Best Songs Janet Jackson || Janet Jackson Greatest Hits Best Songs Janet Jackson || Janet Jackson Greatest Hits Best Songs Janet Jackson || Janet Jackson Gre... JunkyGS's Top 50 Best Janet Jackson Songs [DISCUSSION] Background. Hello! For those that don't know I have written and posted about Janet Jackson on Popheads for over 3 years at this point. This includes anniversary posts for her albums, eras and overall detailing her impact as an under rated legend. She is the only artist I stan and is my ... Janet Jackson - "What Have You Done For Me Lately" Jackson had made five appearances in the Top 40 of the R&B charts with tracks from her first two albums, but this 1986 hit marked the true ... Janet recorded “Runaway” as an original bonus track for her greatest hits collection, Design of a Decade: 1986-1996. In a big way, the song incorporates so much of the what makes the album’s ... 7.“Take Care” This song is often overlooked when mentioning Ms. Jackson’s best bedroom jams, largely because of the album it’s on, 20 Y.O. That album is so stuffed with cliché ’00 pop sounds that it secretes Jermaine Dupri.Nevertheless, it breathes when Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis take helm of the production board, especially on this song. Janet Jackson's 50 best songs of all time, ranked ... EW’s celebrating her towering catalogue of music with a look at our Top 50 favorite songs from her solo career. 50. “Can’t B Good” (2008) N othing summarizes Janet Jackson’s contributions to pop music any clearer than the interlude that serves as the transition between Rhythm Nation’s opening trio of socially conscious tracks and the largely feel-good love songs that follow: “Get the point? Good, let’s dance.” She’s gone through many phases (industrial trainee, man-conquering vamp, spiritual gardener, 20-year-old ... Janet Jackson greatest hits || Best Janet Jackson Songs Janet Jackson greatest hits || Best Janet Jackson Songs Janet Jackson greatest hits || Best Janet Jac... Top 10 Best Janet Jackson Songs // Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/c/MsMojo?sub_confirmation=1 These are the best Janet Jackson songs! For this list, we're... The best Janet Jackson songs cover classic R&B, late-night slow-jams and subversive pop, marking the singer out as a pioneering female musician. Born on 16 May 1966, Janet Jackson launched her ...
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Background Hello! For those that don't know I have written and posted about Janet Jackson on Popheads for over 3 years at this point. This includes anniversary posts for her albums, eras and overall detailing her impact as an under rated legend. She is the only artist I stan and is my favorite artist in all of music. As the go-to-Janet Jackson stan / resource to the community I have been often asked throughout the years "what are your favorite Janet songs / what songs should I check out if I am new to Janet". The task of picking out my favorite Janet Jackson songs always seemed incredibly daunting. This is a woman who has released 11 albums which includes over 300 songs which are all fantastic and important to me for one reason or another.
There is also the additional context of studying the eras, her interviews, her history and everything related to those songs over the years; WHICH brings me to this point that my favorites are always changing and very hard to nail down.
Below you will find what are in my opinion the best 50 songs released by Janet Jackson. The first question you might have is how did a decide to rank these songs which is a great question. I ended up combining a lot of factors of varying importance into crazy equation into how I ranked these songs.
Now to state the obvious that this ranking is obviously going to be biased based off my tastes and lived experiences; however those are only two factors among a sea of many including cultural / musical impact, intent of the song, how it compares to similar ones in her discography, how they have aged, the context and societal standards of the time in which they were released, production, lyricism, Janet's involvement in the song and critical reception or lack there of at the time.
This list shouldn't be viewed as fact or invalidate your personal rankings; rather a list which can be the launching point for future Janet fans, bring awareness to songs even the casual or hardcore Janet Jackson fan might now know and overall use my years of Jan Fam stan hood to give you an informed opinion.
I can't wait to discuss any or all of this list with anybody that wants to after spending literal days deciding this list by listening to so much Janet and then writing something for every track (while trying to not make it over whelming by writing too much!!), now without further ado.... the list! I tried to keep the writings short for songs #50 - #21, write more for #20-#11 and then write the most for #10 - #1 and in the wise words of music's busiest nerd "Y'all know this is just my opinion, right?".
The List 50) Come On Get Up
An airy feel good and fun turn of the millennium bop that is a perfect fit on a playlist for any sort of celebration.
49) Island Life
The perfect song for a vacation getaway with a lover or to imagine a time post covid when we can travel to islands again.
48) No Sleep
The comeback single after an over ½ a decade wait has the “Queen of Insomnia” reminding us nobody croons a sexy R&B slow jam quite like Janet.
47) Because of Love
The single that is considered one of the final hits of the new jack swing era and what a hit to end the era with. Janet embodies infatuation and all the changes loving her partner has had on her.
46) Dream Maker / Euphoria
Janet imagines and manifests through talking to a higher power how she can make the world a better place on this mid-tempo jam featuring older soul infused production in a modern way.
45) R&B Junkie
In this retro up tempo bop Janet throws it back to the 80’s dance club scene and takes us all along with her on the ride.
The song that kicked off one of the most iconic careers in music history and established Janet has a woman with full autonomy over her career.
43) My Need
In this mid-tempo song featuring hip-hop production is about Janet discussing her unbridled lust for her lover.
42) Black Cat
On this self-written and co-produced rock jam Janet proved to many people her artistry and foreshadowed her future adventures into many kinds of genres and sounds.
41) Trust a Try
In one of the most experimental songs of Janet’s discography she spits venom at a cheating ex over production that combines hard rock, classical music, dance, pop, hip-hop.
40) Someone to Call My Lover (So So Def Remix)
Janet daydreams about the perfect man over this sweet bop. This remix adds infectious production that you can’t help to rock and bounce to.
39) All Nite (Don’t Stop)
In this electro-funk dance bop Janet commands the club and gets everybody hyped to dance in one of biggest “hits that got away” in her career due to the blacklisting.
38) Son of a Gun (I Betcha Think This Song Is About You) [with Carly Simon]
While interpolating the classic Carly Simon song “You’re So Vain” Janet calls out everybody in her life that have tried to take advantage of her.
37) So Much Betta
Now this is where my taste really comes into play with this pick because it is a song ignored by Janet and the JanFam for most of her career until she decided to say GAY RIGHTS by doing a melody of it with Throb at her residency. This song to me is one of the best shameless electro slut bops that is just so infectious and fun.
Janet skates across this modern house production to deliver in her classic breathy vocals a hopeful bop.
35) All for You
In one of the biggest hits of her career Janet delivers turn of the millennium dance pop gold with a bright and optimistic dedication to a lover.
34) Feedback (So So Def Remix feat. Busta Rhymes, Ciara & Fabolous)
By keeping the highlights of the original (chorus, bridge and pre chorus) and replacing the… questionable verses with fantastic guests Janet delivers one of the best electro-pop songs of her career.
33) Funny How Time Flies (When You’re Having Fun)
In some of the most gorgeous production of Janet’s career she reminisces with a lover about their relationship and a future glimpse into future sex jams.
32) Doesn’t Really Matter
In this slick and fresh sounding bop Jackson coos about ignoring everybody’s opinion of her lover and features an absolutely euphoric key change.
31) Free Xone
In this funky electro jam Janet speaks out about homophobia and how we need to fight for a world free of intolerance.
This song made Janet the first female artist in Billboard history to debut in the Top Ten of the Hot 100 and it is easy to see why. This beautiful poppy hip-hop song with influences from African and Asian music Janet coos about runing away (what gave it away) with a lover.
Janet reflects and thanks her fans for their unconditional pure love for helping her see through the hardest times in her life over this old school R&B jam. She walks the careful line of being genuine without pandering.
28) Velvet Rope
Janet outlines the premise of her album of the same name by speaking about how everybody has a emotional barricade (velvet rope) that prevents us from sharing with others our most personal thoughts and how Janet feels empowered to let people into her velvet rope.
27) Shoulda Known Better
Janet reflects on the rhythm nation era with all knowledge she has gained since she was “the poster child for being naïve”. She confronts that the same issues she thought she could change at the time are still around and about how she knows now different ways to tackle these issues instead of thinking she could just change the world herself.
26) Put Your Hands On
On this Japanese exclusive track for Damita Jo Janet encourages her lover to give into their fantasies and give into their body’s sensations over a mid-tempo house beat. Janet is commanding and completely in charge of her sexuality in this often looked over gem in her discography.
25) I Want You
Written by (unknown at the time) John Legend and produced by new comer Kanye West, Janet is passionate about her desire to make her lover “have her way with her” over a throwback doo-wop Motown mid-tempo beat.
One of Janet’s best deep cuts on of her most under rated albums (even by me for a long time as I ventured through my Janet stanhood journey). This song is so simple but incredibly effective at capturing a light hearted blissful feeling of living in the moment without regrets.
In the most under rated bop of her career, Janet sings over an infectious deep house beat influenced dance song with elements of Jazz about everything Janet wants to do with a lover.
22) Rhythm Nation
This was born from the concept of Janet wanting to help create a world filled with people inspired to fight for social change & unity, specifically wanting to reach kids by having a song they could dance to. The song's production is funky and industrial, along with lyrical content speaking as a call to arms to help fight against the worsening of society. It received universal critical acclaim with one reviewer writing, "the beats on this song are probably the most powerful ever to be heard in the history of mankind". It peaked at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 for two weeks and reached the Top 20 in many countries across the globe. It won Most Played Song at the BMI Pop Awards.
21) Days Go By
Over beautiful and whimsical production Janet perfectly captures the feelings of longing for a lover when you are away from them. It takes anybody back to the infatuation / honeymoon phases of their relationship. It baffles me how this song is a Japanese exclusive track for 20 Y.O. and is not on the main tracklist.
This absolute tear jerker is about Janet reflecting on her relationship with her brother Michael, their childhood and the grief she had to deal with after his passing. In typical Janet form she allows a song addressing something sad sound upbeat and hopeful, like many of the gems in her discography. Jimmy Jam later explained in an interview, "Janet really had never addressed anything about her brother Michael dying. And if you know Janet and you’re a fan of hers, you know that she doesn’t speak a lot, but anything you wanna know about her and how she’s feeling always are in the records. If you listen to the records, she tells you exactly how she’s feeling. So this was her opportunity to talk about his memory, but to do it in a kind of a celebratory way. And the way the song lays out for us, it was just a matter of starting off very simple about her reminiscing about them together as kids and the things that happened and the way that she remembered— ‘cause we remember Michael as superstar Michael. For her? That’s her brother. She grew up with him. So we started the song like that."
19) You Need Me
In this rare b-side of Miss You Much, Janet sings in my opinion the most personal song of her entire career. It is a scathing detail of how negligent and abusive her father has been to her and the family growing up, along with how Janet had to step up as a child because of “all the childhood I missed out on and the love I never had”. Janet pleads with her father to swallow his pride and admit that how now that she is successful and he is older “the tables have turned, now you need me”. This is an anthem for anybody with a complicated childhood or who has a complicated relationship with their parents.
This is all about Janet’s thoughts on the emptiness people who only connect with others on through the internet must feel. Janet said when asked about this song, “"I like computers and use them to write and communicate with people all over the world. I believe computers are capable of tremendous good. But I also think about people whose only connection to other people is through a computer. I wonder what kind of reality that creates, and what kind of romantic frustrations it produces. After the machine is turned off and the electronic glow fades away, I wonder if you feel empty…” The song is very timely and incredibly relevant over 20 years later especially in this times of quarantining during COVID!!
17) That’s the Way Love Goes
This song was an instant classic the moment it came out. Janet fused together elements of pop, R&B, funk, soul, and hip hop to create this slow jam. It is the longest running number one single of any member in the Jackson family on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Janet sensually coos about the effect she will have on her lover and how it goes when with her.
16) State of the World
One of my personal favorites off of the RN album and what would later be the name of Janet's 2017 & 2018 tour due to it sadly being still so relevant 30 years later. It was the 8th single off of the album, but was not released commercially in the US making it not eligible to chart on the Hot 100 due to the rules at the time. Despite that and having no music video to promote it, it still reached number 5 on the Billboard's Hot 100 Airplay Chart. This song tries to hold a mirror to society about the issues people were facing such as homelessness, prostitution, drugs impacting black communities, people not having food to eat, kids not feeling safe to go out and play anymore, bullying in schools; with Janet trying to offer hope later in the song and asking the listener to "weather the storm together".
Now this song is no lyrical master piece and might raise some eyebrows on how high it is placed but this song holds a special place in my queer heart. The first time I heard it I immediately felt safe, seen and still sounds great over 20 years later. The production is a mix of deep house and acid house with this brilliant bass line that will get anybody out of their seat. It is structure-less but still manages to deliver an experience.
14) Any Time, Any Place (Jam & Lewis Remix)
A classic R&B ballad and staple in hiphop thanks to being the prominent sample on Drake and Kendrick Lamar’s smash hit “Poetic Justice”. Janet details the lust and dirty thoughts she has for this person when they go out in public together. It is the anthem for expeditionists! On this remix Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis somehow manage to find a way to make this song even more sensual, trim a lot of the fat and deliver the definite listening experience for this classic.
In this absolute classic bop Janet details an encounter she had with a couple guys who were cat calling and harassing her. She totally owns and delivers the disgust she has for these men. When she returned to the studio after this encounter she told Jimmy and Terry “Those guys were saying nasty things to me, I don’t like nasty boys”, to which Jimmy and Terry replied “Ok! So let’s write about it.” With the instantly iconic line “No, my first name ain't baby - It's Janet, Miss Jackson if you're nasty” Janet empowered millions of women to feel confident in owning their sexuality and who they are.
12) I Get Lonely (TNT Remix feat. Blackstreet)
Janet really plays to her strengths as a vocalist & artist by making a timeless R&B ballad that addresses her desire to have an ex-lover back and dreaming about what it would be like to have them back. This remix adds incredible backing vocals from Blackstreet and adds more hip-hop flare (curtesy of Timbaland) to it that takes it to another level.
11) What Have You Done For Me Lately (Grammy Awards ’87)
There was a ton riding on this performance and a lot to prove. The narratives were she is just Mike’s little sister, she is over hyped and overall a lot of doubt from critics. In this version Janet, Jimmy and Terry add incredible live instrumentals that make this song even more commanding and weighty. Janet completely owns the attitude of the son, interlopes her own song Nasty’s beat, adds a slow section and then completely picks it up again. The performance and production is an absolute master class of Janet’s artistry as a performer and musician. Janet crushed any doubters of who is “in control”.
In my opinion this song is the best deep cut of her career and the best sex / slow jam song of her career which is filled with many legendary ones. The beat is perfectly dramatic and suspenseful. Janet’s vocals are perfectly breathy and powerful. She details how her lover is giving her the most satisfying sex of her life and how nothing get she higher then loving this person and them loving her back. This is a victory lap from a master of creating baby making music.
9) Got ‘Til It’s Gone
In an incredibly rare move Joni Mitchell approved her song being sampled by Janet after she reached out to Joni about her being such a huge fan, the impact her music had on Janet & playing the song for her. It was the first single off the record with production that took parts of pop, hip-hop and R&B to make this infectious beat. It is about the regrets Janet has about the one who got away and not taking for granted anything she has in her life, including the good and bad things.
8) Go Deep (Vocal Deep Disco Dub)
In this groovy funky R&B track it talks about Janet’s desire to just go to club, pick up a man and bring him home because she is feeling herself tonight. When asked about this song Janet said, “Dancing is therapy, I love writing and singing songs that make you move, lift your mood and take you out of yourself. There are times when I call up my friends and say, `Hey, we gotta go dancing tonight.' (We Go Deep) is about getting ready, getting down and tripping out on pure fun”. It takes a lot for a song to keep my interest, especially when they are over 8 minutes long but this remix accomplishes the rare feat of feeling like it ends too soon. It picks up the pace, adds more instruments and overall makes it into an infectious club bop. It is easy to see why Janet included this as one of the few remixes on the deluxe edition of The Velvet Rope.
7) What About
This song is all about the pent up rage Janet had about previous romantic relationships gone wrong and finally addressing the anger they caused. It starts off beautifully representing the good times and then EXPLODES into this cathartic chorus calling out how her partner cheated on her and was emotionally & physically abusive to her. Janet explains: "We all have relationships somewhere in our past where we were wronged-deeply wounded-and didn't have the guts to face the issue. We were scared to confront the person who did the hurting. We stuffed the pain. Well, if we're going to get on with our lives, the pain has to faced. And the result can be explosive anger."
6) Love Will Never Do (Without You)
The seventh single off of the album. It was written by Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis, with production by them and Janet Jackson. It was one of the first songs recorded for the album and was intended to be a duet with either Prince, Johnny Gill or Ralph Tresvant. Janet recorded the first verse in a lower octave as a place holder and then went an octave higher on the second verse to hear what a male would sound on the song, but they ultimately just kept it in. The song is about dedication to making her relationship work with somebody, despite her friends not thinking it could work or last. The song went #1 on the Billboard Hot #1 and was the #1 song on the Airplay Hot 100 for 7 consecutive weeks making it the longest-running airplay number one single at the time.
5) Miss You Much
This song was written by Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis; along with production done by them and Janet. The song was inspired by a letter written to Jimmy Jam from one of his ex-girlfriends who signed it with "Miss You Much". The song details the pain, desperation and mixed feelings somebody has when they reflect on an old lover. It truly is a shameless attempt to try and win somebody back. Janet's vocals soar over the funky hard hitting production and really sells the lyrics of the song. In my opinion it is one of Janet's biggest ear worms! This song was Number #1 on the Hot 100 for 4 consecutive weeks (making it the longest running #1 single of 1989), along with reaching #1 on the Dance Club Songs chart & Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart. The song was the 2nd best-selling single of the entire year and was the biggest radio hit of the year. It sold over 4 million copies worldwide, along with being certified Platinum in the US. (Janet is infamous for never updating her certifications but that is a story for another time...). Miss You Much received 2 Grammy Nominations, won a Billboard Award for the Top Hot 100 Single of the Year and won 2 American Music Awards.
This track is this ferocious groovy electronic dance song about all of us having to confront the fictitious versions of our lives. When discussing the song Janet said, “Those versions need to be challenged, because ultimately we have to take responsibility for ourselves-where we've been and where we're going”. Janet melts the listeners face with this deep voice that we have not heard up until this point, to really add anger & power to what she is singing. She fearlessly scrutinizes herself telling us (and herself), “You can’t hide from you… You gotta mean what you say You gotta say what you mean Tryin to please everyone Sacrifice your own needs Check in the mirror my friend No lies will be told then Pointin the finger again You can't blame nobody but you” This proves to us once we have entered Janet’s velvet rope she is not holding back, she bravely takes accountability for being the only one in control of your life & your own happiness which is incredibly personal, but manages to have a universal message we can all apply to ourselves.
Omg where to even start to talk with this song. The production that masterfully somehow combines new jack swing, industrial, dance pop, hip hop, rock and R&B to create something so innovative and progressive? Janet’s incredible vocal delivery over incredibly hard melodies? The iconic breakdown and choreography? The unapologetical interest in voyeurism Janet expresses in the song’s lyrics? How a 2007 study declared the music video for this song “influence(d) a higher degree of sexual freedom among young women” and how it was responsible for influencing the surge in the 90s of women aged 18-24 who said they had received oral sex from a man? The legacy and impact it had on generations of future pop stars and music videos as a whole? It was and still is an absolute trail blazing song that truly was a cultural reset.
2) New Agenda
To the casual fan it might surprise them the song that best tackled social justice is not even on the Rhythm Nation 1814 album, but the album that followed after it janet. On this track Janet created a black feminist anthem that has stood the test of time and is incredibly relevant to today. The production is urgent sounding, has beautiful instrumentals and is among my favorites of any song in her entire career. Janet details how black people have their history hidden from themselves, how systemic racism tries to rob black people of their humanity, how she heard no too many times because of her race and gender, how she learned to “stand tall with pride [as an African-American woman]” and featured the rapper Chuck D which was incredibly rare at the time and one of the earliest instances of a pop star featuring a rapper on their song. Janet ends with a rallying cry of “wanting black people to rejoice because it is our time after all that we have been through” to create a new agenda that works for and empowers them.
1) Together Again (Radio Edit)
Originally made as a ballad about the friends she has had that died due to AIDS, Janet decided to make this song more up-tempo. Janet said this when asked about the song, “I don't believe in the finality of death. I wanted to write about friends who have died of AIDS, but without being mournful or sad. I wanted to celebrate their spirit. I'm pleased that Together Again is just that-a celebration, a confirmation that the energy of love will never die”. Janet had to fight incredibly hard against her label to feature this song on the album because they didn’t think it was good idea & too risky of a concept. The song features incredibly production that really captures the sound of celebrating the life of a loved one. It has this perfect balance of sweetness that heals your hurt, but still gives you a lump in your throat. It is my number one song because it encapsulates everything I love and admire about Janet Jackson; fearless forward thinker, risk taker, her deep caring for people, ability to flawlessly create a catchy & danceable song and make people feel comforted & understood through her art.
Playlist I have created a Spotify Playlist for the 46/50 songs available on streaming and provided clickable youtube links above in The List to the 4 songs not on streaming.
Further Reading You can find and read all my Janet Jackson write ups here <3 which include:
This is the most time I have ever spent on any of writings due the days worth of prep to form the list; surpassing my proudest writing project the breakdown of the entire Rhythm Nation 1814 era for it's 30th anniversary.
Hope you enjoyed and can't wait to read your thoughts <3
submitted by JunkyGS to popheads [link] [comments]
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2020.08.26 12:43 Man_in_a_V Voyeur car videos sex
My GF and I were filmed having sex in the parking lot of my company, and I don’t want to get fired or get criminal charges.
I know all the mistakes I made. I don’t need any more admonitions about what to do or not do next time; I want advice on how to keep my job and stay out of jail. (Still don’t tell me I screwed up and to not do that again. I clearly know this already.)
I work for a company that contracts at this faith-based hospital.
After work, my GF was at my car. We got in the back seat and got frisky. (I hadn’t seen her in 2 months and she had bad news from her family which made her stressed, and it changed to a sudden need to relieve stress for her.) All clothes stayed on but she was on my lap and we had sex. From outside the car no skin could have been seen (or filmed). (She had a short skirt on.) — Because of the thrusting and the positions, it would be reasonable to assume that we were having sex or that we were really good actors just grinding.
As we finished we noticed that an angry woman had been filming us. Not sure if she got my license plate. (My plate is registered with the facility.) A security guy pulled up just as we were driving away. I’m sure the lady called them.
So my fear is that she turned the video over to hospital security, and that they got my license plate number, and they’ll figure out who I am, contact my employer who will either fire me or ban me from that facility at that facility’s request.
Also, I’m an advance practice nurse with a license. I worry that if everyone wants to come down on me that it could go bad for my license.
And then there’s the legal issue of “public lewd conduct”. It was a secluded place in the far corner of a parking lot, but apparently not secluded enough.
I’m waiting to see what, if anything happens. This just happened yesterday.
What’s my best defense? If it’s just the hospital that contacts me, should remain silent and let a lawyer? Does that policy work with an employer?
Again, no need to tell me what I did wrong. I know what I did. If you just think I should confess to everything, I don’t need that advice either.
TL;DR Got filmed having sex in a car at work. Should I get a lawyer and remain silent, or should I try to talk my way out of it by making excuses and downplaying what happened? Should I ask to see the video before confessing to anything?
[Edit] I’m aware that I can get fired. I wonder if the woman who filmed us can be charged with Video Voyeurism. She may a concerted and prolonged effort to get close to our car when there was no reason to. Her car was 10 spots away from us. If she had stayed back, she would have only seen the car rocking a bit and our heads and us facing each other. — She then moved closer and filmed for a long time with what I believe was the intent to shame and degrade us. As soon as we noticed her, we stopped. — We had SOME expectation of privacy given that I made an effort to park far away from any other cars and slump down in the back seat below the headrests. And we kept our clothes on. — She was being the morality police.
[Edit] No one at work said anything today. I hope this is a good sign and that it doesn’t mean that they’re building a stronger case.
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2019.12.18 18:41 Klokinator The Cryopod to Hell 080: Humanity's Future
Author note: The Cryopod to Hell is a Reddit-exclusive story with over three years of editing and refining. As of this post, the total rewrite is 196 parts long and 820,000+ words. For more information, check out the link below:
What is the Cryopod to Hell?
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Want to read the whole story without waiting? Click here. It's free!
I will be reposting the full story on HFY until I've caught up with the current timeline. During that period, I will update the reposted parts to edit them more cohesively, as well. Once I catch up, new parts will be posted on HFY and RedditSerials, alongside my main subreddit as they become available.
Thank you for reading, and enjoy.
"Whaddya mean Phoebe left?" I ask, while staring at the guard in disbelief. "She was here only four minutes ago!"
As usual, people mill around us in the Core. A goblin here, a lady there. The man before me shrugs. "They seemed agitated. I didn't want to bother Miss Berthol- I mean, Miss Hiro. She got in her truck and left. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary."
I shake my head and sigh. "Yeah, I know. Christ. I thought she'd go hang out in a corner or something. Now I have to chase her down like a weirdo. Thanks."
"Anytime, Your Majesty."
The soldier nods at me and spares only a passing glance toward Solomon's eerie ghost figure. As he pushes past, the young man seems slightly unnerved. His discomfort at the presence of a half-dead spirit might make me laugh under different circumstances. Sadly, my mind is focused entirely on finding my wife so I can apologize to her and Samantha.
Solomon watches as the soldier walks away. "It's been quite literally thousands of years since someone looked me in the eye. I'm used to staring at people's soul energy, not holding conversations on equal terms with flesh-and-blood beings."
I turn and start walking toward the gate to Tarus II. "How does that work? Staring at, err, 'soul energy,' I mean. When I spoke to you in my mind, I thought we were talking man-to-man."
"Nope. You appeared to me like a shapeless blob of milk floating in the air. The projection you saw was little more than your imagination filling in the blanks for my brilliant countenance. Of course, my Crown did provide a little assistance."
After stepping through the portal, I yawn to pop my eardrums. "Neat. Do you think Phoebe went to Hero City, or elsewhere? Maybe she and Samantha went out for a picnic."
Solomon groans. "Jason. When women are mad at you, they wish to be left alone, but generally, a picnic is not at the top of their itinerary. They'll probably chat with each other for a while, and that will be the end of it. A few boring, sexless weeks await, and you'll move past your differences."
A moment passes. I sweep my gaze around, and Solomon steps in front of me. "Do you love Phoebe?"
"Of course I do. That's a stupid question."
"And she loves you?"
"Uh. Well, yes. I don't want to use a cheesy word like 'soulmate,' but..."
"Then you have no reason to worry!" Solomon laughs while grinning like a Cheshire cat. "I've had a few million quarrels with women. For one thing, having infinite knowledge meant I was always correct, and they didn't want to admit their arguments were vastly inferior to mine. However, I often learned to say I was wrong to put an end to the quibbling. My life became much simpler as a result."
I force myself not to roll my eyes. "At least you're humble about your intelligence."
"Indeed." The king snaps his fingers. "Can't you use your Wordsmithing to find Phoebe? The sooner you apologize and own up to your mistake, the sooner we can move on to more important matters."
I stare into the distance, but I can't see Phoebe's truck anywhere. "I can use my Locate spell to track her, but after what happened with Hope, I'd rather not. I'll go home and pray she's there. It'll have to do."
"Mmm. The spying thing. Even though I barely know you, I can see your heart was in the right place. I'm sure your copycat will accept your apology."
"You're probably right. I dunno."
The two of us walk and float through the warp-gate to Tarus II and down the steps out past the security perimeter. Once I arrive on the paved road, I stand off to the side and exhale. "Man, something's bothering me about what Hope said. I called us identical, and he immediately insisted we were different. I don't understand how that can be true. I cloned him from myself barely a week ago. I could understand a few minor differences, but he acted like he was born on a different planet."
"Wasn't he?" Solomon rests his hands on his hips. "You made him here in the Labyrinth. You were born on Earth. That seems like a different planet to me."
"I mean, okay, sure, but that's nitpicking. My point is that Hope had all of my memories, my looks, my emotions, everything was identical right up to the moment of his creation. What the hell could change in a week?"
"I don't know," Solomon replies. "Not about him specifically, anyway. A person's world can change in five minutes, though. What experiences do you and he share, and what have the two of you lived differently?"
I ponder Solomon's question.
A minute passes.
"Well, Hope fought Uriel while I stayed behind. I barely know how that went. I'm married to Phoebe... but he has nobody. Now that you mention it, there are a few other differences. I didn't think they were major at first, but maybe you're onto something."
"Of course I am, you simple-minded child! I'm the bloody Knowledge-Seeker. I'm always right." Solomon groans again and spins on his heel. "Why don't you try looking at things from his perspective? If he really was you until the moment you created him, but you're the one getting married while he isn't, how would you feel if you watched Phoebe get stripped away by another man? Even if that man was technically you?"
"Well, I'd... I'd feel pretty terrible."
"Precisely. Awful, alone, confused. Hope has to reinvent his entire identity. Why, it would be like stepping from one epoch of humanity's timeline into another! A jarring and unwelcome change of scenery that would force one to adapt. Surely you know what I mean."
"I do. You're referring to the Cryopod."
"Indeed. You told me you were frightened and scared when you first emerged. It's a natural sensation when one arrives at an unknown destination. For example, if a man comes home to his faithful wife and sees her in bed with another, his existence will shatter. In an instant, he will call into question every moment they shared, every secret, and deep inside his heart, he will shift into a different person entirely. For Hope, he shares all of your memories, so I imagine that right as he was growing comfortable in his new life, met a nice girl, became a Hero that saved everyone from demons and monsters... he was suddenly torn out of all of that and told he needed to rebuild again. That's two major blows to his psyche in one year, and you're both barely out of your adolescent phases."
I stare ahead numbly, looking not at Solomon, but through him. "Wow. I never thought of that. I've been a terrible friend."
"I should have put myself in his shoes and talked to him more."
"Solomon, your snark isn't helping."
"I don't care." The King chuckles to himself about something. "Heh, the first step to solving a problem is to recognize there is one in the first place. Even the wisest sometimes struggle with that."
This time it's me who groans. "You're so humble. I'm going to make a vehicle. Gimme a sec."
I take a minute to imagine the inner workings of my Ferrari. Its contours, the engine. Before I finish, Solomon speaks. "Hold on. What are you imagining?"
"A car. I have a Ferrari I like to drive."
"Yes. I can see the image in your head. But a vehicle that drives on wheels will be significantly slower and more dangerous than a hovercraft or even a spaceship. Here, let me assist you."
Solomon closes his eyes. A moment later, his mouth opens.
"SAEN DHA WUSNR UL DHA WERR I LAAN DU RAA DHA FAISCRA AED DHA ELDARUFA FIRD UID DHA FIL ELN SHAARA ELN RAD'R SERR AID E NEIRR."
Solomon speaks a series of unintelligible, screechy sounds that nearly make me yank the Crown off my head. Whatever he's saying, they aren't words. Even the Crown can't translate them for me.
He opens his eyes. "There. I've loaded up a basic template for a miniature spacecraft. With this, you can house a crew of up to four people comfortably."
Solomon's design appears in my mind. The ship looks like something from a sci-fi movie, with a sleek silver hull, a pointed nose, an engine on each wing, and a hyperdrive in the back.
"Why the gold lining and baubles? Why did you design this ship with all these rubies and gems all over the hull? I don't understand Bedazzling the exterior of a spaceship."
Solomon scoffs. "You're the bloody Hero! You need to travel in style! People respect and fawn over those who cover themselves in riches and jewelry. It's only natural for the almighty Hero to make people stop and stare when he flies past."
"I think you're going a little too far."
"Psh. I knew you'd complain. I resisted the urge to make the entire exterior solid-gold, but you still whine like a billy goat."
"I'm not whining."
Solomon rolls his eyes. He flaps his hands at me and says in a mocking voice, "I'm not whining."
I sigh. "Solomon... I don't know if anyone has ever told you this before... but you're an asshole sometimes."
"Only sometimes? It's supposed to be constant."
"At least you don't deny it."
I aim my mind at an empty area of the road and speak aloud. "Ship."
Within five seconds, the spacecraft materializes and gently plunks onto the asphalt. It's much bigger in person compared to my mind, standing twenty feet tall, thirty feet wide, and about eighty-feet long. Considering all of the internal mechanisms, it's probably significantly smaller inside.
The entry platform lowers. I walk over to it and grumble to myself about the stupid rhinestones, rubies, and gems embedded all over the side of the craft. A Bedazzled spacecraft is the opposite of badass.
Solomon follows me. Once inside, I gaze around and take in the sights. It's much roomier than I expected, with a single unbroken hallway leading all the way to the beds in the back, bathrooms in the middle, and an open dining area along the way. I expected something akin to a large RV, but it's more like a small house.
I make my way to the cockpit and sit down. Thanks to the Crown, I know what every button, knob, and dial does, but it still feels very... alien.
Solomon sits in the co-pilot seat. "We should give this beautiful lady a name."
"Oh, I don't know. Something extravagant and mysterious, exuding warmth and wealth."
"None of those adjectives belong in the same sentence."
"Bloody hell, not this again. Always with the complaining..." Solomon trails off. "Ah, I've got it! How about Esther?"
"You want me to name the ship... Esther?"
"Sure! It's a beautiful name! Esther was one of only two women to have an entire book of the Holy Bible devoted to them. The other was my great-great-grandmother, Ruth."
Solomon pauses for a moment before continuing. "Have you, perchance, ever read the Bible?"
"A bit, but only if one of my foster families dragged me to church. I'm more into ancient Greek and Roman philosophy. The Bible didn't do it for me."
Solomon purses his lips. "So that's how it is, eh?"
"I read about you!"
That satisfies him. "Good. My appearance is the most important part of the entire Bible."
"Okay, now you've gone too far. You're not more important than Jesus."
"Sure, I am."
"Yeah, okay. If you say so."
I turn away from him and activate the ship's thrusters. Several button presses later, it ascends into the sky. A sensation of disorientation hits me as we ascend. The gradual climb is so smooth that looking through the windows outside is more like watching a television screen. I don't feel the movement at all.
Solomon reads my mind. "Inertia dampeners."
By the time Esther has hovered a hundred feet up, my eyes raise to the stars above.
Solomon leans back in his chair. "Let's take a detour, Jason."
I've spent months using my new powers, and never once did I consider venturing into space. Now that I'm here, I can't believe myself. I was an idiot.
Thousands, millions, perhaps billions of specks of light dot the sky. Far in the distance, Tarus II's sun, Vorus, burns radiantly. Its light would usually damage my eyes, but thanks to ultraviolet shielding on Esther's front window, it doesn't.
Two small moons orbit Tarus II. Esther highlights several points of interest in the space around our planet, including a comet and an asteroid caught in orbit.
Solomon rubs his hands together. "Breathtaking, isn't it? I remember my first time leaving Earth's atmosphere. I saw several videos of astronauts and the Moon Landing, but entering space is different compared to watching videos or looking at images."
"Yeah. It's something else. Takes my breath away."
"The Volgrim and the Demons own much, if not all of the galaxy by now. The stars we see are only those nearest us within a thousand light-years or so. I would be surprised if any of them were free of the reach of our enemies."
I slump in my seat. "A hundred thousand years is a long time... but surely there must be some planets they haven't defiled yet? Is it even possible to colonize millions of planets in only tens of thousands of years?"
"Perhaps not thousands," Solomon murmurs. "But the Volgrim are an ancient species, descending from ancestors millions of years older than humanity. They had plenty of time to colonize the galaxy long before they met our species."
Solomon's eyes turn distant. "Humans believed they were alone in the universe for thousands of years. Despite our awareness of angels, beings who once lived among the stars, we arrogantly viewed ourselves as the lone seed of life drifting throughout the infinite void. We were wrong. Even I held incorrect assumptions, as I did not learn of the Volgrim's existence until the rest of my species did."
"The Milky Way is a single speck among billions of other specks. Our pretty little spiral houses tens of thousands of habitable worlds, and the Volgrim have long since laid claim to most, if not all of them. They watched humanity's rise from the primordial soup with the same dispassionate gaze as they did all the other planets teeming with life. It was only once we achieved a certain technological epoch that their worried gazes fell upon us. Thus began the Energy Wars."
"You mentioned the Energy Wars before," I say. "I know we ultimately lost, but did we stand any chance of winning at all?"
"Solomon sighs. "No. We were about as threatening to the Volgrim as an ant to a boot. Even had I joined my intellect with King Arthur's might and Joan of Arc's courage, we would have inevitably lost the war, so powerful was the fist of our oppressors."
"I have Wordsmithing, though," I say. "Maybe you three couldn't have saved humanity, but I could. I should have been able to do something."
"Don't blame yourself, Jason. I suspect you entered the cryopod as part of the Creator's divine will. Had you fought on Earth, you might have perished along with the rest of humanity. Things are not always as they seem."
I sigh. "Maybe so, but I still feel guilty every day. I wish I had done something. I wish I could go back and fix everything."
"Regret is a crucial part of life's adventure," Solomon says, solemnly. "Everyone has regrets. Even me."
A few moments pass. The ancient king sighs. "We've admired the view. Now, let us return home. I thought taking a short break from all your worries to see a purer form of the universe would do you some good. Sadly, duty calls."
Instead of turning the ship back toward Tarus II, I stare at the moon orbiting Tarus II. "Hey, maybe this is a stupid question, but how hospitable would you say Kelkin is? Tarus II's moon, I mean."
Solomon glances at the displays on Esther's scanners, detailing the readouts on the distant grey globe. "It resides in the brown-level Goldilocks zone. While technically colonizable, Kelkin isn't self-sustaining. Given its lack of atmosphere and methane-ice surface, it would take a tremendous amount of effort to terraform."
"Right..." I mutter. "But I have Wordsmithing. The Volgrim and Demons don't."
Solomon stares at me for a moment, then turns to gaze at Kelkin. "Oh. That's an interesting idea. You're smarter than I expected, Jason Hiro."
"Your compliments feel like insults."
"Haha, take my words however you like."
A smile spreads across my face. "That's the trick, Solomon. We might not need to seek out colonizable planets. Maybe I can make my own and expand humanity's borders in a way that even the Volgrim can't."
Solomon taps his chin. "Terraforming is a costly feat the Volgrim only use when a planet is already sufficiently within the Goldilocks zone. A moon like Kelkin would be terrible for their technological capabilities. They could transform it into a habitable world, but it would take centuries and require an enormous amount of resources. If your Wordsmithing is capable of turning barren, desolate worlds into functional Earths, you'll have a huge leg up on the Volgrim."
Solomon leans forward. A huge smile spreads across his face.
"So how about it? Try terraforming the moon."
Immediately, I shake my head. "Sorry, Solomon, but no can do. I don't have a millionth the magical capacity I need to pull off world-scale Wordsmithing. Hell, just trying to create a couple of generic three-story buildings nearly killed me. If I want to terraform Kelkin, it will take me several years, working in tiny increments. The only solution that will speed up the process is a massive boost to my mana capacity."
Solomon's smile disappears. "Oh. I see. I don't yet understand all the intricacies of your life and powers. My apologies. Perhaps I'll spend tonight performing a deep-mind search to see if I can come up with a workaround."
I raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean by 'deep-mind search'? That sounds... invasive."
"You're wearing my crown, Jason," Solomon says, offering a kindly smile. "The moment you put it on, my artifact downloaded all of your memories and knowledge, just as it has with countless other people. Where do you think I obtained my knowledge of theoretical physics, quantum mechanics, and other such complex scientific branches? I combined the experience and memories of countless geniuses to advance my own knowledge of the universe!"
Slowly, I nod. "So... you can see all of my memories? All the embarrassing stuff that's happened to me? All of my, um... private thoughts?"
Solomon facepalms. "Yes, yes. Don't you worry, though, boy. That unflattering moment from when you were fourteen and Lindsey rejected you is a far cry from some of the things I saw in Einstein's memories. Your minor blunders are hardly worth my attention when I've seen things that would make former world leaders blush with shame."
Solomon's words make me lower my eyes. "...Sh-she didn't reject me..."
"No, no, my dear boy. You rejected her. Of course."
Hearing Solomon bring up one of my embarrassing moments from high school makes me want to crawl in a ditch and die.
I tap Esther's controls, turn the ship around, and head back to Tarus II. "...Let's call it a day."
"Haha. Yes, let's."
The atmosphere of Tarus burns around the ship as we begin our rapid descent.
I glance at Solomon. "So, uh... I have a question."
"You're the first Hero I've met. In-person, I mean. Can you tell me more about yourself? Your magic?"
Solomon rubs his chin thoughtfully. "I never experimented with my magic. I was lucky to be born during a time of relative peace. I engaged in minor skirmishes against the demons here and there occasionally, but I never needed to exercise my heroic powers on the field of battle."
"Oh? What were your abilities?"
Both of us gaze out at the long reach of a massive ocean as we fly lower and lower into Tarus II's atmosphere. "I don't know. My attributes leaned heavily toward intellect, rather than strength and agility. I think I possessed some ability to conjure holy energy, but I never used it in my day to day life."
"I guess you didn't need to. You know, being a king and all."
"Mmm." Solomon turns his head to look at me. "Say, Jason... something has been bothering me for a while. Regarding your status as a Hero, that is."
We quickly fly past the ocean and over the mountaintops. Hero City, built on a plateau, grows visible in the distance. Several of Bahamut's pyramids rise in the distance, giving the oddly modern-looking city a hybrid feeling of past-meets-present. It proves quite jarring.
"Heroes typically were men and women of great influence. The Heroic Aura sought out those most likely to use their abilities for the greater good. Commoners rarely gained such power. Therefore, this begs the question of why it would possess you. After all, you are a relatively normal youth. Were your parents wealthy or famous?"
I shake my head. "I don't remember them. I know my mother died before my second birthday. My father gave me up for adoption."
"He did? Strange." Solomon shakes his head. "Do you remember who he was?"
"No. The little I know is because of a few official documents I used to travel with between foster homes. As far as I'm concerned, my parents both died when I was a child."
My answer seems to satisfy Solomon, and he gazes at the specter of Hero City as we fly closer. While I bring the ship down to land in an empty field, the king nods slowly. "So you didn't know your parents, and you have the Heroic Spirit. Perhaps they knew of your importance. They might have been wealthy aristocrats or descendants of a royal bloodline. That would explain your abilities."
"I suppose that's possible. My father didn't leave me any money though, so I don't think he was wealthy. You might be grasping at straws. Didn't you imply the Heroic Aura sometimes possesses those not born from an important bloodline?"
"I did, but a circumstance like that was scarce. Only a dozen or so cases that I know of."
The ship touches down a hundred feet from the city's perimeter. Forty curious onlookers peep out from behind a building. They must have seen Esther's arrival, and now they're worried we might be enemies.
Solomon chews on his thumb. "You know, Jason... the last time a Hero appeared was around the beginning of the 20th century. I always wondered what happened to his descendants."
"That does sound strange," I say, noncommittally. "I don't know anything about the past Heroes, though. Well, other than Joan and Arthur."
"Those are the ones everyone's heard of, along with me," Solomon says with a wink. "How unfortunate that so many have forgotten the names of Jepthath, Caesar, and Sir Lorent."
Solomon and I both stand up and walk toward the exit hatch. The ramp extends down, and when the crowd of onlookers sees us, a collective sigh of relief fills the air.
A few men, along with one Salamander, wander over. I recognize Ogie immediately.
"Sweet 'n salty walnuts! You scared the stools out of us," the Salamander says. "What in Sam-heck is that flyin' bullet thing?"
"It's a spaceship," I reply, not wanting to go into much detail. I notice several people looking at Solomon questioningly, so I decide to take him down a notch. "This guy is a ghost friend of mine named Solomon. He's nobody important."
The king gawks. "I beg your pardon?!"
"Yeah, you heard me, grandpa. Wave at the townsfolk."
Solomon grumbles something under his breath. I only make out a few choice curses.
Several minutes later, he and I arrive at the front of Bahamut's old palace, now redesignated my official home.
The king curls his lip up. "You're slumming it, then?"
"What? This is the best place in the city! Huge rooms, full course meals, all that good stuff."
"The aesthetic is dreadful. It looks like an average-sized office building. Have you no Heroic pride?"
"We went over this already."
"I don't care. It's still shameful. I'm surprised Saul allowed my spiritual descendant to live in such a horrid environment. When I see him next, I'm going to gouge his useless eyes out."
I cringe at his vivid description. "I don't think you need to go that far."
"Yes, but after all the training I gave him, he's making me look bad. Maybe I'll only flay an inch of skin from his body. Even I can be merciful."
I decide not to comment. We enter my home, and every step becomes unbearable as Solomon comments on this drab ornament or that ugly trinket, or how the lighting isn't complimentary. Multiple times, he begs me to use my Wordsmithing to change the walls to gold and silver. I do my best to tune him out.
We make our way upstairs, and eventually, arrive at my bedroom door. When I open it, I catch the tail end of Phoebe speaking. "-his fault. I think he misunderstood. That's all."
"Yes, but it was hurtful. After everything I've done to help the humans, I just... I thought people would treat me differently. They still act like I'm part of a demon conspiracy to kill-"
Samantha stops talking. She turns around to the doorway as Solomon and I enter. I wince at the tears on her face. "Uh... um... bad time? I can come back later..."
The succubus quickly looks away and wipes her face. "It's fine. I should return to my room anyway."
"Wait, hold on." I hold my hand up. "Samantha- I'm sorry. I came all the way here to say that. I overheard Hope saying something, and I jumped the gun. I shouldn't have accused you of anything. That was wrong of me."
The succubus's tail flicks around nervously. Samantha continues to sit on the bed without making any effort to get up, and stares at her crossed legs. "An apology. I don't know why, but I didn't expect that."
Phoebe stares at me. Her face shows anger, but everything else about her appears contemplative, as though she's spent the better part of twenty minutes playing devil's advocate on my behalf to try and explain my actions.
She's too good for me.
"I'm glad you came, Jason. We were talking about you the whole time."
"I, uh, figured as much."
My wife's eyes look to the ghostly figure standing beside me. "You brought a friend?"
Before I can reply, Samantha turns around to look at me, but she registers Solomon as well. She starts to say something, but pauses a moment before speaking. "Do I know you?"
Solomon shakes his head and beams a grin at her. "I'm Solomon. One of the ancient kings, also known as the smartest being in existence. I doubt we've met, for I could never forget one as beautiful as yourself."
His flattery doesn't affect her. "You're right. I'd remember someone as braggadocious as you. You do look familiar, but it's probably the whole royalty getup. I've known a few kings."
Solomon slides over to the bed and sits down, though his body makes no impression on the covers. "I wish I'd been one of them."
"Smooth." Samantha rolls her eyes and turns back to me, forgetting Solomon exists within the span of two seconds. "Jason. I should have told you I was a shapeshifter. I owe you an apology too. I didn't realize that humans would value appearances so much. If it makes you feel any better, this is my natural body. I don't enhance it in the slightest."
I blink. "Wait... I think there's been a misunderstanding... I wasn't worried about you abusing your, um, sex appeal. It was more of an espionage issue."
A bead of sweat drips down my back.
Come on, Jason! You just apologized, and now you're going to imply she's a shapeshifter who wants to infiltrate us for some nefarious purpose?! Talk about ruining the goodwill you just built!!
...No. I have to tell the truth. I have to tell Samantha what I saw. No more lying.
I lean against the wall. "Here's the deal. I used 'Locate' and overheard Hope and Neil talking. They said that you... that you betrayed Uriel. You killed her or something. I don't know the details. On top of that, you can manipulate the emotions and feelings of those around you, and you can change your appearance. It was wrong of me to jump to conclusions, especially after you saved my life and Phoebe's in our battle against Amelia and Satan. However, surely you can see how combined with not wanting me to see the files about the Volgrim, I might assume you were-"
"You saw the files?" Samantha interrupts me. Her voice turns cold as ice. "After I warned you not to look... you examined them anyway?"
Samantha lowers her head. "Jason... you crossed a line you shouldn't have."
"So what if I know about the aliens? What's the big problem?"
Samantha flicks her eyes to Phoebe uneasily. She wants to keep the information about the Volgrim as tight-lipped as possible.
A moment later, she seems to realize I'll tell Phoebe later anyway, so there's no point being secretive.
"The problem is that nobody but the Emperors and Dukes know of the Volgrim's existence. No other demons, no monsters, and certainly no humans... nobody. It's part of our treaty. Due to issues we've had with uprisings in the past, the Volgrim only agreed to a cease-fire under the condition that we keep our arrogant elements in check. The moment word gets out about them and reaches any loose-lipped fellow; their weapons will train on us."
"Alright. I suppose you have a point. I don't really understand, but if that's the case, why let anyone have access to files like we found?"
Samantha pulls on a loose string of hair. "You used that Crown, didn't you? Nobody should be able to decipher the computer files left behind except Ose. She's the one who devised all the systems that keep humans and demons in check. I don't know much about technology, nor do most demons, but she's a genius when it comes to it. Under normal circumstances, nobody I know could decipher those files. You're probably the only person who can."
A slight tinge of pride burns in my heart. Yeah, damn straight! I'm a genius too!
Solomon smirks at me. His thoughts transmit into my mind. Only by using my power.
"Well, Samantha, it's too late now. I saw the files. Oh, and when I did, Ose appeared inside my mind. She tried to take over my body, but she awakened Solomon instead, and he saved me."
A lightbulb pops up above Phoebe's head. She looks from me to my crown and then to Solomon. "Ahh! Solomon! His crown! He's the man who... oh my gosh!"
Solomon snaps his fingers. "Yes! Now you understand! Tis' I, the most incredible, brilliant, and good-looking man who ever lived! I'm surprised it took you this long to realize!"
Phoebe's surprise melts away instantly. "Oh. You're that kind of person."
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing. Never mind."
Solomon might be the most knowledgeable man in existence, but even he doesn't know everything. The thought comforts me.
Samantha shifts on the bed and turns her whole body toward me. Seeing the front of the voluptuous succubus instantly gets my hormones raging, but I immediately suppress them.
"Jason, we both made mistakes. Let's call it even and move on, okay?"
I nod. "That's fair."
In the back of my mind, a nagging concern buzzes like an angry blowfly. Despite my immediate agreement with her words, I pivot on a dime. "Well, one thing. I do have to ask... What happened with Uriel? Can you explain that to me?"
She shrugs. "It was a long time ago. Some people change in a day; some people need a few years. How much would you change if a hundred thousand years passed?"
"A lot, I suppose. I still would like to know what happened, though."
The succubus sighs.
"I did what Satan ordered. Back then, we all did." Samantha grips her leg firmly. A look of unease appears on her face. "It was part of a day in history known as the War in Heaven. Ninety-nine percent of all demons died, as did the majority of all angels. It was a bloodbath unlike any other. My job was to infiltrate and eliminate the forward guard so our forces could enter Heaven. I followed my orders. We made it inside. There isn't much to say otherwise."
"But... you killed Uriel, right?"
Samantha's face turns ashen. "No! I would never do that! I wounded her badly, yes, but I hate killing. I'm a pacifist, Jason. I only fight if it's necessary."
"Sure, but you rushed back to the Labyrinth earlier to battle her as soon as that one Duke guy gave the word."
"He's a Baron, and his name is Orias." Samantha shakes her head in annoyance. "I have obligations to the demons, Jason. More importantly, Uriel is a threat not only to my people but yours as well. She's a dangerous, unhinged lunatic who kills for sport. By the time Hope and I arrived, she had slain nearly a hundred thousand of my people. Would you prefer I let her rampage around unchecked?"
"I suppose not."
"Good." Samantha waves her hand at me, flippantly. "Perhaps you should ask Hope what the battle against her was like. He nearly died, after all."
The succubus seethes for a moment. "I wonder why Hope would say bad things about me after we fought together. Perhaps I should speak to him. The two of you are very aggravating sometimes."
Phoebe smiles and rubs Samantha's shoulder. "Yeah, that's men for you. But he's all mine!"
"Tch. You can keep him," Samantha says. However, despite her words, a trace of a smile appears on her face.
I breathe a sigh of relief. Samantha doesn't hate me after all. Thank god.
Several minutes later, Samantha stands up and adjusts her clothing. "Well, um, sorry for weeping like a child. I'll be heading to my room now, Phoebe."
Phoebe waggles her fingers in the air. "See you around, Sammy. Drop by anytime!"
"Trust me; I will."
Samantha walks past me as I sit on the bed. She stops a few feet away. "Jason, if you don't keep hold of Phoebe, I'll take her for myself."
She leaves the room and closes the door.
Now only Phoebe, Solomon, and I remain.
My wife glances at the ghostly man sitting beside me on the edge of the bed. "So... how is this going to work?"
"I don't know what you mean."
Her cheeks burn red. "Is Solomon going to follow you everywhere? All the time?"
The king responds before I can think of an answer. "Oh, there won't be any problems. Just pretend I'm not here! I'll stand and watch silently as you two do whatever it is that young newlyweds do!"
Phoebe's expression flattens. "That's not going to happen."
"I don't like lecherous old men. That's why." Phoebe points at the Crown. "Make sure you take that off, tonight."
"Yeah. I will," I say with a smile. "No way this voyeur's getting a peep show."
Solomon's face turns crestfallen. "B-but Jason! I thought we were friends!! Phoebe is far more beautiful than the fairest lily in the bluest pond! Please, don't take away the only thing this poor old man lives for!"
I lift the crown off my head. Solomon vanishes, leaving Phoebe and me alone.
"Yeah, that sealed the deal."
I set the crown on the dresser beside the bed, then turn to my wife and smile. "A lot of stuff happened today."
"Mhmmm..." Phoebe flops onto her back and traces a circle on her collarbone. "I'm still mad at you for making Sammy cry."
"Aw, c'mon. I apologized!"
"Yes, but you didn't apologize to me."
Phoebe closes her eyes. "Okay. That'll do."
Grinning giddily, I reach for my belt buckle. "Great! Now that we're married, let's get out of these clothes!"
"Somehow, I knew that would be the only thing on your mind."
Inwardly, I wince.
Images of two thousand demon heads exploding appear in my mind.
"No... not the only thing."
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2019.12.04 21:33 Boop108 The Female Prisoner Scorpion Series - sorry that the write up is so long but I loved these films!
In the span of just two years, 1972 to 1973, a series of four films were made in Japan by The Toei Company. The first three were all directed by Shunya Itō, and all four starred Meiko Kaji. The series was based on a manga by Toru Shinohara. The four films make for an astonishing group that incorporates an amazing array of techniques and approaches to filmmaking.
Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion (1972)
Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion was director Shunya Itō’s debut in the film industry. Of the four films this one is the most likely to fit the expectations of the ticket buyer. Naked women are on display almost immediately. We are treated to sadomasochistic scenes, lesbian sex, torture and general bullying. Its all just what you would expect of any film in the women in prison genre. However just as the film fulfills expectations right from the start so does it exceed those expectations. The cinematography, the fauvist lighting, the extreme angels and close ups, all let you know right away that you are witnessing something out of the ordinary.
Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion is certainly a sexploitation film and therefore lessoned by its simplicity and exploitative nature. It is very creative and even smart in many ways but it is also dragged down by its misogyny. It is far better than Caged Heat, Chained Heat, Black Mama White Mama,The Big Doll House or any other film in the genre, but that does not preclude it treading on some of the same degrading territory that the others do.
However Amidst the genre tropes there are impressive and wonderful moments.There is shower scene that turns from licentious voyeurism to a demonic kabuki in the flash of an eye. Matsu is being chased by a fellow inmate when suddenly, as if possessed, the inmate turns bright turquoise and her face transforms into a demon mask. Nothing is explained its just thrown at you as if it belongs in the reality of the film. Its audacious moves like these that elevate this first film beyond sexploitation, but its the next two films where Itō’ really shines.
Female Prisoner Scorpion: Jailhouse 41 (1972)
If a movie goer bought a ticket to see Female Prisoner Scorpion: Jailhouse 41 expecting a continuation of what they had seen in the first film they were in for a surprise. No nude ladies in the shower here. There is very little nudity at all, save the scene when an inmate hikes up her shirt to reveal the scar on her belly where she stabbed her unborn child to death. This is an entirely different movie than its predecessor.
In a 1997 interview Meiko Kaji the lead actress, said, “the consciousness of each successive film became more and more grotesque, more radical, just to maintain the audience, to make sure the pictures were a hit.” Often in sequels the way filmmakers “maintain an audience” is through more nudity, sex, explosions, blood and car chases, but in this case Itō choose to decrease all of those things and to push cinematic experimentation even further instead. The films get increasingly more artificial, mannered and abstract.
The cinematic ideas in this second film are bold and beautiful. Our stone cold heroine, watches an old woman die in the forest. When the old woman takes her last breath a neon purple light turns her body into a luminescent vision. Then a storm of multicolored fall leaves explodes on the screen and cover up the body. The wind dies down and Matsu removes a knife form the old woman’s hand. With her dreadful and determined face Matsu watches as the wind rushes back and blows away the leaves to reveal that all traces of the dead woman are gone. Suddenly the forest and all its leaves turn to grey and we stare at Matsu, the Scorpion, standing in a colorless landscape. She slowly waves the knife in front of her eyes and the wind returns one final time to torment Scorpion’s hair. As her hair comes to life it is lit by the fall colors that are missing all around her. Its breathtaking!
The film is full of surprising bursts of beauty and deeply courageous experiments that create exciting cinematic passages. Watching Citizen Kane it becomes obvious that the film was meant as a portfolio of everything Welles was capable of. It is very impressive but the overall effect can feel cold. Instead of a deep investment in the characters and acting we get a tour force of camera angles and editing. Not so with with the Scorpion films. There is an ecstatic revere unfolding in these films. They are ambitious like Citizen Kane in their creative variety but they hold together as a poetic, baroque whole.
As for Matsu, she is almost completely silent in all four films. Meiko Kaji’s portrayal is amazing. Not only does her character not speak, her face almost never moves from a dead, affectless stare. It sounds cliche but its all in here eyes. She changes their shape, she changes how open they are, she changes how often she blinks and with just that as a basis of communication she delivers a profoundly powerful performance.
Female Prisoner Scorpion: Beast Stable (1973)
This film does not take place in a prison and so it has no anchor to link it to one genre or one set of expectations. There are noir elements and posturing yakuza elements, there are the sexploitation and prurient violence elements, and a kind of Wild at Heart/Wizard of Oz thing going on as well. It is even more broad in its approach and scope than its predecessor.
The opening scene is just astounding. We see Scorpion dressed in ordinary clothes sitting on a subway car amongst a crowd. The police enter the car and try to catch her. In the process the ranking officer manages to handcuff her arm to his, but she lunges out of the car just as the door closes. The policeman’s arm is stuck in the doors and so she hacks it off with a carving knife. The opening credits of the film roll while we watch her run through the streets with a severed arm cuffed to her wrist. It flaps wildly as she runs leaving a trail of shocked pedestrians in her wake.
As before this film is made with passionate abandon. They try out everything. There is a scene in a bar with so many jump cuts it starts to look like stop motion. There are passages done in negative, hyper-close ups, theatrical lighting, but never does Itō lose control of the film. It is all presented with consummate skill and careful attention. These grainy films may be churned out on cheap budgets but Itō doesn’t let it get in his way.
In the middle of this hurricane of a film there is profoundly beautiful moment of transcendence worthy of Tarkovsky. My jaw actually dropped open when I saw it. Matsu is hiding in the sewers and her friend, Yuki, is trying to find her. Yuki calls Scorpion’s name over and over through the manholes while dropping lit matches through the small openings. We follow from Yuki’s perspective but eventually we see Scorpion’s point of view and we watch while the plaintiff echo of “Scorpion” reverberates all through the dark tunnels. Then we see the little balls of fire fall. Its hypnotizing and just as you are noticing the beauty hundreds of little fireballs begin to float down from everywhere. There is no reason given, no explanation, its just an invitation to a beautiful reverie of sight and sound. Its a dream seamlessly mixed into reality.
Female Prisoner #701’s Grudge Song (1973)
The last of the four films was directed by Yasuharu Hasebe. Female Prisoner #701’s Grudge Song is not a bad film, but it isn’t that good either. There is some effort put into carrying on the visual innovation and excitement of the previous three films but this one just doesn’t quite pull it off. As a whole the film is more conventional and takes fewer risks.
The first three films had outrageous depth of field shots and vertiginous camera angles where as this film seemed far more shallow and balanced in appearance.
The films taken as a whole present a complex image of women. Most of the salacious material is in the first film but there is a little in each of them. Setting that aside for a moment we see a tangle of different ideas. The women are subject to a lot of abuse. This in itself is not a problem it is why the abuse is depicted that matters. It is clear that the suffering of these women is meant to make the audience identify with them. We come to understand their situation better and through it their motivations.
One of the most telling scenes occurs in the first film where Matsu is raped. To insure the viewer understands who’s side we are on the assault is filmed from underneath the floor as if it were happening on a sheet of glass. Her back is to the viewer and we see the grimacing rictuses of venial enthusiasm on her assailants as they tear into her. This is a depiction of rape that degrades the perpetrator. They look like feral beasts. There is no eroticism here.
Not all the scenes are as clear cut as this. Films that take as many risks as this are bound to cross lines, or redraw them, or eliminate them. The two middle films, Female Prisoner Scorpion: Jailhouse 41, Female Prisoner Scorpion: Beast Stable, manage to deliver a powerful message about women in society that could be seen as both dark as well as empowering. Matsu hardly ever speaks in these films, but her silence is not one of submission, its a Clint Eastwood silence. Some of the abuses she suffers are not so much oppression as they are an opportunity to highlight her hard as nails toughness.
This grand quadrilogy is unfortunately marginalized with labels like cult, Pinku, Grindhouse or sexploitation. Its a shame that such a substantive and well crafted set of films doesn’t get more attention. A few of them are available on DVD and there is an out of print box set on Blu-ray, but films like these are in danger of disappearing under the overwhelming tide of streaming video.
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