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2020.09.30 22:17 NekoSunami Cam hard sex

I just wanted to vent because I feel distressed. I wanted to know if anyone else struggles with customized content.
I am new to onlyfans and I have my account so that I do this for fun. That I post 3 times a week for right now at the least but sometimes I post everyday. Well, I got my First Lady customer. She was very nice. She asked me to do a 10 minute video with a specific outfit for $60 and even though that’s pretty low for me, I took it. After that, She asked me to do a 15 minute video and she wanted me in a school girl outfit. I told her I needed sometime to get the outfit and that my work is really hard right now and I needed time. I told her I was working doubles and I had personal things going on and I appreciated her patience. She did not pay me and we didn’t discuss a timeline. Time started to get away from me.
On my side (My Mom is really sick. One of my teeth is really infected and my hormones are all off and it makes me really upset easily. I’m working like crazy because we are understaffed.)
🥺 4 days later she yells at me! She tells me how I shouldn’t do this line of work if I can’t do a steady stream of personal content. That I might as well not do onlyfans at all if I’m not going to do it 100%. That what’s the point and people might as well go watch porn. (Mind you I’ve still posted everyday.) I felt like she really ragged on me when I was already feeling really upset and she ended up being so adamant that she ended up making me cry.
I tried to calm her down and told her about my work again and I apologized because I still do feel bad and that I was in the wrong. After an 8 hour shift I drove an hour away to grab an outfit because I knew shipping wasn’t fast enough. It was like $40.... I told myself I would want to have an outfit like this anyways. After a bad day being with my Mom in the hospital I got dressed up with lights and a backdrop and everything and I tried to do this video to make this angry lady happy out of obligation.
I get about 8 minutes in and I just start getting so uncomfortable and sick to my stomach. I felt under the gun and so uncomfortable that I seized up and felt so uncomfortable and exhausted. I started to feel even worse because I knew she would yell at me again if I couldn’t get it done today. I told her I was sorry. That I tried. I post the 8 minutes that were good and silenced her because I didn’t want her being mean to me. I told her that I understood if she wanted to get her money back from my subscription price.
I’m new at this and maybe I’m not cut out for this but I think I need to set my own boundaries better. It’s my life and my body. I am the type of person who struggles with mental health. I am not a sex robot for anyone and I just wanted this to be fun. I started camming yesterday and that feels better for me. I want to set better boundaries. I need to understand my own limits..I want to have better communication. I want to have people pay me upfront and pay me more going forward for my time.
Does anyone else struggle with content requests?
Thanks for letting me vent.
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2020.09.30 17:00 SumSum_3306 Hard sex cam

I almost don't even know where to begin. My boyfriend and I have been dating for the last 7 months, and have been in an exclusive relationship for the past 5 months. We dated before for 1.5 years, but I ended things (we were apart for 8 months). That is a whole other story, but let's just say it did not end very well, and I felt a lot of guilt for what I put him through. We had met 2 months after I had ended a 4.5 year emotionally abusive relationship and I was still very raw. I reached out to him 7 months ago and just profusely apologized, explained all of my actions (mostly me being very distant and hard to reach emotionally because of the past abuse), and that nothing he had done was wrong. That I was 100% culpable for my actions, and that if he wanted to talk to me I would love that, but if not he could just trash that email and continue living his life, and I would completely understand.
Well, he responded. We started talking again and seeing each other every weekend. I knew that he was talking to other women when we first started seeing one another. I did not know to what extent. But, he was very distant, and sometimes very very cold. He would essentially see me on the weekend, and then treat me like I was invisible for the rest of the week. I saw it as penance for our last relationship, that I should give him this healing time. That I should keep proving myself to him to show him that this was real, that I deeply loved him, that I am a good person inside and out, and that I had needed the time to really work on myself and heal from my past relationship trauma and from other factors (fathers alcoholism, law school imposter syndrome, etc.). I told him that I wanted to build this relationship from the ground up with nothing but open communication, trust, love, and loyalty. That I would never make him feel judged, that I would always support him, and that no matter what I would be by his side to cheer him on.
About three months into our dating, and about a month of exclusivity, I kept having this nagging feeling that he was lying to me. That natural gut instinct that kicks in when something is just not right. It is like we can sniff out the lies. I was having really bad anxiety about it, thinking I was going crazy. Because he would say all of these beautiful amazing things to me, tell me how amazing everything was, tell me how much he loved me, how this has made him so happy. And yet, the moment we were apart he would disappear. I would feel completely alone, and so unloved. He would give and then just take it all away. Make me feel ultra loved, and then ghost me for a day. I didn't know what was going on, so all I could think was that he was cheating on me. This went on for months. I never fought with him, I never really even brought it up. I just kept working at it. I kept communicating, I didn't let the anxiety ruin anything by making me be too reactive, I didn't withhold. I thought if I just kept putting everything on the line, he would eventually come around and really see me for who I am.
Fast forward to the beginning of September. My anxiety had completely reduced me to looking at his phone. I find a naked picture of another woman, who I identify as one of his ex's, and a lot of dick pics. I am unwound by this. I confront him, and ask what I am looking at. He says he didn't even know that was on his phone, or when he downloaded it, but he probably did it at some point to "jerk off to." I am stunned and totally disgusted. Folks, this is the tip of the fucking iceberg. I forgive him, say I get it, but listen I have some serious boundaries when it comes to this. I said I am not comfortable with you having that on your phone and it needs to be gone forever. I said that naked pictures of ex's is completely crossing the line. He apologized, said he had no intention of hurting me, and deleted it.
This past Monday I was at his place alone. He has an old cell phone that he keeps by his bed that he told me he uses for the alarm. I opened it. Porn. Nothing but porn. Fine, okay I can deal with the fact that his camera roll has nothing but images of women and videos of blow jobs. I go to the web browser and I see a reddit thread. I am like, what am I looking at? It was an account name I had never heard of before, because he shows me his reddit all the time. This apparently was his sex reddit. Where he would post seeking ads on reddit with photos of his dick that would say things like "Anyone want to come play with this? *Insert the city we live in*" And that was from 2 months ago. There were a total of 3 visible seeking posts that he had on that account with photos of his dick, that had been posted 3 months ago and 2 months ago. Then, I go to the messages. I still cannot believe the vile trash that I was reading. He is disgusting.
But now I see that he has a KiK account, I literally didn't even know what KiK was, but he was sending messages to all of these women and saying add me on KiK. So I google it, and realize it is an anonymous app that people use for sexting or hookups. I screen shot everything, and send it to him. He denies it all, plays it off like he would never "do anything that he thought was wrong at the time." Tells me that they are not "real people." Just lie after lie after lie. So, what do I do? I message one of these supposed "cam girls" as he told me. Guess what? Not a cam girl, a whole ass woman who lives in NYC and did me the favor or sending links and screenshots, and saying "ugh, he is total trash," when I informed her what had happened.
We get on the phone later and I tell him everything that I know. That I had contacted this woman, that he is a liar and that he is a cheater, and that if he had anything else to disclose he better fess up because you best believe I am going to find out. Apparently, he ALSO was still occasionally having sexually inappropriate conversations with a woman he had a one night stand with like the night before he met up with me to talk for the first time in March. On top of that, he said he was talking to between 5-10 women on KiK, but claims to have not been "consistent" with any of them. Oh and that the conversations on KiK were so he could jerk off, and that he had no intention of meeting them in real life. (sure). I am humiliated.
I am just physically disgusted by all of this, my skin just crawls at the thought of him even trying to touch me ever again. He has begged me for forgiveness, but I have in my mind reduced him to a stranger. We are still in a relationship, but it is a hollowed out shell of what it was. I don't know what to do. This is all so shocking and has only been discovered this past Monday. I have never in my entire life felt so betrayed by this man who only 2 weeks ago was planning out where we could live and an engagement ring. All I kept asking him was how could he possibly live with the guilt? How could he possibly look me in the eyes and tell me he loves me after all of the torture he has put me through? How can anyone truly be this damaged?
I need help. Someone tell me what I probably already know. I feel so stupid. I am absolutely crushed.
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2020.09.30 15:58 ChocoMilk100 Hard sex cam

Hello, I wanted to make a confession of what I did when I was 19 years old two years ago, this is a mistake that I've tried to make peace with but I just can't. I have these thoughts lingering in my head every day and I question if I even deserve love and respect. So here goes: Ever since I was 12 years old, I became extremely drawn to pornography. It has pretty much consumed my life and still struggle with to this day, I always turn to it when I'm upset, or even bored, I am on the autism spectrum so my mind is very vulnerable to addiction. So because of so much porn I consumed, I became desensitized to it and got bored watching a man and a woman. Eventually I started watching lesbian porn, then gay porn (I'm straight and have no interest in having a relationship with a man, but I see nothing wrong with being homosexual), then it escalated to rape porn, threesomes, trans porn, and even incest pornography. These are things I was never interested in, but my addicted mind became so drawn after it became desensitized to normal pornography. So eventually, I turned 13 and started downloading dating apps and talking to cam girls. I was absolutely craving sex so bad, that I texted my address in the live chat in a cam girl website, I even followed a woman once at 15 but walked away because I didn't like what I was doing, and never truly planned to do anything. And on dating apps, I always tried to find a girl my age or around my age to sext with, then eventually Ivgot frustrated and bored, and got to the point that I ended up not caring and wanted to talk to anybody. Older women, boys my age, older men, trans women, you name it. I even told girls or women that were nearby that I wanted to meet up and have sex, but never did. Simply the concept that it COULD happen is what turned me on, but I never engaged in sex with anyone I met online luckily. At one point, I talked to a pedophilic man and did not care one bit. We sexted and we both talked dirty the whole time. It was a time where I simply didn't care who I talked to, all that mattered was that a person online wants to do something sexual with me, so I went for it so I could get that dopamine rush. Like a drug. Every time I climaxed, I hated it and didn't want to keep doing it with the person I was talking to. The only times where I climaxed and never felt shame, was when I sexted with a girl my age and legitimately was attracted to them.
Eventually I turned 19 and was trying so hard to keep this severe addiction out of my life, but there was this one incident that occurred that really woke me up to what exactly I was doing. I ended up getting a random message for someone on instagram. Apparently they were a 13 year old girl and wanted a boyfriend. I was in a state trying to find a person to sext with so I shamefully went for it without really grasping what I was doing. We flirted and I wanted to video chat, so she called. Suddenly I hear a man's voice telling me I'm a disgusting human being, which completely turned me off and frightened me immensely. He told me he was gonna call the police, and I seriously thought my life was over. I called some family members and was worried they would see me as a pedophile and a freak, but I'm glad to say that they didn't think that at all, and simply gave me emotional support and told me to stay away from these dating apps and sites. I was somewhat relieved but was worried the police would come at my door and take me to prison. My family and friends seeing me as a sick individual who likes children and should rot in a cell. I've never touched a child and I was never tempted to neither. There were plenty of opportunities where me and a child were alone, but I had absolutely no interest in doing anything to them, and the simple thought of me and a child engaging in...you know what, made me grossed out and uncomfortable. All of my fantasies were crushes I had in school, even when I was talking to a guy on a dating site, I never pictured him in bed with me, I kept imagining him as a woman every time. I'm very proud to say that I have no interest in engaging in an activity like that with children, and never brought harm to kids in my life, but my OCD causes me to question myself everyday, and I'm always worried that my reputation will be ruined by this. I want to have an amazing career as a writer, but don't want to be famous. I don't want cancel culture to dig through my past and expose my mistakes due to the chat between me and that person on instagram being screenshot. There are days where I contemplate suicide, but I realize how much I would hurt my family by doing such a thing. I'm confessing all of this now because I can't take it anymore, I want to live an amazing life with a wife and kids, and a super fun career to make me happy. I have no desire to harm anyone or have a relationship with a child, and the people who do should be ashamed and seek help. I just want to hear from all of you and your thoughts. I want to get reassurance that I'm not a creep and I want to do good for everyone. I just felt so desperate in my teen years because of my severe porn addiction, and the desire to be in a relationship with a woman. I've had no luck, so I made mistakes out of desperation and loneliness. It doesn't excuse the mistake I made, it was wrong, stupid, and not ok. I will never justify it. I'm 21 now and never made this mistake again, I'm still addicted to porn but I never try to view anything repulsive or visit dark websites. I'm always talking to girls that are 18+ and am not interested in kids or teens. But I just want to ask, am I a bad or creepy person? I just wanna know, I need closure.
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2020.09.30 05:15 Arachnid_101 A weird situation, pls help

Hi, is it possible that one feels like they have a good enough erection when the stimulus is strong enough? For eg, if u get to sleep with an attractive stranger or are just with them online (cam sex) but not with your wife/husband. And it's not like the spouse is unattractive or something..but u can't get a hard on with them. It's like the mind has separated the sexually arousing side of theirs and dumped it somewhere and all u r left with is a person you can give your life for but just can't have sex with?
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2020.09.30 05:06 Arachnid_101 A taboo question, but I am curious..

Hi, is it possible that one feels like they have a good enough erection when the stimulus is strong enough? For eg, if u get to sleep with an attractive stranger or are just with them online (cam sex) but not with your wife/husband. And it's not like the spouse is unattractive or something..but u can't get a hard on with them. It's like the mind has separated the sexually arousing side of theirs and dumped it somewhere and all u r left with is a person you can give your life for but just can't have sex with?
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2020.09.30 01:03 incorruptible_bk Hard sex cam

9PM Sept. 29: Clare Bronfman has demanded an in-person hearing at the Eastern District court in Brooklyn. Consequently, there will be no call-in number to listen in on the proceedings.
Sorry to get folks hopes up on that.
I'd like to say that this turn belies Bronfman's lawyers' "concerns" about COVID-19. There will undoubtedly be a lot of people arriving for the hearing, enough so that there is reported to be an overflow room booked for the press. This is not a very good time to be doing this because COVID-19 is surging in the City, particularly in Brooklyn.
It makes me angry to note this. Other defendants, in other trials, have accepted remotely conducted hearings during COVID-19. I don't know why this defendant thinks she's so special, but it's entirely within character.
But paraphrasing Barbara Bouchey: I'm willing to give the Girl Scout Try and go to the courthouse and get an idea of what goes on. If there's enough room to socially distance, I'll go in. If I see there's a big crowd, then I'm erring on the side of caution and leaving things to professionals.
6AM Sept. 30 - Below are some writeups (in no particular order) written in anticipation of the sentencing hearing this morning, and also Twitter accounts by individual reporters. Be nice to reporters please.

7AM Sept. 30 - Not an update, but I just feel like sharing today's theme music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJ2itQvyBY8
8:11AM Sept. 30 - Good Morning America aired this story on the sentencing: https://twitter.com/GMA/status/1311277583762370561
8:40AM Sept. 30 - Courtroom gadfly blogger Matthew Russell Lee (dba Inner City Press), who covers many cases in the NYC federal courts, has sent Judge Garaufis a letter of protest for not allowing a dial-in number to monitor the case. While Mr. Lee is a bit eccentric, I believe he is correct on the fact that this is a really bad precedent in the pandemic.
9:05AM Sept. 30 - Checking Judge Garaufis's schedule at the EDNY website, the courtroom is also booked for a Bronfman sentencing for tomorrow, "only if it [does] not conclude on September 30, 2020." Perhaps there is an expectation of long proceedings today.
9:22AM Sept. 30 - I'm at the EDNY court complex. The press has started camping out across the street, and there's a line awaiting the opening of the day. Everyone is masked up, but I don't recognize anyone in particular. Security is present at the door with no particularly strong measures —this isn't quite the Chapo trial.
12:00PM Sept. 30 - I went in around 9:45AM. Since I saw Chakravorty (and someone who might have been Jim Del Negro) with some sort of press-gaggle/entourage, I decided to go in and reserve a seat in an overflow room; no guilt over denying them seats. I did see Barbara Bouchey and possibly Toni Natale enter shortly after I came in.
Unfortunately, after waiting around for a while, the situation with audio/visual in the overflow room was a total disaster where the camera had to have been an old surveillance cam and audio was not getting piped in. Several reporters present went to try to give them a piece of their minds and were only told that AV people were working on it. We probably missed a substantial portion of Judge Garaufis's remarks. Nobody was recognizable on camera.
So from here on out, I'm posting tweets and then writeups remote from the courthouse, until I get word that there's a press gaggle at the doors.
Apologies to everyone, this is a really hard situation for a lot of people (least of all me).
12:30PM Sept. 30 - Some stories that hit as I was at the EDNY complex:
12:50PM Sept. 30 - While we wait, I thought this was a little bit of justice: as mentioned, Clare Bronfman insisted on an in-person proceeding. Her family (including Sara) are all out of the country and wanted to show support by watching the event over the feed. Judge Garaufis has summarily denied the request.
1:14PM Sept. 30 - The sentencing hearing has taken a recess. So far, the court has heard victim-impact statements. Writeup by Giuliana Bruno https://twitter.com/GiulianaBrunoTV/status/1311353764280967169:
#ClareBronfman’s sentencing proceeding is on break until 1:45. Victim impact statements just wrapped up. All echoed that their involvement in NXIVM, funded by Bronfman, ruined their lives, and that Bronfman was a Raniere enabler.
1:22 Sept. 30 - Giuliana Bruno gives a video update: a dozen victim impact statements. Toni Natale and Barbara Bouchey have spoken. There's also been a statement by someone who has a 13 year old son with Keith Raniere. Video here: https://twitter.com/GiulianaBrunoTV/status/1311355627567034374
2:15PM Sept. 30 - Ivy Nevares, identified as a former NXIVM employee, shared her victim impact statement publicly via her website .(h/t to u/Jupitersd2017). Full text http://ivynevares.com/blog/2020/9/30/my-statement-at-clare-bronfmans-sentencing-hearing
Extract below:
Clare, after all the evidence, after countess victims whom you considered among friends—how can you remain loyal to your Vanguard? No matter how hard you try, you cannot be principled if the person you follow is a sociopath and a convicted criminal.
Your Honor, when Raniere raised Clare to power in 2009, she began using her position to exploit me through indentured servitude. As soon as Clare supplanted Nancy Salzman as NXIVM’s de facto decision maker in the executive board, Clare lowered my pay, removed what insignificant privileges the company afforded me and raised my rent—all punishments for my supposed “ethical breach” against Raniere. In truth, she punished me for disobeying him. Salzman would later tell me Clare did these things of her own volition.
2:20PM Sept. 30 - Noah Goldberg of New York Daily News filed this story with some extremely biting words for Clare Bronfman from the victim impact statements: https://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/ny-clare-bronfman-nxivm-sex-cult-keith-raniere-sentence-20200930-erflkamkqje6teovbg7bpwq44u-story.html
“In my opinion you’re a predator. You should feel shame, self loathing ... You should understand there are lives you destroyed," said Susan Dones, a former cult member who cried as she spoke.
3:22PM Sept. 30 - I'm back, outside the courthouse. Camera people have started taking positions as if expecting a conclusion (there were 3 victim impact statements, then statements by the lawyers left after the recess).
3:49PM Sept. 30 - Someone came out of the overflow room and told everyone in the camera crews that victim impact statements are concluded. Defense has given their bit as well. Judge Garaufis is now speaking.
4:05PM Sept. 30 - there's word that Clare Bronfman was immediately remanded into custody. Reporters are rushing out the courthouse. Awaiting details in a press conference if one is held.
4:08PM Sept. 30 - Someone who was inside has just come out. There is word that Bronfman got 81 months.
There is a small group of Nxians in the park near the courthouse complex talking to their own cameraman.
As u/cabassi and u/Trisolaran_arbitrage have pointed out, Nicole Hong of NY Times has confirmed: 81 months for Clare Bronfman. This is consistent with what Rob Gavin is reporting on Twitter. That sentence is 21 months above what prosecutors had requested in their final sentencing memorandum, and is 54 months above the threshold Clare Bronfman's lawyers set when she plead out.
4:20PM Sept. 30 - Acting US Attorney for Eastern District Seth DuCharme of EDNY came out briefly and didn't say much other than thanking his Assistant USA's (who were very good on this case, btw).
That was not really notable. What was notable was a whole crew of US Marshals in military-style uniform escorting the US Attorney and others back to their headquarters a block away. I suspect this is a show of force after the Make Justice Blind crew of Nxians pulled a publicity stunt at their offices. They are not taking chances these days.
4:40PM Sept. 30 - Here are some reactions and stories:
Rob Gavin / Times-Union
A number of former NXIVM members delivered victim impact statements to Senior U.S. District Judge Nicholas Garaufis. One of those women was Barbara Bouchey, a former girlfriend of Raniere's who faced years of retaliation by NXIVM after she left the group more than a decade ago.
She called Garaufis' sentence justice served: “When I heard him say 81 months, I was speechless,” Bouchey said.
Pilar Melendez / Daily Beast
However, U.S. District Judge Nicholas Garaufis believed she deserved additional time. He gave her almost seven years in prison and a $500,000 fine. Bronfman, wearing a dark face mask with a flower pattern, was taken into custody immediately.
“I am shocked, relieved and surprised—this is a meaningful win for those of us who were directly victimized by Clare Bronfman,” Ivy Nevares, a former long-time NXIVM member, told The Daily Beast. “None of us were expecting the Court to surpass the prosecution’s recommendation... At long last, justice is being served.”
Victoria Bekiempis / Vulture (on Twitter)
The overwhelming theme in these [victim-impact] statements: Bronfman weaponized her vast wealth, both by pursuing perceived enemies of the group and enabling Raniere’s behavior. “Claire, you gave millions of dollars to him,” one victim said in a video statement. Even if Bronfman didn’t know what the money went toward, the woman said: “you were and are the propellant to this unyielding fire.”
“Did you ever consider that they just wanted your money and what would have happened if you just stopped giving your money?” one woman said. “Would you be as important to them?”
One woman, who said she had a 13-year-old son with Raniere, said that he never paid child support. Because of Bronfman’s financial misconduct, this woman said, the situation “is depriving my son of proper financial support.”
Others described their continued fear of Bronfman, with one saying, “I’m always going to be looking over my shoulder.”
That's all for today. Thanks for following along!
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2020.09.28 14:35 unitedcornsofwall Hard sex cam

TW: self harm, thoughts of suicide
Just feel my mental health declining and my thoughts are all over the place.
Hate my whole life including my university degree, my appearance, my relationship and everything in between.
I feel so unhappy with every part of my life but I can't change it and i need to stick at it all to make it better for my future. However I dont see a future for myself anymore its clouded and I just see myself killing myself at a young age.
Feel super depressed about university I have no friends there and my course is now online and the online seminars make me really anxious.
I hate my relationship at the moment I found my boyfriend talking to onlyfans girls in december and now I found out he went on cam sites and downloaded hentai games during lockdown. I feel worthless and unattractive. I love him but I hate the way I feel.
My boyfriend now has mental health issues too so it is hard to support him when I cant support myself and I hold a lot of resentment for him because he doesn't know the way I feel as I have been faithful and wouldn't ever do anything behind his back.
Have body issues such as thinking I'm fat and putting on weight I'm scared to go on the scales because I've been comfort eating and binging so I'm starving myself now to make up for it. Feel ugly like nobody will ever love me including my boyfriend. Feel like he doesnt find me attractive or want to have sex with me anymore. Hate looking in the mirror knowing this is what I'm stuck with and how my body and appearance is forever. Wish I was slimmer and had bigger breasts and less acne scars. Wish I was taller and my face wasnt round like a childs.
My family doesnt know the extent of my problems and it would kill them if they knew I was suicidal and self harming again after about 3 years of sobriety.
Sorry about the mess just in a bit of a crisis and needed to spill my thoughts somewhere. Sorry if it isnt allowed
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2020.09.27 23:29 Hmack1 Hard sex cam

You are about to build a "new house" of your own. You need instructions on how to live a better life. You have not done such a good job. Time to figure out what your screwing up.
Moral Constitution, the Constitution of your autonomy.
You sign this constitution as a declaration of commitment and in solidarity with yourself.When it is ready, You need to sit down with someone else, they are there to bear witness and be your notary. I review mine every year, on the anniversary I wrote my first one. I take it to the notary if there are any changes. That is how much it means to me.
This is a promise to yourself that you will be there FOR YOU from now on. Treat it with the reverence it deserves.
Your MC need to be written down. These RULES are the foundation of your life going forward.

  1. What you want to live with.
  2. What you can live with.
  3. What you choose to live with.
  4. What you grudgingly accept.
  5. What you cannot live with.
I have a Digital journal for each. I use the encrypted Penzu .
This is a fluid document as when I started out it was very black and white and wasn't nuanced enough to cover all aspects of interacting in other people lives. The MC is meant to become a part of who you are. This is meant to give you assurance as to your decisions and choices. You will be making thoughtful, reasoned decisions based on prior written plans. No matter the situation or how emotional your reaction or painful the situation, your written MC of who you are, will come shining thru.
When dealing with an addict for example:
Your first try of: No Porn, will become:
No porn, no cam girls ....then:
No porn, no live digital sex shows on any electronic device,. then no ogling the neighbors wife and no sexual stimulation at all on any device on the property.
You see how it can get? As the SO starts to see this progression and re-writes the details of the actual Boundary Contract over and over, it starts to sink in that maybe things are not going as well as they have been led to believe...This is in almost any life situation.
Hence the Morals Contract with yourself needs to change. Now you have a decision however long it may have taken, that going forward is based on reasoning, and you can abide by. You will stop accepting lies, manipulation and gaslighting the first time they show themselves because according to your Morals Contract and where you have those behaviors placed...you will know what to do.
Back to the boundary contract with the addict. I am very hard line. I want to see action. To me an addicts words are meaningless until after the first disclosure and verified lie detector test. Until then they are just kidding in my book.
When an addict is unwilling the boundaries are simple, you get out as fast as humanly possible if you don't want to be stuck with a digisexual or a technosexual for the rest of your life. He has made his sexual choice known. This is still disputed theory, but one I subscribe to.
If the addict is willing then they will follow thru with visible action. That visible action will show in numerous ways. It is the action plan that is chosen that will help dictate the boundaries you enact. The education either of you attains will help guide the recovery plans attempted.
Such as :
Boundary: THE ADDICT THEMSELVES MUST Acquire a CSAT within such and such time.
Consequence: In my case I left until he was able to prove he had attended his first 4 sessions.
follow-up details

  1. Follow doctors orders as to how many sessions per month for best outcome, work recovery as suggested "homework" (Books, podcasts..whatever), join whatever groups are suggests and attend as prescribed.
  2. All suggested therapies , homework, and other actions are to be written by the therapist or emailed from their office for the SO to have record of.
  3. All invoices are to be CC'd to SO's email as proof of attendance.
This will of course be an on-going list as in every therapy session there will be something added. It's not like the addict has to do everything suggested, just as long as they are doing what it is that helps the healing process for them and there is daily progress.
An SO must know what's going on. It is for the families protection. Addicts lie. It's what they do until they train themselves to not lie. This takes time. It's good not to trust an addict until they have earned it the hard way. They need to climb that mountain in order to strengthen those neuro pathways. No need to verbally abuse them or treat them like shit, but healthy skepticism with a big splash of trust but verify for a few years is truly going for Long Term Sobriety and rebuilt trust that might just be real and a solid foundation for a well built house. NO guarantees, ever.
The boundary contract is not a negotiation.
It is developed on the foundation of your personal Morals Constitution as you out-lined above and the strength of the addicts recovery work.
The reality is the addict themselves should be enacting their own controls per-preemptively to garner an extra level of trust, kind of the plastic surgeon's touch to a horrific scar, but most importantly to work a successful recovery.
These are other boundaries I have seen with out the extra details, I do not agree with many but family members with disorienting PTSD can get paranoid for a while and it takes quite a bit for them to feel safe in their own skins, nevertheless their own domains again. In order to try to gain control with each slip or relapse they add more and more barriers. Over time and with regained self-confidence and most will reduce boundaries to a lower level of control.
Cameras on the entire property including private spaces.
Motion mats to wake others if the addict leaves the bed in the middle of the night.
GPS monitoring
Phone change to an old fashioned dumb phone.
Removal of all digital devices with the exception of a community centrally located computer.
No gaming devices
Monitoring app on TV
Complete change of environment i.e. change properties/change states/change countries/change careers.
No electronic devices in private spaces, bathroom for example.
On demand lie detector tests.
Yearly disclosure verified with lie detector test.
Going to a divorce attorney and threatening a costly divorce. or divorce.
Threatening to take children away.
Threatening to release information of the addiction to family/friends/employer.
No sex for a specified time frame, or no sex ever again.
Live as roommates, buddy old pals, no more romantic partners. Friends only. Or live apart in separate residences.
In-house separation.
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2020.09.27 18:11 Kindly-Quit Sex hard cam

First of all, thanks to everyone who read about my marriage being completely different than I thought it would be!
I realized I might be able to provide some insight into my experience since it’s niche within niche within niche lol.
3 things to unpack about my unusual arrangement:

  1. If you haven’t caught on by now, it’s that my wife is trans. The shock, I know. Anywho- my wife came out 3 years into our seemingly completely straight relationship- we were only boyfriend girlfriend at the time this took place. In my infinite wisdom at the time I burst into mad tears and cried for about 2 minutes before I stopped and asked myself wtf all that emotion was. It’s really overwhelming to suddenly realize your entire life is not going to be what you thought. From little things like calling their name and waking up to their scent in the morning all the way to imagining your life 30 years later with a differently gendered person than you thought- it’s not a small change. It impacts the small to the large, the daily to the large life moments- everything is not what it seems. And it goes against everything you dreamed, everything you were told about- societies expectations etc. That realization was hard on me. I didn’t and still don’t mind the whole “my partner is a different gender” thing, which is the crux of a lot of people here (and I’m sorry I can’t provide answers to that!)- the heart of mine was all the change. I’m a stagnant moldy water person rather than the rushing river my wife is. I like my coffee to my clothes to, you know, my spouses gender- to be the same every day. I have anxiety, and having a daily routine is really helpful. That all went up in flames and I was quite displeased by the idea that I would have to like, change, or whatever. I imagined getting married and my then boyfriend being in a dress and my mind was left with the record scratch you hear in cheesy movies. Boy did I wish I could turn on a different channel right about then... My partner explained that she wanted surgery on her face and on the flappy bits that I quite liked and I was, once again, baffled. I knew next to nothing about trans people and here she was dumping glitter into my brain at warp speed. I needed time to process.
My advice to you all is to take your time thinking and mulling over these things, especially in the beginning. Ask yourself if you really feel upset or are you upset by the change? Are you scared of the change? Why? What’s the reason for your reaction, whatever it may be, and dig around on that. You may find out a lot about yourself.
To make a very long story short I CAN tell you a ton changes. And I can also tell you it’s not that frightening- and I’m a scardycat. It took months to set her up with appointments to doctors, therapy, laser hair removal. Scheduling allotments takes time and waiting weeks before any progress is made. Dressing in women’s clothes took time too, first around the house, then neighborhood, then full time. Growing out hair takes a long time. All these changes are slow. They do happen, but it wasn’t like I imagined where overnight the man I loved was killed. My wife is exactly as she was before hormones and all else in mind and spirit, no one dies. The idea of what you wanted does, but the person remains being who they always were. And although I hate change, I was pleased to find that it was slow enough that I could get comfortable before the next step. She talked me through it all so I wasn’t blindsided with something new. I realized around that time that I hated change but I didn’t hate what she was changing into, and that I wanted her to be the last being I see when I die. So, like a sensible person, I put a ring on that before anyone else could. While I still am surprised by changes, I’ve gotten better at handling them. Maybe this was the universes way of trying to teach me to be a little more flexible in life....or not. F you life, I liked it when it was still!
  1. My wife is a sex worker. Hello to all the people who are, or who’s partners are, involved in that work. My wife does camming and a bit of sugar daddy stuff on the side. I’m sure most people would be repulsed by this, and I certainly had my reservations, but it makes very VERY good money and my wife works less then 15 hours a week. And she makes double what I do easily, the jerk ;) I was scared for her wellbeing but the camming is no contact, and sugar daddies are 1 at a time for a girlfriend experience and I’ve found that I quite like seeing my wife on some rich guys arm. Eat the rich honey (eyyy...euphemism 🍆!), take him for all he’s got and bring me back leftovers from your $200 a plate meal. Yes, that is the trade off. Yes, I’m a slut for food. Everyone wins. I’m not bothered like I thought I would be. I thought I would be upset and felt cheated on etc. but the reality is that it’s all transactional, there’s a lot of safety measures in place (I mean a LOT more than most people would realize) and I don’t feel it comes close to touching our relationship. She’s never been tempted to jump ship for a millionaire (and she has “dated” a few- and I do enjoy living in an expensive apartment and being wined and dined by her through their money). And honestly if she did I’d be pissed but...I mean, millionaires, amiright? But truly- It’s one relationship with strings attached. My marriage to her doesn’t touch that- she can be real with me, and be semi real with the dude who’s paying her. It’s all a large elaborate act on her end with these men. So it doesn’t bother me. Camming wise she’s untouchable to these guys, and makes great money, so it doesn’t feel like cheating at all. Anyone else have spouses in sexwork? I’m interested to see if it’s larger than I thought. I love my wife and I don’t believe the arrangement is super unusual, but those w ho find out are shocked lol.
  2. We have an open marriage. Through the sex work I realized my love for my wife is so strong that I don’t think others can touch it, and her for me. We are each one experience in a sea of 7 billion people. To limit our experiences to just us two seemed, to me, like cutting a rose from a bush just because you like it. My marriage isn’t shackling my wife, or possessive. My marriage is a commitment to hold her first and foremost in my heart, spirit, and actions. And for her to do the same to me. Fucking other people, going on dates, and getting to know others as friends with benefits don’t even come CLOSE to what my wife has with me and me with her. And should we find that there’s feelings for someone, we talk about it and close that relationship down. Most of ours are flings that we see two or three times and move on. We learn about that person, share experiences and mindsets, pick their brains on the topics they are interested in and then set them back out into the world. Think of it like a library. Each person is a book to gain knowledge and perspective from in many different ways. I want to read my wife from front to back cover. Every one else I don’t mind peeking into a chapter or two. There’s the difference. Same for her. We then discover new things about ourselves and what we like in bed, what we like as topics, and what we might jump into for hobbies and have WONDERFUL conversations about all of those. It’s like cherry picking the best from each person and bringing back a bit of it to display for your wife to go ohhhhh that’s so cool we should to XYZ! It’s brought us so much close together. Plus if you have a awkward sex experience it’s hilarious the next day to explain what went down.
So yes, I’ve got an open marriage to a transgender woman who is involved in sex work. The trade off is fancy food because I’m a simp for expensive pasta. It’s unusual. It’s so unusual I don’t see it despite hunting for it to swap stories. SO, if you are in one or two of these camps tell me about yours! Tell me what you like, what you don’t like, tell me how you feel! And if you aren’t, tell me what you find weird about my arrangement or what you couldn’t do or why! Give me perspectives! Give me interesting stories! Hand them over! :)
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2020.09.27 12:05 allieeveknox Hard sex cam

I'm not sure how much money Larissa is making but she is making way more money with her side gigs than her reality show paycheck. And at $1k-1500/episode, big yawn. It might take a few days to film an episode. In that time period, she could now be doing things for her own content sites and make more money off of them.
Let's do some Larissa math: Onlyfans at $25/month. (Onlyfans is a hard one to calculate. I have no idea how many subscribers she has? Like counts don't really provide clues except a minimum number and the majority of subs don't interact with posts. She also has PTV messages, which are messages that people have to pay to see. This is sometimes pics, vids, whatever. The subscriber can't see them unless they pay. The large majority of us OF creators make most of our money that way. She can get out right tipped. She can also sell promo spots to other creators and make a ton (like a "follow my friend, here is her info" kind of post.) She takes home 80% of what she makes on OF.)
Cameos at $100/each. (I don't know if this has always been her price but she has 277 reviews so over that number for sure. She makes 75% cut there.) (Side note: something I found interesting on her cameo bio is that she has her email listed and says contact here for a redo. I wonder if she just does a shitty job and gets complaints?)
Camsoda not 100k: When camsites hire performers, they give performers their fee, maybe $500-$1000 for a solo show. She would have obviously been offered a larger fee, because of her fame (as eye roll as that is to write, it is for real.) So maybe they gave her $10k. 20k, maybe. I seriously doubt and really guess closer to the 10k mark. She doesn't make the tokens, she just gets the rate. So that 100k that was tipped? It goes to Camsoda. That's how every camshow I've ever performed on or produced has worked. If she was to cam on the site as a regular performer, she would make the standard 50-60% (I haven't worked on that site in years but I think they were 60%, which is a higher payout than most sites at 50%.)
Youtube: she can make money here but not like the good ole days. She would also have to put up content consistently. This is harder than thirst trips on OF or 'shoot it one time and done' Cameos.
Plastic surgery at what 70k or whatever? I call bullshit. I think, like many of the Teen Mom cast, she likely got a deal for promo on her social media accounts. She has lots of those "ad" looking posts. I would be willing to bet some are comped.
*also not included but are money making opportunities she has: appearance fees (hey, show up to our club and we will pay you X amount for the night,) promo fees (hey, put this shit up on your Instagram and we will pay you X amount for that post,) selling stories to the press, next will be some sort of Larissa merch or branded product.
If she is smart, or at the very least has decent handlers, she will ride this fame out as much as possible, as quickly as possible. Can she (or Stephanie or Deavan or anyone) ride out those OF numbers when the seasons are over? Maybe, if their content is compelling enough.
And all of these sites mentioned have 1099'd her as a contractor, which means she will pay taxes on these things. She will have to carry that tax burden at a rate that I would guess is not a bracket she has ever been in before.
(Source: am an online sex worker that has done many of the things mentioned)
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2020.09.27 08:06 ForeignAtrocity Hard cam sex

As an avid user of the app myself (mostly due to it being a plattform me and my gf share memes and funny videos on), TikTok is horrible for multiple reasons.

  1. It is designed to be as addictive as possible. The silicone valley postulate of the so-called attention economy is nothing new when it comes to social media, but the Chinese developers of TikTok essentially created digital crack. The very short nature of the videos shared on the plattform will very quickly erode your attention span to fit that very length. Try getting through a few pages of Gravity's Rainbow, a movie, or even a ten minute youtube video after spending half an hour daily on TikTok for a week or two.
  2. The algorithm ruthlessly exploits anything for revenue. One would be hard-pressed to find any sort of content moderation on TikTok, as the algorithm pushes all sorts of filth to the for you page. You will frequently see underaged girls posting explicit and sexual content, posing and dancing in skimpy clothes to songs like WAP, getting thousands and thousands of views. After some research it isn't especially surprising to me that there have been multiple cases of predators using TikTok to get their urges off to minors, there's even a whole NSFW subreddit revolving around "slutty" TikToks. Now you'd think that there is atleast some remedy in that one could just report said content and use the "not interested" button, but the same user will show up on your page a week later.
  3. A majority of the content is filth. Glorifying and promoting eating disorders, mental illness, promiscuity / sexual deviance to an audience consising of easily impressionable teenagers aren't especially rare on TikTok. One should also not forget the sheer amount of people promoting sex work in some form or another. Now I don't really care about sex work as that is just the material reality for some people, but making that out to be some kind of fancy, trendy lifestyle to minors is just wrong in my eyes. And this isn't even some small subsection of the TikTok community, you'll frequently see guides on how to start an OnlyFans once you hit the age of consent, to intros to sugaring and camming getting five to seven digit views.
Now I don't live in the US, but I hope that TikTok getting banned there will lead to a slow demise of it even in Europe. TikTok isn't bad because some people post cringeworthy dance and lipsync videos, but because it represents the worst of the worst of contemporary social media plattform.
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2020.09.26 21:51 Alloftheregrets007 Cam sex hard

I’ve been with my bf for two years. Very early on he told me that he used to do live cam shows for men. I asked if he was done, he said he was, and as far as I know he has been. This would be fine independently, if we had a “normal” sex life or more open communication about the fact that our sex life is weird.
I have asked, jokingly, lots of times what kinds of things he would do and he always said he just talked to lonely men, being a friendly face and never once did anything overtly sexual. This follows because he has been basically asexual and impossible to excite since I met him. He makes all the moves or he is uncomfy, we have the most basic sex possible, he’s done, we are done, when it happens.
When I have asked about his aversions, he tells me that he was molested when he was a kid by a babysitter and that he was made to feel a lot of guilt around this so I do my best not to complain too much and to be supportive. The convos don’t last long and I always feel like something hasn’t been said on his end. Things don’t quite add up all the way and I am a very sexual and suspicious person this is so friggin hard.
My job is completely work from home and he works long hours six days a week so I’m home alone a lot and my mind starts going crazy wondering what he’s hiding. A few days ago I snuck into his old laptop and found videos from his shows. He has stopped, but now I have his pseudonym and the ability to get into his discord account to see the chat rooms with these people. He is such a prude with me but I have now seen him pleasing himself for strangers for a several month period. To be clear, he was just a friendly face for the men in the discord group that he created,but he absolutely was butt naked and doing things he would be horrified to do in front of me and the other group he’s a member of is NASTY.
I also found emails from a VERY long time ago answering craigslist ads for t for m and couples for m. All of these things are weird because how could he be sexually adventurous with these strangers but isn’t comfortable being the least bit adventurous with me?
I feel terrible for looking, I regret it because I know I can’t bring it to him because he values his privacy above all else. I regret it because now I know that if you know his handle you can find him and me pretty easily but I can’t tell him that I don’t like that. I regret it because I’m pretty sure he would be more comfortable in a relationship with a man, except he has problems with his butthole that he “doesn’t know the reason for” so it might be harder to have a relationship with a man. I regret it because I know that he was hard up for money and this helped him make ends meet.
I don’t know what to do. I love him. I feel tremendous guilt and honestly, I know I can’t keep this hidden for long because I have NO impulse control. I’m not mad at anything except the dishonesty, like most everyone else, I’ve been cheated on and lied to too many times and this really hurts my level of trust for him. I know that I have also broken his trust by snooping.
I hope posting this makes me feel less bad.
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