BEN: 'I Stayed Drunk on Web Porn' Computers made my career and computers ruined my life. Computers fed my addiction to hard work, creative planning and hard-core pornography. My story began as the classic African-American success story. My parents are government workers who saved up for my college education. My wife is a schoolteacher. The Life of a Porn Addict Gabe Dawg. Loading... Unsubscribe from Gabe Dawg? ... Joe Rogan on Porn Addiction - Duration: 17:04. JRE Clips Recommended for you. 17:04. With porn addiction, you spend an inordinate amount of time watching porn instead of interacting with others or completing important tasks. The behavior persists even if it harms your career, relationships, or state of well-being. Eventually, my sex addiction cost me both my family and my church family. The weight of my shame became unbearable, and I wanted to die. My story followed the typical progression of addiction to pornography: early exposure, addiction, escalation, desensitization and acting out sexually. True intimacy. You can’t heal what you hide. Porn addiction. It’s just as real as any other addiction, but we don’t talk about it. In fact, before I dated Caleb, I didn’t really understand that it existed. Now, I’m not here to talk about addiction itself, but rather about the struggles one may face in a relationship with a porn addict. Like a substance abuse addict, you crave watching porn while doing other activities or working. You wouldn’t be the only person doing so, “70 percent of all online porn access occurs during the nine-to-five workday. Pornography use is a widespread means of dealing with one's sexual drives. More than 90 percent of young men report watching porn videos with some regularity, particularly in the United States. A Binge Day in the Life of a Porn-Obsessed 20-Year-Old. By KC July 17, 2017 February 20th, 2020 No Comments. 4.6K shares; This article was originally posted on Thought Catalog. I am a porn addict. It’s not always like this, but there are days when I wake up and I just don’t want to deal with anything. Instead, I decide that the day will be ...
2020.09.29 11:34 math_folder A day in the life of a porn addict
The sun rises over a clear blue sky, marking the beginning of a beautiful Saturday morning. Six hours later, I wake up in my room with terrible breath and a bit of a headache. The images of last night are still fresh in my memory. My group of friends met this nice group of girls at the club, and one of my friends hit it off with one of the girls. Me, I did not even try, as usual. Always too shy. Too scared to face rejection and too insecure to picture any other outcome. The memory of the night leaves me horny and feeling bad about myself: a perfect combination for watching porn.
It’s 4:25 pm when my parents leave the house.
I crawl to my desk from the couch and turn the computer on. I leave the door of my room ajar so that I can hear my parents when they come back. I open the browser on incognito mode. My own party is about to start.
My routine starts with a first round of well-known porn websites. I type the name of the first one into the address bar, hit enter, and before the page loads I open a new tab and type in a second one. In this first round, I open a total of seven sites, specifically sites from large porn producers (the type to create their own scenes for their paying members). I focus on the large ones because they are the ones most likely to have new videos available since the last time I did this five days ago. I’m shown seven warning pop-ups asking me if I’m 18 or older. I am, so I click on that big green ENTER button. Not that any of it matters, I’ve been clicking on that button for years now and I’m only 19.
I navigate to the New Videos section in each of these sites and proceed to open the previews for all the videos that look interesting in new tabs. Once I’m done, there are twenty-two tabs open in my browser. As I watch the previews, I close the ones that I don’t like and leave the rest, ending up with eight open tabs. I google the name of these eight videos with the following results: four of them I find uploaded to tube sites, one I find a direct download link for, and three are left to be downloaded via torrent. I start all the downloads and turn my attention to the videos on the tube sites.
The first one does not look very good, so I skip through it quickly searching for the different sex positions, checking to see if there is any moment that is worth something. I find none, but one of the related videos suggested by the tube site looks promising so I open it in a new tab. I move to one of the other videos that I found originally, and while the video is overall a bit lame there is a part of it that I really enjoy. As I re-watch those few seconds a couple of times, I conclude that the moment is worth keeping so I leave the tab for that video open. On top of that, I spot three related videos that look great and open them in new tabs. The third video I initially opened is no good, but the tube site does not look familiar so I decide to navigate to the homepage to see what kind of videos are trending in it, opening four of them in the process. The fourth video I originally found is good: it stays open and reveals two more exciting related videos. After this round, I’m left with ten new videos for a total of twelve open tabs.
It’s time for round two, as I watch each one of those ten new videos opening multiple related videos for each one I close, like a huge pornographic hydra. Some related videos take me to new tube sites, where I explore homepages and specific categories. As I finish a video and close its tab, bringing me down to nineteen open tabs, I notice that one of the torrents has finished downloading. I open it eagerly, but the video is disappointing. I skim through it quickly before turning back to my browser, where I have time to watch two more short videos before the next torrent download completes. This one is pretty good, and I can tell from the first few minutes. I go back to the beginning of the video and watch it without barely skipping anything, building the anticipation of what I know are going to be great sex scenes, and rejoicing in them when they come. I watch a 35min video in about 30min, going back to revisit some of the best parts. It was a great find: I leave the video in my file system and open the browser again.
As I’m watching a casting girl being fucked from behind by a creepy Czech guy on a greasy leather couch, I hear my parents come back home.
I look at the time on my computer: it’s 8:45 pm. Fifteen tabs are open as I minimize the browser and take my left hand out of my pants. It has not stopped stroking my dick since I first opened that browser.
As I begin to lose my erection, I feel the need to pee. I leave my room and, on my way to the bathroom, I cross paths with my mom. She tells me they brought dinner. I wash my hands and join them in the living room. Porn images keep flashing in the background of my brain as I watch the evening news, eating pizza while sitting next to my dad. All I can think about are those fifteen videos that I left open. There are two of them in particular that have the potential to be amazing videos. I can almost feel them pulling me towards that sweaty desk chair back in my room. I finish my dinner as soon as I can and brush my teeth. It’s 9:35 pm when I sit back down on that chair.
This time, I close the door of my room completely. I’m wearing only my right earphone, leaving my other ear unblocked so that I can hear my parents when they approach my room. For the rest of the night until they go to sleep, I must stay alert, ready to minimize the browser and let my dick loose as soon as I hear them walk the aisle towards or past my room. It wouldn’t be the first time they walk in unexpectedly, since they rarely knock on the door.
I’m back to my precious videos and the tabs that I left open. As I watch them, I continue the cycle of related videos and sites. Sometimes I find a video that belongs to one of the not-so-well-known networks that I haven’t checked out in a while, so I navigate to their sites to preview their content and google for some of their videos, reaching new tube sites and downloading a couple of extra torrents. However, after a while, the stream of tube videos starts to run out. At this point, the related content has come full circle and the new sites I find are mostly full of shitty low-quality amateur closeup videos.
I check the time and it’s 11:08 pm. I have found some great videos but I feel like I can do better, and I have the energy to keep going for a little while until I go to sleep. I decide to turn my attention back to the big networks and start going through their older videos to try to find some hidden gems. However, these videos are hard to download as all the links are broken and the torrents have long been abandoned. The only way to get to them is to try to sneak into one of these network sites.
The process is tedious. I try a bunch of websites offering shady text files with a list of stolen usernames and passwords, protected by infinite layers of ad-crowded captchas. Navigate to the porn site, Ctrl-C the username, Ctrl-V into the login form, Ctrl-C the password, making sure I don’t copy the trailing whitespace, Ctrl-V into the login box, hit the button, cross your fingers… user blocked! Try your luck with the next username! Every time I hit that login button I feel like a gambling addict pulling down the lever on a slot machine. Until finally… I hit the jackpot!
After much trial and error and only being able to break into one or two shitty websites with terrible content, I find the key to one of the great, big network sites. I dive head-first into their catalog, which goes back to 2006. I know all the newest videos, but I also know most of the oldest ones from the times when I managed to log in to this same website in the past. So I edit the URL to navigate to page 150 out 260, where I calculate I have more chances to find videos that are new to me. The site is a gold mine, but I don’t know if this user will keep me logged in for long and it is getting late anyway, so I quickly browse a few pages of videos and download just eight of them before closing the site. I figure this will be the last bunch I’ll do today.
At this point my parents are sleeping, so I can safely wear my headphones and pay full attention to the videos. Some of these last few videos are pretty good and I end up watching a big chunk of each of them. As I wrap up this final round, I glance nervously at the clock to see it’s 3:12 am.
By now, my dick has been mostly soft for the past few videos, only getting hard at the very best moments. It is time for one last effort to collect the rewards of a day’s worth of searching. I open my browser again and rewatch all those videos that I had selected and kept open in tabs, along with some of the best ones that I downloaded into my hard drive. I rewatch some of their best moments over and over, until I finally pick that one special moment in that one special video that I want to jerk off too. It has to be special if it needs to get my dick up in its current state. But it does, and my penis raises one last time, like a boxer that was ready to throw in the towel but is forced by his coach to fight one last round. And it wins. Or loses. I don’t know, but the fight is over.
After I’m done and cleaned up, I close all the tabs in the browser and delete all the downloaded videos. I go to the bathroom to wash my hands and I look at myself in the mirror. I’m sweaty, my face is red and my eyes bloodshot. I go back to my room and straight into bed.
It’s 3:56 am.
I feel extremely weak. My dick is numb. I close my eyes and the images of the videos keep scrolling on the back of my eyelids. My ears are ringing a little bit. My heart is still beating strong. I hate myself and what I’ve done, but not for long: I soon give up to exhaustion and fall asleep.
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2020.09.18 16:42 HaulA18Sepl Best hidden sex tube
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2020.09.18 02:30 Throwaway20200917 Addict ex. I need to get this out.
I am struggling mentally with what has happened to me over the last couple years. My relationship with my boyfriend of 6 years had started deteriorating and I figured it was me. I worked away from home often in the summers. When I was at home he would be up all night and pass out on the couch instead of coming to bed. He was very secretive and always on his devices. He hadn’t been hanging around his friends. I thought he was struggling with depression and encouraged him to talk to me. He came home with me for Christmas 2018 to visit with my family and would leave because he claimed to have IBS and didn’t feel comfortable using the washroom at their place. The day before we went home he wouldn’t get out of bed because he said he was depressed and on the way home he had a complete meltdown when the check engine light came on in his truck. This wasn’t the first meltdown. He tended to have them every few months and it was hard for him to sit down, calm down and rationalize the issue. I thought he just had stress issues. I told him to speak to a therapist so he could deal with these issues. He never did. His best friend struggled with addiction and he always talked about how pathetic he was because he wasn’t going to work and had a shitty girlfriend. His friend started online gambling and my ex would talk about how stupid he was because he never had money. They worked together and he wanted a new job because he thought his friend made him look bad. He stayed up all night and struggled getting up for work in the mornings. In his head, the grass was always greener on the other side until he was there. Anything I was happy about he didn’t want to hear because it made him feel shitty so I kept most things to myself. April of 2019 he had a complete meltdown. He admitted that he had an online gambling addiction. He had lost all of his savings and had taken out credit cards to pay off debts and maxed them out. He ruined his credit and was about to lose the house. I offered to take out a line of credit to help him because the interest rate would be lower and it would be easier to pay off. He agreed and I paid off $17,000 in credit card debt. A few weeks later I was cleaning the house while he was gone. He spent a lot of time in the downstairs bathroom because of his “IBS.” The bathroom fan was often unplugged which I thought was odd. He said it was because it was loud. I don’t know why I started snooping around in there. I guess I was suspicious. I looked in the roof and found a whole stash of empty drug bags, full drug bags, candles, aluminum foil, pipes, broken glass, plastic tubing etc. I don’t know why I hadn’t figured it out before. The signs were all there. I had found a meth pipe in the bathroom before and he said it was his friends who wanted him to throw it out. He talked about how much of a loser he was. What a fucking hypocrite. I waited for him to get home and confronted him. He was unapologetic. Tried to blame it on me for being gone for work and because we didn’t have enough sex. He said it made masturbating feel better. I was humiliated and only told my sister. He told me he had been using for a year, I believe it was probably longer. I felt betrayed. How could he lie to me for so long. How could I trust him. He owed me so much money from the gambling and I hadn’t saved anything so had no where to go. I stayed under the condition that he quit and payed me back. I told him the only way I would trust him is if he drug tested him when I asked. I bought some at home kits. I told him if he started using again I would leave and take the dogs. From that day on I started aggressively saving in case I had to leave. My mental health took a turn for the worse after this. I would cry in the truck every day at work (I drove my own truck and would drive up to 6 hours a day). I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and talked to a doctor. They put me on antidepressants which helped out immensely. I finally had some clarity and was able to focus again at work. I came home from work one day and noticed him acting off. I asked him to do a drug test. It came out positive for meth. He denied using. Said the test was just cheap and wrong. I knew he was lying. I saw the signs and not much had changed since I found out the first time. I found a torch hidden under the bed in the spare room. Drug bags hidden around. I knew I had to get away and accepted a job out of town. Initially I was away once a week but the expectation would be that I would move there. On one of my days out of town I came home and found him passed out on the couch with his phone on a gambling site. He owed me so much still and had the audacity to continue gambling. I confronted him about this and that I knew he was still using. I told him I wanted my money back. We broke up. I continued to live there until I found a place to move to. He went off the rails. Ripped apart the house, didn’t clean up after himself, started jobs and never finished them. Not that this was new, just more obvious that it was fueled by the addiction. I felt unsafe. I knew I needed to leave. He told me to get my hunting rifles out of the house because he was afraid of what he would do with them. This really scared me. I considered calling the cops but had no where to go. He eventually lost his job and took a temporary job out of town. During this time I moved out and took the dogs. Life has been good until about a week ago when he started harassing me and threatening to take me to court for the dogs. I have so much stress and anxiety about it. I need him to leave me alone. I have been put through so much the last couple years. I haven’t responded to him and have a meeting with a lawyer lined up to discuss my rights if he does take me to court and if he even has a case. My dogs are the only thing helping me keep it together right now. I know I need some form of therapy but I just don’t know where to start. Sorry for the rant. Just needed to get it out. There is so much more but it would be a novel if I typed it all.
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2020.09.17 20:23 spacepatrolluluco I believe Netflix started it's own smear campaign over the film "Cuties" and everyone played into it
The sudden interest spanning across the entire internet against pedophilia is an incredibly admirable one. However, it's worth mentioning that the sexual exploitation of minors is barely new and is hardly secretive. I'm not talking about coded language and hidden meetings either. If anything, the media makes MORE money off of people being outraged by pedophilia than they do exploiting children as a stand-alone.
My theory is based off of this information, if you want to get to the theory itself, go down to the bold.
In 2009, Toddlers in Tiara's hit TLC. The outrage was immediately. Major media outlets brought in child psychologists to condemn what was shown on Toddler's in Tiaras. However, it went on for 7 seasons. You can make the argument that T&T was scripted, but that makes it worse. That knowledge implies that a story about a child being mistreated, exploited and sexualized is one that will sell.
You can make the argument that TLC wasn't funding convicted offenders or anything... oh wait. You can't. Honey Boo Boo's mother was caught out with two convicted sex offenders over time. The father to two of her children and also the man who molested her oldest daughter at eight. Despite this, TLC is still pushing T&T spin-offs. I wonder why? (I won't even get into 19 Kids and Counting.)
In 2010 a video went viral of a children's dance competition, where the 8(ish) year old girls performed a dance to "Single Ladies" in very revealing costumes. (I'd rather you didn't look up the video, but you can read about it here.) Outrage. Made national headlines. Was covered by news outlets. It was made very clear by the media that this is VERY controversial.
I'll always remember a quote from the parents. "This is taken completely out of context," Cory Miller, father of one of the girls, told "Good Morning America" today. "The girls weren't meant to be viewed by millions of people."
It doesn't mean I approve that the dance took place, but it did make me realize" "Oh. By trying to spread the word about sexualizing children, everyone put it on everyone's social media timelines instead. By trying to protect these children, everyone just made their dance seen by all of America instead of a small dance competition."
Which is funny, because Dance Moms debuted only two years later. Again, I won't link any of the dances or costumes that gained notoriety and controversy for their sexualization. But the title "Topless Showgirls" for one of the dances should be enough to convince you this programming was both bad, and exploited children sexually for controversy. Many of the children have come out saying that there was general abuse on the show and at the studio.
Again, total outrage by the World Wide Web. Disgust all around. It lasted for eight seasons. The show also turned some of the girls into A list celebrities.
Have you cancelled your Netflix subscription because they condone pedophiles? Makes sense. However in 2013, it hosted the documentary "Are All Men Pedophiles? a documentary that advocated it was unfair to expect men to refrain from acting on their attraction to teenagers. It tries to make the case that there's a difference between pedophilia and attraction to people under 18. I haven't watched the whole film, because it's gross, but you can find the whole doc on YouTube. Again, not recommending anything.
Now, we're on to Cuties.
You've all heard the argument that Maïmouna Doucouré wrote the story to critique a culture that sexualizes children, as a feminist 2017 piece. That she worked with a child psychologist during filming. I'm not here to convince you whether it is or isn't a strong message. However, it's curious that Netflix chose to pick up this title instead of making their own.
America is more than comfortable with existing content that sexualizes children. You can make a case against Toddlers & Tiaras, Dance Moms, Thirteen, Little Miss Sunshine, Leon, Pretty Baby, Taxi Driver, etc. (Am I calling out all of these films? Not quite. This is a controversy sub not a film sub. I want to be unbiased. But you can make the case that they have their problems.)
Netflix had already announced the aquisition of "Cuties" on July 20th. However, twerking/dancing/the actresses weren't mentioned at all.
"We're excited to announce that CUTIES (MIGNONNES), from writer-director Maïmouna Doucouré — who won the World Cinema Dramatic Jury Award for Directing at this year's Sundance Film Festival. — will debut on Netflix 9 September"
Then August 20th rolls around. There's a new poster for Netflix, depicting the main actresses in sexualized clothing and poses. No real mention of the film's Sundance success. The poster is indistinguishable from something out of Dance Moms or Toddlers & Tiaras. Netflix is pushing the twerking angle instead.
Between July 20th and August 20th, #SaveOurChildren and similarly themed activism has started trending on every single social media platform. Surely Netflix knew about this, surely they knew to be more sensitive and aware of the sexualization of children in media?
Even after the movie was trending BEFORE it's release, wouldn't it make sense for Netflix to consider at least toning down some of the scenes with sexual content for it's streaming debut?
No, they knew exactly what we would do. The moment "Cuties" was live on the streaming platform, people disgusted by the movie immediately took stills and clips from the film and put them everywhere. Everyone raced to watch the movie and critique the uncomfortable scenes. It was talked about by everyone.
I have never watched Cuties, but I have seen almost every single compromising or sexually themed shot from the movie without ever having to look them up. There are countless photos of these children's close-up butts twerking on my Twitter feed. I never even consented to viewing these images, they're just on everyone's social media pages.
In the grand scheme of things, I think Netflix knew this would happen. They knew their platform would get backlash, but more importantly to them, free publicity. If the outrage had not happened, I honestly don't think "Cuties" would have been a popular watch on Netflix. A solid 90% people I know who know about the movie know about it because of the outrage.
I think Netflix planted the outrage themselves in an effort to make headlines.
Ultimately, despite everyone's best intentions against fighting child sex exploitation, the end result was thousands of people sharing photos and videos of four eleven year olds in promiscuous outfits twerking. Yes, people are aware of the film "Cuties" now and the offensive cinematography, but we can't ignore how what ended up happening was millions of people have now (hopefully unintentionally) ogled a group of 11 year olds.
Netflix knows what they did.
The only question is, what should we do to actively prevent it from happening next time?
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2020.09.17 01:41 TheEggplantEconomist Best hidden sex tube
Joel struggled to find the right words.
He’d written so much so often lately that it had become difficult not to describe his thoughts but to piece together sentences that differentiated them from one another.
“Incompetent,” he typed, then paused.
No, scratch that, he thought. Delete, delete, delete.
“Negligent,” came out through the flurry of clicks.
Too easy to rebut, he thought.
“Malignant and diseased,” he typed as a sneer crossed his face and tears spilled over his lip and into his mouth.
He’d found the perfect words with the perfect weight.
He hit the enter key and felt a wave of exhilaration that made his face flush.
Just two months and more than a hundred thousand words ago, Joel decided he’d had enough of his mother, his boss and what felt like a million others walking across his back each day. Any man with an ounce of pride would never have taken the abuse so long, which meant there was no reason to take it a day longer, Joel thought as he stared at his paunchy reflection in a mirror spotted with flecks of toothpaste.
“I will build my own empire. Today,” he whispered through gritted teeth then wiped away the evidence of his sobbing and put in eye drops hoping to avoid tipping off his mother that he’d been crying again.
But the groundbreaking had to wait. Eight or nine hours, at least. Mr. Figginbottom promised Joel he’d be fired if he called out again and Joel was sure the octogenarian wasn’t lying this time. His boss’s 50-something nephew had recently moved back to town, surely after being kicked out of his own mother’s house after yet another failed stint at a rehab, and Mr. Figginbottom was looking for any excuse to give away Joel’s gig. And while no man ever became rich selling pool supplies for a man who couldn’t even become rich owning a small chain of pool supply stores, Joel needed at least one more paycheck to cover his own startup expenses.
The windfall came sooner than expected, though. Joel had barely clocked in when the phone at the front desk rang. INTERNAL, it said.
“Checkout, this is Joel,” he answered.
“Joel, this is Figs. Can you come back and see Linda in my office?”
“It’s a little busy up here, actually. There’s a woman who was asking Roger for help with chlorine tablets and as soon as she asked, two more people walked in …”
“Joel, I want to make clear that I wasn’t asking a question, I was giving an order,” the man on the line said.
A long silence took hold before Mr. Figginbottom tired of waiting.
“Joel, I said …”
“Yessir, be right back,” Joel said and slammed down the receiver.
Joel was surprised to see Mr. Figginbottom in the office.
“I thought Linda was supposed to be here,” Joel said from the doorway, still holding the knob.
“She’s right there,” Mr. Figginbottom said, pointing to a blonde woman holding a clipboard sitting on the small sofa hidden behind the door.
“Hi, Joel,” she said warmly as she leaned into view.
“Son, sit down,” Mr. Figginbottom said.
Joel had no idea what this could be about but he wondered if it wasn’t his opportunity to preemptively quit. To tell Mr. Figginbottom this was the worst job he had ever had working for the biggest idiot he had ever met who owned the worst company in the world.
“Joel, we saw the tape,” Mr. Figginbottom said. “I’ll be honest, I’m half tempted to beat you myself first but Linda here says that’s not going to look good for my insurance rates, so I’m just going to tell you to get out of here right now.”
Joel was stuck on the part about the tape when he realized there was more to process.
“Joel, actually, there are some papers we have to go over,” Linda said as she began pulling some documents from beneath the clipboard’s hinge. Mr. Figginbottom cocked his head, a little perturbed the office manager’s politeness had sucked the vinegar out of the rant he was building up to.
“Wait, what tape?” Joel asked.
Mr. Figginbottom looked at Linda, who turned back to Joel and opened her mouth to speak before being cut off.
“Joel, there’s a security camera in the back of the building,” Mr. Figginbottom said as he leaned across the desk, face reddening as the position pulled his shirt taught and made the rolls of fat hang out over his collar more than usual. “We started getting complaints from the closer that someone was blowing mud behind the dumpster. We looked at the camera, and by God, if that wasn’t you, Joel.”
That much was true. Joel had always hated going to the bathroom at work. Or rather, he hated going to the bathroom in the bathroom at work. It was a single-stall, unisex bathroom the employees shared with customers. It was usually clean enough — Joel often had to take care of that himself — but it was a cacophonous tile room that sent reverberations of even the gentlest tinkle throughout the store. There was a smaller but better-insulated facility in the back room but that was reserved solely for Mr. Figginbottom, who had “the I.B. syndrome,” as he’d often say unburdened with the shame Joel carried for such talk. The way Joel saw it, he had no other choice but to go behind the dumpster.
“Son, are you even listening?” Mr. Figginbottom asked as he pulled a handkerchief from the pocket of his plaid western shirt and wiped the beading sweat off his bald head.
Mr. Figginbottom leaned back in the chair again and swallowed hard, covering his mouth.
“I’m nauseous right now thinking about that video, you …”
“Fig,” Linda interrupted, “we talked about the paperwork for Joel? Remember the paperwork?”
The rest was a bit of a blur. Crying now for the second time in an hour, Joel nodded along as Linda told him about how he could sign up for COBRA Health Insurance and how he’d have 10 days to return all three of his work shirts, properly washed and pressed, please.
“And you’ve accrued 32 vacation hours that we’ll be paying you out for today along with the rest of your scheduled hours for this week,” Linda said as she handed him a check in exchange for the clipboard full of documents he’d been signing.
It was 9:25 a.m. Monday and Joel held $388 in his hands. The tears started to dry as he realized this was his seed money. Mr. Figginbottom had inadvertently become an angel investor.
Thirty minutes later, Joel was a new man. He paid his mother $300 for two months’ rent in advance and he was a free man for the next 60 days. Nothing could get in the way of his empire now.
First, though, Joel needed to get something off his chest. He pulled out his laptop and signed in to a Facebook account under the name Colby Stimpson, a chiseled man with perfect hair whose stock photos Joel stole for an account he used to stalk all the girls he knew a decade ago high school who wouldn’t accept a friend request from his real account.
“If I could give Fig’s Pools no stars, I would,” Joel typed into the review field as Colby Stimpson. “It is run by a fat and old man who loves having power over everyone for no reason other than he has the IB syndrome … aka DIHARREA! He also loves his employee Linda so much he has sex with her at work without his wife. I suggest you try a different pool company that cares for its customers because this is a no star place with an owner who could drop dead and anyone could care less!”
Joel slept as well as he had in months that night and awoke at 2 p.m. thanks to the blackout curtains he bought the afternoon before. It was an investment in himself, he thought as he watched his newfound nest egg dip to about $50.
He rolled over and picked up his phone to open /hentai but saw a stack of text message alerts on his lock screen, all from Roger at the pool store.
“Can’t believe it. So crazy!” the latest message read. “I guess it happened last night when he got home,” another read as the story unraveled in reverse as Joel scrolled to the top of the text chain.
“Figs is DEAD!” the first message said.
“LOL,” Joel replied, following up with a laughing emoji.
The next few days were a mix of emotions for Joel. He had intended to spend them building an empire of some kind — maybe an app company or a place that sold graphic novels and adult novelties, he thought — but instead found himself watching anime and wondering whether it was right to feel so vindicated by Mr. Figginbottom’s death. Confused by his own emotions, he left the house for the first time since being fired and walked the two blocks to the Stop-N-Shop.
He filled up the handbasket with a dozen Little Debbie snack cakes and as many Rockstar energy drinks before throwing a one-pound back of pretzels on top of it all.
“Forty-six eighty-eight,” the man at the counter said after scanning it all.
It seemed like a lot of money for groceries but it was enough to let Joel avoid leaving the house again for a least three or four days.
The card reader let out a flat honk. “Declined,” the man behind the counter said.
“Let me try it again,” Joel said.
“Do you have another way to pay?” the man asked Joel.
“No, but there’s at least $50 in the account,” he said.
“It’s declined. Do you have cash?”
“No, but there’s money in there.”
“Then you’ll have to go to the bank to get your cash out,” the man said, pulling the handbasket across the counter to his side.
“If there was negative stars this place would get them all,” Colby Stimpson’s review read. “They won’t do business with their best shoppers and it means they will LOOSE THEM ALL! Bad customer service = never shopping there again because of the experience. Totally negligent and discrimination from the clarks with no respect. I wouldn’t give a rip if this place burned down tomorrow. Shop at a better place who cares about customers such as Murphy’s.”
Joel’s hunger strike didn’t last long. He woke up the next morning with an empty stomach and a headache so bad he winced. He needed sugar and caffeine. He put on his Crocs, pulled $5 in quarters from the old coffee tin his mother used to collect coins and started his trek to the Stop-N-Shop. He had barely turned the first corner when he saw the black smoke rising from the other side of the strip mall. He picked up his pace excited at the prospect of seeing something burning down and turned the last corner wheezing from the brisk walk to find a few beams and a row of gas pumps covered in ash where the Stop-N-Shop was a day earlier.
The fire must have started hours ago because only one fire truck remained and its sirens weren’t even on. How the sound didn’t wake him up just two blocks away was a mystery but the store caught fire sometime during the night and there was nothing but rubble left.
Joel was dismayed by his first thought. “I’ll have to walk another six blocks to the next store.”
His second thought put him in a better mood: “I did this.”
Joel spent the rest of the afternoon pacing his room taking mental note of everyone and every company that had ever wronged him, no matter how minor a slight.
“I wish there were zero stars instead of one star but it’s thanks to everyone gets a trophy in this society,” read Colby Stimpson’s screed on the Old Navy Facebook page. “The employees at this particular location are very judgemental and have no interest in finding what is the truth from lying customers. They have a changing room that is just a curtain and if you are man and are shopping there and have to try on clothes you can’t knock on a curtain. And when you open it and there’s a girl in there the employees at this location will say the cops are coming even though you followed all their own rules. I hope they all get laid off for being INCOMPETENT!”
Joel stayed up for hours on end posting in an almost fugue state. Long-forgotten memories came flooding back.
A Hormel Chili can that had some kind of root vegetable in it. “Can you say health codes? What is going on in that factory?”
A grocery store that was always out of his favorite pasta sauce. “Disappointing to say the least. This store needs to be shut down ASTAT!”
A Target whose manager once refused to let him return a package of briefs that were too small. “This store is a scam! How would you even know if they fit if you can’t try them on but then you can’t return them once you put them on? The BBB needs to investigate this illegitimate business.”
In the weeks that followed came a reign of terror. Inspectors shut down canneries for unsanitary conditions. Shopping malls closed, taking out all of their tenants at once. Stock prices dropped and stores were closed after bad earnings calls.
From his fingertips to God’s ears.
As time went on, Joel realized it was easier than he first realized. He hardly had to mention a slight or even why he was offering a one-star rating. Just posting an inane comment in the reviews was enough to cause some damage.
“This hammer looks weak and dumb. One star crap,” Colby Stimpson’s review read. A week later, a pallet of ball-peen hammers crushed a warehouse worker at an Amazon fulfillment center 1,200 miles away.
The allure of this new power kept Joel so occupied that he rarely left his room. He barely had time to eat between screeds and he had lost almost 20 pounds in a month. He had only seen his mother twice in that time, so he hadn’t noticed she, too, was quickly losing weight until she collapsed in the shower.
Joel’s fingers tapped on his knees, as much a nervous tick as a habit now as he sat next to his mother’s hospital bed. There were machines and tubes keeping her stable but the doctor warned him they were a temporary fix at best. Days, maybe hours, were all she had left.
Joel awoke the next morning to a nurse sitting next to him in the waiting room her a hand on his arm.
“Are you Mr. J. Porter? Annie’s son?” she asked as Joel sat up and nodded. “I’m sorry, sir, but your mother has passed.”
Joel spent the next two hours walking home to clear his mind and subconsciously avoiding his destination by taking the long way through a park. He sat at a picnic table for a moment and felt the tears cut chilly trails down his face in the crisp fall air. Phone in hand, he opened Facebook and searched for the hospital’s page.
“I wish I could surgically remove stars from the ratings because the doctors and employees here are MALIGNANT AND DISEASED and all their tools look more like they are from 1819 not 2019,” read Colby Stimpson’s review. “This place is so filthy I would not be surprised if they cause a new plague.”
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