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r/ralsei: Ralsei subreddit for all of your Ralsei needs :) Ralsei, hidden under a hood, tells the Prophecy of the Delta Rune, after which he reveals more of his appearance. While Susie doesn't believe the prophecy and leaves, Kris stays with Ralsei. Ralsei joins Kris and gives them a tutorial on how to encounter enemies, encouraging pacifism. Ralsei is a kind-hearted Darkner who appears amiable and optimistic towards his teammates. Ralsei also displays signs of affection towards Kris and Susie, due to their willingness to help him fulfill the Prophecy. Unlike Susie, it appears that he dearly hates violence and prefers to solve most conflicts with pacifism. First appearing as a hooded figure he reveals himself as a prince, Ralsei. Except he hasn't had any subjects for a long time. He's just been waiting for you and Susie to appear. The Ralsei plush, designed by Jenna Post and prototyped by Eyes5, is now available for preorder! Ralsei is about 12 inches tall (with his hat!) when seated and comes with removable scarf, hat, and glasses. Ralsei is the tritagonist of Toby Fox's 2018 indie RPG DELTARUNE. Ralsei is one of the three prophecized Delta Warriors, along with Kris and Susie. He is a Darkner, a mysterious species of creatures seemingly unknown to Humans or Monsters. You can chat with Ralsei here. Ask to Ralsei whatever you want. Talk to Ralsei online right now. Chat with Ralsei's chatbot is very easy and funny It's Ralsei with a Quad Rpg and a mini gun! In order to obtain you will need sans and rebirth with 1112 worth (I think) (E)= Ralsei Infinite Barrage:Throw a infinite barrage punches (R)= Ralsei Wrath:Throw a strong punch that deal a decent amount of dmg (T): Quad-RPG:Shoot a giant rpg Shot trousled rambles deltarune ralsei ralsei plush i'm putting this poor plush through so much shit lmao i don't have any sewing ability so i don't wanna check but also..... i want secrets if anyone else has checked PLEASE lemme kno w in the meantime i'm just gonna keep staring at the poor plush with lots of suspicion what is he hiding..... Ralsei is the Prince of Darkness in the Dark World. He is attempting to fulfill a prophecy in which a human and a monster play significant roles. He is a guide throughout the Dark World. His main magic spells are “Pacify” and “Heal”

2018.10.31 21:15 samurottt Hidden real porn

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2019.04.01 18:38 GuardiaNES Hidden real porn

The successor of /Ralsei containing all the old Members and mods. Come join one of the most wholesome communities on the internet.
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2020.10.01 04:05 500scnds Porn hidden real

Source | Guestbook
Note: Some answers were repetitive, but were not edited out.
Questions Answers
Have you ever gotten into legal trouble by exploring the dark places of the internet? Like, "sorry, officer, I was only surfing drug markets and child molester forums for my next journalism piece..." Do you worry about that? Do you have to take extra steps to protect yourself? I'm very careful not to go anywhere that it is illegal to visit. You will hear loads of stories about how easy it is to "stumble upon" child porn, but the fact is that those sites usually have names like "Preteen cuties" so you know exactly what they are, and in order to access them you have to register. So you have to make a very deliberate choice to log into them. I have no interest whatsoever in viewing any child abuse material, so I don't go into those places. When I was researching The Darkest Web, I went to the discussion forums that didn't allow any images (though they did link to sites that did), and even there I turned off images.
As for the drugs, weapons etc, there is nothing illegal about surfing them and looking around.
I do get a bit nervous every time I visit the US, especially when I was invited to a "friendly" lunch with Homeland Security once (it was reasonably friendly as it turns out, it was also terrifying)
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Why did homeland security want to talk to you? They said it was about the murder-for-hire stuff, but some of the questions leaned toward something else
Is there anything that really concerns you about the dark web? Some of the things already discussed are beyond barbaric and that is only the stuff that has been found out about and been picked up by the media and your fantastic work. Do you think the public should expect worse and more horrific revelations from the dark web or is it just "more of the same" for lack of a better term and do you think the authorities are getting better in shutting this inhumanity down and catching the people responsible? I am definitely not against people taking back their online privacy and I actually think that buying drugs from the darknet markets is a safer and more sensible option than buying them from the dodgy dealer down the road. However the one thing that is really disturbing is that the dark web has provided a place for child predators to find each other and form communities where they support and egg each other on. Imagine a few years ago, someone who was into hurtcore could never tell anyone else and would be unlikely to ever come across another person with the same perversions. Now it is as simple as finding the relevant site on the dark web. When there are suddenly hundreds of people who all think and act in the same way, it normlalizes what they are doing.
One of the guys who got caught, Matthew Falder, was a sadist who used to crowdsource "ideas" for torturing the children and teens he was blackmailing into doing heinous things for him online. But apparently he was a "normal" intelligent popular guy
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But how does everyone participate in those illegal sites without getting caught? You said in other comments that you tried to stay away from underaged sites because they were illegal. Can't they be tracked down, even with tor and a vpn? The thing that I don't understand is that even on the dark web people say you should stay away from illegal sites, but how are pedos not getting caught? they are getting caught, but the way they are getting caught is through painstaking detective work, looking for clues in photos, befriending them online and getting them to reveal things about themselves (what is known as social engineering). It takes a long time and many resources.
I say don't go there because (a) it is illegal and (b) you really shouldn't want to go there
Iirc you attended the trial of the person behind the horrific hurt core website that was exposed a few years back. I was wondering if there was anything in particular that happened during the trial that particularly shocked or horrified you that isn't really public knowledge or talked about? Reactions from the judge or perpetrator during the trial etc. As I remember it the guy was a fairly young loner who lived with his parents but would probably never have been expected to be behind the horrific vile things which he was found to be. Also, how did you get into investigative journalism/writing? I wrote in one of the other replies above about the little mute girl that has stayed with me. Also, at the insistence of the prosecution, the judge had to watch "Daisy's Destruction" which was a video of torture of a toddler. He put it off for two days and when he came back he was white. He didn't have the sound on, which is considered the worst part, but he still looked shell-shocked. I don't envy him.
I'll cut'n'paste re your last question: I was in London, working for one of the most conservative law firms in the world when the Global Financial Crisis hit. I liked the job but it struck me when people were losing their livelihoods that I was working for the bad guys. I'd always wanted to be a writer so when I came back to Australia I quit law and enrolled in a writing course planning to be a novelist, but I discovered I was better at journalism. I first wrote for newspapers here about Silk Road and it grew from there
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Thanks for the reply.. that really must've been horrific for all involved from investigation to trial and for all of the victims (apart from the scum responsible of course). I guess it would be naive to assume that the end of this site did anything other than drive this depraved community even further underground. That is the part which is really scary to me but I suppose all we can do is have faith that the authorities are always close on the tail. Thank you for your work on reporting on this and raising this stuff more into the public consciousness and making people more aware of what kind of evil still lurks. It was the most disturbing two days of my life, made all the worse because they read out hours of interactions from the site where the children still had not been identified or the predators caught.
Hurt2theCore was not the last site of its kind and there are still hurtcore sites to this day on the dark web. The one hopeful thing is that there are international task forces that seem to work together really well (unlike when it comes to drugs and every law enforcement agency wants to take the lead and they all withhold info from each other). There are a lot of resources allocated to identifying predators and their victims. Sometimes this has involved some very controversial tactics, such as taking over the sites and letting them run, so that they can use social engineering techniques to identify those who are using the sites and who are actually abusing children
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So daisy's destruction is real? Was it referred to by that name court? I always thought it was a myth Yes, Daisy's Destruction is real, it was referred to by name in court and the judge had to watch the 12 minutes of it that were hosted on Hurt2theCore.
The "myth" part is that it shows a murder. The toddler, Daisy, lived, though she suffered such horrific injuries she will never be able to bear children. Hopefully she was young enough that she will grow up without the memory.
However, Scully did murder at least one child, whose body was found under the floorboards of his house. it is not known whether he filmed her murder as no video evidence of it has come to light.
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Thanks for answering. I actually watched a really good video on Hurt2theCore on youtube once, I think it was by a guy called Nexpo. It was really detailed and informative about the whole case - I forgot those details. Thanks again for replying, this AMA is really informative! I think I recall that one, it was from a few years ago.
An excellent podcast that came out recently is "Hunting Warhead", highly recommend a listen. It is a tough listen, but exceptionally well-told and respectfully handled
How do you detach yourself from your work? I'm an investigator for a law firm and I've had a lot of difficult working on wrongful death cases recently. Also, how did you first end up getting published? Any tips for people interested in that field? Thanks! I don't detach. When I was researching hurtcore, it was harrowing and affected me deeply. Writing that part of the book was a very slow process because I just couldn't be in that headspace for very long at a time. Once the book was written I didn't go back there.
I already had a reputation as a blogger and a freelance journalist when i pitched my book on Silk Road. I got an agent and it was auctioned off, with Pan MacMillan getting the rights. At the time, Silk Road was still going strong, and the book I wrote was about this new frontier of drug dealing that was changing the world. I was writing it "from the inside" as I had been an active part of the community for two years. However, right as I submitted the final manuscript to my publisher, Silk Road was busted and Ross Ulbricht arrested, so i had to quickly change the narrative to a "Rise and Fall" thing!
How many times have you approached law enforcement with information and how many times has the approach resulted in action? and... are there times where you know something nefarious is happening but history and the evidence at hand tells you it's not worth the effort? There is no point in approaching law enforcement to say "I have come across this site". If I've found it, you can guarantee law enforcement has found it as well.
The only time I've approached law enforcement was when I had information that they did not, which was when a friendly hacker provided me with a back door into the Besa Mafia murder-for-hire site. I got to see all the messages and orders etc. Of course LE knew about the site, but they did not have the details of the people who had hits taken out on them. We tried desperately to tell police in several countries that real people had paid real money to have other real people killed, but they just weren't interested. We sounded like crazy people talking about dark web hitmen, who were scams anyway and nobody was dead, so why should they be interested? They became much more engaged when one of the people WE HAD PREVIOUSLY TOLD THEM ABOUT later turned up dead
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By law enforcement, do you mean only local or else the big agencies? I feel like I wouldn't tell my local police department because they wouldn't really know what to do. It would have to the the bigger agencies. FBI in US. NCA in UK. AFP in Australia. Nobody was very interested, although the FBI did visit at least one of the targets to let her know she was a target. She still wound up dead
What are some of the most prevalent uses of the dark web that AREN'T all shady and nefarious? We might be getting into semantics here, but people use Tor, which is the most possible darknet that is used to access the dark web, just for private browsing and ensuring that commercial interests aren't following them everywhere to bombard them with ads for some thing they looked up.
Some of the news organizations have a dark web presence so that whistleblowers can upload information safely. Even the CIA has a site on the dark web so that people can anonymously tip off matters of national security.
Other than that, there are just forums, where you don't have to worry that every single stupid thing you post will be saved in posterity forever, to be trotted out years later when you run for congress or something
After everything you've seen, does anything surprise you anymore or are you just numb to it at this point? Do you think there should be more education/exposure about the dark web than there is now or would that just be counter-productive as people would just find another place to hide? I'm curious to hear any favourite stories about the Psychonauts. I am not numb and I hope I never become numb. I really don't visit the horrible dark places very often, unless I'm researching something specific, and even then I don't look at pictures or videos. Most of the crime is pretty benign - I'm not fazed by people wanting a safer way to buy drugs.
I think there needs to be ongoing discussions about online activity and its misuse in general, but most crime still happens on the clearnet. The dark web is not nearly as large or prevalent as people fear.
For a long time, a dealer provided free LSD to anyone who wanted it for personal use (ie not sale) and to any organizations who were doing psychedelic therapy.
One psychonaut got busted and spent time in prison... only he still had bitcoin in a wallet and by the time he was released he was a millionaire. He would have just spent it on drugs otherwise :)
I know law enforcement has to delve into the predator side of the dark web. With what you've seen do you think it should be mandatory or an industry standard that law enforcement officials seek professional help? I couldn't imagine investigating that daily and not thinking less of humanity at some point. I'm pretty sure they do. I worked for Legal Aid for a while, and i know there were pretty strict rules in place for the lawyers who had to defend child abusers.
When I was at the trial for Lux, owner of Hurt2theCore, I met a cop whose job it was to watch all the videos and befriend the predators in an attempt to get them to slip up and reveal something of themselves. She said she had a little filing cabinet in her brain where she put all that stuff, and that making an arrest made it all worthwhile. She had made several arrests personally. She was a sex offender's worst nightmare :)
What’s one of your personal favorite investigations and what made it unique for you? By far the Besa Mafia murder-for-hire case. What made it unique was that, first, I was provided a back door into the Besa Mafia site by a friendly hacker, so i had information that nobody else had. But then I became "friends" for want of a better word with the owner of the site, Yura. Besa Mafia, of course, was not killing anyone, but Yura made a LOT of money scamming would-be murderers out of their money. We entered into a weird relationship over the years where i would report on his activities and he would try every trick under the sun to stop me from doing so, so that he could keep scamming people. He even offered me a job, helping him, because he had become so busy. He also provided me with names and details of people who had hits taken out on them so I could pass them on to law enforcement.
It all became horribly real when one of the people who had a hit put out of them wound up dead. It wasn't Yura of course, but the guy had paid him $13K before giving up on the site and doing it himself. The thing was WE HAD TOLD THE FBI about the hit and the $13K and they visited the victim, but then put it into the too-hard basket when she couldn't think who might have paid that much to kill her.
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Wow. That’s actually pretty cool. Reminds me of an old saying. “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” It's a seriously bizarre relationship. When I was hired as a consultant by CBS for a 48 Hours expose on dark web hitmen, he actually agreed to meet me in London. But he thought that CBS was going to advertise his site as the real deal and he got excited and sent them details of two people who had hits put out on them. CBS sent them straight to the police and very shortly after two arrests were made and it was all over the news, where they called his site a scam. Yura got so pissed about it, he never turned up to our meeting. They had even hired an Academy Award-nominated master of disguise makeup artist to disguise him!
are "red rooms" actually a prevalent thing, or just a widespread misconception or rumor? I ask in part because it's very easy to see, for instance, Mexican cartels dismembering people alive, etc, just on the clearnet. Hell, a couple days ago I saw a video posted of a cartel member cutting out a dude's heart while the guy was alive, and he ATE it. He fucking ATE it. So it seems plausible... The most popular myth of all is Red Rooms, where people – usually women – are tortured to death live on camera while those who have paid to watch type in torture commands in a chat box. Think the movie Hostel, with webcams. In this sense these have never been proven to exist. I get where you are coming from with the cartels, and the recent news item where they found those shipping containers set up with torture rooms freaked me out and made me wonder!
There is some truth to this rumour, but the execution is not like you see in the movies. Most notably, because it involves children, not adults abused on demand for paying pedophiles, but not to the point of death
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The news about those shipping containers really made me speculate, since for every one person who gets caught doing something evil, there must be at least several more people who are very honed in their 'profession' doing the same evil deeds and worse, yet who evade being captured for decades. Anyway, based on morbid things I've seen, karma comes around eventually... I know, right? It really freaked me out, and then when I read that they already had intended victims for them but the police got to them first and put them in protected custody.. IMAGINE SEEING THOSE PICTURES AND KNOWING YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THEM!! I would retire to a deserted island somewhere
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Your line of work could easily result in something like C-PTSD down the road a little ways. I have a morbid curiosity, and have seen worse than those shipping containers had to offer. I'm sure you have as well. So one more question from you, if you don't mind: what are some proactive approaches to mental health you take to safeguard your sanity? A lot of wine. Cuddle my dog
Hi, there! This has been fascinating to read; thank you so much for sharing! I'm curious: why do you think so many people who don't want to engage with disgusting and illegal content like hurtcore find it so interesting to read about? Do you have any insight into your readership and the ethics associated with reading about these kind of topics? I think morbid fascination with the dark is exceedingly common - just look at how many people can't get enough about serial killers! In some ways it is probably a self-defense mechanism - the vast majority of true-crime readers are women. People like to be armed with knowledge. We also like to be spooked and scared.
As for my books, I don't really go into much gory detail, but the horror still shines through
Out of all 9-5 jobs out there, why this? What’s your motive? I got disenchanted by being a lawyer and I had wanted to be an author since childhood. The lawyering put me in a strong enough financial position that I could quit to do a uni course for a couple of years. My plan was to become a best-selling novelist, but my first chick-lit novel was nothing special. However, during the course, I found I did really well at journalism and was soon making a living as a freelance journo before I finished the course. My first major feature was on the Silk Road drugs market, which I had discovered thanks to a friend who was using it. Once I got in there I became fascinated by everything about it and started contacting the owner, users, vendors etc asking for stories (I was upfront about who I was). I began the first serious dark web blog - allthingsvice.com - and also became the go-to freelancer for Australian dark web stories. Then I pitched my first book and got a healthy advance for it.
I like working for myself, working from home and delving into things. Right now I have my dream job (though it wouldn't hurt to pay a bit more. I'm certainly not making anywhere near what I used to make lawyering, but I make enough to get by and I live pretty simply)
Did you ever do any writing on Brian Farrell and his role in Silk Road 2.0? I was Brian's cellmate for all of 2017 at Sheridan Federal Prison and heard all of his crazy stories. Was just curious as to the validity of them all. DoctorClu! I did write briefly about him in Silk Road, but it wasn't all positive. I remember being frustrated by the shitshow that was Silk Road 2.0 in the beginning, right after SR1 shut and when DPR2 took off and Defcon got all dramatic. It settled down after a bit and lasted a year, when it was revealed THEY HAD A FUCKING UNDERCOVER HOMELAND SECURITY OFFICER ON STAFF THE WHOLE TIME. But yeah, anyhow, they are probably true. I'd love to hear them :)
Was there ever something on the dark web that made you surprised ( in a good way) and smile ? So many things. Back in the day of the original Silk Road, I became obsessed with the forums, the people behind it, the intelligent discourse about the War on Drugs and philosophy. I found it amusing that drug dealers ran sales and giveaways. There were book clubs and movie clubs.
One of the most important people from that era was Dr Fernando Cauevilla, who became a member of Silk Road as "DoctorX". He was a real doctor who provided genuine, free, non-judgmental advice about drug use to the members of the site. It was quite an amazing time.
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Did Ulbricht get taken down the way we were told in the news? What happened to all the Bitcoins? His arrest went down the way we were told in the news. How they located the server has never been disclosed (other than a fanciful explanation that NOBODY could believe). This explanation may be tested if Variety Jones runs a Fourth Amendment argument at his trial
The bitcoin in the wallet on Ross' computer was auctioned off by the Feds. He may have other bitcoin wallets stashed somewhere but nobody knows
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Book/movie clubs on the silk road? Yeah, they would set reading and then everyone would come back and discuss the book, or they would have a time when everyone watched the same movie at the same time and chatted about it in real time
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Haha that's amazing! I don't suppose you remember any of the books in question? They used to be a lot of philosophy books, especially on agorism. A Lodging of Wayfaring Men was one of the books. I remember V for Vendetta on a movie night
You don't seem to be pushing your most recent project and you're actually answering all the questions people ask, so I've got ask...are you some sort of government plant meant to destabilize reddit? This isn't how AMAs are supposed to work. You come in, you half ass a few questions, hawk whatever you're here to hawk, and then leave after 20 minutes. That's how it's done. lol I'm a genuine redditor from way back, and I love talking about the stuff I do. I did find that after I answered a question in an AskReddit thread a while back that blew up, the sales followed. But that was organic and I don't think you can force it to happen - Reddit can spot that a mile awy
What are some of the best things about the dark web? And can anyone get on it? Things you can buy that you can’t buy normally online? I really enjoy some of the forums, especially the psychonaut forums where people who like to trip on psychedelics get together and talk drugs and philosophy. There's a real "be kind to one another" vibe.
Getting on the dark web is easy, but not getting scammed when buying things takes a lot of homework. Yes, you can buy most things, but the most popular things are drugs and digital goods, i.e. things that depend on repeat custom and are easily transferable from seller to buyer
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[deleted] You're doing the Good Work my man. I'd give you one of those awards if i knew how
What would you define the word "Safe" when it come to the internet (both www and dark web) world and are there any tips that I should follow to keep myself safe? It really depends on what YOU mean by safe. Tor, which is the darknet that provides access to the dark web will keep you safe from prying eyes and surveillance.
If you mean keep your information safe, the old-fashioned advice is to never reuse your password and to enable 2-Factor authentication wherever you can. Your information is quite likely somewhere on the dark web thanks to high-profile hacks of major organizations, but provided you don't re-use usernames and passwords, you really don't have to worry too much about it.
If you mean keeping yourself and/or any kid safe from predators, the only thing is to ensure you are educated about the approaches and methods they use.
Has Covid affected the Dark Web in any real way? Also I just read through all of the post comments, what incredible story’s. I would totally buy a book about the Silk Road or Yaru! re covid on the dark web, here's some notes I made for an interview I did recently:
* when Trump first hyped hydroxychloroquine as a potential miracle cure for COVID-19, drug dealers on the dark web seized on the claim.
* Listings quickly popped up on the most popular darknet markets
* A vendor on Whitehouse Market sells 100 Pills for $90, calling it a “Miracle Drug For Coronavirus” and suggesting buyers purchase in bulk to sell at a mark-up locally.
* Another makes the dubious claim “This drug will help people to beat Corona Virus” There are 11 listings on Empire Market currently, although more than half are from the one seller, who is a well-known and trusted vendor on the site.
* There were also people claiming to be selling infected blood or plasma of recovered COVID victims
* The infected blood stuff is just bullshit IMO Just because something is listed doesn’t mean it is genuinely for sale
* There's been some claims to be selling vaccines
* At the beginning there were also loads of listings for PPE
* some just used it as a marketing tactic - “fight off the virus with edible cannabis” or “relax with Xanax” and others as an excuse to raise their prices
* However, sales are low compared to sales of other drugs on the site, so it is difficult to say whether it’s something that will really catch on
* It didn’t take long for complaints to come in and market owners to clamp down on anything claiming to be a miracle cure or vaccine
* users were discouraging other users from profiting off the pandemic and requested markets provide health and safety information
* All the major markets forbid anything being sold as a cure for COVID. They flagged keywords and vendors would be told to take any listings down. They also put out PSAs telling people not to buy
* Monopoly: threatened to ban and.. “You are about to ingest drugs from a stranger on the internet - under no circumstances should you trust any vendor that is using COVID-19 as a marketing tool to peddle already questionable goods”
* It was a business decision. They don’t want anything that will attract attention or that might cause desperate people who wouldn’t normally use the DNMs to find their way there
* The idea behind DNMs generally is educated and responsible drug use. They really don’t want people dying - bad publicity and no repeat custom
* However the dark web is rife with scammers and people willing to prey on the desperate so there are still scams out there
* The only way I could ever see it becoming a thing is if there is a well-known potential cure/vaccine that is not being made widely available and could plausibly find its way onto the black market
Hi Eileen :) My question is about how you construct your Casefile episodes - I assume there is an extensive amount of outlining but do you write the final draft like a script specifically thinking about his voice? And about how long are they as far as - for example - does one hour equal 50-60 pages? Thank you. I initially write them as if I'm writing an article or book, but then go back and edit them to be read out and yes, when I do that, I do have his voice in my head lol. One episode is usually around 12,000 words. It then goes to another editor who edits the episode to be even more "casefileaa' before it finally goes to Casey
Have you been exposed to things in your investigations that have made you second-guess what you do? If so, what has made you keep going back? i've definitely had days where I question everything, but to be honest, I don't really hang around the horrible really dark places much. I did delve into the child predator forums when I was writing The Darkest Web, but I don't make it a habit to go there. The psychonauts are much more friendly
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To continue with that- have you clicked images, links that make you a suspect in certain scenarios? Oh absolutely. Sometimes I go to a "Fresh Onion" site, which is a site that crawls all the .onion addresses (dark web URLs end in .onion rather than .com, org etc) and alerts you to any new ones. Sometimes they don't have any description, so you take a big risk clicking on any of those. The most dangerous button on the dark web is the "Random Onion" button, so I avoid that.
I'm pretty careful about what I click, but the moment something looks questionable I nope the fuck right out of there
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Have you ever felt that you may be a suspect whether it be ok a drug site, a pedo site, etc. Have you ever been contacted by someone regarding your surfing habits? Well my actual surfing habits are protected by Tor, which means they are hidden from prying eyes, so no I haven't been contacted about them. I am very open on the dark web about who I am and what I'm doing there - I use the name OzFreelancer on all of the markets and forums. I don't go to the sites that host child abuse images - you can't un-see that shit and I don't need it in my head.
As noted in another reply, I was contacted by Homeland Security on one of my visits to the US and taken for a "friendly" lunch.
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Psychonauts are more friendly than most people. Something about regular mind altering experiences makes you want to be less of a cunt. Yeah, I call The Majestic Garden a little corner of sunshine and rainbows on the dark web :)
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More about The Majestic Garden please? What is grown there? It's a place where people talk about and source psychedelics - most notably LSD, the 2C family, DMT and MDMA. Talk about and sourcing harder drugs is forbidden. In fact the admins snuck in an autocorrect so that any time someone wrote the word "cocaine" it would post as "a raging hardon" :D
Do you fear that seeing all this stuff might turn you emotionally blunt? I'm not watching any of this stuff on purpose (even the clearnet stuff), because I fear that the more you see of it, the more normal it gets, and ultimately, the more it will fuck you up. To quote the movie 8mm... "If you dance with the devil, the devil don't change. The devil changes you." No, I can't even watch "3 Guys 1 Hammer" in its entirety, let alone look at the really dark materials on the dark web. When I was researching The Darkest Web, going into the predator forums did the opposite of making me blunt. It was the shortest section of the book but took the longest to write because it was so emotionally draining
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I have to ask, what is "3 Guys 1 Hammer"? It's a video of two teenagers murdering an innocent man with a hammer that went viral on the gore sites of the regular internet. It's truly horrible.
The teens killed over 20 people. I wrote about them in my book Psycho.com (excuse the plug)
I heard somewhere that you foster dogs. Is that something you do to counter all the terrible humans you encounter in your research - everyone knows how dogs are better than people. How many dogs have you fostered and which one was your favourite? After my dog died I knew I didn't want to have another dog as I wanted to travel more. So I thought fostering dogs would be the answer as you give them love for a few weeks and then they go to their forever home. My first foster, Roy, was a big fat failure and now he lives here and sleeps in our bed and is the most spoiled dog alive
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Did you then just decide to quit travelling? I don't know anything about Roy, but I already think I love him. Nah, he has family he can stay with when I go away, but any major travelling has been thwarted by COVID for now anyway. I'm in a hard lockdown city.
And I'm sure Roy would love you too, u/suckmyhugedong
Given how much you know about the dark web, what kind of crazy awful nightmares have you had? This could be a really good one. Thank you Probably the worst thing was delving into the forums where child predators gathered. I never looked at any videos or photos, but just seeing their discussions sickened me. The one thing that keeps coming back to me came out of the sentencing hearing that I attended of Lux, owner of Hurt2theCore, considered the most heinous website in history. In court they read out a conversation between him and an abuser who made videos of torture of the mute disabled child in his care. They were joking "at least she won't be able to tell anyone" . the abuser wasn't caught, at least by that stage
As an indie author, how have you sourced freelancers? Did you seek out those that have specific expertise or did you work with editors from your time as a traditionally published author? I learned to do everything myself before I started outsourcing.
I work with a professional editor who happens to be a friend of mine from back when we did a writing course together. I've been doing my own covers, but now that I have some royalties coming in, I've engaged a professional cover artist from Reedsy to develop a brand and more professional-looking covers for me. It is the hardest thing to find people you really want to work with and who are in budget.
I still haven't got the hang of email lists, newsletters or a website - they are all in a total mess at the moment and I'd love to find someone who can do them, but again it is that problem of finding the right person who is within budget
is it true that most of the internet is in the "dark web"? if so about how much percent is it? By far the biggest myth is that it 10x larger than the Internet. I mean, this should be common sense anyway, but it gets propagated by tabloid media all the time. It stems a lot from people using the terms "deep web" and "dark web" interchangably when they are different things.
The statement that 90% (or thereabouts) of the internet is hidden is true, and it is called the deep web (not the dark web). The 90% that is hidden is all those pages you won’t get to using google or any other search engines. There’s nothing scary about that – in fact it works in your favour.
The easiest example is your bank. The bank’s major page is available to anyone who searches the web (part of the 10%, also known as the “clearweb”). But once you log in, all those pages you can access that contain your personal details? Not searchable on google. Each one of those pages is part of the 90% of the deep web. Business and government intranets also make up part of the deep web. Honestly, it’s nothing to worry about.
The dark web – the hidden services available through Tor and other anonymising programs – makes up a tiny fraction of the deep web. A really, really tiny fraction. It is infinitely smaller than the clearweb.
Do you think human trafficking happens on the dark web? Last year (I think) there was a really bizarre story here in the UK about a model who was supposedly kidnapped to order, drugged and transported overseas by a group called "Black Death". The official story is that BD doesn't exist, and the kidnapper was a fantasist. Is it likely that humans are bought and sold into slavery over the dark web? There are no slick websites with auctions for slaves on the dark web, but I have no doubt that human traffickers use dark web encryption to communicate.
(here comes the second plug for the thread) - I wrote about the kidnap of Chloe Ayling and the Black Death Group in Murder on the Dark Web
What ever happened to the plural of mongoose storyline? it seems like after he was arrested in the united states, his case just fizzled away. did you ever find out any more information about yuri after he cancelled the interview with a news program? what happened with peter scully's case? i read that there was a fire where a lot of evidence against him was held and it all went up in smoke. are there any character and/or personality storylines that you feel haven't been told or are still a complete mystery? eg. tony76 1. He is still in the MCC in NY and awaiting trial. It has taken a long time because he had terrabytes of information to go through and things would have slowed down due to covid. I understand he is running the Fouth Amendment argument that Ulbricht probably should have run in the first place
2. I last heard from Yura just a few weeks ago. He is still scamming. There are some more programs in the works about him
3. Yes there was a very convenient fire, but he still got sentenced to life and i hope he rots in hell
4. I am madly curious to know what is happening with the extradition of James Ellingson, aka “MarijuanaIsMyMuse”, aka "redandwhite", MAYBE aka Tony76. I would LOVE to know that full story!
the below is a reply to the above
Wow, this shit is a blast from the past. I used to love following the darknetmarket drama. Did you write about PoM and tony76 in one of your books? Ever since reddit shut down /darknetmarket I've been out of the loop. Yes, I wrote about them in The Darkest Web
I was in touch with PoM/Mongoose when he went on a posting rampage on MyPlanetGanja, then visited him in Bangkok prison several times. Wrote all about it :)
This may have been answered by a previous post pertaining to native language barriers to specific sites on the dark web, but in your investigations, did you come across content/pages/forums from warzones? Middle East, Burma, Afghanistan, etc? If yes, what was the most memorable bit? There are loads of sites in foreign languages, but it is too difficult for me (a one-language numpty) to attempt to translate through AI, and it is not worth hiring a translator when they could just turn out to be Cat Facts
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2020.10.01 02:25 muxerr Hidden real porn

(I promise this is almost over and we'll all be able to move on)
Saturday had two break out session periods. Remember that the break out sessions are all just prerecorded youtube videos with no opportunity to interact with the presenters. There were 7 sessions total on Saturday, with the same 7 sessions available during both break-out periods. I guess this gave people more flexibility, but it seemed kind of shoddy. I'll cover the first three in this post.

5 Truths for Overcoming Crazy-Girl Emotions, with Kristen
- K invites us to jump up and down to pack down all the information we’ve learned so far and make room for more.
- Girls are emotional. Everyone’s emotional, but girls especially. (Source?) Out of her family, Kristen is the most emotional girl, so they call her “the ocean” due to all her ups and downs. When she was a little girl she once broke down crying when her parents wouldn’t let her wear an outfit because it wasn’t modest.
- Emotions can be bad or good, and we feel many different types of emotions. In high school K worked at a bookstore where she had to do public speaking, which made her nervous. (Shocking, honestly. I wonder if it was a Christian bookstore?) On her wedding day she experienced pure joy at getting to marry the man she’d been praying for since age 13. Emotions become crazy girl emotions and a problem when they direct our lives.
- We might feel hopeless about overcoming our emotional problems, but God made us to have lots of hormones and feelings and so he cares about our crazy girl emotions.
- Here are 5 biblical truths to help us overcome our crazy girl emotions:

  1. God created emotions and has emotions himself. I’m not sure how the chronology of God having emotions and also creating them works, but ok. Before the fall there were emotions, but no negative emotions such as anger.
  2. Sin greatly impacted our emotions. The first sinful emotion was felt by Eve (of course), when she and Adam hid from God out of fear. Not all negative emotions are sinful, but they all occur as the result of the fall.
  3. This is the most important point in the talk: our thinking directly impacts our feelings. Back before she was married, K was struggling with controlling her emotions and prayed for help. At a conference she encountered the idea that our thoughts impact our emotions and started praying to “take her thoughts captive.” She cites Philippians 4:8 “whatever is good, pure, etc., think on these things.”
Our emotions are like…..a train. She pulls out a toy train that she borrowed from Davey. The engine is our thoughts (but later it’s also truth) and should lead the train, but most of us allow the caboose, our emotions, to drive the train.
This idea was put to the test last year, when K had her third miscarriage after 5/6 years without a pregnancy. At her 12 week dr’s appt, the doctor told her the fetus no longer had a heartbeat. K started to believe lies, such as that God didn’t really care about her or wasn’t good. She spiraled until she realized that she was allowing lies and the resulting emotions to drive her, and asked God for forgiveness.
K quotes from her “good friend” Erin Davis, who is apparently some Christian author. We might believe lies that we are unloved or ugly, but our emotions don’t always reflect God’s truth.
  1. God calls us to pursue self-control. When we tell a sibling “you’re making me mad,” we’re putting the blame on the other person and not taking responsibility. (Ok, so stop telling girls that they're causing guys to stumble by showing their collarbones.)
  2. Praise is a powerful weapon against wrong thinking. When K starts experiencing crazy girl emotions, she turns on praise music to help change her thinking.
- During “that time of the month,” we think we have a pass to act however we want, but God’s word never gives us a pass. K prayed for help with controlling her PMS emotions and after a few months her husband commented on how happy he was to be married to a woman who didn’t act crazy once a month.
- K encourages us to write out Philippians 4:8 on a note card, inserting our name into the verse, to pull out when our emotions are getting the better of us.

Why Our Modern Culture of Self-Love is More Harmful than Helpful, with Bethany
- B begins by talking about her husband and baby even though this has nothing to do with the topic at hand. She’s proud of us for joining her for this talk since it’s a more serious subject.
- B asked Daev to look over her notes and he told her they reminded him of a song. She had never heard this song so she had to look it up. It’s that particularly obnoxious Justin Bieber song about some girl who he thinks is too self-involved. She sings a line from it but messes up the words. “Hopefully I didn’t get that song stuck in your head, and hopefully you don’t actually even know it, because that might be better for everyone.” Agreed.
- B tells us that she’s had a pretty big journey of loving herself. In high school she loved herself “a lot” because she was so good at sports and tended to be a leader. She also felt proud of being a good daughter compared to Kristen, who was more rebellious. People in her community would talk about what a good Christian girl Bethany was. A guy’s friends laughed at him for talking to her because they thought she was too good for him. She loved herself so much that it even skewed her view of the Bible, causing her to believe that Jesus loved her because she was good. She made an idol out of her reputation and herself.
- In her early 20s things started to change. B was in an unhealthy relationship and her family and friends encouraged her to end it but she refused because she wanted to follow her heart. She convinced herself that everyone was just against her and wanted her to die an old maid. This went on for several years. “You may be thinking ‘Bethany?! Of Girl Defined!?’ Absolutely.” Her experiences are why B can now teach on these things.
- “By the grace of God, and a trip to the mountains, that can help too,” she realized that her relationship was a disaster. She didn’t like herself much at this time because she felt like a “proud, naive, fool.” Self love wasn’t the answer because there was nothing inside herself that she loved. (So already she’s showing that she doesn’t get what people mean by self-love.) She needed something outside of herself.
- B had a revelation that Jesus didn’t die for her because she was good, but because she’s imperfect. She didn’t need to love herself more, she needed to love God more.
- We’ve all had experiences like this because messages of self-love are being hammered down our throats today. We hear phrases like follow your heart, be true to yourself (“I’m not even sure what that means, which self?”), follow your truth (she’s even heard this from Christians!), you are enough, don’t let anyone stand in your way, follow your inner dream (“this might work out in animated movies, but not always in real life”), you’re a good person, you need to forgive yourself. Do we ever see these in scripture? No.
- Bethany googled the definition of self-love and found that it means to have a high regard for your wellbeing, to put ourselves first, to not sacrifice our wellbeing to please others, and to not settle for less than we deserve. (B clarifies that we shouldn’t hate ourselves either, we should let God define our worth).
Can you IMAGINE if Jesus had followed modern advice about self-love? He never would have come down to earth, let alone sacrificed himself on the cross. If Jesus hadn't settled for less than he deserved, we wouldn’t even be here. (Not sure if she means that Christianity wouldn’t exist or that we would literally not be alive). But no, Jesus agape-d us.
- We’ve become obsessed with ourselves and make idols out of ourselves. We spend hours on social media, gossip, boys, beauty, material objects, etc. (Of course she adds that using social media to point others to Christ and taking care of our appearance in order to present ourselves well are fine.) (It’s funny because I’m an atheist premarital-sex-having whore and I’m quite sure that Bethany cares about all of these things more than I do.) Living for ourselves comes naturally, but we should be living for God instead.
- “I want you to think about a well.” She shows us a drawing in case we don’t understand what a well is, I guess. The point of a well is to provide water. We’re often like empty wells, trying to find water inside ourselves when there’s nothing there. We need a source, Jesus. He died for everyone and doesn’t play favorites. He’s an example of the opposite of self-love. B reads some Bible verses about how Jesus humbled himself and served others and wants us to do the same. Finally, B reads the entire crucifixion story from the gospel of John and talks about how Jesus is the ultimate example for us.
- “We don’t need more self-love. We need more God-love.” When we feel bad about ourselves, we should think about Jesus rather than trying to love ourselves more. Likewise when we’re feeling proud, we should remember that the real point of our lives is to be in relationship with Jesus and point others toward him. Lasting peace/hope/etc. can only be found in Jesus, not in ourselves.
- What would happen if we all stopped living for ourselves and began truly living for God? Imagine how our relationships and everything else would change. “It’s not about my inner dream. No. That is absolutely garbage.” We should use our talents for the glory of God, not for self-promotion.
- As usual, we close with a prayer. B asks God to help us follow Christ’s example in being others-centered.

Understanding God’s Timeless Design for Sexuality, with Betsy Gomez
- We’re going to talk about a topic that can be taboo. Growing up, Betsy was not taught about sexuality and believed that it was shameful. Betsy had to go to the world to learn about sex; she first encountered it in a magazine article on sex tips and she felt that adults had hidden something great from her. She started watching tv shows she shouldn’t have because she thought it would be good to know more about sex. She didn’t understand how to view sex as part of God’s plan rather than something dirty.
- Even once she got married Betsy was confused about sex and she didn’t enjoy it as she had thought she would. Finally she came to the right place, God’s word, to learn about sex. She’s going to share three simple ideas that we should know.
- 1: Sexuality is God’s very good idea. Growing up, Betsy thought sex had caused the fall, but that’s a lie. We talk about the first four words of the Bible: “In the beginning, God.” Sex points to God because he’s the creator and the main character of everything, including sex. Mankind is special because we were made in God’s image.
Betsy encourages us not to read the Bible at a fast pace and to pay attention to repetition. We go over the verse about God creating man in his own image very slowly.
God created us as relational beings and sexual beings, and he created males and females. Together males and females reflect the image of God.
Betsy’s son was about 8 years old and taking a bath when he asked her why God gave him male genitals (she avoids using any sort of anatomical words, of course, the furthest she goes is “organs”) and she called her husband in to save her from having to explain it.
Betsy explains the different creation stories in Genesis 1 and 2 as God “zooming in” on different aspects of the story. Genesis 2 allows us to see how women were created for men. She obviously believes that the Pentateuch was written by Moses and explains how his writings allowed the Hebrews to learn about their origins for the first time.
If Betsy were Eve and was given to Adam she would be upset about being property, but Eve was okay with it because there were as yet no bad ideas about sexuality.
So the purpose of sexuality is for us to be fruitful and multiply. It’s part of a bigger story. “We were made in the image of God. That includes our sexuality.” (Not sure what the implications of that are; does God have a sexuality then?) God didn’t give Adam sexual organs to do whatever he wanted with them, they’re for use within marriage.
We are still sexual beings outside of marriage, but we shouldn’t practice sexuality outside of marriage.
Even after a couple years of marriage, Betsy was reading a book that said to pray before sex and found the idea gross and weird. She needed to learn that sexuality is not shameful and is a gift from God.
Eve knew that her sexual organs made her a woman and didn’t rebel against God and try to be like Adam. On tv and social media and even in our own hearts we see a lot of women who rebel against their design.
Adam and Eve were close to each other and to God, but a problem developed when Eve thought it was a good idea to be her own God and question God’s goodness. Ever since that moment sin has distorted our relationships with God and with each other, and sex became shameful and dirty.
Some of us are still in that place of viewing sex as dirty. When Betsy was young she and her mom fell asleep watching a movie, and they woke up to porn playing on the TV. Betsy had so many questions but they never talked about it. She wants to talk about it with us and encourages us to talk to our moms or other godly women about sexuality.
Betsy seems to think that her (feminist) mom viewed sexuality as shameful because she wasn’t a believer and therefore didn’t have the framework to understand it correctly.
The world has a distorted view of sexuality. For example, they think we can choose how to use it. This is false because we are created beings. Misusing our sexuality is like storing metal in our microwave and accidentally exploding it because we don’t know how it works. Some of us may have already experienced negative consequences from not understanding sexuality.
The world also believes that sex is about “me,” but it’s about God and serving others. We know that the world is wrong to say that sex has no boundaries. We should doubt everything we see about sex in pop culture.
Sex is promoted as a life goal. Cigarette ads portray smoking as satisfying, and society does the same thing with sex, telling us it’s a way to get the satisfaction and everything else that we’re looking for. (This is wrong, obviously.)
- 3. (I think number 2 was that sin distorts our view of sex.) The gospel restores us to God’s timeless design for sexuality. If non-Christians are watching this, they might be confused as to how Jesus fits in with sex. (She’s right, I am.) After the fall, we deserve God’s wrath, to be punished with death. But instead God sent his son to fix our situation and pay the penalty for us. The person who paid the penalty had to be someone holy, someone who resisted all temptation, including sexual temptation. Jesus redeems every aspect of our lives, including our sexuality.
Betsy reads from Ephesians, which echoes Genesis by saying that a man leaves his parents and becomes one flesh with his wife and goes on to say that marriage is a representation of the relationship between Christ and the Church. Sexuality therefore points us to the relationship between them.
There’s not going to be sex in heaven (bummer), because everything will point to the union between Christ and the church and we won’t need the reminder of sexuality.
There’s not going to be sex in heaven, because everything will point to the union between Christ and the church and we won’t need the reminder of sexuality.
At the first marriage, God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, so some girls might worry about never getting married or about not being able to have children if they do marry. But the gospels show us a different type of fruitfulness, the ability to bring new people to God’s family through conversion. Sex isn’t meant to satisfy us, it’s meant to point us to the creator who alone can satisfy us. We have the power of the gospel that we can use to control our desires to use our sexuality incorrectly.
Betsy “pleads” with us to give our bodies to God as a living sacrifice.
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2020.09.29 01:27 Garbagethrowaway1998 Hidden real porn

A throw away account so people can’t find my real one..
This is probably gonna be confusing so there’s a TLDR at the end. I (f22) have been married to my husband (m27) for 2 years, together for almost 5. Recently i started making adult content (which he totally is fine with). It brings in a good amount of side money and he gets to help me create it. It’s been a lot of fun for both of us. However we’ve had issues in the past where he has lied about sites he’s been on, hidden things about his past, and lied about masturbating. Mind you, i DO NOT CARE if he masterbates but i do care when i hop on the computeborrow his phone and theirs porn just there. I hate the lying and it caused a lot of issues (the lying, not porn). He admitted at one point he would still wait till i fell asleep to jerk off even if we had sex a few hours before because it wasn’t enough for him which honestly was a blow to the chest. Anyway, i thought we’d gotten over all that. Haven’t had that issue in a long time and felt things were better between us. Until i recently came across it again. He made a Reddit to “help share my stuff” and when i went to look today he had a ton of porn Reddit’s on there that aren’t related to ANYTHING i do. I asked him about it, and he of course lies to my face. I’m starting to get jealous of the girls he watches online- which is a new feeling for me. As in the past my irritation had been with the lying only. And it feels hypocritical of me to be making adult content and not liking my husband watching it.. but at the same time I’m just like; why am i not enough? Why do you need to lie to me? We have sex everyday, i send him photos every. Day. It just feels like maybe I’m not what he wants anymore and that’s why he’s so secretive about it. I’m not asking for the morality of watching porn because i don’t have a problem with porn itself. Am i wrong for being so absolutely insecure about it suddenly? He’s my best friend, i love him to death, but my heart hurts i guess. this one thing just really bothers me. It’s nice to know other people find me attractive in my own content but it cuts deep when i feel that my husband isn’t attracted to me.
TLDR; i make adult content, and feel hypocritical for being upset that my husband always watches porn and is always lying about it. My issue not being he’s watching porn, but that he tries to lie and hide it. I’m beginning to get upset that he’d rather watch that then be with me. I have 0 issue with him wanting to get off on his own time because everyone does but can’t stand the lying and just almost constant looking at it.
Thanks for reading, I’m sorry if this is confusing or annoying. I love my husband and just want to feel like I’m his type.
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2020.09.28 14:54 Human-Ad-5841 Hidden real porn

I am (16)F and I have been dating my boyfriend almost two years now. Throughout a large period of our relationship, my boyfriend was kind of a huge asshole to me. He’s sort of the classic Xbox gamer type of dude so he’s pretty immature and unequipt to know how to treat a girlfriend, but I knew he had a good heart, so I stayed. But he would do things behind my back. I wanted him to stop talking to this girl who, when we first met tried to get him to block me and not talk to me. She had access to all of his social media’s and would text me as him. He still didn’t cease contact. He even told me he didn’t mind the controlling. She also hugged him behind my back when I left for my bus, he told me he didn’t hug back but I dokt know if that’s a lie or not. They do not talk anymore, but that still lingers. Before me and him dated, they had an intimate moment where she put her ass on his dick and my boyfriend texted her Last summer about a year into our relationship and he was like “dID ThAT ActUaLly HaPpEn? wAS THAT ReAL” which I find completely horrible to bring that up wheN he’s uhh DATING ME. He used to also make jokes about wanting to fuck his friends. He did this only a few times but he would be like “dang I wanna fuck “insert female friend name” so bad”. He told me a long time ago he thought about all of his female friends sexually before but “not anymore”. Within the last 6 months he has followed lots of egirls that post photos of there asses and tits and I told him he can watch porn but following and posting all these girls on social media makes me feel uncomfortable, but he kept doing it. And he did it 10 times. That’s only when I started counting. He used to literally screenshot these girls, and post them on his story. Even when I told him to stop. He would send me them too sometimes, I don’t know why he would send ME his GIRLFRIWND all these photos of girls with perfect bodies with there ass out like ide be happy about it. He did this so much. He cane to my house and I’m the hidden in his gallery there were photos of egirls doing the aheago face and the same girls I waneyes him to unfollow. His EXUSE was “I didn’t want you to be upset” HOW ABOUT JUSY DOKT SAVE THOSE! We went on break for a little bit because he wanted it and I did it with the illusion it would help him but he just ignored and barely gave me attention for a month to play with his friends on Xbox and I shit you not on break the first thing he did was follow all those girls again. He did this so many times behind my back. It’s like he can’t control himself at the sight of an attractive girl. He finally stopped doing all these things about 4 months ago. He’s been really nice to me, actually QUIT following these accounts but I Just have absolutely no trust. I was never the jealous type of date. But with him I get so overwhelmed, so jealous, so much trust issues. I feel like if a girl temper him he wouldn’t control himself. If someone attractive even tempted him he wouldn’t even resist. I do not trust him. He cried to me giving me apologies and stuff but I just can’t buy it. He doesn’t have any real life friends other then 3 boys but I’m worried I’m the future if a girl comes along he will just easily forget me at the sight of a boob. Should I trust him with a female friend? Like ever?
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2020.09.25 09:31 ThrowawayLego96 Hidden real porn

First of all, apologies since I'm not a native English speaker. Let me introduce myself (24M) call me Jack and my Ex (24F) lets call her Montana. We have a 4mos old baby and we lived those 4mos as if we had everything planned ahead until we would grow old and die. I have a cuckolding kink which I now consider a "curse".
TLDR:
I just made my ex, mother of my child, turn me into a doormat/trash, and realize her deepest desires of who she really wants to be her whole life. That she can be the perfect deviant ORGY, Threesome, Bi slut she never knew she always wanted. And that she can be her own perfect Reddit Porn-star she always wanted to be.

  • THIS IS A REAL GONE WRONG STORY. NOT A FANTASY OR FICTION.
  • This story is split into 2 Parts followed by updates. Pregnancy Horror story, Start of actual Swinging (Cuckolding) gone wrong story Followed by updates.
  • Now before I would put up any victim card here. Please know that i do feel right now like this whole shit storm was because of me. because of my kink.
  • So yeah I would appreciate it if you would call me the asshole first and read this with her being the victim in mind before further proceeding into my story.
  • For those who want to skip on the long ass intro story (Pregnancy Horror story) you can skip forward to the actual Cuckolding gone wrong horror story. It's a few scrolls down.
I want this completely out off of my chest in order for me to deal with the guilt a little bit easier. I wish I never had this kink. I'm expecting this post to be pretty controversial. Made a throwaway account just so I can post this anonymously.
Relationship leading Pregnancy Horror story. November 2018 to May 2020 I have had a history of swinging with my past relationships although it wasn't that completely played out thoroughly as some of you would expect.
That's until i met my recent ex. A little short version of our story pre-cuckold.
Stars aligned one night, i was on my usual weekend shift as a nightlife photographer, saw this girl passed out beside me, nothing out of usual, tapped her to ask whether she was alright, and she woke up grasping all air she could possibly have just to thank me for checking up on her. flirting to dating process then preceded and it was bliss.
Our dating stage was perfect, we had a lot of rough patches but all eventually came to a smooth perfect ride, She was A-OBSESSED with me, i also saw her as the PERFECT woman for me to die with, we just loved each other too much i can't exaggerate this enough. This was also the time i was dropping hints about kinks. Always told her we shouldn't really act out on it since kinks are kinks and are too risky. But yeah, we didn't do anything out of the normal until... Until i got her pregnant.
Little did i know it was just the "calm before the storm stage" because I got her pregnant and she moved in here in the big city with me.
Long story short about the pregnancy, she broke up with me after 2 months of living together. Suddenly Resented me, and pushed me as far away as she can and wanted to establish a "co-parenting" relationship. I begged, I chased, I tried my best to win her back but all of my efforts came short of how she resented me.
I knew in the back of my head that this were all the pregnancy hormones doing the talking so I stayed and remained loyal, that is until she called back for me to comfort her from a heartbreak from a guy she's talking to thousands of miles away. I did my part, and comforted the woman carrying my Son about another Man. This is where I decided to quit the waiting (its been months at this point) and start giving love to myself, I went and decided to engage in dates too myself. Run away but didn't cut off the part where I can allow her to be back to my life.
Lo and behold, 2 months before the scheduled labor, She came back to me, sad, empty and lonely.
I did what i had to do, we had a baby and i still have a lot of feelings for her even without the baby in the picture anyways. Buuuuut there was a catch(?)
I had to accept that during the duration of this breakup she slept around. Yes, slept around while pregnant. Roughly 10 guys on the span of 5 months breakup.
Even when she had the belly. And yes you can imagine all the unimaginable things she's done. Unprotected sex, cum inside, cum swallowing, sex in the car, even showed me a blowjob Video. She knew I had a cuckolding fetish. It was FUCKING hard for me to accept everything she has done, it was hard for me to normalize how she did our pregnancy dirty, but my cuckolding kink made it a bit easier for me to accept this. fyi she was tested clean after all of this.
So hey, guess what? Cuck simp award goes to me. I accepted her back to my life and everything went A-Okay. I learned to just enjoy her pregnancy sexcapades and even enjoyed her videos ALOT, I sort of was growing into it and kept asking for more.
Fast forward after all this drama, It was a no swinging-cuckold talks no fuzz period, Labor came and lets fast forward shall we? lets skip all the happy emotional shit about me being the proudest Dad ever to a beautiful baby boy.
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Start of actual Swinging (Cuckolding) gone wrong story. August 21-September 24. Again, calm were the weather, non-existent were the storms. Perfection, we had a little happy family, I had a part time 9-5, work life balance was bliss. I did my part in the family, I always woke up with her begging me to marry her lol, and sleep with the same vibe. We had have a few talks about cuckolding but it was mostly just me on my side opening things up slowly. She would then always lead the rest of the convincing and is showing me so much positivity towards the kink.
Shortly after we had a mutual discussion that maybe we should start and maybe try out the cuckold kink at last and do it right. In the back of my head it was the perfect setup, this was also because she was also starting to be extremely hypersexual again, too hypersexual to say the least.
"I wanna try and sleep with other guys" She seduced me.
And I thought we can try and meet in between if we would just play out my kink, I did the initial convincing but she lead the rest, sometimes would get drunk and would seduce me that she would sleep want to sleep around and "cuck" me, it was hot, it turned me on too much.
So this is where the Horror story slowly start to creep up.
We looked for our first "bull" and we got engaged into some pretty cool swingers GCs, met some of the most down to earth peeps I have ever talked to.
  • FIRST RED FLAG
She tried, but she really didn't want my eyes on her screen when she's talking to bulls. I ignored this and let this slip by since maybe this was all too new to her. We came to an agreement that I can just re-read the conversations when she is asleep.
  • SECOND RED FLAG
She didn't want me to be involved in the same room with her bulls, I also tried to understand this since i want to give her the comfort and confidence in me that she would need, so we settled for the "solo play with video" setup.
We had a mutual agreement that we would hype each other up before and after the play.
So we found our first potential bull, lets name him bull#1, he was cool, his was Large AF and he vibed with Montana pretty well, After a week of buildup the long awaited First play finally happened and holy shit it was fun, tons of "I love you's" and sweet moment between us hours before meeting bull#1. She sent me screencaps on the videos before she got home followed by so much assurance on how much she loves me and I shouldn't worry that she's taking a while. and holy hell it was intense, all that buildup for us to release it, it was fucking fun on both of our part. She would give me blowjobs and we would have sex all while watching her videos.
She started a reddit account after this and her account never failed to bring out one of the most trendiest post local reddit has seen. I wont say more.
So she had a second play with her bull planned, and things were going on the greener side finally she finally allowed me to have short convos with her bull#1 to keep me involved. The play happened and I couldn't be any happier, the videos were shot better I kid you not, We were extra sweet few days before the play. bull#1 fucked her like there was no tomorrow, I enjoyed every bit of it too like there was no tomorrow. She would come back home and we would have sex and she would cuddle me to heavens, reminding me again on how much she loves me and how much she still want to marry me.
Slowly after this, I started noticing the new third red flag.
  • THIRD RED FLAG
She was getting weirdly close with bull#1, started opening up about personal stories, but she always gave me the assurance that there are no emotions involved, that they see each other as BFFs with sex involved. This red flag manifested wildly, I felt like she talked to her bull more than she would talk to me in a given day. She also started getting irritated every time i showed any signs of jealousy. She started getting slowly hostile towards me.
So after a couple of talks she decided she's going to look for her second bull, i agreed to this so we wouldn't really fixate with bull#1. Fast forward to keep it short, Our third play and first time with bull#2 was a success, though going back to my redflag#2 she never tried to keep me involved, she would say that it would be very awkward for me to talk to bull#2. The play was good though, most largest she has ever experienced in her whole life. There was a few catch like how bull#2 couldn't last long but hey it didn't really matter to us. We still, again, loved each other so much. The reassurances were still there.
"Don't worry Jack, you have absolutely no reason to feel insecure, please trust me"
So I started slowly observing how her swinging/cuckold pronouns started shifting from "We, Us" to just "Me, I". I didn't feel like I was a part of it at all.
I felt that I was just a caretaker, I felt like I was just a baby sitter to our son while she's out there sleeping around.
Then she suddenly, out of the blue, unexpectedly broke up with me.
Yes. She did. We had the biggest fight unimaginable, I couldn't understand why she would breakup with me in the midst of all of this, I was in-denial. The reason? She feels uneasy and she doesn't really know what she wants anymore, all she feels is that she feels miserable when she is with me. The catch? I have to stay living with her otherwise I wouldn't be able to bond with my Son.
I tried to become patient in all of this and waited for us to reconcile again soon, we still lived in the same damn Unit and we had a baby.
The sudden abrupt day came where she had a planned friendly date with bull#1 without sex and we had to fight about that a lot.
And so I gave her a choice, go out on a date with your Bull#1? or lets fix us today.
She went out with her bull#1. At this point we can't really call it swinging-cuckold anymore since we broke up, but it was "cuckold" enough because we still lived together. So it was what it was and she went out on a friendly date with bull#1 that still ended up in a bathtub sex. That day was the worst, lets just summarize it:
I was bitchass drunk crying out to my family at the bathroom not telling them any details, came out and she just showed me and asked me if she can post the bathtub fuck video with bull#1 she edited. Cold hearted.
A few days later she asked if we could try to be swinger partners instead even without the "in a relationship label" so that she can play out another session with bull#2 without me getting all fuzzy. We agreed. She would give me so much reassurance that she still loves me so much.
Fast forward, she asked a second session with bull#2 with a "play pretend status" that she is still in a relationship. We still had to fight about it a lot but she did all the convincing and all the seducing towards me for me to allow her. Guess what? I gave in. Her second "play pretend" sesh with bull#2 happened and she came home without a video, I was alright with it, but there was this growing cold air between us and we never even talked with each other at all.
She started opening up how she is really unhappy with me and how she just wanted to do what "single" people can do because she is technically single.
I made a decision that maybe this is where I decided to move out temporarily (emphasis on it being temporary since i don't want to leave my son) I just had enough, I was having thoughts on taking on my own life but i just couldn't because I had a son with her. This wasn't how I expected everything to play out.
For your information, upon multiple really aggressive arguments, this is the statement that made me decide to take a break and leave temporarily:
"Jack, if you can't take in what's happening, and you feel like you're always hurt, then the only wrong thing you're doing here is staying with me, the door is right there and you can always LEAVE! YOU MADE ME DO THIS AND I JUST GOT ADDICTED, THIS IS YOUR FAULT, AND YOU HAVE TO MAN UP! WE HAVE A CHILD! IF YOU CANT MAN UP JUST LEAVE!!!"
Maybe we needed space for each other to cool down our heads and hopefully she can see my worth on what I brought to the table in our family. I never planned to move out permanently, but her being hostile to me made her decide to gave up our unit we had together to "punish" me for leaving. So now I have nowhere to go, have an Airbnb rented until next week, and might go home to my family after all of this.
And now suddenly her story to everyone is that I was the one that left her alone with the Kid ?!?!?!? That I was the Dad that abandoned her with the Kid?
A few days later we were cooling down, we were starting to do some "talking in a calm but fun way" and she would give me so many assurance that she isn't talking to any guy or flirting with any guy anymore with always the follow up "if that matters to you Jack". "I just want to explore my Bi-curious side and I hope it's okay with you?" I appreciated her still asking my permission and approval and felt like this setup could still work somehow.
We also agreed on the fact that living apart can be the "key" for us to work again, that maybe we impulsively lived together without any preparation. We mentioned couples (swingers and vanilla) we both know that are very successful and are more at ease living apart. So there it goes, everything eased out and we were finally calming down.
At this point her reddit was blowing up because of her kickass contents. And she would get offers after offers, and she did got a 3 girl orgy threesome offer. Which was honestly fine with me, there's something about not having a dick in the picture that just soothed me well. She then never stop to give me so much assurance that she wasn't talking to any guy at the moment anyways. So I was glad were finally meeting in between, she even mentions and shares stories about these three girls and even gave me sneak peeks at their group-chat. We were already living apart this time, cooling down as i saw it.
After a few days living apart I noticed in her IG stories that she goes out, I had a weird gut feeling, to which I asked her and she only replies that she was just casually visiting her sister.
Fast forward, the 3 girl threesome day arrived and she dropped by to drop our Son to my airbnb. I started to always ask her where has she been in her IG stories again to where she replied aggressively "God Jack, just because I wore makeup in my IG story didn't mean I'm doing something crazy, I just went out with my sister yesterday, God Jack what do you think I'm doing? Always sleeping around". I went silent.
I always felt like a baby sitter when she sleeps around yes that's a fact, but this time was an exclusion. She could have left our Son at her family, she was just dropping by our Son to me follow the co-parenting etiquette and she knew how much I missed my Son so dearly.
Anyways moving forward, time was ticking and the 3F threesome is already happening and she was LATE! She was still giving me the usual assurances and would even beg and ask for my comfort since she was scared to go to that threesome, she wanted me to encourage her to go to that threesome and I did.
"I'm scared and thrilled to go, Jack should I go? please tell me, they're sending me F2F videos already I'm so late, maybe i shouldn't just go since I'm under menstruation" She keeps repeating to me.
"Yes, Honestly it's all very fine for me, this feels a lot better since there are no guys involved, and you really wanted to explore this since before right? I support you, Go for it!" I said.
At this point the lines between us being swingers and exes that are cooling off are so blurred. So the threesome happened shortly after, spent the lovely night playing around with my Son. She went home to me in the morning to pick up our son.
We had a few story sharing and finally told me that there was a surprise one guy all along the threesome she even showed me videos, lets call it orgy this time, and that even she claimed she wasn't aware until she got there. I had to repeat the process of accepting and tried my best to not show any sign of pain, and just gave her the support and comfort.
"Hey if you didn't knew all along it is not your fault, but hey good for the guy that showed up, he must be lucky to have you 3 girls damn" I said.
"But hey, it would be great if we can finally plan a date with me involved this time at least at the same room? Maybe this time we can finally work things out since you are now comfortable with having more than one person in the room" I followed up. Cheerfully.
"Yeah, well see, maybe it can work, I don't know yet" She uttered while asking for help for her next NSFW "After play selfie" Reddit post at my Airbnb.
She was sweet with me, we would still kiss around, cuddle with the baby around, and we would flirt with each other in a very sweet and wholesome way.
"Didn't you miss me?" She would always ask. In a sweet upflifting way. While we hugged and cuddled our way around my Airbnb.
"Yes, I did, I always tell you I miss you, I still love you" " But hey do you miss me though?" I replied.
"Maybe" She would tell me back every time I bring the same question
The re-assurance, honesty and comfort and sweetness? It felt good, "hope from the heavens" for a lack of better term. Or so I thought.
So she finally went back to her home to drink with her family. Around the same day I randomly came across a local Gone-wild story that was a hot topic about a foursome here in reddit and I was just fucking damaged, I felt as if my soul left my body and not a single bone of my body would want to stay grounded, I felt all of the pain as I slowly read the story, one of the girls checks out to be her.
I found out that Montana still slept around, and that she had a FUBU with her all the time, the going-out-with-sister-story was actually her sleeping with her FUBU, and the Orgy? it was just 2 girls 2 guys her included, and it was all carefully planned with her knowledge from the VERY BEGINNNING. SHE WAS ONE OF THE ORGANIZERS.
I felt as if I was betrayed, even though I wasn't entitled to know the truth I also felt like I didn't deserve all the false assurances/lies and would be rather slapped with the truth to be honest. I confronted her and had my confirmation since she started blocking me after I sent that story post. I never knew the reason behind the lying, it would have been okay if she just told me the truth, I would have been okay with it really.
She claimed that nothing was wrong with what she did since we were technically broken up and I wasn't entitled to know anything about the truth.
A day later the story post didn't have to hide her anymore, she was the trophy girl and center of the Orgy story with her username tags and all.
So yeah, gut feelings point that her current FUBU is bull#1. Even found his reddit that has one of her videos in it. They're planning more orgies and threesomes together, and I felt as if i just matched the two most perfect NSA swinger couple ever. And I got left out. I still reach out to her every now and then asking if we could still be swinger partners at the very least, i get no replies.
And I know whoever her sexual partners are, I got completely erased out of the picture because of them, and it's not their fault, I have no bone in my body that hate them.
Swinging especially cuckolding is very risky, amidst all the success stories, I think I have be possibly one of the WORST horror story experience ever.
To the cuckold couples that still goes strong after all this years! I Admire you! A setup like that would be a dream. I'm too traumatized at this point to even ever consider swinging ever again.
To the curious cuckolding wannabe couples out there, please. Consider everything first. And take this as a warning sign to really consider if swinging/cuckolding/hotwifing would be your perfect poison. My reflags I mentioned would be good reference during your Journey to have some "pauses" and Re-assessment of your setup. Have constant communication, Swinging/cuckolding/hotwifing is always an "US" not an "I". And please, be mentally stable before engaging in anything this risky and dangerous. Emotions and desires are on the line.
Thanks for reading!
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Sep 25 Update We had another argument just now. And I finally got the answers and closures I needed. I also found out that she will be going to a 4M 4F orgy tomorrow.
She left me because all along, she just could not learn to love me, we weren't just as compatible as we would thought we would be. Those times she was begging me to Marry her was just nothing but just flat out emotional bullshit because she loved our Son too much and I was much so associated with this love. She still loves our Son now, it's just that she learned to separate the love she has for our Son and her love towards me.
The best closure words from her I got was this.
"You really think I left you because of sex? if that would be the case then I wouldn't have left because we were swingers in the first place, SEX WOULDN'T BE THE ISSUE! I left you because I just found out within myself that I really don't love you at all, and I am never happy with you, I want to be able to do these things alone without any pressure, have you ever thought that maybe I am really not sexually attracted to you at all?"
Do I see this as Valid points?
Yes.
Do I think my cuckold kink and everything swinging related played a part in this?
Yes, very much so. I don't think we would have broken up if we didn't open up our relationship. It opened up her deep desires to be a NSA swinger, unicorn and a bi-femme. And apparently she met her perfect FUBU because of this.
Do I still think that my image as a Dad felt very expendable, disposable, replaceable to her?
Unfortunately Yes.
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Sep 27 Update I am under therapy now from all the turmoil this just did. I am experiencing extreme Manic Episode that's triggered by this ongoing trauma. Of course just like any Therapy I had to tell the therapist every detail of my story. Therapist instructed me not to be alone during Montana's big 4M 4F Orgy that should happen.
It did happen yesterday, and yes they are trending everywhere currently again at our local nsfw reddit scene. Woke up to their "teaser" content of the event, Followed by a 5 second video of them actually doing it. Finally upon stalking further, I saw a follow-up local dirtyr4r ad from Montana looking for a constant FUBU (I guess she wasn't content with already having tons of FUBU?) Or maybe Bull#1 turns out to be not really that constant? A few hours later the story got up and it was as expected. Trending. Awards. You name it. Montana was one of the organizers. She was also the most wildest in the story, spitroasts after spitroasts. And bull#2 was her go to partner all this time contrary to my gut feelings pointing to bull#1 initially.
I now consider myself dead inside typing this. Going back, Stars actually lined up and found a NSA date also from reddit to accompany me through the weekend Sep 26-Sep28, and yes lets name her Riley, she's still staying with me currently (asleep) while I'm typing this, and she is doing her best in keeping my mind off of things. But I just have put out my final and last vent out here.
So far when it comes to this post I have a few thoughts for me to process currently.
  1. Silver-lining? I have the most beautiful baby boy ever. This is a win.
  2. I was really the doormat free baby sitter in the picture early on. But I don't think that now. Our last argument had her remind me that she can always leave our Son to her family, She just doesn't want me to miss out on being a Dad. Hard dynamic relationship to swallow but it is what it is.
  3. I should just accept that this is who Montana chooses to be, I was just an early enabler for her to realize what she really wants and who she really wants to be. (I literally have had zero hate towards people who pursue a wild sex-capades and who wants to achieve the highest body count they can tolerate in a short span of time. This is a turn on for me and I admire those people)
  4. I am now starting to believe and validate that I did got played dirty and manipulated hard. And I know this isn't her fault, she never intended it to be. But the true fact in all of this is I can accuse her of being selfish with a total lack of empathy. No one can reason out the fact that she is very indifferent about how every single actions she does slowly shatters me, killing me slowly. Literally and figuratively. And she was never short of feeling indifferent towards my suffering. For her, being self-centered was always the top priority during her recent on-going phase, nothing can stop her, she would lie, hurt, manipulate and step on anyone or anything that should hinder her desires.
  5. She saw me as hindrance to what she actually wants. The cuckolding setup for her was very inconvenient. She was very physically unattracted to me anymore and I realized how everything might have turned out to be a mistake because of how she might have felt forced to partake under my rules. She wanted to be a boss in her own sex-capades and breaking up with me and pushing me away would do so fulfill her desires.
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QA Why does this sound like you never loved her?
I wrote this long ass story with the subject of Sex, Swinging and cuckold at the point of focus. I LOVED her (Emphasis on the past tense) I tried my best for me to keep this short but detailed as much as possible, so I had to skip all the emotional bullshit without failing to at least mention or hint them. My role as a Dad is the most pivotal point in my life and I couldn't think of anything else but to be with my own Son, I love him too much. I am confident that I am the most hands-on Dad I could ever be when we were together.
Again, I did loved her so too much. Too much perhaps. I never failed to make sure that I am/was and will/should be the only one that treated her with so much love and is always confident as hell that she will never get to meet a person that can top me with how much I treated her well and how much I loved her. I can write another 4000 words reddit post describing how much I loved her and I'll be damned not to hesitate on writing that. Just ask for it.
And before you ask because you still didn't get my point, Yes, Now, I am falling out of love.
If she sleeps around this much, are you sure the baby is yours?
First off, before we got the "Positive" pregnancy test, we have been very vanilla and exclusive to each other for the whole year. Her sexual body count was very low to say the least too. She never flirt around and we trusted each other.
Secondly, the baby is the exact carbon copy of me, literally in every way possible.
What's going to happen about the baby?
I have to put this in the QA, The baby is fine, she is handling being a mother really well. My heart goes out every time I miss him. I'll still get to see him twice every month as per our agreement. And I hope this current atmosphere that his parents are doing (me and my ex) will end soon and will remain hidden from him when he grows up. I will stop everything and continue my journey as a Vanilla person as soon as I get things done with Riley at-least once. And I hope Montana does consider having a good atmosphere for our Son. The hopes of me seeing him frequently might go bleak since I'll be leaving the big city temporarily for a few months.
Do I still consider her as a cheater?
Hard question to answer, contrary to the MOST of the past comments from my other posts from other subs and my responses. The safe spot for us is for me to accept that she never really cheated. She has a point. She did try her best to full-fill both our desires. She just grew her selfishness which manifested into lacking empathy and being cold hearted towards me, discarding me like trash I was. She lied and gave me false stories when we were broken up, that wasn't cheating. It is very very hard for me to put a finger anywhere on where she actually cheated.
Would I give up on my swinging/cuckold fantasy for good and let this serve as a lesson?
Maybe, But I will try NSA Semi Swinging, threesomes and orgies with partners that I am not emotionally invested with just to get this out of my system. I have already made plans with Riley.
Cuckolding and hotwifing on the other hand? I think I might give this one up completely out of the table, If I will get the feeling and openness to it again, I might be able to pull it off more smoothly with someone that will be more stable with me. But my mind fixates on a big "NO" right now. I don't want to ever think about it
When she wakes up groggy one day and realize the guilt on how she discarded me like trash and beg me to come back in her life AGAIN, Would I let her?
After accepting her back during the pregnancy Horror story? Biggest NO. I do care for her, that feeling might never leave, I'm just falling out of love now from all the hatred and trauma.
And if reconcilement from her comes AGAIN one day just because we have a child, That would literally mean that I am signing myself up to repeat all this cycle one more time or more until the end of my life being with her. So NO.
There is nothing she can say and convince at this point that would make me trust her again. We will be friends, we will be co-parents, we SHOULD ideally not "hate" each other and hopefully we can respect each other's boundaries.
Should my resentment and hate for her stay?
The fact that she discarded me cold blooded like a trash, treated me like a doormat the whole time? Yes, the HATE and pain overshadows the moments she made me happy by a large margin. The hate will still remain, but just like any breakup-moving-on process, I should just accept instead of resent of what she has become.
How do I feel right now? (Mini Sep 28 update)
It's the morning of September 28 while I'm typing this and I just had an MFM Spitroast threesome with Riley and her FUBU, it was fun. Story I will write someday here on reddit. Me and Riley have a chemistry, upon countless of good times spending the weekend with her, she reminded me of how there is more to life. I feel a warm feeling inside me after being cold, empty and suicidal for the whole week. This plus I got the validation and that feeling of being Human again. I also felt a sense of value since I felt some of my past partners (vanilla) giving me passive attention and reaching out to me ever since they sensed the break-up.
How am I planning to move on?
This should embark my journey in blocking everything related to her in reddit. She is turning out to be A-mazing at what she's doing believe me! And I do believe that my story won't even lay even the tiniest scratch on her alter-rep if some people here picks up a clue to who she is. What happened happened. It is out of my control and I just have to carry on and move forward. I have to accept things, it will be a process.

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2020.09.21 22:45 fractalfay Hidden real porn

After 24 hours as a pudding cannon and pill dispenser, Eric is in awe of himself and his untapped nurturing abilities. Larissa is a total vegetable, and Eric says it’s like having a kid, if parenthood has a 24 hour expiration date, and your child is made of plastic. He’s flirting with making airplane noises as he coaxes Larissa to “open” and consume another 25 calories of goo.
Eric is behind in the quotable quotes department, and realizes he’s running out of episodes to make that happen. So he tosses this salad: “Time without sex gives me more time to get prepared. For what? Well, it doesn’t involve plastic sheeting. It’s been 24 hours. She’s not recovering as quickly as I thought. But I’m not gonna stop when I’m in the middle of the danger zone. I’m gonna take it right into the danger zone.” Thank you Goose, that was outstanding.
He’s crying because Larissa truly is a mess, and he takes her back to the doctor’s office. Dr. Tit-Punch is exactly that, and he comes in like a jolly ginger cowboy checking in on that steer he just branded. He asks about pain, because the more she hurts the more his powers grow, and Larissa confirms it’s happening. Then he reminds Larissa that they hurt a lot because she went for a large size, and they’re under the muscle; he, of course, recommended a small size, but did she listen? Noooooo. Go home, Dr. Feelbad. Larissa can’t move her face at all while she pretends to laugh at her own expense. The doc then adds that he shrunk her areoles from their former silver dollar size to the size of a quarter, and I demand a better descriptor, since this Sacajawea dollar is very nearly a quarter, THANKS.
Fast forward a few weeks, and Larissa and Eric meet up with some of Larissa’s friends for a face and tit and weave reveal, as one does. Eric thinks all of this plastic surgery and bottomless pain killer prescriptions is strengthening their bond, so long as he doesn’t have to be her “sea-na” again (certified nurse’s assistant) again. This duo happily reports Eric’s recovery woes, that they’re still not having enough sex, and that they’ve moved a second bed into Eric’s bedroom, so they sleep like the camp scene in Parent Trap. Larissa’s friends think this is weird, but so is perpetually disappearing to play volleyball, and Paul’s entire existence, so yeah, on this show and in reality, this two beds thing ain’t shit. Larissa’s nose looks okay, even if one nostril seems bigger than the other, and her tits are standing at attention, threatening to escape the strips of fabric she used to bandaid her nipples. If she’s getting titties, she’s doing em justice goddammit, and is raising a flag with those cannons. I think she’s ready to be American.
Angela is beside herself with the news that her mother is in the ICU, and she’s quickly packing up before heading to the airport to be at her mother’s bedside. She’s afraid her mom will never meet him, and that she’ll arrive too late to say goodbye.
“Maybe it’s my fault,” Angela says, blaming herself for something she can’t control, like people with too much responsibility everywhere. Her grief and sense of panic is a reminder of Angela’s special place on this show, and the real person lurking underneath her brash and ridiculous façade. Human Angela is a thousand times more interesting than white trash caricature Angela. More of this, please.
Michael is in tears over her upcoming departure, but knows he has to be strong for her, because she needs to help her mom. He sees her off at the airport, and they call each other husband and wife. Angela wants Michael in the US of A, where he can support her in person, and it seems like she’s speaking for a lot of couples here.
After her plane lands, Angela fumbles with her luggage and heads directly to the hospital, knowing that she’ll have to crack some jokes as a greeting, because that’s how her mother knows her. As she heads through the hospital doors, she hopes to at least get to hold her mother’s hand and tell her she loves her before she fades.
90DF catches up with her two weeks later, and we learn that Grandma hung on for 10 more days, and Angela got to say goodbye. Angela and Skyla sit down to talk about it, and Skyla starts bobbing her foot the way Angela does when she’s trying not to cry, and reports that when she was at Grandma’s bedside, Grandma soothed her by saying, “Well, I’ve got to go to heaven sometime.” This is a perfect epitaph.
Angela seems softer, and she says Michael has been great over the phone, but she just wants her husband at her side. Then the grandkids ask if they can watch youtube, and Angela says fine, so long as they don’t land on that dude with Doritos dust still in his beard talking about green beams from California. She calls Michael, and starts smoking so he’ll recognize her. During this call Michael says that it could be up to 18 months before he’ll arrive in the USA on a spousal visa, and Angela wonders if all of this is too hard. Michael knows his role by now, and he says it’s not too hard, and they can do it — they just need to be more stubborn than the immigration office.
I’ve said it before, and it seems worth repeating: Angela’s tantrums are all an act, because these two are way too relaxed around each other for a pair in a consistently abusive relationship, and Michael is never surprised by her outbursts; they seem to know how they’ve been branded by producers, and work to color within the lines. In situations where people normally go to pieces, they are both instantly adults, navigating complex decisions and supporting each other practically and emotionally. They’ll be back.
Kalani and Asuelu are loading the family up to wave off the pirate ship that brought Asuelu’s family to shore. Kalani is calling Kennedy Freddy, and now I’m confused. They hope to get through a few sentences without a money grab, and things look promising when Rosa signs that it was good to see all of them, and Oliver and Kennedy make more effort to sign to her than anyone else thus far. Why didn’t we get more Rosa? Her signing with the kids would have been totally charming. Why does 90DF always drop us in the most predictable dark waters, and edit anything relatable out?
Just as they’re starting to relax, Mom asks for money again, and announces that she’s joking seconds before Kalani detonates. Asuelu says it’s too soon for that joke, and as they leave Mom reminds both of them to take care of the kids repeatedly, because Asuelu sometimes forgets.
“Bye my room, thank you for everything,” Mom shouts as they leave.
“Stop talking to me,” the room retorts.
Theory: I think Asuelu gave her more money when he went to visit her alone, and that’s the real reason she shut up about it. Just putting that out there.
Back in Utah, Kalani and Asuelu go to dinner, and cheers three times, and the bartenders need to stop being dicks and bring this woman an adult’s drink. Maybe I’ve been in Portland too long, but if I surrender $7.00 and get a Diixie cup of liquor and not a mason jar spilling over the sides, there had better be bottomless refills.
Anyway, since these two have nothing to talk about and Kalani is increasingly unsuccessful in veiling her contempt, Kalani asks the waiter for paper and pens so they can play Tic-Tac-Toe and a new game Kalani invented called Dreaming Myself Elsewhere. She suggests they do their homework assignment from the therapist, who they apparently went to see exactly once, because they’re doing that who-does-what list mentioned a few episodes ago. Afterwards Asuelu collects the papers and declares he’s going to grade himself. Dude, you need to swap papers with your neighbor. Do you even junior high, bro?
Anyway, Asuelu awards himself Perfect Attendance, and Kalani says hers looks like Honor Roll, but he can copy off her paper. Asuelu isolates his apple-raking meditation as one of his weekly responsibilities, lest the lawn be reduced to sauce. If he sugars the whole thing, he’ll be inching towards compote. I mean, think of the ants.
“Apples being raked does nothing for me,” Lady Kalani declares, as she nibbles just a corner of a truffle, and demands just a touch more wine.
“You are the pineapple of my life,” Asuelu JarJars, chawing on the ankle of a surfboard.
For the record, unfair allotment of domestic duties is one of the leading causes of divorce, and the #2 cause of a screaming match I may or may not have participated in seven years ago that included the phrase, “Go die.” #1 would be money, which also isn’t looking so good for Team Kasuelu, even if citizenship grants them double the 90DF dimes.
Later on, COVID-19 is becoming a Korean horror movie subplot, and Kalani is going to pass on the role of Woman Who Dies First. Asuelu’s been playing volleyball, which has to be code for drugs or porn or a massage with a happy ending, because I can’t. We know from his response to measles that he doesn’t think disease actually exists, so these unmasked, socially-intimate sweat exchanges could bring The Rona into their home. Kalani’s retort is to buy him a one-way ticket to Washington, aka the first state to suffer a major outbreak. This is the most Shakespearean thing to ever happen to this show. This is the most Game of Thrones thing to happen on this show.
“I know,” Kalani says, running her finger along the lip of a wine glass until it sings. “Quarantine is oddly freeing, isn’t it? Perhaps you’d enjoy another scene of me putting on makeup? I can also comb my mermaid hair from this clamshell.”
Kalani’s savage death sentence comes riding in on the back of the fucks she has left to give about his hidden “volleyball” agenda. AND THIS IS THE MOST SHAKESPEARE MOMENT OF ALL: She sentences him to several months with his mom, a senior citizen he’ll warmly embrace, germ flowing, right off an airplane.
“She sent him right into the danger zone,” Eric is in awe.
I see you, Kalani. I know you’re Cobra Kai. Strike fast, strike hard, no mercy. Sweep the leg. (Insert appropriate hand signal acknowledging mutual membership.)
Mother Kalani aka Lisa sits down to talk to Kalani, showing off her own waterfall of dark curls, used to thwart advancing man-babies and summon larger drinks. They sit underneath a sign that reads, “we decided on forever” without a hint of irony, and this is the greatest thing ever, and a warning not to put words on your wall unless you’re okay with their curse. After they talk for awhile Lisa starts crying, because her daughter is unhappy and Asuelu let her down.
“Can we just focus on how cute the children are and how sexy my husband is instead of Asuelu?” Lisa makes a solid argument. “Kalani was supposed to get a Brandon, and somehow she got a Steve. A Steve. You know who wants a Steve? Nobody.”
Speaking of needing help, Syngin is running out of reasons to return stateside with Tania, but thinks he can still feign confusion for a few more scenes. “How’s this face? That’s my confused face. Wait, I have another one. This is startled. I know, right? Range,” Syngin is prepared.
He sits down with his family, and they want to know if he has any actual desire to return to CT. His moms tells him he’s “wasting your journey,” unless he wants to travel with excess baggage. After several minutes of resigned conversation, he loses hope that one among them will demand a kidney or ask him to stick around the carry the groceries, so he remains stuck toting Tania across the tarmac.
“I could tote her,” Angela is ready. “I just need ya egg.”
It’s their last day in South Africa, and Syngin is getting ice cream with the person he’s about to be trapped on a plane with. Tania thinks that Syngin lied about his plans for the future, and time-out, Tania lied, too. She said they could live anywhere in the US, and the minute his plane landed she was waxing poetic about her own childhood and how she wants to raise her children in CT, thus rendering them both prisoners of a snowy state for upwards of 18 years. Tania says their relationship is all that maters, because she’s never gonna get a baby if something else does. For his part, Syngin decides he wants to be a coder, a fireman, a detective police officer but not a regular one, a boy band guitarist, and a meadow, because he doesn’t like to limit himself.
Colt has to break the news to his mom that he’s technically an adult, but not before he demonstrates that he doesn’t know how to cut a cat’s nails. His dieting strategy is surrounding himself with food he doesn’t want to eat, so he celebrates the delivery of vegan mac and cheese. Colt tries to get Debbie to arrange her mouth around this foreign sounding word, “vegan” and she recognizes it as the flirting he clearly intended it to be.
Debbie presses for the deets on why he seems down, and he says that after a lifetime of blaming the women in his life for his failed relationships, he’s ready to blame Debbie, too. Never mind that the common denominator in all of these relationships is the guy who doesn’t cook his own food or make his own bed, but lets not burden ourselves with details. Debbie still insists that Jess was using Colt for a green card, and that she has to meddle because the minute she steps away, he’s ordering dairy-rich foods without the dairy. Still, Colt feels like he doesn’t have the kind of privacy normally afforded a reality star. Colt mimes more son feelings, and asks his mom to hold his hand like a Lifetime movie. Debbie is not having it, because she’s seen that movie, and knows this is the scene where the mother’s role in the plot expires.
“I’d like to see him make his own bed, wash his own clothes, give himself a sponge bath,” Debbie scoffs. “No one lights a pumpkin spice Yankee candle the way I do. No one alphabetized the Cornish cookware like me. He might think he can handle a Pyrex dish, but think again.”
“I don’t know what any of those things are, but I want to be treated like a man,” Colt asserts. “Not because I act like one, but because I say it. ”
Speaking of not-a-man, Charlie is trying to form talking words with his chicken nugget brain, but he’s already double-dipped in Ranch. Andrei drags him outside, and since we’ve endured endless teasing of coming fisticuffs, nothing happens. Charlie drunkenly issues macho challenges, and Andrei says they’re not going to figure it out tonight. He tells Charlie to remember his sister, and her happiness, and they can go inside and worry about it later.
“Yes, the wedding was $30K, okay,” Andrei reports. “That was Charlie’s college fund, which will clearly not be needed.”
Somebody call 9-1-1, because Libby and Andrei’s Moldovan wedding is on fire! No one has puzzled out how to muzzle and duct tape the drunk guy yet, which means the groomsmen and bridesmaids are fired. Charlie sways around and says that Andrei is “soft” because he didn’t punch his wife’s brother at their wedding do-over, which is the sort of thing you think when a moment of not being the center of attention is enough to cause you to crumble. Chuck still wades around in Charlie’s bullshit, unwilling or unable to tell him to go the fuck home, insisting that he “did it for my daughter, not for Andrei.” Marcel tries to earn his place back on the groom team by telling Charlie to STFU, and DUI Jen works to make it worse by emphasizing that Andrei is still a bad guy, they should just should pause the theatrics for Libby. Nothing is going to stop this drunken tantrum, and he tells Chuck, “They’re already married, and you’re still paying for their shit. You have seven kids. I’m not taking a pay cut for this dude.”
“You can’t talk to Jesus when you’re drunk,” Thank you, Akinyi.
Libby doesn’t want to be left out of rerouting this public display of douchebag into Andrei’s fault. “Why is he so mad?” She demands. “What did you say to him?” Libby, drunk people aren’t logical. There isn’t a cause and effect happening.
Andrei takes Chuck aside, and asks him to handle his son, for America. This approach makes Chuck defensive, so Andrei reels it back, and apologizes for his part in their tense relationship. He says that he genuinely wants things to be better, especially now that children are involved, and says, “For the sake of my daughter, and your daughter, make peace.” Whoa, what’s adulthood doing here? Chuck seems moved by the sudden appearance of sincerity, especially when Andrei doubles down on acknowledging his contribution to this mess, and they agree to meet each other half way…until Chuck steps to the left for his interview, which allows another opportunity to say he doesn’t know about Andrei. Did he get a $5 bonus every time he trotted out this line?
Libby is still worried that Andrei and her family will never get along, and finds a way to hector Andrei about the importance of getting along with her fam all over again, and I can’t help but wish she’d take that tone with the other toxic people in her life.
“I made peace with you father,” Andrei says in his own defense. “Me and your dad buried the hatchet. Your sister and brother, they are assholes. Yes, I am the one who has said it. Look on Reddit, there is much agreement with me.”
Libby is drained, and just wants to enjoy the rest of her wedding, and Andrei is sweet to her, and these two are tolerable for a hot minute. Exactly one hot minute.
“There’s a broke bum over there named Charlie,” says a broke bum over there named Andrei. “What? You think peacefulness would last?”
Next week, it’s tell-all time! Angela wears her face mask so the internets don’t give her the ‘rona, Tania and Syngin show off that pre or post divorce glow, Kalani is pleased to report Asuelu isn’t there, DUI Jen and Charlie chuck grenades in glass houses, Colt is feeling himself, Angela threatens to beat Tammy’s ass because she can out Jerry Springer anyone, and Shaun eagerly demonstrates that she enjoys the smell of social distancing, and is also Cobra Kai. Make em bleed, Shaun. Make em bleed.
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2020.09.21 22:42 fractalfay Apples being raked does nothing for me: Recap of 90DF Happily Ever After? S05E15

After 24 hours as a pudding cannon and pill dispenser, Eric is in awe of himself and his untapped nurturing abilities. Larissa is a total vegetable, and Eric says it’s like having a kid, if parenthood has a 24 hour expiration date, and your child is made of plastic. He’s flirting with making airplane noises as he coaxes Larissa to “open” and consume another 25 calories of goo.
Eric is behind in the quotable quotes department, and realizes he’s running out of episodes to make that happen. So he tosses this salad: “Time without sex gives me more time to get prepared. For what? Well, it doesn’t involve plastic sheeting. It’s been 24 hours. She’s not recovering as quickly as I thought. But I’m not gonna stop when I’m in the middle of the danger zone. I’m gonna take it right into the danger zone.” Thank you Goose, that was outstanding.
He’s crying because Larissa truly is a mess, and he takes her back to the doctor’s office. Dr. Tit-Punch is exactly that, and he comes in like a jolly ginger cowboy checking in on that steer he just branded. He asks about pain, because the more she hurts the more his powers grow, and Larissa confirms it’s happening. Then he reminds Larissa that they hurt a lot because she went for a large size, and they’re under the muscle; he, of course, recommended a small size, but did she listen? Noooooo. Go home, Dr. Feelbad. Larissa can’t move her face at all while she pretends to laugh at her own expense. The doc then adds that he shrunk her areoles from their former silver dollar size to the size of a quarter, and I demand a better descriptor, since this Sacajawea dollar is very nearly a quarter, THANKS.
Fast forward a few weeks, and Larissa and Eric meet up with some of Larissa’s friends for a face and tit and weave reveal, as one does. Eric thinks all of this plastic surgery and bottomless pain killer prescriptions is strengthening their bond, so long as he doesn’t have to be her “sea-na” again (certified nurse’s assistant) again. This duo happily reports Eric’s recovery woes, that they’re still not having enough sex, and that they’ve moved a second bed into Eric’s bedroom, so they sleep like the camp scene in Parent Trap. Larissa’s friends think this is weird, but so is perpetually disappearing to play volleyball, and Paul’s entire existence, so yeah, on this show and in reality, this two beds thing ain’t shit. Larissa’s nose looks okay, even if one nostril seems bigger than the other, and her tits are standing at attention, threatening to escape the strips of fabric she used to bandaid her nipples. If she’s getting titties, she’s doing em justice goddammit, and is raising a flag with those cannons. I think she’s ready to be American.
Angela is beside herself with the news that her mother is in the ICU, and she’s quickly packing up before heading to the airport to be at her mother’s bedside. She’s afraid her mom will never meet him, and that she’ll arrive too late to say goodbye.
“Maybe it’s my fault,” Angela says, blaming herself for something she can’t control, like people with too much responsibility everywhere. Her grief and sense of panic is a reminder of Angela’s special place on this show, and the real person lurking underneath her brash and ridiculous façade. Human Angela is a thousand times more interesting than white trash caricature Angela. More of this, please.
Michael is in tears over her upcoming departure, but knows he has to be strong for her, because she needs to help her mom. He sees her off at the airport, and they call each other husband and wife. Angela wants Michael in the US of A, where he can support her in person, and it seems like she’s speaking for a lot of couples here.
After her plane lands, Angela fumbles with her luggage and heads directly to the hospital, knowing that she’ll have to crack some jokes as a greeting, because that’s how her mother knows her. As she heads through the hospital doors, she hopes to at least get to hold her mother’s hand and tell her she loves her before she fades.
90DF catches up with her two weeks later, and we learn that Grandma hung on for 10 more days, and Angela got to say goodbye. Angela and Skyla sit down to talk about it, and Skyla starts bobbing her foot the way Angela does when she’s trying not to cry, and reports that when she was at Grandma’s bedside, Grandma soothed her by saying, “Well, I’ve got to go to heaven sometime.” This is a perfect epitaph.
Angela seems softer, and she says Michael has been great over the phone, but she just wants her husband at her side. Then the grandkids ask if they can watch youtube, and Angela says fine, so long as they don’t land on that dude with Doritos dust still in his beard talking about green beams from California. She calls Michael, and starts smoking so he’ll recognize her. During this call Michael says that it could be up to 18 months before he’ll arrive in the USA on a spousal visa, and Angela wonders if all of this is too hard. Michael knows his role by now, and he says it’s not too hard, and they can do it — they just need to be more stubborn than the immigration office.
I’ve said it before, and it seems worth repeating: Angela’s tantrums are all an act, because these two are way too relaxed around each other for a pair in a consistently abusive relationship, and Michael is never surprised by her outbursts; they seem to know how they’ve been branded by producers, and work to color within the lines. In situations where people normally go to pieces, they are both instantly adults, navigating complex decisions and supporting each other practically and emotionally. They’ll be back.
Kalani and Asuelu are loading the family up to wave off the pirate ship that brought Asuelu’s family to shore. Kalani is calling Kennedy Freddy, and now I’m confused. They hope to get through a few sentences without a money grab, and things look promising when Rosa signs that it was good to see all of them, and Oliver and Kennedy make more effort to sign to her than anyone else thus far. Why didn’t we get more Rosa? Her signing with the kids would have been totally charming. Why does 90DF always drop us in the most predictable dark waters, and edit anything relatable out?
Just as they’re starting to relax, Mom asks for money again, and announces that she’s joking seconds before Kalani detonates. Asuelu says it’s too soon for that joke, and as they leave Mom reminds both of them to take care of the kids repeatedly, because Asuelu sometimes forgets.
“Bye my room, thank you for everything,” Mom shouts as they leave.
“Stop talking to me,” the room retorts.
Theory: I think Asuelu gave her more money when he went to visit her alone, and that’s the real reason she shut up about it. Just putting that out there.
Back in Utah, Kalani and Asuelu go to dinner, and cheers three times, and the bartenders need to stop being dicks and bring this woman an adult’s drink. Maybe I’ve been in Portland too long, but if I surrender $7.00 and get a Diixie cup of liquor and not a mason jar spilling over the sides, there had better be bottomless refills.
Anyway, since these two have nothing to talk about and Kalani is increasingly unsuccessful in veiling her contempt, Kalani asks the waiter for paper and pens so they can play Tic-Tac-Toe and a new game Kalani invented called Dreaming Myself Elsewhere. She suggests they do their homework assignment from the therapist, who they apparently went to see exactly once, because they’re doing that who-does-what list mentioned a few episodes ago. Afterwards Asuelu collects the papers and declares he’s going to grade himself. Dude, you need to swap papers with your neighbor. Do you even junior high, bro?
Anyway, Asuelu awards himself Perfect Attendance, and Kalani says hers looks like Honor Roll, but he can copy off her paper. Asuelu isolates his apple-raking meditation as one of his weekly responsibilities, lest the lawn be reduced to sauce. If he sugars the whole thing, he’ll be inching towards compote. I mean, think of the ants.
“Apples being raked does nothing for me,” Lady Kalani declares, as she nibbles just a corner of a truffle, and demands just a touch more wine.
“You are the pineapple of my life,” Asuelu JarJars, chawing on the ankle of a surfboard.
For the record, unfair allotment of domestic duties is one of the leading causes of divorce, and the #2 cause of a screaming match I may or may not have participated in seven years ago that included the phrase, “Go die.” #1 would be money, which also isn’t looking so good for Team Kasuelu, even if citizenship grants them double the 90DF dimes.
Later on, COVID-19 is becoming a Korean horror movie subplot, and Kalani is going to pass on the role of Woman Who Dies First. Asuelu’s been playing volleyball, which has to be code for drugs or porn or a massage with a happy ending, because I can’t. We know from his response to measles that he doesn’t think disease actually exists, so these unmasked, socially-intimate sweat exchanges could bring The Rona into their home. Kalani’s retort is to buy him a one-way ticket to Washington, aka the first state to suffer a major outbreak. This is the most Shakespearean thing to ever happen to this show. This is the most Game of Thrones thing to happen on this show.
“I know,” Kalani says, running her finger along the lip of a wine glass until it sings. “Quarantine is oddly freeing, isn’t it? Perhaps you’d enjoy another scene of me putting on makeup? I can also comb my mermaid hair from this clamshell.”
Kalani’s savage death sentence comes riding in on the back of the fucks she has left to give about his hidden “volleyball” agenda. AND THIS IS THE MOST SHAKESPEARE MOMENT OF ALL: She sentences him to several months with his mom, a senior citizen he’ll warmly embrace, germ flowing, right off an airplane.
“She sent him right into the danger zone,” Eric is in awe.
I see you, Kalani. I know you’re Cobra Kai. Strike fast, strike hard, no mercy. Sweep the leg. (Insert appropriate hand signal acknowledging mutual membership.)
Mother Kalani aka Lisa sits down to talk to Kalani, showing off her own waterfall of dark curls, used to thwart advancing man-babies and summon larger drinks. They sit underneath a sign that reads, “we decided on forever” without a hint of irony, and this is the greatest thing ever, and a warning not to put words on your wall unless you’re okay with their curse. After they talk for awhile Lisa starts crying, because her daughter is unhappy and Asuelu let her down.
“Can we just focus on how cute the children are and how sexy my husband is instead of Asuelu?” Lisa makes a solid argument. “Kalani was supposed to get a Brandon, and somehow she got a Steve. A Steve. You know who wants a Steve? Nobody.”
Speaking of needing help, Syngin is running out of reasons to return stateside with Tania, but thinks he can still feign confusion for a few more scenes. “How’s this face? That’s my confused face. Wait, I have another one. This is startled. I know, right? Range,” Syngin is prepared.
He sits down with his family, and they want to know if he has any actual desire to return to CT. His moms tells him he’s “wasting your journey,” unless he wants to travel with excess baggage. After several minutes of resigned conversation, he loses hope that one among them will demand a kidney or ask him to stick around the carry the groceries, so he remains stuck toting Tania across the tarmac.
“I could tote her,” Angela is ready. “I just need ya egg.”
It’s their last day in South Africa, and Syngin is getting ice cream with the person he’s about to be trapped on a plane with. Tania thinks that Syngin lied about his plans for the future, and time-out, Tania lied, too. She said they could live anywhere in the US, and the minute his plane landed she was waxing poetic about her own childhood and how she wants to raise her children in CT, thus rendering them both prisoners of a snowy state for upwards of 18 years. Tania says their relationship is all that maters, because she’s never gonna get a baby if something else does. For his part, Syngin decides he wants to be a coder, a fireman, a detective police officer but not a regular one, a boy band guitarist, and a meadow, because he doesn’t like to limit himself.
Colt has to break the news to his mom that he’s technically an adult, but not before he demonstrates that he doesn’t know how to cut a cat’s nails. His dieting strategy is surrounding himself with food he doesn’t want to eat, so he celebrates the delivery of vegan mac and cheese. Colt tries to get Debbie to arrange her mouth around this foreign sounding word, “vegan” and she recognizes it as the flirting he clearly intended it to be.
Debbie presses for the deets on why he seems down, and he says that after a lifetime of blaming the women in his life for his failed relationships, he’s ready to blame Debbie, too. Never mind that the common denominator in all of these relationships is the guy who doesn’t cook his own food or make his own bed, but lets not burden ourselves with details. Debbie still insists that Jess was using Colt for a green card, and that she has to meddle because the minute she steps away, he’s ordering dairy-rich foods without the dairy. Still, Colt feels like he doesn’t have the kind of privacy normally afforded a reality star. Colt mimes more son feelings, and asks his mom to hold his hand like a Lifetime movie. Debbie is not having it, because she’s seen that movie, and knows this is the scene where the mother’s role in the plot expires.
“I’d like to see him make his own bed, wash his own clothes, give himself a sponge bath,” Debbie scoffs. “No one lights a pumpkin spice Yankee candle the way I do. No one alphabetized the Cornish cookware like me. He might think he can handle a Pyrex dish, but think again.”
“I don’t know what any of those things are, but I want to be treated like a man,” Colt asserts. “Not because I act like one, but because I say it. ”
Speaking of not-a-man, Charlie is trying to form talking words with his chicken nugget brain, but he’s already double-dipped in Ranch. Andrei drags him outside, and since we’ve endured endless teasing of coming fisticuffs, nothing happens. Charlie drunkenly issues macho challenges, and Andrei says they’re not going to figure it out tonight. He tells Charlie to remember his sister, and her happiness, and they can go inside and worry about it later.
“Yes, the wedding was $30K, okay,” Andrei reports. “That was Charlie’s college fund, which will clearly not be needed.”
Somebody call 9-1-1, because Libby and Andrei’s Moldovan wedding is on fire! No one has puzzled out how to muzzle and duct tape the drunk guy yet, which means the groomsmen and bridesmaids are fired. Charlie sways around and says that Andrei is “soft” because he didn’t punch his wife’s brother at their wedding do-over, which is the sort of thing you think when a moment of not being the center of attention is enough to cause you to crumble. Chuck still wades around in Charlie’s bullshit, unwilling or unable to tell him to go the fuck home, insisting that he “did it for my daughter, not for Andrei.” Marcel tries to earn his place back on the groom team by telling Charlie to STFU, and DUI Jen works to make it worse by emphasizing that Andrei is still a bad guy, they should just should pause the theatrics for Libby. Nothing is going to stop this drunken tantrum, and he tells Chuck, “They’re already married, and you’re still paying for their shit. You have seven kids. I’m not taking a pay cut for this dude.”
“You can’t talk to Jesus when you’re drunk,” Thank you, Akinyi.
Libby doesn’t want to be left out of rerouting this public display of douchebag into Andrei’s fault. “Why is he so mad?” She demands. “What did you say to him?” Libby, drunk people aren’t logical. There isn’t a cause and effect happening.
Andrei takes Chuck aside, and asks him to handle his son, for America. This approach makes Chuck defensive, so Andrei reels it back, and apologizes for his part in their tense relationship. He says that he genuinely wants things to be better, especially now that children are involved, and says, “For the sake of my daughter, and your daughter, make peace.” Whoa, what’s adulthood doing here? Chuck seems moved by the sudden appearance of sincerity, especially when Andrei doubles down on acknowledging his contribution to this mess, and they agree to meet each other half way…until Chuck steps to the left for his interview, which allows another opportunity to say he doesn’t know about Andrei. Did he get a $5 bonus every time he trotted out this line?
Libby is still worried that Andrei and her family will never get along, and finds a way to hector Andrei about the importance of getting along with her fam all over again, and I can’t help but wish she’d take that tone with the other toxic people in her life.
“I made peace with you father,” Andrei says in his own defense. “Me and your dad buried the hatchet. Your sister and brother, they are assholes. Yes, I am the one who has said it. Look on Reddit, there is much agreement with me.”
Libby is drained, and just wants to enjoy the rest of her wedding, and Andrei is sweet to her, and these two are tolerable for a hot minute. Exactly one hot minute.
“There’s a broke bum over there named Charlie,” says a broke bum over there named Andrei. “What? You think peacefulness would last?”
Next week, it’s tell-all time! Angela wears her face mask so the internets don’t give her the ‘rona, Tania and Syngin show off that pre or post divorce glow, Kalani is pleased to report Asuelu isn’t there, DUI Jen and Charlie chuck grenades in glass houses, Colt is feeling himself, Angela threatens to beat Tammy’s ass because she can out Jerry Springer anyone, and Shaun eagerly demonstrates that she enjoys the smell of social distancing, and is also Cobra Kai. Make em bleed, Shaun. Make em bleed.
Thank you, Patreon supporters!
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2020.09.21 17:25 Meda21Sepl Real hidden porn

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2020.09.21 10:58 Bummed-out-Bum Hidden real porn

It’s finally sinking in like a horrible ship wreck that she just loathes me and has no respect for me at all... yeah drugs ruined this year for me and I’m paying for it big time with a check my ass can’t cash. Over the year I’ve been noticing little things here and there that she’s not the girl I thought she was like finding out she was doing amateur porn behind my back and talking to all kinds of other guys, she denied it at first for a week or two and gave me hell for even thinking she could do stuff like that but then it became too obvious to deny and she finally admitted it saying she was embarrassed to tell me and that’s understandable but honestly if it’s just business I have no problem as long as nothing romantic with others we’re involved, I actually think it’s hot and if you got it flaunt it... easy money. She swears she doesn’t perform any sexual acts though and never cheats but I keep seeing craiglist ads that she saved that say otherwise but she said those aren’t hers? So I left it alone but still kept getting weird stuff sent or stumbled on other things like audio recordings of her making sexual noises with other guys that obviously aren’t me dubbed over with other recording of me and her talking at the same time also I get little edited videos that show sexual acts being performed but blurred out or cropped so you can’t tell exactly who it is but I can tell after being with her for this long and then I keep getting “hidden messages” graffitied onto EVERYTHING clothes wrappers floors walls clothes and all that saying fucked up stuff about how I’m horrible at sex and she likes other guys better and all kinds of mind fucking stuff that there’s too much to list... she says it’s all in my head while giving me shitty attitude and kind of laughing inside about it and then never tries to comfort or help make anything stop she just starts more drama with me over it and I just don’t get it I can never be upset because she just gets mad at me for even thinking anything bad about her period and she always avoids me at night and there’s random calls and texts from 1-800 numbers that just don’t make since when the businesses are closed during night hours... so ya, this whole situation is fucked and she says it’s because I’m on drugs which yeah I am but this ain’t my first rodeo with drugs and I’ve never had any of these problems with any other girl on them... so I’m realizing that I’m dealing with a narcissist that can be totally evil with no remorse and I can’t catch her red handed just breadcrumbs of evidence here and there and it fucking sucks because I love her more than anything and just want my pretty lady back that I fell for... but if What I’m noticing is real and these are her true colors than they are fucking disgusting...
Fuck My Life
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2020.09.20 12:13 Yvyk_ Hidden real porn

I never find a motive to even post something has this online, either anonymously or not. But I just wrote that first sentence, though.

  • Disclaimer: I had a little hard time bringing it words.
The only things I do around my life with meaning is please people i know and some strangers. I even feel I’m just pleasing the need of me being alive, one more day. (Mainly because of my parents)
The reason I do it, is because I feel so selfish and hypocrite, to suddenly start living my life in my terms, which I just do it when I write notes in my phone or my diaries but, outside when I have to really live I have to be what everyone have always expected from me (obviously that’s in my head).
I am (M22) and live with few siblings and a parent. My dad lives alone and is really kind of old school and the other a bit more open mind.
I’ve never felt “just a male” since I was a kid. Obviously, feelings from that time are immature and I started doubting if that was a real take.. plus, my parents spotted me when I was a kid, and they told me: “Boys don’t do that.” I have obeyed 'till this day, but still lived in me and I tried to live it whenever I had the chance and no one looking so I could be free of doing what I like.
I am 22 years old, I’ve always been attracted to “people” but, I just have done what my family normally expect from me and is to just be attracted to “women”; I've build muscle from my teenage years; I had sex for the first time with a girl by seducing her in a “manly fuck boy” way; I have been forcing my body language to look “like a man” even in my stance; dance like a “man”; accidentally developing internal misogyny; being cold and unexpressive “just like man”; etc..
Everyday, since I grew up and started choosing my own clothing, my career, my decisions I have done it to please those ones like my family. So I build this “man” character so no one has to “try to figure me out” and some nice people from my family probably won’t ever talk to me after watching me grow up since day 1 of life if they knew this.
In a way, I was trynna guess if they knew and tried to protect me from outside world because maybe people like me in my country are most likely harassed or killed. I live in Central/South America.
I played victim has a kid a lot because my parents didn’t let me do certain physical things and maybe because they chose to reward me with material things instead.
And now, I’ve come to the point where this character I build for living this life, has been shedding slowly. I couldn’t take it anymore after I graduated high school and had this sudden freedom of time to choose what’s next in my life. I went to college, still picking a career that I didn’t wanted but, I thought everyone else would be glad I did. (My parents payed for everything)
I graduated and I was granted with more freedom of time. By then, the character I build was even more heavy to carry because, it was mostly all broken apart. My plan was to keep the character the most alive and manlier while I get a job, (which I’ve never had) save money throughout years and flee to a country of my choice and keep studying, find my career and help the world with my real intentions.
I have received so much stuff from my family and parents. I have traveled out of America; because they gifted it to me; I gained access to some leverage and opportunities because of them; I have been in “wonderful places” that some cannot afford to; and that’s how I should come out all of a sudden?
•Now, in between all this time.. I got really depressed. For me to cope with this, was sex. And to turn myself on, I watched porn. I became addicted to that stimulus and since the same pornography didn’t gave the same stimulus, I got worse and I looked up for more graphic and disgusting stuff; I smoked cigarettes on purpose to look “manly” for the people; I tried to block my thoughts on good looking men and boys I saw in the street; I ruined friendships and relationships because of me being”this man”, etc.
(As you can see, all of this was horrible 'cause I naturally hate to do it but, I was too scared to be me) •
I’ve never paid them nothing or gave what parents expect or what your family expects. My grades at college and schools where awful; got bullied and wasn’t “man” enough to my parents to fight back, got many suicidal attempts and my parents on full time jobs had to deal with it, family problems like a cousin touched me on some gay way, then he cried and say it was me, etc.. I’ve been such a drag. I’ve just been around their lives.
I’m almost trying to save some relationships that are possibly doomed if they knew this.
I find it kinda hard to believe when those “day 1’s” people are really loyal, after you change and grow up looking after yourself and we realize we don’t fit in the same lifestyle anymore.
Some people have things they care most, you being that kid they always wanted you to be, the one you have to show, not the one you start to hide. (Maybe in this case)
Why should I have the right, to come out and expect us to be still part of each others life, but I just won’t give them the same experience they want? That’s the problem going around my thoughts all the time. That ain’t right.
Behind this “man”, is me with almost the opposite of it.
It was really hard to keep the character hidden because of my features. I’ve never looked that manly outside, I’ve always look like a girl or very feminine all physically. I’ve always loved how I look, but I didn’t told the people that because they told me to eat more and build more muscle to look “better” and “handsome” for them because, that’s what they think I should be. And I’m really sure, most of them will have a problem if I embrace my true self.
I’ve never been a hyper-ultra-feminine person with exaggerated mannerisms or gestures. I don’t rely on gender pronouns, I don’t care how they refer to me. Also, I don’t identify with LGBTQI+ genders or orientations. I’m just me.
There’s more to this, yet I don’t know I should continue.
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2020.09.19 05:22 sweetiebaby444 Hidden real porn

okay, so i have a boyfriend of 3 years. me (18) him (19) . he’s shy sweet and loves me more than anything. He always lets me in his phone all the time. shows me off constantly blah blah blah never any problems until lately.
My boyfriend left for military 8 months ago. he came home a month ago. While he was gone i my friend had found his account on tinder. I was devastated and confused, he was writing to me everyday. when i asked him about it he showed instant remorse and told me he made it for self validation. he let me login and deactivate the account. I came to the conclusion this problem wasn’t enough to outweigh the good in us. I forgave him but was still earning his trust back.
Fast forward to this month when he came home. I did some snooping in his app store hidden purchases because of my overthinking brain and to my suprise found over 10 dating apps that he downloaded the previous year. i had a breakdown and woke him up. i asked him wtf this was about and told him i was 2 seconds from leaving him if i couldn’t get a valid answer.
he started breaking down sobbing for 15 minutes and the admitted he had a problem,, or an “addiction” rather to porn. He told me he watches porn, and craves small chats with real people over the internet that he can forget about the next day. most conversations don’t make it past 2 texts but he finds that he’s addicted and cannot stop. he feels guilty of himself 24/7 and feels dirty. i’m very understanding. Even though i’m very hurt and it will take a long time to gain trust back, i know porn addiction is a serious problem. although he hasn’t been on these apps for about 3 months, i still need to keep my eyes out.
My question is How can i be there to help him? And how can he put an end to this addiction. He admits he needs help and wants to stop.
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