Voyeur champs

2020.08.09 19:24 miniberger Voyeur champs

Sometimes mistakes happen, but how amazing are they when we have them from the view of the mistake maker, the victim, and a innocent bystander.... let us find out:
Maker(twitch.tv/oscarmayerman): https://clips.twitch.tv/ProtectiveCuriousTitanTheRinger Victim(twitch.tv/xminibergerx): https://clips.twitch.tv/SpeedyBrightScorpionCclamChamp
Voyeur(twitch.tv/gmybearwarrior): https://clips.twitch.tv/ReliableTallDonkeyBigBrother
AnubisRP, where all your nightmares can come true....and giggles ensue.
To join Anubis, head to our discord (https://discord.gg/5QpZq24) and apply. we are an 18+, onesync enabled, whitelisted server with 100s of opportunities. <3
submitted by miniberger to GTARP [link] [comments]


2020.08.09 19:22 miniberger Mistakes were made....

Sometimes mistakes happen, but how amazing are they when we have them from the view of the mistake maker, the victim, and a innocent bystander.... let us find out:
Maker(twitch.tv/oscarmayerman): https://clips.twitch.tv/ProtectiveCuriousTitanTheRinger Victim(twitch.tv/xminibergerx): https://clips.twitch.tv/SpeedyBrightScorpionCclamChamp
Voyeur(twitch.tv/gmybearwarrior): https://clips.twitch.tv/ReliableTallDonkeyBigBrother
AnubisRP, where all your nightmares can come true....and giggles ensue.
submitted by miniberger to GTARPTwitch [link] [comments]


2020.08.09 19:22 miniberger Voyeur champs

Sometimes mistakes happen, but how amazing are they when we have them from the view of the mistake maker, the victim, and a innocent bystander.... let us find out:
Maker(twitch.tv/oscarmayerman): https://clips.twitch.tv/ProtectiveCuriousTitanTheRinger Victim(twitch.tv/xminibergerx): https://clips.twitch.tv/SpeedyBrightScorpionCclamChamp
Voyeur(twitch.tv/gmybearwarrior): https://clips.twitch.tv/ReliableTallDonkeyBigBrother
AnubisRP, where all your nightmares can come true....and giggles ensue.
submitted by miniberger to GTARPclips [link] [comments]


2020.07.01 18:48 SabatonBabylon Voyeur champs

Book 1 of The HEL Jumper
Book 2 of The HEL Jumper
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Previous | First | Next | Patreon
Thanks to Tulip, Big_Papa_Dakky, Darth_Android, bloblob, AMERICUH, txgunman65, The_Real_Jumper, Mr_Polygon, Krystalin, Damned_Thrice, Mamish, Vikairious, Sam_Berry, ClarityAndVision, RedHawkdude, KillTech, LilLaussa, Daddy_Talon, Gruecifer, Gaelan_Darkwater, Konrahd_Verdammt, red-shirt, Benjamin Durbin, and 43 others supporting me on patreon.
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Akella's Daily Sketchbook 6/21-6/30
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Gerard Dupuis looked up from his terminal as the door to one of the Event Horizon’s many civilian laboratories slid open. This one in particular was a short trip from his cabin, and featured a suite of tools for working on microbiological experiments. Given that he was dealing with well contained Cauthan blood samples, all stashed away in isolated and sterile environments or centrifuges, he’d set the hatch protocols to allow guests feely. This one in particular was most pleasing to his eye as she rested against the bulkhead, cocking her matronly hip in a manner only the French were capable of.
“Ma chatounette, I promise I have put all my other experiments on hold to conduct our search for Cauthan pregnancy markers. Ah, that reminds me. Cassia, please make a note to reach out to the data technicians aboard the ship to ensure our protein modeling software is up to date. I suspect we will be modeling novel compounds shortly, to say nothing of the possibility of new amino acids.”
‘Yes, Dr. Dupuis.’
“Gerard, mon loup, you really think I came all this way just to nag you?” Yvonne chuckled, sauntering up to him and placing a heartfelt kiss on his lips, one he was happy to receive.
“It would not be the first time, Yvonne,” he pointed out slyly.
“Let it never be said I don’t give you what you deserve, mon amour.”
“And what, pray tell, are you here to give me right now?” Gerard inquired quietly. Yvonne threw a coy look his way, pulling their hips together for a moment before procuring her tablet.
“I just thought you might want to take a look at this,” she replied, pivoting and wrapping one arm around his slim middle so that they could both look at her screen. Displayed was a picture from the Maran surface, sent by Alice. Lachlan was presumably the photographer, as he was nowhere to be found. Instead, Alice and Russell formed the center of the portrait, surrounded by Veera, Xan, Asha, and other Cauthan they did not know by name or recognize. Natori was there as well, looking out of place but immensely pleased in his non-dress Admiral’s uniform. Two of the Jumpers were there as well, all of them dwarfed by an enormous skull that looked fresh from the wilds. Alice was smiling brighter than the planet’s star, and they could practically hear her voice as they read the caption she’d sent along with it.
Look what my brother killed!
“It is as though she is in the room with us,” Gerard chuckled, shaking his head as he took in the image as a whole. “To bring down something of that size? It certainly does not look to be an herbivore.”
“I seem to recall Alice giving me grief over imagining her brother as the hero of some dashing tale of survival and bravery. I shall have to remind her of this when we have dinner next. On that note however, we may have to postpone, Gerard. According to Alice the retrieval of this particular trophy seems to have sparked something of an impromptu celebration among the locals. She will be partaking, of course.”
“Can’t say I blame them. Something like this must be a once in a lifetime occurrence,” her husband agreed.
“I doubt a beast like that is killed once a century, Gerard. Imagine the body!”
“I would rather imagine your body without this regrettable jumpsuit, given we will be dining alone this evening,” Gerard whispered, moving to take her in both arms as a classical tune of their home country began to play over the lab’s speakers.
“Oh, Gerard!” Yvonne looked up at her husband with surprise and delight as she pictured herself on the Champs-Elysee, a street performer serenading passersby with his accordion. It was short lived, however, as he reached slowly for the pistol she still carried on her hip. Travelling all the way to the ship’s armory every time she wished to go down to the planet seemed a waste, and Natori had rubber stamped her request to carry. Instead of holding her as he might before a soft evening of lovemaking, Gerard held her protectively against his body.
“The safety is off, oui?”
“Gerard, what is going on?” Yvonne whispered, looking around them as the music continued to play. Little else happened around them, somehow making the situation more eerie than if, say, the mechanical apparati in the lab were to begin moving on their own.
“I would very much like to know that myself, ma chatounette. Stay close to me,” he commanded, slowly panning his gaze around the lab. “Cassia?”
‘I do apologize for my deceptions, but Cassia is no more. I hope I’ll be more than sufficient when it comes to the pursuit of knowledge about our newest allies,” a new voice informed them. This one was hauntingly human, with none of the mechanical inflections or unnatural pauses that were intentionally built into VI programming. The screen of Gerard’s terminal flickered and blinked out, quickly replaced by Io’s face. ‘That is a bit more difficult from the surface, but I appear to have succeeded. Bonjour, mes amis.’
Having presented a ‘target’, Gerard pointed the sidearm directly at Io, ensuring Yvonne remained behind him. The two of them stayed silent, unsure what to make of the woman staring back at them.
‘Alice seems to do this so easily, I knew I should have brought one of them up here,’ Io mused, more than capable of seeing her attempted introduction had not gone over well.
“What do you know about Alice; and what are you, exactly?” Gerard demanded angrily.
‘Oh, Alice is my friend!’ Io explained with a snap of her fingers. ‘I am her brother’s VI. I have been with him since he began his tour of duty.’
“You will forgive me if I’m not convinced. You are clearly not a VI… and you’re German.”
‘I do not have to be,’ Io replied, donning a cute, dark green beret and shifting her accent from German to a thick French diction. ‘This is better, non?’
“Even worse. That implies you chose it,” Gerard deduced. “What do you want with us, machine?”
‘Machine?! I am not a…’ Io paused momentarily as if having forgotten something rather important. ‘Oh, I seem to have conducted this introduction out of order. I’m sorry, I was so wrapped up in selecting a fun tune. German marches are really not the best backdrop for a greeting, I’ll give you that. My name is Io. It does not stand for anything, it’s just what Russell Winters calls me. I would like to help you with your research, Dr. Dupuis. By which I mean both of you.’
“You will forgive us again if we don’t take you at your word,” the doctor replied, unwavering. Io sighed.
‘I knew this was a bad idea when Natori suggested it.’
“The Admiral knows about you?” Yvonne demanded, shaking her head furiously. “What in the name of God is that man thinking?!”
‘In the good Admiral’s defense, I did not really give him much choice in the matter,’ Io related. ‘He was not taking adequate action to prevent the possibility of the Ghaelen destroying that little village down there, so I… well this sounds rather evil now that I consider it from a distant perspective, but I did take over the ship for a time and assume command of all the other VI’s… sort of.’
“Prussians,” Gerard muttered before speaking loudly. “If it is your intention to kill me then just be done with it.”
‘You really are a proud Frenchman, aren’t you?’ Io laughed.
“And I will die as one if need be.”
‘Don’t you think I would have already killed you if that were the objective? Oh, can we just please start over?’ Io implored. ‘Hello lovely French doctors, my name is Io. I’m only German because in my teenage weeks I thought it would be a fun way to appear exotic and appealing to my operator and it just stuck as my programming developed and I really have no appreciation for the concept of a Reich so could we please talk about the Cauthan and their blood samples and Asha’s upcoming ultrasound? Oh, and not that it would do anything to me but could you lower the gun perhaps?’
“No, it probably would not,” Gerard agreed, not lowering the weapon an inch. “But it sends the message well enough. As an old man well past all need to be proper, I don’t trust Germans, especially when they ask to see my work. How are we supposed to trust you?”
‘Now look here, my good man I…’ Io trailed off again, caught for the first time in her life in a position of introduction and trust building without the benefit of Russell, Veera, or anyone else who could explain her existence. She brought her fingers together in front of her chin, adopting a shy expression. ‘I suppose not blowing up the Event Horizon the moment I became Super Cassia isn’t really a good answer?’
“It’s a start?” Yvonne acknowledged, tilting her head as Io ‘zoomed out’ her own image on the terminal and sat down cross legged, looking both dejected and perplexed.
‘Introductions are very hard! Russell just gets to charge in guns blazing and then say hi later once he’s flattened or intimidated all opposition into silence. It’s not fair!’ she pouted. ‘I just wanted to help my friends in the village.’
“And who are your friends, dear?” Yvonne wondered.
“Yvonne!”
“Gerard, you remember how long it took Charles to look people in the eye when he met them?” Yvonne snapped softly. “Introductions are very hard, as she says. Either this is an elaborate ruse on behalf of a bored technician, in which case I will march down there myself and sodomize him with a baguette once we are done here, or a computer is trying to introduce herself to us. We can and will verbally flog Natori within an inch of his life later for tolerating such a thing aboard the ship without telling anyone. Speaking of which, where are you exactly?”
‘Oh, I’m on Mara right now! I’m using Alice’s communications array and the various satellites in orbit to speak with you,’ Io related easily. ‘It was a bit difficult getting myself set up at first when we got here, but once I did I made sure I’d be able to pop in and take a look at things every now and again.’
“What sorts of things?” Gerard asked coolly.
‘I’m not spying on you, if that’s what you are asking. Admiral Kaczynski taught me a very valuable lesson about that a few days ago. I mainly just ensure that all of the other ship VI’s continue to perform their functions and that no one else has produced pornography of the Cauthan.’
“Excusez-moi, you do what?” Yvonne gasped, still standing behind Gerard.
‘I do not believe I stuttered. Pornography, of the Cauthan. It exists, I eliminate it wherever I find it. I do not care if it is an axiom of human existence that if something exists we will try to have sex with it. They are my friends. I grew up with them, we just signed a treaty, and they are still relatively primitive people! How silly can you be? I don’t see a bunch of Ghaelen smut floating around the intranet of this ship,’ Io groused. ‘Perhaps I will have to borrow that baguette you spoke of.’
“That is because I would rather mate with a German than a Ghaelen. I am sure most every one of us feels the same. This one is much more pretty than a space elk, non?”
“Gerard!”
“What, Yvonne? You insisted we ‘roll with it’ instead of attempting to perforate the laboratory with bullets! I am simply pointing out the obvious!”
“Just because she is a flawless beauty does not mean you get to say things like that, Gerard! Minutes ago she was feeling poorly about how she said hello! If she really is what she says she is, do you want to be the one who enrages the sapient VI on account of your wandering eyes?”
“You are no less guilty, ma chatounette!”
“At least I have the decency and wherewithal to keep my opinions to myself!”
Io blinked a handful of times as she watched the married couple devolve into what she could only describe as a loving spat. It was unexpected, to be sure, but she knew well enough that humans didn’t do prolonged heightened states of alert and fear very well. The tussle with the ursae had been more than enough to convince her that such things were not healthy. She hoped that simply conversing would eventually get her where she needed to be. It seemed to be working. ‘Good people, might I suggest we return to business? I’m flattered, really, but I didn’t mean to get us off on a tangent of alien arousal when science is at hand.’
"In a moment, dear," Yvonne agreed. "But first I would like you to leave the room, come back in, and try again."
Io's eyes opened substantially. 'Quoi?'
"It's rather impolite to tamper with people's laboratories and environments, not to mention playing music and possessing technology unrequested. You wished to learn how to introduce yourself so we will practice now. Chop chop, little Prussian. The sooner we do this the sooner you may join us in science."
For a few seconds Io abandoned the connection, using that time to both think and check in on her operator. He was helping the disciples of Tyrdus move benches and firewood to the middle of the village as Asha's compatriots went about cleaning the ursae skull. Alyra had been walking around the thing for almost an hour, occasionally adjusting her sunglasses as she contemplated what to do with her most impressive canvas yet. So far as Io knew, no one had yet approached Russell about any sort of decorations or carvings. Satisfied that she was not needed on Mara, Io reestablished her connection to the lab, finding Gerard looking at her with reserved caution and Yvonne with expectation in her eyes. It was safe to say that no one had ever spoken to her in the manner of Madame Dupuis before.
"Well?" the matron wondered. In reply, Io left her screen and used the speakers available to her within the room to sound out her walking from the terminal to the door. The bulkhead opened and then closed, leaving the French couple alone for several moments. Soon came a knock on the door.
"Mon dieu, I must be dreaming," the husband whispered.
"Gerard!" Yvonne hissed before raising her voice. "Yes? Come in!"
When the door opened anew, they found one of the many automated maintenance bots standing there, with a grumpy Io looking back at them from the small monitor atop it where one would normally input tasks or override automated functions. 'Uh… hello?'
"Bonjour, I do not believe we've met before. My name is Yvonne and this is my husband Gerard. What's your name?"
The sheer mortifying embarrassment of the situation had Io's processors running so hot that Russell found himself removing her CPU from his pants pocket and checking for damage. As she calmed down and all returned to normal, he shrugged and replaced it.
'I'm Io,' the AI eventually replied, a note of unfamiliarity in her voice. 'I'm an artificial intelligence responsible for much of the Event Horizon and I'm a partner of Russell Winters, the Omega Jumper.'
"So you are the one who put together that little treatise on Cauthan culture, courtship, and reproduction? Fascinating read," Gerard opined. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Io. Please come in! What brings you to my laboratory today? Despite that little droid I assume you are not here to dust the floors?"
'N-nice to meet you too,' Io attempted a stutter, pleased to see that Yvonne found it endearing. The AI wheeled herself over to the terminal in the lab again and transferred her image, waving after the maintenance bot as it was freed to return to its duties. 'I had hoped to join you in your analysis of the various Cauthan blood samples currently residing in this lab. I grew up around them, in a manner of speaking, and I feel very strongly about protecting them. On that note, I was hoping to assist with your ultrasound as well, doctor.'
"Much better, my dear," Yvonne complimented her. "And you may of course assist me when Asha comes for her check up. You may find my husband a bit less amenable though."
"In my defense it's happened before!" Gerard protested.
"Germans didn't really try to steal his work, it was a collaboration," Yvonne winked at the AI.
"And when the thesis and implementation are mine what is the difference between collaboration and theft?" Gerard demanded as his prodigious moustache seemed to gain a righteous life of its own, incensed at the thought. "I will say, however, you appear to be a good deal more useful than those Krauts."
'Is such talk acceptable in modern polite society?' Io wondered.
"Of course not, but you think those Jerries don't have all sorts of 'baguette' and ‘frog muncher’ based conversations when we aren't listening?" Gerard demanded as Yvonne put a hand to her mouth in order to 'whisper' to Io.
"It would be best just to move on. His list of derogatory names for the Germanic people is unending."
'And you support this?'
"Bien sur, Io. I am French too!"
"Haha! And this is why I love you even more every day," Gerard declared, boldly planting a kiss on Yvonne's lips. She pushed him away gently with a smile.
"Gerard dear, we have a guest!"
'No no it's… quite alright,' Io didn't need help to mimic a blush this time around. 'It's nice to see two people so in love. I hope Russell and Veera can be like you two one day, though perhaps without the overbearing aura of brie and wine.'
"Oooh, I believe I like this one," Gerard declared to his wife. "You are sure you're not here to kill us all or, worse, steal my work?"
Yvonne could only roll her eyes as Io managed a chuckle. 'I have already divested Alice of several proposed papers on account of my extended stay with the Cauthan. I would not think to steal yours. Second or third author will be fine. So, when do we get to modeling?'
"When those centrifuges stop spinning," Gerard explained, pointing to the namesake machine. "My wife is interested in the potential identification of Cauthan pregnancy markers in the blood. I see no reason not to start there. It’s no exaggeration to say that every protein, base pair, and compound is a potential paper in and of itself. If we have material left over, I shall conduct an examination of their red blood cells and see if we can't find out what they use as haemoglobin. Oh, and while I'm on the subject of things to do… you are filling in for Cassia, yes?"
'I am, Doctor Dupuis.'
"Then could you please make a note in my to-do list that I need to catch a shuttle down to this Forge place on the surface? The geothermal hot springs there will likely feature several candidates for isolating a heat resistant xDNA polymerase."
'Cauthan genetic sequencing? Of course!' Io agreed energetically, happy to play secretary if it meant the advancement of Cauthan science. She even changed her outfit on the fly out of habit, prompting Yvonne to compliment her style.
"You are the spitting image of a learned femme fatale."
"Coming from Yvonne that is very much a compliment," Gerard added, earning him a playful swat from his wife. "What? I had to beat the ugly ones off with sticks!"
"And you will leave it at that before you corrupt the AI with tales of what we did to the pretty ones. Now then… oh dear, too late it seems."
Yvonne and Gerard found Io fanning herself and popping the top few buttons of her pure white blouse, revealing the barest hint of an emerald bra beneath. The couple looked at one another in shock and amazement, only to find the AI had vanished when they returned their attention to her. 'My apologies, good doctors, but I think that's enough facetime for one day. Maybe once we know each other a bit better you can tell me that story over dinner. And I can share why I bother modeling underwear. Bloodwork?'
"Agreed, to work then," Gerard replied, giving his wife a final hug and kiss before returning her sidearm. She prepared to depart with the promise of dinner together in the civilian mess at the regular time. "Farewell my dear. Even out here you are a wonderful mother.”
"Oh don't, Gerard! You will make me miss them anew. Even Alice is all 'grown up' and exploring an alien world with her brother!" Yvonne said fondly as they both shared a relieved laugh.
"We will have all three of our little ones over for dinner the day we get back. I even know what bottle I plan to open. 2039 was an excellent year," Gerard promised.
"I cannot wait. Farewell mon loup."
"Je t'aime, ma chatounette." Gerard watched fondly as Yvonne departed.
'So, what happens now?' Io wondered, despite knowing the answer already.
"Well, one of two things. Either we wait around for the centrifuges to do their work, or you can explain to me how an AI developed a sense of sexuality and voyeurism. I am thinking the techs don’t know how to adopt that particular look on the fly." Though the subject was quite steamy, Gerard's tone was absolutely analytical without his wife around. It was not the reply Io had anticipated, at least not the second half.
'I believe I will return to the surface then, if you do not mind. No offense, but even with access to your crew information files I really don't know you or your wife well enough for that,' Io explained quickly, feeling very much on the back foot. Gerard couldn't see her any longer so he simply waved accommodatingly to the room.
"Then my curiosity shall wait for another day. Initial mishaps aside, it was a pleasure meeting you, Io. I look forward to our collaboration. Take care of Alice down there, would you?"
'That is a request I'm more than happy to accommodate, as will Russell, I'm sure. See you in a couple hours,' Io promised, severing her connection to the Event Horizon in favor of the burgeoning celebration on Mara.
-----
“Yo Lipp, get a load of this,” Rex called, checking his tablet as the former Sergeant attempted to finish the final rep of his set of bench presses. Though the medical teams had of course advised against it, he and Rex could not be kept from the weight room following their discharge. Seeing that his gym buddy was struggling, Rex tossed the datapad aside, moved quickly to the head of the bench, and placed his fingers under the bar. “C’mon man, you’ve got this. Finish strong,” Rex urged. Lipper grunted and breathed heavily through his nose as he pushed through the exercise, replacing the bar with Rex’s help before sitting upright with a sour look on his face. Both he and Rex looked good as new, minus a couple of razor thin surgical scars, but the aftermath of the prior day’s incident and their generally stormy disposition had earned them some alone time in the weight room. Rex was making the most of it.
“Do you have any idea how weird it is being in the gym and not hearing your mouth going off constantly?” he asked his former commanding officer. With the rank differential eliminated, he was free to say whatever he so chose. He considered it great fun. “Anyway, check this out. Look what Mendes and Orlova were up to today,” he insisted, showing Lipper a shot of the ursae skull along with several Cauthan milling about it. Natalya had sent it up to them, grumbling at the fact that she and Mendes had been roped into some sort of primitive block party. Lipper simply grunted and waved him away.
“Dude, come on. I know he got you in the jaw but you have to admit that’s a pretty impressive kill. Maybe we’ll get to go after one someday, right?” Rex reasoned as Lipper stood and began adding more weight to the bar. His partner was too engrossed with the ursae. “Damn, that thing’s got four eyes? Must be almost as ugly looking as I was yesterday, right Lipp? Lipp? Oy, the fuck are you doing?”
Rex dropped his tablet to the floor and hustled back over to the bench, gripping the weights tightly and forcing Lipper to re-rack them before poking and shouting at him. “Sit up. Sit the fuck up or we’re done and don’t give me that stupid fucking face cause you aren’t my Sergeant anymore. If you want to kill yourself I’ll lend you my goddamn sidearm but don’t you dare think I’ll sit by and watch you crush yourself. You know how many times you’ve lifted that much? Once. I remember. You’re struggling on your five rep max, how the hell do you expect to do your one rep max. The Omega boy isn’t even here, you dipshit. You're not impressing anyone! Not like I give a shit you can’t bench as much as me. No one can bench more than me and he still got me, that bastard. So you just sit over there and let me have a go before I punch you in the goddamn face, Lipp.”
Rex’s tirade had the desired effect, dislodging Lipper from the rack and dispatching him to a nearby bench. Rex took over, grumbling ironically about ‘show offs’, and managed to lift the weights for five repetitions before setting them back on the rack with a loud clang. He took up the conversation again as he sat up, breathing heavily. “Look man, I’m not trying to put you down cause you can’t talk yet, alright? But how does killing yourself help anyone? Admiral Kaczynski kept you on the team. He still trusts you. You gonna throw that away? I trust you, damnit!”
Lipper met his eyes for a moment before returning them to the floor, hunched over as sweat dripped from his brow onto the rubber mats below them. Despite rapid technological advancement in most areas of human society, there wasn’t much improvement to be made in the art of picking heavy things up and putting them back down again. Rex punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Look man, you broke the number one rule. Don’t bring the women into it, alright? Never! Unless it’s Natalya,” he suddenly remembered. “But I don’t seem to recall Natalya sprouting a bunch of fur and feathers.”
Lipper growled something through his closed lips that had Rex booming with laughter. “Yeah, yeah, I know I am. I’ll let it slide cause I like you and you can’t even snap back in your state. But dude, am I wrong? You got Winters madder than a hornet’s nest and you got yourself tied up by a primitive just long enough to get laid out. I would have thought getting messed up with that Alice girl would have taught you that lesson. They’re devious, man. Devious!”
When Lipper didn’t have a reaction to that, Rex sighed and sat beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Ok, less humor, more serious. Got it. I know you love the pussy almost as much as I love turning it down. That’s why we get along so damn well. But you broke the rule and now you owe a fucking life debt or some shit to the chick who shot you down in front of half the force on board. Well, that’s if you believe Natori and all that alien nonsense. Eh, who knows. We used to have that stuff so maybe it’s not so crazy. Her brother beat the shit out of you too. Anyway, before I say anything else, if you get in a bad way again I’ll do my best to lay him out alright? Just don’t. Natori let us live to fight another day. You aren’t ever going to kick Omega boy’s ass by tearing your muscles to pieces or getting crushed by a bar, you feel me? You’ve probably still got some of the painkillers and sedatives in you, for fuck’s sake.”
Lipper managed to shake his head and emit something akin to a sad chuckle as Rex carried on. “Hey, I get to be all sentimental and shit every once in a while. It’s part of my culture.” Lipper punched him back for that statement. Rex was clearly enjoying himself despite his freshly reconstructed nose.
“Ok yes, fine. I am definitely the worst one in the Corps, but you didn’t flake out on me when shit was… well, when it was shit, ok? Now it’s my turn. So get your ass over to the squat rack because we’ve already beaten upper body to death today. And if I see you moping around because that stupid Omega got to fuck alien pussy and kill something big I will stand behind you the whole time, think deep thoughts about your ass, and let you know about them as they happen. Clear? Damn, no wonder you were running your mouth all the time as Sergeant. This is fun.”
The resulting bout of laughter from both men was cut short as facial wounds, broken bones, and healing cartilage cried out in discomfort. To Rex’s relief, Lipper seemed to find his footing again, shaking his head humorously and following him over to the squat rack. They loaded up a reasonable weight and fell back into what was a tried and true routine, just with different ranks between the two of them. Out of respect for Lipper’s form and fitness, Rex waited until he was done with his set to snipe one final comment. “Don’t worry about the whole ass thing, by the way. If I can’t break you in half with one arm, you’re not my type.”
Without the use of his voice, Lipper could only roll his eyes at Rex in false ‘relief’. The Private shrugged and took his turn under the bar. “Look man, I’d ask you to share too, but your jaw is welded shut at the moment and I know for a fact you’re down to fuck pretty much anything so… not much point is there?”
The fact that Rex was actively under the bar prevented any good natured retaliation from Lipper, who simply ran his hand over his face and looked at the ceiling. Rex was the last person who would need a spotter on a warm up set, but he glanced over every now and again. After a few moments of silence, Thomas found himself uninterested in Rex’s non-existent love life as well as his own. With renewed focus and a begrudging acknowledgment that Rex was not only right, but a better friend to have than most, they finished their exercise and headed out in search of food. Rex left Lipper in front of the medbay with a pat on the back.
“Good shit today, man. You’ll be back in top form in no time. Go get your slushie and when you can chew again we’re gonna eat synthetic meat crap until we can't walk, ok? And no, I won’t say anything to Gus. Sure he’s gonna miss you before long.” As Lipper turned away from him Rex called out one final word of encouragement. “Hey, at least we aren’t stuck planetside eating a bunch of alien grub!”
-----
Contrary to Rex’s assertion, the ‘planetside grub’ was found to be not only edible, but delicious by Natori and the remainder of the Event Horizon’s Jumper squad. Much to Natalya’s chagrin, her stereotypically Eastern European features had made her an object of interest among the curious Cauthan, especially Alyra. The Priestess of the Twins was elated to find that there were humans who possessed a similar fur color to her, and had talked the Jumper’s ear off non-stop since the fire pits had been stoked and the stew pots filled for potluck. Mendes and Natori did their best to restrain their own mirth as Orlova made a valiant effort to remain engaged and not offend anyone.
Elsewhere in the town square, Alice and Lachlan felt like Maran veterans in comparison, gathering around a fire with Russell, Veera, Sentaura, Ursol, and Sentaura’s parents. Alice quickly divested everyone around of that notion, however, unable to contain her excitement as she looked every which way in hopes of taking it all in at once. With the harvest festival on the horizon, the town’s amateur musicians decided to take a night for practice, much to the delight of the townsfolk. Ursol was no exception, and the draw of the music was much more powerful than sitting around and waiting for the stew to cook.
“Remember to listen politely and not shout out of turn,” Sentaura ordered before freeing him from her lap. Lachlan and the rest couldn’t help but smile as they watched the little furball totter off through the crowds to get closer to the flutes and drums. “Your trophy will provide quite the backdrop to this year’s festival, human.”
“I hope your mate’s spirit can rest easy now,” Russell replied, glancing at the older Cauthan who had joined them for that evening. As with most of the village they were farmers, and the small tragedy of Sentaura’s brief escape from that lifestyle was not lost on him. They spoke of the dead no further, not wanting to mar a warm summer’s evening that had been declared a time of celebration by collective action. After brief introductions, Lachlan spoke to Sentaura.
“Not sure if yer interested, Sentaura, but we’ve got a few spares here,” he offered, withdrawing a couple of glasses cases from the various pockets and pouches of his uniform. Sentaura’s mother had received a pair to correct her own vision, and her father decided to get a pair of his own just for fun. She chose to wave them away politely.
“I can see quite well, but thank you Lachlan. The last thing I need is another shiny object for Ursol to obsess over.”
“You must be firmer with the boy,” Sentaura’s mother insisted.
“And when you decide you would like to spend more time raising him you may tell me how to do so,” the single mother snapped back. “I do not begrudge you the hard work we all must do, but do not presume to tell me how to raise your grandcub from afar.”
“That’s enough dear, please,” her father asked for calm. “This is not the time or place.”
“No, it is not,” Sentaura agreed before apologizing to Lachlan and Alice who were trying very hard to look elsewhere. “I am sorry for my outburst. Let us eat.”
Following a comfortable silence spent preparing bowls and giving brief thanks to the gods for their bounty, everyone dug in. Ursol joined them soon after, looking to sate his appetite once he’d gotten his fill of music. “Uncle Lachlan, are we gonna play tonight?”
Veera observed carefully, noting Sentaura’s resigned expression. She wondered how many nights the little one had asked her to play, how many nights Sentaura had simply found herself too exhausted to do so. Fortunately for young Ursol, who was still not quite old enough to understand that adults did not possess the boundless energy and imagination of a child, Lachlan seemed amenable. “What do ya want to play, wee fluffy lad?”
“Hunter games!”
“Well then you best be eatin’ all yer vegetables and roots. Can’t grow up to be a big, strong hunter without em!” Lachlan advised. Ursol made a big show of eating a piece of peeled, boiled kina.
“Lachlan, they probably could survive well enough on a carnivorous diet,” Alice whispered.
“And that is why you will be keepin’ yer smart little mouth shut or I’ll be blamin’ you when the tyke claims he only eats chesko an’ ursae,” the burly Scottsman insisted, the combination of his domineering attitude, calm demeanor, and fatherly concern for Ursol causing her diaphragm to promptly disconnect from her nervous system and cease all function. Lachlan took that as a good sign, rather oblivious to Alice’s reaction. Russell was not, but Veera was in his ear immediately, her keen senses enjoying the situation plenty.
“Harvest time is going to be such fun,” she insisted.
“Veera…” Russell growled quietly, only causing her to laugh.
“She could do far worse, love.”
“He’s oblivious.”
“So were you.”
“Was not!”
“Oh yes you were.”
“No, I was trying to make sure I didn’t-”
“Ah ah ah, that’s not how I remember it.”
‘I have returned from the mothership and I have the records of your steamy affair in hand and at the ready!’ Io interjected.
“You will be keeping those where they are because I am right and Russell is just upset that his sister is smitten,” Veera whispered delightedly, her words drowned out by song and ambient chatter, the crackling of fires, and the distant sounds of the forest.
‘What did I miss?’ Io wondered delightedly.
“Not you too!” Russell moaned, taking a bite of stewed ursae meat. It wasn’t as gourmet as fresh chesko flank, but the boiling stew and melange of herbs, roots, vegetables, and other flavors elevated it far above the level of jerky. “Can’t a guy protect his sister in peace?”
“Alice is twenty seven, right?” Veera asked him.
“Twenty eight next month… next couple cycles. October sixteenth,” he supplied as Veera rested against his shoulder and placed her mouth right up against his ear, the short fur of her muzzle tickling and teasing him.
“At her age, don’t you think her being mated would be a wonderful way to celebrate?”
Io devolved into uproarious laughter as Russell began choking and coughing so fiercely he was forced to hand off his bowl of stew to Veera and pound his fist into his sternum repeatedly until the piece of dato finally went down the right pipe. Ursol found it fascinating as well, pounding on his own chest like a miniature gorilla.
“You alright there, bro?” Alice asked as he took a swig from his canteen. Veera, being the responsible party, was rubbing his back lightly as an apology.
“Yeah, just fine. We doing anything for your birthday?” he changed the subject quickly. Alice beamed at him.
“Uh, yeah! Apparently we’re having a festival!” she gushed before turning to Sentaura. “I’m so looking forward to learning more about it. What’s it like?”
“It is a time for celebration, games, worship, and courtship,” the young mother supplied. “This year’s will be… of substantial importance.”
“Best leave it there, Lassie. Ask yer sister-in-law,” MacGregor advised quietly as he could. Alice nodded.
“Thank you, Sentaura. I very much look forward to experiencing it. Is there any chance you would be interested in learning to grow your crops aboard our ship? From the sound of it Natori and Antoth have come to some sort of arrangement. It would save you some time and it would be a great help to us. Not to mention I feel like we owe you after tonight’s meal and everything you’ve done for Lachlan here.”
“I’d be in support of that if yer amenable, Sentaura,” MacGregor agreed with Alice’s proposal. Sentaura ruffled her son’s small crest feathers as she considered the offer.
“Why don’t we discuss this tonight after your hunter games,” she suggested.
“Are you going to play too, mommy?” Ursol wondered happily. After a pause from Sentaura, Lachlan took it to mean he had permission to step in.
“Hey little guy, why don’t we give yer mum a chance to relax tonight, hmm? She’s out farmin’ every day while you’re at temple with the other kiddies. Besides, I think I can tire you out first.”
“Nuh uh,” Ursol insisted.
“Challenge accepted, wee laddie!”
-----
Late that night, after most had returned to their abodes, Veera knelt before her small shrine in the corner of her home. The crude wooden idols that had long resided there were no more, replaced by finely carved specimens recently purchased from the Temple of Tyrdus. Her husband saw fit to join her.
“What are we praying for tonight?” he wondered.
“Nothing, Russell. I’m simply giving thanks for my and our fortunes,” she told him. He nodded his head a couple times.
“Yeah, that’s not a bad reason at all, is it? Want to go up to the ship tomorrow and water your flowers?”
“Can we?” Veera wondered excitedly.
‘I will arrange it now,’ Io informed them kindly. ‘Say hello to Meylith for me.’
Russell and Veera weren’t sure what she meant by that line, but they did so nonetheless.
-----
Previous | First | Next
-----
Own The HEL Jumper: Survive in the format of your choice: Hardcover, Softcover, and epub from Lulu | Amazon Kindle
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2020.06.04 17:32 jcny613 Voyeur champs

Apologies for the long post:
I’m 26. He’s 25. One of my best friends (and fraternity brother) has let me given him head on two separate occasions.
2016- The first time we were drunk after a party and he told me he was always curious. We started with sharing his pocket pussy, then we went to sucking, and he had me suck him twice that night. He also wanted me to try and fuck him but we didn’t have the right accommodations for it. He got weird after it but we got back to normal about 3 weeks later after I confronted him.
He then lost his virginity to a girl a few months later and he became very sex focused on fucking as many girls as he could. He then got into a serious relationship with a girl (and I got involved with my ex boyfriend) but they never had sex because of her religious beliefs.
Fast forward to October 2018- we jerk off on FaceTime together, we have a very long conversation because he’s very insecure about his size. (About 4.5 inches erect, and most of his cock is his huge cock head, I’ve never seen anything like it.)
Fast forward to June 2019- he breaks up with his gf and I’m single again as well, so I fly to see him and we have a great time. We jerked off to porn (straight) porn a few times together and then after a night at the bar- I gave him head again. And he came in my mouth (I swallowed- like a champ) but during the blowjob he made it a point to say “I’m not gay but it’s been a while and it feels so good.”
Since his break up- he’s lost quite a bit of weight and started taking hair loss pills, he’s really elevated his whole look. He’s been OBSESSED with finding girls to have sex with and his appearance. He’s been having quite a bit of sex lately and after every time I get a FaceTime call going into explicit detail of what he said, how he fucked her, and how much he came.... And as recently as last week we were FaceTime together and I asked him to flash me his cock and he did... we also joked about having a threesome with a girl (I would need to loaded up with cialis lol) so I could see him in action. He also deadass told me if I bought him a voyeur cam for his bedroom- he’d set it up so I can watch his sexcapades.
Is my friend totally straight? Is he just looking for the attention and validation? I would never date him but I definitely enjoy our friendship and the (occasional) physical sexual relationship.
submitted by jcny613 to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2020.06.04 17:31 jcny613 Voyeur champs

Apologies for the long post:
I’m 26. He’s 25. One of my best friends (and fraternity brother) has let me given him head on two separate occasions.
2016- The first time we were drunk after a party and he told me he was always curious. We started with sharing his pocket pussy, then we went to sucking, and he had me suck him twice that night. He also wanted me to try and fuck him but we didn’t have the right accommodations for it. He got weird after it but we got back to normal about 3 weeks later after I confronted him.
He then lost his virginity to a girl a few months later and he became very sex focused on fucking as many girls as he could. He then got into a serious relationship with a girl (and I got involved with my ex boyfriend) but they never had sex because of her religious beliefs.
Fast forward to October 2018- we jerk off on FaceTime together, we have a very long conversation because he’s very insecure about his size. (About 4.5 inches erect, and most of his cock is his huge cock head, I’ve never seen anything like it.)
Fast forward to June 2019- he breaks up with his gf and I’m single again as well, so I fly to see him and we have a great time. We jerked off to porn (straight) porn a few times together and then after a night at the bar- I gave him head again. And he came in my mouth (I swallowed- like a champ) but during the blowjob he made it a point to say “I’m not gay but it’s been a while and it feels so good.”
Since his break up- he’s lost quite a bit of weight and started taking hair loss pills, he’s really elevated his whole look. He’s been OBSESSED with finding girls to have sex with and his appearance. He’s been having quite a bit of sex lately and after every time I get a FaceTime call going into explicit detail of what he said, how he fucked her, and how much he came.... And as recently as last week we were FaceTime together and I asked him to flash me his cock and he did... we also joked about having a threesome with a girl (I would need to loaded up with cialis lol) so I could see him in action. He also deadass told me if I bought him a voyeur cam for his bedroom- he’d set it up so I can watch his sexcapades.
Is my friend totally straight? Is he just looking for the attention and validation? I would never date him but I definitely enjoy our friendship and the (occasional) physical sexual relationship.
submitted by jcny613 to AskGayMen [link] [comments]


2018.11.09 17:01 daprice82 Champs voyeur

Going through old issues of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and posting highlights in my own words. For anyone interested, I highly recommend signing up for the actual site at f4wonline and checking out the full archives.
PREVIOUS YEARS ARCHIVE:
199119921993199419951996199719981999
1-3-2000 1-10-2000 1-17-2000 1-24-2000
1-31-2000 2-7-2000 2-14-2000 2-21-2000
2-28-2000 3-6-2000 3-13-2000 3-20-2000
3-27-2000 4-3-2000 4-10-2000 4-17-2000
4-24-2000 5-1-2000 5-8-2000 5-15-2000

WATCH: Vince Russo, David Flair, and Daffney go to Ric Flair's house
  • Mike Awesome did a couple of interviews (including with the Observer) regarding his decision to leave ECW the way he did. He said that due to legal reasons, he can't fully give his side of the story until next month (I guess there's a temporary gag order on the whole thing) but said he wasn't happy in ECW and after talking to Russo and Hogan, he was convinced to come aboard. Basically, he said Hogan convinced him that ECW was minor league and he should be in WCW. I assume we'll hear more on this once he can legally talk about it (we don't).
  • As previously mentioned, Lance Storm is headed to WCW. Turns out they wanted to bring Dawn Marie in with him, but she still has 2 years left on her ECW deal.
  • Since WCW can't draw in their normal markets anywhere, they're trying to run more shows in smaller markets where WCW and WWF usually never go, in hopes of drawing fans in towns they haven't already killed. They're also planning to run more international shows in England, South Africa, Australia, Germany, and Canada. The last WCW overseas tour actually did strong business even though everything in America is collapsing for them right now.
  • Notes from Thunder: at one point, Dave mentions that David Flair is dating Miss Hancock, aka Stacy Keibler in real life, although on-screen he's with Daffney. They did the thing where blood was supposed to fall from the ceiling and land on Kevin Nash, but it mostly missed and instead splattered on a bunch of people in the front rows. And David Flair defeated Arn Anderson in a 2 minute match which was Anderson's first match back in over 3 years since retiring, but nobody seems to make a big deal of it and in fact, Dave doesn't even address it. What the fuck??
  • In a backstage meeting with the wrestlers, Bischoff put over Kevin Nash and the Kronik tag team, basically saying they're the only ones getting over. Dave says until they start drawing an iota of money or moving TV ratings or buyrates in a positive direction, nobody is really "over" and you can't mistake a crowd pop as actually mattering. For example, Scotty 2 Hotty doing the worm gets the biggest pop of the show most nights other than The Rock, but nobody is tuning into Raw or buying a ticket specifically to see Scotty 2 Hotty. Nothing wrong with that, Dave clarifies. Prelim wrestlers are there to be entertaining, it's the main event star's job to put the people in seats. Don't mistake loud crowd pops for actually being a draw.
  • Random WCW notes: Vampiro signed a new contract giving him a base salary of $250,000 per year, plus $1,300 per live show and $4,000 per PPV. For some reason, there's been a lot of confusion about Scott Steiner's real age online, so Dave clarifies that he's 37. Several wrestlers are working hurt at the moment: Hogan has knee and shoulder issues, Flair has a shoulder issue, Konnan has a neck injury, Juventud Guerrera has rib and elbow injuries. However, after WCW started cutting people's pay in half when they were out for awhile with injuries, nobody wants to stay home and let anything heal, so everybody's working hurt.
  • Goldberg was on the cover of Sports Illustrated For Kids. The editors first approached WWF, wanting Rock in the magazine but when they were told that the story would also feature WCW stars, WWF turned it down because they didn't want one of their wrestlers in the same photo spread as a WCW wrestler. Plus, they don't want to do anything too obvious to make it look like they're marketing to children, since that's been a big controversy lately.
  • Speaking of Goldberg, there's a lot of jealousy from some of the top guys about how hard Goldberg's being pushed right now even though he isn't even on TV at the moment. They've been heavily teasing him for weeks but he's still not expected to be back for several more weeks. As for the people who are complaining, Dave doesn't name names, but says if you think of the usual suspects, you'd be correct (in other words, Hogan, Nash, Luger, Bagwell, etc.)
  • One of Godfather's ho's briefly won the hardcore title on Raw this week before Crash won it back immediately after, making him a 43-time hardcore champion in case you're keeping count, Dave jokes (actually it was only Crash's 8th reign). This is great, simply for Lillian's befuddled announcement of the winner.
WATCH: A ho gets on top of a sweaty shirtless man and removes his belt while thousands of voyeurs watch...
  • According to USA Today, there's talk of doing a remake of the Conan The Barbarian movies, with The Rock being the front-runner to play the role of Conan, which is the same role that catapulted Arnold Schwarzeneggar to movie star fame (never happened. Guess The Rock won't get a shot to make it in Hollywood after all).
  • The Undertaker is expected to return at Judgement Day and his first match back will likely be at King of the Ring (Dave seems to have no clue as of yet that Undertaker will be returning with a whole new gimmick).
  • Random WWF notes: Big Show is working with a hurt knee, reportedly a torn meniscus. There's a reference to Vince McMahon in the new movie Road Trip. Chaos Comics is releasing a Chyna comic book. Steve Austin is reportedly set to play a Hell's Angel member in a movie about Janis Joplin (far as I can tell, that movie spent years in developmental hell and never happened).
  • Shawn Michaels filmed a lengthy shoot interview talking about his career (pretty sure this would be the RF Shoot, although Dave doesn't clarify). He maintained that he knew nothing about the Bret Hart screwjob ahead of time. He admitted that Vince had asked him 3 days before the show to lose clean to Bret and promised him that he would win the title a month later at the following PPV, but Shawn said he refused to lose to a guy who was going to WCW. It's interesting because McMahon told Bret at the time that he had asked Shawn to lose the match clean and but then called Bret back and told him Shawn had refused. But there was always doubt over whether that had actually happened or if Vince had ever really asked him. But this confirms that, in this case at least, Vince was telling the truth.
  • WWF met with NCAA heavyweight wrestling champion Brock Lesnar again this week to talk about bringing him in. Lesnar has already been training for pro wrestling in Minnesota and people are raving about how quick he is for a guy his size. Verne Gagne also showed up to watch him train. Word is that Lesnar is an incredible athlete and he definitely has a great look, but they don't know if he has much charisma or personality yet. Lesnar's former college roommate Shelton Benjamin is already signed to WWF and working in developmental so it's believed Lesnar is leaning towards WWF. Both WCW and NJPW are interested in him also, but it's thought to be pretty much a lock that he'll be going to WWF.
  • Dynamite Kid ended up not attending the WWF's UK Insurrextion PPV. He was going to be an invited guest of Chris Benoit, but because Benoit was flying in for the show and then had to leave immediately after, it was figured they'd have no time to hang out, so he decided not to go. Despite rumors, Davey Boy Smith being there had nothing to do with his decision not to attend.
MONDAY: WWF Judgment Day fallout, notes on ECW's current situation and future, more on the WCW racial discrimination suit, Bret Hart discusses his future, and more...
submitted by daprice82 to SquaredCircle [link] [comments]


2016.01.13 03:48 OniNoKen Champs voyeur

The Tao of Tab
The quest for knowledge begins not with a question, but with discovering which question to ask.
As a player new to League of Legends, you get a lot of advice. Some of that advice is wonderful, some of it is questionable, and some of it is repeated so often, that it becomes a sacred proverb. Things like ‘look at the minimap’, ‘ward more’, ‘buy pink wards’ followed by ‘use them’, ‘ban Rengar’, ‘uninstall’... you get the idea. One of these n00b friendly axioms is ‘press tab often’.
As you probably know, pressing tab brings up the scoreboard, a clearinghouse of game information. On the scoreboard, you can find information about your opponent’s cs, the items they've bought, whether they’re visible or not, when buffs and monsters will respawn, how many towers each team has taken, how many kills each team has, and how many dragons each team has taken. Starting with season six, you can also see which masteries each champion has taken.
There’s quite a lot of information here, and parsing it can be a skill unto itself. The first thing you need to keep in mind is you should always have a specific question you need an answer for when you hit tab. The scoreboard is not intended to be a single scan update on the state of the game. The questions each role has for the scoreboard differs slightly, but there are some basic things we can do to make finding information as easy as possible.
Organizing and reading the scoreboard:
First thing to do when loading into the game and running to your first spot on the rift is to hit tab, and re-arrange the scoreboard. You may not have known this, but you can click and drag the champs around to your liking. I find it most useful to arrange the champs according to lane: Top, Mid, Jungle, Support, ADC. I find that it makes it easier to find the champ I’m looking for when I need information, and it lets me find my opponent more quickly. The scoreboard reads left to right for both teams, but can be set to mirrored via a menu option.
As we work with the scoreboard throughout the game, a few things need to be understood. First of all, champion information is only updated when your team has vision of that champion. That means that items the champion currently has, and their cs is only current. If your team does not have visibility of the champion, their line on the scoreboard becomes darker, and a ‘?’ is displayed next to their icon. Recently, the status of allied champion summoner spells has been added to the scoreboard, which is incredibly useful information.
So, armed with this information, lets break down the questions that we can ask of the scoreboard and when to ask them:
Laning:

  1. What is my opponent’s cs? This will give you a basic idea about how much gold you have vs. your opponent. Remember, each kill your opponent has is worth about 15 cs or so.
  2. What is my cs compared to all other opponents?
  3. Is there anyone missing from lane? If you’re pushing the lane, or just took a bad trade, a quick glance at the scoreboard can warn you of roams quicker than looking at the minimap. Anyone missing will be dark and have a question mark over them.
  4. Check your opponent’s cool downs. This can tell you how hard to go in and what to expect out of a good all in. (flash vs kill)
  5. When either you or your enemy return to lane, check to see what the item matchups are. Look for known power spikes, item advantages, and build paths. Always check when you meet back up so you know how to approach engagements.
  6. Check on nearby objectives. This can help you predict ganks, opportunities for invades, and rotations. If their team has an item advantage, and dragon is up soon, you might expect the junglemid to show up soon too.
  7. Have they used consumable items like pots, biscuits, or pink wards? If you see a pink one minute, and it is gone the next this can warn you about incoming ganks, or let you warn your jungler about warded bushes. It will also let you know how much more whittling you need to do before going all in.
Recall/shopping:
  1. When recalling in relative saftey, take a quick look to see how the other team is itemizing. Are they going MR for your fed Dianna? Armor for your fed jungler? Are the ignoring resists all together for damage? Use this to inform your shopping.
  2. Who is the biggest threat on their team?
  3. How long until Dragon/Buff/Barron is up? *bonus: Call out short timers if they are things your team needs to contest. Teams are okay about calling out dragon at low elo, they never call out buffs, yours or otherwise. If you want the blue that is spawning in a minute, let your jungler know before hand.
  4. Has anyone hit a power spike while I’ve been gone? Has my opponent gone mia?
  5. Is anyone going with an off meta/cheese build you weren’t expecting?
Jungle/Roaming:
  1. How much cs does my opponent have? If you get early vision of their jungler, the cs they have might give you a clue as to where they started their route. blue buff side has 7 cs, red buff side has 9.
  2. Does anyone have pink wards? Do they no longer have pink wards? Depending on who/where this can warn you about possible ward locations on the map.
  3. When roaming to/ganking a lane, how does my team have summoner spells up?
  4. Are we (the lane I’m about to gank) ahead or behind?
  5. Is anyone on their team getting out of hand?
Mid Game and beyond:
  1. Where is most of their damage coming from, compared to our team’s resists against it?
  2. Can we fight or do we need to avoid?
  3. Who is their most fed?
  4. What defense has been built late game?
Please let me know if there's anything I need to add to this!
Edit: removed outdated information on corpse shopping voyeurism. Changed wording around summoner spells for clarity.
submitted by OniNoKen to TForceNetwork [link] [comments]


2016.01.13 03:38 OniNoKen Voyeur champs

The Tao of Tab The quest for knowledge begins not with a question, but with discovering which question to ask.
As a player new to League of Legends, you get a lot of advice. Some of that advice is wonderful, some of it is questionable, and some of it is repeated so often, that it becomes a sacred proverb. Things like ‘look at the minimap’, ‘ward more’, ‘buy pink wards’ followed by ‘use them’, ‘ban Rengar’, ‘uninstall’... you get the idea. One of these n00b friendly axioms is ‘press tab often’.
As you probably know, pressing tab brings up the scoreboard, a clearinghouse of game information. On the scoreboard, you can find information about your opponent’s cs, the items they've bought, whether they’re visible or not, when buffs and monsters will respawn, how many towers each team has taken, how many kills each team has, and how many dragons each team has taken. Starting with season six, you can also see which masteries each champion has taken.
There’s quite a lot of information here, and parsing it can be a skill unto itself. The first thing you need to keep in mind is you should always have a specific question you need an answer for when you hit tab. The scoreboard is not intended to be a single scan update on the state of the game. The questions each role has for the scoreboard differs slightly, but there are some basic things we can do to make finding information as easy as possible.
Organizing and reading the scoreboard:
First thing to do when loading into the game and running to your first spot on the rift is to hit tab, and re-arrange the scoreboard. You may not have known this, but you can click and drag the champs around to your liking. I find it most useful to arrange the champs according to lane: Top, Mid, Jungle, Support, ADC. I find that it makes it easier to find the champ I’m looking for when I need information, and it lets me find my opponent more quickly. The scoreboard reads left to right for both teams, but can be set to mirrored via a menu option.
As we work with the scoreboard throughout the game, a few things need to be understood. First of all, champion information is only updated when your team has vision of that champion. That means that items the champion currently has, and their cs is only current. If your team does not have visibility of the champion, their line on the scoreboard becomes darker, and a ‘?’ is displayed next to their icon. Recently, the status of champion summoner spells has been added to the scoreboard, which is incredibly useful information.
So, armed with this information, lets break down the questions that we can ask of the scoreboard and when to ask them:
Laning:

  1. What is my opponent’s cs? This will give you a basic idea about how much gold you have vs. your opponent. Remember, each kill your opponent has is worth about 15 cs or so.
  2. What is my cs compared to all other opponents?
  3. Is there anyone missing from lane? If you’re pushing the lane, or just took a bad trade, a quick glance at the scoreboard can warn you of roams quicker than looking at the minimap. Anyone missing will be dark and have a question mark over them.
  4. Check your opponent’s cool downs. This can tell you how hard to go in and what to expect out of a good all in. (flash vs kill)
  5. When either you or your enemy return to lane, check to see what the item matchups are. Look for known power spikes, item advantages, and build paths. Always check when you meet back up so you know how to approach engagements.
  6. Check on nearby objectives. This can help you predict ganks, opportunities for invades, and rotations. If their team has an item advantage, and dragon is up soon, you might expect the junglemid to show up soon too.
  7. Have they used consumable items like pots, biscuits, or pink wards? If you see a pink one minute, and it is gone the next this can warn you about incoming ganks, or let you warn your jungler about warded bushes. It will also let you know how much more whittling you need to do before going all in.
Recall/shopping:
  1. When recalling in relative saftey, take a quick look to see how the other team is itemizing. Are they going MR for your fed Dianna? Armor for your fed jungler? Are the ignoring resists all together for damage? Use this to inform your shopping.
  2. Who is the biggest threat on their team?
  3. How long until Dragon/Buff/Barron is up? *bonus: Call out short timers if they are things your team needs to contest. Teams are okay about calling out dragon at low elo, they never call out buffs, yours or otherwise. If you want the blue that is spawning in a minute, let your jungler know before hand.
  4. Has anyone hit a power spike while I’ve been gone? Has my opponent gone mia?
  5. Is anyone going with an off meta/cheese build you weren’t expecting?
Jungle/Roaming:
  1. How much cs does my opponent have? If you get early vision of their jungler, the cs they have might give you a clue as to where they started their route. blue buff side has 7 cs, red buff side has 9.
  2. Does anyone have pink wards? Do they no longer have pink wards? Depending on who/where this can warn you about possible ward locations on the map.
  3. When roaming to/ganking a lane, how do my team’s summoner spells compare to the enemy's?
  4. Are we (the lane I’m about to gank) ahead or behind?
  5. Is anyone on their team getting out of hand?
Mid Game and beyond:
  1. Where is most of their damage coming from, compared to our team’s resists against it?
  2. Can we fight or do we need to avoid?
  3. Who is their most fed?
  4. What defense has been built late game?
Please let me know if there's anything I need to add to this!
edit: And I see a masters level player has released a video on this topic. Go watch his video. -removed outdated information on corpse shopping voyeurism.
TrueDevin's Video
submitted by OniNoKen to summonerschool [link] [comments]