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2020.10.06 22:00 Arnold4Alabama Cheap sex cameras

Note: graphic rape scenes included along with piss scenes (sorry if that's not your thing).
I was a broke, recently graduated college student working a pathetic, low paying, 9-5 job at a sketchy office firm as an assistant. I had let myself go over the years. I was barely under the weight standard of what would be considered obese and I wasn't about to let my confidence drift further down the drain. Against my better judgement, I pulled a loan from an extremely suspicious loan shark and began working on my body from taking quality muscle enhancement drugs to purchasing extensive workout equipment. In only 2 years, I had a 6 pack, toned muscles and my cheek and jawline was well-defined with all the fat burned away. My 6'1" height and round booty figure coupled with my blessed Korean looks had given me the edge I needed to attract guys and girls alike. Things were looking great for me but they weren't meant to last. I was walking home late one night after drinking at a the local tavern with some friends. My apartment wasn't too far but I was staggering. Before my face could recognize any faces, two men walked up to me and slammed me with a bat knocking me unconscious.
I was placed on a musty old mattress in what looked like a basement except it was cold and humid and smelled like dust. There wasn't much else in the room except for a hose, bottles of lube, and ton of weird substances that looked like an assortment of drugs. My observations for the room were interrupted by the realization that I was 100% naked with nothing on me except for a black leather harness that was locked to my chest (literally). I panicked realizing who, what, and why I was in this room and tried to budge open the door. Of course it was locked. I started begging, "Please, please give me just one more month and I'll pay double the interest rate! D-don't do this to me!"
No one spoke, instead, a letter was slipped under the door. All the color faded from my face and the room felt even colder. They had no intention of letting me pay them back to begin with. They saw me change and they loved how I started to become the best looking fuck toy. Of course, they could've continued to scam me and then lock me up in this room to be their play thing but their boss got impatient. I guess, this meant I know longer had to pay them back the money but this was the only silver lining.
The Wolf I heard the door unlocking and stepped back, thinking I could make a bolt for the exit. I was dead wrong. He was otherworldly tall and his mask added to this. His muscularly build literally blocked the exit and any hopes of escaping this room. Similar to me, he was also wearing a harness with spikes that looked like they were made out of real metal and his crotch was covered by a black jockstrap that screamed untamed power. After taking a good look at everything else, I finally went back to his mask. It was a wolf's head with fur sleeves and pockets covering portions of his face. The eyes on the wolf were gouged out leaving only his dark amber eyes to sparkle threw them. I don't think he shaved because I could see fluffy parts that looked more like human hairs than wolf hairs. He stepped inside and slammed the door shut as I took a gulp. I backed up further until I was next to the bed and against the cold concrete walls. He slowly made his way towards me. The fear that was bottled up in me was released and I screamed like a banshee. This only agitated him and made him angrier, so much that he began to growl. I started to doubt that he was human at all. He still kept the same pace but this time with anger all over him. I looked all over the room thinking of things to throw at him to try and stun and make him not fuck me. I threw the bottles of lube at him but he either smacked them away or caught them in one hand. Then I threw the table at him and it only stopped him for .00001 of a second. At this point, the room felt so small and I felt so small and insignificant against him. He was 3 feet away, then 2 feet, then 1 foot, until his hairy chest was just 3 inches away from my face. He was looking down on me with an evil, lustful smile. I froze in place and let him use his large right hand to lift my chin up and force me to look him directly into his wolf-like gaze. He wouldn't let me look away from him. He only wanted me to look at him.
My last act of defiance was spitting at his face and it turned out to be my downfall. He slammed me against the wall and growled even louder. I screamed out loud and he flinched for a second giving me a chance to run past him. The wolf wasn't having any of it and he grabbed the back of my harness. His biceps had my neck in a choke hold and my vision began to blur. I almost passed out until I was once against shoved and thrown around like a sack of potatoes. He had me laying on the bed, his thick thighs restricting my own legs, his hands were like cuffs and they squeezed the blood flowing into my fingers. I felt the wolf's crotch grinding against my own. It felt like titanium and could do nothing but watch as my foreskin was forcibly dragged along his jockstrap. I cried some more begging him to stop and exposing my mouth wide open. The wolf began to drool directly into my face, some of his saliva landed in my mouth. It tasted like cheap vodka with a hint of cigarettes and mint mixed in. I tried to spit out his saliva but then he shoved his tongue down my mouth and started tasting me all over. Tears were streaming down my face as I laid their helpless and breathless.
That was his only act of kindness. The wolf bent my body like putty and had my legs spread out into a 180 degree angle on the bed. I screamed like I had never screamed before as my legs were not used to being this stretched out. I felt the pressure on my arms go away but this was temporary. The wolf's thighs held my arms down and threatened to choke me as they squeezed down on my neck. I felt a wet, slimy sensation in my hold as I realized the wolf was dining on my ass cheeks. He was lubing me up with his spit instead of the complimentary lube set on the table. It felt like hours but in actuality, he was just getting started. The wolf let out an almost inhuman howl as I felt his thighs leave my arms and his face leave my ass. This was my chance to try and get away but it was no use. The wolf had released his jock strap and revealed the worst case scenario for my hole: a 10.5 inch cock with sizable girth and enough bush to realize that this whole wolf motif this man had going was fitting. His arms were on the sides of my ribs and he held me in place as his cock taunted my face cheeks with the head. I was not gonna suck him off, not that monster but it looked like he had no intention of forcing me to suck him. Instead, the wolf backhand slapped me so hard I fell right back on the bed, dazed and confused at the strength of the slap.
I felt an immediate stinging sensation in my small hole. I was gay and hooking up before but I always hooked up with guys with modest cocks. Five inches were fun, six and seven inches were exciting, and the occasional eight and nine inches were tough but manageable. This monster of cock was on a new level and I screamed until it felt like I would lose my vocals. I cried and begged him to stop and take it out but he smiled and spoke actual words for the first time.
"But it's only the first two inches," he replied as I denial filled my brain. He kept going in as fast as he could. It was like he was trying to get the whole thing inside me on record time. The only factor slowing him down was a biological. My ass had never been trained before to take this much cock and he knew it too. It was almost like trying to shoving an entire log down a skinny, one inch diameter hole. I felt his hands let go of my arms but I was too stunned to try and escape. He used his fingers to try and work my hold and I heard him grunt and moan as he got more and more inches inside me. I continued to scream as the tears began to blind any sign of the florescent light bulbs and concrete cinderblock walls.
At long last, he was inside me, the pain was excruciating, so much that my perception of reality was in limbo. I wasn't sure what was real and what was fake and I began to question every decision I made that led me to this moment. Only one thing was certain, the pain flowing through out my entire body. I barely noticed him sliding his cock out of my hole because no sooner than 1 second later, he slammed it right back into it and the cycle of pain started all over again. I was numb and out of it the entire time, any resistance and thoughts of escaping were non-existent now. I was a human play dough toy to him and he molded my arms, legs, shoulders, feet, and body how he see fit. His sadistic nature was almost like an artform to him.
I was laying on the floor, my body collapsed like a puppet whose strings were cut off. The wolf's legs were now parallel to mine and felt slam fuck me like this for a solid 10 minutes until he was tired of this position. He pushed me upright and now he was sitting and holding me like a used, blown up sex doll. My eyes were locked onto his but mine were lifeless and barely registered as human. This was my life now. I was this wolf's sex thing. My hole connected with his cock as I was sitting on his lap. I let myself go and let him hold me up right for him to continue fucking me. He eventually got tired of fucking me like this too and went back to fucking me on the bed. He had one of my legs bent an almost impossible angle as he started pumping deep inside me. The pain of my legs being overstretched was nothing compared to the pain of his cock inside my fragile anus. Eventually, I felt the pace pick up and before I could react, the wolf let out an ear splitting howl-like scream as I felt gushes of cum invading my anal cavity and then my larger intestines. He was done but he was still hard as ever, the difference being his cock was still pulsing with newfound relief. I had no strength to fight back and no strength to even pick myself up and try to get comfortable to recover.
The Pigs The wolf acknowledged this and simply dragged me around. I shut my eyes, thinking the worst was over and when I woke up, I was in a different room. This room was huger but also made of cheap, concrete cinderblocks and lit only by red strobe lights. I was attached to a swing-like contraption with wrists and ankles locked in place. I was wearing the harness still but this time a mask was attached to my face. It had a long tube stretched out to the top of this room. I barely caught a glimpse of natural outdoor light and I thought this was my only chance to try and scream to the outside world for help. the mask attachment did nothing but hinder anything remotely like a scream. I heard a door open and watched as countless guys walked in with almost nude and with hard cocks. They were all different sizes, ages, races, heights, with varying cock lengths and girths but what they all had in common were the masks they wore. All of their masks were identical, they were pigs that looked like they came from the Saw movie franchise and I was frightened as they began to laugh and snort like pigs. My mind cleared up and I realized what the tubes and swing were for. I struggled some more but my encounter with the wolf has my stamina running on nearly empty. My ass was position in such a way that not only could I not turn it over, but it provided the optimal angle for which any of the pigs could enter comfortably into my still stretched hole. The long tube connected to my face was some kind of device that could drain liquids nearly into my nose and mouth but not suffocate me. There were large enough openings on the sides of my masks to help drain these liquids. This was the ultimate set up for bukkake and bareback sex and I was horrified at the thought of STDs and STIs spreading all over me but I had not choice in the matter. My suffering was as inevitable as the pleasure the wolf and these pigs would force themselves to get out of me. In a sick turn of events, an intercom with a robotic voice announced the start of the 23rd annual cumdump site. The pigs spared no second walking up to me to feel me all over and finger my really loose hole. I lost track of the number of times guys would likely kick my balls and cock or sucked them to sooth them. I lost track of the number of times entering in and out of my hole with either their mouths or their cocks. Quite frankly, their cocks were a far cry to what the wolf's cock felt like and thus, I was relegated to being the perfect cum dump. Some weren't even trying to shoot their load inside me, aiming it on my ass just to keep it moist was enough for them. some made and effort to cum on other parts of my body like my face but for the most part, all of the loads went right into my hole. The circulation of guys walking in and out of the room was enough to dull out the pain.
Meanwhile, a television screen in front of me appeared revealing the purpose of the upstairs room, what I thought was the outdoors. For guys less inclined to take risks, they had nothing but live footage of the pigs fucking and cumming all over me as they jerked off and came into a customized urinal with the tube attached to my mask. The line stretched outside of the room and seemed to go on forever but once again, these men were all wearing the same pig masks. Some came quickly while others stayed to continue to enjoy watching the show. There was an unspoken rule that once you came you were to head to the end of the line or watch elsewhere. Other filthy bastards took the time to piss into the urinal afterwards and watch as it start to flow down the tube. The way the tube was angled to my mask was at an almost 60 degree angle. It was not enough for the piss and cum to just fall on my head and slide down the sides but was high enough to the point where it would drain slowly but surely splash into my face. The pigs enjoyed every second of it, they enjoyed every drop landing on my nose. When I accidentally swallowed a drop they would all cheer out loud and furiously jerk off or piss some more hoping to get more down my throat. Eventually the smell of piss and cum mixed together dulled out my nose and I no longer had any notion of throwing up (for fear of consuming more cum and piss). My stomach felt bloated, as if I had over douched prior but this was just the consistency of the cum melting together to make an almost liquid concoction that could permeate my intestines. I watched on camera as my once, slightly tanned ass was now the very definition of a cream filled donut with white icing on top. As impressive as this was, it compared nothing to the amount of cum that was evident on the once clean and pristine concrete floors. Cum and piss were splattered below my mask and the cum below my asshole was now drying and thickening too. It spoke to miles about the terrible aiming of these pigs in general.
These pigs were surprisingly generous (or remorseless depending on how you look at it) and installed a clock for me to try and account for the amount of time that had passed by. There were still groups of guys lining up at the urinal and the number of guys taking turns on my barely noticeable ass cheeks were still about the same. This went on for hours and I could do nothing but watch and observe the variety of techniques.
Hour One: The pigs fucking my ass attempted to double penetrate me but only gave up when the cum started to make them lose their own footing. The ones at the top floor grew impatient and soon, three pigs at a time were crowding at the urinal to release their loads and piss.
Hour Two: Maintenance finally came in and funnily enough, they were wearing pig masks but unlike everyone else, they wore custodian clothing. They could hardly be called custodians seeing as that would imply cleaning up messes. Instead, they took out cat scoopers and began to shovel whatever wet cum on the floor was left. They then spread the mixture onto all parts of my body. The tube began to clog. To remedy this, the custodian pigs took and hose and began to spray down the tube with water. It was a welcoming sensation since this would have been the first time I had been cleaned since being kidnapped here. As disgusted as I was, I could not help but be impressed with how quickly they did all of this. They only spent 10 minutes in total.
Hour Three: The barrage of loads in my hole and down the tubes were a biological rainstorm to me. I started regaining more feeling in my asshole allowing me to push out some of the cum. This was quickly replaced with more guys refilling it. There were noticeably less pigs than before.
Hour Four: A few stragglers came in and filled me up but now I was able to listen to the sickeningly terrible porno music they were apparently playing all day. Just as I was about to give up all hope of this ending, the robotic voice intercom appeared thanking all pigs for entering this years dump. I should be thrilled it's all over but I felt nothing. I now had the weight (literally and mentally) of all those guys who had used me for their own pleasure along with any health side effects they may pose. The door opened once more and I anticipated yet another pig but instead came face to face with the wolf again. The wolf untied me and unlocked the mask connecting to my face. He then took his own mask off revealing his distinct facial features and steely-eyed complexion. A small, hidden pool of piss and cum mixture came and splashed part of his manly face but it did not faze him in the slightest. He was too busy staring into my lifeless eyes and unharmed lips. He kissed me with them, the faint taste of cum in his tongue before forcibly shoving my face back down. The wolf wrapped a towel around me and carried me like the garbage I am. I slowly began to black out again, this time oddly more peacefully than before. I heard the door open one last time before knocking out entirely. My last thoughts were this:
"Am I free now? Am I going to die? Is this wolf going to devour me now? I don't care anymore. I have served my purpose and this wolf, those pigs, they own me now and I am now their meat,"
submitted by Arnold4Alabama to u/Arnold4Alabama [link] [comments]


2020.10.01 17:49 Lynestri Cameras sex cheap

Hey all y'all, just looking for one partner for now. Hopefully long term, third person preferred. Prompt below (it was just made so sorry if it seems confusing)
I'm pretty sure everyone nowadays has heard of the tail of Somara or Samara or whoever the hell that TV woman is from the ring, and plenty of people have tried various methods to find this "accursed" tape. Many say it doesn't exist and to be honest it's slim as hell people'll.find that one tape with her in it
But surprisingly you/your oc knows the local creepshop that just got a DVD locked in a box in the bottom of a well. Selling it for cheap too, so maybe one day you boot up your old dvd player and set the tape inside mindlessly watching it seeing as everyone saw the ring and saw the tape. Before ya know it the seven days are up, and you happen to have a video of more risque or lewd content
Before you know it your TV cuts to static and your lights dim, the girl.emeges from your TV. Shaped by what you or your friends were watching
It can go a variety of ways from here, she can plop out in whatever form you'd like. Being weakened due to modern technology leaves Sadako far weaken than the early 2000's
She could have the body and attitude of your favorite blond haired bimbo
She could have the body of a chubby asian who seems shy to the camera
Or she could be whatever you'd desire, it can go from romance to sex slavery to just your personal little slut
Prompt based on this image
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2020.10.01 13:43 welcometosouthapp Cheap sex cameras

Welcome to South App #7:

Monday, September 7th, 2020
“Gigi, come quick! Winston’s bleeding!”
Sarah hung up the phone. Gigi sprinted down four flights of stairs in a 500-dollar fleece bathrobe. (“Hooray, fake ID money!”) In front of Winston’s room stood Sarah - the color drained from her normally golden skin. Drops of blood trailed from Winston’s room to the men’s bathroom down the hall.
“His fucking crown fell out!” Sarah blurted out.
That morning, Gigi had put her dental knowledge to the test. Ah, the Guitar Guys broke Winston’s lateral incisor! She had sneaked Winston into the campus dental lab to fit him with a temporary crown. “Don’t bite down on it or eat anything too messy!” she had warned him. No chance. It was wing night at the Chubby Beaver Cafe.
The girls followed the blood to the bathroom door.
“I’m not going in there!” Gigi confidently declared.
“Oh, what was I thinking? Let me just magically fix his tooth with my 19 fucking years of dental experience!”
“But, but, but...that’s a male lavatory! And as his fraternal sibling, I surmise that you have unintentionally borne witness to his nether-regions...in the least intimate of circumstances, of course!”
“Stop bickerin’ and help me out, will ya?” came Winston’s muffled yell from the bathroom. “Fuck, this pain! Mama, make it stop!”
Gigi burst through the bathroom, where Winston and Tai wielded huge toy rifles. Sarah locked Gigi’s arms behind her head in a full nelson choke.
“What?! You’re okay?”
“First rule of paintball: never trust anybody,” Winston sneered.
Paintball was certainly on the menu on this first day of Fall Break. That night, Mama Beavers’ residence would be hosting the annual paintball tournament. And this morning, Winston, Tai, and Sarah were to give Gigi a proper introduction to the sport. With Super Soakers.
“Whatcha think, Winston?” Tai chuckled. “Shall we light her up?”
“I reckon we shall, roomie.”
Whipped cream spurted out of the Super Soakers, gagging Gigi’s mouth; tangling her jet-black hair; staining her luxurious robe.
“Whaaa! W-w-w-what the fuck, guys?” howled the Gigi sundae. “I just took an hour-long shower for nothing!”
“Hey, Winston, I have an idea,” Tai suggested, strolling over to the window.
“Oh, whatever may that be, Tai?” Winston played along.
Tai flung the window open, staring down the tunnel of a huge inflatable Slip-N-Slide. Only this slide was lubed up with light beer - not water.
“Time for your second bath, Gigi!” Sarah teased, tightening her grip and dragging Gigi to the window.
“You...do…not have permission to touch my body!” Gigi screamed. “This is sexual assault under North Carolina General Statute section 14-27.21, as signed into law by Bill-!”
The three freshmen heaved Gigi onto the beer slide. She continued rattling off state penal codes three stories down.
“Got ’em!” Winston cheered, celebrating with crisp high-fives. “Sheesh, is Gigi a lawyer now? What was that ramblin’ all about?”
“Beats me,” Tai mumbled. “I assumed Gigi knew everything but social skills.”
“Nah, Winston has a point,” Sarah agreed. “That legal mumbo jumbo is beyond the pale even for her. She and I will have to have a little chit-chat. Anywho...Winston, why don’t you go down there and check on her?”
“Fuck it, why not? I reckon I’ll enjoy a booze bath.”
Winston dived head-first onto the beer slide, careening against the sides. He consumed a pitcher’s worth of cheap beer before splashing three stories down into the Boozewalk: an inflatable moonwalk full of beer, enclosed by huge inflatable walls on all sides.
“Wait, what the hell?” Winston gasped, as a bathrobe floated in the booze bath. “G-Gigi? Is that you?”
The petite form of a woman rose to the surface, baring her pale face and smooth shoulders.
“Heeey, Winston,” slurred a seductive Gigi. “Looks like we’re finally alone in the dark. So...do you like me, Winston?”
“W-what? I...I think you should put your bathrobe back on, buddy.”
But Gigi did no such thing, likely naked below the frothy surface. Instead, she swam toward Winston as he backed up to the inflatable wall.
“What if I, like, totally sounded like Claire?” Gigi cooed, mimicking the southern girl. “Wouldn’t you, like, totally wanna get in my pants?”
“First of all, you’re not wearing pants. Second of all, you’re my best buddy. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
“As you wish...I shall force myself on you instead!” Gigi shot to her feet, dressed in a pink South App tube top and black shorts. She pressed the muzzle of a paintball gun to Winston’s forehead. “Guys, now!”
Tai and Sarah burst through the mesh entrance. Paintball guns in hand, they splashed through the Boozewalk like the goddamn invasion of Normandy. “Freeze, mothafucka!” Tai screamed in a rare gangsta voice. As three armed assailants surrounded him, Winston raised his shaking hands.
“First rule of paintball,” Winston reminded himself, exasperated. “Never trust anybody.”
“Now where, oh where have I heard that before?” Sarah asked, throwing an arm around her brother’s shoulders. “Come on, it’s wing night!”
“Go without me and I’ll meet you at the truck!” Gigi said thoughtfully. “I’ve never tried beer, but I bet I can catch a buzz if I just float around in here!”
“Suit yourself,” Winston sighed, stepping out of the Boozewalk onto the grass. “It’s a damn shame my best buddy ain’t gonna be there to wipe the buffalo sauce off my face.”
They left Gigi alone in that dark, five-percent ABV bath. A sensory-deprivation chamber of sorts. She floated on her back, eyes closed and mind racing.
He turned down my romantic advances. Then again, he called me his best buddy! Now...I don’t know much about southerners, but methinks that’s a start.
Sarah stuck her head through the mesh entrance. “Heeey...so only lawyers and criminals know state penal codes. And, well, you’re not exactly either of those. Ya dig? So, I’m going to come straight out and ask: did someone sexually assault you?”
Gigi blinked. She slowly lowered herself into the beer bath as her fling with Twinston flooded her mind. Deeply kissing a man...that she thought was somebody else. Sliding off the boxer-briefs off a man...that she thought was somebody else. And telling that same man that she loved him.
Bubbles rose to the surface. Sarah grabbed Gigi’s shoulders and hoisted her to her feet. Her South Korean roommate was laughing her ass off, one eye twitching.
“Nope!” Gigi lied, shivering. “I willingly gave up my V-Card in a steamy one-night stand!”
***
Ryan blasted a .30-06 round from his Remington 783 bolt-action rifle. The bullet pierced the paper target 100 meters downrange. Heart shot.
Twinston walked into Dam Good Shot Gun Range. He and Ryan had the whole place to themselves on the Monday afternoon of Fall Break.
“Survey says it’s pure!” Twinston declared, slapping ABK’s bag of blue-and-white cocaine on the counter. Teja, their Indian brother, had tested the coke in the science lab that morning. (Meanwhile, Gigi had been sedating Winston in a dental chair a few floors up). The results: the only difference in BDE’s and ABK’s cocaine was the color of Walmart-brand glitter. ABK wasn’t just trying to compete with BDE. They were trying to run them off the fucking block.
“Well, you know what to do,” Ryan said matter-of-factly, racking the slide. “Confront Clyde about this shit head-on.”
“Hell yeah, I gotcha. Uh...should I get Winston to tag along? I reckon we’ll be more intimidatin’ with us both there. We’re the fuckin’ Wonder Twins when it comes to gettin’ shit done.”
Ryan blasted another round and missed his target. “Twinston, do you wanna borrow some mouthwash?”
“Huh?”
“I figure you’ll be needing it to wash the taste of Winston’s dick out of your mouth.”
Ryan racked the slide while Twinston dropped his jaw. But in light of the insult, he closed his mouth. Ryan’s fired again. Headshot.
“You’re BDE’s second-in-command,” Ryan reminded Twinston, holding down a button as the target returned to him. “And I need you to act like it. Deal with Clyde solo.”
The target came into full view. It was a security camera photo of Gigi in her baby-blue evening gown from the Masquerade.
What in the actual fuck? Twinston thought. It finally dawned on him that he had slept with a wanted woman that last weekend. Ryan’s wanted woman.
“Twinston, meet Ji-hye Moon, AKA Gigi. At first, I was pretty fucking pissed that you brought her to the house to fuck her. But after we got some footage, I was able to gather intel from students around campus. Not only is she friends with our very own Winston. But that filthy libtard hippie cunt, Sarah, is Winston’s fuckin’ sister! And not only did these bitches blow up my father’s ashes...they’re taking control of our entire fucking fake ID operation!”
Ryan paused. He unzipped his tote bag and withdrew an Uzi submachine gun with an extended suppressor. Twinston gulped as Ryan racked the slide and aimed at the photo at point-blank range.
“So, uh...what’s the plan?” Twinston stammered. “I mean, we ain’t got beef with Winston now, do we?”
“Word on Greek Row is that Winston and the girls are on the way to his Mama’s house as we speak. In my eyes, he’s harboring fugitives. That poor son of a bitch probably fears for their lives. Ha! Can’t I can’t say I blame him. I’ll be paying Cleft Falls a visit very, very soon.”
Ryan unloaded a 32-round clip into Gigi. 45-caliber rounds peppered the photo from head to toe. Finally, the barrel clicked, smoking and hissing. The photo was reduced to charred dust and ash on the floor.
Ryan fetched the cocaine, shoved his nose straight into the bag, and let out a carnal scream. Twinston slowly backed out of the gun range. He drove straight to the ABK house. But it wasn’t to confront Clyde about his cocaine empire. It was to warn him that Gigi’s life was now in danger. And given the history between Twinston and Gigi, Clyde would be a better man for the job.
***
The four freshmen were off to a late start to the siblings’ hometown of Trinity. Winston and Sarah were to blame. At the Chubby Beaver Cafe, they had challenged each other to a wing-eating contest (vegan wings for Sarah). Gigi had manned the ropes as Winston’s mouth-wiper; Tai as Sarah’s. Winston had won with flying colors. But Sarah hadn’t paid much mind, a lemon pepper smile beaming on her face. All she had cared about was being full.
Gigi and Tai exchanged puzzled looks in the back of Winston’s truck. “Hey!” she piped up. “Didn’t you wanna save room for your mom’s dinner?”
Sarah and Winston burst out laughing. Yes, their mother would be preparing a home-cooked meal from scratch. No, it would not be hamburgers and hot dogs.
“Oh, sweet summer children,” Sarah said condescendingly. She turned around in the passenger seat, her dreadlocks whipping Gigi in the face. “You have no clue, dude and dudette. See, we were born and raised under Mama Beavers. Do you know what that means? Why don’t you explain it to ’em, brother O’ mine?”
“With pleasure, sis! See, Mama Beavers is the most frugal woman on this side of the Mississippi. Prepare for a meal of epic backwoods proportions. Let’s see, Sarah. Do you reckon it’ll be fried gator skins or pickled chicken feet?”
“Oh! Don’t forget boiled okra soaked in fatback. Now that was quite a merry Christmas.”
Tai and Gigi contorted their faces in disgust. Their empty stomachs growled in protest. They hadn’t eaten anything all day.
“Hold tight,” Winston said, pulling up to the ABK frat house. He reached behind his seat and grabbed a wrapped present. A gift for Clyde. After Winston’s beating last week, the ABK president had turned in the Guitar Guys on aggravated assault charges. In return, Winston had torn down the Crenshaw Ave street sign, had fired a couple of pistol rounds into it, and had back-lit it with Christmas tree lights to create a custom neon sign. A rustic addition to Clyde’s man cave.
“Tai, will you go with Winston?” Sarah asked. “Gigi and I need a little girl time.”
Gigi’s antenna shot up. Winston and Tai got out of the car and headed up the driveway, intending to leave the present on their doorstep. Sarah whipped her head back, smacking Gigi with her dreadlocks again. Sarah rattled off questions like an auctioneer with Alzheimer's.
“So, how was it?
What positions did you try?
Were you drunk?
Was he drunk?
Did you use condoms?
How big?
Did it hurt?
Are you on the pill?
Do you need a pregnancy test?
Cut or uncut?”
Gigi flashed crazy eyes and forced a painful smile. She cackled psychotically. “Yes to all of the above!” A lie. “I...lost all control.” That was true.
Winston and Tai hopped back in the truck. “Welp, that’s that,” Winston declared, satisfied. “I think this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful-.”
“Gigi finally got laid!” Sarah blurted out.
***
6 PM: two hours until Ryan’s arrival
It was a painfully awkward car ride after Sarah announced that Gigi was no longer a card-carrying member of the Virginity Club. Gigi fought the urge to reach up front, pull Sarah’s dreads, and slap her to last week. But the passive Gigi merely sank into the hot leather seat while Tai and Sarah engaged in a heated debate about wearing leggings as pants.
“Um...I think you made the wrong turn?” Gigi broke her silence, tapping Winston on the shoulder.
“Nah,” he responded. Nonchalant. Robotic.
Winston pulled into Cleft Falls: a trailer park community in rural Trinity. A one-way bridge crossed the sewage runoff river. Dilapidated trailers were clustered on a small plot of land. Past that: a weed-infested open field as far as the eye could see. At the gated entrance, an old man with a shotgun snoozed in a rocking chair.
“Ay, Chuck!” Winston greeted, rolling his window down. “It’s been a while since-”
Chuck sprang up from his nap and fired birdshot into the air. Tai and Gigi screamed, hitting the floorboard. But Winston and Sarah laughed their asses off as the old man came to.
“Oh, my!” said the old man in a raspy voice. “Winston! Sarah! Hey, everybody, the Beavers are back!”
A flurry of broken screen doors sprang open like the intro to a Disney sing-along. Chuck raised the gate arm to let Winston through. Cautiously, Gigi and Tai sat back up in their seats.
Winston parked in front of the only double-wide trailer in the park. As soon as he stepped out of the truck, two little boys and a girl ran out of the trailer. “Winston’s back, Winston’s back!” they cheered, latching onto his knee and squeezing tightly.
“Oomph! Man, y’all are gettin’ big! Hey, easy now! Bahaha! Remember, hands off the beard!”
The kids wrestled Winston to the ground. Sarah leaned against the truck and crossed her arms with a sour face. Nobody ever paid the village liberal any mind...unless it concerned weed. Even the kids ignored Sarah to play with Gigi’s and Tai’s matching earrings.
“We picked these out together!” Gigi giggled. “Hey, wait! You can’t climb me like - whaaa!”
The three kids scaled Mt. Gigi with ease, reaching past her hair bow for that shiny silver earring. Gigi went tumbling down hard. Suddenly, the kids spotted something behind her, gasped, then sprinted away. A strong, calloused hand pulled Gigi to her feet.
Why...why do Winston’s rough hands turn me on so much?
But it wasn’t Winston. He was standing beside Sarah. The mysterious hand belonged to a short, plump lady in a denim pinafore dress and an ugly mustard flannel. A shaggy mullet that was the same shade as her childrens’ hair. Her rosy baby face formed a buck-toothed smile.
“Whale now!” cackled Velma Beavers. “I shoore hope y’alls hungry! There’s a’plenty chowda t’go ’round!”
7 PM: one hour until Ryan’s arrival
Gigi held her sour stomach on top of the trailer park’s huge dirt mound.
Dinner had been a stunning goat head and rich salmon carcass chowder. Winston and Sarah had defaulted to “We’ll pass, but our friends would love some!” Tai had snapped to the acting role of a lifetime. He’d gracefully dunked the ladle into the pot - only to spoon the chowder straight into the trash when Mama had turned away. Gigi was neither lucky nor skilled. So, she had sliced off a fatty portion of the goat’s cheek to garnish the thick, fishy brine. “It smells delicious!” she had lied, as the eye of the goat head mean-mugged her in that musty, cramped trailer.
Gigi vomited on the hill a third time, coating her tongue with hot stomach acid. There went yesterday’s breakfast. Now, she was starving.
“Ya know you’re sittin’ on a pile of dirt and manure...right?”
It was Winston. He walked up the mound and sat next to her. He scooted close, offering her a light beer and something wrapped in tinfoil. “Here, I whipped this up on Mama’s flat-top grill. It ain’t much, but-”
Gigi ripped open the Steak-Umm sandwich and shoved it into her mouth. She closed her eyes, letting the Grade-D meat, store-brand mayo, and Wonder Bread fill her empty stomach. Drunk food, you never let me down!
“Th-thank you!” Gigi yelped, hiccupping as she wolfed it down. She swiped the glass bottle of Bud Light Lime and took her first-ever sip of beer.
“It ain’t as sweet as that sugary cider,” Winston chuckled. “But we’re in a trailer park so that’s all we got. Now...while you eat, I wanted to have a word with ya.” Gigi nibbled her sandwich and sipped her beer, listening like a good student. “Shit, I feel like your dad,” Winston continued, scratching his head. “Giving you your first beer and...well, talking about...uh, sex. Look, I get it! I can’t be mad at ya for having your first experience and all. I just wanna make sure nobody hurts ya or takes advantage of you. So, I got a little gift for ya.”
“WHAT?!” Gigi choked, spitting out her beer. She looked down at the variety pack of condoms on her lap.
“Look, I know it’s weird,” Winston admitted to a beet-red Gigi. “I just...well, you never know when you’re gonna be in situations where you’ll need one and the guy ain’t got one.”
“Uh...Winston?” Flash floods from her night with Twinston.
“And who’s that type of guy, I reckon you’d ask? Well, I know him. He’s me.”
“Winston, stop.” She recalled when Twinston had pulled out a few seconds too late. After which, he’d fished out 50 bucks from his wallet for a Plan B...
“Okay, okay. One more thing. No means no, ain’t no matter if he’s more revved up than a Rausch engine at a tailgate, in the middle of the Indianapolis-”
Gigi stuffed her steak sandwich into Winston’s blabbering mouth. She gently placed the condoms on his lap while he fought a severe case of lockjaw. “I...I don’t use condoms?” she lied. “I’m on the pill. And I don’t have a boyfriend. It was...um, a one night stand!”
Winston spat out his food at Gigi’s shocking revelations. He cleared his throat, stood up, and chugged the rest of her beer. “I, uh,” Winston stuttered, catching a surprise light beer burp. “I’m gonna...get the guys ready for paintball.” He stumbled down the dirt mound, holding his head down in shame. Then, he straightened his shoulders, staring confidently at the sunset with his back turned.
“Sorry to be all overprotective and shit,” Winston muttered. “It’s just that...well, I’ve got a sister that I love. And I love you like a sister, too.”
Gigi’s heart pounded as Winston headed for the bonfire in the center of the trailer park. Gathered around was an army of rednecks in their 20’s and 30’s, suiting up in paintball gear. Suddenly, Gigi had fleeting psychotic thoughts of snatching a paintball gun and sticking the barrel into Winston’s gasping mouth. “You only love me like a sister?!
“Whale, whale, whale,” cackled Velma from the top of the dirt mound. “I reckon at least one of muh family’s fixin’ ta marry up in this wurrrld. Thasss right. I reckon yew will live in a better place than this. Ain’t dat bad though. Some call’a muh home a trailer park. I like tuh of it as a...modular mansion. Oh! Muh baby said yew fixed his’a broken toof! That was mighty neighborly of ya’s.”
“Oh! It...made me happy to see him smile properly again. Your son is the brother I never had!” With that sudden admission, she politely bowed and headed for the bonfire.
8 PM
The trailer park boys had taken their sweet time drinking light beer and dicking around for an hour. Even Sarah had joined the fray, passing out joints like Willy Wonka. Gigi and Tai were sitting quietly in their lawn chairs, people-watching. “Let’s count how many times they pee on a tree!” Tai had suggested. They had soon run out of fingers and toes and had promptly given up.
“All right, game time!” Winston announced, picking up his paintball gun and firing off a couple shots into the air. They had purposefully delayed the game so that A: it would be darker, and B: they would be buzzed.
“Yee-haw!” cried a Coca-Cola addict with twelve teeth. “I want the purdy Asian gurrrl on muh team.”
“She’s a’mine, asshole!” responded a guy with teeth in the single digits. “I wanna shoot shit wit Miss Jackie Chan.”
Gigi smiled at her admirers, wishing for nothing more than to pull their rotten teeth and replace them with new veneers. Such a skill was beyond her reach...now.
“Man, y’all stop that fuckin’ nonsense!” Winston commanded, firing paintballs at a nearby tree. They exploded into glow-in-the-dark neon splatters. Soon, this entire park would turn into a meth-fueled rave. “Y’all know the routine already. Everybody open your hopper and look at your match. If the match has been lit, then you are it.
Fear drove Gigi to open her hopper first. Pulling out a fresh match, she slumped into her lawn chair like a proud dad after a good yard-mowing. She panned across the bonfire to see similar reactions from Winston, Sarah, then the snaggle-toothed trailer park boys.
Tai slowly backed away from the bonfire.
“Oh, my duuude!” Sarah crooned. She fetched a joint and placed it between Tai’s quivering lips. “Better toke up while you can. Should help with the gnarly pain that you’re about to experience!”
“All righty, then,” Winston called out, swiveling around to his teammates. “Y’all know the drill. Tai gets a two-minute head start. Starting-” Winston swiped the pistol from Gigi’s purse and fired a real gunshot. “-now!”
Tai shrieked, then jetted off into the woods. Winston and the gang laughed their asses off while a furious Gigi balled her small fists. She swiped her .22 back and kicked Winston in the shin.
“Ow, okay! Damn, Gigi...my bad!”
“I won’t sit idly by and witness my fraternal sibling mold his advanced bipedal hominid behavior into that of an ancestral neanderthal!”
Blank stares from everyone. Drool dripped down the meth heads’ mouths.
“I mean...I love you like a brother too!” Gigi announced to the world.
Meanwhile, Tai weaved between trees. He heard the burst-fire of paintball guns as the meth heads riled themselves up. Then, he stumbled over a gnarled tree root, plowing into a man wearing all black.
“Yo, shitskin.”
Ryan Hughes smacked Tai in the head with his Uzi, knocking him out.
After the two-minute countdown, Winston and Gigi cut their headlamps on and approached the woods. Unlike previous years, Sarah dragged her feet behind her brother, staring at the ground.
“Come on, scout,” Winston said, turning around to her sister. It was tradition for her to rustle bushes, scaring out prey for Winston to unload on.
“You don’t need me, bro,” Sarah said, smiling weakly.
“Sis...”
“Yo, Sarah!” a meth head called from further down the treeline. “Help us flank him from down yonder. And bring that kush witcha!”
Sarah took a deep breath, letting out a pilates sigh. “I’ll admit: I don’t dig this at all. Gigi and I sharing joint sisterhood with you, that is. Roomie, I never thought I’d say this...but I wish you two were in love instead.”
Sarah walked off. Winston’s headlamp illuminated the shock and awe on Gigi’s face. She quickly shut their lights off, then began choking on tears in the dark.
“Gigi, no - it’s all right, buddy,” Winston consoled her. He dropped his gun and pulled her into a hug.
“I’m...I’m ruining everything!” Gigi whispered, sobbing into Winston’s shoulder. “First, I ruined your brotherhood with the frat. And now, I’m ruining your sisterhood. I...can’t stop ruining your life.”
Winston cradled Gigi’s chin in the crick of his neck. He softly ran his fingertips up and down the petite girl’s spine. Gigi moaned softly, submitting to the harrowing strength of his arms. She pressed her ear against Winston's chest, listening to his sputtering heartbeat.
“If this is you ruining my life,” Winston began, “then please keep doing it.”
Winston released Gigi from his embrace. He reached up to her face to wipe a tear - but poked her eye instead.
“Eeek!” Gigi gasped.
“Ah, shit,” Winston muttered nervously. “Now if that ain’t some pure-tea-mouth-full-of-dick garbage. Fuck, I ain’t too good with words. Or aim. I-I’m sorry.”
“Well, that’s quite all right!” Gigi cheered confidently. “Because you just said the only words that matter. You gave me permission to ruin your life! And you. Can’t. Backpedal.”
Winston’s and Gigi’s phones vibrated. A text from Tai. Your buddies flanked me. I’m by the sewer. Meet me there.
“How the fuck did they reach him so fast?” Winston thought out loud. “Come on, Ji-hye.”
He...finally called me Ji-hye?!
Winston grabbed Gigi’s clammy hand and led the way through a labyrinth of gnarled roots and fresh spider webs. His stomping grounds for the past 18 years. Winston’s first kiss, first cigarette, and first taste of moonshine had all happened within this quarter-mile radius. All on the same day. When he was nine.
But no premature life experiences could prepare Winston for what he saw next. Tai lay face down on the ground in handcuffs. Towering over him was Ryan in all black, pointing a modded Uzi at Tai’s head.
“Whoa, what the fuck?!” Winston spat. Instinctively, he reached down where his paintball gun should have been. But he had been holding Gigi’s trembling hand instead. They had left their guns behind.
“I’m here for my bounty, Brother,” Ryan declared, beckoning Gigi with his Uzi. “Do you have any idea how much fucking shame she brought on my dad and our frat?” Gigi panned over to Winston, her face ghostly-white. “Not only did this yellow-bone slut defile my father’s ashes,” Ryan continued. “But she, along with this faggot over here, and your libtard sister stole our fucking fake IDs and kept the profits!”
“Winston, I’m fucking sorry, man!” Tai bawled, curling up in a fetal position.
Now Winston’s skin went pale. His allies’ betrayal was somehow more jarring than Ryan with a gun. Unlike this morning’s prank (commissioned for pure fun), Sarah, Tai, and Gigi had just stabbed a knife in Winston’s back and twisted it with a smile.
Winston released Gigi’s hand.
“Wise choice, Brother,” Ryan sneered, pointing the laser sight at Gigi’s forehead. “Now...walk forward, you fucking bitch!”
Gigi’s shoulders stiffened. Her large black pupils were resigned to death. She tossed a feeble smile Winston’s way. “W-what do you think we should do...brother?” A final attempt to muster what little sympathy Winston had left.
“I’m no brother of yours.”
“Please!” Gigi panted. “I was poor and desperate, and I really needed the money!”
BRRRAT-AT-AT.
A flurry of silenced Uzi rounds peppered a nearby tree, causing Gigi to shriek. Tai placed his mouth against the ground and wailed, knowing good and well he would be killed on the spot if he alerted the others.
“I guess karma’s a bitch after all,” Gigi whispered as a wet spot slowly formed on her jeans.
“Enough yapping, dumb bitch!” Ryan bellowed. “Get the fuck over here.”
Suddenly, Winston reared back and smacked Gigi in the face, sending her to the dirt.
“You fucking heard her, you goddamn double-crossing cunt!” With his steel-toed boot, Winston kicked Gigi in the stomach, causing her to lurch as she prostrated herself. As a million thoughts flashed through her mind, one stuck out.
Winston’s faking it? He must be faking it! Right?!
But fear struck the hopeful Gigi as Winston pulled out his Swiss Army knife. Even Ryan stared in confusion as he lifted her shirt up to reveal her slim waist.
“Bitch ain’t worth the fuckin’ bullet,” Winston snarled. “I’m gonna gut her like a fucking pig!” He pressed the tip of the cold blade on the smooth, pale skin just above her navel. Gigi sucked her stomach in, staring up at him with pleading puppy-dog eyes. He’s faking it, he’s faking it, he’s faking it! But the red-hot fiery pain that shot through her body was very real. A faint trail of blood followed Winston’s knife from her belly button to the cup of her lacy, black bra. A surface cut that ruined her immaculate porcelain skin.
The agnostic Gigi closed her eyes, murmuring a silent prayer as tears rolled down. But Winston spat in her face, breaking her trance.
Fuck it! Let’s toss her in the goddamn sewer and let her rot with the shit and needles.”
Ryan narrowed his eyes, signaling both respect and approval. “G-goddamn, Brother. Now that’s what I’m fuckin’ talking about. Talk about a clever way to hide this bitch’s body!”
“Ain’t no cop in the world gonna search a trailer park sewer,” Winston sneered.
“Jesus Christ, what the fuck’s wrong with you, you fucking bastard?!” Tai blurted out.
“Shut the fuck up, you babbling fucking faggot!” Winston yelled. Taking out his frustration, he snatched Gigi’s ponytail and dragged her through the mud toward the sewer. She kicked, screamed, and gnashed her teeth as she felt the roots of her hair being pulled out. Tai’s helpless hand reached out for Gigi as they passed him.
“Go on, pick it up,” Winston commanded, pointing down at the manhole cover. “You made your bed. Now fucking lie in it.”
Gigi sucked in a breath and slowly knelt down to slide the cover off. As she struggled to lift, Winston noticed that she was no longer crying. In his eyes, she was holding onto some vain hope that this was all an act. Or that she would wake up from this nightmare soon.
“Yo, Ryan!” Winston called out, as Gigi set the manhole cover aside. “What d’ya say after this, we drive over to her mom’s house and wine and dine the bitch? After we’ve had our fun, we can snap her neck and toss the old hag down here with her daughter.”
Gigi’s face twisted into a look of horror that was simply inhuman. Her tears flowed freely again. Even Ryan’s hands trembled as he steadied his gun. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Winston,” he whispered, excited and hesitant. “Her mom’s that fuckable, huh?”
“Nah. But once she sees that gun, I reckon she’ll be willing to try on her daughter’s lingerie. If we ask politely.”
“This…is real,” Gigi mouthed through chapped lips and a hoarse throat. The hyperventilating, blubbering girl managed one last breath.
“I...f-f-fucking hate you, W-w-winston.”
Winston shoved Gigi into the sewer. A silent 50-foot drop. Tai buried his face into dead leaves, wailing like a dying animal.
“No fuckin’ witnesses,” Ryan muttered, cocking his Uzi. Tai’s short life flashed before him as the red-dot sight blinded his eyes.
“FUCKING COCKSUCKERS!!!”
Suddenly, a screaming man burst from the woods and tackled Ryan to the ground. A flurry of Uzi rounds pierced the air. Coming to his senses, Winston dived on top of Tai, shielding him from any stray bullets.
“Winston, what the fuck man?!” Tai screamed, ignoring the two mens’ struggle beside them.
“She’ll be fine, roomie,” Winston stammered, tears welling up at Gigi’s last statement. He averted his gaze to see that the mystery man had won the struggle. The man stood up with the Uzi barrel at Ryan’s head. Emphasis on ‘stood up’, because that man was Alpha Beta Kappa’s very own Clyde Crenshaw.
“Fuck me, I don’t know what the fuck to ask you first,” Winston groaned, pushing himself to his feet. Sure enough, Winston was stuck between How in the sam fuck did you know we were here? and How in the sam fuck are you walking? But none of that mattered now. Winston limped over to the sewer entrance and called out. “Gigi! Can you hear me?”
A soft voice echoed from below. “Mmm...wha...I...I’m here. What...what h-happened? What’s...going on? So soft...”
“Winston, you fucking traitor!” Ryan spat. Clyde pressed his Converse onto the back of Ryan’s neck - gun at the ready.
An explanation: Cleft Falls was North Carolina’s largest dumping ground of used mattresses. In the dead of night, drivers would back their trucks up to the sewage canals to heave their beds overboard. Twin, queen, and even king-sized mattresses would make the long, filthy trek down the sewage runoff, backing up to this sewer entrance. Winston’s mom would beg her young son to play outside while she brought over new men to the trailer. Young Winston’s favorite passtime? Stacking mattresses 10 layers high, climbing up the ladder, and swan-diving from the top.
As part of Winston’s plan, those mattresses had broken Gigi’s fall.
“Thank fucking God you’re alive!” Winston yelled, tears streaming down his face. “You’re safe now. No one can hurt you anymore. Clyde, I reckon you’ve called the cops?”
“You’ve reckoned right, Brother,” Clyde responded, calling him that just to piss Ryan off.
“Fuck you!” Ryan scoffed. “I swear I’ll fucking kill all of you!”
“Good,” Winston responded to Clyde, ignoring his former brother. His tears dripped down the long, dark descent, sprinkling onto Gigi’s face.
“It’s...raining?” Gigi asked, slipping in and out of consciousness on an old, surprisingly comfy, Tempur-Pedic.
Tai came up from behind and swung his handcuffed arms in front of Winston, playfully choking him. “That’s not rain! Hey Gigi, Winston is crying for ya! Remember, he loves you like a quote-unquote brother!”
“Ah, fuck me,” Winston chuckled, exasperated.
“Hey, Gigi, did you hear that?” Tai yelled again. “Winston wants you to-WAH!”
Winston shoved Tai into the sewer to join Gigi on Mattress Mountain.
***
Cop cars lit up the trailer park as Winston, Gigi, Tai, and Sarah stood outside the entrance. A shivering Gigi huddled for warmth beneath Winston’s childhood fleece blanket. Turns out those old, rotten mattresses had been soaking in every form of mystery liquid in the sewer. The smell was rancid. An equally-rancid Tai distanced himself from Gigi while he recapped the incident to Sarah. Winston stood behind Gigi with his arms wrapped around her waist. Gigi fell asleep standing up, snoring gently as he rested his hand on her scar.
“Whoa, that’s fucking gnarly!” Sarah reacted with dilated pupils. “Shit, I sure did pick a bad time to get high with the other guys.”
“You what?!” Winston and Tai’s voices cracked.
Sarah shrugged. Then, a tall, muscular guy approached. “Whoa, you’re...walking?! Fuuuck, how high am I?”
No-longer-permanently-seated Clyde joined the circle. He crossed his arms, admiring his own two perfectly-working legs.
“Look, this stays between you and me,” Clyde mumbled in his deep, baritone voice. “If word gets around to the other brothers…” He hissed as he dragged a finger across his neck.
“Hey man, we owe you our fuckin’ life,” Winston said, squeezing Gigi’s waist tightly as her breathing quickened. “Your paraplegic secret's safe with us. But...how in the sam fuck did you know to come here?”
Clyde’s stone-sour face formed a twisted smile. “I’ll spare you the details, but...Twinston tipped me off.”
Gigi was still fast asleep in Winston’s arms, and it was probably for the best that she was unable to react to such news. “I see,” Winston responded. “Shiiiet. He is my better half, after all.”
Clyde nodded, then walked toward his truck. Through the windows, they saw the custom paraplegic hand controls. A reminder that Clyde would now be returning to his wheelchair-bound self.
“Winston! Oh muh lawd, muh baby!”
A tearful Velma rushed Winston and Gigi, gripping them in a bear hug that only a Mama could muster. Gigi gasped, awakened from a dream of Winston spooning her on a floating mattress in the sky.
“Ahm so glad y’all’s okay!” Velma continued, showering her son with kisses. Tai grinned at a frustrated Sarah, who threw her hands in the air.
“Hey, what about me, Mom?” Sarah complained. “I got so high that I got lost in the shower! Why don’t I get any fucking love around here?”
“Muh sweet daughter, of course ya do! H’why, I reckon you’ll get plenty of lovin’ from the guys tonight! There’s a gig of trailer park boys just a’sleepin’ in your old childhood room as we speak.”
“WHAT?!” Sarah sprinted toward Velma’s trailer, hell-bound to get to those meth heads before they raided her panty drawer. Or worse: before they found her secret stash of California kush. Tai, Sarah’s closest ally, chased after her.
Winston, Gigi, and Velma made small talk about their Michelin-star dinner. Then, a five-year-old neighborhood boy approached. Gigi stopped laughing, analyzing the boy’s mutated facial features. Cleft palate. Severe underbite. Angular cheilitis.
“I’m vewy sowry for evewything. I hope you come back see us.”
Gigi crossed her arms and bowed, her huge brown eyes beaming pitifully. “I promise when I get my dental degree, I will return and fix everybody’s teeth for free!”
“Pwahmise?” the boy responded in wonder. Even Velma flashed a toothy grin at such a grand proposition.
“If I don’t, Winston has to kiss me!”
“Ewww, cooties!” the boy cringed. He turned around and sprinted off toward Velma’s modular mansion: the home base for all kids in the trailer park.
Velma leaned forward and gave Winston a quick peck on the cheek. “Stole ya kiss, Gigi! So long, son. I luh ya’s.”
Velma left for her trailer. The cop cars finally peeled out, heading for the county jail. Winston and Gigi stood alone at that trailer park entrance. As a cool breeze hit, she pulled his blanket over her shoulders. She closed her big brown eyes, leaning forward for a kiss...
But before she could, Winston placed a hand on Gigi’s shoulder, signaling her to stop. Her eyes shot open, and she shuffled back. “Oh! I’m...sorry! I failed to discern that the atmosphere of such a…rustic locale may sap the romance from a potential initial kiss! And fail to mention will I not the fact that I was stranded in a sewage depository! And...that I may or may have soiled myself…”
But it wasn’t the location or the smell that stopped Winston from kissing her. He took a deep breath and placed both hands on Gigi’s shoulders like a fourth-down huddle.
“Look at me,” Winston began. “Aside from this whole...fake ID debacle, is there anything else I need to know about?”
Gigi’s heart sank. She audibly gulped. Winston’s suspicions were correct, and all she could think about was Winston’s prized gun marinating at the bottom of Rumwood Lake. The lost gun that caused him so many sleepless nights - that prompted him to flat-out buy a new gun that he re-gifted to her, of all people.
After tonight’s battle, Gigi was in no condition to bury it in her conscience.
“Ji-hye,” Winston repeated her real name again, attempting to calm down the twitchy-eyed girl. “I just need to make sure I’m gonna be able to trust you.”
“I’m so sorry!” Gigi cried out. She buried her face in his chest and confessed the ‘where’, ‘when’, and ‘why’ of his prized Colt Single-Action Army revolver. But as she wound down her colorful story, Winston wasn’t seething. He was...grinning mischievously.
“Mom, now!” Winston called out.
Winston broke away from Gigi’s embrace, and Velma fired a pair of paintballs at center mass. Brilliant neon splatters coated Gigi’s small breasts in a dazzling display of sweet, sweet revenge.
Gigi’s jaw hit the floor. Then, with a bashful smile, she opened her mouth to speak.
“First rule of paintball,” chanted Winston, Gigi, and Velma in unison. “Never trust anybody.”
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2020.09.28 11:05 Meda28Sepl2 Cheap sex cameras

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submitted by Meda28Sepl2 to u/Meda28Sepl2 [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:36 dourdan Cheap sex cameras

Rise of Hellion ch5: Norcal
Rise of Hellion ch5: Norcal (Barry Pepper fanart fiction inspiration)
previously:
https://www.reddit.com/BarryPeppecomments/ip50pl/rise_of_hellion_ch4_into_the_flame_barry_peppe

I was pregnant, that much was certain. (The influx of hormones explained a few moments that I'd rather forget.) It all started when Anya and I hitched a ride to Seattle with a van full of stoners, heading to a music festival. My metal legs were in decent, usable shape although the straps had seen better days. I was struggling to keep up with Anya’s able-bodied, human legs, but I was grateful to have her as my friend.
She walked with a sweet, sensual confidence; something that made people want to trust her, to know her. Along the way, we got free cigarettes, food and even money. We met the sexy college-age stoners (three men and two women) in a truck stop in Oregon. I never even had to talk.
I was offered copious amounts of pills, cheap vodka and weed. I tried to take just enough to relax and sleep my way to Washington. But through it all, I started to remember more and more details of my encounter with Noah. Piece by piece, each moment came back to me in the form of the Flower Child (my neon glowing guardian angel) leading me through a series of rusty metal doors. Each door led me to a different part of that night’s conversation. Apparently, I had told Noah about my past sexual abuse, running away from home, and getting my legs blown off: total cringe.
"I feel like I was put on this earth to serve powerful men," said the drunk, past version of me.
"Powerful men?" Noah said with a chuckle. "Like congressmen and shit? Good thing there are no powerful men here, just a bunch of screw ups and good-old-boys." Noah put his arm around me, holding me close. "And you, our newest teammate."
"Really?"
"You were great out there," he said taking another drag off the cigarette. "A real assassin."
I cupped his face, with the biggest smile. "What would you say if I kissed you?" Before Noah could reply I brushed my mouth to his. "Sorry." I was giggling uncontrollably.
Noah smiled sweetly, placing a finger to my cheek. "Do I make you nervous?”
I bit my lip, lost in his eyes. “I feel like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs."
A jolt of pain blinked me back to reality as my head smashed into the roof of the van. We were flying, falling, eventually crashing. I was already in the back, comfortably wrapped in a blanket, so I was able to punch my way out of the back window. Looking around I could see the van had fallen down a steep cliff, landing on a beach. "Anya!" I shouted, hoping to God she was alive.
I struggled to my feet which was difficult to do with my left leg falling off. Suddenly, two arms grabbed me, pulling me backward towards the water. I tried to scream, but was too injured to fight back, especially when my captor started to pick up speed. This was a human, flesh and blood but he was moving as fast as a car.
So, I just buried my face against the abductor's chest to protect myself from the g-force. We landed on a wooden surface with a thud. I expected to hit my head, but the man carried me like a bride, placing me down carefully on a hospital bed. When I caught my breath, I sat up just enough to look around; somehow, we were on a boat. "Did you just walk on water?" I asked with a forced chuckle.
"Just one of my many superpowers," replied a familiar voice.
"Tony!" I shouted. My body filled with energy, I sprang up, throwing my arms around him.
"I miss you too, kid." Tony returned the embrace, looking over my shoulder. "Yo, Axel."
"Axel's here?" I heard his footsteps before I heard his voice.
"Is the target secure?"
"Affirmative," Tony replied.
"The target?" I asked, suddenly feeling less homesick for my TAC friends.
"Just a formality," Axel said as he patted my arm. "We're glad to have you back."
"Me or just my bionic legs?" Both were still attached but holding on by a thread.
"You would be technically correct," Axel said with a friendly smile. "Your legs are lo-jacked. I'm surprised the Lifers let you keep them." Our fearless leader went to the front of the boat, steering us in the direction of a very noticeable helicopter. "We tracked you to the artic base, that was why we sent the unit in after the battery.”
"Um, what?" I felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart. I was the reason why Noah was in trouble, and possibly dead.
"TAC wanted it's property back, but we wanted you back.”
"Who's we?" The people who love me? Was that what Axel was going to say?
"I for one, and certainly Tony." Axel made it to the pickup point, signaling for the chopper to lower the ropes to attach to my bed.
"Yes, sir," Tony said, taking a seat on my hospital bed. together we were raised up to the cargo hold. Upon reaching the landing pad, the door shut.
I could see where a single pilot was controlling every aspect of the process. The roar of the engine was so loud, speech was impossible, as I found out the hard way. "Where are we going?" I shouted as loud as I could.
"What?" Tony replied.
My throat was already sore, and I didn’t feel like repeating myself. Instead, I simply rested my body while blinking tears from my eyes.
Tony took it upon himself to hold me close, rocking me in his arms like a frightened child. "We're headed to Vancouver, you'll love it there, I promise. I'll be with you every step of the way."
I sobbed, burying my face in Tony's shoulder. Grateful that I somehow heard his words of kindness over the roar of the wind.
He held my hand, giving my fingers a squeeze. I could imagine he was thinking about all the horrible things Anya and Baron had done, how I must be crying out of fear or even pain. He would never in a million years, guess why my heart was broken.
Tony's breath was trembling. Was he cold? Or did he truly care? The very idea seemed so sweet. And that was why I kissed him.
Tony closed his eyes and smiled. Maybe he silently mouthed my name, I wasn’t sure, but I’d like to think so. I placed my hand to his chest. He was wearing body armor, so moved my hand lower, to his belt. I knew the pilot could see us, possibly even heard us, but I didn’t care.
Tony could have stopped me but he didn’t. I’d had sex with beautiful boys like Tony before. He was so open and gentle, possibly a virgin. The idea made me want him even more; I wanted to be the one to make the robot-superhero-boy into a real man.
We held on to each other even after landing in Canada. "I'll give you two a moment," the pilot shouted from his seat. There was other stuff to unload from the back, giving us time to make ourselves presentable.
"Was I your first,” I asked with all the flirty seduction of a teen prostitute who watched too many Disney movies.
Tony laughed awkwardly as he helped me off the cargo ramp. “I still can’t believe that just happened.”
“Yeah,” I muttered. I was a slut; I was a whore, but at least I was the one in control. “I just needed to feel something.”
“Love?” Was he being sarcastic? I couldn’t tell. Yet in that moment he sounded human.
“Sometimes I feel like I don’t know what love is.” Looking into Tony’s dark eyes, I knew my plan; I would learn to love Tony, I would give Dr. Toki the super soldier baby that she wanted.
Which brings me to today.
It had been a little over a week of working out, eating great food and spending time on the beach. I had been feeling a little sick, so I was given a pregnancy test in the form of a urine strip. It was the kind that was supposed to show either one or two lines. It showed nothing, as if I had no female hormones at all. (Apparently that was not uncommon for females who survived trauma.) I was told to return to training; weights, cardio etc. The Vancouver TAC base was a nice enough facility but there was no outdoor gym, not even a track. I would work out with Tony, competitively trying to stay on the treadmill longer (I'd given up on trying to out lift him.)
During our downtime, we were watching cartoons while drinking weird Gatorade mixtures, when suddenly the local news reported a breaking story. “What the hell?” I groaned. “What could be so important that they had to interrupt syndicated reruns of Bob’s Burgers?”
“A team of heavily armored individuals have been attacking parked vehicles in the downtown area.” The camera zoomed in on a masked man wearing Noah’s armor. Was this Noah, was he alive?
I gripped my chest, sinking my nails in to my skin. Was I high? Was I dreaming? I could feel my heart pounding right before I fell forward.
Tony rushed to my side, and stayed with me even as I started vomiting. I went limp in his arms as he carried me to the medical ward.
That was when I was given a blood test, followed by an ultrasound. I was unquestionably pregnant. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but no sleep came. The last thing I remember was holding Tony's hand.
"Does Tony have access to the third floor of the sub level?" the voice came from everywhere and nowhere.
“What?” The words made no sense given the vast number of buildings on the base. There could even be a sub-terrain lower level I didn’t even know about.
“Never mind,” the echo said with a groan.
I awoke gasping for air. I was no longer in a bed but rather on a rooftop in the pouring rain. I wanted to pull my legs close, in to a fetal position. If only to stay warm, but my prosthetics were gone. “Fuck my life.”
In the distance I could see a human figure; a man walking a large animal, like a lion or a bear. "Noah?" I said in a whisper. What was he? Did he take me from the clinic? Was he going to kill me?
The human figure let go of the animal, before taking a few steps back. The animal made a deep, sickly, inhuman sound but did not advance further. The human groaned, still standing out of view. He moved his hand, striking the creature in the back. The sound was sickening as metal tore through skin.
"Noah, please stop!" I crawled to the injured creature. Clearly it didn’t want to hurt me or anyone. I reached out my hand, the way I would for a stray dog. But once I was close enough to see the creature’s face I screamed. “Oh, dear God.” Even through all the armor and mutilation, I could never forget his blue eyes. “Noah, what did they do to you?”
Noah had deep scars all over his body; arms, shoulders, and back. On his neck was a collar held on by two spikes; one in his throat and another in his spine. The wounds were fresh, he had been bleeding very badly. It was clear he wanted to speak but couldn’t.
“It’s ok, I’m here.” It wasn’t ok, nothing about this was ok. I reached for his hand, but Noah shook his head. There were large metal braces on his hands, strange black spikes that made him look like the Marvel comic character Venom (or a demon from hell.)
Since it was clear Noah had no intention of attacking me, I stayed where I was. But if the restrained beast was Noah, then who was the standing figure? It had to be the infamous Feng, sent on behalf of Kitsune after Anya and I went missing. That made sense. And now I was completely sure I was going to die.
Noah opened his mouth, struggling for breath, “You- will- prevail.” He coughed up blood, his body convulsing. “I’ll never forget you. I could never forget you.”
I wanted so badly to hold him. Maybe I could save him or at least die trying. “I love you…” my breath trailed off. I wanted to vomit or at least scream. What kind of person falls in love with someone they knew for a single night? This isn’t a fucking Disney movie! Yet here I was. I wanted to die.
Noah swallowed hard, causing his throat to spasm as he spoke, “I will die loving you.”
The words cut me to my core. I screamed into the rain, as the standing figure pulled on the leash, dragging Noah away. All that was left of that moment was a streak of blood along the concrete roof.
I rocked back and forth crying. ‘Who was that? Where were my legs?’
"Hard to tell who you can trust," a male voice said from behind me.
"What's stopping me from hurling myself off this roof?”
“I don’t really know,” the voice replied. “The story would continue; Noah, Anya, Baron, etc. It would just be the end for you.”
“Am I the battery? Is this some kind of DaVinci code shit?" I started to scoot backward if only to adjust my weight, and immediately fell off a ledge.
My guardian angel grabbed my arm. “Hey, be careful.” It was the Flower Child but he seemed older, stronger, with a face weathered by time. "Maybe later, after you get rid of the passenger in your womb."
"Are you saying I should get an abortion first?" I asked sarcastically, through tears.
Flower Child chuckled as he took a seat at my side. "You're welcome for saving your life, Miss Nicki.”
"What are you?" I violently jerked my arm away. "Are you even real? Or are you some kind of mash up of every guy I've ever fucked?"
My emotional outburst was met with laughter. "You mean I'm your dream date? Am I your Ken, Barbie girl?"
I shook my head. "You're imaginary. I'm just talking to myself."
"Do you remember the Junior nationals, when you won your first medal?"
"No,” I replied quickly. I remembered; I just didn’t want to continue the conversation with my imaginary friend.
Flower Child nodded and stood up. "The day you won that medal was the day you became something more than a scared little girl."
"Sure." And now my brain was forcing me to remember that day. I had qualified for the vault finals but for whatever reason my coach pulled me from the rotation. No, actually I knew perfectly well why. He wanted to punish me for hiding in the bathroom when getting dressed. He liked all the girls to change in the public hallway, where he could ‘supervise,’ because we were all so disobedient.
I knew that for a fact. I still got dressed and walked out with the rest of the finalists. Right away I was pulled from the rotation. My coach had told them I was unfit to compete, which was clearly a lie since I had no injuries. I told the advocates what was happening; what my coach had down to me ever since I was six. There were tears in my eyes and I knew for a fact my coach would make my life a living hell, but was allowed to vault.
Assuming I was not in the running for a medal, I tried a vault that I had only been allowed to do in practice; The Produnova. For those of you non-gymnasts, it's when you run up to the spring board, and do a mid-air summersault without landing on your head. The legendary Elena Produnova could do two maybe three summersaults before landing. I always thought she looked like a bullet or a cannon ball.
I can remember doing my run, flying higher than I had ever been, and then landing on my feet. Every muscle in my body wanted to fall over, but I held strong. I was going to stick my landing even if it killed me. The audience was silent, in shock, awe and horror. A junior level gymnast was never meant to land The Produnova. I was supposed to be dead, crippled but I wasn’t. I was a performer and I did that vault for myself. After taking point deductions for doing the wrong vault (technical shit,) I got third place. Not that I even got to keep my medal. No one spoke for me, but no one could ever take away what was rightfully mine. But what did I have now?
The Flower Child started to walk backward, into the shadows of the rain storm. “I’ll leave that choice up to you.”
I didn’t scream or cry. in all honesty I didn’t care. He wasn't real, he was just the part of me that needed a good kick in the ass. I needed to find my way off the roof, and I needed to be smart about it. I spent the next few minutes scooting on my hands and my butt, making every movement count (as to not accidently fall to my death.) Eventually I located what was clearly a door.
Balancing on my leg stumps, I could barely reach the door handle. I tightened my core muscles to execute a leap, pulling on the handle with all my strength. It was, of course, locked. At least I had a place to rest my back. I waited until the rain stopped, taking a moment to breathe. "I could really use a rescue from a handsome prince. Or maybe a chubby-cheeked plumber named Mario? Yeah, right."
I suddenly heard a thump on the opposite side of the door, as if something had dropped down (or teleported.) "Hello?" I said with a tap. "Anyone there?" Just as I spoke, the door opened, causing my exhausted body to fall backward into a dark hallway.
I was indoors, that was something. I took a moment to lean back, anticipating my next move. I really needed to find my prosthetic legs (or some kind of replacement) so I wouldn’t have to bruise the shit out of my arms and wrists. Until then I would have to deal with scooting around like a crippled puppy.
I made my way across the hall, down a set of stairs. I wanted to scream for help but there were no security guards or human life of any kind, not even any cameras. The first hallway was lit by a single halogen bulb with a metal door (possibly a fire escape) waiting for me at the end of a short path. I went through, only to find a stairwell with only a single set of stairs going down only a single floor. “What the?”
I made my way down, then across a different hallway. Door after door had been left open, in a very distinct path. Was I being led into a trap? There were no windows, only digital lights that seemed to mark rooms with unintelligible binary numbers.
After a while, I saw a few security cameras (the kind that look like glossy black balls, or eyes, attached to the wall.) Was I being watched? The idea sort of pissed me off. Was I an experiment, a rat in a maze? Before every open door I heard a thud. It was sometimes loud, sometimes soft. The variation lead me to believe it was organic. Someone was physically opening the doors for me; they had a plan, and endgame. And I was just a plastic piece on a checkerboard; only exploring as far as my overlord wanted me to go.
The final door unlocked a server room where dozens of towers were being housed at refrigerated temperatures. The jungle of cords seem to lead to a central point. In the center of the room was a red, open suitcase with wires coming from all angles. It seemed alive, kind of like a digital sea creature. In the middle of the case, where a clam would typically house its pearl, was a small glowing D-cell battery. "The battery?" This was what Kitsune was fighting for; what Noah died for?
Every single tower appeared to be powered from the suitcase. A sound theory until I started to look closer at the plastic cylinder, housing the ‘battery.’ It was freezing cold, except for the areas near ports. That meant I was wrong; the room full of servers were trying to unload the files from the small device (resulting in a massive outpour of energy.) “Wow,” I muttered. “This must be what a Yoda byte looks like.”
My comment caused laughter; a deep, male voice spoke up from just out of my line of sight. “You’re standing in the presence of project Neptune; aka The Battery, one of the modern wonders of the world.”
“The battery is a massive glorified flash drive?” I asked, taking a step back.
"Pretty much. The only person who could have deciphered its contents is long gone."
"Noah? He was guarding it, right? Why didn’t he ever try to open it?”
“I imagine it was for the same reason why you’re not trying to make a grab for it: the damn thing’s more trouble than it’s worth.”
“You didn’t lead me here?” I turned expecting to see the Flower Child. I don’t know why, maybe on some level the voice was similar. “Axel?”
The tall imposing man stood in full camo armor. He crossed his arms, looking at the battery with a sense of nostalgia. "Noah wanted to invent his own creations," Axel said with a sigh. "And, well between you and me, I think he already knew what was on it.”
"Hi,” I said in a squeaky voice. My mind was a mix of sadness, and fear, combined with the physical pain of having walked on my hands for the past few hours. “Am I in trouble?”
“No, but you were being tested.” He picked up his com-radio. “Target is secure, stand down.” He returned his focus to our conversation. “You were taken from the clinic under the veil of bad weather. We had no idea where your assailant had put your body, until you were spotted by the cameras. Clearly someone was tracking you; someone who knew the location of the battery.”
And whoever it was, hoped that a legless teenage girl would be allowed to escape the base with the high-value target. “So, how well did you know Noah or Cronos or whatever?”
“Noah Garrison was a military asset who went AWOL. It’s assumed he suffered a mental break.”
“But you don’t believe that.”
“I knew him before he disappeared,” Axel said with a nod. “He was a genius, a warrior, a friend.”
“I didn’t even know his last name.” I bit my lip, trying not to cry. “I’m just some stupid kid at the zoo who keeps falling head first in to the animal enclosures.” That sounded about right; some were helpful creatures while others seemed to want my blood.
“Had you made a play for the battery you would have had the full force of TAC on your ass, but as it stands, I am of the belief that you are being stalked by the international terrorist known as Faust.”
“Faust?” My entire body went limp. I was now crying uncontrollably and was moments away from vomiting the contents of my empty stomach.
“Lift your arms,” Axel said like a comforting parent. “Not to be disrespectful, but I want to get you reunited with your legs as soon as possible.”
I nodded and he lifted me like a crying toddler holding me close. With his free hand he pushed a button to open a previously unseen side door. Curious, I turned my head just enough to see the massive amount of armed guards.
Axel waved his arm, and the armored soldiers stepped to the side allowing him to pass. I had never felt so safe and so loved.

next:
https://www.reddit.com/BarryPeppecomments/j87s60/rise_of_hellion_ch6_retail_hell/
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2020.09.23 04:08 chronoplaid [watch humor] The Balance Cock Bugle: Watch news... with "the Onion" treatment

[watch humor] The Balance Cock Bugle: Watch news... with Courtesy of TwoBrokeWatchSnobs.com

Balance Cock Bugle
Husband with Selective Taste Begs Wife, “Please, Please Don’t Buy Me Another Watch” SOUTH ORANGE, NEW JERSEY – Mark Mueller, 42, stared at the face of his Fossil-brand timepiece, “…actually it doesn’t have a model name. I suppose it doesn’t need one.” He bit down on his quivering lip and furrowed his brow before closing his eyes, “and it’s quartz so I don’t need to worry about winding it.”
Incidentally, Mueller hadn’t procured the watch himself. It was a gift from his wife (one watch of many actually) that wouldn’t have been his first choice… or second or third… if it were ever up to him. Over the years he’d amassed several dozen, all of which were incredible mark-downs from their original MSRP costs that were “too good to pass up.”
Mueller tried to explain the persisting phenomenon, “She says gift giving is her love language…” He removed the Fossil and placed it with the others in his repurposed cookie tin box “…whatever that means.” He shook the tin from side to side as if panning for gold before picking up another, “This DKNY one was originally $399 but she found it at Macy’s for less than seventy if you can believe it. She’s got a real nose for this kind of stuff.”
When pressed about the origins of his interest, Mueller sheepishly confided, “Actually my dad had a Rolex when I was a kid. It was the only thing I’d ever seen him wear. He used to let me shake it back and forth and I could feel the rotor spin through the case. It was almost cathartic.” His eyes distilled toward a wandering haze, “I made the mistake of telling Sandra that story and birthdays haven’t really ever been the same since… or promotions… or Hanukah.”
In his closing remarks, Mueller clarified, “Not ‘mistake’,” rocking his head side to side, “perhaps ‘overshared.’ I mean why own one or two Rolexes when you could have several dozen-” His voice trailed off before reaching back in the box, “…Kenneth Cole Reactions.”

freepngimg.com
Mark Zuckerberg Purchases Rolex Brand… Just Because. In an unexpected turn of events, billionaire Mark Zuckerberg, 36, ignited global controversy with his decision to purchase Rolex SA—quite possibly the only other corporate identity capable of challenging the brand awareness of Facebook’s social empire.
In response to the shaken investors as to why, he simply shrugged, “Because I could.”
It was a move of unprecedented spontaneity for the watch world… most of all for Jean-Frederic Dufour, Rolex’s CEO who, upon hearing the news of the backdoor deal, muttered in disbelief, “He can’t actually do this, can he? What the hell just happened…?”
Choosing to forgo a press conference, Zuckerberg had this to say: “While boredom should be reason enough, I guess there’s just something intrinsically special to this particular brand’s mastery of exclusivity… the concept of unobtainability is one I’ve always sought to patent and apply toward all business dealings… whether it’s intellectual property or anything else one might hold dear.” Zuckerberg let out a chuckle, “Like that one time I bought half of Kauai just to fence it off and piss off the locals.” He shook his head, “Sure was worth it to see their faces though.”
Watch collectors have already begun to posture their savings accounts for the trials that lie ahead, polling Instagram users with annoying requests to highlight their preferences for the non-Rolex “sell pile.” In the meantime, Zuckerberg’s latest Tweet only furthered the panic, “That new blueberry Submariner kind of reminds me of our Facebook logo,” he remarked. “I think I’ll keep that one. All of that one. The ‘smurf’ too.”
While community opposition has begun to mount against Zuckerberg’s further restriction of product flow, he remains cryptic, “The future exists in China, which is exactly why we’ll relocate our headquarters for operations in Beijing where we’ll quadruple production. This is not to say they’ll become more widely available… we don’t even know what Rolex is yet. How big it can get, how far it can go. A million Submariners isn’t cool, you know what’s cool? A billion Submariners.”
Upon saying this, Zuckerberg paused a beat and gazed at his Timex, “Perhaps I’ll keep all of those too.”

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IWC Stoked That COVID and BLM Have Eclipsed the Toxic Male Investigations Led by #MeToo. LOS ANGELES, CA—For many, 2019’s cultural shift could best be remembered as the wake up call America needed to acknowledge the victimization caused by sexual abuse. To some, it was simply “a good start.” Regardless, the media carried its message loud and clear; no person or entity would be spared the investigative scrutiny driven by the #MeToo movement. While reports are inconclusive, it’s estimated that those impacted were at least 90 percent women.
The ensuing audit of our culture for trace amounts of testosterone was thorough enough to impress the most stringent of gestapo—there was little IWC could do to bypass the attention, lest they remove all the, “absolutely no girls allowed signs” duct taped to their exhibition case displays.

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It wouldn’t be long before 2020’s coronavirus and civil unrest would pivot the nation’s focus. Chad Richards, IWC’s head of U.S. marketing, was counting his blessings.
“F**k me, bro,” he began. “They had us by the balls for sure. I didn’t know if we’d ever be able shake the bad press haunting us from those earlier ads.”
Richards took a beat to adjust his belt buckle, further adding, “I mean, it was like… we stepped in a s**t… which was actually the baited trigger of a bear trap… one of those big, old rustic ones that would look badass on your office wall, you know? Only… on the side, instead of “made in America” it read, ‘How do you like me now, bitch?’ He motioned his hips, figuratively thrusting upward, ‘F**k you, f**k you, f**k you,'” and eventually concluded, “Literally, it required several acts of God to pry off their lockjaw.”
When questioned if IWC had anything to add regarding BLM or the pandemic, he replied, “Yes, absolutely. God bless BLM, God bless COVID, God bless the troops, and God bless America. Stay safe, you guys. It’s all kinds of nuts out there.”
Editor’s Note: The TBWS crew wants to clarify that these are real IWC ads and they’ve not been manipulated in any way.

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Top Reddit Watch Seller Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize OSLO, NORWAY — Pat Ramachandran, noted Reddit watch seller with a transaction bling score over 25,000, was today nominated for this year’s Nobel Peace Prize. Berit Reiss-Andersen, chairperson of the Norwegian Nobel Committee, was effusive in her praise of Ramachandran: “In the past year, despite a global pandemic, social unrest, and economic catastrophe, [Ramachandran] successfully found homes for thousands of neglected watches.”
“Our committee took the time to read through every impassioned Reddit post, noting that every single piece, despite being in ‘like new’ condition with ‘only a few faint marks’, had been suffering from painful yet preventable conditions such as insufficient wrist time and lengthy captivity within watch boxes. By helping to send these to good homes, Pat showed true selflessness and extreme care for these deprived timepieces. What ultimately led to our decision, however, were Direct Messages that explained Ramachandran was taking a hit on every transaction.”
The fact that Ramachandran’s nomination was announced publicly came as a shock, as the Nobel regulations stipulate that nominees’ names be sealed for fifty years before release. However, the Committee chose to allow this nomination to be made publicly in order to bolster Ramachandran’s chances to win the world’s top humanitarian achievement, a guest spot on Talking Watches.

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Man Tears Rotator Cuff Trying To Get Rolex Into Frame On Video Call WANTAGH, NEW YORK — “Look, part of my job is knowing what I’m talking about. How the hell am I supposed to be taken seriously during Zoom calls if these f**king plebs can’t see my Rolex?”
Brandon Jung officially filed for worker’s compensation after purportedly injuring himself during the regular course of his employment as a Digital Marketing Project Manager for ReadySetMarketing, a reputation management business located in Wantagh, NY.
When asked why his Rolex needed to be in the Zoom frame, Mr, Jung replied, “Are you serious right now, man? We need to show our clients that we’re on the bleeding edge of what digital marketing has become and what it’s going to be. These people expect us to represent ourselves to the highest possible standards because Manhattan eats digital marketing agencies alive. A Rolex tells everyone in the room that you mean f*cking business and should be taken seriously.”
When corrected that his current employment location of Wantagh, NY was in fact over 40 miles away from Manhattan, Mr, Jung looked down at my Timex MKI, back at me, and refused to respond.
We reached out to Brandon’s supervisor Bob Spatz, ReadySetMarketing’s CMO, for comment. “What? CMO? I mean, I guess, but – listen we’re a small group here. There’s 5 of us including Brandon. We mainly deal with reputation management. You know, writing positive Yelp reviews for local restaurants, creating NAP data, and managing people’s ‘Google My Business’ accounts. I wouldn’t classify what we do as ‘digital marketing’.”
We asked about Mr. Jung’s title of “Digital Marketing Project Manager” to which Mr. Spatz responded “says here he’s a ‘Reputation Associate'” he explains, reading off Brandon’s hard copy employee file. “We’re not too strict with titles around here.”
We asked Mr. Jung about his CMO’s comments regarding his actual title of ‘Reputation Associate.’
“Of course he lied to you, you’re wearing a f*cking Daniel Wellington.”
ReadySetMarketing is contesting Mr. Jung’s filing of worker’s compensation, stating that his Rolex isn’t an essential tool for his day to day duties and that no one else in the video call had their camera on except him.

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YouTube Watch Reviewer Confused That He Can’t Pay Rent with Freebies LOS ANGELES, CA — “I showed her the quality of the logo on the box.” Blaine Reed, the YouTube watch reviewer, explained as he raised a box for us to see the embossed lettered. “See? That’s pressed into the box – not printed. Quality! And these – look,” Mr. Reed then showed us that the watch brand’s logo was also on the extra straps they included. “Attention to detail – boom. But she didn’t care. She was all like ‘Sir, we can’t accept your watches as a rent payment’.”
Late on Thursday September 3rd, the popular YouTube watch reviewer was reported as banging loudly on the glass doors of the Rockvale Grotto Apartment Rental leasing office. When informed that it was after office hours, Blaine insisted the doors be open because he pays their salaries.
Upon being granted entry, Susan Tisdale, the leasing associate running the office that day, reported that Mr. Reed appeared exhausted and out of breath as he hauled a black construction trash bag behind him. Mr. Reed than began to empty the contents of the bag onto the leasing office floor, revealing a purported 63 different watches.
After inquiring as to the meaning of Mr. Reed’s actions, Ms. Tisdale shared with authorities that Mr. Reed then began to section off the watch boxes into 3 categories: “classy minimalist,” “baller sporty,” and “fly.”
“Listen, this is just insane,” Mr. Reed continued to our crew. “The retail value of these watches alone could pay for 3 years of my rent.” We asked Mr. Reed how he acquired the watches. “These brands are all about fair pricing, top quality, and cutting out the middleman, you know? They come to me to help spread the word on what they do. So they send me a watch to review.” We asked why Mr. Reed kept all the watches and didn’t return them or share them with his audience. “That’s rude, man – why would you turn down a gift?”
After Mr. Reed asked how much he’d receive as an appearance fee for being covered in this piece, we inquired as to whether taking free watches as payments for reviews compromises his biased or unbiased position as a reviewer people can trust. Mr. Reed replied that he didn’t understand the question. But he did inform us that we could use the code BLAINEDAWG10 to receive 10% off our next purchase.

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Adult Diaper Purchases Spike in Anticipation of Collectors Sh**ting Themselves over Latest Rolex Reveal PALO ALTO, CA — In the wake of COVID-19 preparation, America’s populace learned a valuable lesson in emergency preparedness; purchase all the toilet paper you can. What can’t be purchased, steal. Silicon Valley’s aspiring tech moguls won’t be fooled twice and have applied the same logic toward adult diaper hoarding, well-aware of the news that Rolex has been leaking updates for their latest releases. Enthusiasts everywhere are primed for soiling themselves.
“As an entrepreneur, anticipating unexpected needs has been my biggest disruption to competitive markets,” says Andrew Chang, CEO to several start-ups he describes as “the Uber of crypto-currency and general pivoting.” “There’s a new rat race on the horizon,” he continues. “Everybody will be pre-occupied with acquiring the latest Rolex but nobody’s factoring the secondary effects here—rampant involuntary control of bowels at the next Redbar watch meet-up. Sure, you’ll try to play it cool when somebody finally drops the latest Blueberry Sub in front of your next watch pile… but good luck trying to hide the explosive excrement running down the pant leg of your chinos.”
Andrew is currently developing an application that will allow users to trade diaper stock quantity, while values are expected to fluctuate based on trending Rolex-related SEO data. “Posturing ourselves to be proactive through diversification has been the foundation of our success. Times change, but monetizing Rolex hysteria is ever-present.”
When questioned how this could impact local hospice needs or convalescent care for seniors, he’s continued to dismiss the concern. “You mean the generation responsible for carbon emissions, global warming, and systemic prejudices? You can’t be serious…”

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Bahamian Vacationer Drowns Due To Bezel Play NASSAU, BAHAMAS — Randal Baker drowned early Sunday morning while on vacation with his family in the Bahamas. The event occurred just after an incident between the 32-year old accountant and the tour guide for Sunny Fun Day Underwater Tours.
“I don’t understand. I told Mr. Baker that it was time to surface,” Ramon, their tour guide explained “But he just kept looking at his watch and saying something about ISO standards and asking me if my Apple Watch was ISO COSC.” Ramon paused and then added in confusion “I wasn’t wearing an Apple Watch. I don’t know why he thought I was.”
Mr. Baker’s wife recalled how much her husband was looking forward to this vacation.
“I would wake up some nights and he’d be next to me on his phone, looking up different diver watches and reading reviews. ‘I need to make sure I can find something that will hold up to our dive.’
‘Honey,’ I’d tell him, ‘the Sunny Fun Day Underwater Tour website says it’s only 15 ft, won’t your Oris be fine?’
‘The Diver 65?! Are you crazy – it’s only 10 ATM!’ Eventually he bought a [redacted], calling it his ‘adventure’ watch'”
However, while readjusting his chest mounted GoPro underwater, experts determined that the bezel had just enough play to cost Randal his life.
The Sunny Dive Tour team was monitoring their dive time on a cellphone from the boat and keeping in radio contact with each other. But Mr. Baker had been monitoring the dive time on his newly acquired ‘Adventure Watch’ – the [redacted]. After the bezel play had occurred, there was a one to two minute discrepancy between the two monitored dive times.
Despite pleas and protests to resurface from the 15ft shallow dive, his last recorded words were to the effect that COSC ISO and the Watchfam wouldn’t let him down.

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Watch Collector Optimistic with Latest Acquisition’s Potential to Raise His Sex Appeal SEATTLE, WA—Having come across a flattering photo of Ryan Reynolds in a Google search for “celebrity watch brands,” Melvin Greenberg, 41, was convinced, “This is the one. This is the one that will finally get me laid.”
Before Piaget, Melvin had trialed several different watch companies with mixed celebrity endorsements, none of which had proven fruitful. He was convinced that the Tag Heuer Carrera, backed by the star power of Tom Brady and actor Brad Pitt, would have been a little overkill… but that, too, appeared faulty in effect. Sure enough, politics have a tendency to make their way into sponsorships which could have muddied the waters—alliances are frequently broken and re-established. Pitt, for example, had been swapped out by Tag for Leonardo DiCaprio.
Melvin believes, “It’s possible women were confused by the switch because now Brad Pitt’s an ambassador for Breitling. I can barely keep up with this, myself.” Against his better judgement, Melvin had purchased a Breitling Chronomat (just to be sure), even though he knew there was no mistaking him for a pilot.
With Reynolds’ Deadpool 2 having earned $786 million at the box office, a new record was set for the highest grossing rated R-film of all time. Reynolds’ persona had become synonymous with Deadpool’s—a relationship that would surely become tantamount for Piaget in return—and indistinguishably linked to how Melvin would be perceived.
For Melvin, it was the final touch to his innuendo-heavy profession of mattress sales, where he knew women would subliminally associate him with, “comfort and dreamscapes,” among “other forms of horizontal refreshment.”
Main Photo Credit: Mr Guy Aroch (mrporter.com)

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Ebay Seller Lists, “Used/Superb Leather Hodinkee Straps – in USED, Honest Condition, See Comments. No Returns.” MIAMI, FLORIDA — “Super discount! These aren’t just any leather watch straps… these are extremely high quality Hodinkee-brand straps,” says WatchHead1775, “not your cheap Amazon ones.”
Included in the lot are three pairs at fifty percent off retail for a BuyItNow price of $528 + $75 shipping—a bargain to any enthusiast who’s been coveting a watch strap bearing the website’s stamp.
Among the conditions noted the seller assures, “At least forty percent more life left in them (give or take). All have a couple extra holes made (sometimes on hot, muggy days my wrists expand but not enough to go into the next hole so I had to make some custom adjustments). Typical wrist smell and salt-sweat marks on the inside are to be expected. Discoloration where it’s been bent against the tang buckle is normal. Minor fraying along thread but this is also normal—a shoe repair guy can fix for nothing. The two crocodile straps were originally glossy but now they’ve got a matte texture (matte ones actually cost more on their website).”
While WatchHead1775 has done their due diligence to “scrape off most of the wrist cheese” they wish to highlight, “What you see is what you get. No low-balling. No returns! Looking to save up for some new ones because I’m not a huge fan of the distressed look.”
At the time of this post, no serious offers have been considered.
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2020.09.21 06:59 Janejanet Cheap sex cameras

I’d like to share some experience, ideas, and tips I’ve put together after about 19 years of dominating my sissies. This is all my personal experience, so it won’t apply to everyone . Firstly, I need to share that we aren’t in a 24/7 Domme-sub relationship. That doesn’t interest me or my BF. My BF came to me about 4 ½ years ago and confessed some of his desires for femdom sex, and I decided to entertain it with him. It’s been a lot of fun, but I’m not making it a “lifestyle”, although we do have some “extended” sessions, which I’ll detail later in this post. Its something we do for fun in the bedroom (well, not always in the bedroom). We still have frequent “vanilla” sex, he’s actually quite good at it. :) That being said, I’m not here to pass judgement on anyone else, or pretend to be an expert on the subject of BDSM. My current BF is the only person I’ve played with like this, but we’ve learned a lot about femdom by experimenting, reading, and talking to each other. A good portion of these ideas and suggestions were his idea, and many are mine. Some may think that this is topping from the bottom, but I don’t take it too seriously. This is all just in good fun for us. Also, even though I talk about some of the stuff below being “forced”, that’s not to imply he hasn’t consented. We always have a safeword, and we discuss generalities before we decide on trying something new (although I do definitely surprise him with new activities to push his limits). Also, keep safety in mind with any activity. Not all of this is safe for every couple or every person. So, with all that out of the way, lets get to it! I approach femdom by classifying activities into 4 categories, then I put them together for an experience. The categories I use are: Degradation/Humiliation, Pain and Control, Frustration/Teasing, and Service. I’ll go over activities in each then describe how I put them together. DEGRADATION/HUMILIATION
This is a very fun category and can include a lot of different things. Here’s a list of activities that I enjoy inflicting on him. Forced feminization - I frequently make him wear women’s clothing during our sessions. This can include lots of different outfits. Feel free to mix and match to your taste. Amazon is great for getting lingerie on a budget. I like to go with really girly colors and patterns for my guy. My favorites are:
High heels. These are an absolute necessity. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on these, but you might want more than one pair if you insist his outfits match.
Lingerie. This can include teddies, stockings, babydoll, fishnet dresses, etc.
Just a pair of panties. This makes him feel very exposed. I like ones that ride up his little butt (cheekies, thongs), but still cover his entire penis. Don’t let him wear anything else.
Pasties. This is very, very fun. Pasties are cheap, and not something you ever see a man wearing. A pair of high heels, pink thong, and some pasties is great outfit for him to wear while he cleans the bathroom for you.
Schoolgirl outfit. This is a classic, and can lead to some incredible role-playing situations. The skirt should be short enough you can see his little white panties peeking out without even bending over.
French Maid. Another classic, useful for the Service category I’ll go into later.
Makeup. This is a favorite activity. I love giving him a makeover. Super slutty makeup is the best and can be combined with any outfit.
Tight jeans, yoga pants, leggings. Pair these with a skin tight top and you’ve got a great outfit for lounging around the house.
Short shorts. These can be cut off jean type shorts, yoga style shorts, or anything you like. The shorter the better.
Corset. Use this to give him a girlish figure!
Women’s bodystocking. These are hilarious. They come in all kinds of patterns and colors, and are really cheap.
Halloween costumes. Great for any time of year! Amazon has cheap playboy bunny outfits, tinkerbell costumes, sexy nurse, etc. There are so many to choose from!
Pegging/dildo play - This falls into the pain category as well depending on your mood. I really feel that in order to make this act as degrading as possible, its important to get a dildo that looks and feels like a real penis. It should have balls and be a realistic skin tone. It should also be at least slightly bigger than his own penis (within reason). A big aspect that makes pegging so humiliating is the mental side to it. Obviously, there’s some physical to it as well, but just being forced to “deal” with a dick is mortifying to most straight men. Some activities involving your strapon or dildo:
Deepthroat training. Let’s eliminate that gag reflex ladies! Seriously one of the most degrading things you can do to your man is fucking his face. I like to recreate positions from porn in this activity. Relax on the couch or chair while wearing your strapon. Put him on his knees and make him get to work. If he’s not going deep enough grab his hair and force his face down on that dick! Trust me, he can take it. Don’t be gentle. Make sure he maintains eye contact like a good little porn star! I also like to have him lay on his back on the bed or couch, with his head hanging over the side and cram my dick down his throat. Do this until he gags, over and over, he’ll be drooling all over himself soon enough. Have him lie down on his back, then straddle his upper chest/neck area so the only thing you can see is his face. Put your dildo in his mouth and jackhammer that thing down his throat. Don’t be scared of hurting him, even if your dildo is on the large side of realistic. he’ll eventually be able to take it balls deep. He might complain that it doesn’t fit. Well, its your job to MAKE it fit. Yes he’s going to cough and gag, a lot, yes he’s going to have a lot of drool and mucus coming out of his mouth. That’s OK. Don’t be deterred by any sounds, drool, or complaints. Also give him instructions and compliments when appropriate (“yeah, show me your tongue” “hands behind your back and open wide bitch” “give me that throat” “that’s a good little cocksucker”)
EDIT: I’ve received several questions about this point. I’ll clarify exactly what were doing here and why. When I make him suck my dildo, I’m not getting any physical pleasure out of it and neither is he. This is not meant to be physically pleasurable to us, it’s meant to make him feel like my bitch. When you do this, make it an ordeal he needs to suffer through. When he’s on his knees in front of you, fuck his mouth hard and fast. Really make an effort to get your entire dildo down his throat as you thrust in and out. Make him suffer here for quite some time, 5, 10, 15 minutes even. Don’t let him get away with pulling his head away or anything either. Make him keep your dick in his mouth, see how long you can keep it buried balls deep in his mouth, lock your legs around his head if necessary. His jaw and throat should be very sore after this ordeal, and his face should be a mess of slobber and spit. Once he can take your whole dildo down his throat without gagging, its time to upgrade to something longer and/or thicker. Your goal should be to have him performing at THIS LEVEL and he won’t get there without proper training.
Butt fucking. Work up to this using your fingers, plugs (he should wear a large sized one for a while before a pegging session), and other toys, but eventually your goal should be forceful pounding. Make him feel what its like to really get fucked. While pegging him, yank his hair, push his face down into the bed or floor, slap his ass. Be creative with positions and locations. One of my favorites is the tile kitchen floor, he doesn’t have to be comfortable while getting fucked. Use lots and lots of lube here, it makes getting your dick in a lot easier on both of you.
Dildo masturbation. Make him suck and fuck himself with a dildo or other toys for your amusement. This one can be done with very minimal effort on your part. Just give him a toy, order him to the corner, and tell him to get it up his ass.
Using other objects to fuck him with. This can be a lot of fun, but be careful. Some items I’ve fucked him with: Beer bottle, drumsticks, vodka bottle,
Forced Nudity - This one is simple, but you can spice it up with toys if you like. Simply order him to be naked while you remain clothed. If you like, make him wear a butt plug that you can smack and wiggle around while he gets you a drink. Put a collar on him if you want, or combine this with forced feminization from above (for example make him wear only high heels, lipstick, and a chastity cage for the evening). Sometimes its fun to combine this with pegging. I’ll strap my dick on over my jeans, while he’s completely naked. Its a very humbling experience for him. I also frequently have him sleep naked.
Forced Performances. This is very entertaining and again a low-effort humiliation. Sometimes I like to put on some music and have him dance for me. I’ll make him perform a little strip tease, twerk, etc. Sometimes I will have him masturbate for me. I’ll give directions. (these are great times for video recording)
Spitting. We’re getting a little more extreme here. Don’t be afraid to spit on your male. This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training. While he’s making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face. He’ll love you for it! It can also be degrading while you’re criticizing his performance to spit in his face.
Golden showers. We haven’t worked our way up to here yet, and to be honest, I don’t know if I want to. Something we have tried in this area though, making him lick me clean after I take a piss.
Verbal humiliation (Disclaimer: Talk to your partner about this first if you’re worried about crossing a line with him, because this can be emotionally charged.) I really like this, and to me, there are two components. 1. You degrading him with words. 2. Making him degrade himself with words.
1 You degrading him. Name calling. Call him degrading names. This can include the following: Bitch, sissy, cunt, slut, whore, piece of shit, stupid, worthless. Penis humiliation/emasculation. This is common on femdom porn sites. Make fun of the size of his dick, his sexual ability, the things he lets you do to him, etc. Terms like shrimp-dick, bitch boy, butt boy, fuck-hole, cum eater, cum dumpster, cocksucker, limp dick. etc.
Combine insults. Example: “You’re a little limp dick cocksucker.” “You’re a little cum eating bitch, aren’t you?”
Being forceful and insulting with your directions. Example: Instead of saying “get on your knees and suck my dick”, say “Get on your fucking knees and get this dick down your throat you little bitch.” Instead of using his name and telling him to bend over the kitchen table for his pegging, say something like, “Hey shrimp-dick! Get in here, bend over the table and get fucked.” Instead of saying come here and lick my pussy say “get over here and make me cum you little piece of shit”. Tell him what you’re going to do to him later. Send him a text letting him know you’re going to make him eat your pussy and send him away hard and frustrated. Order him to do things for you. *MOST IMPORTANTLY: Don’t be afraid to raise your voice, or even yell. Its encouraged in this situation that you will be very forceful with your voice. Yell in his face if he isn’t licking your pussy correctly. Yell in his face after you cum and tell him to get the fuck off the bed and do the dishes.

  1. Making him degrade himself. This can be really fun.
Make him beg. Use this for anything, make him beg to fuck you, beg you to peg him, beg you to let him masturbate, beg you to let him eat his cum, beg you to spank him, etc. It doesn’t even have to be something he wants. The key to this though, is to make sure his begging meets your standards. If you don’t believe he really wants it, punish him and make him try again, and again until you really believe him.
Make him apologize. Maybe the orgasm he gave you was mediocre. Maybe he didn’t take your dildo up his ass with enough enthusiasm. Maybe when you told him to deepthroat your strapon, he couldn’t get his nose to touch your stomach like you insisted. He should be punished for such infractions, but he should also tell you how sorry he is first. (maybe after his punishment too.) Make sure he apologizes sincerely for any shortcomings. Shit, sometimes I make him apologize for having a small dick (even though he doesn’t).
Make him thank you. Did you let him have an orgasm? Did you fuck his little butthole really well? Did you let him lick your asshole? He needs to thank you for the privlege.
Make him confess. Make him tell you his fantasies. This works especially well if you have him on the edge of orgasm. Make him confess a deep, dark fantasy that he’s never told anyone before. (He’ll probably run out of ideas at some point, you can punish him for that)
Public Play. There are some really fun ways you can take this play out of the house for some really great humiliation that doesn’t involve violating other people boundaries.
Clothes shopping. I enjoy taking him to stores, wal-mart, target, etc. and picking out some really girly panties and outfits for him to wear. If there isn’t anyone around, I’ll occasionally make him go try them on in the dressing room.
Wearing plugs or other toys in public.
And finally, for one of the most humiliating things a man can ever do……
Swallowing cum and/or getting a facial. He fucking hates this, which is why I love it. Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, he’s eating it or its going on his face. I don’t care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesn’t want to. That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat. There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it. Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that he’s going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums he’s absolutely repulsed by it. Some of my favorite ways to do this are:
Make him cum into a condom, then empty it into his mouth.
Make him have a ruined orgasm (I’ll explain later) onto the tile or hardwood floor. Then make him lick it up. If he resists, shove his face in it. If you have carpet, that isn’t a problem. Make him suck the cum out of it until its all gone.
If you let him cum inside you or on you, make him suck the cum out of you or lick it off of you.
While he’s wearing a pair of panties, rub his dick until he cums in them. Then peel them off and make him lick it out, or smear them all over his face.
Flip his legs over his head into the piledriver position (good for pegging also) and make him shoot his load all over his own face. This is a favorite of mine, simply because of the role reversal mind fuck going on in his head. I also like making him leave the jizz on his face for the rest of the day.
Make him cum into a glass and then pour it into his mouth, or pour it all over his face and/or hair.
However he gets the cum into his mouth, occasionally I’ll have him “play” with it. Gargle it, show it to me on his tongue, drool it out and then suck it back up like a porn star.
EDIT: Ladies, he’s going to be much more compliant with eating his semen if he has had a ruined orgasm instead of a pleasurable one. I mention this below but I’ll go into some more detail here. When your man has an orgasm his sexual desire drops off a cliff. He won’t want to eat his cum and will resist. But if you give him a ruined orgasm, he doesn’t get much pleasure at all, and his sexual desire remains high, but he still can expel a good amount of sperm. The goal here is to make his semen come out of his dick without pleasure, but for most men, the pleasure and orgasm actually begins several seconds before he ejaculates. So I like to have fun with this. With him on his knees and his hands restrained I’ll stroke his dick until he gets very close to orgasm, and then when I think hes right on the edge, I’ll let go and watch. I’ll wait about 20 seconds and if no semen comes out, start again. If you’ve done this perfectly, his semen will leak out about 10-15 seconds AFTER you stopped stroking it. He’ll be left sexually frustrated, but you actually DID give him an orgasm, its not your fault he didn’t feel it! He’ll be much more compliant in regards to consuming semen in this way. I like to combine this with chastity sometimes too. I’ll have him locked in the cage for a few days, give him a ruined orgasm and then put him back in. Its wonderful!
ADDED HUMILIATION BONUS!
For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions. I keep these and then use them later for addiitonal humiliaiton. Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strapon well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini top….well that’s just good entertainment. Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him. It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha.
PAIN AND CONTROL
DISCLAIMER: It seems online, many people are nervous about this category, and with good reason. Its sometimes hard to tell what your partner is comfortable with, and they may not even be sure of it themselves. So take all of this slowly at first until you and your partner can figure out what works for you. That being said, I seek to push right up against my boyfriend’s limits here. This is where the “forced” part of the humiliation listed above becomes more real.
There are several ways to inflict some pain on your male, here are some of my favorites. Face slapping. I really enjoy this. Nothing gets his attention so quickly as a pop to the side of his cheek. Several (5-6) in quick succession create a look of fear in his face that I love. He can take a lot of punishment here too, just watch out for his eyes and ears. This is an especially good thing to practice while you’re fucking his face or he’s licking your pussy and/or ass. Use your slaps to get his attention, give direction, and have fun. “I slap told slap you slap to slapfocus slap on slap my slap clit!! slap”
Hair Pulling. Grab his hair and yank his head around. Do this while pegging (in any position), while he’s giving you oral (or sucking your dildo), to lead him where you want him, to hold his head in place while you slap him, to force his face into a puddle of semen, etc.
Spanking/whipping. The most common. I like to use a belt, flogger, occasionally a cane.
Cock and Ball Torture. Another common theme on femdom websites. Here’s a list of techniques I use.
Squeezing/Pinching. Grab his balls and squeeze. Pinch the head of his dick.
Slapping. Simple. To make it hurt worse, you can grab his balls into one hand and hold them tight and steady while you slap.
Punching. Same as above but creates a lot more pain. :)
Kicking. Kicking him right in the balls after you just fucked his ass can be quite the experience for both of you. Take this one more slowly haha.
Nipple Play. Most people know about this already. Use clamps, clothespins, pinches, flicks, twists, and scrapes to inflict some pain here. He can take more than you think.
Chemical Play. Ok, we’re getting to some more extreme areas here again. This is not to be taken lightly, as many people’s bodies react differently. Here’s a list of things we’ve tried.
Ice cubes. Rub on his penis, balls, asshole, and nipples. This can sometimes eliminate a pesky erection in a pinch. I’ve inserted cubes into his anus as well, he doesn’t like that lol.
Ben-gay/Icy Hot. Rub this on the penis balls, taint, and anus. This creates a very unpleasant burning sensation. My pet feels very intense pain for about 10-20 minutes. It then subsides to a mild cooling sensation.
Tabasco/hot sauce. Same as above, rub on genitals and asshole. Your man’s experience will vary here depending on the type of sauce you use, the duration you leave it on, and the amount you use. I reserve this for serious punishment. I once poured some hot sauce on the dildo I fucked him with. Let’s just say he didn’t have a great night.
Electricity. You need to be even more careful here. My only experience is a dog shock collar. I attach the collar around his penis and testicles. It has a vibrate function (for when he’s been a good boy) and 8 levels of shocks. We’ve gotten up to level 6. He really hopes I don’t have to use 7 or 8 on him. You can experiment with the position of the collar on his genitals. If the contacts are touching his balls, he’ll feel it throughout his sack and his perineum. If you flip it over and the contacts touch the base of his penis, shocking sensations will affect his entire penis, all the way to the head. We’ve experimented with different levels here, and it seems his penis is much more sensitive to electricity than his balls are. Your man’s experience may vary. This collar also has a sound/beeping function that I use as a pager when I need him. If his balls beep, he has 10 seconds to be on his knees in front of me, regardless of his prior activity, or else he’ll face punishment.
Bondage and Restraints. I keep this simple as I don’t enjoy taking the time to set up intricate bondage situations. I’m sure my BF would like it, but its just too much effort when I can use simpler items to accomplish the same things. I own a few types of gags, a collar and leash, handcuffs, bed restraint system and, my favorite, a spreader bar (bar with cuffs for hands and feet).
Control. A lot of the more severe pain and control items above are essentially just a method to get my guy to do what he’s told. This is where the “forced” aspect really comes into play. For example, he absolutely hates eating sperm. But if I want him to eat sperm, he’s going to fucking eat it. So I use pain to get him to do it. One way I do this is with the electric dog collar and handcuffs. After he cums, and there’s a load of sperm sitting there on the floor, I give him a choice. Either put your face on it and suck up all that lovely sperm, or, get shocked in increasing intervals and strength. Eventually he’ll do it. This is an area where we’ve both agreed that he doesn’t get a choice any longer. He submits to being forced to lick his jizz off the floor.
Another example is dildo play. If i instruct him to deepthroat my strapon, and get the entire 7 inches down his throat while maintaining eye contact, that’s his job to do. If he doesn’t, I inflict pain. For example, I might start by slapping his face as a warning if he’s disobeying, increasing the strength and quantity of the slaps as I try to work the dildo down his throat. If that doesn’t work, I move on to other means. I may whip him with the belt, or punch his balls a few times then give him another chance. I increase the pain until he obeys. Its really fun to give him tasks that are hard to acheive. I also use pain as punsihment for failure. If he can’t make me orgasm in a certain time period, or its less pleasurable than what I expected, I may attach the spreader bar to his ankles and wrists, gag him, slather his cock and balls with ben-gay, and then go have a glass of wine while he contemplates how he can improve his performance next time.
This doesn’t mean I need a reason to hurt my toy. When we’re playing, I may slap him for fun or for no reason at all. If he’s getting pegged, he should expect to get popped in the face a few times just because I fucking feel like it. Maybe I’ll kick his little blue balls afterwards while he’s still on all fours on the kitchen floor, just because I want to be a bitch.
FRUSTRATION/TEASING
This is really quite simple. When we’re playing, I cum when I want, he cums when he’s allowed to. I enjoy making him suffer in this way, its honestly the most fun part of all this. There are a lot of ways I enjoy teasing and frustrating him and I’ll go over some of them now. There is one hard and fast rule in this game for us. He must always ask permission to ejaculate, no exceptions. He’ll be punished severely for an unauthorized orgasm or ejaculation.
Chastity. This is a must for us. While we don’t play 24/7, I enjoy making him wear a chastity device frequently when we’re apart. I work nights, so if I’m at work, chances are he’s locked into “The Vice”. This is a locking chastity cage, similar to others, only this one has an anti-pullout mechanism that makes it very difficult to remove without the key. Basically “The Vice” (available at www.lockedinlust.com ) is a plastic sheath for his dick that attaches to a ring around the base of his balls. It prevents erections and masturbation very well for the price. I don’t want my man’s dick mangled by a piercing for this game we play, and some of the other devices out there require that to be secure. The Vice keeps it secure and out of his (or anyone else’s) hands. Its so empowering to be able to restrict access to his own dick. I have the power to grant him erections and orgasms, he can’t have them without me or my approval. The length of time he wears the device really changes, but is up to me. I usually don’t keep him in it for more than a couple days, but we’ve had times that I left him in there for over 3 weeks. He really wasn’t happy about the time I had to leave town for 4 days and took the key with me, AFTER he’d been locked up for a week already.
There are a log of fun chastity games you can find online. Some fun chastity games we play:
Try to cum. I enjoy leaving the device on him, and tell him to try to have an orgasm with it on (no vibrator allowed!). Its fucking entertaining to see him hump his hand, finger his asshole, shake the cage around, pinch his own nipples, etc. I like to offer some cheering words of encouragement here for him. Usually I have him do this on the floor in the middle of the living room while I sit on the couch and watch. He hasn’t been able to cum yet, but maybe one day he’ll get there. (Another great video opportunity)
Coin flip. If he’s been locked up for several days, I’ll strap him to the bed or handcuff him to remove the device. Then I’ll start stroking his dick until he’s very close to orgasm, right on the edge. Then I flip a coin, heads I finish him off. Tails, I immediately stop, put an ice pack on his dick and lock him back up once he’s soft again. Better luck next time honey.
Roll of the dice. If he rolls a six, he gets to cum. If not, that’s the number of days he stays locked up until he gets another chance. This went on for over 3 weeks for us at one point. He was really on edge lol.
Chastity can also play into the control aspect as well. Sometimes when we play I don’t take the cage off. For example, he doesn’t need an erection to get fucked in his ass or to use my dildo and vibrator on my pussy, so why take it off? If he starts giving me a bad attitude, I’ll simply add another day or two to his lockup time. I use this as punishment for disobedience when playing, so it gives me more control.
One of the big things you’ll notice if you start incorporating chastity into your sex life, is that he will become more and more agreeable and obedient as time goes on, if you restrict his orgasms. If we’re playing with chastity more seriously, I like to make him wait 1 to 2 weeks between orgasms. He has a high sex drive, so when I do this, he gets so horny he’ll do anything to get out of his chastity cage. Its really entertaining to see what I can get him to do. Once, after 13 days locked into the Vice, I insisted he detail my car if he wanted out of the device. He whined and complained, so I told him that he just earned himself another 3 days in the device, and I still expected the car detailed.
The MOST IMPORTANT thing when incorporating chastity into your sex life is this. SAY NO. Don’t be swayed by his begging, whining, or complaining. Firstly lets get this out of the way, no one NEEDS to have an orgasm. He wants to cum, he doesn’t need to. So lets get that little idea out of the way immediately. We have a rule, when he’s locked up, he gets to politely ask for an orgasm once per day. If I feel like it, I’ll have him earnestly beg me. This is great for extracting promises from him. But if I say no, he needs to shut the fuck up about it immediately. Occasionally I’ll say yes, but most of the time I’ll say no as I’ve already decided on how long he’s going to be locked up. Do not feel bad about this. In fact, relish your power here.
I get off on having him go down on me right after I tell him “No, you’re staying locked up.” While we both agreed to incorporate chastity devices into our sex life, the lockup duration is my decision alone. Use the device to modify his behavior to your liking. If you want something from him, sexual or not, give him the order. If he doesn’t comply, add time in the device. The power is intoxicating.
Teasing. Sometimes he wears The Vice around the house, sometimes not. But regardless I like to wear skimpy clothing, rub up against him, feel and squeeze his balls, ass cheeks, and body just to see him get a boner (or try to, hehe). I’ll take this a lot further sometimes, stroking his dick until he starts leaking precum, getting him close to orgasm, only to stop and tell him to calm down. Sometimes I even let him fuck me until I have an orgasm or two, then tell him to stop. This is delightfully frustrating for him. Other times I’ll leave him in the chastity cage and masturbate right in front of him. One of my favorite teases is to use his mouth to make me cum and send him away completely denied. Sometimes I tell him I’m going to make him cum, only to stop at the last second and tell him I changed my mind.
Ruined Orgasm. By far the funniest aspect to this whole femdom thing. Its really an artform. The basic idea is that you get your man very, very close to the point of orgasm and then stop all stimulation. If you do it right, he’ll just tip over the edge, and his semen will dribble out of his dick with barely any force, and next to no pleasure. This works best with his hands restrained so he can’t try to finish the job himself. I like to pair this sometimes with the shock collar to make it completely miserable.
SERVICE
So now we get to the fun part. A lot of the above is playing into my man’s fetish, and that’s ok. I do love him, and I don’t have a problem doing stuff for his enjoyment. But you can be sure I’m going to be getting something out of all this! A big part of femdom is serving the woman in the relationship. And I’ll detail how that all works for us now.
Sexual Service. This encompasses everything. If I want my ass eaten out for 2 hours while I watch TV, he does it. If I want a full body massage from a muscled, naked man, that’s what I get. If I want to fuck and get off two or three times, I get that. If I want my nipples sucked while I use my vibrator on myself, that’s what I get. Nothing is off limits to me sexually. I speak, he obeys. That’s just how it goes. I typically don’t orgasm from oral sex alone or penetrative sex alone, and sometimes it can take quite a while for me to get there. The point is, I get what I want. Not that I want him eating my ass for 2 hours necessarily, but I’ll make him do something like that sometimes just because I can. (Then sometimes make fun of him for it.)
Facesitting. I love sitting on his face. Its a great experience to cum all over his face. Sometimes I use just his tongue, while other times I’ll shove a dildo in his mouth and ride it while using my vibrator. I also have a gag that has a dildo sticking out of it. Whatever I’m using, its important that I’m only concerned with my own pleasure during this experience. Don’t worry about whether or not he’s able to breathe, if his tongue is tired, if his neck hurts, etc. In fact, its quite enjoyable to put him in intentionally uncomfortable positions for this. We have a hard wooden chair that I like to use for this. He’ll be required to sit on the floor and lean his head back onto the seat of the chair. This hurts his neck and head when I really start riding and bouncing on it, but who gives a fuck? He needs to focus on my orgasm, not his temporary discomfort.
As part of the sexual service aspect of femdom in our sex life, we’ve decided that he no longer decides when and where he gets to orgasm, when and where I get to orgasm, and he doesn’t decide on when or where any other sexual activity takes place. That’s up to me now. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t initiate sex any longer, far from it. But it does mean he doesn’t get to complain, and he doesn’t get to turn me down when I want it either.
The goal of sexual service is two-fold. One, for you to get all the pleasure you want. Two, for him to feel completely objectified. When you are using him sexually, think of him as just another sex toy, a dildo that you can use up and throw away when you are finished.
But this isn’t limited to sexual service only.
Domestic Service. Basics. When we’re in femdom mode, he does the chores. All of them. We get to spice up mundane things like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming in easy ways. For example, if the dishes need washed, and the kitchen mopped, I tell my bitch to get his maid outfit and shock collar on and bring me the large butt plug. While he gets dressed I may watch TV, text friends, do some shopping online, or anything else I want. When he’s ready, he lubes up the plug and I put it up his tight little ass. He then goes off to do whatever I’ve told him to do while I relax. After he’s done I may or may not inspect his work, if he did a good job then he may get a reward. His reward may be the privilege of kissing my asshole for example. If its not up to par he may get punished. This can be implemented immediately, or added to a play session later. If you are going to go this route though, I would suggest using punishments he really wants to avoid (extended chastity time, severe spankings, etc.) or else you may find him purposefully messing up in order to get some “punishment” he wants.
This applies to any chore we need completed. My laundry, dishes, car washes, lawn mowing (its funny seeing him on a riding mower when I know there’s a plug up his ass), cooking, etc.
Personal Service. These are generally intimate things that I want done for me. They can really play up the tease element as well. Some examples:
Shave me. In the shower or bath, I like to have him shave my legs and pussy.
Toenails/pedicure. I pick the color, then he massages, moisturizes my feet. Then polishes my nails for me. He’s also responsible for removing any old polish from my nails.
Massage. Sometimes just a shoulder rub, other times I’ll be nude and he is required to give me a full body massage with oil. I like for him to be nude for this as well. It’s really torture for him to give me a few orgasms afterwards and stay denied.
Body worship. It can be really relaxing to have him kiss and nuzzle my thighs, feet nipples, and pussy. I especially enjoy having my asshole worshiped though. Just light kisses, licks and nuzzles. Basically he’s making out with my asshole. It’s a serious power trip to have him do this while I watch TV or play games on my phone, ignoring him except to give instructions if I want something done differently.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
I’ve outlined several ideas and topics here, and now I’ll give an example on how I’ve put all of it together. Remember when reading this, its all in fun, and it doesn’t necessarily have to make a lot of sense. Remember, if your guy is into femdom, he likes a lot of this kind of stuff already.
I like to choose something from each category when we play, just to round out the session. Not always, but frequently.
For one session I decided we were going to do some pegging, so before I got home I told him to get himself cleaned up, naked, and get a plug in. I got home about an hour later, so he’d been stretched out for a little while. I got home, grabbed him by the hair and dragged him into the garage. I told him to get on all fours in the middle of the floor and wait. He waited there for 20 minutes. I know he was scared, he’d never been fucked on the garage floor before. It wasn’t clean, and he was completely naked except for the plug in his ass.
I came in turned all the lights on and started taking pictures. I was already wearing the strapon. I made him smile for the camera, and pose for me. It looked like a really trashy photoshoot. I took several pictures in varioius positions and then I told him it was time to get busy.
I lubed up my cock, slowly pulled out the plug and got to work. I fucked him on the floor of the garage for about 5 minutes, eventually really pounding him. I pulled him up by his hair, bent him over the hood of my car and pounded some more. I insisted he fake an orgasm like a girl. It was reallly funny listening him attempt to moan and scream like a woman orgasming.
Once he was done, I pulled him around by the hair and spit directly into his face. I told him that was the worst fuck I’d ever had and told him to “go clean my fucking bathroom”. He stared at me dumbfounded, so I slapped him hard in his face and repeated it louder. He quickly scurried off to the master bath. About 5 minutes later I came in and threw the strapon and butt plug on the floor and told him to clean up my toys as well. When he came and reported that he was done, I went to inspect his work. It was spotless.
So I told him to get himself cleaned up and ready for bed. As a reward I let him go down on me for a while and then use my vibrator to give me an orgasm. He didn’t get to cum that night. (but we did cuddle and watch a movie)
There are many more ways you can mix and match categories, and many of them run together. For example, you can facefuck your man with your strapon, while you rub his dick. Once you’re satisfied he’s learned how to deepthroat, pull him off and make him beg for the privilege of masturbating in your presence. You can record this on video if you like, then, make him eat his own cum on video. The possibilities are endless! Again, I know a lot of this isn’t “authentic” if you’re doing it for your submissive partner, but that doesn’t really matter to me. What matters is that we’re having fun, and I get what I need out of it too. Dm if you need my training sessions.
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2020.09.14 19:30 Boop108 3 Sleazy Movies About Adam and Eve: A Comparison

This article is chock full of film stills. If you would like to see the illustrated version click here.
https://medium.com/@36toesproductions/3-sleazy-movies-about-adam-and-eve-a-comparison-c288e7628309?sk=a2e9e22b1f745ecb32958d972d5c5221
The story of Adam and Eve has been told and retold, interpreted, and analyzed but what the scripture and the analyses leave out is the juicy visuals. After all the loving couple was naked and unashamed. The following is a comparison of three movies about the biblical duo that do not shy away from “physicality” of their narrative, and if I hear any giggling, you are going straight to the principle’s office.
Adam and Eve: The First Love Story
This first film is Italian and let me say it is a lot harder to resist a snake when he is whispering in Italian, “Eva, perché non assaggiare il frutto più delizioso del paradiso.” It was directed by Enzo Doria and Luigi Russo in 1983. The film provides enough titillation for everyone. Eve is beautiful, Adam is boy-band dreamy and when he wrestles his muscular male rival (yes, there is a rival) they tussle in their skimpy loincloths for quite awhile. There’s romantic lovemaking to an Olivia Newton John sound-alike song. There’s frantic humping amidst the boulders, and there’s even some uncomfortably sensuous dog wrestling if that is what you’re into.
The first part of the film stays close to the source material but as soon as they leave the Garden things get wacky. Almost immediately they are attacked by a badly made pterodactyl. It seems to be made of papier-mâché. They tear it apart and use the wings for clothing. Next, come the grimy cannibals in imitation furs. After they attack, Eve asks “ Where did they come from?” Thus foreshadowing several millennia of confusion among Christian scholars and apologists. Later, The couple is beset by ogres and finally a man in a cheap bear costume. It’s a rough world outside the gated community of Eden.
As one might expect Eve is a bit flighty and gets herself into a lot of trouble.
Adam comes off as a stable and righteous young man with full lips and a six-pack. After the expulsion, the two of them are separated and wander around aimlessly. Eve cheats on Adam with a man from a tribe that covers themselves in green mud and run around grunting. Eve doesn’t seem to mind that he doesn’t speak Italian, so she washes him off and has him right there by the river.
As Adam wanders the earth it becomes clear, in a long montage of lonesome wide shots, that he is in the Grand Canyon. I’m guessing the directors of the film were not Mormon, but the Church of Later Day Saints could certainly use this film for educational purposes. To be fair the Mormons believe that the Garden of Eden was in Missouri so Adam would have to wander quite a ways to end up in Arizona.
Adam and Eve eventually reunite, stroll through Sequoia National Park and end up in the arctic somewhere. Maybe things were different with plate movement and Pangea and all that. They build an igloo and then suddenly grainy stock footage of glacial ice tumbling into the sea starts making them scream. They run around and end up on a sunny beach somewhere. Eve gives birth to Able, and the movie ends with the proud parents looking shaken but hopeful while Eve holds Able up to the sunrise.
The Sin of Adam and Eve
In the beginning, God created a lot of fuzzy stock footage of nature scenes. Then he dubbed in a solemn narrator reciting from Genesis. We are introduced to The Garden and find a very beefy Adam who is emerging from the dust. Adam springs to life and immediately takes a siesta (this is a Mexican production). His nap is marred by a nightmare in which he wrestles snakes and eagles and then it's over to stock footage of lions fighting, shrews eating worms, and ants killing each other. Adam awakes from his slumber and invents English or at least an English dub track to lay over the Spanish one. Then he watches grainy stock footage of a sunrise.
This film takes itself a bit more seriously than Adam and Eve: The First Love Story. This production, The Sin of Adam and Eve, was made in Mexico by Miguel Zacarías in 1969. Spanish Catholicism was always a bit more dire than the Italian version. Check out these two crosses, one from Italy one from Mexico.
Back in the Garden of Eden, Adam is introduced to Eve. He shows her around the place and then teaches her to eat a banana, but not the paper Ray Comfort way. If you are not familiar with Mr. Comfort he was the guy who famously proved the existence of God with a banana. He simply held up the phallic fruit and showed how perfectly it fit into his hand, how easily it was peeled, and how it already pointed toward his mouth. This, he claimed was proof not only of intelligent design but of God’s love. Apparently, Ray had never seen a pineapple.
Then Eve takes her siesta and sees stock footage of a vicious fight between two horses. The narrator then says that she wakes “half satisfied.” I’m not sure what he means but Eve seems to be way ahead of Adam. She is vain, manipulative and kind of horny before an apple is even mentioned.
There’s a lot of nonsensical sayings mixed in with the narrated Bible passages. As Eve holds Adam’s eyes open so she can see her own reflection in them, the narrator explains “Man begins by loving woman and ends by loving love. Woman begins by loving love and ends by loving man.”
After they are cast out of the garden it gets really boring. Adam and Eve are separated and they just wander around all muddy and forlorn yelling each other's name. Eventually, they find each and the movie ends.
It's not easy working with the Bible as source material. If you try to fit the story of Adam and Eve into a typical hero’s journey structure it doesn’t work very well. Imagine if a typical hero’s journey film like Harry Potter tried to incorporate the same structure as Genesis. Dumbledore tells Harry not to go into the Forbidden Forest. Harry goes in anyway and so Dumbledore expels Harry from Hogwarts and damns all humankind to an eternity of suffering, the end. It just doesn’t have the same appeal. The sequel would be where Harry and Ginny repopulate the earth with their progeny only to have Dumbledore wipe them all out in a worldwide flood.
Adam and The Six Eves
The last entry into this comparison avoids all these difficult plot points by seemly disregarding the source material entirely. The premise for this film, if you can call it a premise, or a film, is that a man named Adam is wandering through the desert looking for gold. He is accompanied by his wise crackin’ donkey who narrates the whole thing. Only the audience hears the narration and it is a nonstop onslaught of horrible one-liners. Folksy treasures like, “The only thing his head was good for was somethin’ to hang his face on.” Or “It was so hot that the gophers were goin’ around with their coats unbuttoned” Some of them were just strange, “He didn’t get that fat from eatin’ he must of run into the wind with a funnel in his mouth.”
This is actually part of a nudie cutie staple. For the uninitiated, a “nudie cutie” is a softer version of the soft-core sexploitation genre. There’s no sex in a “nudie cutie” just lots of nude ladies prancing around to a paper-thin plot. My personal favorite of the genre is Nude On The Moon from 1961 where astronauts find a beautiful country club full of happy naked moon-people who happen to be identical to humans, well some humans, young California humans, with some silicone thrown in. Basically, the “nudie cutie” films were glorified stripteases. Ed Wood made one where each stripper was a zombie performing an interpretive dance about how she died, great stuff.
Without a plot some of these sort of films incorporated Z-list comedians doing stand up to fill in for the lack of a script. The question here is whether you prefer the donkey’s jokes like “We should have named him Sputnick since he was always running in circles” or silence.
So what does all this have to do with Adam and Eve? Not much, until a strange sort of subtext starts to surface. While wandering in the desert Adam stumbles across an oasis inhabited by six scantily clad beauties. The donkey comments, “I don't know who designed their outfits, but he should have been put in charge of government spending."
They dance for Adam and feed him dates but he is torn between them and the gold. Adam seems to have an almost childlike innocence. He watches the girls tempting dances but just smiles. He makes no advances. He watches for a while and then renews his search for the gold. Again the Donkey comments, “What got me mad was the way Adam would quit work to chase the girls but then when he caught them he forgot what he was chasin’ them for.”
It's a curious reworking of Genesis. Adam is distracted from temptation by another temptation. Will it be sex or money? Lust or loot? One by one each woman tries to seduce him but while he smiles and enjoys their beauty, he just giggles and waves. Could it be a meditation on the impotence of capitalism where the desire for human connection is subverted by greed? Seems doubtful, but for all its puerile stupidity Adam and the Six Eves manages to stumble onto larger issues.
The “film was made by John Wallis in 1962. The original was in 3D which explains the close-up shots of boobs that lean into the camera.
The sexual politics of the three films is a little more varied than one might expect. As for the male gaze in the first two films, it is certainly present but the naked and eroticized body of Adam is given equal time on screen. The narratives presented by the first two contain the same misogyny as the original text. Eve is a maladjusted, immature, woman who is poor Adam’s downfall. However in the last film, even with a hefty dose of the male gaze, Adam is depicted as a fool unable to keep up with the cunning wisdom of the Eves. Adam is the alienated every-man unable to navigate a pornographic society that offers him conflicting modes of gratification but nothing of substance. He is so beset by the illusion of plenty generated by society he is stupefied into inaction. Its the stupidest of all three films but Adam And The Six Eves resonates with modern economics and social theory in a way that the other two films do not.
If the producers of these films wanted to really titillate their audiences, the next section of the Bible could have easily been made into raging, XXX, porn, sequel. Its page after page of begetting. “Come see Mahalaleel beget Sarah in more ways than one! Hold on tight while Enoch and Lamech steam up the garden!”
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2020.09.14 19:29 Boop108 Cheap sex cameras

This article is chock full of film stills. If you would like to see the illustrated version click here.
https://medium.com/@36toesproductions/3-sleazy-movies-about-adam-and-eve-a-comparison-c288e7628309?sk=a2e9e22b1f745ecb32958d972d5c5221
The story of Adam and Eve has been told and retold, interpreted, and analyzed but what the scripture and the analyses leave out is the juicy visuals. After all the loving couple was naked and unashamed. The following is a comparison of three movies about the biblical duo that do not shy away from “physicality” of their narrative, and if I hear any giggling, you are going straight to the principle’s office.
Adam and Eve: The First Love Story
This first film is Italian and let me say it is a lot harder to resist a snake when he is whispering in Italian, “Eva, perché non assaggiare il frutto più delizioso del paradiso.” It was directed by Enzo Doria and Luigi Russo in 1983. The film provides enough titillation for everyone. Eve is beautiful, Adam is boy-band dreamy and when he wrestles his muscular male rival (yes, there is a rival) they tussle in their skimpy loincloths for quite awhile. There’s romantic lovemaking to an Olivia Newton John sound-alike song. There’s frantic humping amidst the boulders, and there’s even some uncomfortably sensuous dog wrestling if that is what you’re into.
The first part of the film stays close to the source material but as soon as they leave the Garden things get wacky. Almost immediately they are attacked by a badly made pterodactyl. It seems to be made of papier-mâché. They tear it apart and use the wings for clothing. Next, come the grimy cannibals in imitation furs. After they attack, Eve asks “ Where did they come from?” Thus foreshadowing several millennia of confusion among Christian scholars and apologists. Later, The couple is beset by ogres and finally a man in a cheap bear costume. It’s a rough world outside the gated community of Eden.
As one might expect Eve is a bit flighty and gets herself into a lot of trouble.
Adam comes off as a stable and righteous young man with full lips and a six-pack. After the expulsion, the two of them are separated and wander around aimlessly. Eve cheats on Adam with a man from a tribe that covers themselves in green mud and run around grunting. Eve doesn’t seem to mind that he doesn’t speak Italian, so she washes him off and has him right there by the river.
As Adam wanders the earth it becomes clear, in a long montage of lonesome wide shots, that he is in the Grand Canyon. I’m guessing the directors of the film were not Mormon, but the Church of Later Day Saints could certainly use this film for educational purposes. To be fair the Mormons believe that the Garden of Eden was in Missouri so Adam would have to wander quite a ways to end up in Arizona.
Adam and Eve eventually reunite, stroll through Sequoia National Park and end up in the arctic somewhere. Maybe things were different with plate movement and Pangea and all that. They build an igloo and then suddenly grainy stock footage of glacial ice tumbling into the sea starts making them scream. They run around and end up on a sunny beach somewhere. Eve gives birth to Able, and the movie ends with the proud parents looking shaken but hopeful while Eve holds Able up to the sunrise.
The Sin of Adam and Eve
In the beginning, God created a lot of fuzzy stock footage of nature scenes. Then he dubbed in a solemn narrator reciting from Genesis. We are introduced to The Garden and find a very beefy Adam who is emerging from the dust. Adam springs to life and immediately takes a siesta (this is a Mexican production). His nap is marred by a nightmare in which he wrestles snakes and eagles and then it's over to stock footage of lions fighting, shrews eating worms, and ants killing each other. Adam awakes from his slumber and invents English or at least an English dub track to lay over the Spanish one. Then he watches grainy stock footage of a sunrise.
This film takes itself a bit more seriously than Adam and Eve: The First Love Story. This production, The Sin of Adam and Eve, was made in Mexico by Miguel Zacarías in 1969. Spanish Catholicism was always a bit more dire than the Italian version. Check out these two crosses, one from Italy one from Mexico.
Back in the Garden of Eden, Adam is introduced to Eve. He shows her around the place and then teaches her to eat a banana, but not the paper Ray Comfort way. If you are not familiar with Mr. Comfort he was the guy who famously proved the existence of God with a banana. He simply held up the phallic fruit and showed how perfectly it fit into his hand, how easily it was peeled, and how it already pointed toward his mouth. This, he claimed was proof not only of intelligent design but of God’s love. Apparently, Ray had never seen a pineapple.
Then Eve takes her siesta and sees stock footage of a vicious fight between two horses. The narrator then says that she wakes “half satisfied.” I’m not sure what he means but Eve seems to be way ahead of Adam. She is vain, manipulative and kind of horny before an apple is even mentioned.
There’s a lot of nonsensical sayings mixed in with the narrated Bible passages. As Eve holds Adam’s eyes open so she can see her own reflection in them, the narrator explains “Man begins by loving woman and ends by loving love. Woman begins by loving love and ends by loving man.”
After they are cast out of the garden it gets really boring. Adam and Eve are separated and they just wander around all muddy and forlorn yelling each other's name. Eventually, they find each and the movie ends.
It's not easy working with the Bible as source material. If you try to fit the story of Adam and Eve into a typical hero’s journey structure it doesn’t work very well. Imagine if a typical hero’s journey film like Harry Potter tried to incorporate the same structure as Genesis. Dumbledore tells Harry not to go into the Forbidden Forest. Harry goes in anyway and so Dumbledore expels Harry from Hogwarts and damns all humankind to an eternity of suffering, the end. It just doesn’t have the same appeal. The sequel would be where Harry and Ginny repopulate the earth with their progeny only to have Dumbledore wipe them all out in a worldwide flood.
Adam and The Six Eves
The last entry into this comparison avoids all these difficult plot points by seemly disregarding the source material entirely. The premise for this film, if you can call it a premise, or a film, is that a man named Adam is wandering through the desert looking for gold. He is accompanied by his wise crackin’ donkey who narrates the whole thing. Only the audience hears the narration and it is a nonstop onslaught of horrible one-liners. Folksy treasures like, “The only thing his head was good for was somethin’ to hang his face on.” Or “It was so hot that the gophers were goin’ around with their coats unbuttoned” Some of them were just strange, “He didn’t get that fat from eatin’ he must of run into the wind with a funnel in his mouth.”
This is actually part of a nudie cutie staple. For the uninitiated, a “nudie cutie” is a softer version of the soft-core sexploitation genre. There’s no sex in a “nudie cutie” just lots of nude ladies prancing around to a paper-thin plot. My personal favorite of the genre is Nude On The Moon from 1961 where astronauts find a beautiful country club full of happy naked moon-people who happen to be identical to humans, well some humans, young California humans, with some silicone thrown in. Basically, the “nudie cutie” films were glorified stripteases. Ed Wood made one where each stripper was a zombie performing an interpretive dance about how she died, great stuff.
Without a plot some of these sort of films incorporated Z-list comedians doing stand up to fill in for the lack of a script. The question here is whether you prefer the donkey’s jokes like “We should have named him Sputnick since he was always running in circles” or silence.
So what does all this have to do with Adam and Eve? Not much, until a strange sort of subtext starts to surface. While wandering in the desert Adam stumbles across an oasis inhabited by six scantily clad beauties. The donkey comments, “I don't know who designed their outfits, but he should have been put in charge of government spending."
They dance for Adam and feed him dates but he is torn between them and the gold. Adam seems to have an almost childlike innocence. He watches the girls tempting dances but just smiles. He makes no advances. He watches for a while and then renews his search for the gold. Again the Donkey comments, “What got me mad was the way Adam would quit work to chase the girls but then when he caught them he forgot what he was chasin’ them for.”
It's a curious reworking of Genesis. Adam is distracted from temptation by another temptation. Will it be sex or money? Lust or loot? One by one each woman tries to seduce him but while he smiles and enjoys their beauty, he just giggles and waves. Could it be a meditation on the impotence of capitalism where the desire for human connection is subverted by greed? Seems doubtful, but for all its puerile stupidity Adam and the Six Eves manages to stumble onto larger issues.
The “film was made by John Wallis in 1962. The original was in 3D which explains the close-up shots of boobs that lean into the camera.
The sexual politics of the three films is a little more varied than one might expect. As for the male gaze in the first two films, it is certainly present but the naked and eroticized body of Adam is given equal time on screen. The narratives presented by the first two contain the same misogyny as the original text. Eve is a maladjusted, immature, woman who is poor Adam’s downfall. However in the last film, even with a hefty dose of the male gaze, Adam is depicted as a fool unable to keep up with the cunning wisdom of the Eves. Adam is the alienated every-man unable to navigate a pornographic society that offers him conflicting modes of gratification but nothing of substance. He is so beset by the illusion of plenty generated by society he is stupefied into inaction. Its the stupidest of all three films but Adam And The Six Eves resonates with modern economics and social theory in a way that the other two films do not.
If the producers of these films wanted to really titillate their audiences, the next section of the Bible could have easily been made into raging, XXX, porn, sequel. Its page after page of begetting. “Come see Mahalaleel beget Sarah in more ways than one! Hold on tight while Enoch and Lamech steam up the garden!”
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2020.09.11 00:52 zemimsky Cheap sex cameras

NO NOT on Netflix - Pirated online because d'uuuh!
Funny thought HOW people don't stress enough that not only does Amy come from a muslim background, she's a Fresh immigrant in a new country - in a new world, trying to adapt to her new surroundings, make new friends, fit in as best she can WITH the heart breaking news that her father has taken a second wife and how that affects her emotionally, to witness her mother's pain, feeling abandoned and probably betrayed.
Funny also how NO ONE ever mentions that Amy is simply a statistic of yet another child who IS FED influential shit through Mainstream Media ! She watches a music clip containing twerking - WHICH oh how funny - she didn't knew existed BEFORE she was ... introduced to it in a mainstream media clip, which made her aware of her body and how society in our present day and age value big fat butts.
Funny how parents can't even parent today and are so quick to jump to the bandwagon of let's cancel Netflix and let's cancel Cuties.
Amy REPRODUCES what she sees online because monkey see monkey do - children see - children do!
IF society at large has issues with kids being adultified and sexulialized premarturely, MAYBE, Just Maybe, they should consider toning down the serialization of performing idols, this is valid for K-Pop girl bands and the western world.
Amy, when in trouble with her group dance at some shooter arcade, uses what she just recently learned, dancing sexy, to get them off the hook of the security guard and manager because she has learned that a woman's sexual power over a male is her strongest asset. (Also, kudos to the security guard who remains a legitimate decent adult whilst his counterpart, the manager probably, does clearly enjoy and appreciate Amy's sexy dance to appease them both, being nothing more than an average fake societal man ruled by primitive lust - I mean who the fuck the needs morals when fresh meat is putting her ass and body in value for your enjoyment ?) Bravo. Again, just, Bravo !
The dance scene in short shorts and age-inappropriate clothing in general on the staircase is again, nothing more than monkey see, monkey do. The song used (although I don't know it) can easily let you guess that the choreography is not sweet and cute. The camera shots coming in close on the girls' bodies is uncomfortable BUT as a society, I think we are first degree responsible for that and this movie is showing us the ugliness reflected back at us. That's why we are so disgusted at it. We do NOT want to face the facts. IF you as the viewer have issues with the clothes the kids wear, MAYBE as a parent and as a consumer you should Counter the societal trend of short clothing by getting your child in MORE skin covering clothes, i dunno, just a suggestion. I have a 14 year old niece who wears clothes more responsibly and ONLY shows skin at home where she's safe and comfortable. Her parents did something right with her in teaching basic shit like cover yourself when you go out. And don't you foken come at me with the principle of "girls can wear what ever they want" to empower themselves. WOMEN not girls. In your magnificent collective free rights for everyone to wear and do what everyone wants, you have already put children at the same level as adults and now that a movie reflects exactly that back at you, you as a collective, you freak the fuck out and call out for pedo-bait. Look at yourselves in the mirror - would do you some good.
The girls wearing bras and panties over their clothes while celebrating youth, euphoria and happiness (and their victory in having made it in the selection of a dancing contest) is simply their way to show solidarity towards Amy who got publicly humiliated at school during a brawl, at which point someone pulled her pants and revealed her underwear.
Amy is caught with the phone she stole from a man who has helped with packages earlier in the movie; the man wants her phone back and loud and clear says "Cut the crap, Amy!" and what does she do ? Takes off her hoddie, starts to unzip her pants - wanting to "buy" the man's silence and phone with her body because she just learned that a women's body is that powerful and useful. Again - WHO put that concept in her head ? I wonder who - not her mom for sure... not her friends either... Oh riiiight -- mainstream media, sex portrayed everywhere as a solution to everything. The man pushes her back, almost brutally and asks "What's wrong with you Amy!" Showing that some men still are respectable and are truly socially and morally evolved.
AND for the most absurd Reason what so ever : she takes a shot of her vagina and publishes it online, which has as a direct consequence, a classmate slapping her ass the next day during class. Because we teach, as a society, that a woman who shares her body in any way shape or form, is now magically available for touch and sex, available to claimed like a cheap whore.
Follows a fight with mother and a somewhat of an exorcism ritual with sprinkling of water and cultural holy chants WHICH then turns into Amy shaking moderately and then ... going into a transe and twerking. Because that is the demon that inhabits her body and soul. (Again a rather uncomfortable camera shot panning on her ass in -- forgot what the model is -- the shorts shorts type of underwear for girls (briefs ?) as she still violently shakes and twerks - out of breath as the ceremony progresses.
The consequences of Amy's actions reflect on the moral of the group of friends, but Amy is selfish, in her blissful ignorance I will assume, that shot being some act of rebellion, a spur of the moment folly that her immature brain and mind cannot fathom the consequences of.
What people do not realize is that Amy is having her life shattered, she doesn't know how to deal with her emotions (have to cook for father marrying a whole new woman, have to attend the ceremony, be a good girl, etc) and she finds an escape route in the adult serialized dance world. EVERY critic out there says : Amy is fascinated by a group of girls who dance. WHAT NO ONE SAYS is that AMY brought the twerking to the table!! The girls were having a perfectly OK (although a little osé dance routine before SHE incorporated what she saw on mainstream media and spiraled down into seemingly losing everything.
The harsh realization of the consequences of her acts hits Amy hard - because obviously children cannot comprehend how severe the consequences of stupidity and emotionally driven acts can be. And then comes the dreaded wedding day - implying that her father and the new wife will we be sleeping and living with them, under their roof, with the mother relegated to second rank. I can't shake off the memory of the movie description being "Amy becomes fascinated with a twerking dance group" BUT IF YOU WANT THE MOVIE YOU REALIZE THAT AMY BROUGHT TWERKING TO THE LIVES OF THESE GIRLS WHO DIDN'T KNOW EVEN LESS PRACTICE the twerk before on their own. I'm a pedantic asshole but i hate when facts get corrupted, The girls DID NOT corrupt Amy - AMY corrupted the girls with her taking in twerking from Mainstream media. During a scene when the girls were showing off their routines to judges to be qualified or not - some of the girls started doing the twerk but the leader - the Latina girl who lives in the same building as Amy Clearly stops them and asks them to stop and go back to their OLD NORMAL routine.
Twerking dance scene on stage in front of a mixed crowd.
Near the end of their routine, Amy has a realization of her wrong ways runs back home, in tears, to the arms of her mother. Amy learns (or is emotionally bombarded, although maybe she doesn't understand it fully) the consequences of being an adult as she watches her mother fully prepared in her richest attires to go attend the wedding of her husband with his second wife. (Just imagine that heart ache for both involved!)
Amy leaves behind her contest clothes, but also the gown her father has sent her for the event, wears more appropriate clothes and goes down her block, to end up in the streets in front of her building, enjoying the simpleness of childhood as she's invited to join a game of skipping rope. And Amy smiles, for the first time, genuinely happy.
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