First gyno exam video

How to Stop the Boss From Sabotaging You. It’s hard enough when a colleague undermines you at work, but when the boss -- the person who can fire you -- undercuts you, it creates a more challenging situation. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, forms of workplace bullying include sabotage or work ... Here are five ways a sneaky manager will try to sabotage your work and keep you from succeeding. Give you a badly-defined project with no clear goal, and give you no resources to complete the project. If you undermine yourself by being late, schedule buffer time in your calendar. If you procrastinate, set an early, artificial deadline for projects. Immediately determine what you need to do and get to work. And hey — if it makes you feel better, I cried at work the other day to my boss about something so silly. But I couldn't help it because in the moment, I felt like I messed everything up. But it concerns me that it may be reflecting on how you see my work, so I’d like to get to the bottom of it.” Note that that’s not “Jane is sabotaging me!” It’s “this weird thing is happening and I want to make you aware of it and get your advice.” But even with that framing, ugh, it still has the potential for a lot of drama. It’s unforgivable, but sometimes self-sabotage comes out of sheer boredom. The truth is, you may self-sabotage for the mere purpose of pushing buttons. For example, starting a fight with your partner and inciting drama can give you a rush. Sabotaging yourself may offer you the familiar, chaotic feeling of instability. Sometimes i feel like my Work schedule is sabotaging everything I feel like my job is the biggest hurdle between me and reaching my goals. These days I try to get up at 5:30am, have my supplements and pre-workout, get ready for work and hit the gym. Take precautions against co-worker sabotage. It is wise to have some good measures in place to protect yourself if you ever fall under a colleague's attack. "Always have backup for everything you've done in case a coworker tries to place blame on you," says Aubyn Peterson, an administrative assistant for the Miss USA Pageant. Cover your ass on everything. Above all else, cover your ass on everything. Keep all correspondence. If your coworkers ask you to do something, follow up via email. When colleagues try to sabotage you, they might tell you lies to cause you to make mistakes. If you have questions about anything, ask your boss via email and copy the coworker. It did feel like a relief to talk to someone openly about my thoughts and behaviors but it did little to actually change my behavior. I would get hopeful for a few days but always, sooner or later resort back to thinking, "Well, I'm sick anyways, I've got eating disorder and I'm depressed, so I might as well just stay home and eat all this food ...

2020.06.28 14:07 khaleesi_onthatbeat First gyno exam video

I feel like my job is the biggest hurdle between me and reaching my goals.
These days I try to get up at 5:30am, have my supplements and pre-workout, get ready for work and hit the gym. I’ll workout with strength training and throw 10-20 minutes of HIIT (i mix it up between things like a HIIT body weight workout with a youtube video, some finisher circuits with lower weights, oe sprints on the treadmill.) i’m trying to improve running endurance and stamina for sport so if i’m not feeling good to lift weights or i got to the gym late, i’ll just do a long steady slow run (around 9kmph).
After my workout, i rush to the showers. Wash my hair and body, and change my clothes. Dry my hair. Do my basic boring repetitive make up. I have to pack everything with me in a big shoulder tote bag, so i have my lunch containers, clothes, work stuff and essentials, water bottle, coffee tumbler, hand sanitizer, extra mask, bullet journal and pens, workout diary...soon i will also have to carry a laptop with me as well because i want to start some online courses. I’ll grab a black coffee for my tumbler on the way to work. I commute by subway then bus for about 35 minutes total.
I work from 9:00am to 6:10 or 7:00pm, depending on the day. I teach ESL in a private academy. I dont have my own classroom, the teachers move from room to room. So in a day, i’ll teach either 9 classes (m/w/f days i finish at 6:10) or 10 classes (t/th finish at 7:00), standing the entire day. The only time i get to sit is at my computer for lunch, which half of that time is spent scarfing down food and the other half is doing more class prep or grading so i dont have to stay late after work...
According to my apple watch i hit 12 hours of standing in a day easily. I spend the whole day yelling mostly at my arisen because they are all spoiled brats, and through a mask no less its more difficult to project my voice.
By the end of the day i am so physically and mentally drained when i get home I don’t want to do anything. Then i get motivated again before i go to sleep...
But by the time i fix and eat dinner its 8pm. Then I need time for myself, time to digest and wind down, but if i should be getting 7-9 hours of sleep in order to recover properly, reduce cortisol levels, and actually feel rested when I workout, then i literally do nothing but work, eat, and workout once in the mornings. I have no time for the few friends i have, or time to do other things for myself like preparing for GRE exam, keeping up with my foreign language studies, reading a book or other hobbies...getting housework done, meal prep, appointments (doctor, gyno, hair, dentist, bank, etc) takes up time too if i dont have to take unpaid time off from work to get those things done if its not possible to do on the weekends.
I feel so stretched out. My workouts are okay, i’m timing my rests so its not wasted time and i get the full benefits. If i didnt workout in the morning i would just sleep an extra hour, so its not really giving me extra time for other things since my day ends the same way.
I wish i could just find a different job, but right now i’m lucky to even have one. And i’m definitely grateful to be gainfully employed, i’m not trying to be some first world whiner...i just dont feel like i can reach my fitness and health and weightloss goals or do ANYTHING to work on myself.
Any advice or just some consolation would be appreciated.
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2019.04.11 14:37 woopsadaizy Diagnostic Help

Age: 29 Sex: Female Weight: 122.6 (as of 4/11) Location of Complaint: Lower right quadrant of abdomen/over all immunity
Hey, Docs, med students, or anyone with medical interest. I have hit a bit of a road block in finding out what is going on with me. Docs keep going back to the idea that this is a gyno problem because the pain first was felt during intercourse, but I believe intercourse simply was pressing up on something in my gut triggering pain. I have listed below everything I can think of in the past 6+ months. Maybe information overload but I don't know what symptoms connect anymore. Please let me know your thoughts!
August 26th 2018 – Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease – Bad case, sores in mouth, feet, hands, extreme fatigue. Symptoms lasted about 2 weeks.
September 27th 2018 – Meet with PCP at time ( NAME REMOVED - RN @ PLANNED PARENTHOOD LOCATION) to discuss: • Pain during sex- pain felt in upper pelvic area, lower gut (to right of belly button). RN did pelvic exam and immediate look at swab. Said nothing looked abnormal from swab. 1. Said she felt tension in pelvic muscles and put in referral for pelvic physical therapy. Physical therapy was only available in LOCATION REMOVED, CITY OVER AN HOUR AWAY. I did not follow up on referral but found YouTube videos for tense pelvic muscle stretches and exercises. Followed these for a short time but no relief. Honestly, the pain felt nothing like tense muscles. It was very localized 2. She referred me for a pelvic ultrasound and transvaginal ultrasound. Imaging was performed at IMAGING CENTER NAME REMOVED. No abnormalities found. • Wanting to get tested for Thyroid Disorders- general malaise, inability to lose weight, feeling sluggish, sleeping too much or inability to sleep at night. Family history of Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. History of abnormal and back to normal results over last few years. 1. Said Planned Parenthood did not provide comprehensive testing for thyroid disorders. So, I made the decision to change PCP and switch to NAME REMOVED, MEDICAL CENTER. 2. 2011 low TSH( .34) and low t4 [have had other tests but only results I could immediately find]
≈October 5th, 2018 – Meet with Dr.REMOVED at MEDICAL CENTER. • Did blood testing for thyroid. Some results were abnormal but she said nothing really showing immediate concern. (TSH-.50) Also tested for low Vitamin D but that blood test was normal • I expressed to her that I have had past treatment for Generalized Anxiety and was experience some of the same symptoms but all symptoms seemed to be physical, I was not experiencing cognitive anxiety. Physical Symptoms: Racing heart, “drop in gut” feeling, shaking hands, dry mouth, all brought on randomly, without triggers. At the time, I was attributing these symptoms to possible thyroid problems but since thyroid testing did not show any issues, we decided to treat the anxiety symptoms with medications I was on in the past: 1. Prescribed Zoloft and Klonopin. 2. Referred to begin Therapy, started sessions with a behavioral therapist.
December 13th, 2018 – Blood clot found in popliteal artery behind knee extending into calf. Approximately 2 inches long. Discovered via ultrasound in ER after a week of just thinking I had weird leg cramps from recent running regiment started. • I am active, healthy weight, non-smoker. My job requires lots of walking and I had been running about 3 times a week for the past couple months so blood clot was attributed to Birth Control use without further testing. • Immediately stopped birth control. • Put on Xarelto for clot and followed up with PCP at MEDICAL CENTER. • New PCP at MEDICAL CENTER became Dr. REMOVED. Continued follow ups with her and Xarelto treatment until March 22nd.
→ Continued Pain in lower gut during sex during all this time.
≈January 10th-March 13th 2019 – Cold and flu symptoms that lasted for around 2 months. Would seem to stop for a day or 2 then reoccur.
• Jan 31st – Specifically bad day: Queasy all day, vomiting, temp. 100.3, nose bleed
March 13th 2019 - Visit NAME REMOVED, CHAIN Urgent Care for continued cold symptoms because I am completely drained and tongue had begun to turn black (told from bacteria over growth/black hairy tongue disease) and deep, painful, mucus producing cough. • Told I have fluid in ears and lots of post nasal drip. Treated for Sinusitis/Upper Respiratory Infection with antibiotic, Cefdinir. • At this same time, at least 2 other family members were diagnosed with the flu.
March 19th, 2019 – Sever upper pelvic/lower stomach pain felt. Sharp pains. Began in middle of work shift and continued to get worse throughout night with movement. At this point, I was doctored out. I knew it was about time for me to ovulate. I chalked it up to that, had some left over tramadol from my blood clot and self-treated for the next 2 days.
March 21st, 2019 – Pain had not subsided and I vomited. Called LOCAL HOSPITAL ER to talk to advice nurse. Told her my symptoms and that it may be just ovulation (though I have never experience bad ovulation pain before) or symptoms from being on the antibiotic. Was suggested that I visit NAME REMOVED Express Care because of possibility of appendicitis. • Seen at EXPRESS CARE. Treated by Dr. NAME REMOVED. Blood work done to see if elevation in WBC for appendicitis. WBC was completely midrange normal. • Dr. NAME REMOVED also performed Gyno exam. Swab was normal, though he did see some yeast. I always get yeast infections with antibiotic use so this was not abnormal, I already had an Rx in for diflucan and was just waiting for Xarelto use to be finished before taking medication as they react poorly. • Dr. NAME REMOVED said it felt swollen in upper right quadrant of pelvis but he could not determine if it was ovary or not. I was ovulating on this date so he concluded that it was probably a cyst formed from my follicle not rupturing normally and had become fluid filled/inflamed. Prescribed a few tramadol to help with pain and told to follow up with PCP saying pain would probably end after ovulation. • Nauseas and vomiting while at the express care. Stomach was empty so it was mostly bile and frothy clear liquid.
→ Xarelto use ended March 22nd. Antibiotic, Cefdiner, use ended on March 23rd. Took 2 doses of diflucan per Rx guidelines shortly after. I had experience diarrhea throughout antibiotic use. I do not do well with antibiotics so this did not seem abnormal to me. However, Diarrhea continued after dose completed. Stomach issues and nausea have continued to present ( 4/10/19 current date).
April 2nd, 2019 – Follow up appointment with PCP at MEDICAL CENTER. • Dull pain was still present in lower abdomen. Multiple doctors felt stomach, pain increased after the multiple physical exams. Pain still on lower right side. • Gyno and Pelvic exam preformed. No swelling felt. • Blood tests ordered and referred for a CT scan with contract. o Blood tests showed some abnormalities all dealing with aspects of white blood cells though WBC was normal. High Gran % - 80.1% - Normal Range 50-70 Low Lymph % - 17.5% - Normal Range 18-45 Low Anion Gap – 6 Calc - Normal Range 8-16 o Gyno Swab showed Clue Cells and BV – Moderate. • Dr. NAME REMOVED began treatment for BV and the possibility of C-Dif. Given 10 day supply of Metronidazole. • Provided stool sample, results have not yet been recieved.
April 9th, 2019 – CT with Contrast and IV Iodine performed. PCP called on 4/10/19 with results: CT did not show inflammation related to C -Dif or other ailments or anything else alarming. Told to continue with Metronidazole treatment and referral put in for another OBGYN appointment for a second look.
→ Dull pain has continued in lower right/center gut as of today’s date (4/10/19). Approx. 2 inches to right of belly button and 2 inches down. Sometimes sharp pains occur in that area. Sometimes pain radiates through right side. Pain increases exponentially with intercourse, sharp pain felt in same specific area. Pain does not occur during sex only when laying on my right side and shallow insertion.
Other symptoms that may or may not be related: • Lowemid back pain • Lethargy • Shaking Hands. • High Heart Rate without feeling of anxiety/explanation. (Data for this since Dec 23rd through Fitbit device). Sometimes “heart flutters” that make my breath “catch”. • Continued stomach issues/nausea • Loss of appetite and weight loss without trying (almost 9 pounds since Dec 23rd. Not much, but not a normal occurrence for me and i'm already small).
recent blood test results
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2019.03.03 01:14 dontreallyknow22 First gyno exam video

LONG POST ALERT: I'm going to have a lot of detail in this as it really helped me to read through others experiences.
I have taken the pill for about 3 years now with no issues up until recently. My gyno had been reluctant to refill my prescription as I hadn't been able to get to an appointment in awhile (currently away in college). I had about a 2 day break in pill usage and must have ovulated in that window and got pregnant (I'm in a long term committed relationship). I still did have a fairly normal period at the beginning of December and since I am a tad irregular I didn't worry until I was about 2 weeks past my expected period date. I then scheduled a pregnancy test at planned parenthood, it ended up being positive and we estimated from my last period that I was about 6 and a half weeks along. I then scheduled a medical abortion for 2 weeks later as that was the soonest available appointment. Fast forward 2 weeks I go in to have the ultrasound before being given the prescription to find out that I'm actually measuring at 10 weeks and 6 days along. I was extremely crushed that I couldn't go through with it at that time and my local clinic didn't offer a surgical option. I had to later call another pp to schedule a surgical abortion, one of the two options couldn't accommodate me by their 12 week cut off and the other clinic scheduled me but could only do so close to four weeks out. I was upset to wait so long but took the appointment slot as I was confident I wanted to have an abortion.
Now fast forward to my surgical abortion experience: I checked in at the front with my boyfriend, we waited about 10 minutes and they sent him to the main waiting room to talk to me. They just asked for his name, checked to see if he would be my driver and if he knew why I was there and could wait the 5 hours for the procedure, I said yes. They then handed me a folder and sent me to the main waiting area where there were quite a few people. I waited about 1.5-2 hours to be called back. At this point they took a brief medical history and pricked my finger to check my iron levels, I skipped the ultrasound as I had already had one and since I knew I was rh negative they skipped that step as well. I was then sent back to the main waiting area. About an hour later a woman took me back to do a full medical history, she additionally asked about my sexual history, my support system and how confident I was with my decision. She then brought my boyfriend back to tell him us how the rest of the day would go. She left for about 10 minutes because she "had a question" returned to tell us she was unsure if we would be able to go through with the procedure as the doctor had a 13 week 6 day limit and my old ultrasound put me at 14 w and 3 d, she left my boyfriend and I a couple minutes to talk privately then I then had to stressfully go back and have a new ultrasound taken, expecting to get sent home again. Luckily the ultrasound tech placed me at 13 weeks and 6 days and the doctor okay'd the images. I then went back and had a rhogam shot (for rh negative woman) and went back to the waiting room. After about another hour they took me back to a large room with chairs and recliners and had me watch a video on post operative care at home. The doctor came out and asked if I had any questions and had me sign a consent form. I had an IV port placed in my arm (definitely the most painful part for me as I have very non corporative veins and it took quite a few tries and moving the needle around), after the port was in they checked my breathing and heart and had me take the antibiotic and an ibuprofen. At this point I also put the misoprostol into my cheeks to start dissolving to dilate the cervix. They placed me in a dark room with one other woman, we had reclining chairs and heating pads and had the choice to watch a movie. About an hour and a half later a nurse came to take me to the exam room. First she had me go to the bathroom as she said the procedure can put some pressure on your bladder. I was a bit dizzy at this point but overall felt okay. I got to the exam room and was given another pill to swallow, it may have been an antibiotic but I'm not really sure. I undressed from the waist down and put my things in a bag and covered my lower body with a thin sheet. Another nurse came in and explained she would be giving me the IV injections and monitoring my heart rate. She positioned me on the bed and attached a heart rate cuff then gave 2 or 3 injections and let me know if I felt pain during the procedure she could give more pain medication. They asked if I was okay with another woman coming in who was learning which I was fine with. The doctor, the woman watching and I believe one more nurse came back to start the procedure. I don't have a great memory of everything due to the moderate sedation but remember the doctor initially checking to see if my cervix was dilated enough with her fingers then inserting the speculum. I then remember a slight pinch which I assume was the injection to numb the cervix. I then began to experience some strong cramping in my abdomen and woman on the two sides of me held my hands and I was given more pain medication. I can't remember the pain level but know I said ow aloud. The woman talked to me during the procedure but my memory of the conversations is blurry. I remember the suction being switched on 3 times but didn't feel anything. Then it was done, I think it took 15-20 minutes but it felt much quicker. One of the nurses helped me to put on my underwear, pants and shoes and took me back to the recovery room. I experienced some slight dizziness and moderate cramps but nothing severe. I was actually pretty alert and talkative. After about 20 minutes the nurse asked if I could stand and go to the bathroom to check my bleeding. I had bled a bit but not too much. They then gave me some sprite and goldfish crackers, they checked my blood pressure every so often and after about 40 minutes said if I was feeling better I could leave. We went back to the waiting room to get my stuff and my boyfriend and then left. Overall, from start to finish my appointment was very long, I checked in at 9:10 and it was about 5 when we left. They did say they were running behind that day and I'm sure the hiccups during the appointment made it take a bit longer. My experience with the staff was amazing, they were very kind and helpful and never condescending. They made sure I was sure of my decision and that I had a support system around me. After leaving I only experienced very slight cramps, and didn't need anymore ibuprofen or a heating pad although they did give a prescription for 800mg ibuprofen. I was pretty tired from the sedative and laid in bed from 7 when we got home to 11am the next day on and off sleeping. It's now the day after and I feel very normal. No nausea, vomiting or extreme fatigue today which has been nice. I have no cramps and my bleeding is pretty minimal. I'm slightly sad but still feel very good about my decision.
Overall, I would recommend surgical and moderate sedation to anyone having to make the decision. The IV port is uncomfortable and painful to get in but made the procedure a blurry memory and much less painful. Surgical felt more like a medical procedure and I was glad to have it done with afterward plus recovery has been easy. Staff was great but I do wish scheduling appointments could be done more quickly and almost getting turned away twice was frustrating. Overall for prices (I live in Michigan) I paid 0 for the pregnancy test, 115 for the ultrasound at the medical appointment and 435 for the surgical abortion (didn't have to pay for repeat ultrasound so I assume it would normally be 550). If you have any questions please feel free to pm me.
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2018.10.24 16:22 doubleyouw2 First gyno exam video

Sorry for the long post feel free to skim.
First off I have to say this forum is awesome! I was reading it every night before bed during my studying. I definitely want to keep on helping since so many people have helped me.
I'm a US IMG studying in Italy. I took the exam in the summer between my 4th and 5th year, out of 6. I'm not much of a class goer I usually learn everything on my own. I'm very visual and have been using osmosis videos and sketchy since my second year and they've really helped me get by.
After my first semester this year I decided to take the exam in the summer. I spent March and April doing a block or two of uworld a day while still going to the hospital and studying for my exams. For May I stopped any USMLE and focused on my school subjects (GI, Nephro, Rheumato and Dermato) after my last exam early June I took 2 weeks off. From mid June I went into it hardcore.
My schedule was made by osmosis to finish going over everything a month before my exam. In addition I made sure that every Monday I did a full 7 blocks of uworld straight without checking my answers till after. This was to get used to the taxing length of the exam (best thing I did). The studying included subjects I hadn't learned yet like Gyno. I spent every morning reading first aid (hated the book) then watching osmosis and sketchy videos on the subjects I read about. At 6pm everyday I went to the gym for an hour and half and usually watched some sketchy while working out. After the gym I'd go back to the library and continue going over my exam from Monday.
A month before my exam I had finished going over everything. I did my uwsa1 and got a 226. I felt really terrible throughout the whole thing but apparently that's normal... At that point I read a post here about dirty USMLE and I dove right it! I think he's a genius. Really helped. I wish I would've started earlier. Definitely donating to him now.
Now I was already in middle of my second uworld run and basically focused on block prep, sketchy and dirty USMLE. I'd do 7 blocks, spend the next day or two analyzing then do 7 more.
3 weeks before I did uwsa2 and got a 232. Felt a little better but still not comfortable enough. I did nbme 15 at some point and I don't remember my grade. I did 18 and 19 in these 3 weeks and got in the low 200 and was trying to keep it together.
2 weeks before I did the free 120 at the center which was huge! I got 76% and I felt ready to go. Honestly I just wanted to get it over with already.
Spent the next 2 weeks with sketchy, uworld (wrong answers) and dirty USMLE.
Took the exam August 29th. Exam was hard, not going to sugarcoat it. I felt good throughout most of it except for the 4th block where I was just lost. Very few biochem, lots and lots of pharm! (Thank you sketchy!) A good amount of random ethical questions and some of the rest. I was just so happy to know it was going to be over so soon that I was more relieved then nervous.
Now to people taking the exam here are my 2 cents.
Sketchy sketchy and more sketchy! Can't emphasize enough how many questions they got me the answer and quickly. I'd read a question see the picture and know the answer right away. Most importantly for pharm. Pharm is so hard to memorize straight up, sketchy gives a whole story to everything. I couldn't do it without. I started in second year for micro and I wish I would've watched it more throughout my schooling. If I could do it again I'd pound sketchy from day 1. Path isn't as good but still better than most other resources.
first aid- hated it. I found it like trying to learn a language from a dictionary, yes everything is in there but it doesn't integrate it well like you need for the exam. I would use it more as a reference point if you need to check something up.
Dirty USMLE- best free resource by far. The guy is a legend I just wish he had more.
Osmosis- had some really good videos but also some that aren't so great and are lacking.
Uworld- amazing! Especially there answers really teach you a lot. I ended up doing uworld 2.5 times including my wrong answer many times.
Tried using Anki but couldn't really connect.
I think the two best things I did, that I didn't really see emphasis on, were practicing 7 blocks in a row and doing the free 120 at the center.
The exam is a beast! People don't realize that it's more than just knowing it's being able to sit for 8 hours and stay concentrated and that takes a lot of practice. The exam day just felt like another day at the library and that took off a ton of stress.
The free 120 at the center is also big. Knowing where you're going the day of, how it'll work, the computers, all that makes test day that much smoother and calmer. Worth the 70$ for sure.
Only thing I would change if I did it again is do more NBMEs. The exam is really a mix of uworld and NBMEs and I was much heavier on the uworld part.
That's my story. Please feel free to ask me anything or comment.
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2018.04.17 20:02 NotYourAverageTomBoy First gyno exam video

Title says gyno, but he's just a regular dr.
I've been having unusually long periods that are also unusually heavy. When I told my dr he offered to do an exam. The first visit I declined because I've been sexually assaulted in the past and I'm not comfortable with a male dr down there.
Well, 3 mnths later I was still having the same problem and at my next visit I mentioned it and he offered again, and at this point I just wanted it all to stop. ("It" being my period problems.) So I worked up my courage and agreed.
Bow, this dr is young, maybe a few years older than me and I'm 34. And he is insanely hot. So of course that made me even more uncomfortable. Him being married made me feel a little better, but the nurse who was there was barely paying attention to what was going on.
It starts off typical, feet in stirrups, and making sure my body is lower on the table so he can get a good view, etc..
Then comes the part where he has to feel inside of me with his fingers to check for irregularities. But even though he had a perfect view of my lady bits, the first thing he touched was my clit. I was currently on my period at the time, but it wasn't heavy at all and there was virtually no blood. But here's something people might not know. During your period, a woman becomes super horny, and sensitive. So when he touched me, I definitely felt it, but I made no indication that I did. Yes, instinctually it felt amazing, but I kinda freaked out internally. It wasn't a quick graze, it was more like, well, ever see that video of the guy being frisked and the cop grabs something, feeling around, then asks what it is and the perp says, "that's my dick." and the cop surprisingly lets go and is embarrassed? Well, that's kinda how it went, like he didn't know what he was touching or something.
I'm not deformed down there or anything, I look completely normal from any other girl. How could he have been confused?
Then he quickly, as if realizing what he was doing, pulled away and tried his best at giving me the proper exam. But I could feel him shaking. His entire body was shaking, and he could barely talk.
He eventually gave up the exam claiming he couldn't do it properly for some reason, and suggested I make an appt at a gyno. But even while he was doing paperwork and asking me questions not pertaining to the exam, he was visibly shaking and stuttering.
I was mortified and even during the exam started to cry out of embarrassment. Not because of what he did, although it was embarrassing, it was because I'm not comfortable with my body, heck, I don't even let my bf see me completely naked.
Do you think it was all an honest mistake?
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2017.06.19 04:48 Danzzo36 How acid changed me

So a little backstory on me, I was never a popular kid growing up, I never really had any friends that were girls during my elementary and high school days. Never had a girlfriend, never been on a date, and the two girls I did fool around with were because they both had recently broken up with their boyfriends. I was one of the shy/quiet guys that everyone got along with but never really knew that well, with the exception of my few close friends. I became overweight that started from my parents getting a divorce when I was 10 and letting me eat anything I wanted. I developed gyno at 12 (not only tissue but I had puffy nipples for some fucking reason) and since then I've always had anxiety from it. I combated this by wearing larger shirts most of the time. I eventually ended up going for surgery at 16 I believe, but the surgeon was an idiot and instead of removing the tissue underneath, he cut part of my nipples off and sewed them back on. It did nothing and to this day they still flare up (not that I care nearly as much, only when you can see them through some shirts) Aside from that I was usually happy when it wasn't on my mind. I've known my current friends since grade six and one from grade 10, we'd usually spend our nights playing video games all night long... at least I did, instead of going out to parties like the rest of the school. I didn't even know what weed was until grade 12.
Now in grade 12 I was originally going to go back to high school for another year as I didn't know what career I wanted to pursue. I knew that it wanted to be something healthcare related as I've always loved helping people. Originally it was radiation tech, but again I was unsure. On the first day of grade 13 I already hated the fact that I was staying behind and all my friends were off to university and college. I knew nobody, and I knew I was going to hate being there the second I opened the doors to that school. Later that day my mom mentioned that there was a paramedic school right beside her work and that maybe I would be interested. I didn't look into it very much and naively applied for the program which started one week from then. I was accepted due to it being a private college with few programs$$$$.
I ended up liking the program while I was in it, mostly because it was something new and I didn't feel like as much of a failure. I drifted by and barely ever studied, but managed to pass all my courses except 2 in the second semester. I never studied for 6 months prior to the certification exam either, but just barely passed with a 72, the cutoff being 70. I never felt a drive to find a job after finishing, but never knew why. My mom even knew someone who could have gotten me into a local service, yet I still never followed through.
After getting my certificate, someone from my school gave me a joint, thinking I smoked, when we all met up at a restaurant to discuss our marks and the exam. I said to myself that I would never touch drugs, and ended up giving it to a guy I worked with (I'm still at this job currently). My mom and dad were disappointed that I didn't at least try working as a medic first, and continued to push me to do so for a few months, but I never gave. They ended up letting off and gave me some time to decide what I wanted to do.
I told myself I didn't want to pursue it because of shift work, long hours, having to deal with dirty people, and being off put by some of the other medics I encountered during my ride outs. They all have some truth to it, yet I still felt like there was something more I was missing.
So six months goes by without anything happening and I go to a stag and doe with my cousin. I drove him home and he asks me if I want to vape some weed. I was nervous but was also interested in what the hype was about with this plant. We end up doing 3 bowls between us two and his friend. Fuck did I love it. It felt so euphoric and like nothing I've ever felt before. I ended up sitting in one spot for 30 minutes thinking about who knows what while they went to Dons.
Now I still had anxiety at this point, but it was never all that bad around friends and family, I would stutter sometimes and not know what to say ( I'd laugh instead of responding) or remain quiet if I was in a group. I wasn't usually one to lead a conversation, especially if there were people that I didn't know. I ended up telling my parents less then a month later and they were pretty cool with it, my dad used to be a stoner so he could understand, so long as that was all I did. I thought it was great, I started having my friends over every two weeks when I stayed at his place on the weekends and we had a blast chilling there, we'd play some old n64 games, raid the pantry as every high teen would, and ordered the occasional pizza. We did this for a few months but ended up stopping.
As time went on I still didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, and I started to smoke more. It turned into twice a week around the beginning of 2016. I became lazy as fuck and never left the house, at my heaviest I was 250lbs. I started to become depressed (not clinically ) as I would do fuck all with my time off. My days consisted of surfing the web, watching youtube, eating several times a day because I was so bored, and watching Netflix. It's actually pathetic how many times I've seen the entire series of The Office, Arrested Development, and The Trailer Park Boys. My worst days were during the month of April 2016. I decided to spend some more time at my dads so I stayed there for that month, and everyday I would order a large pizza when he went to work and eat the entire thing, then hide the box in my car. (Side note) I've always been working out since grade 11, but I've been terribly inconsistent. My best days began during the start of 2015 when I joined an actual gym that my friend went to (It's also where I met the friend I've known since grade 10 again). I was the most consistent here but since then I've fallen off. During the pizza month I didn't go at all and I went from 220 to 235lbs and fuck did I ever hate myself.
I started going to the gym again, but not nearly as often as before, and I also started to smoke weed more often, reaching around 5 times a week. My mom tried to warn me and I said it was fine, she could tell it was getting worse but she let me have my freedom. Now this is when my anxiety and paranoia started to get worse (never knew why though and I never told anyone for a long time). When I would hang out with my friends and there was a silence or I said something stupid, I got this wave of paranoia that would rush over me, thinking that they would start to not like me because of it. My self esteem started to drop, I became more anxious around women, I blanked even more during conversations, I developed a stutter, I started slurring my words, and my voice became weaker because my throat was always cooked. This combined with watching porn only made me see girls in one way which again, made it even worse to interact, and I would always think that they knew this too.
It got so bad that I would think of excuses to not go to events or others places with friends, family, and coworkers. If someone I was close with previously tried to reach out to me I would ignore them or make excuses to not see each other again (An old friend from elementary and high school, my preceptor from my ride outs, etc). When my boys started to come by my place again I would get massive anxiety if only one person showed up first, unless it was someone who we'll call P ( the others being A and M, and D). D we started to shun and kicked out of our Facebook chat because he was always chirping everyone, except he didn't know how to properly and it just pissed everyone off. He was also kind of annoying and he liked to touch everyone randomly while making weird sexual comments.
On top of the anxiety and paranoia, I started to become jealous of A and M as they also worked out and were much bigger than me. This only added on to my insecurity around them and myself in general. I started to think I was becoming like D and that the other guys didn't like me and only did because we always used my house to smoke. I didn't know where I stood with all three of them and it fucking killed me inside. There was one time when we were streaming the Ultra Music Festival and I cutoff M while he was talking to A to say something irrelevant to the conversation. They both glanced at each other and I literally froze in fear for a solid 30 minutes, crunching my toes and only watching the TV thinking about how much they fucking hated me. There were many more instances of this but I won't get into them.
Looking back they most likely thought nothing of it, as each time they came over they were always chill and relaxed around me, but as the nights went on my anxiety/paranoia got worse and I would start to repeat this cycle.
I actually started to hate when they came over because I knew what was going to happen. Every time I talked to A or M all I thought about was how much bigger they were than me and it clouded my thoughts when I tried to respond to them, whether I was high or not. I was always looking for validation whenever I spoke, hoping they would laugh or say a positive comment towards me. My biggest insecurity was ( and still is, but again, not nearly as much) the size of my arms. I would always try to look at their arms and it just made me feel even worse about myself. I was even afraid to message them on Facebook privately, the only person I could do this with was P, and even then I was still uncomfortable at times.
I developed an addiction to porn and food and would constantly overeat on my days off work, and would jack off once, sometimes twice a day (well actually the porn thing started long before this). I started putting off anything and everything I had to do, even if it was a small task such as emailing my manager to refund me some money for having to pay for a gas bill. All that mattered to me was when I could smoke next, and when/what I was going to eat.
Now skip ahead to December 2016 and our group went to a music festival, this being my first one. I had read about LSD previously and the visuals and mindfuck it would cause. I also thought it may help me figure out what career I wanted to pursue. I was nervous and resistant at first due to all the propaganda surrounding it, but eventually did one tab with M, P, and A. I never actually did it inside the rave, this was at noon and it started at 10pm. It was pretty fun, but my anxiety was still there and it made it even harder for me to talk at times. It was also fucking jokes because A is hilarious with how he talks sometimes and we were howling going through old pictures of us, racing on rainbow road was also quite the ride. I was still pretty quiet during this and mostly laughed unless someone talked to me specifically. Since I was in a group setting I never had the chance to self reflect, but I never knew that's what I needed to do at the time. I thought maybe I didn't take enough or that my brain deteriorated from not being stimulated enough these past years. A lot of times I would be thinking of nothing when I was tripping, and also when I was sober long before and after this.
So the festival ends and two months later I drop 1.5 tabs, again in a group setting, but this time we went to a club because a DJ was playing a set there. Again, no revelations or anything. I actually ended up watching his visuals for most of his set and was also tripped out a bit because this chick kept rubbing up against me with this leather jacket and it felt really weird, I never moved though. After it finished we were chilling outside and P asked what we were seeing. I blanked and the best I could come up with was something about the lines on his car (At this point I thought they thought I was a fucking idiot). I was still smoking daily and would skip the gym and other priorities just to smoke and do fuck all with myself. I actually lost the ability to feel full and would go on protein bar binges, sometimes eating up to 10 in one night, on top of my regular meals, it was fucked up. I probably averaged 4000 calories a day at minimum.
So all this keeps happening until we go to another festival, it took place at the beginning of this month. On the last day I dropped 2 tabs while we were relaxing at our campsite. At first it was like the usual trip, shapes in the clouds, a body buzz, etc. After about 2 hours in I went into our yurt to listen to some deadmau5, not realising what would happen next. I lied down on my bed and started listening to some random songs at first, and then the song Demons by Kai Wachi came on. I was captivated by the cover art but I also knew what was going to happen next. I fucking broke down. Tears started running down my face as I started to see my own demons. I couldn't look away from the screen and my entire view became that picture. The acid allowed me to see what was causing my anxiety, paranoia, fear of others and lack of self esteem. I don't quite know how to explain it, but it basically showed me that it was all bullshit and that there really was no reason for me to feel this way. It's almost like I killed off those thought patterns in my head. I was still balling my eyes out at this time when the second part of the song started to play. During this my head flooded with memories of all that I've missed out on because of it, all the people I've pushed away, all the girls I've avoided because I was too afraid, even being too afraid to post on social media because my self esteem was so low. All the times that my friends would do something for me or give something to me, yet I still doubted that they liked me. I probably played the second part 15 times, just sitting there crying, letting all of the bottled up emotions out.
I felt some peace afterwards and then played There Might be Coffee by deadmau5. I didn't completely feel it right away but I knew that it was time for a change, I couldn't continue being the same person I was before, it was unhealthy and would continue to destroy me. The song was so uplifting and gave me hope and the confidence that I would be able to change. I started to cry tears of joy, today was the day that I left my old self behind, once and for all. The song kept playing and my confidence in myself started to rise more and more, I knew I was going to be able to do this, because the only thing that was ever holding me back was myself. It also made me realise what direction I wanted to pursue in life.
Ever since my cousin (not the one who I smoked with) got me into organic products and working out (also credit to A for helping me start in the gym, and M for helping me with form and other questions I had during my noob days) I've always felt like I've really enjoyed learning about fitness and how to become healthier and more well rounded. Not only just about working out, but also about healthy eating, getting in tune with our bodies ( most people don't know how to walk properly), proper sleeping habits, etc. I want to try and change how we see fitness nowadays, because most of the shit we do is backwards. I want to be preventative as opposed to reactive. Something that has to do with policy change in schools, or public speaking, educating our youth on these topics that are glossed over in school. It showed me that you should do something that you love, because if you don't love it, then your work becomes work, and you tend to not have any motivation to succeed in that career. Too many times people go into careers for the money or prestige or whatever, thinking that that's whats going to make them happy. If you're constantly chasing that superficial feeling you'll never be satisfied. All you're doing is trying to feed your ego, which never brings true peace and happiness. I realised that success is doing what you love to do, nothing more, and fuck what anyone else says. We only have a finite amount of time on this planet, we can never get it back, so why subject yourself to a job that you don't enjoy, it just doesn't make sense. Who cares about how much the job brings in, obviously you should try to pair this with something that brings in a decent amount, but it's not everything, and I never truly understood it until now.
I also realised I never pursued being a medic because I never felt like I could do enough to help someone. Half the calls we got were to nursing homes, picking up people who are half dead with 0 quality of life, or it was some bullshit call that wasn't really an emergency, I just saw no value in it. We're there to make sure they don't die before getting to the hospital, that's about it. Pile that on with high PTSD rates, shift work (which is shown to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years), having to deal with dirty people, and the other medics who seemed to think they're a god send [anecdotal experience] . I just couldn't do it and acid was the thing that showed me why.
After the festival ended I started to notice things differently. People who made me anxious before didn't, I was able to have conversations more easily with others and actually connect on a deeper level. I started to have an interest in their lives which made it easier to converse, and if I didn't know what to respond with I shrugged it off. I wasn't afraid to give people compliments where they were due. My anxiety also dropped around prettier women and I could talk to them normally. I started to not give a fuck about things too. Doing something that would be embarrassing for me no longer made me feel that way. I would go around dancing through stores while listening to music, not caring if anyone watched. Who cared if they did, they would see me, probably think I was weird, and then continue on with their day. I'm also not afraid to stand up for myself anymore.
I have little to no anxiety around my friends and family too, I can relax when I'm hanging out with them, I still don't always know what to say sometimes, but that's a work in progress. I just felt (and still do feel) happier overall with how my life was/is, it didn't seem as bad anymore and now I can focus on improving myself. I started taking cold showers to help me get out of my comfort zone even more, they also feel great now. I have more motivation to get shit done. I had a list of 40 tasks I had to do that just kept piling up because I kept putting it off that I'm starting to check off. It also gave me a sense of relief knowing what career (or at least the general direction) I want to take. I think that was one of the things that was eating away at me the most, along with a poor mentality concerning my social life.
I start everyday waking up to There Might Be Coffee now and its great. It feels amazing to actually be able to talk to anyone without the constant fear and anxiety in my head. I truly believe Steve Jobs when he said LSD was the best thing he ever did in his life, guaranteed its what made him start Apple. I don't want to be one of those people who just lets life fly by and regret so many things they wish they could have done. I'm starting to get into mountain climbing/ hiking, I'm going to start taking self defence classes, dance lessons, and a bunch of other shit that I should have started 2 years ago. So fuck you weed, I'm done letting you control my life. I'm currently in the process of selling all paraphernalia associated with it and I plan on never smoking again, those few hours of bliss aren't worth the toll it can take on me. Porn can also go fuck itself, it's nothing but a cancer and diminishes the intimacy of physical relationships and conditions us to be attracted to pixels. I'm doing no fap as well and I can't wait to finally get into the game after all these years of being so reclusive.
The government can go fuck itself as well, it's overblown and useless, people who try to fuck over others for their own personal gain (especially on that scale) are the true scum of the earth. I adamantly believe lsd has more potential for therapeutic use than any other bullshit drug we prescribe today that's not actually meant to cure anything and also has major side effects to it. Half the reason why people think its bad is because it's nicknamed acid and we've been fed this our entire lives.
I never thought a change like this could happen so fast, nor did I think it would happen when it did, but I'm so happy it did because the life I lived before was killing me inside.Those 2 songs will always hold a special place in my heart, as they helped me become who I am now. I don't know if this would be considered an ego death, but I'm calling it that anyways. I hope you guys could take something from this and apply it to your lives as well.
Everyone has the potential to succeed in life, you're the only one that's holding yourself back.
See you all next trip :)
submitted by Danzzo36 to LSD [link] [comments]


2017.02.20 04:44 windlikethunder Exam video gyno first

Back story: I am a 21 yo white female. I went through puberty early and my period started at around age 10. Starting off, my period cramps were not too bad and my periods were relatively regular and light. I do remember sitting in my 8th-grade language arts class and thinking "WTF is going on with my abdomen?" when I experienced by first cramps. Other than this, I really did not have a problem.
My cramps started to get worse in high school but they were not unbearable. My flow increased and I would have bleeding for about 6-7 days. I suffered from chronic constipation, likely made worse from the high dosage of ibuprofen I was taking. My symptoms really started to get worse once I entered college. I had extremely painful periods. I specifically remember one instance where I started to take a shower and was hit by such a wall of pain that I had to stop the shower (shampoo in my hair) and crawl out of the bathroom (nearly naked in front of my pot-luck roommate) to my bed where I stayed for over an hour until the pain subsided (with a hefty dose of ibuprofen). My periods were moderately regular, but I would have spotting throughout the month and most commonly around ovulation. Sex was painful in a deep, stabbing way, and bowel movements would cause cramping up my rectum. My flow was quite heavy as well. I would wear a super tampon and a maxi pad and be covered for maybe four hours. Nights were bad because I would wake up fearing I had leaked through one of those crazy overnight pads that look like adult diapers (and unfortunately, this would happen from time to time).
I, however, thought this was normal. I don't have any sisters and my mother never had bad periods, so I had nothing to compare to. All of my friends complained about periods because that is what teenage girls do. I remember being shocked the first time I heard that some girls only cramp on the first day of their period or they only bleed for three or four days. What type of sorcery was this?! I went to my Uni's gyno to get birth control so that I could have safe sex (safe sex = good sex! protect yourselves!). She noted that my cycle seemed abnormal in terms of pain and flow, gave me a prescription for Lutera, and told me I should consult with a "real" gyno after term ended because I might have Endometriosis.
I consulted with a "real" gyno in my hometown. She performed a pelvic exam and did not find anything unusual. I had a bunch of bloodwork done to make sure I did not have anemia, blood born illnesses, STDs, or any blood/metabolic inconsistencies that would point to a disease/illness. I had a transvaginal ultrasound done and one ovarian cyst was found. I was told to "watch and wait" and I was given a new prescription for Lo Loestrin Fe. I told her that I also suffered from constipation and she told me to take Miralax. If you want to hear how much I hate Miralax, I made another post in ibs where I used some colorful language.
I went back to Uni and stayed on Lo Loestrin for about 15 months. It helped with pain for about 9 months before it started to get bad again, perhaps up to 75-80% of my original pain. My cycle started to get crazy irregular. I would bleed for 2 weeks, not have a period for 40 days, then have a period for a week and then off a week and then on again, and then 35 days without, etc. Flow was lessened, but still "heavy." Sex was no longer as painful and with a new considerate and loving partner, I was able to cultivate a sex drive and healthy sexual relationship. I probably should have consulted my gyno during this time, but I go to Uni about two hours away from my hometown.
I started reading up on IUDs and decided that Mirena sounded like a good fit for me. Bonus: covered by my insurance! (thanks parental units!) I went to a local gyno to get it in November of 2016. My cycle has been regular (again, I've only had it three months, so this could be luck) and my flow is lighter but still long (about 10-11 days). edit: periods stopped being regular after three months
Meanwhile around September, I was having new GI problems and visited a Uni doc-in-the-box (my last true GP was my pediatrician) where I was diagnosed with IBS-M/A (mixed/alternating). I have nausea, constipation/diarrhea, loss of appetite, and bloating/distension. Sometimes I look several months pregnant, despite that I am otherwise trim, fit, and healthy. Once again, I was told to take Miralax. I do not have any known food allergies, including lactose or gluten/wheat. She basically told me "You have IBS and you will just need to live with it. I can send you to a specialist but they are just going to tell you the same thing."
Months later (i.e. this week) I went to the GI specialist because the pain has been consistently getting worse and is localized to my lower left quadrant (localized pain is not common with IBS). My GI specialist ordered more blood work (results have not been returned yet) and scheduled me for a colonoscopy in two weeks to rule out anything else, although he is "skeptical he will find anything." He doubts my IBS could be caused by my possible endo, however, a lovely Redditor sent me a link to a presentation all about endo and IBS. The article left me in tears because it was like reading my life story. I will link it at the bottom.
So here I am. I'm pretty amazed if you even read this far, so thank you. I'm 21 and in chronic pain. I'm hoping my IUD will help. I've considered finding an Endo specialist but I am scared that if I go I will be written off as melodramatic and that I have a victim complex. After all, every 20 something says she has bad periods, right? Moreso, I'm scared that if I can get a gyno to agree to a lap, they will go in and find nothing. My question is, do any of you see a reflection of your symptoms in mine? Does this truly sound like endo? What made you decide that you didn't just have "bad periods" and that this was worth fighting for? Have you ever been blown off by a doctor because you were young?
Any and all input, words of compassion, or words of advice are greatly appreciated. Seriously, thank you for reading this far. May the endo gods smile upon your uterus (or lack thereof for those with a hysterectomy).
Link to IBS/Endo presentation
Edit: jesus christ this is long. Whoops.
Edit 2: I've joined Nancy's nook and have discovered a whole new side of battling endo (and it's awesome!). I made an appointment with an excision specialist for April. He has experience working alongside colorectal surgeons during his laps! I will update this when updates are available.
update: March 2017 Bloodwork and colonoscopy were both normal. The mystery continues?
update: April 2017 Met with my Nook doctor! He is 90% sure I have endo. I'm having excision surgery at the end of the summer!
UPDATE: August 2017 I was officially diagnosed with endo! It was extensive and took my surgeon over two and a half hours because it had grown all over my rectum too.
update: September 2017 I am now a moderator for endo! Crazy how the world comes full circle. This sub has given me so much and I look forward to giving back! Feel free to message me if you have any questions!
submitted by windlikethunder to Endo [link] [comments]


2015.07.20 16:08 gloweeracsi free gyno sex videos

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2014.10.20 12:57 HologramHolly First gyno exam video

I've been with my SO for almost two years now. When I started seeing him I wasn't on bc but we used condoms. They were spermicide condoms and irritated me a lot. After a while, I started the Nuvaring and we started using Trojan Naked Sensation condoms. They are loose and baggy so I found them a lot less irritating.
I still get UTIs every now and then. I've been to the doctor countless times and each times they just tell me to pee right after sex wear cotton panties etc... A few times they've prescribed me antibiotics to get rid of particularly nasty infections. One doctor told me the friction from the condoms was making the problem worse and that since I was on the Nuvaring I should be safe to stop using them.
My SO is VERY paranoid about this stuff and didn't want to consider that option, especially since I don't think I could go through with an abortion if we ever had an accident. A few months ago I took a stand and said something like, look I'm in a lot of pain, when this happens I have to leave work for the day, I can't study (I'm in uni) when I'm in pain, this is affecting my life.
We tried it once without condoms but I chickened out. I missed a month with the Nuva ring so now I have to wear it for a month before we can try again with no condoms but it keeps. happening.
I have an exam today but I can't study because of this freaking pinching pain in my vagina. I can't go to an after hours clinic before my exam and even if I go after, I know they're going to give me the "pee after sex, that's all you can do" bullshit.
There HAS to be something I can do to make this stop! Any advice?
EDIT: While I'm at it, how can you tell the difference between a yeast infection and a UTI? I'm not peeing blood, but there is a burning. There is a white discharge but I find the nuva ring does that.
EDIT 2 Electric Boogaloo: I have been hoarding some antibiotics from the times they have been prescribed. I do have a cold but it could just be a cold. No cramping feeling and no fever. Should I just take the damn antibiotics? I live in Canada, so free healthcare is great but it will take me like 2 weeks to see my doctor and going to an after hours clinic means calling the clinic over and over again for maybe 2 hours straight and MAYYYBE getting an appointment for like 7 PM. Going to the hospital is a minimum 3 hour wait and like I said I have an exam later so it's possible that I could have to leave without seeing a doctor after waiting all day.
Edit 3: The Editting: Called telecare before doing anything rash. He was like don't take the antibiotic bruh. If you just take like 1 it won't work and will make the infection immune to them. Told me to drink tons (more than I thought) of water, get an over the counter pain killer, and to monitor it over 24 hours. Going to play video games till noon because I find relaxing helps the pain go away faster. I'll just have to cram a bit before the exam. Not happy bout that but I'll do even worse on the exam if I'm rushing because of the pain. Thanks for the tips.
Edit 4: With a Vengeance: Got into the after hours clinic, it was indeed a UTI and I got prescribed antibiotics. For a long term solution, I'll have to book an appointment with my doctor which will probably take like a month, but I'm going to ask about seeing a specialist. Of note that I have never had a gyno check up, as apparently standard practice now is to only refer patients when they're 25. Until then, I think I can put a lot of the tips people have commented or PMed me to use. Some of them never occured to me! This was my first time posting on TwoX and I'm so pleased by what a helpful community it is.
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2012.09.12 22:50 silly87 First video exam gyno

I'm currently 13.5 weeks pregnant, and this is my first time. I really know nothing about pregnancy or having children (though I have been reading up!). My OB was recommended to me by a nurse at my university. I really preferred a female doctor, but the nurse said he was great, so I set up an appointment with him. I was working for the university as a GTA, but without funding for those positions anymore, I not only don't have that job; I lost the health insurance it came with. So I need a doctor who accepts Medicaid (which he does). He went to a great medical school and an even better residency program. He seemed really cool at first; he had my SO and me in his office after my first exam for counseling. Since it's our first baby, he was willing to listen to our questions, though we didn't have many at that point. He asked us about our schooling, financial situation, parents, etc. He seemed really interested and even said that as our OB, he wants to know about our lives. He said that when we came in the next time, which would be for an ultra sound, he wanted us to have lots and lots of questions ready for him.
Well, the ultra sound happened, but we didn't even get to see the doctor. We actually had a ton of questions prepared. No meeting with him. Not even a "hello." We were excited enough about the ultra sound video we got to take home that we didn't think to say anything until later. And, like I said, this is our first time, so we have no idea how this is supposed to work.
So I had my third visit earlier this week. He did a test he said he forgot to do the first time. I'm used to female gynos, so I kept accidentally closing my legs on him because it's so uncomfortable to have a man that's not my SO down there, but he was very kind about it. He actually apologized to me (I told him there was no need for that). While still in the exam room (and while I was still half-naked), he filled out some paperwork while he asked if we had any questions. I had been expecting the same sort of office sit down we had the first time, so I was taken a bit off guard. I've lost about 11 lbs since I got pregnant, and I told him I was worried that I'm still not gaining weight. He just said, "You will," and didn't explain further. Well yes, I assumed that being pregnant I will eventually gain weight, thank you. I had also wanted to ask him if the 25-35 lbs I'm supposed to gain changes to 35-45 with my weight loss, or if it's 25-35 from my new lower weight, but his response kind of threw me off. It was almost as if he didn't want to have to deal with us. From the moment he walked in, he seemed like he was in a bad mood or something. He asked how I was feeling, and I said, "Just tired all the time." He said, "Bless your heart," very nonchalantly, which I guess was sweet. I actually did think it was nice, but my SO thought the tone indicated he didn't give one poo. Because he didn't seem like he really wanted to discuss anything with us, and because my vagina was still out, I didn't ask anymore questions. He said he'd see us in a month and that was it. I know it's partly our fault for not taking advantage of him being there, I just didn't feel comfortable and neither did my SO.
I have so many questions about mid-wife nurses, appetite (even with my vomiting pretty much going away, I have little to no appetite and don't eat much), Lamaze classes, what my vagina's going to look like, etc etc etc. The doctor seemed really cool at first, but now he seems disinterested or something. Is this normal? Since I'm only beginning my second trimester, does it make sense that the doctor doesn't see much need for talking to me other than to say everything looks good? Should I request an office meeting (while fully clothed!)?
Hoping for a little advice from those of you who have been here before. My SO and I just want to make sure our baby is healthy and we want to be prepared for what's to come. Sorry this is so long!
Tl;dr: Doctor seemed cool at first, doesn't seem to care much now, is this normal?
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2012.06.02 13:44 noorgasmos Have vaginismus, can´t cum from clit stimulation, boyfriend not into oral, super frustrated

I don´t know a lot about my vagina. I was brought up religious and internalized the idea of my genitals being completely off limits until marriage. I used to think about sex and get aroused a lot when I was younger...before puberty, after puberty, and knowing I felt something happening down there but didn´t understand and thought it was wrong to explore. In the past year or so I´ve been attempting to sexually liberate myself. I´ve shed my religion, gotten over the guilt of porn and masturbation, started listening to Dan Savage, only to arrive at my first big-girl-sexual-experience to find out that I cannot be penetrated. Whoops.
The first time I ever masturbated I was 18, accidentally came across a porn video, which made me curious to look up another, then another and another until the feeling got so strong I squeezed my legs together until I came. Three years later, I have been threw this same practice hundreds of times and it is the only way I´ve ever been able to get myself off.
I have tried fingering myself, but with having vaginismus (I´m self-diagnosing, have gone to a gyno who told me everything was normal even though the exam hurt like a bitch even when she used the pediatric probe, and I just needed to relax) it just feels like my vagina is about an inch or two deep, and putting a finger anywhere near my vagina can sometimes feel kind of good, but does nothing to bring me anywhere close to an orgasm.
I only learned what the clitoris was about a year ago. This may sound ridiculous...but I had no idea that it even existed, and thought ¨clit¨ was a synonym for ¨vagina.¨ Since learning, I have tried playing with my clit, and it does feel good, but no matter how much I play with it I cannot have an orgasm.
I started seeing a new guy about two months ago. We fell really hard for each other, I get butterflies in my stomach every time I see him, get super wet just from kissing him, never felt this way before about anyone...but as you can imagine the sex is terrible. I used to give my previous boyfriend oral a lot, like A LOT, because it turns out I love sucking dick. I would suck dick all day if I could.
This new guy is one of these rare (god, I hope they´re rare) guys that has no interest in blow jobs, or hand jobs, or any combination of the two. He basically does not want me to touch his dick at all unless it´s with the inside of my vagina. He has begrudgingly let me blow him a few times, but always ends up rolling his eyes and telling me he´s sorry but he just doesn´t like it.
We´ve tried penetration a lot. He can fuck about two or so inches of my vagina, but if he hits a certain point it hurts really bad. This is really tricky, because if I do it correctly I can get him off without it hurting, or with just a few ¨owww¨s that I put up with because I love making him cum, but this does nothing to get me anywhere toward orgasm.
He plays with my clit a lot with his hand/fingers but this also cannot make me cum. It feels good, can even feel amazing, but brings me nowhere near orgasm.
So usually our sex life is like this: we´ll mess around, both get super horny, he´ll penetrate what he can of my vagina and cum, he´ll try to get me off with his hand either before or after (or both) the penetration. I tell him I haven´t cum and am nowhere close, we give up and that´s that.
Like I´ve said, I´ve tried using my own hand to get myself off both with him there and by myself (only a few times with him, a lot by myself). The only thing that ever works is squeezing my legs together really hard (which I´ve never done while with him or any other guy). I do like just messing around with him, the foreplay is really enjoyable and I do like making him cum when I can. But it´s very frustrating for both of us. The last time we were messing around, he had his hand down my pants for about half an hour, I told him I was nowhere near orgasm and he finally screamed in frustration, ¨I don´t know what you want!!!¨
I do want him to try going down on me to see if that will do it, but he doesn´t want to. He did go down on me as foreplay the first few times we had sex, but always over my underwear, and very briefly. I´ve asked him too a few times, but he tells me he doesn´t want to unless I´ve just taken a shower. One of these times I had taken a shower about an hour ago, but he told me that he didn´t want to unless I had just come out of the shower. I don´t know if he´s had bad experiences with smelly vaginas in the past or if he just doesn´t want to and is making up some silly reason not to. Is it even possible him giving me oral would make me cum if using fingers does not?
So I´m at a loss. The shitty thing is is that my libidio is very high. I masturbate a lot, like multiple times a day, but the past month or so that I´ve been seeing this guy I´ve been trying to stop, at least cut back dramatically, because I don´t want this to be so goddamn ingrained in my brain as the only way I can reach orgasm, and I also have a theory that this maybe be part of the problem with the vaginismus that every time I get horny my vagina´s instinct is to clamp together.
WHY REDDIT WHY. I feel like this is such a weird sexual problem to have and have no idea what to do.
TL;DR: Physically can´t be penetrated, can´t come from playing with clit, boyfriend not into giving or receiving oral, super horny, can only cum from squeezing my legs together. What can I do?
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2010.09.17 17:05 Kyoti First gyno exam video

I had my first consult for an IUD scheduled on August 11th with my normal gynecologist. Since I'm 22 and I've never had children, he was very wary and strongly advised against me having the procedure, especially since he himself had never inserted one in a non-mother. He mentioned that their office had been having difficulty being reimbursed by insurance for the device so they require the patient to order it and bring it in and then bill insurance themselves for the device, which is something I'd rather not do. He gave me the name and number of a doctor who stocks the devices and who might be able to perform it on me despite never having given birth.
I called the doctor that my normal gyno had suggested and was informed that I would need a referral from my primary care doctor before I could schedule a consult with them. I have no idea why I wasn't told this before I scheduled my consult with the first doctor, but I called my primary and scheduled an appointment for August 17th. I was curious as to why I needed to have a consult on a different day from the procedure and the second gyno's office said that it was because they needed to verify that I am a good candidate for the procedure and then they contact my insurance to see if it's covered; this seemed odd to me, but they said they couldn't do it any other way.
My appointment with my primary physician was super easy. I peed in a cup to make sure I wasn't pregnant, they got my height, weight, temperature, pulse, blood pressure, etc; all the basics. The doctor came in and asked me why I was there, I explained that even though I don't have any kids I think the IUD is my best option at this time and that I've read that there are often more complications with non-mothers having it done. Basically I let her know that I've done my research and I know what's going on. She wrote down a couple things (one of which I believe was that I had no signs of any STD, she took my word for that) and said they'd fax over a referral to the gyno of my choice. I got a call back from the gyno's office that same day saying they had received the referral and I scheduled my consult for August 30th.
My consult with the second doctor went amazingly smooth. The doctor came in, I told her I wanted an IUD and gave her some information about how long my partner and I have been together and that we're certain we don't want kids, and in less than 5 minutes she said "ok, I can do that." She said it would take up to a week for my insurance company to approve the procedure than about 3 to 5 days for the device to be received by their office. She told me to take 600 to 800mg Ibuprofen before I come in for the insertion. She said that most people feel well enough to go back to work the next day but I ended up having my insertion scheduled for a Friday just because it was available. I asked her how often she did IUD insertion and how often they were on non-mothers and she said she had just performed an insertion for a non-mother the day before, so I was comfortable with that answer.
Within two days I got a call from my doctor's office; they had gotten the approval from my insurance for the procedure and they had ordered the device, so I scheduled my insertion for Friday, September 17th at 8AM. I was told to have a good breakfast beforehand and to take my pain killers. I was told that my previous gyno hadn't done a gonorrhea or chlamydia test for my recent pap so I had to stop by and do a little pee test. I would suggest that if you have to do this, don't do it first thing in the morning unless you plan on: 1) having coffee or 2) not peeing when you wake up; it was really hard for me to squeeze out enough for them to use, even though I'd had coffee. I was surprised when she said that I could not have vaginal intercourse for one week before the procedure, but the lady explained that there can't be any risk of live sperm in my vagina since they'll be opening the way right into my uterus. She said that I could do non-penis-in-vagina intercourse without any issues, though, which gives us an excuse to play with some toys and do other fun things. The assistant suggested I continue using the pill for 5 weeks after the insertion just in case but the doctor said that I could have sex without any other birth control method in about 2 days, so I trusted her.
Two days before my insertion I decided I wanted to know what it would look like if I were watching the IUD being inserted. I searched on YouTube and found this (obviously NSFW) video. I was terrified when I saw the cervix being sounded and the blood came out, but I realized that the entry was basically being forced open and a little blood is to be expected.
I woke up at 7, took 800mg of ibuprofen and had a good breakfast (bacon and egg burrito with a glass of orange juice, mmm). At 7:45AM today I was at the doctor's office. I signed in and left my urine sample so that they could make sure I hadn't gotten pregnant in the few weeks since I last saw them. I'm glad I had a pretty early appointment, I didn't pee when I woke up and I had to go really bad by the time I got to the doctor's office. I was called into the exam room a little after 8, I stripped from the waist down and the doctor came in a few minutes later. She told me as she was putting in the speculum and attaching the tenaculum to my cervix. When she was attaching the tenaculum it felt as if my cervix were being bitten but it wasn't very bad. She didn't sound my cervix/uterus and instead just put the device in there. When she inserted it I inadvertently yelled "FFFFFFUUUUUUUUCK" and squeezed my honey's hand. It's very difficult to describe the feeling of having it inserted but I imagine it would feel somewhat similar to a urethral sounding and it went a lot deeper than I had expected it to. It only took about 30 to 45 seconds to insert the device, she unclamped the tenaculum and snipped my strings, then told me to stay put for a couple minutes until the nurse said I was ready to sit up but I think that was just so she could close all the drawers that had been opened from under the exam table. She had me feel the clipped strings so I could identify them later, they felt like slightly softened fishing line and she told me they would soften more over time. She handed me a panty liner and told me to make a follow-up appointment with the front desk for 5 weeks from today.
I've now been home for about an hour and a half. About 30 minutes after my insertion I got moderate cramps, now I've mostly had minor cramps or no cramps at all. I felt like I was starving by the time I got home though so I had a little snack.
After I do my follow-up I'll make another post. Feel free to ask my any questions :-)
End of day update
Today I've felt pretty tired all day, I took about a half hour nap at noon and fell asleep for about 5 minutes while my honey was making dinner. The cramps have persisted all day but they're pretty minor and the bleeding is about the same as a normal spotting day, I took 400mg more of ibuprofen with lunch and I've changed my panty liner about 3 times. I think I probably would have been fine to go to work today but I'm still happy I took the day off. I'll do another post after I've had my follow-up appointment.
Part two here
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