me and my best friend Rick were in the hot tub together when out of nowhere Rick decides to start jerking off. I didn't believe he was, so out of curiousty (and because he said "reach your hand over here" and made a gesturing motion with his head) I reached my hand towards his crotch area. I felt something long and kinda skinny so at first I thought it was just his finger and kinda laughed it off but then he told me it wasnt and cleared the bubbles and I saw my hand grasping onto his dick. I just froze in shock but then he said I could rub it if i wanted to so I did. I consented and so did he so its not like we didn't like it but I was confused as fuck at the time. Anyway, flash foward to about mabye a week or so later and we hang out again. We were going to my grandmas house to swim with my family but Rick forgot his swimming trunks at his house so we had to go get them. We both went in and me and Rick went to the basement (in his old room) to go look for them and when we were down there he said I could jerk him off again while we were down there, and thats what I did, but then things escalated and I ended up sucking his dick. It sounds weird to say but strangely I kind of liked it. It was like sucking on an unflavored lolipop, and he said I was really good at it too (and ive never even sucked a dick before so I don't know how im good at it but thats cool ig). Another mabye 2 weeks pass and we hang out again, this time at his grandparents house, and while we were there I ended up sucking his dick and jerking him off while he was playing fortnite. We had to stop once we heard a noise downstairs because we didn't want to get caught. The last time I sucked his dick was at my house in the basement. He was laying on my bed and I was sucking him off while he recorded me doing it and sent it to a group DM of me him and this gay dude that sends him pics of nude chicks/porn (18+) for dick pics/videos. There were other instances where he would let me jack him off while he was driving or he flashed me in the pool several times. He's in washington DC now visiting family so I won't get to see him for probably another week or so which sucks, cause I really do miss him...as a friend.
Anyway, yeah that was pretty long sorry about that I just had to put in that background info before I got to the real shit. So last night when me and my brother were in the hot tub chilling and talking about life (and after 2 drinks, a watermellon vodka with 8% alv and a 5% truly) I ended up telling my brother about Rick and how I sucked his dick. and how his dick actually isnt big its actually pretty big, and how i jacked him off in the hot tub, etc. He said he felt like he was dreaming and kept questioning if i really sucked a dick and said no way and said he would be proud of i did noelle (a girl in my friend group) and told me i should tell mom about this. i told him not to tell mom but he said i really should and he said ok i wont but today he said hes been wanting to tell mom and im sure he really wants to, but i dont want to come out to my parents or even tell them i did something like this because i was just experimenting. That's all it was, and I don't even know if im truly gay or not! Like i still like girls but i also like guys in some ways. its so fucking confusing and yeah i could be bi but even my parents and brother say im probably not bi im just confused since i havent had many friends growing up which makes this shit even MORE confusing....oh yeah this is a TIFU...uhhh...
TL;DR: I sucked and jerked a guy off, accidently told my brother about it while buzzed off alcohol, and have been questioning my sexuality ever since.
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2020.10.05 16:09 HaulA5Oct Nude moms flashing

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2020.09.28 23:57 thiscontradiction Bipolar Mania Hanukkah Joyride 2019.

 I have pretty bad bipolar, To the point where I’ve been hospitalized multiple times, and I’ve tried a slew of drugs to help but to no avail. My first actual manic episode occurred in 2011 accompanied by a god complex and believing that my car became a time machine. I would stay at random places in the city of Chicago that year, until I finally ended up back in my parents house in the suburbs which was the very last place I wanted to go after having a failed suicide attempt there prior to my mania. I have saved most of my manic episode images and videos on my hard drives these past few years in an attempt to keep myself from going off the deep end like that again, little did I know that it would not help in any sense of the word. Last year I was self medicating myself with whatever street drugs I could get my hands on to help alleviate my internal brain pains of this existence, and I had been doing it for a while so nothing really changed in that regard, however I had a brilliant idea for a new cryptocurrency and it really took off on 4chan. This token was going to break into the adult webcam tipping industry which is currently in the hands of many third party websites and they don’t even use crypto. So in this stroke of self supposed brilliance a team of incredibly talented people came into my life and helped me develop my idea further. I was broke so I had no actual money to pay these guys, however they were kind enough to accept the tokens that I made as part of their share and payment for the work they completed. Things were off to an amazing start, we had a website, and an incredible back end developer who was on an entire different level as far as his knowledge of cryptography and cryptocurrency development. As things progressed slowly I began to have these ideas of also self supposed brilliance, like being able to decipher and decode my personal subjective viewpoint of reality and also communicate to myself through this “external” self of my immediate environment outside of time/space. Simulation theory also played a big role, along with synchronicity and the phrase “there are no coincidences.” Repeated through my unbeknownst to me revving up doozy of a manic episode. It was so gradual and logical to me in those moments that I never for a chance thought that I was on my way to yet another mega minded god complex episode. As I started spiraling downward in viewpoints of many who had invested in my project, my mother eventually called the police to my apartment for a wellness check. Now I had gotten kicked out of my previous place for inviting some real shitheads to move in, in order to make my newly ex 21 year old girlfriend and my old roommate as uncomfortable as possible. Yeah she started sleeping with my roommate after I got a job...anyway, I digress. I was able to move into an amazing studio apartment using funds that I had obtained from selling a few billion of my tokens to a guy OTC. 
Things just seemed to magically come together for me in this manic state of mind. So the first wellness check went horribly, as when the police came I was totally naked and they had to convince me to put my clothes on upon entering my abode. It didn’t take me long to figure out I needed clothes to go outside as I was making the argument that I was doing nothing wrong being nude in my own apartment. Next thing I know it’s been 10 entire days in a psych ward.
 When I finally got out I was welcomed to my entire crypto project team abandoning not only myself but the project entirely. I was devastated and felt betrayed. They had put up a paragraph on the old website giving details on the situation and how they were moving forward with things and starting a new project. I kept moving at incredible speed towards the insanity cliffs that I could not see from my level viewpoint of the mental plane ahead of me. To the point of running away from my apartment because I was afraid my mom would call the police on me once again. I ended up taking the train all the way to Wisconsin and started walking to Milwaukee from there. I had an ex girlfriend that I had hoped might take me in there. I walked until my feet started disintegrating off my legs. I managed to get most of the way to Milwaukee where the police arrested me for walking on the side of the freeway. When they pulled over I was very resistant about them taking me with them from my PTSD recent psych ward fun times. They ended up only keeping me in jail for the rest of the evening before releasing me into the late night fog. For some reason while I was in jail I got paranoid that those who were in with me were trying to poison me and have me locked in a cell to be killed, so immediately upon release I fled to the nearest bus bound as far north and away from that place as possible. I literally started seeing synchronicities that confirmed all of my increasingly delusional thoughts, going as far as thinking my parents were abusive to us as children and they too were joining in the hunt. I had flashes of imagery of my parents being horrible people and torturing children, and I continued my escape to self assured places of safety. One of the areas I found myself in once I exited walking for miles along some railroad tracks. I felt people trying to ambush me and trap me in this small religious residential town that seemed surrounded by a massive fence with barbed wire. At one point I took my shirt off and acted like a jogger, to where someone released their dogs leash and right onto me...this was not imagined. I ran as fast as I could into a parked boat that was half filled with rain water, and I was so scared that I had to actually dip myself all the way into that very frigid water through my pants as I literally felt hunted. I heard gunshots and voices shouting in the distance, dogs barking, I just laid there completely motionless for my life depended on it. When I finally thought the coast was clear I got out as inconspicuously as possible to which I was met with yet another thunderous brigade of voices and gunshots. I then found myself in a recycling bin before I started to sneak very low around parked cars in the driveways. I finally made it to the end of this nightmare as I could see the fence beyond a final row of houses. I waited a few minutes before finally darting at full speed to and over that barbed wire fence cutting my lower back in the process. So there I was, shirtless, bleeding from a decent sized cut on my back, down the side of a road with quite a bit of traffic, coupled with my state of mind at that time it felt very supernatural. I felt like people were staring at me from their cars and recognizing me as a being not from this world. In my mind I had thought I recognized specific entities that I was channeling information from through the akashic records. I had started posting rap style videos on TikTok, delving through a multitude of emotional ranges and topics. I had thought I was trying to wake up the entire planet to the illusion pulled into their eyes. The final experience I had upon returning south to Milwaukee took me through open fields continuing to feel like a hunted piece of wild game. I felt that there were other beings that joined this hunt as well, that were not human at all. So now I was trying to evade an alien species that I had thought was controlling the police from the woods of Milwaukee. I had the idea to try to mimic who I had thought these creatures looked and moved like, and I inverted my jacket to further disguise my appearance. I had thought I saw them coming out of the woods so I figured that was where the alien’s nest was. It was logical for me to try my best to blend in with them, and of all places to look for me, the last place I would think they would search would be their very own nest. So I mimicked what I thought they were doing going in and out of the woods at a high speed and with veracity. I waited until all cars passed and ran full speed into the woods, and being surprised with not only very thick trees, thorns, and bushes...but a very steep declined terrain. It was very hard for me to control but I kept running through and downward to the depths of what I thought would be an alien nest hell hole. It was pitch black that night and I could barely make out anything without the occasional moonlight dancing on my immediate surroundings. I dove for 5 minutes of down this steep terrain while trees and sharp sticks tore parts of my coat. I began to see a clearing...it was water. As I exited the tree line I walked along this seemingly endless lake that had lights out incredibly far on the horizon, I came to the conclusion that the aliens lived underwater in this lake and the lights were potentially part of their base. As I continued walking down the sliver of a shoreline among the bushes, I saw something I was not expecting...severed giraffe heads with their tongues sticking out. It was surreal. I concluded that this was a place where they studied our animals and dissected them. Upon seeing this I noticed that in the near tree line there was a break, and a very comfortable looking incline out from the pits of that hell I had stumbled into, which would have been a hell of a lot more comfortable coming down here. I calmly walked up and out of there as casually as possible. 
The police then picked me up after I told them where I was headed and it was around Christmas, so they obliged.
 I had figured I passed their test and was now the alpha dog in the system of control there in Milwaukee. These scenes and experiences are as close to what I experienced in those moments as I can possibly detail, the police got me on a bus back to Chicago where I finally made it home. This of course was not the end. I had left all of my keys including my crypto cold storage wallet and a lot of clothes I had with me in the deep woods in Milwaukee, so upon arriving to my apartment I could not enter. I ended up throwing a brick into the back door window and entering finally to what I thought would be peace. The entire building I lived in was dead quiet. I had thought that my neighbors were all taken out by black ops because they had been a part of an organized crime scheme, but it was just Christmas. Even my neighbors’ annoying dog was gone and I assumed they had shot it as well. It is truly incredible what a completely delusional mind is capable of, and I was completely sober the entire time. Once I finally got a chance to sit for a minute and gather my highly dependable thoughts and realized I needed to go to Walmart. I was all comfortable and showered as well as wearing a super comfy ninja turtles onesie that I was planning on rocking in the store while shopping. Immediately upon exiting my apartment complex I realized that I no longer had keys and there was no way I could get to the back door without someone letting me through. I took this as a sign to once again leave my apartment and my belongings and find a safer place. The universe confirmed that I wasn’t supposed to go back home, I had no key and I locked myself out. I headed straight downtown. It was now one of the days on Hanukkah and there were Jewish people everywhere. I felt their eyes grazing me and giving me chuckles as I was wearing this giant green fleece ninja turtles onesie walking around downtown Chicago. I was wearing some old shoes at the time, but because I had convinced myself that shoes were hurting my ability to practice walking correctly for my anatomy, I ditched them in the streets. I walked up to the nearest train station and got on. When I was on the train I had noticed some printouts taped to the car walls showing a human figure above the tracks with a little electric zap near his feet. In my mind I saw this as directions someone had left me on how to finally exit the matrix. I was supposed to jump on the tracks and I would be out of this place as Neo did with landline phones. I slowly made my way to the very rear car of the train and opened the door and slinkied my way through the last safety chain keeping me from my finally found freedom from this horrible nightmare of a “reality” game. I made my way onto the tracks and hopped on top of them in my bare feet. I finally made it to the electrified elevated rail and braced myself for the incoming trip of a lifetime. I gathered all the courage I had and made the jump...nothing. Ok strange. I jumped off and made my way along the other tracks further analyzing them to make sure I had indeed jumped on the electrified track. Confused as I verified it was, I hopped along the other tracks and back towards the wooden platform. During this entire scene there were many people, mostly Jewish who were trying to convince me not to do what I was trying to do. They didn’t know I was escaping the matrix, they thought I was trying to harm myself. I pressed on. I noticed there was a space between the two directional electrified tracks where I would be able to grab one line in each hand, further securing the one way journey I was about to take. I knew that if I grabbed them palms down I wouldn’t let go. I walked to the area and braced myself for what very well might still be a very painful ride out. I got on my knees between the tracks and told myself there was no way I would come this far and go though all of this hell to pussy out now. I gathered all of my courage and grabbed both lines. Again I was met with nothing. Maybe I was immune to the electricity? Maybe I had already made the trip? Very confused I started waking on the tracks back towards the shouting people and the platform. Jumping on each rail one foot at a time. BOOM. It hit me before my big toe even touched one of the rails. It threw me immediately off the track and I had a brief moment of unconsciousness while in the air. I landed between the tracks and continued to make it to the platform. A jolt of intense pain shot up my foot from a now bloody big toenail. This was entirely unexpected to me as the track I had gotten jolted from was the one I had tested previously with no power. Confused and a bit tingly and disoriented I limped in pain back up to the wooden platform. One of the guards asked if I was alright and I just hurried past them saying I was fine. I got down to the street and in my hazy mind was able to make out a van with its driver standing next to it open and running in the street. Taking this as a sign to move quickly I jumped into his car and shut the door while he yelled for me to not continue. I then grabbed the wheel and hit the gas. I was getting out of here. I never thought I could drive this fast. I was weaving in and out of traffic, barely missing both cars and pedestrians, while assuming the police wouldn’t be far behind. I threw the man’s phone and toll device out of the window as soon as I could. I was still wearing my coat on top of my onesie which I had failed to mention earlier, and while driving I made sure I inverted it and try to blend in to normal flowing traffic. In my stable mind I had come to the conclusion that this van had been used for human trafficking and that there were dead children unseen in the rear cargo space. I felt like this was a mission to infiltrate this trafficking network to find out what was really happening. I had to once again blend in. I drove as fast as I could for the immediate escape of the city, and upon the freeway I stayed within the laws of the road. I made it through several small towns until one seemed as if a police car had started to escort me a certain direction. I acted at first to be taking his direction until halfway through a turn I bolted in the opposite direction, ensuing a chase. Many cars were then called and I was being actively chased now and I started driving to the very ends of my physical limits of reaction time and the vans capability of speed and control. I thought I had a way out, but soon I realized I was trapped. I saw a bus parked near the casino where I had ended up and thought this might have been a drop off/pickup location for the traffickers. I stopped for a moment next to the bus and made eye contact to a very confused looking driver. I then started trying to maneuver away until I quickly ran out of road and bottomed out the delivery van. My ride was coming to an end, I had managed to take half of my onesie off while being in between pursuit so I was now half naked and being commanded by many gun wielding police officers to get out of the vehicle. Thankfully I had remembered in that moment it is very important to always show your hands to police. This detail may have saved me from being suicided by making a wrong move. I was still stuck in the car with my seatbelt on, and repeated to the officers that I was moving my hand to release the belt and open the door. I opened the door and they proceeded to have me crawl on my stomach towards them scraping against sharp chunks of broken concrete along the way. I kept crawling for seemingly forever as any one of these cops or a failed movement on my part could end this moment quite disastrously. I finally was allowed to get up with their assistance and subsequent handcuffing. They sat me on a large piece of concrete and tried to cover my genital area while trying not to laugh. It was quite the site I am sure. A half naked man wearing a green onesie barefoot and bleeding from his driving toe. I was laughing with the cops and small banter was exchanged as they tried to figure out what to do with me. They asked me what was going on and I told them I know where the bodies were, and I pointed to the concrete that was laying in the area. I was convinced that all the missing children’s bodies were being disposed of via pulverizing and into our cities concrete structures and sidewalks. I didn’t say this to the officers but assumed they knew what I meant when I pointed to the concrete when they asked. I slowly got paranoid they were going to try to kill me. I was asking them questions about where they were taking me and I had thought this was finally the end. I knew too much. An ambulance arrived and I was taken to my certain death. I arrived at a hospital and they take the common questions and my paranoia is in high gear. They wanted to strap me into the gurney and I kept vehemently refusing. They actually respected my decision as long as I was calm. Slowly my paranoid mentality began to fade as I was logically asking myself why nurses would waste all the effort testing me physically if they were just going to kill me anyway. I was finally safe. Until they injected me with antipsychotics. I am not a fan of big pharma, but I can attest that the shots did help kick me out of my delusional mind. The side effects were horrible, but my mind was finally getting to a point where I could see my insanely delusional mind from the outside instead of through the failed system I had unintentionally built over the course of the last few months. I will never forget this experience. It was indeed life changing and PTSD inducing. I have a completely new respect for what the mind can do, and what seemingly benign and silly mental games can potentially become. I had thought I figured it out, all the while reminding myself that I hadn’t, but also feeling as I was the one who was chosen by the architect of the universe to be his speaker and teacher. I had convinced myself I was an ascended master, practicing transcendental mediation. I also was microwaving my head in order to “sync” myself further to the extradimensional planes. I had put silly putty in the mechanism so it would stay on when opened. I also created a type of microwave shield for my entire apartment by keeping it open and running in an effort to prevent potential enemies from using heat vision on my place. I thought the microwaves would make it incredibly hard or impossible to see my heat signature. I was teaching people on the street how to walk. That part is actually true. Balls first, your pinky toe side of your foot is supposed to make first contact, followed by your big toe ball and finally your heel. Look it up. ;) This was quite an unplanned story but I hope you enjoyed the ride and the experience as best as I could convey to to you and your incredibly complex and relatively small space between your two ears. If you believe in something strongly enough, it will become real to you based on your subjective viewpoint of those firmly held ideas or concepts. Thank you and have an incredible rest of your vibrant and passionate existence. Remember to respect yourselves and the power you have both individually and collectively. 4444. <3 
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2020.09.21 16:48 HaulA21Sepl Flashing nude moms

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2020.09.21 12:10 MikeJesus Nude moms flashing

Before she was the reason I don’t let my children play in the yard after sundown she was our friend.
Even though we moved out to suburbia for a calmer life, three years of interacting with people that were about as interesting as slowly drying paint was starting to take its toll on us. Yes, the house was a great investment. Yes, waking up to a life free of shitty landlords made the morning coffee taste better. Sure, the school district we had moved to would be great for our slowly toothing children. But my wife and me lived an existence about as exciting as our neighbors, which is to say not at all.
When Elizabeth moved into the house opposite ours our life blossomed.
In the morning we noticed moving trucks parked in front of the house across the street. By sundown she was standing at our doorstep with a bottle of wine. She had the dress sense of a college freshman on laundry day, yet along with her youth camp hoodie and pineapple patterned sweatpants Elizabeth rocked an expensive assortment of jewelry. Small runes studded in emerald hung from her earlobes and an intricately carved silver medallion dangled off her neck. An excited fire for conversation burned in her eyes.
She was the type of eccentric that we didn’t want to raise kids around back in the city.
She was the type of eccentric that we so sorely missed in suburbia.
Linda put the kids to bed, I pulled some chairs out on the porch and we opened up Elizabeth’s bottle of red. Soon enough I was fetching another bottle of wine out of the house and looking for something that could double as an ash-tray for our chatty house guest. The more we drank the less me and my wife felt like Mom and Dad, as we swapped eerie stories with our new neighbor bits and pieces of our past started to reemerge. We were still Greg and Linda, functioning adults, but we were also the same Greg and Linda who ate way too many mushrooms at a Russian psy-trance festival less than a decade ago.
After we finished the second bottle of wine I grabbed a couple of beers out of the garage and fished out some weed I had stashed away for a rainy day. In an effort to be eco-friendly the street lamps in our neighborhood never stayed on past midnight. We drank until the only thing cutting through the darkness was the porch light and the night sky.
Halfway through the joint Linda started falling asleep. She excused herself and went to bed. I would have followed my wife, but it felt like a shame to waste half a joint. I bid her goodnight and hoped she would still be up by the time I would get to the bedroom.
“Ever notice anything weird ever happen with my house?” Elizabeth broke the stoned silence we were indulging in. “Like, flashing lights, strange sounds in the middle of the night, spooky stuff.”
The neighborhood was a dark silhouette of repeating architecture, a sky chaotically littered with stars shined above us. I was way too stoned to understand her question.
She passed me the joint. I shook my head.
“Can I let you in on a little secret Greg?” She asked.
“I’ll have to run that by my wife,” I replied.
“Oh, you can tell her, she’s cool,” Elizabeth replied quickly, “Just, I don’t know, if you do end up talking to the neighbors maybe don’t mention it. You guys get it, you’ve spent time around artists. Don’t know if the rest of the neighborhood would be so understanding.”
Thoughts of my cool wife lying in bed upstairs were tugging at my brain but Elizabeth’s hushed tone stirred my interest.
“Alright, as long as it’s not a murder or something then your secret is safe with me and Linda.”
She passed me the joint again. I shook my head again.
“I mean, the secret is concerning murders, multiple murders actually.” She let her words ring out for dramatic effect, enough to send a shiver of discomfort down my spine. “I didn’t kill anyone, but like, four homicides happened in my house,” she added with another puff of smoke.
The shadowy outline of her home looked no different than any of the other houses on the street. “Really?” I asked.
“Yep. 1954, 1982, 1984, 1988. Murder suicides, each one of them.”
“Sounds like the 80s were rough.” I found myself saying.
Elizabeth smiled. “When my pare- When I bought this house I did a bit of research. Murder houses go for cheaper, plus, I figured a murder house could have an interesting vibe for my art.”
I consumed the new information. It was nice to be speaking to someone who wasn’t aggressively boring, but the conversation was getting into the spirit of the 4AM bar-chat that makes hangovers more punishing. I yawned and started to get off my chair. If I didn’t join my wife soon Elizabeth would ramble my ear off about something that was way too eccentric for my tastes.
“Do you believe in places having souls Greg?” she asked before I could make my escape. Linda was always good at leaving parties before the pretentious psychobabble reared its head.
“Nope,” I said, trying to give off a vibe Elizabeth wasn’t catching.
“Well, I do. I think that whatever happens in a specific corner of the world stays with that specific corner of the world for a long time. Ever walked down an old lover’s lane? Or, like, an old battlefield? There’s energy in those places. You can feel it in the air, you walk where others have once walked and feel past lives lived, lost, experienced. The history that tales of human tragedy and love and pain and – oh my god I’m rambling.” She handed me the joint. “Sorry, I haven’t had a proper drink since I came back from Vietnam. Didn’t mean to get all artsy on you.”
“It’s fine, I’m used to it.”
“I can tell,” she said, getting up, “Anywho, if you ever see something eerie going on with the house please do give me a heads up. I think I could really work the spirit of the house into my art.”
“Yeah, I’ll be sure to keep an eye out,” I said, knowing that I wasn’t going to.
Over the next couple of months Elizabeth became a regular visitor at our house. She had zero interest in holding our son and would squirm in discomfort whenever our daughter tried talking to her, but what Elizabeth lacked in child skills she made up for in storytelling finesse. Every week or two she would drop by our porch and we would drink and smoke and talk the night away.
She told us about weird hiking trips she took during her gap year, the motorcycle trip through Afghanistan that her and an ex boyfriend took together, and a variety of other drug hazed tales of exotic lands. Linda and me also found ourselves reminiscing about a more carefree time of our relationships. Those nights always brought a spark of excitement into our routine lives.
But every drunken night had a topic of discussion that made my eyes roll back in my head.
Every time that Elizabeth came over she wanted to talk about the ‘Murder House’. Elizabeth was in love with the name, she was in love with the idea of being surrounded by ghosts of murderers and victims. She was in love with talking about it. I hated that part of the night.
Back then I didn’t believe in ghosts. I just presumed that anything she said about floors creaking when she was home alone or the lights in the kitchen mysteriously turning on in the middle of the night was a flight of her eccentric imagination. I thought she was making stuff up.
Yet Elizabeth’s rants about hearing voices crying through the halls and sensing the energy of the family that was chopped apart by a crazy man with an axe in 1984 were simply sour punctuation on a dwindling night. As soon as she would start talking about spirits Linda and me would yawn and start talking about breakfast.
As unhinged as her rants would get, Elizabeth was very self-aware. She was just fascinated by the whole ghostly aura of her home. Once she would catch herself ranting she would stop, remind us to keep an eye out on the house, and bid us a good night.
I never really paid attention to her rants, I just took Elizabeth’s obsession as a personality quirk that I could handle in weekly bursts. I never considered there might actually be something up with the house.
But one horrible moment changed that.
It was a dark school night. Linda and me had gone overboard with bedtime stories and ended up reading our kids seven chapters of Harry Potter. We were doing voices, milking dramatic pauses, really driving the story home, but we got so into producing our little parental audiobook that we didn’t notice our children had already passed out two chapters ago.
Linda fell asleep quickly that night. I wanted to get some rest too, even attempted counting sheep, but there was something scratching at the back of my chest. It took me a while to admit it to myself, but eventually I accepted that my constant bumming of cigarettes from Elizabeth had developed a nicotine habit in my lungs.
I went outside for a cigarette.
The street lamps were long dark, only silhouettes of suburbia and the night sky remained. From the dim light of my porch I blew puffs of guilty smoke into the abyss and enjoyed the stillness of the night.
A creaking groan cut through that stillness.
A sound of strained wood, a wholly inhuman product, but as the noise crawled into the night I could hear a soft voice beneath it.
“I’m sorry, I don’t want to do this…” Elizabeth whispered out of the dark, “The house, the murder house, it’s making me do this…”
Another wooden strain, but this one was answered by a burst of light. Every window in the house lit up, bringing forth a haggard looking Elizabeth. She was standing at the edge of her front lawn wearing an oversized t-shirt and basketball shorts, her shaking hands pressed behind her back.
“I’m sorry Greg, it’s the murder house, the murder house is making me do this.” Her teeth were chattering. She was barefoot and terrified.
I opened my mouth to say something but my voice got caught in the back of my throat. The light coming from the house took on a fiery quality and burst out into the night with blinding force.
“I’m sorry. The murder house is doing this.” She said, taking a handgun out of the back of her shorts. The nuzzle shook, for a second she aimed the weapon in my direction but then, as if fighting a force inside of her, she pulled the gun back. She placed it in her mouth.
There was another flash of light.
I didn’t tell anyone exactly what happened that night. Elizabeth shooting herself on the front lawn was enough of a shock to begin with. The other details made me doubt my sanity enough to keep them to myself.
Linda had some background in mental health from a couple of certification courses she took back in university. To deal with the trauma of losing her friend to what she thought was suicide, my wife took on a part-time placement in a crisis hotline. I dealt with the shock of Elizabeth’s passing in a less productive fashion. I started smoking.
Every night, after the lights of the neighborhood would die down, I would stand outside and smoke with my eyes focused on that cursed house.
At first I didn’t notice anything, it was as if whatever I saw the night of Elizabeth’s death was a shock induced terror dream, but as the nights went on and my focus on the dark building sharpened I could see inklings of the supernatural.
The faintest of lights would burn in the rooms if you would stare out into the night for long enough. Suggestions of barely visible silhouettes could be seen moving around behind the pulled curtains. The visions were one thing, but what truly terrified me, what made me purchase a baseball bat for our porch, were the sounds. Every couple of nights, if the air was still and I listened closely enough I could hear it.
A faint echo of a gunshot would cut through the calm night. Sometimes among the quiet ripples of sounds there were also whispered screams and the crackling of wood being split, but it was the echo gunshot that truly gripped my mind. I recognized the sound far too well.
For a couple of weeks I considered suggesting a move to Linda, or at least telling her about the details Elizabeth’s death, but as the weeks of observing the house turned into months I gave up on the idea.
The house across the street made me uncomfortable, there was definitely something wrong with it, but it seemed to keep its terror to itself. Instead of throwing away the investment we had made I simply consigned myself to keeping an eye on the house with a baseball bat and a cigarette. As long as my family would stay away from the house our mortgage and lives would presumably be safe.
For years I watched the house and nothing changed.
Then, one day, we got a knock on the door.
“Hello!” a friendly face with a backpack stood on my porch, “Me and my boyfriend are backpacking throughout the country and we were wondering whether we could camp out in your back yard. Promise we won’t leave a mess!”
A memory of Elizabeth telling us about how she traveled the country with a tent and some friends roared to life with the intensity of a portable pressure cooker. I was about to say yes and honor the memory of our dead neighbor, but then I saw the backpacker’s “boyfriend”.
“Is that… your boyfriend?” I asked. Linda peeked her head out of the door, saw the man limping down the street and shot me a concerned look.
The guy looked to be a hundred. A stringy mess of white hair covered a roughly shaven face that looked back at us with tired dark eyes. Even though it was jacket weather outside, the man stood on the street shirtless, revealing the strange tribal tattoos on his saggy skin.
“That’s him!” the backpacker said as we looked at the jagged skeleton man. “He might look old but he’s very full of life.”
“What’s the wood for?” Linda asked.
Behind him, the old man was dragging a pile of sloppily chopped wood on a sled.
“Oh that’s just some driftwood we carry around. My boyfriend is a shaman, sometimes he forces spirits out of places,” she said. “But don’t worry, we aren’t going to be making any fires on your front lawn, we’re just looking for a place to set up our tent for the night,” she quickly added with a nervous chuckle.
“Definitely not.” Linda said in a tone that could sharpen steel.
“Yeah,” I added.
The backpacker shrugged good-heartedly. “Ah well, do you guys know if any of the other neighbors would be willing to let us camp out?”
I knew of one neighbor who would have definitely let them set up a tent if she wasn’t dead.
“No. Goodbye.” Linda slammed the door. The years since Elizabeth’s passing had turned her bitter. Watching the shaman drag his sled of wood over to our neighbors made me think about how sometimes we get bitter for a reason. The guy looked like something out of a dungeon. We were way too old to be letting hundred-year-old hippies sleep on our front lawn.
The thoughts of those protruding ribs, those weird tattoos and empty eyes, they made the craving for nicotine announce itself with more force than usual that night. I was out on the porch smoking one cigarette after another, trying to get that strange face out of my mind. That’s when I heard him.
Out from the darkness came a groan. A human groan.
I tried to convince myself I was just hearing a particularly loud neighbor going through a medical emergency but another strained groan made the fact that there was someone across the street undeniable.
A match flared out of the darkness. The old man’s face glowed into existence. Even from the distance of my porch I could see his mad expression. He groaned again, and threw the match to the ground. A bright flash erupted. Elizabeth’s front lawn lit up with a bonfire. The shaman’s wood burnt bright.
I balanced the cigarette between my lips, one hand was trying to unlock my phone and the other was gripping the baseball bat. The man groaned again, louder, but this time the groan dragged, dipped and turned into a note. The shaman started throat singing and dancing in the light of the fire.
It wasn’t until his decrepit body started bouncing around with energy that I noticed that he was stark naked. For a moment I considered how cruel of a mistress gravity is, then I considered dialing the police, but before I could make my way to the phone app something else grabbed my attention. All the lights in Elizabeth’s house were on, a crowd of silhouettes stood behind the curtains.
The old man kept on dancing around the fire. With each moment his steps grew more frantic, with every bounce of his withered body his song grew louder. But soon it was drowned out.
The sound of groaning wood, the screams, the gunshots that I have heard so many nights before, they were back. But they were no longer memories of noise floating on the night wind, no, the sounds were deafening enough to overpower the shaman’s singing.
Yet he persevered. The throaty tone which the old man was producing kept on growing louder regardless of the resistance that it was getting, his eyes bulged with effort but the timber of his song remained calculated. His body started to match the motion of the flames, as they grasped at oxygen the man threw himself from side to side, crashing down into the lawn only to bounce back up for another jump.
I watched with fascination, trying to remind myself that I should call the police on the nude arsonist in my dead neighbor’s front yard, but then my attention was grappled away once more. The silhouettes behind the curtains, they started to bob their heads. The figures were starting to dance along with the shaman. As they danced the sharp sounds of gunshots and suffering eased until there were none at all. The old man’s song took control of the night.
The door of the murder house burst open and a procession of shadows made their way out towards the fire. Even as they danced closer to the light no discernable features presented themselves, the figures were simply dark outlines of human bodies. They surrounded the fire and danced along with the shaman, but they didn’t dance for long. After making a couple of rounds around the bonfire, they started to jump into the flames.
Each of the shadow folk’s arrival into the fire was followed by a burst of light and a high-pitched yelp that would punctuate the shaman’s throat song. They all jumped in one by one without hesitation, almost as if they had spent all of eternity waiting to set themselves on fire. Yet the final shadow hesitated. The silhouette on the other side of the road faced my direction. She waved.
I let go of the baseball bat and waved back.
When her figure hit the fire the neighborhood was enveloped in another powerful burst of light and the shaman’s shriek reached a pitch that dragged into the night like a stopping freight train. As the screech reached its final breath the nude shaman laid down by the fire, let out a tired groan and promptly fell into snore filled sleep.
I put away my phone. This man was not dangerous. I wasn’t going to call the cops. My moral decision to leave the shaman to his mysterious ways made my stomach warm for a little while, but my neighbors were considerably less accepting of nude eccentrics than I was. A police station worth of cruisers arrived, yelled at the old naked man, tazered him and chucked him off to the station.
The man was probably being charged for a series of crimes, but as I stood there in the cool fall wind, looking at the silhouettes of identical homes, I couldn’t help but wonder whether he didn’t do something good. The house across the street seemed to be at peace. It never glowed again.
A couple months later my son decided to hide my pack of cigarettes because they’re apparently bad for my health and he doesn’t want me to die. He hid them inside of his toy box, so they weren’t too hard to find, but I played along for a couple of weeks. I let him keep my pack of smokes next to his race cars as long as he didn’t mind me bumming one by the time his bed-time story was finished. It’s not like I smoked heavily – just a single cigarette to occupy me while I looked out at Elizabeth’s house.
After the insane man’s bonfire the ‘Murder House’ had just become a regular two-story on a block of two-stories. Even though the shaman’s life was probably filled with court cases and chaos, the result of his work was utter tranquility.
I started rationing the cigarettes when I got down to my last ten. Once I got to my last five, I made my smoking a bi-monthly activity. There’s a pack with a single cigarette left in my son’s toy box and I’m pretty sure it’ll stay there until I start getting worried about him smoking it. My lungs no longer make demands and the house across the street doesn’t require my attention anymore.
I just hope that whatever the shaman did is a permanent solution to the problem of the ‘Murder House’. I also hope that wherever Elizabeth is, she’s happy and surrounded by people who like having four in the morning eccentric conversations about spirits.
submitted by MikeJesus to libraryofshadows [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 15:06 KickinnBackk Nude moms flashing

Tallia jerked awake to the crash of thunder and the flash of lightning. She sat up with haste as the sound of thunder echoed throughout the bedroom like an infinite drum beat. Her heart raced from the sudden waking jolt, and cold sweat poured down her brow and cheeks. Storms had always made her a tad edgy. Although she loved the smell of the rain and the sound of soft rolling thunder, the louder crashes always got to her, be she asleep or awake.
Tallia sat for a long moment until her heart stopped racing and she caught her breath. Once her heart slowed down a bit, she let out a heavy sigh then turned to sit on the edge of the bed. She leaned into her eyes and rubbed them gently to unblur her vision from the night's sleep. She got up and crossed the room to the window as her bare skin barked at her for allowing it to endure the sudden brisk chill it was receiving from the cold sweat. She ignored her body's cry of discomfort as she threw open the curtains.
The dark clouds of the storm hid any sunlight there might be from view, making it hard to determine the time. Even though the treetops did that without the aid of the clouds, they didn't hinder all the light like the clouds do, especially storm clouds, and Tallia could easily tell the time of day. Today just wasn't one of those days.
"Ugggh, my head."
The masculine voice came from behind Tallia. She quickly turned to see an elfen man slowly sit up in the bed, holding both sides of his head with his hands. He shook his head back and forth in an attempt to clear out the pain.
"What the hell happened last night," he asked as he turned to sit on the edge of the bed, his hands now covering his eyes as he rubbed at them.
Tallia recognized the man as Naziah, the son of the barkeep. The first thing she noticed about him was that he still had his clothes on, which meant they didn't have sex. Thankfully. But then why was she nude? She always slept in the nude, but with a man in the bed? He's right, what the hell did happen last night?
Realizing she was nude, Tallia quickly ripped one of the curtains down and wrapped it around herself before he could see her. She held it in place with her left hand then took a seat in a chair near the window.
"Your guess is as good as mine," Tallia finally answered as the remaining curtain and metal curtain rod fell to the floor with a loud bang. Both Tallia and Naziah cringed at the sound for a few moments, but neither said anything about it.
Naziah stood up and stretched, arching his back further than Tallia ever thought imaginable. She was as flexible and nimble as any elf, so it's not that she couldn't do it. She just never had a reason to, at least not anymore. Sometimes she missed her rogue days.
"What I'd really like to know," Tallia began, letting the reminiscent thoughts leave her mind, "is how did we get back to my..." Tallia looked around and realized this wasn't in fact her bedroom. "Wait....where are we?"
Naziah groaned as he came back to a vertical posture once more. "We're in my room."
"How'd we get here?"
"I have no clue," he shrugged.
Tallia's mind raced for a few moments as she thought of nearly every possible way imaginable that they could've gotten here, but she drew a complete blank. She shook her head vigorously, her long, crimson-red hair swaying back and forth. "Uggggh, can I at least get dressed!"
"Nothing's stopping you," Naziah said matter-of-factly.
Tallia growled, and with only her eyes she motioned toward the door then back to Naziah.
"Oh...right...um, yeah," Naziah said as he moved across the floor swiftly and opened the door. "Do you..."
Tallia growled again, only louder.
"Yep, okay," Naziah said closing the door as he left.
Naziah walked down the short corridor to the stairs, as he and his mother lived in one of few treehouses in Zyndesh with two stories. He walked downstairs to find his mother up and about cooking and cleaning, as is her normal daily morning ritual.
"Good morning, Mother," Naziah said entering the room.
"About time you got up. Drink a bit too much last night did you?"
"So it would seem," Naziah replied, taking a seat on the loveseat.
"Did Tallia already leave?"
Naziah hesitated to answer. He wasn't sure how. He'd never had a girl over before, let alone in his room. Mother's rule of course, and he abided by it. He felt his throat tighten as he looked for the words, but his mother interrupted his thoughts.
"Yeah, I know," she snickered. "It's fine. She stumbled in with you on her shoulder. Both of you were drunker than a dwarf. I helped the two of you up to your room. After we got you into bed, she dropped into bed beside you and that was that. How you two managed to climb up the rope ladders is beyond me, but here you are." She shrugged as she went to check on the food.
Naziah sighed as he surely thought he was in trouble. Though he was 315 years old, he was still young in elven years, and his mother reminded him every day. It was at that moment Tallia appeared at the top of the stairs looking concerned, as if she was trying to figure out how to get out without Naziah's mom seeing her.
submitted by KickinnBackk to OurWorldOurStory [link] [comments]