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2020.09.08 20:20 Dcockit Anal sex internal camera

Hey, I don't know where else this might go as a post. It is more of a confession or just me writing down my situation and thoughts. Sort of telling my story as it is currently. *Warning* this is super long.
When I was about 11 or 12 I started getting feelings sometimes for men. I grew up in a strict Christian house and "knew" that it was wrong for me to feel these feelings. So I would tell myself to push them away and they would go away. And everything would be right with my world again....for a little while then one day I would all of a sudden feel this type of way again. So then I would explore it a little bit more in fantasies and stuff. Around this time is when I first tried on my mom's underwear and found out that I loved that. So I have gone through this cycle of pushing away these feelings that I "knew" were wrong and they would be gone for a while and then a dream or something would bring them right back.
In the beginning, they would just be small feelings and then they would be easy to push away after a few days. Then they would be gone for a long time before they came back. Then as the years went on when they came back I would explore them just slightly more each time and they would stay longer and they would be harder to get rid of. In the middle of this cycle, I am in high school with this guy that comes out as gay. So a little while later I end up having this super-steamy dream about this guy and totally realize I am kind of into him. I can't ever let myself believe this so I start this internal denial campaign and tell myself that I am for sure not gay and realize the only logical course of action (*roll eyes*) is to go completely the other way with it and be a homophobe. I wasn't very nice to him and I do regret it. Several years ago we connected and I apologized for being that way. IDK if my apology was good or not. I apologized in a time where I was trying to push my feelings away and they were coming back slightly.
So I believe it was within days after that I decided I would go to the adult store and I was going to actually buy porn that I actually liked so I go there late in the evening when my roommate at the time isn't home. I go in and go straight to gay porn. There are a few that catch my eye and low and behold I walk up to the counter with bisexual mmf type porn. I couldn't even buy the gay porn. I get home and I am watching it that night and the next day I am watching it thinking, "You know what would be hotter? If this didn't have women". So the next night I go back and buy one gay porn. I get it home and watch it and loving it. I had experimented before with fingering myself and I decide this is the night I really find out what this prostate is all about. The whole experience with the gay porn and fingering myself was one of the most amazing. This became a regular thing. I was in a long-distance relationship at the time and only saw my gf once in a while. This became quickly my main form of masturbation.
During this time craigslist hookups were a big thing. I first put out a couple adds with no real prospects until one. I talked to this guy that wanted me to come to his house and give him a blowjob. I told him that I was nervous to have sex and bottom but he might be able to talk me into it. I go as far as getting showered and cleaning up real good and I leave to meet this guy. I get to his house and chicken out completely. I drove back to my place sort of in a daze caught between dodging a bullet and disappointed in myself for standing him up when he thought he was getting a blowjob and was going to get to have anal sex. I told myself when I got home that I wouldn't try that again and pushed away all my desires for men.
About a week later I decided I needed a friend to go to the gym with and keep me accountable and help me get in shape. I placed an ad on Craigslist for a strictly platonic friend to work out with. I kinda forgot about the ad and went on about my day. That night I talk to my girlfriend and she was in a particularly bad mood and we fought a bit and when I got off the phone with her my roommate was in bed. I decided to get on my computer and the next thing I know I found myself into my usual gay porn spots. Then I opened my email to respond to a guys ad on Craigslist. There was a response from my ad that I posted earlier so I decided to look at it. I read it and it isn't platonic at all. This is a guy offering me a quick blowjob if I go meet him. No strings attached or anything just a quick blowjob. I was reluctant at first and send him an email saying my post was for a platonic friend and nothing like that and he just told me how if I don't like it then he will stop and no harm no foul. Then all of a sudden things clicked and I told him I would like to meet. We met at a local spot and he got in my car and I drove to find a secluded spot and he thought it looked ok so I went ahead and took my pants off and he leaned over and started sucking me. It was fine and he was good but I was more in awe that it was a guy.
After a little bit I came and he opened the door and spit. I was pretty offended that he spit which I shouldn't have been. He commented on how quick it was and I told him that I hadn't had any in a while. Truthfully it hadn't been too long. I more got off on the idea that it was a guy than the actual blowjob. Afterward, he told me he liked my dick and I took him back to his car and we went out separate ways again. On my drive home I started to regret what I had just done. The next weeks I just thought a lot about, "Why would I do that?" and "I can't believe I would have a guy suck my dick".
I thought a lot about this and one night I am laying in bed contemplating and thinking about why I regret it and had this moment of clarity finally. I realized I didn't regret it because I did something with a guy. I realized I regretted it because I wished that if I did something with a guy it wouldn't have been that. This was the moment that it became clear that if I was going to be doing oral with a man I want to be sucking him and if I am going to have sex with a man I will be the one being penetrated. I am a bottom I realized that day.
I went a few years without giving in to any of my desires and I got married to my wife and all was good. A couple of years into our marriage I decided one day when I was home by myself that I would try on some of her cute underwear. Then her lingerie and then dresses and before I knew it I was secretly crossdressing again and Thankfully I could fit into her clothes. I slowly got into looking at and watching gay porn again and then found myself on Craigslist looking again and that all took me to get on a chatting app. There I discovered this world of guys like me that were in the closet and wanted to hook up with guys. There was everything from gay closeted bottom guys with wives/girlfriends to straight top guys that just wanted blowjobs and anal that their wives weren't giving them. I found this community fascinating and very addicting.
I told myself it was all just chatting and talk and little fun like that until one day this guy I had been chatting with for a while told me how he really wanted to fuck me. I was into him and so we went down this road and explored how we could do this. He was married too and we couldn't really meet at his house and certainly couldn't meet at mine. So he came up with a way to get past this barrier. He told me where he worked and it happened to be just a 5-minute drive from where I worked. So he told me he wanted me to just come to his work. The situation was not really conducive to a first time having gay sex or probably the first time for anal sex for anyone really. He wanted me to come to his work and it was a warehouse and he had some boxes set up where there were no cameras. We would be able to have sex there. I took a few days thinking about everything and told him I want to do it. So I went to the local gym and took a shower and told my work I was going to be at meetings. I tell him I am on the way and he tells me I have that I have to stop in the front office and tell the receptionist that I am there to receive a package and then drive around to the dock and go in and he would take me to the spot he made up and fuck me and then I would have to stop in with the receptionist to check out. I leave and come back to his work 3 times and then finally get the courage to go in and tell the receptionist I am there. I walk in and there is this really pretty young receptionist and all I can think is that she will know what I am doing somehow if I tell her I am here to "receive a package" as he told me to say. So I just tell her I am lost and looking for this other business close and she gives me directions to the other place.
Then again after that close call, I swore everything off for a while. That was until my work told me I had to travel for this seminar. I thought about everything and decided to look for an adult toy store close to where I had to stay. I realized I wanted to try anal. If I didn't like it then that would be fine and I wouldn't try with guys any more I thought. So I being too nervous emailed the store and they told me the dildos they had and set one aside for me to come in and buy. I go in and I will never forget how nervous I was and the girl took it out of the bag to make sure it was the dildo I wanted and asked me if I had lube and toy cleaner or if I was going to be needing that too and I can barely talk I am so nervous. I end up going somewhere else to buy lube like she didn't know what I was doing whether or not I bought lube from her lol.
I get back to my hotel and take my time preparing and getting clean and it comes time. I stick my dildo to the shower wall and lube it and myself up and reposition it several times to be perfectly lined up and finally push my butt back onto it feeling pressure until it finally the head feels like it pops into me as I am being penetrated by something larger than a finger for the first time. Everything went great and it was good. Then afterward I thought to myself that it wasn't that great. I threw it away and thought, "I guess I am straight after all". Then several weeks later I have to travel again and this time I am thinking about how my dildo felt and how I want that again. So This time I get another one which was a little bit bigger and more difficult to get in but this second time I already knew I enjoyed the feeling so I just relaxed and got it in and it was better even. The next day my butt was so sore I could barely sit through my meetings.
This has become a regular thing when I travel. I contemplated the fact that maybe I am bisexual and tried to live with that for a while. But when I am alone and being honest with myself saying I am bisexual just doesn't feel right. So then I would always go back to straight but that doesn't make sense given my intense desire to have sex with men. Then recently I tried saying I am gay during one of these times trying to be honest with myself alone. This feels right in my head. Then I think about how I love my wife and romantically would never want anyone else. Then I always go back to this deep desire that I have been fighting my entire life and currently I am so confused that I was talking to a friend I met online and she suggested that I post my story on here or somewhere and see what other people think about it. Thank you for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts.
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2020.08.23 13:00 Complex_Avocado_6479 Camera anal internal sex

Original post by the u/TheGrainLantern.
Following the Epstein "suicide", it's more clear than ever that there is an organization which uses children in pedophilic sex parties, in order to blackmail and control powerful people. These children are frequently murdered by these sick individuals. Some can also be traumatized for the purpose of creating dissociative personalities so they can be mind-controlled. For a full breakdown of the worldwide scandals, see this list and this documentary - both of which are non-exhaustive and already out of date, such is the scale of this operation.
Common traits of these scandals are:

Now ask yourself, what is the one type of organization which can accomplish all of these things? There is only one.
The secret services.
The only organization which would have the authority and the means to accomplish all these feats, to assert such a degree of control over all the outcomes, is military intelligence. Other entities may be involved - billionaires for example - but money can only accomplish so much. Yes you can purchase a newspaper and have journalists write something, but you can't just pay someone to murder someone in a prison and make it look like suicide. Prison security need to be moved, clearance needs to be given. People need to be so scared that they keep their mouth shut. The only way you do this is by having significant amounts of money and resources at your disposal, but also authority over them.
Here is a collection of evidence supporting this assertion:
  1. Epstein flew a helicopter which shared tail numbers with a covert US military helicopter used by DynCorp. Dyncorp has a history of child trafficking scandals in many countries and is owned by Steve Feinberg (US intelligence board). Epstein's pilot is rumored to be in US intelligence and a Mossad agent, Junkerman, has flown on his jet. Summary. Epstein's close associate, Ghislaine Maxwell, is the child of media baron Robert Maxwell, who had links to British, Israeli, and Russian secret service. Epstein got off very lightly in 2008 for sexually abusing underage girls. The current labor secretary, Alexander Acosta, gave him a very lenient deal. Who can pull the strings to make this happen? Either Acosta is a part of the conspiracy, or another entity was forcing his hand - the only entity that is capable of doing so is military intelligence. AG William Barr worked in Epstein's legal team. Barr's father, Donald Barr, was in the OSS, which was the precursor to the CIA. Donald Barr gave Epstein his first job as a math teacher in an elite, politically connected school, even though Epstein did not have any qualifications or even a college degree. And assuming that Epstein didn't commit suicide, whoever had him killed was able to make a murder look like suicide, inside a prison, while the target was under suicide watch. Guards were apparently told to leave the area due to maintenance, and CCTV camera footage was either prevented or confiscated Source. Only military intelligence operatives have the resources to pull this off. Epstein's murder, whether real or faked, was the CIA disposing of a loose asset.
  2. It is a documented historical fact that the CIA engaged in child trafficking, including child sexual abuse, to blackmail useful officials, in the MK Ultra project. Source 1 Source 2. Note that only a small portion of the documents for this project ever came to light - the majority were destroyed.
  3. The Franklin Scandal. The ring leader of the pedophile blackmail ring, Larry King, had ties to US Intelligence. Source, page 34 In a subsequent scandal involving a "call-boy ring" in Washington D.C., an associate of King's, Craig Spence, committed suicide in a hotel. The mysterious Spence was "a CIA asset" and had bugged his home so he could blackmail powerful people. Source, page 279
  4. Paul Bonacci, who was awarded $1m by a judge for the sexual abuse done to him by Larry King, was also involved in a MK-Ultra follow-up mind control operation called Monarch (also confirmed by other survivors). He directly named Colonel Michael Aquino as one of the leads in the project. Aquino worked for navy intelligence. Around this time, allegations of child sex abuse were being leveled at army bases all over the United States. Source. So it seems, at least in the 70s and 80s, there was a dedicated program by the US military for child trafficking, sexual abuse, and mind control.
  5. The Belgium Scandal. A key witness, Regina Louf, alleged that convicted child rapist and murderer Marc Dutroux kidnapped children, including her, for businessman Michel Nihoul. Louf alleged that Nihoul had hidden cameras and that she had to make sure her rapists were in the camera's field of view. Louf's allegations were independently corroborated by many other witnesses, many of whom could give intimate case details such as room layouts. Nihoul was found not guilty, after judges overruled the jury's guilty verdict. Louf was also discredited by the Belgian government's own TV station, which labelled her a deranged liar. The case was the subject of a massive public outcry after police made a huge number of serious mistakes, such as even neglecting to search a basement after children's voices could be heard - this mistake led to the children starving to death in their basement cell. Many witnesses related to the case died in mysterious circumstances, such as committing suicide despite having no personal problems, or having car accidents.Source 1 Source 2 Again, which organization has the ability to influence national media, influence senior judges, influence police, and kill people to make it look like suicide or an accident? The security services.
  6. The Hampstead cover-up, in which two children related that their father forced them to engage in satanic ritual abuse at their school and at a church, as well as pedophilic parties with their father's friends, including cutting off babies' heads. Babies were supplied to the cult by social services. An experienced police detective is on record saying he believed the children and their mother. The authorities quickly closed ranks on the situation, with a judge removing the children from their mother, which goes against lawful procedure. Medical examinations by experienced professionals proved that the children had been sexually abused (vaginal and anal examinations). Crucial evidence was withheld from hearings. Child protection authorities and the Home Office was silent and inactive. To cover up information related to the case, all major media outlets were served with a defense advisory (DA) notice - a DA notice is an official request to news editors not to publish or broadcast items on specified subjects which would compromise military or intelligence operations. Source.
  7. In 1987 a satanic cult in Washington D.C., the Finders, was investigated after children were seen being apparently trafficked by two well-dressed men. At the properties of the Finders, investigators discovered evidence of satanic ritual abuse, blackmail, sophisticated communication technology, and explosives. The CIA took over the investigation and declared it an "internal matter". No further investigation was permitted. Source
  8. Ronald Bernard confesses in an emotional interview about having to sacrifice children to prove yourself as a psychopath in the financial elite. He also says that "secret services are actually criminal organizations ... they will stop at nothing. They have their flows of money from trading drugs, weapons, people. All that money has to come from somewhere, everything has to be financed." Source
  9. The Jersey scandal (full breakdown here). A policeman, Lenny Harper, investigating a children's care home (which Jimmy Savile frequently visited), claims he recovered forensic evidence that children were killed and incinerated in the basement. In March 2008, BBC television personality Jimmy Savile started legal proceedings against The Sun newspaper which had, wrongly he claimed, linked him in several articles to the child abuse scandal at Haut de la Garenne. Savile initially denied visiting Haut de la Garenne, but later admitted that he had done so, following the publication of a photograph showing him at the home surrounded by children. The States of Jersey Police said that in 2008 an allegation of an indecent assault by Savile at the home in the 1970s had been investigated, but there had been insufficient evidence to proceed. The forensic evidence found on the site was repeatedly compromised when it was sent to the UK for analysis. Lenny Harper received many death threats and was attacked by Jersey's local media, and some national media outlets. A journalist who later tried to investigate was arrested, held for 12 hours at Heathrow airport, and banned from the island. Vice article The list of suspects in the case include British government officials. According to Harper, Chief Minister for Jersey Frank Walker (OBE) warned Harper that his investigation could "bring the government down". In September 2008, the investigation team was changed. David Warcup, the leader of the new team, said there was "no evidence" that children were killed at Haut and that Harper's information he gave to the press were not accurate. Warcup said that the bones were animal bones and that the 60 milk teeth had come out naturally. Telegraph article 2 The new team also claimed that a child's skull was actually a piece of coconut (citing no scientific analysis), going against statements made by two anthropologists that it was a skull fragment as it contained collagen, and moreover that it was "fleshed and fresh" when it had been burned. Source Warcup said that the bones which were found could have been hundreds of years old, however an expert told Harper that they could only be a few decades old. Source 2 MP John Hemming said that he had no doubt that there were efforts to cover up the murder evidence. BBC article
  10. A man called Carl Beech claimed that in the 70s and 80s he and a number of other boys were raped by powerful people in London. He made claims specifically against twelve people, including the former Members of Parliament Harvey Proctor (who had already been convicted of gross indecency for having sex with teenage boys) and Greville Janner, the former Home Secretary Leon Brittan, the former Prime Minister Edward Heath, the former Chief of the Defence Staff Lord Bramall, the former Director of the Secret Intelligence Service Maurice Oldfield, and the former Director-General of MI5 Michael Hanley. Beech claimed that he was abused at a number of places including Dolphin Square, the Carlton Club, and various other places in the Home Counties. Beech also falsely claimed that the group murdered three children: two for sexual pleasure, and a third to intimidate the others. Proctor's solicitors told him that Beech had alleged that he had seen Proctor repeatedly stab a 12-year-old boy before strangling him to death, and that he himself had been raped by Proctor. The officer leading the investigation, Detective Superintendent Kenny McDonald, said in December 2014 that experienced officers had concluded that the allegations were "credible and true". McDonald was later criticised for the statement, and it was retracted. The investigating team was changed, no further evidence was found, and Beech was sentenced to 19 years in prison. Source
  11. Natacha Jaitt, a playboy model, alleged that she had evidence of a VIP child abuse ring, involving journalists and politicians in Argentina. She tweeted that "Notice: I will not commit suicide. I won’t be bought off or drown in a bath tub, nor will I shoot myself in the head. So, if that happens: I wasn’t me. Save this tweet." She was later found dead of an apparent drug overdose - her lawyer and brother suspect foul play. Source
  12. Former police officer Mark Minnie wrote an explosive book detailing a pedophile ring in South African government. Minnie, 58, was found with a bullet to his head, but many people are refusing to believe the police version - that he took his own life at the farm of a friend near the coastal city of Port Elizabeth. "The fact that the suicide note was found doesn't necessarily mean he wrote it willingly. I mean he could've written it under duress. The fact that he shot himself with someone else's pistol already raises questions," investigative journalist and author Jacques Pauw told South Africa's radio 702. Source
  13. Imane Fadil was a Moroccan ex-model who became a celebrity after becoming a key witness in the 2013 “Rubygate” trials which accused the media mogul and ex-Prime Minister of Italy Silvio Berlusconi of “child prostitution”. Fadil was also looking to be a witness in a related investigation (dubbed “Ruby ter”) that is still ongoing. In 2018, Fadil claimed in an interview that Berlusconi’s infamous “parties” lead to dark, satanic rituals. She was also in the process of writing a tell-all book about Rubygate and the dark secrets of Berlusconi. The name of the projected book was quite evocative: I Met the Devil. However, in the past weeks, things dramatic turn. Imane Fadil died in a hospital room in Milan on March 1st after a month of agony. Media sources reported her death only 15 days after the fact, mostly because authorities announced the opening of a homicide investigation. Indeed, the cause of Fadil’s death is currently believed to be “murder by radioactive poisoning”. Source
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2020.07.26 16:05 runcep Anal sex internal camera

I just wanted to share my experience, maybe it is of use for someone. Two lessons I learned the hard way: Go as early as you can once you notice warts; and insist on the vaccine as an additional therapy.
About me: I am a bi male in his mid 30s and have receptive anal sex. I always use condoms, but as you know, fingers can transmit the virus, too, and I guess this is how I got it. I noticed a wart one day (internally), and didn't quite know what it was, but googled anal warts. At this point, I was aware that it probably was HPV, and should've gone to a doctor, but I for some stupid reason waited. When I went, the doctor pretty quickly told me it was HPV, and discussed options, one if which was to get it lasered, the other to use a suppository that is less invasive but only sometimes effective.
Again, I took my sweet time, not being aware how quickly it spreads (this is in Europe, healthcare is free, so this was not the issue - I was just sluggish). When I finally made an appointment - where you lie in the gyn chair and they put a camera in your rectum, so you get a live view of your inside - basically my whole inner rectum was covered (only the inside, though, no outside warts). The doctor said this is serious and I should have come months earlier.
We immediately scheduled a laser surgery. Long story short, I went under three times - the first two times the spread returned - and only before the last time my doctor suggested that on top of the surgery I should also get the new combined HPV vaccine (at the time, it was still experimental and not covered by my insurance; it was not too expensive, though), which also can help once you have it to avoid a "relapse". This time, it worked, and after I was healed, the warts didn't return. A few months ago, I went to my last check up. Again they used the rectal camera (yes, I know) and there were no traces of the warts.
The surgery itself was painless, I went under with general anesthetics, but the recovery each time took maybe two to three weeks. And, let me tell you, bleeding out of your asshole is exactly as much fun as it sounds like; you have to wear a sanitary pad and taking a dump is painful; I wish it on no one. This could have been avoided if I hadn't been so sluggish, and if my doctor had pushed the vaccine a little earlier.
So: don't be stupid, don't be like me. Talk to a doctor as soon as you notice something; and do get the vaccine - they may say it's only for people under a certain age, or only for women (although this is less and less the case), so insist on it.
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2020.07.24 16:42 wolf24Jul Anal internal camera sex

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2020.07.16 17:35 16JJulbarium Anal sex internal camera

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2020.02.23 15:00 jbb1979 Anal sex internal camera

Psychiatric drugs are often said to give heightened prolactin in 1 %, or maybe 10 % of patients. This is false, for several reasons . . The biggest one is, that psychiatric drugs block the D2 - dopamine receptor ( there are five dopamine receptors, called D1 - D5, D2 is the one that is considered ' anti - psychotic ', ie. blocking that inhibits psychotic behavior, and more ) . . We know from science, that skizophreniacs don't have more dopamine in the brain, than healthy people, R. Whitaker mentions this, and as such blocking it should have no effect, on psychosis, at least directly. I have been on several anti-psychotics, and I have never felt any lessening of psychotic symptoms, or reductions in degree, of delusions . . The patients I meet in the hospital also don't seem to get ' better ', they keep saying the same, crazy things, no matter how much ' medicine ', they get, I have never met a person, who got ' sane ', on the pills . . The second thing is, that it only increases prolactin in maybe 1 %, or 10 %, of patients . . This is scientifically false, as dopamine is an active ' brake ' on prolactin, meaning the second you inhibit D2 - receptors, prolactin always rises, except in a very small group of people, that have an abnormal dopamine transmission, have a flawed dopamine system, in the brain . . That means, that all the anti-psychotics, including clozapine, and Abilify causes prolactin to rise, as a physiological fact, in all humans, almost . . This is documented in a youtube talk, by a young doctor, who explains how the dopamine system works. A second problem is, that hypeprolactinemia is defined as ' above normal range ', which is Danish units is 450 mIU/L, for males, I think it is 20 units, in American standards, or numbers . . So, if a drug causes prolactin to increase, but inside this range, as the drugs Abilify, and clozapine should do, because they have weak ' inhibition ' numbers for this receptor, that might be the cause, for the low number, despite it happening . .
The second problem is, drug companies are only required to measure prolactin after 12 hours, or 24 hours, by the FDA . . So, any early spike, that is gone quickly, is ' described ' as being 1 %, or even 0 %, because of this flaw . . Clozapine has a spike, that is actually hyperprolactinemia, in a 2003 research article, above 450 mIU/L, in 6 out of 6 patients, on 300 mg clozapine, which is lower than the average dose, in Britain, which 450 mg, per day, in patients . . I have complained about psychiatric drugs always increasing my prolactin, and doctors have told me, that's psychotic, it doesn't do that . . According to medical science, it always does that, in 100 % of people, humans, and most mammals, as well . . So, if a drug gives a massive prolactin spike, but it has fallen to about 300 mIU/L prolactin ( below 450 mIU/L, upper normal range ), after 12 hours, the ' incidence ' is 0 %, or 1 % . . This is false, fraudulent . .
There is also the case, of the CAFE study, where they compared an old drug, to a new drug, and ' accidentally ' compared a low dose, of the new drug, to an equivalent ' high ' dose, of an older drug, ' equivalent ' dosages . . That made the new drug look better, than the older drugs, and it was marketed as such, as a revolutionary ' second - generation ' drug . . But, when FDA researchers checked the ' facts ', and compared a high dose of the old drugs, to a similar dosage, equivalent dosage, of the new drugs, they found very little difference . . The older drugs caused more movement disorders, problems, like ticks, spasms, but the newer drugs were worse, in terms of prolactin, hormone - problems . . That was the CATIE study, and the researches concluded the ' new anti - psychotics ', the second-generation drugs, were a clever lie, told to sell, and deceive health care funds, and governments, globally, a theft really, massive . . So, another problem in psychiatry is, that the companies have often lied, to sell more, and justify the price, of their newer ' patent - drugs ', for profit . . This means that the data, from the pre-clinical trials aren't guaranteed to be ' good ', and according to the Danish FDA, they put especial focus on those trials, because they know how many got the drugs, during those trials, precisely, and what other drugs they got, can ' restrict ' the test - subjects, so it's more valid . . In later studies, often it is difficult to find ' clean ' patients, many have other diseases, there are age differences, smoking, other such things, that complicate things, scientifically . . The Danish FDA writes that they put more emphasis on pre-clinical trials, for that reason, because they're more controlled . . That has implications for the validity, of the side-effect profile, released to the public, and it's veracity . . At least in regards to prolactin, the documentation is utterly flawed, a sham . . 100 % of patients, almost, experience an increase in prolactin, according to basic, medical science, that is taught in most medical schools . . It's physiology, ' body '-medical-science, in another word . . . Because of the flawed nature, of how drugs are documented, the definition of ' hyperprolactinemia ', and also the requirement to only test after 12 hours, or 24 hours after giving it, the drug, in pre-clinical trials, many drugs are under-reported, critically . . . The number should be 100 %, less if one uses the ' strict ' definition of hyperprolactinemia, as the ' standard ', but that misses clear spikes, that are scientifically valid, important, and strong . . Basically, this is poor documentation, fraud, and deceit . .
I have gotten several anti-psychotics, and always complained I felt like a pregnant woman, hormonally . . I developed sensitive, sore nipples, lactated a few times, became very prone to crying, especially when seeing puppies, kittens, cute animals, and babies . . According to women, describing pregnancy, this is exactly what happens . . I also developed homosexual ' ideations ', and one might think, women become less sexually interested, during pregnancy, but it is actually the opposite . . In the first three months, there's less interest, because of nausea, bodily changes, other things, ' morning ' sickness . . But, in the second and third trimester, women generally describe an above-normal interest in sex, and intercourse, with their male partners, doctors describe this as well, and call the women that experience this, not all do, ' lucky ', ' fortunate ', and blessed . . As a man, I found that repulsive, and humiliating, embarassing . . I developed interest in anal-sex, with me receiving it, from other men, kissing men, and holding hands, with men, just like a pregnant . .
I have found over 100 scientific articles, saying prolactin changes ' mood, emotions, and behavior ', towards ' pregnancy ', ' mothering ' . . Yet, this side-effect, or ' natural ' consequence, hasn't been recorded on any anti-psychotic, despite it increasing in 100 %, of patients, physiologically . . I find it odd, that 40 million skizophreniacs, 1 % of the global population, and half of that, for the males, 40 million people, and all those people outside this group, that also got anti-psychotics, that not one of them has experienced this, because this is written, as absent, on all anti-psychotics, across the spread . . Not a single anti-psychotic, not even risperidone, which gives the most prolactin, of any psychiatric drug, has this mentioned as a side-effect, even in 0.01 %, or 0.001 %, of patients . . That's a lie, a direct deceit, as 100 % of patients experience this, in differing degrees, or extents . . So, there are massive flaws in the documentation, and even things doctors know from medical school WILL happen, aren't reported, even as 0.001 % of patients getting . . I find it strange, that you can make 40 million men into homosexuals odd, without even on in 10.000 complaining . . I conclude, it is intentional, clear fraud, that psychiatry knows about this, doesn't care, and cause male homosexuality, in 100 % of the patients, because that makes them easier to handle, ' less ' trouble . . In fact, since D2 - dopamine receptors is the only dopamine receptor responsible for prolactin increase, the D1, D3, D4, and D5 receptors don't change prolactin, when inhibited, I think it's the point, of the therapy, since it doesn't cure delusions, the dopamine system isn't sick, not the problem . .
Here's a link to those 100 articles, saying prolactin causes maternal ' behavior ', or male homosexuality, as science . . They're degrading mental patients, with cruel, barbaric treatments, globally, sadly . .
Download link, copy into Internet Explorer :
This documents, since 40 articles are by doctors, medical professionals, 40 articles are by other scientists, biologists, biochemists, pharmacologist, and the last 20 articles, are by journalists, other non-scientists, that quote this research, and that it is public knowledge, that psychiatry changes men into homosexuals, hormonally, for convenience, ease . .
When they did that to me, because I played too many video games, and got so excited, I made noise, disturbed the neighbors, so they couldn't sleep, I felt like this, in my soul . .
How prolactin feels, as a soul :
Often, on the high dosages, this lasted 22 - 23 hours, a day, and I was in hell, utterly tortured . . On 10 mg olanzapine, it lasted 8 - 9 hours, on 15 mg, it lasted 14 - 16 hours, and on 20 mg, it lasted 22 - 23 hours, each day . . I think the doctors know this, since the ' sedating ' effects were gone, pretty early, but the hormones stayed, and did the ' damage ' . . I think anti-psychotics are an excuse, to pump men full of pregnancy hormones, so they become more managable, easier, to deal with . . This fits well with how anti-psychotics don't really cure psychosis, but, it seems like a way to cripple, and humiliate men hormonally, by turning them into ' pregnant ' women, with pharmaceuticals . . This happens in 100 % of mental patients, according to science, and this ' side - effect ' isn't recorded on ANY anti-psychotic, ever . . I think it's the goal, with the drugs, at least in me, they made me tired until the morning, even on 20 mg, high dosage olanzapine . . The effect that remained, until the next pill, was the hormones, those effects . . This is something every serious medical practicioner should know, and to think psychiatry as a big organization, run by doctors, that are especially interested in how molecules, and hormones affect behavior, wouldn't know this, is basically a lie, they ' count ' on it, to debase, destroy, and torture patients, to make them more compliant, or ' easy ', to manage . . It's the oldest trick in the medical book, hormones, and how they work . . Prolactin is basically an ' estrogen ', only specific for pregnancy, and maternity . . Same effect, in the male brain, though, homosexuality, same-sex interests, and desires . . . I think anti-psychotics are designed to give ' prolactin ', and not cure psychosis, which isn't possible, with a simple pill, not, at all . . According to science, this is what always happens, in 100 % of patients, everywhere . . I wonder, it seems ' odd ', weird . . When a man is constantly ' assaulted ', by homosexual desires, he is weak, ' manageable ', and doctors rely on this, to ' sedate ' them, calm them . . At least according to all science, this is what happens, in patients . . And, it feels like hell, or torture . .
Psychiatry ignores this pain, lies about it, and continues to do harm, and often patients deserve 10 mg, but it's just easier to give 20 mg, look away, and ignore the pain, by the doctors, nurses . . A quicker day, less work, all too easy, and simple . . The pain is real, and the doctors lie, deceive . . That has been my CONSISTENT experience of psychiatry, the only real constant, is the hormones, the ' sex - changes ', for convenience, a ' quicker ' day, by the nurses . . They often laugh, visibly, when they see men behave like that, ' become ' homosexuals, but dismiss it when asked, directly . . They sometimes say, if you don't shut up about the side - effects, we'll increase the dosage . . Which, means more hell, more hours, passed in torture, and dissolution, as a ' man' . . .
So, here's LIE number one . . Anti-psychotic heal the mind . . No, they main, and scar the mind, at least in men, and ' degrade ' them, by turning them into ' hormonal ' homosexuals . . It is UTTERLY humiliating, and PAINFUL, all good doctors know this, the female doctors know it from themselves, both in theory, and from their own pregnancies, and they constantly lie about it, to get away with pumping patients full of these things, often for laziness, when a patient is crippled, riddled with pain, in spirit, they're less active, more ' sedate ', and this means less work, even if it's criminal . . We know psychiatry has always used brutal means, like lobotomies, metrazole injections, and other things . . Psychiatry is just as barbaric today, they just use chemicals, instead of surgery, that cause intense pain, instead of curing, or healing . . The 3 images above, about how it felt, is an accurate picture, based on mindfulness, of how I felt for 22 - 23 hours, each day, on drugs that were supposed to help me, ' cure ' me . . I didn't feel cured, I felt annihilated, chemically, as a soul, no less . .
Abilify is approved for 30 mg, as the maximum dosage, since 2003, at least in America . . Despite this, I was given 45 mg, in a Danish hospital, and was not informed . . This caused me to hallucinate, for many hours, each night, like and LSD - trip . . For those who don't know LSD - trips, I read about it, and it causes ' trips ' that last many hours, often up to 12 hours, because LSD gets ' stuck ' in the serotonin receptors ( 5-HT2a, 5-HT2c, I think ), and ' can't get out, chemically . . That is why LSD trips last much longer than other drugs, that effect . . Also, LSD is known to ' show ' what is inside a person's soul, or mind, their ' sub-conscious ' . . A scuba-diver might see dolphins, a brick-layer may see mortar, or bricks, and a singing-teacher might see hallucinations, of notes, musical sheets . .
On that dosage, I saw newborns, infants . . The reason is, Abilify inhibits the D2 receptor, like all anti-psychotics, and that caused prolactin, the hormone responsible for the maternal instinct, to rise, physiologically . . What do pregnant women think about all the time, instinctually, their babies, the newborns, the child . . So, because Abilify is ' pharmacological ' LSD, at the higher dosages, I saw that, and because I watch a lot of computer, play games, I saw it as three ' monitors ', hanging a meter in front of me, in the air . . I saw ' myself ', in the images, or hallucinations, which is exactly what LSD does, according to both science, and drug users, describing what it does, in the mind, the brain . .
I talked to another girl, in the hospital, a few days ago, and told her I had hallucinations, on Abilify . . She said she had that too, and they had to stop the treatment, it made her sick, the doctors removed the treatment, she ' got ' ill, hallucinated, specifically she saw people, and objects that weren't their, clear psychosis . . So, on the higher dosages, Abilify might also promote psychosis, and not cure it, and cause permanent damage to the patient's ability to ' perceive ' reality, something LSD is know to do, cause permanent psychosis, or hallucinations . . For me, these drug-induced ' visions ' lasted all night, surprising to most people who don't know drugs, that it lasts that long, but LSD is known to do that, in most people, it's established science, and recognized by users . . I have never done drugs, so I didn't know that, never wanted to . . So, ironically something marketed as an ' anti-psychotic ' is actually a ' pro-psychotic ', and hurts people's minds, at least on the higher dosages . . I have found articles, saying other people have gotten 60 mg, or even 75 mg, though they have been informed, before being given above-approved dosages, which I wasn't . .
Because the hallucinations, of babies, were accompanied by intense sexual arousal, because the drug, Abilify, also causes hypersexuality, I wanted to masturbate all the time, while I saw images, of babies, newborns . . Three weeks after being on Abilify, I tried to jump from a 7th floor window, the glass didn't break, luckily . . My parents saw I was crying, shaking, shivering, in a corner, couldn't speak, so they told the doctor to stop . . He stated, it's the psychosis that's coming out, he's resisting it, because he clings to his delusions, his ' disease ', but the DRUG is fixing it, ' pulling ' it out, like a bad tooth, or ' bad ' nails, on the toes . . He needs to get 60 mg, Abilify, and he'll be CURED, said the doctor . . My dad gave him a withering look, and said, THIS ENDS NOW, OR ELSE . . And, the doctor, being a little insecure, nervous, about himself stopped . . Now, I know the images of the babies, and the sexual arousal were disconneted, I wasn't interested in sex, with newborns, on the drug . . They were separate, not ' connected ' . . But, over those three weeks, they sort of ' grew ', and on the last night, I briefly touched my penis, because of the drugs . . For a moment, I was a ' real ' pedophile ', towards babies, newborns, and I RESENT that, HATE it . . The drug was supposed to make me clear, in the brain, instead it hurt me, as a soul . .
Here are the links, to how LSD works ( by affecting serotonin - system ) :
And, how Abilify works in the same receptors, in the brain :
It is unknown how LSD causes these hallucinations, precisely, so it's not possible to say if Abilify does this, I experienced a ' classic ' LSD trip, so did another girl I talked to, a few days ago, 2020-02-13, in Denmark . . I think Abilify, on the higher dosages, is a potent pro-psychotic, and not safe for mental patients, or people in general, my experience . .
Worst case scenario, Abilify can cause a person to live permanently, in a psychotic world, something LSD is known to do, in rare cases . . This goes back to how the drugs aren't properly documented, before they're sold . . This lack of quality, in the documentation, kills people, and the doctors don't care, not really . .
Can any professional, who understands drugs, help me understand if Abilify can cause these hallucinations, or LSD - trips, pharmaceutically . . I'm not an expert, don't know a lot . . . If someone were to ask, how many people have experienced hallucinations on Abilify, it could shut down that drug, all sales, in an instant . . The number is probably 10 %, if not more, maybe 40 - 50 %, or higher . . I also had mild hallucinations, on 15 mg, that were very brief, but there . . That's an approved dosage, and the drug is dangerous, toxic . .
On a side note, during those hallucinations, I first ' experienced ' being able to be ' outside ' my mind . . Over time, that has slowly developed into a psychosis, that I can trasmit, and receive thoughts, over great distances . . That ' feeling ', of being ' outside ' myself, physically, started when I got 45 mg, during those hallucinations . . Today, I am permanently psychotic, delusional, because of Abilify, probably, marketed as an anti-psychotic . . The very diseases they claim to cure, they cause, with their drugs . .
Under law, Danish doctors are required to report serious ( life-threatening, leading to longer hospital admissions, that serious ) side-effects, to the FDA, by law, it's a felony, to not do it, as a Danish doctor . . They are also REQUIRED to report unknown side-effects, as these can be very important, for other patients, save lives, even . . Yet, in 2017, 2018, and 2019, that number was only 2 %, according to the Danish FDA, of mandatory reporting . . Nurses, non-doctors report even less, about half that, and there are more of them, nurses, than doctors . . So, the other staff reports even less, less than 2 % . . . Denmark has one of the best health-care systems in the world, and one wonders, at the global standard, and realizes that we have no reliable numbers, for the incidence of side-effects, once it is given to millions, those numbers don't exist . . And, if a doctors considers a side-effect neither ' serious ', or ' unknown ', it gets reported less . . What this means is, one would think as doctors give this drug, to millions, we start getting good numbers, for how often serious, unknown side-effects occur, we ' get the ' number, but that never happens, doctors don't do their job, sadly . . It's described in this slide, by the Danish FDA, to Danish medical students . . Note, that in 2003 - 2004, Danish doctors reported 1 %, of SERIOUS, or UNKNOWN side-effects, it was worse then, and this reflects poorly on the number, globally, as well . .
Powerpoint slide series to Danish medical student, only 2 % of side-effects are reported :
This again validates, that the documentation regarding the drugs is flawed, potentially harmful . . This sloth, as I have talked about these side-effects I've had, for the last 10 years, has cost lives, made people psychotic, injured people . . I asked the Danish FDA about three months ago, has any health-worker reported any side-effects about me, and gave them my social security number, which they are required to write, when reporting for a patient, when reporting, the doctors . . In my case, the number was zero, no reports, ever . . . Even though I have complained about hallucinations, suicide, chemical homosexuality, and worse, for over then years, by now . . That's the standard, in psychiatry, but the 2 % number is for ALL Danish doctors, not just psychiatrists, and that has implications, for drug - safety, everywhere, on the planet, liver-medicine, kidney-medicine, anything . . . If a drug - company wants to cheat, sell a harmful drug, they can do it, because it never gets discovered, the doctors don't care, patients die, and it's malpractice, highly criminal, and fraud . . .
Clozapine is called Leponex, in other countries . . What does the word lepo mean, in latin, that Danish doctors are still being taught in medical school, I asked a medical student yesterday, 2020-02-13 as of writing . . The word lepo means ' scale ', and nex means ' death ', ' execution ', in latin, using google translate :
lepo : scale
lepris : leprous
nex : deaths
Now, leponex does not cause patients to develop large scales, or ' flaking ' . . And clozapine patients certainly don't die, from scaly skin, or becoming ' scaly ' . . However, when one looks at leprosy, it is caused by a bacteria, and most of the damage it causes, happens because of the bacteria ' damaging ' nerves, or nerve fibers . . The disaese leprosy is named from the word, in latin, for scale, ' lepo ', see this link :
Meaning of the word, in this link :
See more information, in this link, varioous resources I found online, after searching for the words :
This refers to the nerve damage, where the bacteria damages the nerve myelin sheets, causing them to fall off, like flakes, scales . . So, what does this have to do with leponex, well it causes diabetes, often very aggressive diabetes . . Diabetes causes four kinds of harm, especially vascular damage, to the small blood vessels, NERVE damage, ocular damage, and kidney damage . . So, what does leponex mean in doctors language, they know the names of bodily organs, in latin, and diseases too . . Well, clozapine, lepo-nex means ' leper - death ', they cause the same damage as leprosy, just with diabetes, instead . . Or, more precisely, ' leper - execution ' . . It's a slow, progressing disease, where you lose sense of touch, slowly, but nerve activity to internal organs are also damaged, including to the heart, leading to angina, chest pains, from an injured nerve, and blood supply, and vascular dementia, to the brain . . It is slow, agonizing, and utterly terrifying, probably the worst form of execution you can invent, and psychiatry has used it since 1972, when it was marketed, to the world . . So, when a doctor gives a patient leponex, he's really thinking, ' chemical leprosy execution, or death ', as a professional . . If you go look at people, that have gotten diabetes from clozapine, for many years, they should look like lepers, almost . . Amputations, blindness, badly working internal organs, and more . . Not all get this, but according to some science, leponex causes diabetes in 55 %, of patients, and the Maudsley Prescribing Guidelines in Psychiatry says, risk of diabetes is high . . The Danish FDA says it only causes diabetes, in 0.1 % of patients, and one starts to realize, that the drugs aren't badly documented, but actively fraudulent, to enable psychiatrists to do these things, as they want . . I think psychiatry is just as bad, as it ever was, the damage they cause is simply more subtle, from the outside it might appear like the person just ' is that way ', has many diseases . . But, they've been caused by the drug, intentionally, by doctors . . If you go to a closed psychiatric ward, for the criminally insane, you'll see lepers, artificially created, with drugs . . Not all patients get it, but there are articles, where patients develop life-threatening diabetes, on dosages of 50 - 150 mg, in 7 - 10 days, of getting the drug . . Recommended dose range is 200 - 800 mg, in some countries, in others it's 150 - 950 mg . . Psychiatry performs inhumane, agonizing executions, with chemical, and cover it up, to make sure patients take the ' medicine ', without complaining, or fuss . . The whole thing runs on lies, deceit, and murder . . . The same thing with anti-psychotics, that create ' chemical ' homosexuality, they cover it up, to ' trick ' patients, into taking the drugs, that aren't helpful, or healing, in any way, at all . .
" Clozapine was first made in 1956, and sold commercially in 1972.[10][11] "
Source, wikipedia :
So yes, psychiatry is as evil as it ever was, often worse . . . The damage just occurs under the skin, so you can't see it, or think it's the patient, who has those problems, that's all . . They need to lie about, to get away with, and the FDA is helping them do, because they have approved the diabetes incidence, of 0.1 %, though it is reported as 55 %, or 39 %, in research articles . . It's not possible to get such wildly varying numbers, regarding something so simple as diabetes, they just have to measure blood sugar, before, and after, so someone's lying, almost certainly, and giving the name of leponex, it's probably the FDA, the doctors . . If it became known how dangerous clozapine really is, they wouldn't be able to sell it, anywhere . . So, they lie, to the public, hide the data, deceive, so the patients are more compliant, take the ' drugs ', thinking it is medicine, a ' curative ' . .
I was put on this mood-stabilizer, when I finally convinced my doctors I wasn't delusional, merely had mania, was impulsive . . It worked really well, for 3 - 4 months, then the effect disappeared . . I mentioned this to my doctors, but they insisted I keep taking, anyway . . The same problem occurs with anti-depressants, for me they worked well the first day, really well, actually, the second day there was 5 - 10, maybe 15 % effect and, on the third day, they simply didn't work, less than clear water, which is refreshing, a bit . . No effect, and research supports this Peter Goetzsche, R. Whitaker knows him, has documented this, and there are massive gaps, in the documentation . . However, about valproate, the mood-stabilizer, it is given for epilepsy, dose range 600 - 1200 mg, according to the Danish FDA, for mental patients it is recommended for 1000 - 2000 mg . . In 2003, it was found, this it caused testicular atrophy, in this article :
" However, after correcting for changes in body mass index (BMI), the testicular size/BMI ratio was lower in the valproate-treated patients. " Tested in 60 male patient . .
Source :
The research was more conclusive, in 2015, where they found that it castrates, with overwhelming certainty . .
Article title : Seminal fluid analysis and testicular volume in adults with epilepsy receiving valproate - 2015.
" Compared to controls, patients had lower levels of free testosterone (p<0.01), sperm concentration (p<0.0001) and count (p<0.0001), carnitine (p<0.01), and testicular volume (p<0.01), and higher rates of immotile sperm (p<0.001) and abnormal forms (p<0.0001). " Tested in 60 patients, or close . .
( p < 0.01 is science for, there's only 1 % chance, of this not happening, in patients and, p < 0.0001 means there's less than 0.01 % chance, of those things not happening, scientifically ) . .
Source :
As of 2020, this side-effect has been reported, in Denmark, and it has a male infertility indicence, of 0.1 %, no mention of lowered sperm quality, sperm damage, anything . . So, what does this lead to . . This very simple fact, psychiatry is lying about side-effects, to main, and cripple patients, with chemicals . . And it is not much better than it was, in the days of lobotomies, or more humane . . It's the same, sadly . .
When I started talking to other patients, men that became homosexuals on anti-psychotics, I was told it was not permitted, and we were shuffled to other wards, in the hospital . . I think psychiatry does everything it can, to cover up these side-effects, and lie . . I think, it's intentional, designed . . A girl I met in the hospital, told me she had started hallucinating on Abilify, and had thought her doctor had reported it, for her, that it wasn't her job . . He probably didn't . . My neighbor is on valproate, long-acting injections, and he has gotten scrotal hernia, and his scrotum is inflamed, possibly because the drug is destroying his testicular tissues, and it has gotten infected, the dead, decaying tissue . . Psychiatrists are massively, intentionally overlooking these side-effects, to hurt patients, and I have never experienced anything else, but neglect, deceit . .
That is the truth, about psychiatry, I'm a survivor, a former drug developer, who found the science . . If this isn't deceit, lies, it's the worst case of medical malpractice, and sloth I have ever seen, in any branch of science, ever, in the world . . So, I conclude it's intentional, malicious . . . Psychiatry is made of very well-educated people, foremost in the world, and they know science, worship it . .
About five years ago, I complained to the Board of Patient Complaints, in the hospital . . I was not given my journal, or informed I had a right, to see it . . I tried to convince them I wasn't crazy, but 9 out of 10 complaints are denied, in psychiatry . . The second time I complained, I got a lawyer, and he told me he needed my hospital files, the medical ' records ', to get ready for the complaint . . I went up, told them my lawyer had asked for my hospital files, but they misunderstood it, and gave it to me, not my lawyer, by accident . . As I read it, I saw they had written things I hadn't really said, ' twisted ', the truth, and reading it, I saw it made me look crazy, though I had complained about other things, other issues . . . also had the right to have it delivered, the week before the Patient Complaint ' Meeting ', which was on a tuesday morning, and I got it late in the afternoon, on a sunday, and had to read eighty pages of lies, exaggerations, and ' things I hadn't said, in that way ' . . The result was, when all the journal entries was put together, I sounded crazy, each little journal entry making it look worse, and worse, until I was sentenced, as crazy, by anyone reading it, I would have done that too, for sure . . That was when I started recording the ' talks ', also with the doctors, because I wanted to document what had been said, in the talks, before the Patient's Complaint Board, that's was all . . I have over 600 talks, with all staff, at a Danish mental hospital, going back five years now, complaining about these things, to everyone . . The last two years, I started video recording them, using spy cameras, hidden in cigarette packs, USB sticks, and sun - glasses, not because I ' hate ' them, mostly because I'm nervous about them lying, in my journal, which judges later read, during appeals, and so on . . A ' skewed ' hospital documentation, by the staff, can damn you, in any court, so I take precautions, that's all . .
When they found out I was recording them, because I put it in Facebook, and they saw it, they confiscated my phone, and said it was ' illegal ', to record them . . The hospital general lawyer wrote the same, to me . . When I asked my personal lawyer, he said it was legal, so long as I did not record anything of a personal nature, and published that, such a private matters, health-problems, addresses, and so on . . So, I smuggled a phone in, concealed in a cake, and recorded them anyway, so there, Ha ha . . .
Later, when I was in the hospital, they lied to the police, to confiscate my phone . . They claimed I had recorded the other patients, which was false . . I didn't need to record them, was not important to my case, and I didn't really care . . They were sad, sick, and I didn't benefit from recording that, or publishing it . . It would have been ' evil ', sick . . I never did that, it was bad, but the doctors lied to the police, so they took my phone, anyway . . So, I smuggled another phone in, and kept recording . .
Now, I'm in another housing project, and I have recorded them as well, with about 500 hours of video recordings, where I show them the papers I have shown you, documenting what they do . . I have a court-order to take medicine, because I threatened them, and got in a few fights, after 5 years of torture, and also being castrated, with valproate, I thought they had killed me, and 5 years of prolactin-torture, I couldn't take it anymore . . One incident, I pushed the doctor, so he fell, and raised a fist at him, and ripped his shirt, a bit, on the shoulder . . I did that, because he put me on 15 mg olanzapine, from 10 mg, and that meant prolactin-torture, many hours daily, 14 - 16 hours, over 10 - 12 hours, on 10 mg . . This is real, because prolactin increases in 100 % of patients, almost, that receive medications that block the D2 - dopamine receptor, see above, and turns one into a chemical homosexual, which feels like burning in hell, in ones soul . . He reported that as an assault, and I am now on leponex, ' chemical leprosy ' treatments, instead . . Though he knew these things from medical, he never explained to the police, that my aggression towards him was provoked by increasing the dosage, and sending me to Hell, on hormones . . . He lied . . . .
I have shown all these documents to the staff, over the last five years, they keep insisting it's delusions, and maintain the court order, and medicate me . . In the end, I walked into a trap, I now have angina, chest-pains, from a faulty heart, and even though they know, they ignore it, keep ' treating ' me . . I don't think there's anything in the world that can convince a doctor you're not crazy, they simply refuse to listen, ignore it, even the best medical science in the world . . My latest doctor told me, in a recorded talk, that all that science meant nothing, his ' clinical experience ' was more important, and he refused to talk about the science, the 100 articles included above, about prolactin's psychoactive properties, as a maternal hormone, that incudes ' maternal moods, and behaviors ' . . I got put on anti-psychotics, because I fell in love with a video-game, completely, and started playing all day, all night, often made loud noises, and disturbed the neighbors . . I asked for a room, in the basement, after some time, so I could play without disturbing others, I was so in love with the game, Street Fighter, that I couldn't stop, so addicted . . For this dangerous, insane psychosis, ' loving ' video-games, I was put on anti-psychotics, and incinerated with hormones, something I will never forget, can't . . I've been tortured, hormonally, for three, maybe four years, and that's all I remember, the torture . . In the end, they did it because it was easier, they didn't care . . By utterly crippling me, as a soul, they solved the problem with hard torture, and chemicals, that withered me . .
That's what psychiatry is, a place where they do all these things, and lie about it as much as they can, to ' lure in ' more patients, to ' trick ' them . . I've been tortured, grievously, and I will never forget it, the years feeling I was on fire, as a soul, a human being . . And, it's all science, constructed, by doctors, that want it, desire it . .
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2020.02.13 04:35 EntLadung 35 M4F Germany/online Looking for partner in crime

Looking for a partner in crime, someone to chat with and get to know, and ideally RP with. Interested in both short and long term, with a slight preference for the latter, since I tend to get off on having a connection with my counterpart.
As for me, I'm a pretty regular guy, 35 years old, originally Scandinavian, 6'2", in decent shape, towards something like a toned dad-bod. A couple of years into the beginning stages of salt & pepper hair, blue eyes, into things like cycling & bouldering. In my day job, I manage quite a few people, and so I am very comfortable to being in control and making the decisions. That being said, when it comes to sex & intimacy, I do enjoy relinquishing control, but mostly tend towards being the dominant.
As for you, I imagine you're 18-50 years old, female, ideally in a timezone that's compatible with mine (I'm CEST), which most likely means late night for you if you're in the US, or afternoon/evening if you're in Asia or Australia. If you're in Europe, everything's fair game. You're a detailed writer, and you're honest about your likes/dislikes. I'm here to please you, so let me know what you enjoy, and be upfront about it. This is about mutual enjoyment. Ideally, you get excited waking up to a red envelope, and enjoy leaving me one to wake up to as well.
Kinks are fairly standard (here's a list), but for posterity, I'd like to include oral (giving & receiving), light bondage, edging, cum, anal, teasing/orgasm denial, filming ourselves, costumes.
Some ideas for prompts:

These are just random ideas from the top of my head, but hopefully serve to demonstrate the type of dynamic I like. Pardon the length of this prompt, but I'd rather go for quality over quantity. I'm a committed partner, and would like the same in return. Again, this is for our mutual pleasure, and I'm in no hurry to get off.
I very much hope to hear from you.
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2019.12.28 12:08 DutertePasista Anal sex internal camera

She was one of Duterte's prized champions, representing the very best of the overseas migrant community, highly educated, vocal, zealous, a transgender activist, to boot. A very rare breed of an intellectual. It seemed she could single-handedly shut down the human rights champions on the other side of the political divide, such as Chito Gascon and Dean Tony La Viña, with their equally impressive curriculum vitae. For who can question the value of her credentials as "docent" of Leiden University of the Netherlands, with an MA in International Relations, minor in International Development, magna cum laude, among other distinctions. She was also lauded as the 'first Filipino" given the honor of speaking before the United Nations in support of transgender rights. No wonder she was welcomed with open arms by the Duterte administration as a propagandist with a messianic appeal, inaugurating a blog "For the Motherland" that quickly gained millions of avid followers.
What we didn't know is that she was really a wandering, penniless mendicant desperate for a job, who worked as a prostitute in the streets of Europe, offering anal sex, blow job, hand job - by her own graphic admission later. How he tricked his way into the upper rungs of the Duterte administration, getting a cushy job in the PCOO, right up there with Mocha Uson, pushing the government line on EJK and stealing the thunder from us human rights advocates who could not match his gall in claiming the moral high ground. She even had the gumption of lecturing a BBC journalist during the APEC Summit in front of the cameras, wagging his finger at the Englishman's face, with an imperious air.
Somewhere in her meteoric rise her bubble burst. She got into a quarrel with Mocha Uson and Lorraine Badoy. She fell from grace. And all those glittering credentials that eased her way to power counted for nothing, overshadowed by the dark side of her double life as a sex worker.
And then came the Global Magnitsky Act. She was staring at the prospect of not being able to go back to Europe, of jeopardizing her pending application for Dutch citizenship. She realized that life in the Netherlands was less sordid than life as a political prostitute in the Duterte regime.
And so, she stopped her blogging to save her career in Europe, but that might not be enough unfortunately. Better for her to start polishing her credentials to be able to land another job in Manila, not as a international law docent but as a hooker.
~ Wilfredo Garrido
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2019.10.04 07:30 rothayato1 Anal sex internal camera

We weren't really going out, we were just fuck buddies who enjoyed each other's company. Both of us were fiercely independent. My last relationship had been a disaster and I had come of it swearing I would never be under another woman's foot again. On the other hand, she just wanted a fuck buddy. She was honest about it which I appreciated. The relationship was the most honest relationship I'd ever been in, we didn't bullshit each other, didn't lie to each other. She knew me like no other woman had ever known me, I mean, no other woman had ever seen me being savagely fucked by another man. Because she accepted me the way I was and because it turned her on to know how kinky I was, I opened up to her in ways I had never opened up with anybody else
We settled on a routine. She spent the week at her place, we would chat everyday starting from a morning hello to a midday catch-up and then an evening wind down session where we would do a whatsapp video call. I have to say, my heart melted every time I saw her on video. I knew I was attracted to her and I knew the feeling was mutual. Not only was she sexy and pretty, she was also well read and had a good understanding of business and politics. We spent hours arguing over politics, both local and international. Friday's she'd come over to my place. Normally I'd be at my local pub having a few Friday beers and tequila's. She would get the house key from the kitchen window and settle down with a Netflix series or an anime series. I'd be home around 7.00 pm and what would follow would be the start of a marathon weekend of sex and fucking. She would leave for her place on Sunday, both of us sated, for the time being.
She knew I had a weakness for her ass, I just loved having her on her knees, my hands wrapped around her thighs pushing her ass to my mouth where I devoured her ass for hours. By the time I got home on Friday, she would have showered and made sure her pussy was clean shaven and her ass was clean with a dash of a smell of cinnamon. I slowly got her used to anal play. First with fingers, sticking a finger in her ass while fucking her doggy. We progressed to two fingers and then three. After a few weeks, she was as ready as she could be.
So one Friday, usual routine. I'd left work at 5.00 pm, got to my local at 6.00 pm. She sent me a whatsapp at around 6.30 pm saying she was at my place, I replied and told her I'd be home around 9.00 pm. I was catching up with a friend of mine called Bob who worked overseas and was home on holiday.
"Cool, enjoy, see you later." She replied.
Around 8.00 pm I get a series of whatsapp messages. You know when they come in one after the other and you know there definitely coming from one person. My phone was in my pocket and I could feel the vibrations as the messages came in. Bob was telling me all about Netherlands and the women and about some Polish girl he was into who he met in a pub in the Hague. Normal men bullshit. I pulled out my phone, casually glanced at the messages and almost choked on my beer.
She had sent me a series of pictures.
First one, she's naked on the bed, face down, ass up, the camera angled to show her spreading her buttcheeks wide at the camera. A perfect shot of her ass, asscheeks and butthole in one picture. A nasty lewd photo that belonged in Pornhub.
Second picture. Same as the first one but in this case, she's gone a step further. She was stuffing a medium sized butt plug in her ass.
Third picture, the same position as before, butt plug is now fully in her ass.
The fourth message was a short video. She had turned to face the camera. I couldn't see her face, just her lower body. She was wearing a shiny white strap-on, it was all lubed up and she was stroking it up and down suggestively.
Fifth message was simple
"Be here in ten minutes flat."
If I was a white person my face would have been glowing red like a fire. As it is I had the equivalent of a black man's blush, beads of perspiration suddenly appeared on my forehead. I went from normal guy having a pint at a pub to instantly horny and hard and consumed with lust. Bob noticed something was wrong.
"You alright dude?"
"Sorry dude, I gotta go. Duty calls," I said.
"Hahahaha...that's got to be a woman. Whoever she is, good luck bro."
"Thanks, I'll see you before you leave, have a beer on me."
I quickly paid the tab and rushed out to my car. I normally ordered an Uber when I was tipsy, tonight I didn't give a shit, ain't nobody got time for that. I got in my car and dashed home. I made it with one minute to spare (and a lot of pissed off drivers) and started undressing as I entered the door.
She was in the bedroom. She had lit candles all around so the room had a nice vanilla smell and romantic shadows all around. She was on her knees, ass up face down, her butt facing the door. I could see the butt plug still in her ass. I slowly pulled it out and smelt that wonderful smell of ass and lube.
"Tonight your fucking my ass and I'm fucking your ass," She said lustfully. "Eat that ass, fuck it and make it yours tonight."
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2019.08.08 15:13 finnagains Anal sex internal camera

It’s not just that authoritarian feminists are trying to shut down strip clubs, despite the protestations of the women who work there. It’s that mainstream feminists still think that these militant Puritans are their allies.
Not Buying It, a group led by well-known activist Sasha Rakoff has been terrorizing gentlemen’s clubs across England in recent months, by sending in undercover former police detectives to covertly film inside, and to document any instances of deliberate touching of the clients by the performers, which is banned under UK licensing regulations. The resultant tapes have been submitted to local councils in a bid to get the establishments shut down, with public petitions and newspaper coverage to accompany the drive.
Now, nine dancers at the Spearmint Rhino in London, one of the best-known clubs in the UK and part of an international chain, have sued Not Buying It for breach of privacy, demanding that all existing tapes be destroyed. An earlier High Court ruling had already banned Rakoff from further sharing the tapes, so the strippers’ chances of getting their way in the high-profile case, the costs of which are likely to bankrupt the losing side, are more than fair.
Others might have been able to predict that illegally obtaining footage of people legally and voluntarily involved in a lucrative but potentially compromising activity might have engendered some pushback from the people in question but, to Rakoff, such objections from the women themselves are immaterial. They may claim that they are dancing of their own volition, but she knows better than them that they are victims of sex abuse.
And, while research by Not Buying It purports to draw attention to some perfectly valid specific concerns – about whether women are exploited, trafficked or emotionally abused as part of their jobs – none of that is important either. Because Rakoff has no interest in any genuine investigation into the industry, with or without hidden cameras, she just wants every single gentlemen’s club in the UK to be stripped of its license, as she has demanded since at least 2003.
“The industry cannot be controlled and needs to end,” reads the petition to the government posted by the group.
In fact, looking at its recent social media output, here is an incomplete list of things Not Buying It wants banned: prostitution, pornography, depictions of pole dancing in films, sex ads, non-sex ads featuring exposed women’s bodies, shop displays in high-street erotic shop Ann Summers, 'sugar daddies' and women having anal sex.
How many of those are actually bad for women? And would all women wish to delegate to Rakoff to decide for them?
One would hazard to guess that not everyone shares Rakoff’s simultaneous obsession with and repulsion towards sex, a stance reminiscent of nothing so much as obsolescent Christian pressure groups. That not all women are keen on that level of intrusion into every aspect of private life, bar presumably a sanctioned “loving relationship”? And that not every individual who will fall outside these limits fancies being treated as empty-headed traitors at best, and possibly even as criminals, if Rakoff’s legislative initiatives get the support of the government.
So why does it take a man on a Russian website to criticize her? Why, after sixteen years of Rakoff’s high-profile campaigning, first through the group Object, and now through Not Buying It, has there not been a single article in a national newspaper – out of the scores that have featured her – that has criticized her intentions. Or just questioned her dubious claims, such as that 90 percent of all pornography features violence, or that 80 percent of men use prostitutes. Why did no one step up to defend the Spearmint Rhino employees until they went to court?
Feminism is a broad church, but should any church be so broad that it includes one's enemies?
See DailyMotion: What porn star Belle Knox has to say about choices and why feminists should listen
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