Hot mum sex pics

For what definition is - for anything : for all : as far as. How to use for what in a sentence. The only difference would be that some people insist that you should not end a sentence with a preposition. (This has been asked both at ELU and here on ELL.). Those people would consider the sentence "What are you going to die for" wrong.. However, it is very common and widely accepted to end a sentence with a preposition, so both sentences are fine. For definition is - —used as a function word to indicate purpose. How to use for in a sentence. At the same time, I understand the aversion to phrases that use any type of "What...for" construction (often the aesthetics of such constructs evoke in me a similar sensation to running your nails down a chalkboard) because there are almost always better ways to say the same thing using "Why" in it's place (Why do you need that gun? - infinitely more specific than the "What...for" phrase).

2020.10.12 00:22 throwingitaway3366 Hot mum sex pics

"You are the smartest kid in the entire world"
"You are the most handsome kid in the entire world"
"All the girls will be fighting over you when you grow up"
As you can tell, my parents loved me very much. They say they still do, I'm just not sure if I believe them. And I can't say I blame them if they don't anymore.
I never appreciated enough the childhood that I had. But looking back now as a 23 year old, I was as close as you can get to the "perfect" child without it coming across as obnoxious. I was easily the smartest kid in my class ( I don't like talking about myself that way but it is true ), I did have multiple girls fighting over me multiple times and I was kind of a bad boy too which meant that I never got bullied for being a "nerd". I always felt like I was one of the coolest kids in my class that everyone wanted to be friends with, even though I always felt slightly different than my peers. Something that I could never quite put into words until much later.
My parents, especially my mum spent a lot of time with me growing up, teaching me how to read, how to write when I was only 4 years old. I never felt really pressured by them/her either. I think my mum just genuinely wanted to set me up for the best future possible but she wasn't too strict with me. Which turned out to be a bad thing for me in the long run. Looking back now, I'd have much rather have had stricter parenting because they were being way too lenient on me for EVERYTHING.
As the years went by and I turned 10, then 11, then 12 I started to completely accept my current status of being the Golden Boy as reality. I stopped doing my Art homework because I hated Art. "It's not like I'm going to do anything to do with Art when I grow up, anyway."
Then I stopped doing revision for Maths and Science completely. And Geography. My grades began to slip massively. I didn't really have an explanation for why this was happening but I didn't really care. The scary thing which I realized at around this time, was that I never really had to revise for anything, my effort in school only slipped by a tiny bit but every year the level of education we learnt became higher and higher. I have always relied on "being smart", so it was a tough pill to swallow being told that I have to revise now because I never had to do that before.
I never had the motivation to do it, probably in the back of my mind I thought "It's fine, I've done this before. It has always been fine." Turns out, things wouldn't be fine. Not this time. But also not for the reason I expected. I won't say which country I'm from but my dad lost his job right before Christmas one year and he was looking for a job for a long time after that. Until one day he told me that there is no future for us in this country and told me to pack my bags because in 2 weeks we are moving to [English speaking country]. I didn't really have time to process what was happening and I never got to say goodbye to my friends ( although I would see them again every summer for a while ).
Moving to a different country seemed exciting and for some reason I wasn't that down about it. I don't think I fully realised that this was not just a vacation, that the first portion of my life ended that day. And where the second half began, was not where the first one had finished. Even though I was by my country's standards "good" at English, I barely understood a single word anyone was saying. To make matters worse, I was the only kid from my country in my entire school so I was forced to adapt and learn English quickly if I wanted to make some friends.
I never got full-blown bullied, I think they saw that I'm not "that" guy that they can just push around. But I was discriminated against many times. Obviously in the beginning, I had no idea what they said about me because I couldn't understand them. I'm sure some of the guys were talking shit behind my back but what do you expect. I also started getting really bad acne around this point, so my "handsome" looks were fading by the second. Since I couldn't speak English properly and got made fun of several times for my heavy accent, my social abilities went with it.
In just a matter of months, I became a shell of myself. I didn't do any of my homework because "nobody else did it either", I realized that school was so much more relaxed here than in my country. I basically just started not giving a fuck altogether. I thought maybe that'd help me fit in better. I never wanted to be the "nerd", some of the guys had enough reasons to pick on me anyway.
Then these months became years and even though I did make a few friends along the way, I was friends with basically the most unpopular guys in high school. Since my acne got even worse and because I felt really self-conscious about my accent, I completely forgot how to interact with people. It's like I lost that ability the day I entered the country and it never quite came back.
As I said, I was not beaten up or pushed around like you'd see in the really cliche, stereotypical high school films but I was verbally assaulted, ignored or just made fun of quite a lot. Going from Golden Boy to THIS, hurt. A lot. I was in denial about it as it was going on, I used to make vlogs of just talking about my day after school ( super cringy ) and when I tried to rewatch a couple of those videos and could barely get through a couple of minutes; the one thing that stood out to me was just how delusional I was. I still thought I was looked at as the guy that I used to be looked at by girls, which looking back now makes zero sense.
I started getting into watching pr0n heavily, right before I turned 16. After some experimenting, my favourite category became c*mshots. I think that because I felt so humiliated and degraded in high school, ( like I wasn't getting the respect that I felt I should be getting, which sounds extremely arrogant but that is what I was used to beforehand ) subconsciously I wanted the girls in pr0n to feel like that too. All the pretty girls that probably had perfect lives and lived off daddy's money, were now being degraded by guys for money. I started looking at girls from my own high school as sex objects too. I started fantasizing about overpowering them like those men did in the last pr0n video that I watched. Pr0n completely warped my view of girls and women. I guess you could say some of that is normal and that almost all teenage guys go through that but looking back now I don't think it was normal at all.
Turning 16 was the turning point for me. I did some bad things. No, I did not kill anyone. But I did some things that I regret and that I would definitely not do if I was given the choice right now. I basically sexually assaulted girls online by sending them dck pics and other warped stuff like cmshot compilations. I loved to fantasize about them clicking on the link out of curiosity and being turned on by how those guys were using the girls in the video. Yes, this whole thing is pretty dark and I really wish I never went down this road. I hope those girls know that I take full responsibility for what I did but my intention was never to cause them harm or distress. I was way too caught in my own fantasy to consider the possibility that I was causing these girls any discomfort.
As I entered college, I was at least in somewhat of a better standing than I was in high school. I was talking to some girls again and probably could've gotten a lot more action then what actually ended up happening ( I'm horrible at reading cues ).
In college, I lost my "virginity" to a girl and we "dated" if you can call it that. I felt like I was actually in love with her and I think she might have felt the same way in the beginning but probably some of my more negative personality traits started to show through and we never materialised. I wrote "virginity" in air quotes because I don't even know if you can call what happened between us, me losing my virginity as I had no idea at the time but I was struggling from serious PIED. Years and years of whacking it day in, day out has led to this. In my eyes, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and here I was on my knees, gripping it as tightly as when you're about to peel a carrot, trying to get hard for this girl like my life depended on it.
She was really nice about it, I don't know what she actually thought about it in her head but she didn't laugh in my face or anything like that. She asked if I couldn't get hard because of her ( because she wasn't attractive enough ) which really made me feel like a piece of shit and although I couldn't tell her that it was because I was watching too much porn, I reassured her that her not being hot enough was definitely not the issue. When she said that, it actually shocked me. From her perspective, she is thinking it must be her fault ( and I still believe that she really felt that way about it ) and she is probably not even considering that the problem is with me. Just the fact that she'd think she isn't hot enough when I saw her as an angel, just blew my mind.
Without going into too much unnecessary detail, she did break my heart and it took me a long time to recover. One thing I haven't really touched on before is that I have always been emotional but in a weird way. In situations where you're "supposed to cry", I never did and never felt any emotions but in other situations that weren't even that serious, I'd get my feelings hurt really easily. This is probably where most of my problems stem from.
The truth is, I never fully healed from that heartbreak. Even just writing this down I feel so weak and so pathetic that I'm so hurt by this. I started looking into Red Pill, etc. Although I didn't see it at the time but I was mostly just using it to hate on women and find an excuse to get all of my current frustrations out on them. ( As much as I want to deny it, at this point I'm one fedora and one "M'lady" away from turning into a full blown neckbeard )
Then I realized I need to do something with my life. I had no idea what I wanted to do, I decided not to go to university because nothing interested me that much to spend £27,000 on it. So I worked in a couple of places until I'd get bored or they'd fire me and then I would be unemployed for months before repeating the same process over and over again.
I am 23 years old, I still live with my parents, I've been unemployed for six months, I have no direction, no motivation, no fight left in me. I know that this sounds horrendous and weak and pathetic. I know. I'm fucking 23 years old. I should be in my prime right now. I know that I'm supposed to be "working hard" and "provide for my future family" but the thing is, I don't even know if I want a family!
The world is completely crazy right now and even though I only used Red Pill to rage at women at the time, it does have a major point about modern women being unfaithful and just using men for their money, which is another reason that makes me want to stay away from settling down.
And then you get to ask yourself the question:
"Work hard" all your life but...
For what?
A nice car?
Put blood, sweat and tears into 5 years of your life just so you can show your friends ( if you still have any left by the time you're done ) how fucking cool you are?
A nice house?
Put blood, sweat and tears into 20 years of your life just so you can buy a place to live and restraint yourself to live there for the rest of your life?
A girlfriend?
To get a gold digger wife that will lie to your face, take all your money and then leave you the first chance she gets? ( Yes, I know not all women are like that but it's a pretty dire situation right now )
A family?
So my child can grow up having to worry about climate change, Coronavirus and fuck knows what else that will happen in this decade?
But if you are not "working hard" for any of those things, then...
What are you working for?
You're left with simply nothing to work hard for at all.
And once you can see through that, life is basically over. Once you can see through all the bullshit propaganda that you're being bombarded with every single day, once you realize that none of this materialistic stuff really matters... but then none of the other stuff matters either. So then does life matter at all?
My whole childhood growing up, I was being told how smart, how handsome, how perfect I was. How I'd have the most beautiful girls eating out of the palm of my hand and I'd never have to lift a finger. I'm not blaming the current situation I'm in on my parents. But maybe it'd be better to just be flat out honest with children, instead of giving them false hope, instead of setting them up for a life of failure because what my parents promised me is simply not how life works.
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2020.09.26 02:30 SnooSketches6124 Should you always maintain high standards even if you are going through a long streak of no sex?

I have seen 2 schools of thought from various PUA’s. One is that you should always focus on quality over quantity and never sleep with a girl you don’t find sexy, even if you are going through a several month or a year long dry patch of not getting laid.
The other school of thought is if you are going through a long dry spell, and a girl that you don’t consider hot wants to sleep with you, just bang her as it’s much easier to transition to meeting/hooking up with a girl you find much more attractive if you maintain an active sex life.
Take me and my friend for example, I’m a lot more choosy on only sleeping with girls I find hot. I haven’t slept with anyone since I broke up with my ex in December (COVID has really put a lot of restrictions on meeting new girls) three girls have shown me interest.
The first is overweight (Big turnoff) and has hairy armpits which are just gross. The second girl is a single mum (Big turnoff) I never want kids, let alone be a dad to someone else’s. Plus she’s looking for something serious only and not into just hooking up. The third girl was a Tinder match. She seemed hot but always curiously hid some of her face/chin in pics. She later text me a selfie and turns out she has gross dark chin/facial hair which is a real turn-off.
My friend is the opposite. He has slept with many women and is very popular with the ladies. He has slept with hotties but has also slept with a fair few ugly girls as well. He is in the mindset that sex is sex and would rather do that until he hooks up with another hottie than have long cold streaks.
Are you guys in the mindset of quality or quantity is better? Should you always maintain high standards or lax them after a long streak of no sex?
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2020.08.02 12:55 ThrowRAfmylifedundee Hot mum sex pics

My wife and I have always been on the 'bigger' side. After our second child (now 4 years old) I made a lot of lifestyle changes. I started going to the gym, doing powerlifting and running a lot. I tried to encourage my wife to participate and in the beginning she was really enjoying going to the gym but eventually she relapsed into bad habits. I'm not one to push too much and I always ensured her I would love her NO MATTER WHAT size she was. We were still having sex about 3-4 times a week in which we both always enjoyed and pushed eachother to try new things.
Recently my wife noticed that a woman from my gym had commented on one of my gym videos on instagram. It was a video of me beating my personal record in a deadlift (with about 10 people from the gym cheering me on, including the woman who commented) The comment was along the lines of " Fantastic result! On to the next!" . I can understand my wife's insecurity but I reassured her there is literally nothing there. This is someone I occasionally chat to during exercises and one of the guys helping me in the video is her husband.
Anyway, basically it came down to her feeling I was getting far more attractive than her and she was afraid I would leave her for some "young and beautiful girl at the gym".
We got into a friendly discussion, I proclaimed that if we were to both make a tinder account now, she would probably still end up getting far more matches than me. Knowing that there are infinite amounts of horny guys I was fairly sure of my hypothesis. I've never been on a dating app myself but I assumed as a decent looking 39 year old that is in shape I would get some matches.
We both installed tinder and bought the tinder gold option so we could swipe in another city (both terrified of neighbors seeing us or something). We decided to put our locations to London and then started watching a movie. The mood during all this was giggly and fun.
After the movie (2 hours) we both checked our phones again. My wife had 330 likes (you can see who has swiped you with tinder gold) and I had 1.
Her phone was blowing up. The first guy to start talking to her looked like a cross between khal drogo and the rock, who was also a dentist (was sure to show this in his pics) and was very down for "meeting my wife tonight". I could tell right there and then from my wifes reaction that all this attention was turning her on. We sat together on her phone for about half an hour just watching these messages pour in. So many compliments from 6'2 male model types, guys wanting to meet up, guys sending their number. Every kind of race and type of guy was there to choose from at her fingertips.
When she asked about my matches and saw I only had 1 she let out an "awwwww, at least I still want you honey"
Call me crazy, but this is the moment I saw in her eyes that everything was different. It was like suddenly she was realizing she could do 'better' than me and fuck an unlimited amount of hot guys.
We deleted our accounts that night and didn't really talk about it much more. I for one was scared to bring it up and felt humiliated that I had only gotten 1 match (to make it worse she looked far worse than me wife, my wife even made fun of my match)
Over the course of the next weeks my wife started to reject my sex more and more, 2 months later we hadn't had sex in a month. She was cold, bitter, started to have moodswings.
This is when I let my bad side get the better of me. One day when she was visiting her mum, i grabbed her work laptop that she always stores in her office drawer and decided to see what I could find.
I found out that she was using tinder on her work-laptop browser and had been talking to guys from all over the world the past weeks. Dubai, new york, california, you name it she had swiped there. The conversations mentioned her being single, and every one was sexually explicit in nature. All the guys she was talking to were 10 years younger than us too.
Then I decided to try web.whatsapp.com to see if she would have left that logged in... I felt sick to my stomach reading her whatsapp messages but I had to know...
I discovered that her 2 best friends (who have recently become single also and have been dating a lot on tinder) have been 'pushing' her to 'realise what you can get' and have been trying to get her to leave me or force me into having an open marriage. She often sends them screenshots of the guys she is matching with and is openly contemplating cheating on me.
I have been 'spying' on her work laptop whenever she is out now for about 3 weeks, she still doesn't know. Yesterday she very lightly brought up the 'open marriage' to me. But framed it in a way that made it seem like I could do whatever I wanted and that she "knew i'd want to fool around"
She claims to not be using tinder anymore since our 'experiment' .
I'm just absolutely devastated. a few months ago and we were great and now it feels like my life is falling apart. It seems so animalistic what is happening, I don't want to believe my wife is this shallow but it seems like she thinks she can do better than me and just wants to fuck hot guys. From what I can tell she hasn't yet, but she has added a few guys from tinder to her whatsapp and been flirting with the idea of meeting them.
In no way shape or form will I ever accept an open marriage. I have of course made screenshots of everything and even recording of the conversations on her laptop screen.
For me it feels like my marriage is already over. It's like I have been given a window into a part of my wifes mind that i wish didn't exist. I felt bad sometimes for looking at a girls ass in the gym for more than 5 seconds and could lose sleep over how I might be betraying my wife by having indecent thoughts etc.
Anyone else gone through something like this? How do I even confront her?
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2020.07.29 19:54 Kaito-Jin Mum pics hot sex

I guess I failed at living
I did also post this to depression but for some reason it doesn’t show up there..please some just read thru this..
First off all I’m sorry if do some spelling, grammar or punctuation mistakes. English isn’t my native language.
Anyways I (turning 26M) was always kinda depressed. Tbh I don’t remember a time where I was truly happy without any negativ feelings. I have huge anxieties and I guess some self esteem issues.
I went thru a lot of shit growing up and in my teens. My parents never had much money so I grew up without getting a lot of things. (Toys, games etc.) I remember one day when I was like 5 or something my dad brought an used NES with super Mario world and I got so exited that was the first time I genuinely were happy. We lived in a very small apartment back then. My parents, my sister and I had to share a room.
I guess I was to young to be bothered back then and it never did. We moved to another place which was a bit bigger but still had no room in my own and had to share with my sister. Which still didn’t really bothered me. I had two “friends” back then in kindergarten. We hung out, played and did that usual kids stuff. But as everyone knows kids can be mean sometimes. We didn’t pick on other kids or something but they picked on me...
We played one time outside at the kindergarten and it was winter so we played with the snow. I remember we had shovels and we were shoveling the snow to one place to make a huge bulk of snow. I was the one who spotted places where we could get a lot of snow on the shovels. We only had two so my friends were the ones shoveling. Let’s call them A and E. I was looking for a good spot while A and E shoveled snow on our bulk. I found a spot and called them and I remember A coming towards me with his shovel, which already had snow on it and he just slammed the whole thing right into my face. I had snow covering all my face and started crying while those two were laughing their asses off. No one of the teacher noticed. I cried and took the snow away after that I didn’t played with them anymore.
So I was kinda always by myself. Until one day a new girl came to the kindergarten. Sadly I don’t know her name anymore let’s just call her G. She was new so she didn’t know anyone yet and all by herself too. I remember G playing with some Pokémon toys and I noticed that and talked to her (at this time I never played Pokémon before let alone I didn’t own a Gameboy but I watched the show). We became friends and played together A and E did also noticed that and bullied me for that “because she is a girl”. I don’t remember what happened to her but I guess she moved because one day she was just gone. So it was all me again. I didn’t make new friends I just stuck with the teachers because I was afraid of being bullied again.
When I started elementary school A and E went to same school but they were in a different class than me. For some reason became friends again and played together in recess. That friendship didn’t last long they excluded me after a while again and played with another kid instead. So I felt like I was just replaced. After that we never talked to each other again. So basically I was all by myself again. The kids in my class didn’t like me and two of them did pick on my. Around this time I had my first crush on a classmate. I never talked to her in fear of being made fun of or even worse. These two kids who bullied me (Cyka and Tom/not their real names) made my school days living hell for me. They called me names, made fun of the way I look and at some point they even tried to beat me up.
One day I had enough so I started to fight back. We had music class and I remember Cyka bullying me again and I snapped and hit him at his back with a triangle instrument. I got kicked out off class for that. Even tho I stood up for myself the bullying never really stopped. They kept tormenting me. We had PE and we were going to play a ball game or something and two students were picking teammates so we had to sit all in one line while the two picked. Cyka and Tom started laughing when one of the team captions picked me for some reason the whole class started laughing and I snapped again. I was sitting and I started charging at Cyka while screaming but he startet to run away and I just ran after him. He ran into a corner and I threw him down and started hitting him in the face and scratching him while screaming like a wild animal. The teacher took us apart and after that everyone just knew me as the psycho.
Cyka had some bruises and scratches in his face and also still some bruises on his back from the music class thing. He told his mom who told our teacher. The teacher made us sit together in the classes and after a time we talked a bit to each other and we both liked the same things. So we became friends. Tom was also involved I made friends with him also but Cyka and I were a bit closer. We hung out together and became pretty good friends and the bullying stopped.
Cyka had to move school so the only good friend I had was gone but we still hung out after school. I still had my crush on J but I never talked to her. We had PE again and we were playing a game called carrot pulling. So basically everyone lays in a circle on their tummies while holding hands and if someone pulls you out you have to help pulling the rest out. Idk the rules anymore it’s just a weird game. Anyways I was the one pulling and I went for J but I accidentally pulled to much so her pants want down and her ass was visible. I immediately let her go and said sorry..I was so ashamed and felt bad.
The other kids started laughing and she clearly was embarrassed. After that class they started picking on me again and saying that I did that on purpose. I did not it was a accident. I felt pretty bad and knowing after that she would never even consider talking to me I almost started to cry. After school I wanted to go home but was cornered by J and her friends. I thought they were going to beat me up so I ran inside the school again and went to another exit but there were also some of her friends waiting for me. I felt trap not able to go home... Then one 6th grader came (I was in 4th) and he asked me why I’m still here. I told him that I was afraid to go outside and he said it’s okay he’ll come with me so I trusted him and went with him. Well I didn’t know that he was also one of her friends. They cornered me and the 6th grader pushed me against the wall. I started crying and run away while crying for my mum. I never told my parents about this and the next day I got bullied and called “mommas boy”. It never stopped till I left for high school.
When I started high school I was at point 0 again. No friends and no one to talk to.
I was slowly becoming a teen and still had no room of my own. One day my parents decided that my sister gets the room for herself and I was sharing a room with my dad. My mom slept in the living room. I got upset that I don’t have a room on my own like everyone else and I started comparing my parents to other parents I knew. As I said we had little money and both of my parents didn’t work because of “illness”.
I had to dispense on so many thing and I was kinda jelly seeing all the other kids with their “cool” parents. I lost touch with Cyka because I gifted him a lighter which belonged to my dad. My dad of course noticed that and asked me where it has gone I lied and told him I don’t know. They accused cyka for stealing it and I told them the truth but they still thought he stole it. My parents forbid me to see him again and I started yelling at my mom that I’m telling the truth but she didn’t believe me. I was heart broken because they don’t wanted me to met the only person I considered a true friend. I felt alone and misunderstood that was the first time I considered suicide at the age of 13(?).
I didn’t stop arguing with my mom and in the end she started hitting me and I just keep yelling insults at her. I really hoped that she would just beat me to death in that moment.
I was always being bullied for my looks. I have a crooked nose but I never understood why everyone was saying that.
My parents were invited to a weeding and they took me and my sister with them. I knew some kids from the friends of my mom so I just tried to hang out with them. One of these kids was a stereotypical douchebag he bullied other kids and everyone just went with it because they thought he was cool or something. We played catch or something and as I was running that douchebag made me fall down and the others just laughed at me so I went inside to my mum. She was talking to a lady and her son. Her son was in his early twenties I guess but he was mentally handicapped. He was like a 8-9 years old. His mother introduced him to me and we started talking. Although he had a condition he was pretty cool we talked about music, Pokémon and games. The douchebag and his pack noticed that I was talking to that guy and they started making fun of me and him. He didn’t take it well..he clearly got upset and I told him that we should just go somewhere else. He didn’t listen and was exchanging insults with them. He started drooling while talked and swiped his mouth with the back of his hand. They did not stop so I took him by his hand and tried to walk away but he just ran inside to his mom. They saw that I had grabbed his drooled hand and than started to pick on me about that. I went inside the bathroom and cleaned my hand.
My new friend was still upset and by his mom and I was just sitting at the steps waiting for him. I felt so lonely and angry. Two older girls (around 15-17) came to the steeps and looked down at me literally. They had seen the incident before so they started talking me about that. I told them that they were being mean before and one of the girl just straight looked me in the face and said that I’m ugly the other girl joined in and was like “yea and he also has a pretty crooked nose too”. I started crying again and ran into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and still didn’t get why they said that my nose is crooked. I was looking straight into the mirror. I looked at myself from the side and then I finally got it. Yep my nose is crooked you. Its like these middle eastern noses. (I’m turkish/Russian mixed).
Fast forward: the first two years of high school were okay. No one picked on me but I still was depressed because I had no real friends. In my rebellious stage I tried to reach out for cyka but he had moved and I didn’t know were. These were the days before Facebook so I couldn’t track him down. After the two years I had to switch schools because of bad grades. Then thinks started to get downhill again.
I got bullied for my looks again which lower myself esteem but I did fight back . I’m sometimes quick witted so I threw insults at them and they stopped. There was also this one girl who got also bullied. Some of the bullies talked to me and “befriended” me. So the tables turned...and I started bullying that girl with them. They didn’t stop there they or should I say we...We even bullied and harassed one of our teachers.
In that class I met my 2nd crush. We started talking to each other because she joined our group. I didnt make any moves on her because she was waaaaay out of my league and I knew for a fact she wouldn’t date me. But I still had hopes that she would. I started drinking and smoking cigarettes with that group because I wanted to fit in and be “cool”. I stole cigarette packs from my dad and shared them with my “friends”. I started to hang out with my crush after school and every time we met I stole cigs from my dad. He never noticed. Well I know that she would never date me but I thought she would maybe do it. I think she was just using me to get free cigs. She had a crush on another guy from the group and they ended up in a relationship. That guy wasn’t faithful tho and he screwed other girls and she didn’t knew. I didn’t tell her...maybe I should have.
At this point I had never a kissed a girl or even had a girl liking me. I felt ugly und undesirable. I still do. Every of my friends had a netlog account (it was similar to MySpace). I didn’t create an account because I hated taking pictures of myself. After while I created an account and took some pictures. I still felt uncomfortable taking pictures that everyone could see so I just uploaded one as my Profile pic.
Everyone was getting girlfriends and getting laid and I was just there not having the courage to talk to any girl or to text one on netlog because they would reject me or call me ugly.
Some girl in my area visited my netlog profile and I was like fuck it just send a simple hey. We started texting and she called me handsome. That was the first compliment I have ever gotten at this point. We texted on msn for a while and I asked her out to be my girlfriend (we haven’t met yet) and she said yes. I was so fucking proud and happy. We decided to met up in person she took 2 of her friends with her. We hung out at the park and her friends left for a while so I asked her if she likes me really and she said yes. After that I got super excited and tried to kiss her, she let me.
I was super happy that finally someone likes me back and that I had someone. My happiness wasn’t long tho. We wanted to go on a local event so we made up a date. When I got to her house I ringed her door but no one answered. I tried calling her but she wouldn’t pick up. So I just waited. I waited like 3 hours outside (it was winter and pretty cold). After my 3 hours long wait her mum showed up and asked me what I’m doing there. She didn’t knew me so I told her everything. She called her daughter and after 5 minutes she showed up. She had gone without me to event. I was sad that she went without me and not saying anything but in fear of losing her I did not say anything.
We went inside and her mum scold her for letting me wait outside. She was pretty sweet and offered me something hot to drink. She than asked me if I had a older brother because she said that’s cute from me that I waited that long.
My “girlfriend” and I did not talk about that. In the evening I got home and checked her netlog profile again and under some photos one guy did comment with heart emojis and stuff like “I love you so much” “you are mine”. These comments were fairly recent. My whole world fell apart and I texted that guy and he told me that they were in a relationship. She was playing us both..I tried to talk to her about that and she just got mad that she was caught and insulted me and called me ugly and that I don’t look nothing like my picture. I was devastated I ran home and cried myself to sleep.
After I healed from that heartbreak I talked to another girl. Same story with her but she broke up with me after two weeks because she was still in love with her ex.
The girl who got bullied by us left the school so the bullying switched back to me. The guys out of the group didn’t bully me tho. But the girls started calling me hook nose or other things that would make fun of my nose. I wasn’t shutting up anymore but every time someone would call me that I would feel hurt. One girls little sister even started making fun of me and I couldn’t take it anymore.
I hated everything and anyone. I lost my true best friend because some stupid shit I did but nobody believed me, My first girlfriend faked being in love with me, My living situation was shit, I had no place for my own and everyone would just bully me. I took every pill I could find at home and ate ash from ashtray and even thought about drinking bleach but I didn’t because I was afraid of the pain. I passed out and my parents called an ambulance. I woke up in the hospital and was mad that I was still alive. I told my parents and the doctors that I mixed up the pills by accident. No none questioned it.
The last year in high school was kinda okay. A new guy came in our class and we became good friends. Let’s call him V. So V and I had the same interest and we hung out. He occasionally also made fun about my nose it bothered me a bit but he wasn’t being a bully just guys being guys.
We both hung out often and we had a little friend group. On one day one of our friends invited us to a party so we went. At the party I met this girl C and I kinda liked her. We changed numbers later and started texting. So I had a crush on her and I told her she told me that she likes one of my friends. I got sad but still texted her and we hung out. Even tho I know she liked one of my friends and it was hurting me.
We met up again and the guy she likes was also there. We had some drinks and I went to the bathroom and both of them were gone. I knew what they were doing so I got sad and just went home. A day later asked my friend were they went and he told me...I told him that I liked her and he said something like “oh fuck sorry I didn’t knew that I won’t do anything with her”. And he didn’t. He friendzoned her for me so I could try my shot. Well but she wasn’t into me and there was nothing I could do.
Me,V, that friend she was into, she and some other friends hung out and we had some drinks. C was pretty drunk and sat between V and her crush. V was kinda flirting with her and I told him To knock it off because I liked her and he said the same thing “oh okay bro”. We were all drunk and they kept talking to her and I got upset so I left the party but some guy called me back.
I went back to the party but still mad that they would hit on her knowing that I liked her. So I drunk away my sadness. I went to the bathroom and when I went back the three were gone. I asked a friend were they went and he said I shouldn’t look for them. I went to the next room and it was dark I couldn’t see but I heard their voices. They were going to have a threesome.
I felt betrayed and yelled insults at them. They knew that I liked her and both said they wouldn’t do anything. After that we didn’t talk anymore.
One day I met Cykas little brother on a bus stop and he told there they live now. I visited him and we catched up. We both ended up having similar problems. After like years I finally was reunited with my best friend. Around that time I was getting into weed. He was also so we smoked sometimes.
Again fast forward to 2012. I had no issues with bullying any more but I still was depressed. One class mate showed me an app like Tinder (Lovoo) and he was like you should try it. I still hated the way I looked and had no courage to talk to girls. But I just tried it. I tried texting some girls but no one would respond. One girl texted me first tho and we texted for a while and met up. I was pretty nervous because she was out of my league. I thought she wouldn’t dumb me anyways when she sees me. I was pretty shy I couldn’t look her in the eyes but it kinda went well.
She said she would like me and even that I might be the right one because of my kind nature. I couldn’t believe it and was so freaking happy.
Some days later all that happiness I felt was gone. She told me she met another guy and wants to date him. I was so upset I started shaking. I asked her why and not why me since she told me she likes me. She had noticed that I was shy and said to me that I couldn’t even look into her eyes. It didn’t end well with her and that guy. I was still chasing after her but she wouldn’t date me. I fell into a huge depression and stopped eating. I hated everything. My dad got ill so my mum told me that she is going to share a bedroom with him. I had to sleep in the living room on a mattress...I was 17 oder 18 back then.
I’m really into werewolves, vampires and stuff like that and I joined a WhatsApp group about them. So anyways I was still heart broken and started coping with smoking weed it did not take me long to smoke on a daily basis.
A new girl joined that WhatsApp group and I didn’t like her at the beginning tbh. She was quick witted too so we ended up having some friendly arguments. We startet texting outside the group and we became pretty close. She told me she liked me but I didn’t liked her because I still was into my crush. I even talked about her with her. I will keep referring to her as S.
I didn’t want to hurt S ‘s feelings so I didn’t shot her down. I had never met such a sweet, strong, good hearted like her. I do really liked her but not like she liked me. After a while I got over my crush and grew closer to S. We ended up in a long distance relationship. She lived 600km away.
I did really fell in love with her and she did with me. We video called every day and Jesus Christ this woman gave looks like no other. I could tell she really loved me. She had a condition were she wasn’t able to move her legs and was in a wheelchair. The doctors hadn’t no real answer. Luckily she recovered and was able to walk again.
I was saving up money so I could visit her in fall. Everything was fine till her cat got sick and had to be put down. She loved that cat dearly and was sad when she became sick. Let alone when she had to put to rest. Anyways she was depressed and I tried cheering her up but nothing worked. I told her that I don’t want her to be sad. It all went downhill after that. She broke up with me because she was sad and I was sad because she was sad and also because of the distance.
I was devastated and depressed and even lay down on the floor and startet crying. I had really deeply fallen in love with her and I wanted to be with her. I almost had the money to visit her and she just broke up.
I wrote her letters and send her a wolf plushie and she reached out. Well she didn’t want to be with me but she said she still loved me. I told her that I could visit her but she declined because she doesn’t want me to see her likes this. She got her condition again and was wheelchair bound. I told her that I would still love her even when she is in a wheelchair. But for some reason she felt attacked and we ended arguing...
I spend the next two years chasing after her. I wrote her again a letter and texted her but she felt betrayed. She stopped using WhatsApp.
I never stopped thinking about her and I decided to move in her area after collage. I really thought if we talk in person it would be get better.
She started using WhatsApp again back kn 2016 and she texted me. I couldn’t believe it when I saw her name pop up. We catched up and she told me that she has a crush on a guy. That guy and she had been friends with benefits. I was kinda in shock when she told me, because I thought she wasn’t that kind of girl.
Anyways he just wanted sex and had feelings for another girl. So they stopped seeing each other. We kept texting, video calling and everything was fine. We grew closer again so we set up a date on her birthday.
Everything I wanted these past two years were finally coming true.
That guy she had FWB reached out again to her and wanted to continue but she turned him down and than that guy started making her fell bad. By claiming that she is a bad friend and stuff like this. I told her that he just wants to use her but she didn’t listen and had a discussion with him. I got jealous and told her what she does with him is her business but I don’t wanna talk about him anymore.
The next day she send me a screenshot of their convo and I saw how she had safed his number “Oniisan” which means brother in Japanese. I got jealous and asked under which name she safed. She told me just by my regular name. So I got upset and angry and we started to argue. She told me that she doesn’t want a relationship anymore with me. My whole live fell apart at that moment. I started begging her, cried about it but she wouldn’t change her mind.
She didn’t blew off the date tho. So she picked me up at the train station and she ran straight into my arms. We talked a bit and then she kissed me. Everything was kinda fine until the evening. We wanted to go dancing and I never danced before and I was shy about that but I tried. She showed me some steps and we danced a bit. She wanted to get a drink and dance but I was kinda overwhelmed by the crowed and didn’t want to dance straight away. She got upset and made a scene and ran towards her car. I was calling her and said that I’m sorry and to go back. She just straight kept going towards the car. We talked and she apologized.
Back in my hotel she came with me and Things happened. In the Morning she told me that she enjoyed every minute but she hadn’t change her mind. So ofc I got sad and even cried in front of her, she did too. But nothing changed...
We spent the next two days together but I was to depressed to enjoy anything which bothered her and we ended up arguing again...She dropped me off at the train station the last day and since than she cut me out of her life.
I still moved to her area since I already had gotten a job there. I tried again to win her back but it did not work..I chased after her again for two years. I wrote her a letter and send her her favorite flowers but she just told me to shove them up my asshole...
I fell into a hard depression and all the way up to me moving I was always smoking weed to numb myself. I didn’t knew anyone there who could sell me weed so I started drinking. I lost my job after 3 months because of that. I felt like a fucking loser...I had lost everything I had cherished..I got suicidal again but didn’t went thru with it.
I didn’t want to move to my parents because I never really liked them...tbh I hate them even a little bit.
I stayed there and got another job. Due to my drinking habit I became a alcoholic. I tried to hide it from everyone.
Three years had passed since then and I still was thinking about my ex.
I met another girl on tinder and we kept texting and had many things in common. We became pretty close. She told me that she likes me and I did like her. She told me that she is asexuell and all about her other issues. I felt that she trusted me and thought maybe she does really like me. Anyways she ended up friend zoning me even before we met because she doesn’t want get close with anyone...I spend another year chasing after her but it was all for nothing. We still kept texting tho.
That was last year. In December I got suicidal again and tried to kill myself. I got drunk and slit my wrists but I chickened out sometime after and called an ambulance. I ended up in a psych ward for a week.
In January I quit my job and tried applying for another but then Covid hit us.
I spent the days alone at home still crying about my crush (who I was still texting to) and getting drunk. At one time I was so depressed and drunk that I decided to move back to my parents. I told them about that but I couldn’t move out my flat that fast.
Tbh I didn’t want to go back so I just brushed it off.
Anyways my alcohol problem got so bad that I ended up in the psych ward again. My dad came to pick me up and told me to go home with them. I was on medication and didn’t really think thru so I ended up moving back.
And here I am again back again sleeping in the living room. My depression hasn’t stopped and I still have no job. I get 340 € a month from the government because I’m unemployed. I have also collected some debt. So did my parents. I payed some of my debt but there is still more.
I stopped drinking alcohol but smoke weed instead. I can’t smoke at my parents so I have to go to Cyka to smoke there. I’m basically every day with him and get stoned.
I still do text with my crush but I accepted the fact that we won’t get together. She was the main reason why I wanted to go back because I thought if I’m far away from her I might lose feelings. I kinda did but I still like her...I didn’t tell her tho...we are best friends right now.
I tried to date again and I had even luck. I met a girl on tinder and we had our first date on Saturday. We were texting quite a lot and grew close and when we met I asked her if she is still into me. She said yes and I took my chances and kissed her.
She lives like 1 1/2hrs away at her parents. The past days were great I was happy to find someone like her and that she liked me back made it just great. I told her about my insecurities and that she might think I’m ugly. She didn’t seem to care and just liked me for who I am. This sounds like a nice little Happy End but that’s for from that...
She is complaining about the distance and that we can’t meet at her parents place. We can’t met at my parents place either...well we could but I don’t want her to see the mess I’m calling home. She told me that she doesn’t want to drive back and forth just for me...which was like a slap in the face. Even tho she said she would do anything for her bf. Her exes exploited, lied and cheated on her that’s why she claims to have trust issues. She has a own flat but that flat is another 2 hours away and she is only there when she has to go to Uni.
I don’t own a car so I have to use public transport to see her. I told her that I’m going to move out but it takes time. She told me that she wants her bf close to her and not met every time in public...I told her we don’t have to but she isn’t really convinced...I think she might losing interest...text from her getting rare and the way she responds is different than before.
I just feel like a useless piece of shit...I’m not good enough for her because of all that. I can’t provide nothing...I have nor place for my own, I have no car, no job, no money....and my parents are annoying me because of their debts and my weed smoking..
Even they tell me I have nothing to show for and my mum just told me that she envies other mother’s sons because they aren’t fucked up like I am. To be honest I don’t give damn what my parents say about me because I don’t care about them...but it’s true I’m a fucked up mess..
I’m again here stuck here...I really don’t know what to with my live anymore. I just wanna end it...
The same bulk shit cycle does repeat itself all over again. I’m spending my days with sleeping, gaming (I don’t even enjoy it anymore it’s just to kill time) or smoking weed.
That girl is going to dumb me I know it...I asked her if she still wanted to date me but she said she doesn’t know... well I know the answer anyways...she won’t...she is going to ghost me at some point. And that’s because I don’t have anything...
I fell like I have seen and experienced to much. I’m suicidal at the moment and I’m thinking of really just overdosing on opioids.
Well if you made it that far thank you for reading this.
submitted by Kaito-Jin to depression [link] [comments]


2020.07.16 07:53 yefef3416Jul Legends Hard-core Por-n

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https://preview.redd.it/vwl2tr9gd6b51.jpg?width=225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2907dfa3c15efdae87087220db01850b75296861
submitted by yefef3416Jul to Home_Made_Fun [link] [comments]


2020.05.14 18:10 DonoUK Hot mum sex pics

Be warned - long story coming up. I'll try to get to the point quickly.
This is a cautionary tale on how this is a small world.
I have a relationship that has been going on for about an year and a half with a MW I met at a network event. Although I'm not a fan of networking events some times I have to attend them due to my job.
We have regular meets, usually a social followed by a hot adventure. We became close friends although sometimes I get hints from her that she might have a stronger feeling than just "friends having fun". We chat about different things, so yes. It's not just sex, there is a "like" feeling from my part but that's it. I'm clear about it with her.
Now let's go back to November pre COVID-19 lockdown. After a hard day of work I decide to pop super quickly at a pub to get a beer before heading home. The pub is empty apart from a young lady with her laptop.
I sit at the bar and ask if there's any new beer to try. The girl (and I'm not saying in a bad way, dear SJW), mid 20s, shouts from her table that I should try x. I think, cool I'll try that. Anyway, we start chatting and somehow we end having sex at her car near some fields. Yeah, I know, teenager stuff.
We meet sporadically until the the lockdown happens. Our meets are pure raw sex and we don't really have much to talk about, since I don't care about snapchat or Love Island (not sure if that's the right name of the show) and she is not interested in "adult" talk.
Now we're back to May 2020.
Girl says she chatted with her mum that she's meeting a married man. They laugh, mum tells her to be careful because that's dangerous and married man are the filthiest. They still laugh and she message me saying how it was a fun conversation.
Two days later, girl sends pic and I weirdly recognise the place. It's my AP's living room. The message says (I'll make it PG 13), "parents asleep I wish you were here. Horny lockdown".
Today, I get a an email from a recent customer. Check his profile on LinkedIn. There was an update where he celebrates his anniversary. Guess what?! Yes, AP has a comment there. They are married.
Anyway, this is a fucked up situation. I'm seeing the wife of a customer. I fucked my AP's daughter.
My fear, these three stories come together. In a way the lockdown can be good, as I'll simply fade away and communicate less with AP and girl, until things end.
Dear virtual friends, any advice on how I can prevent these stories to come together in a way that nobody gets hurt?
Thanks!
submitted by DonoUK to adultery [link] [comments]


2020.04.03 09:16 1975throwaway1975 Recovering wife is lying

I’m in a real bad jam here, guys – posting from a throwaway, obviously, and I could really use some input. I’m 45, wife is 38, and we have a son, 6, and a daughter, 4. We all live here near Atlanta, GA. Wife and I met about 12 years ago, and got married two years later. She was the love of my life. I did everything for her, and she treated me really well too.
About three years ago, wife and her three girlfriends go into the city to stay in a hotel for a friend’s birthday party. Wife is clear with me upfront that her one friend is SUPER into women, so they’ll be going to a typical strip club. Whatever, I’m cool with it; I trust her. I get a drunk text later that night from my wife that only says, “yeah totally, she was SO hot. LOVED it.” Obviously, this text wasn’t meant for me. I’m suspicious. I open her computer, open her Facebook, and see she’s live chatting with three different dudes about how a “stripper ate her out at a strip club tonight.” I’m beside myself, obviously. Try to call my wife, she’s not answering.
Finally get her on the phone the next morning, and she’s not even aware of the text or what I now know. Dead serious, without saying anything about the texts or online chats, I ask, “how many people have you cheated on me with?” Silence. I yell: “HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH?” She doesn’t mention the stripper – instead, she says: “Two.” So, these are two OTHER people I didn’t even know about. I’m at home with two kids, losing my goddamn mind, trying to not freak the kids out as my life is falling apart. She’s apologizing profusely, freaking out herself, and I don’t want to hear it.
Long story short, she gets home, and immediately sees a therapist while I’m deciding on the best way to divorce her without messing up my kids for life. In the days that follow, after therapy, she comes home and shares a lot of it with me, some of which she always knew, some of which she blocked out and the therapist is now helping her remember – I knew none of it until she told me:
She grew up in a rural area, on a farm. She had a gay uncle that sexually abused her older brother from the time he was 7 until he was 12. Parents had suspicions of the uncle, but didn’t know for sure, and didn’t do a goddamn thing because they’re shit people. In turn, that brother then sexually abused his sister – my wife – from the time she was 5 until she was 10. Over the next three years, my messed-up wife got into all kinds of crazy stuff: She let various animals from her farm do sexual things to her when nobody was around. She let MUCH older, sexually predatory men (that she met online) have sex with her in mall bathrooms. As she got into her teens, she continued to be sexually interested in animals. On one occasion, in a nightclub bathroom, a man her age forcibly raped her entirely against her will. All of this happened, obviously, before I even met her. She’s also cheated on any person she’s ever been in a committed relationship with, multiple times with multiple partners. So she’s telling me all this, I’m completely floored, and now she also tells me that she actually cheated on me with 6 people, not 2. 3 of them were men, 3 of them were women. Her therapist tells her she has all the signs of a sex addict and recommends sex addiction treatment IMMEDIATELY.
We sign her up for a $20,000, 6-month program (and we are NOT wealthy people), and after the 1st day, she makes a suicide attempt. On day 6, she makes another suicide attempt – she hates herself and wants to die. All this while I’m at home alone with the kids, balancing between work and pre-school/daycare, and trying to tell the kids that “Mum is just sick and she’ll be home in a few days.” After 2 weeks of her going back and forth between the psych ward (she was committed after the suicide attempts) and the sex addiction program, she’s finally home now, and she can see the kids mornings, then go to her sex addiction program, then see the kids again at night. By week 3, she’s opening up to me a bit, telling me that it was actually 9 people, not 6. I furiously probe further, and by week four, I learn it was actually 12 people, not 9.
Because this is a medical condition (sex addiction, plus newly discovered severe depression for which she’s now medicated), and I want to get to the bottom of everything, I delay my divorce plans, and try as best I can to be supportive, since she did try to kill herself twice, and I don’t want my kids to grow up without a mom. But try as I do, my support for her is insincere, for obvious reasons. I’m also seeing my own therapist now to try to get through this. None of this is cheap. Also, partly out of spite, I go out and sleep with two other women, the first time I’ve ever cheated on her; I’ve still never told her about this, and honestly, I don’t feel too guilty about it.
A few weeks later, as part of her program, she comes clean and tells me the rest: there were actually 14 people (garbage human beings, some of whom I met, had drinks with, shook hands with), plus online sex and picture swapping with maybe 50 or 60 more people. This was almost three years ago now, and this final story hasn’t changed at all since then. Sure, it could be more, but I don’t really see why she’d lie more at that point; the numbers were so high that what’s the difference? To start to repair things between us (if that’s possible), her program also recommends that she install software on her phone that gives me full access to see anything she’s up to anytime I want. Without hesitation, she agrees. She also cuts off ALL of the previous partners, deletes all of her social media accounts, agrees to just browse on Reddit and other information sites without starting an account to participate in conversations, and I’m witnessing it all, since I can see her phone from my phone with the new software. Sure, she could be figuring out some dark way to connect with people online using something other than her phone, but she’s not that tech savvy, and now, I’m a goddamn detective. I don’t think she’s been doing that.
6 months into her program and medication, she’s feeling more clear and better about herself, forgiving herself for what she’s done (as her horrible childhood circumstances had played a major role in who she’d become involuntarily). She’s feeling better. I’m not. So, we go into couples therapy (another major expense). We hash out all kinds of stuff, mostly about what she’s done, but also about other problems in the relationship. She’s constantly apologetic and goes out of her way now to try to make me feel good. Things are getting better, but I still don’t feel good.
A year into couples therapy, I and I discover what might be a small lie to anybody else, but to me, it’s HUGE: She started a Reddit account, and she’s actively participating in conversations, commenting, posting, etc., all behind my back. I see it all. None of the conversations are sexual in nature (most of them are mommy advice threads), but still, for me, this is a HUGE violation of trust. I LOSE MY MIND AND SCREAM AT HER. She’s again wildly apologetic, and we hash it out in couples therapy. She, of course, promises to never do this again.
It’s now another 6 months later, and almost 3 years since I first discovered all this, and we’re getting a little bit back to normal, even though I don’t fully trust her, obviously. And then, today: I SEE SHE’S STARTED ANOTHER REDDIT ACCOUNT!!! All of her posts/comments are related to COVID-19 – I get it, she’s scared. And she’s lived her whole life as a social person, and that has been COMPLETELY flipped for her since the therapy – she’s more of a hermit now, and has almost no social outlets. BUT STILL, this is another violation of trust, AND THIS EXACT SAME THING HAS NOW HAPPENED TWICE! If she wanted to start doing this, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A CONVERSATION FIRST!!! I confront her, she immediately admits it, and I tell her this is the last straw, get the fuck out of our home, and I’m calling a divorce lawyer tomorrow. Kids are already sleeping, and she packs a bag and goes to her friend’s house.
And now I’m having SLIGHT 2nd thoughts. On the one hand, I’m 99% sure she hasn’t cheated on me in 3 years. I have access to her phone, email, etc. Beyond her job, she’s never out for long (her choice, not mine), and I now have a nose for this, and I watch her like a hawk. On the other hand, SHE’S STILL LYING TO ME AFTER ALL THIS! Even though it’s something that would normally be small, it’s HUGE to me because of our past. I can’t fathom how she can continue to do this. And because of this, I can’t fully trust her, and I probably never will. There’s still that 1% chance in my mind that somehow, against all current evidence, she’s out there fucking more people behind my back, and that’s hard to deal with.
So, the way I see it, here are my options now:
OPTION 1: I can proceed with the divorce. I would need to get full custody of the kids; despite her progress in mental health, she’s still a mess and there’s no way she can manage her own life, plus the lives of two kids and finances. I need to do it all so things don’t fall apart. I think she’d agree to this for all those reasons. The other thing: Aside from all this, she is a GREAT mother, and our kids LOVE her (more than me, in fact). Even if she got to see them every day (which I would have no objection to, and encourage), they’d be heartbroken if mum didn’t live at home anymore, and there is no WAY I’m giving up any of MY time with them – I love them too much, and I’m a great dad too, even if they are slightly more partial to her maternal nurturing.
OPTION 2: I can just accept that even though she’s made progress, she’s not perfect and she never will be. (I mean, I’m far from perfect too.) On the cheating side, she’s probably not doing that anymore for a few years, since the therapy... Anytime she goes out anywhere with friends, she’ll text me pics a few times per night, and is never unreachable anymore. With regard to these lies about things like Reddit, I would just have to accept that she’s been so destroyed in life that an occasional liar is the best she can be, and for the sake of my kids’ love for her, I should just let these less severe things slide, and try to love her myself anyway. But how I’ll ever trust her again, I just don’t know. Can you accept someone as a liar for more trivial stuff and trust them anyway with the important things if they’re starting to show a good track record on THOSE? If sounds nonsensical, but honestly, I don’t know.
OPTION 3: I can just go through the motions, also for the sake of my kids, at least until they’re older. I won’t even try to really love her, because I can’t really trust her.
For me, none of these options are good. I hate them all, actually. I’m leaning at LITTLE more towards option 1 at this point, with SOME weight still on option 2 as a possibility.
Please let me know what you’re thinking?
submitted by 1975throwaway1975 to SexAddiction [link] [comments]


2020.01.18 11:32 BodolfTheWolf Hot mum sex pics

I'm a 20yo, gay mal, I suffer from depression and anxiety, have basically for as long as I can remember. I have come out to my family and they are all accepting and loving. When I was younger, I found Craigslist, and found the porn section of it. At this time, all I could think about was what sex would be like, how amazing and fun it would be and how much I can't wait to try it out. So I found a guy. And I met up with him. He was a bit weird, licked my ear and what not. But overall he was a nice guy. Diddnt push me at all. And I think that's where it started. From then on, every now and again, I'd go back on there, I'd post an add looking to hookup. Then either I'd get off, and delete my account (I think I suffer from post coital dysphoria) because I just felt like such shit, I was angry at myself and I told myself that this isn't what I want. Skip ahead a couple months and I'm doing it again, and again, and again. The same thing over and over. Eventually I moved to grindr, and growlr. I've since been suspended from growl. I go on locanto too sometimes. I recently have been once again trying to push myself away from these apps, away from sex. I'm not scared of sex, and I don't think I'm ace either. But for me, the fantasy, The idea of sex, of meeting up with another guy is just so hot, and so nice and it gets me so hard. So I go on those apps, I chat to guys. I send lewd pics, I say things, and sometimes I hook up with random guys. And it's not healthy for me, because as soon as I go out, I realise I don't want this, but it's too late to back out now. And then I cum, and I feel like shit, then I tell myself I won't do it again, then within weeks I'm doing it again. I can stop myself from doing it for a couple weeks, but the thought comes creeping back in, my body? my mind? Telling me I want this, that I need it. I'm scared I'm just going to keep doing this and being stupid. Like right now, I told my mum I'm going out to the movies. The guy I met up with diddnt want me to stick around. So here I am, sitting outside under cover, while it pours down rain, waiting for the time to pass before I come home to make the lie believable. And I feel like such a piece of shit, doing it over and over. Maybe this isn't right for this place, maybe I just needed to get this off my chest. I just know that I don't like what I'm doing but I don't know how to stop. I read porn, I watch porn, but I always go back to wanting to hook up. I think maybe for me, I just crave contact. To be touched, to be held. And my brain/body is taking that and turning it into sex I'm horny
submitted by BodolfTheWolf to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]


2019.04.07 09:35 Ender_CO Hot mum sex pics

It has been a while since it happened and I think it’s high time I told someone anyone. It’s not like anyone is going to read this anyway. If you are reading this I urge you to keep yourself safe on the internet and don’t let yourself fall into my trap. Also I’m sorry for spelling and grammar I have really bad dyslexia.
So when I was 12 I was part of a Minecraft server community, it was very tight nit and we knew everyone there. We all operate off of Skype and all of us played together a lot. I had fun and built some cool shit with my friends but this was something that went sour fast. One user send me a DM and he started talking to me, he said he was a 12 year old boy but he never joined any voice chats so I didn’t know, I just assumed that he was telling the truth and that was the first red flag I missed. We started chatting and playing a lot together, he didn’t want me to play with any of the others and got really angry when he saw me playing with them, this was the second red flag I missed. He then started to get rather pushy and said he wanted to meet up with me so that we could talk, he first asked if I could come over but I said no and as soon as I said that he went off on a rage saying that I was a bad friend, this was my third red flag I missed. Soon after that he started asking me to play with a girls skin and he game me a rather garish skin which was one that I didn’t want to use because I was and still am a boy. He pressured me into using it and when I eventually did he started getting intimate saying that I should stay in the house and not go out because I was the woman of the house, then he said that we had to sleep in the same room to safe space and so on and so on. At this time he asked me to move onto another app I hadn’t used before. This went on until he started asking me to rp having sex with him, which at that point I said no, this is when things got bad. He then started to send me pictures, starting with a picture of my house, then one of the back of my house, then me at school and finally pictures of my family, my dad at work, my mum with my little brother, my big brother at boarding school and then finally use all together eating Sunday lunch. He then started saying that if I didn’t do what he said he would murder all my family and then finally kill me. At this time I had also been sent to boarding school so I had no way of knowing how close he was to them. So... I agreed to do as he says.
DISCLAIMER: This is where it gets bad... so please be warned that some of the stuff your about to read is horrific and still makes me want to cry today.
Over the next few days he told me to do a few different things, first he wanted me to steal some girls clothes from the lockers and when I said that I didn’t want to he sent back the phrase “You don’t have a choice slut.” This came up a lot over these 4 years. So I did as he asked, I took the clothes and when I had them he told me to put them on and “Show your master that cute body of yours”, I had no choice I had to send him pic after pic of me in the clothes I stole and eventually he said he was going to bed and that he would contact me in the morning. That night I cried myself to sleep, the first of many nights where I would cry until I passed out. After that he went on and on asking me to do things to my body that got increasingly more and more dark until he made me take a razor to my belly and write “Slave” across it, the worst part was that he wanted it to be deep so that it would scar, in my mind I though that if I didn’t he would hurt my family and from what he told me it was better that I suffered instead of all of them. After a while he started to tell me in great detail what he wanted to do to me, how he wanted to hurt me, here is a list of some of the things he wanted to do to me just so that you know what kind of a sick monster he was.
Things he wanted to do to me where: Cut off my arms and legs because and I quote “You won’t need them for what I want you for”, he wanted to shove a red hot poker up my ass to listen to my screams, tie me up and pour acid over me till he had his fun, make a horse fuck me, force me to become his toilet and so much fucking more. He even kept saying that he wanted to chop me up and cook me when he was bored with me!
Those 4 years my life was ruined, I didn’t eat I barely slept, I had to send pic after pic instead of doing my homework because “You are too much of a bimbo to do anything other than be my sex toy” so my class work went down hill, and the worst part was that I couldn’t tell my family or teachers because he said that he would know if I did it and he would do everything he wanted to do to me to all of my family. And I ducking believed him. I know what your going to ask, why not just block him? Why not just call the police? Because he made me thing that if I told the police that I would be the one that would go to jail because I stole girls clothes, he also said that if I blocked him he would just target my family. And again I fucking believed him!!! I was young and scared and now that I look back I was rather stupid to believe him, but he knew where I lived so what else could I do?
This all got worse and worse until I turned 16 and a few days after that I was talking to him and asking him why he didn’t just kidnap me, this is when he messed up, he said that if he kidnapped me now he would be found and sent to jail. In that moment his web was broken. He would not ever make a move against my family because he was a coward he was never going to do anything. He was full of empty threats and then in that moment of rational thinking I called him out on it and said that I was going to go to the police. In truth I just wanted him to be scared off and to just leave me alone, I didn’t want to tell anyone else about what happened because I felt far too humiliated by what I had done and sent to ever tell anyone, after I called him out he deleted his account. And the thing about this app is that when you delete your account it removes all of your messages so when I refreshed the page everything was gone.
To this day I regret not taking it to the police but for two years now nothing has happened and I have had no contact from him or ever seen him. I am a happier person now that I have him out of my life and I am looking to work at GCHQ when I leave UNI which I’m going to at the end of this year. To everyone who has or is experiencing this now just know that your not alone and it’s always better to get help as well as never taking these perverted pieces of shit seriously. Most if not all of them are far too cowardly to do anything.
Thanks for reading and I hope that my story helps to keep people safe in the future.
submitted by Ender_CO to stories [link] [comments]


2018.12.12 17:22 jakey_p97 Hot mum sex pics

This is going to be a long one, after posting with a different trend about this, reddit recommended this group so I thought I'd post here too.

We've been dating on and off now for 1 year now almost 2.
We started to date May 30th after knowing each other for no more than 20 days. Late July he was living with me already. I've discussed with him that I was looking for a serious relationship, and that I'm open to either being in an exclusive relationship or an open one. All I asked from each of us is transparency and honesty. I explained to him that I've been burned in the past before that I didn't want to go through those feelings again.
I'll fast track a bit. After a few weeks of being with me I found out that Grindr was still on his phone even though he said he deleted it. He told me that he was on there to talk to friends. I trusted him for a while, but then his behavior got a bit suspicious as he would always close the app when I come walking in the room. One day after work I asked him if I could go through grindr he said okay and took a shower. Being a beta tester for the app for a few years, I've learned of the tricks it had. I went to the block list and hit unblock and what I found was him swapping nudes with all these hot guys and asking if they wanted to meet up after his work before going home.
I confronted him about this. I was furious, we both cried, talked about it. He said he understood then he said he would delete the app. I told him that if he wanted to be in an open relationship, we could be all I ask is transparency and honesty, but also to put me first and our relationship before his hook ups. He said he didn't want that.
Things were going well for a week or two, we had this mutual friend who wanted to explore his sexuality with us as a couple. We talked about it and agreed that we would only play together. A few days later that friend messaged me saying that he my bf was wanting to talk after work but that he had a suspicion to his true motives. I told that mutual friend to go ahead and do whatever just keep me updated. A few hours went by after his work, that mutual friend calls me up and says my bf picked him up and drove around and almost begged for sex and was touchy about it. Then parked at a field and they did it. Afterwards my friend said that he begged him not to tell me that he would tell me the moment he got home. I wasn't mad or anything just said okay and waited.
A day goes by and still he hasn't told me and he started to act weird around me. Finally I snapped because he was being all spiteful with everything he was saying to me. Then it all was exposed and he first tried to deny it then admitted. I forgave him and we both agreed to work on us and he would be more open and honest with me. With that we both agreed to give each other access to our google activities and share location.
A few months went by things were going okay. Christmas was around the corner, his family wanted to visit his sister north of where we live about a 4-6 hour drive. But they needed logging. So for my Christmas present I got his family that.
For some reason at this time I felt that there was something off. Off they went on their family visit, I decided to log into grindr and spoof my location to the only lodge that was in the city (the other one was 6km away) I found this blank profile 15-45 meters away, had description of his age, build etc as my bf. I was like there's no way. I checked his google activities, nothing matched up. I decided to message him. First thing I asked was pics? I told the profile that I was shy and discreet. Long behold it was him.
I confronted him about this, he royally denied it. Then I found out that he created a new gmail account to throw me off of him downloading grindr. Then he goes and says that I never gave him any trust that I always doubted him. Even when he said earlier in the relationship that he loved me and I was the one that brought this upon our relationship. (This was before he moved in, I asked him if what he was feeling was true or just lust. After he reassured me, is when I was open to him moving in.)
He came back and moved out before new years. We broke up till late March of 2018 where he came back and wanted to try it all again. At this time he seemed like he learnt from his mistakes. He was more open to me and we talked about being in an open relationship. One-two months went by things were going well but something was off. It seemed to me that he was more in-tune with Grindr than us. I confronted him about this and we agreed that if he was feeling like he wanted a third or to meet up with someone that I would be the one to message people for him on my phone. I said okay to that.
A few weeks went by after that and things weren't going well, he started to get spiteful with me, blaming me that I have control over his life because I do the finances (he told me when he moved in that he wanted me to handle it because he wanted to build his credit etc. since I have my own small business and such and feeling that we were going to be together for a long time, I said yes. I have never controlled his life, if he wanted to hangout with friends or family he was more than welcome to do so. He just needed to tell me when or try to give me a days heads up because I would budget his money to make sure it last and he can fix his car.)
We talked things out and all was well. Then came our move. He got pissed off at me because I took a few mins to do something for our neighbor which took me 25 mins instead of moving. He left me at our new place (I don't drive btw) and it took me from the time we unpacked our first load to the time I helped our neighbor to the time I got back to our old place was 1 hour. So we got this issue solved.
On to our new place, ever since we were here all I've gotten from him is anger, being spiteful, jumping to conclusions and being vindictive with his actions towards me. Whenever there's a problem, I stay calm and would want to talk about it. He's told me that when I handle issues with him, I have to do it a certain way because of his learning disability. Even when I do as he says, I'm doing it wrong. Yes there are times where I would get pissed off and get frustrated because he would always jump to conclusions and when I would remind him he would just get mad at me for repeating the past.
On the 10th of this month we were going to the store to grab potatoes for our dinner and I forgot my cards. I had asked him if he had his debit card because I forgot mine. He went and said but what about saving money? I said what do you mean. He goes and says that using his card eats into his overdraft and how he's been off of work since Nov 9th. (I explained to him the friday that just past that I deposited 300.00 to his account. But it's almost all been used up because of his bills and visa. I did use 50.00 of that money when we went out to eat.) I told him okay lets just go home then and he said okay great. I said if your going to keep blaming me about the finances you might as well go back to your parents. (Note that he's been on about this since his contract was done with his work) So then he said okay fine, you know what you can walk home. So I got out of the car and walked home.
He left and the same night we were sobbing to one another over the phone. He said sorry to me because he over reacted again, etc.
Now I'm feeling that I've fucked up. I don't know what to do anymore. I love the guy and we've worked on so much together. I feel like I shouldn't have done our finances together. I feel like I have this anger that I never knew I had.
Am I over reacting in this? A lot of my friends and family says he's taking advantage of me, that he has me by the palm of his hand. We just finished texting this AM as I'm writing this and the way he messages me is quite spiteful. He told me to help him find a job and when I suggested to him that if friday you don't hear back from the places we've applied to on Indeed that he should call them up to show initiative and just ask for a follow up, he started to sound pissed or annoyed and just told me not to worry about it. Even though he keeps telling me about how much he's used up for his over draft.
I asked him what the plans are for christmas and new years, he said I'll see you at new years. So I asked him how about christmas, there was a long pause so I said if you don't want me there right now I can understand. He said that's what his mom suggested and that he needed a week of space. He told me he's not seeing anyone else just that he needed space.
So I said okay and then I asked him if he was just seeing me during new years eve and day or if were going to plan to be a few days together, I told him that it might be too late to book something to go somewhere because things are almost already booked up at this point. He then goes and says well we also don't have any money. (Money has never been the issue. I work hard for mine and don't mind spending it with people I care about) so I told him not to worry about that.
He then said all they do in the house is talk about our relationship. So I said well if your feelings change as you talk about us meaning if your figuring things out I would understand. I know how sly his mum can be and how she acts all innocent but injects thoughts and ideas into people's minds. She's bashed her son behind his back before to me but then says it not that I don't love him its just that he can be a bit much.
I feel like I'm rambling now. I just don't know what to do. I have two friends I talk to about my relationship but that's it and my mom doesn't like him because of whats he's done so she's kinda hard to talk to about this.
I know it takes 2 to have a relationship but am I the main issue of this relationship or am I not seeing something?
submitted by jakey_p97 to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2018.03.21 16:13 StoriesOfAvalon Sex mum pics hot

This is going to be a long one, and for that I apologise. This happened to me when I was 17. And it ruined me. My Dad cheated on my Mum and I found him out, and then spied on him.
It all started when my Dad and I were at this educational event together, and sitting in a hall watching a speech from one of my teachers. It was about my future, essentially, and it didn't take me long to notice my Dad texting. My dad was always a texter. He was always on his phone, always typing. When I was with him alone I always used to think he was texting my mum, and when were were together as a family I always used to think he was texting his friends. But eventually you do start to notice things that aren't right. Like the way he had his brightness down, or the practised way he tilted his body away from mine when I got too close, or the little smiles that used to curl the corners of his lips.
I glanced over during the speech, and saw him texting someone with x's at the end of each sentence. It wasn't a big deal, but I noticed the person he was texting was called simply "."
I call her Dot.
I knew it wasn't my Mum because I had seen her name on his phone. I can't begin to explain to you how awful I felt in that single second. It was the same draining, cold, teary, feeling that you get when someone brakes suddenly in a car. You know when you feel so shocked, so upset, so stunned that your feet and hands go cold and your throat seems to choke you? It was like that.
I don't remember what I did immediately after. I remember fighting tears, and I remember how at ease my dad was, how normal he acted. It was extremely hard for me for a few days because I couldnt connect my Dad - the father who taught me so many things, the guy who was funny but somehow had me at a distance at the same time- to the typical, macho, womanizing cheater that I had heard of so much in tv and films. Connecting that cheater stereotype to my father was the most difficult thing I've ever done.
I kept it to myself. It tore me up inside for weeks before I regained control of myself enough to realise that I had no proof, and I shouldn't cause myself any more distress until I knew more....and that's where the spying part came in.
My dad is my dad, and I love him (and kind of hate him at the same time), but I know him. I grew up living in the shockwaves of his mistakes, living in the aftermath of the huge fights him and my mother had about cheating and rumours. We lived in a community where rumours spread like wildfire, so on multiple occasions they had ridiculously big rows about my Dad. But each time my Dad would wriggle out of it. He would cry and promise and beg for forgiveness. He would dismiss the rumours and dismiss my Mum's worries, and each time I would be left wondering how the hell he did it. Because now I think "dear god, how could we have just let it go? There was proof, right there, but we let ourselves ignore it?"
He was an expert at wriggling out of trouble. He could talk his way out of anything, my Dad. So I decided that if I was going to tell anyone else and do this to my family, I would need proof so concrete that not even my Dad could slip out of anything.
So I memorized the password to his phone. It was so easy. I just glanced down. I think a lot about how lax he was around me. Like he would text 'Dot' in front of me like I was too stupid to figure it out. That hurts. Like I wasn't even worth the caution.
Over a period of 3 months I spied on him. I took whatever opportunity I could, going into his phone and taking photos of messages on my own phone, writing down the numbers he was texting, making notes of the conversations. I made a notebook compiling all of the "data" and that was that.
Let me tell you something...I make it sound easy here. But nothing will ever compare to the terror and shame I felt whilst going through his phone. I knew in some weird vigilante way what I was doing was right, but after I got what I wanted I would run upstairs and have a panic attack. I would cry and hyperventilate and all that time my family was going about their own business, believing they were happy. I have never felt more lost and lonely. I felt sick of myself, sick to the core just from my own shame...because it was wrong, in a way, but I was terrified that no one would believe me unless I had proof. I knew I needed it, so I carried on. It was nauseating.
I learnt a lot. He was messaging one woman at the moment. She wasn't married, but she had a kid and grandkids. She lived in a place that my dad used to go to for "work". This was 'Dot' and I didnt know who she was, but he also spoke to another woman who I knew, with implications that they had had an affair previously. He mentioned several gifts he'd sent to her...hundreds of pounds of his money....that stung, because I had liked her as a kid. I had always thought she was pretty.
'Dot' was more painful though. For several reasons. I got the typical half nude pics and dirty messages, but what else killed me was the normality of it...like they were married too. She would send him photos of her and her grandkids, her and her daughter, or asking his opinion on a new dress. He'd tell her about my Mum, and what my Mum had said that he didn't like, or what me or my siblings had done that annoyed him. The way he took our life and told this stranger about us, about our personal information...that tore me up. Because he was confiding in her, asking for advice, and being so affectionate that it was hard to remember my dad and this sender-of-the-texts were both the same person.
That was worse than the sex.
Another thing that really made me angry, was that the woman he was talking to was fucking ugly. It wasn't a blonde with big boobs...it was a 50 year old lady that looked like a shitty imitation of my Mum. This isn't just me being biased...but my Mum is hot? People mistake us for sisters, and I spent high school keeping her away from my male friends. She looks AMAZING for her age and on top of that she's one of the kindest, most trusting people ever? And she loves my dad a so much.
He always used to tell her what to wear too. Like if she didn't wear tight clothes he'd sulk, and if she didn't wear heels because her feet hurt he'd throw a hissy fit. The biggest fight they ever had was because my dad exploded because my mum didn't want to wear leather knee high boots to her own Mum's family Christmas party.
So....what the fuck???
Eventually I had a lot of information and needed something to do with it. I considered phoning the number for 'Dot' on a telephone box and doing it myself, but I was becoming mentally ill from the stress and self-disgust of it all. I couldn't bring myself to tell my mum, to spoil the life she thought she had, so I told my Grandmother (my Mum's Mum). I asked to sleep over and I just told her, and showed her everything. At first I thought I had upset her (I was genuinely scared that people would hate me for what I did) but eventually she got up, drove to my house, kicked my dad out after scaring him shitless, and then took my siblings and Mum to her house. She's an amazing lady.
That night was the worst of my life. Being cheated on by a partner is awful...but being cheated on by your own father, by the man you're tied to by blood, by the man who's made you laugh and cry, by the man who's meant to love and protect you and you family forever...its vile. Its the most vile, disgusting, torturous thing that could happen. And on top of that, I had the guilt, because I saw my Mum heartbroken and my siblings sobbing, I saw my dad looking at me as if I was a different person, I saw my grandparents from both sides being surprised at my own determination to bring my Dad's lies to light.....and I felt like it was all my fault.
If only I had stayed quiet, and lived with the knowledge. If only I had rang that number. If only I had spoken to my dad. If only...if only...if only...
The end of the story is fairly simple. After hearing about my discover through my Dad, 'Dot' was apparently very upset, and her daughter texted me saying how upset her mother was. Like I gave a single solitary shit about her ugly mother...but to be fair to the daughter, she apologised over and over, and was very...understanding about it. But she wouldn't tell me anything. I asked her about other women, about how long it had been going on, or how they did it behind our backs, but she refused to say anything. She was protecting her mother in the same way I was protecting mine but that didn't stop me hating her for keeping the full truth from me.
Oh, and my Dad tried to manipulate me. He kept on asking how much proof I had, and what it was....and I know that he wanted to know so he could come up with lies to fit around it, so I didn't tell him. When I refused, He told me how I'd broken his heart, how I had it all wrong, and even though I was traumatised by all the shit I'd been through, he refused to tell me to my face what he'd done. He still doesn't talk about it, because although I'm an adult now, he still doesn't think its any of my business.
Days passed. I told my Grandparents from my Dad's side and they didn't believe me until I showed them the dirty texts. Seeing them look at me like they did when they knew the extent of my involvement snapped me. Suddenly I wasn't a cute little kid to them...I felt like a manipulative monster, almost like I wasn't human.
The final resolution was, basically, my Mum took my dad back. Yeah. Typing this out and reliving it like this blows my mind that he's still with my family. But...forgiveness, I suppose? I think my Mum was afraid she wouldn't find anyone else, and I suspect love was involved. But I was angry, furious, heartbroken, and beyond the help of love. I would snap at random times for months afterwards, like my Dad would tell me to clean my room and I would freak out, screaming at him. Because how could he even think about ordering me about when he'd done what he did to me? How dare he try and shout at me for not walking the dog when he'd done what he did? How was that fair? It wasn't right somehow.
Its better now. My relationship ended because when I shut off my emotions to be able to spy on him, it was like my body refused to let any emotion be there. I can't trust people anymore, and I can't feel emotions in romance and compassion as well as I used to. Admittedly that lack of romantic attraction may just be my sexuality, but my Dad didn't help.
It took me a long time to rebuild myself. I lost my childhood and my faith in people, and I knew I couldn't trudt anyone fully again. Because who do you trust more than your own parents? And one of mine betrayed me? I can't open up anymore. That happy, carefree, trusting girl has gone, and I'll never get her back.
I notice I've typed "to me" a lot...but that's because I do believe my Dad did this to me as well as my Mum, though she tells me differently. Whether he did it to me or not, I'm still affected. I still have nightmares, still have angry spikes, still cry about it, and every time I see my Dad there's a dark shadow. Because I know he thinks I betrayed him too. And that's unfair but understandable at the same time. I'm a piece of shit.
If you've read this far, thank you. I'd like to hear your thoughts on whether or not I did the right thing, and what you would have done if you were me. Please don't hate me....I know I did a shitty thing. I feel like I'm rotting inside some days. Also don't fucking cheat, okay? Most of the time you're doing more damage than you think.
Any thoughts on this and how I can recover would be nice. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask? And sorry about any grammaspelling inconsistencies.
Thank you.
submitted by StoriesOfAvalon to confessions [link] [comments]


2018.03.20 21:59 StoriesOfAvalon Hot mum sex pics

This is going to be a long one, and for that I apologise. This happened to me when I was 17. And it ruined me. My Dad cheated on my Mum and I found him out, and then spied on him.
It all started when my Dad and I were at this educational event together, and sitting in a hall watching a speech from one of my teachers. It was about my future, essentially, and it didn't take me long to notice my Dad texting. My dad was always a texter. He was always on his phone, always typing. When I was with him alone I always used to think he was texting my mum, and when were were together as a family I always used to think he was texting his friends. But eventually you do start to notice things that aren't right. Like the way he had his brightness down, or the practised way he tilted his body away from mine when I got to close, or the little smiles that used to curl the corners of his lips.
I glanced over during the speech, and saw him texting someone with x's at the end of each sentence. It wasn't a big deal, but I noticed the person he was texting was called simply "."
I call her Dot.
I knew it wasn't my Mum because I had seen her name on his phone. I can't begin to explain to you how awful I felt in that single second. It was like the same draining, cold, teary, feeling that you get when someone brakes suddenly in the car. You know when you feel so shocked, so upset, so stunned that your feet and hands go cold and your throat seems to choke you? It was like that.
I don't remember what I did immediately after. I remember fighting tears, and I remember how at ease my dad was, how normal he acted. It was extremely hard for me for a few days because I could connect my Dad - the father who taught me so many things, the guy who was funny but someone had a distance at the same time- to the typical, macho, womanizing cheater that I had heard of so much on tv and films. Connecting that cheater stereotype to my father was the most difficult thing I've ever done.
I kept it to myself. It tore me up inside for weeks before I regained control of myself enough to realise that I had no proof, and I shouldn't cause myself any more distress until I knew more....and that's where the spying part came in.
My dad is my dad, and I love him (and kind of hate him at the same time), but I know him. I grew up living in the shockwaves of his mistakes, living in the aftermath of the huge fights him and my mother had about cheating and rumours. We lived in a community where rumours spread like wildfire, so on multiple occasions that had ridiculously big rows about my dad. But each time my dad would wriggle out of it. He would cry and promise and beg for forgiveness. He would dismiss the rumours and dismiss my mums worries, and each time I would be left wondering how the hell he did it. Because now I think "dear god, how could we have just let it go? There was proof, right there, but we let ourselves ignore it?"
He was an expert at wriggling out of trouble. He could talk his way out of anything, my dad. So I decided that if I was going to tell anyone else and do this to my family, I would need proof so concrete that not even my dad could slip out of anything.
So I memorized the password to his phone. It was so easy. I just glanced down. I think a lot about how lax he was around me. Like he would text 'Dot' in front of me like I was too stupid to figure it out. That hurts. Like I wasn't even worth the caution.
Over a period of 3 months I spied on him. I took whatever opportunity I could, going into his phone and taking photos of messages on my own phone, writing down the numbers he was texting, making notes of the conversations. I made a notebook compiling all of the "data" and that was that.
Let me tell you something...I make it sound easy here. But nothing will ever compare to the terror and shame I felt whilst going through his phone. I knew in some weird vigilante way what I was doing was right, but after I got what I wanted I would run upstairs and have a panic attack. I would cry and hyperventilate and all that time my family was going about their own business, believing they were happy. I have never felt more lost and lonely. I felt sick of myself, sick to the core just from my own shame...because it was wrong, in a way, but I was terrified that no one would believe me unless I had proof. I knew I needed it, so I carried on.
I learnt a lot. He was messaging one woman at the moment. She wasn't married, but she had a kid and grandkids. She lived in a place that my dad used to go to for "work". This was 'Dot' and indigent know who she was but but he also spoke to another woman who I knew with implications that they had had an affair. He mentioned several gifts he'd sent to her...hundreds of pounds of his money....that stung, because I had liked her as a kid. I had always thought she was pretty.
'Dot' was more painful though. For several reasons. I got the typical half nude pics and dirty messages, but what else killed me was the normality of it...like they were married too. She would send him photos of her and her grandkids, her and her daughter, or asking his opinion on a new dress. He'd tell her about my mum, and what my mum had said that he didn't like, or what me or my siblings had done that annoyed him. The way he took our life and told this stranger about us, about our personal information...that tore me up. Because he was confiding in her, asking for advice, and being so affectionate that it was hard to remember my dad and this sender-of-the-texts were both the same person.
That was worse than the sex.
Another thing that really made me angry, was that the woman he was talking to was fucking ugly. It wasn't a blonde with big boobs...it was a 50 year old lady that looked like a shitty imitation of my mum. This isn't just me being biased...but my mum is hot? People mistake us for sisters, and I spent high school keeping away my male friends. She looks AMAZING for her age and on top of that she's one of the kindest, most trusting people ever? And she loves my dad!
He always used to tell her what to wear too. Like if she didn't wear tight clothes he'd sulk, and if she didn't wear heels because her feet hurt he'd throw a hissy fit. The biggest fight they ever had was because my dad exploded because my mum didn't want to wear leather knee high boots to her own mum's family Christmas party.
So....what the fuck???
Eventually I had a lot of information and needed something to do with it. I considered phoning the number on a telephone box and doing it myself, but I was becoming mentally ill from the stress and self-disgust of it all. I couldn't bring myself to tell my mum, to spoil the life she thought she had, so I told my Grandmother (my mum's mum). I asked to sleep over and I just told her, and showed her. At first I thought I had upset her (I was genuinely scared that people would hate me for what I did) but eventually she got up, drove to my house, kicked my dad out after scaring him shitless, and then took my siblings and mum to her house. She's an amazing lady.
That night was the worst of my life. Being cheated on by a partner is awful...but being cheated on by your own father, by the man you're tied to with blood, by the man who's made you laugh and cry, by the man who's meant to love and protect you and you family forever...its vile. Its the most vile, disgusting, torturous thing that could happen. And on top of that, I had the guilt, because I saw my Mum heartbroken and my siblings sobbing, I saw my dad looking at me as if I was a different person, I saw my grandparents from both sides being surprised at my own determination to bring my Dad's lies to light.....and I felt like it was all my fault.
If only I had stayed quiet, and lived with the knowledge. If only I had rang that number. If only I had spoken to my dad. If only...if only...if only...
The end of the story is fairly simple. After hearing about my discover through my Dad, 'Dot' was apparently very upset, and her daughter texted me saying how upset her mother was. Like I gave a single solitary shit about her ugly mother...but to be fair to the daughter, she apologised over and over, and was very...understanding about it. But she wouldn't tell me anything. I asked her about other women, about how long it had been going on, or how they did it behind our backs, but she refused to say anything. She was protecting her mother in the same way I was protecting mine but that didn't stop me hating her for keeping the full truth from me.
Oh, and my Dad tried to manipulate me. He kept on asking how much proof I had, and what it was....and I know that he wanted to know so he could come up with lies to fit around it, so I didn't tell him. When I refused, He told me how I'd broken his heart, how I had it all wrong, and even though I was traumatised by all the shit I'd been through, he refused to tell me to my face what he'd done. He still doesn't talk about it, because although I'm an adult now, he still doesn't think its any of my business.
Days passed. I told my Grandparents from my Dad's side and they didn't believe me until I showed them the dirty texts. Seeing them look at me like they did when they knew the extent of my involvement snapped me. Suddenly I wasn't a cute little kid to them...I felt like a manipulative monster, almost like I wasn't human.
The final resolution was basically, my mum took my dad back. Yeah. Typing this out blows my mind that he's still with my family. But...forgiveness, I suppose? I think my mum was afraid she wouldn't find anyone else, and I suspect love was involved. But I was angry, furious, heartbroken, and beyond the help of love. I would snap at random times for months afterwards, like my dad would tell me to clean my room and I would freak out, screaming at him. Because how could he even think about ordering me about when he'd done what he did to me? That wasn't right somehow.
Its better now. My relationship ended because when I shut off my emotions to be able to spy on him, it was like my body refused to let any emotion be there. I can't trust people anymore, and i can't feel emotions in romance and compassion as well as I used to. Admittedly that lack of romantic attraction may just be my sexuality, but my dad didn't help.
It took me a long time to rebuild myself. I lost my childhood and my faith in people, and I knew I couldn't resist anyone fully again. Because who do you trust more than your own parents? And one of mine betrayed me? I can't open up anymore. That happy, carefree, trusting girl has gone, and I'll never get her back.
I notice I've typed "to me" a lot...but that's because I do believe my dad did this to me as well as my mum, though she tells me differently. Whether he did it to me or not, I'm still affected. I still have nightmares, still have angry spikes, still cry about it, and every time I see my dad there's a dark shadow. Because I know he thinks I betrayed him too. And that's unfair but understandable at the same time. I'm a piece of shit.
If you've read this far, thank you. I'd like to hear your thoughts on whether or not I did the right thing, and what you would have done if you were me. Please don't hate me....I know I did a shitty thing. I feel like I'm rotting inside some days. Also don't fucking cheat, okay? Most of the time you're doing more damage than you think.
Any thoughts on this and how I can recover would be nice. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask? And sorry about any grammaspelling inconsistencies.
Thank you.
submitted by StoriesOfAvalon to offmychest [link] [comments]


2018.02.06 22:00 GraxPy Pics hot sex mum

Post# Title Subreddit Url Upvotes
1 Today February 5, 2018, the Berlin Wall is down exactly as long as it was up - 10316 days. /pics link 131808
2 Sad picture of Wall Street traders reacting as stock market plunges. /funny link 87561
3 New 'Deadpool 2' Poster /movies link 83197
4 "You're home! Rub my belly!" /aww link 79735
5 Medical Marijuana passes VA Senate 40-0. /news link 75201
6 Britons Respond to Trump Attack on UK Healthcare - 'Nobody Here Would Trade for What America Has': "In Britain, the poor don't need to win the lottery to afford medical care." /worldnews link 74257
7 Buster Keaton gets rejected by a hatcheck girl without a word being spoken in Seven Chances (1925) /movies link 72968
8 I'm an elephant now! /aww link 70009
9 I read that golden retrievers mouthes are gentle enough for an egg, so I tried with my pitmix. /aww link 66521
10 Peeling ice from a leaf /oddlysatisfying link 66185
11 My friend won a $23,000 drone at the LA drone film festival with this video /videos link 63108
12 "Rainbow Farm" /pics link 61037
13 Excited for the olympics?? /funny link 58216
14 Vietnamese activist jailed for 14 years for live-streaming protest against steel plant’s pollution: The US$10.6 billion steel complex discharged toxins such as cyanide and phenol during a test run in April 2016, killing massive amounts of fish and other sea life along more than 200km of coastline. /worldnews link 57236
15 FEMA Contract Called for 30 Million Meals for Puerto Ricans. 50,000 Were Delivered. /news link 58938
16 Tobacco farmers could make more money converting their fields to solar arrays, land use study finds. /science link 52966
17 What next? /gaming link 52663
18 The first person who will be killed by a sex robot is probably already walking among us, unaware of how unflattering their obituary is going to read. /Showerthoughts link 51389
19 Assigned seating /gifs link 51627
20 Strongman. /funny link 47220
21 'Frasier' Star John Mahoney Dead at 77 /television link 44729
22 TIL that the gym chain Planet Fitness, which charges between $10 and $20 per month, has, on average, 6,500 members per gym. Most of its gyms can hold around 300 people. Planet Fitness can do this because it knows that members won't show up. /todayilearned link 45050
23 Toto’s ‘Africa’ hit #1 exactly 35 years ago today. /Music link 43888
24 Peeling ice from a leaf /gifs link 43674
25 [Image] Fake it 'til you make it. /GetMotivated link 42978
26 Trump calls Dems who didn't clap during State of the Union 'treasonous' and 'un-American' /nottheonion link 45616
27 Finally done with chemo for testicular cancer! Best birthday gift ever. /pics link 39751
28 This robin I shared a bench with /mildlyinteresting link 40020
29 Pick your fighter /funny link 39422
30 me🎉irl /me_irl link 38851
31 Nailed it. /funny link 38731
32 Federal judge who Donald Trump disparaged as 'Mexican' set to preside over US-Mexico border wall case /politics link 38193
33 We're the reporters who found 100+ former politicians’ campaign accounts spending campaign donations years after the campaign was over — sometimes, even when the politician was dead. AUA /IAmA link 39889
34 How the inception hallway scene was shot /interestingasfuck link 37396
35 Best frens /rarepuppers link 37054
36 Too hot or too cold /memes link 37825
37 Introducing Darrel 'The Barrel' Hales /sports link 35322
38 Snoking kills! /PrequelMemes link 34827
39 Monster Hunter Character Creation Tool Cosplay /gaming link 43972
40 This is why I'm single... /Tinder link 33412
41 TIL that when William the Conqueror died his funeral was delayed for several days. By the time they laid him to rest his body was too bloated from decay to fit in his tomb. They tried to force it in and he exploded. /todayilearned link 33843
42 Look at it! 🔥 /NatureIsFuckingLit link 31924
43 After seeing Trump call Democrats “treasonous” and “un-American” for not clapping for him during his State of the Union /PoliticalHumor link 31454
44 Worked at a theater, can confirm. /WhitePeopleTwitter link 30750
45 this is what happens when you vape on the highway! /oddlysatisfying link 30168
46 Duckworth fires back at Trump: I swore an oath to the Constitution, not 'Cadet Bone Spurs' /politics link 29507
47 Mums vs Dads /funny link 30209
48 Academic murder. /MurderedByWords link 29126
49 hmmm /hmmm link 28966
50 PsBattle: Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau at a restaurant /photoshopbattles link 30297
submitted by GraxPy to GraxPy [link] [comments]