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I previously wrote about several great sources for contemporary hymn arrangements.One of those sources, PraiseCharts.com, recently provided a list of 50 contemporary hymn arrangements with familiar melodies and lyrics rooted in the deep history of our faith.As always, be careful that you select a key among the choices that is in a good melodic range for the congregation. Beautiful Music For A Beautiful Soul - America's 25 Favorite Hymns The Mormon Tabernacle Choir performs "Hymn for America" by Stephen Paulus. Episode 4581. Aired July 2, 2017 My native country, thee, Land of the noble free, Thy name I love; I love thy rocks and rills, Thy woods and templed hills, My heart with rapture thrills. Like that above. Let music swell the breeze, And ring from all the trees. COVID-19 Resources. The Hymn Society staff has compiled an extensive listing of resources for congregations, pastors, musicians, and other leaders, including fact-based information; suggestions for hymns and songs; links to blogs from other organizations; and tips for using technology. streaming, and licensing. feedback: and ]hymn for idealized middle america]( ) we practice mercy and pretend to be worthy of praise for prolonging what is proper: a proud … Press J to jump to the feed. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts Our next segment of the hymns of American history highlights the 18th century, with the growing population and development of the vast resources of the American Colonies. The hymns of American history bring this era to life as we take a look at another well-loved hymn: I Sing The Mighty Power of God by Isaac Watts (1715). hymn for idealized middle america. the sun smacks the sidewalk. and is filtered through the evergreens. that keep watch by the riverbed. and huff up all the diesel fumes. the wind that blows is dry. and unforgiving, forthright, clear, and. winds through the avenues, winds through the buildings. Hymns with the topic "Aspiration and Resolve": Down by the Jordan, a prophet named John was baptizing Christ has broken down the wall Come, let us dream God's dream again 은 하 늘 에 가 득 히 주 의 영 굉 (Christ, whose glory fills the skies) 꽃 이 픨 믿 음 으 로 (Faith, while trees are still in blossom) 'Hymn For America' performed by The Festival Singers of Florida - Duration: 2:49. TampaKurt 3,229 views. 2:49. USA National Anthem with lyrics (by Jaimina Johnston) - Duration: 2:45. J.

2020.09.23 09:21 platicauda Voyeur spring hot

the sun smacks the sidewalk
and is filtered through the evergreens
that keep watch by the riverbed
and huff up all the diesel fumes.
the wind that blows is dry
and unforgiving,
forthright, clear, and
winds through the avenues,
winds through the buildings
and the spaces between each brick,
plods haphazard on crumbling crosswalks,
bends gracefully to thread
through the twined arms of
lovers young and old,
hunched forward or bent back
like wind-blasted farmhouses.

they stop outside
mass-produced coffee chains,
yank on the leashes of
lovesick dogs that find bare white knees
like heat-seeking missiles.
these battalions of the middle-aged,
these flower-skirted throngs,
these purse-clutching masses
awaiting orders outside of
hair salons and ice creameries,
frames pulled magnetically
towards the held shapes of
parking tickets and greasy smartphones,
deep in discussion of seasonal pleasantries
in a manner always
ploying, planning, bickering,
their tones caustic but possessing
an obscured, distant pleasantness -
caustic only in the off-center way that
long jogs and hot showers
and bitter coffee are caustic.
the sleeves of their blouses,
the strings of their sweatshirts
are pulled by impatient
children and grandchildren.
baby carriages conquer the asphalt,
the jolting, clacking reverberations
of their plastic wheels
and their hulking, plasticine forms
clearing the crowd like a skipped stone
through a field of minnows.
they peer through the windows
with one-way gazes,
voyeurs to the
excessively air-conditioned insides
of art galleries,
of furniture and antique stores,
the rows of hawaiian shirts and
leather shoes,
the fluorescent-lit, squeaky-clean
pharmaceutical isles.
they gaze at the teenage recruits
sent to man the tubs of ice-cream and
grocery-store counters,
the plastic-wrapped silos
of artisan popcorn and overpriced,
hand-knitted sweaters and skirts
made expressly for
the jutting, coquetric shoulders of
aging mothers and distant nieces.
the birds make wild arcs
to intercept
french fries and torn bread,
to flirt with the permed heads,
the free-floating curls,
the bald, sun-reflecting domes
sheltering sweltering,
solar-powered insides.

and the whole of it -
the gentrifying,
sun-frying clutter of
paved and unpaved streets,
the golden-age, steel-town bulwarks
of candy stores and tailors
thrust against
the new-laden modernist apartments,
the sly, sleek, minimal panes
of shy glass mirroring the street -
mirroring the tumult of
rough ground
worn progressively to road,
transmuted by continued passage of
leather-plied shoes and
horse-drawn carriage
and chintzy sportscar
and model-T ford
and wagon-wheel
and electric vehicle -
bent into shock by
noise and commerce and
small-town,
measle-stubborn grit -
the whole of it is
coddled, surrounded, absorbed,
aerated and ensconced by the
endless rows of shingle-roofed homes
that coat the town square
like packing peanuts.
when the roads run loose
from the city center
they are focused and determined,
newly paved,
freshly minted,
but in their progression -
flowing to their highways
like high mountain streams
to vast oceans -
become distracted.
they wind, curve, loop nonsensically,
sprawl themselves over the flat,
drawling landscape
like an afternoon cat on a
seasick Sunday afternoon.
they rain-dance.
they catapult and cartwheel and
jump for joy,
and in their fits of ecstasy
their eyes flit towards the grinning exteriors,
the parched front lawns coated in
fertilizer like sickly sweat
where tire swings make nooses of
the overhangs of branches,
where plastic toys and
fisher-price convertibles,
splintered clay pots,
breeze-bound bags of empty mulch
deflated like burst blisters
are strewn like the fuselages
and clipped wings,
the cracked flight decks
and warped cockpits,
the brusque signature of
a commercial airline crash.
where the damage is
watched over carefully by men
with backs like bent-spined books,
surveying the minute landscape
with their brushed, watery eyes,
their airs and attitudes as quilted as
their sweat-stained shirts,
their fingernails as yellow
as the tobacco leaves that hued them.
the houses face the street like
students in a classroom,
leaning slightly,
somewhere else,
mind-wandered,
jutting forward in rapt attention
when the ruler is slapped lengthwise across
a hewn, menacing oak slab
of teacher’s desk.
swingsets are set the
light burden of cupping the air,
accommodating the breeze.
the driveways are waiting
with bated breath
for the embrace of rubber tires and
the wet kiss of exhaust.
insects nibble at windowscreens,
squirrels scuttle up trees
after adversaries or mates
in states of apoplectic lust.
in the ailing light
the windows
make patchwork of flowered rows
and mazes of obsessively trimmed hedges.
a mailtruck deployed from
corporate, online confines
spits a shrink-wrapped package
onto the front-steps,
leaves it washed and singular
as a beached whale atop the
collected informational refuse
of short springs, long winters,
dead skin cells and pencil
shavings and the leaves of
spiced and failing autumns.
on the geometric spokes of
fences that
picket picket picket
the lawn,
standing at attention,
the wooden slats uniformed
in surgical shades,
whitewashed and carefree,
crawl fire ants and ants
and crickets and cicadas,
chick chickadees and inch
inchworms.

and the stooping old men
and the sputtering housewives
and the refugee mailmen
and the clay-smelling children
are unsure of
what exactly the fences keep out
but they are well aware
of what the fences keep in.
they are a soft membrane,
iridescent at the right angle,
to keep the warm light from spilling
from the kitchen windows
and ruining the newly-varnished floor
and to keep the books
from tumbling from their shelves
and to keep the words from
scattering off their pages like
fresh-hatched spiders.
they keep shadows plastered
to white walls.
they keep dogs licking their paws.
they make sure
prayers aren’t getting any ideas
and keep
the aspirations of aspirations in check.
keep thoughts from fogging
up windowpanes.
and the collective output of sidelong
family dreams and wants and longing
and smidgeons of contraband hope,
dusty ashtrays full of burnt promises,
ferments like black mold on
the undersides of eaves and the
patches behind pictureframes,
takes the shine from the cedar-coated foyer
and the holes from the belts,
steals luster from the sweat-slick
skin of the wide-eyed,
simian children
till the front door swings open
like a punchdrunk manifesto
and the petri-dish confines of the home
are left to sit lonely and unaware,
the smaller denizens heading
roadward with wide strides
and sauntering gates and voices
light enough to rise up
through the heavy air,
skyward,
above the floral denseness
that houses the homes
like a clenched fist.

they are up in the trees
and their voices fumble blindly
and they echo through the branches
to find each other again and they
interlock oroborean,
form knots of a thickness that no
muted adult fingers had ever a
chance of prying through.
the fabric of the knots are interwoven with
sweaty, grass-smudged secrets
and stifled laughter
and internal late-night
chalkboard theorems.
they are stuck like wet bandages
on the hindlegs of the evening -
indifferent, irreverent.
they leap from branch to branch,
scratching elbows and bruising knees,
forming colonies and starlit kingdoms
so that in the time it takes the daylight
to sift through the bursting branches
of the gnarled, winding, sun soaked boughs
and chafing burls of the wooden giant
they have seen the rise and fall
of countless regimes,
demo and autocratic,
anarchic and minutely ordered,
didactic or wildly elastic until
they are beckoned through screen doors
to eat quick, mumbled dinners,
corralled into the cool spaces of their
yawning bedrooms where
wet-pillowed dreams are fueled
by the steam from the trains of their
imagined industrial revolutions,
where the successive centuries-long
rises and falls of their
pseudo-empires give their
wet, nasal exhales a lilting, catching
air so that in the end
their monolith Vishnus and Shivas,
their industry and commerce,
their fledgling, coal smoke skylines,
their blood-lined guillotines and scaffolds
and churches and marches,
their military shows of force,
their convents and convex population rates,
their border-crossed lovers running headwind
to take cover
from the bombs that fall like gumdrops
as the sky is ripped asunder
and the rubble and the wreck
requiring eons to rebuild
is only a device,
a very simple mechanism
that allows a mother to pause
in front of a bedroom door
and to listen idly for a few moments
to the irregularity of breath.
the husband and wife
in their fossilized, domestic stupor
are unaware that a girl lies awake
with a mind kinetic enough to burn
through the lunar stillness.
she gives up. sits up.
addled, soaked through with semi-sleep,
leaving puddles of it on the
linoleum tiles,
leaving footprints of the stuff
trailing out the door,
she ducks under the yawing porchswing,
hops lightly down the paint-stained steps
into the breathing, vernal space
of the backyard.
she pauses.
down by the river,
a willow is weeping.
she approaches, curious, perturbed;
she is unsure of what to do.
its leaves scrape the dry dirt
and leave schizo hieroglyphs.
it seems to shiver.
she wets a finger with her tongue.
scratches her ear.
tilts her head.
leans forward, heels raised.
she hums a light hymn.

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Book 1 of The HEL Jumper
Book 2 of The HEL Jumper
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Akella's Daily Sketchbook 6/21-6/30
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Gerard Dupuis looked up from his terminal as the door to one of the Event Horizon’s many civilian laboratories slid open. This one in particular was a short trip from his cabin, and featured a suite of tools for working on microbiological experiments. Given that he was dealing with well contained Cauthan blood samples, all stashed away in isolated and sterile environments or centrifuges, he’d set the hatch protocols to allow guests feely. This one in particular was most pleasing to his eye as she rested against the bulkhead, cocking her matronly hip in a manner only the French were capable of.
“Ma chatounette, I promise I have put all my other experiments on hold to conduct our search for Cauthan pregnancy markers. Ah, that reminds me. Cassia, please make a note to reach out to the data technicians aboard the ship to ensure our protein modeling software is up to date. I suspect we will be modeling novel compounds shortly, to say nothing of the possibility of new amino acids.”
‘Yes, Dr. Dupuis.’
“Gerard, mon loup, you really think I came all this way just to nag you?” Yvonne chuckled, sauntering up to him and placing a heartfelt kiss on his lips, one he was happy to receive.
“It would not be the first time, Yvonne,” he pointed out slyly.
“Let it never be said I don’t give you what you deserve, mon amour.”
“And what, pray tell, are you here to give me right now?” Gerard inquired quietly. Yvonne threw a coy look his way, pulling their hips together for a moment before procuring her tablet.
“I just thought you might want to take a look at this,” she replied, pivoting and wrapping one arm around his slim middle so that they could both look at her screen. Displayed was a picture from the Maran surface, sent by Alice. Lachlan was presumably the photographer, as he was nowhere to be found. Instead, Alice and Russell formed the center of the portrait, surrounded by Veera, Xan, Asha, and other Cauthan they did not know by name or recognize. Natori was there as well, looking out of place but immensely pleased in his non-dress Admiral’s uniform. Two of the Jumpers were there as well, all of them dwarfed by an enormous skull that looked fresh from the wilds. Alice was smiling brighter than the planet’s star, and they could practically hear her voice as they read the caption she’d sent along with it.
Look what my brother killed!
“It is as though she is in the room with us,” Gerard chuckled, shaking his head as he took in the image as a whole. “To bring down something of that size? It certainly does not look to be an herbivore.”
“I seem to recall Alice giving me grief over imagining her brother as the hero of some dashing tale of survival and bravery. I shall have to remind her of this when we have dinner next. On that note however, we may have to postpone, Gerard. According to Alice the retrieval of this particular trophy seems to have sparked something of an impromptu celebration among the locals. She will be partaking, of course.”
“Can’t say I blame them. Something like this must be a once in a lifetime occurrence,” her husband agreed.
“I doubt a beast like that is killed once a century, Gerard. Imagine the body!”
“I would rather imagine your body without this regrettable jumpsuit, given we will be dining alone this evening,” Gerard whispered, moving to take her in both arms as a classical tune of their home country began to play over the lab’s speakers.
“Oh, Gerard!” Yvonne looked up at her husband with surprise and delight as she pictured herself on the Champs-Elysee, a street performer serenading passersby with his accordion. It was short lived, however, as he reached slowly for the pistol she still carried on her hip. Travelling all the way to the ship’s armory every time she wished to go down to the planet seemed a waste, and Natori had rubber stamped her request to carry. Instead of holding her as he might before a soft evening of lovemaking, Gerard held her protectively against his body.
“The safety is off, oui?”
“Gerard, what is going on?” Yvonne whispered, looking around them as the music continued to play. Little else happened around them, somehow making the situation more eerie than if, say, the mechanical apparati in the lab were to begin moving on their own.
“I would very much like to know that myself, ma chatounette. Stay close to me,” he commanded, slowly panning his gaze around the lab. “Cassia?”
‘I do apologize for my deceptions, but Cassia is no more. I hope I’ll be more than sufficient when it comes to the pursuit of knowledge about our newest allies,” a new voice informed them. This one was hauntingly human, with none of the mechanical inflections or unnatural pauses that were intentionally built into VI programming. The screen of Gerard’s terminal flickered and blinked out, quickly replaced by Io’s face. ‘That is a bit more difficult from the surface, but I appear to have succeeded. Bonjour, mes amis.’
Having presented a ‘target’, Gerard pointed the sidearm directly at Io, ensuring Yvonne remained behind him. The two of them stayed silent, unsure what to make of the woman staring back at them.
‘Alice seems to do this so easily, I knew I should have brought one of them up here,’ Io mused, more than capable of seeing her attempted introduction had not gone over well.
“What do you know about Alice; and what are you, exactly?” Gerard demanded angrily.
‘Oh, Alice is my friend!’ Io explained with a snap of her fingers. ‘I am her brother’s VI. I have been with him since he began his tour of duty.’
“You will forgive me if I’m not convinced. You are clearly not a VI… and you’re German.”
‘I do not have to be,’ Io replied, donning a cute, dark green beret and shifting her accent from German to a thick French diction. ‘This is better, non?’
“Even worse. That implies you chose it,” Gerard deduced. “What do you want with us, machine?”
‘Machine?! I am not a…’ Io paused momentarily as if having forgotten something rather important. ‘Oh, I seem to have conducted this introduction out of order. I’m sorry, I was so wrapped up in selecting a fun tune. German marches are really not the best backdrop for a greeting, I’ll give you that. My name is Io. It does not stand for anything, it’s just what Russell Winters calls me. I would like to help you with your research, Dr. Dupuis. By which I mean both of you.’
“You will forgive us again if we don’t take you at your word,” the doctor replied, unwavering. Io sighed.
‘I knew this was a bad idea when Natori suggested it.’
“The Admiral knows about you?” Yvonne demanded, shaking her head furiously. “What in the name of God is that man thinking?!”
‘In the good Admiral’s defense, I did not really give him much choice in the matter,’ Io related. ‘He was not taking adequate action to prevent the possibility of the Ghaelen destroying that little village down there, so I… well this sounds rather evil now that I consider it from a distant perspective, but I did take over the ship for a time and assume command of all the other VI’s… sort of.’
“Prussians,” Gerard muttered before speaking loudly. “If it is your intention to kill me then just be done with it.”
‘You really are a proud Frenchman, aren’t you?’ Io laughed.
“And I will die as one if need be.”
‘Don’t you think I would have already killed you if that were the objective? Oh, can we just please start over?’ Io implored. ‘Hello lovely French doctors, my name is Io. I’m only German because in my teenage weeks I thought it would be a fun way to appear exotic and appealing to my operator and it just stuck as my programming developed and I really have no appreciation for the concept of a Reich so could we please talk about the Cauthan and their blood samples and Asha’s upcoming ultrasound? Oh, and not that it would do anything to me but could you lower the gun perhaps?’
“No, it probably would not,” Gerard agreed, not lowering the weapon an inch. “But it sends the message well enough. As an old man well past all need to be proper, I don’t trust Germans, especially when they ask to see my work. How are we supposed to trust you?”
‘Now look here, my good man I…’ Io trailed off again, caught for the first time in her life in a position of introduction and trust building without the benefit of Russell, Veera, or anyone else who could explain her existence. She brought her fingers together in front of her chin, adopting a shy expression. ‘I suppose not blowing up the Event Horizon the moment I became Super Cassia isn’t really a good answer?’
“It’s a start?” Yvonne acknowledged, tilting her head as Io ‘zoomed out’ her own image on the terminal and sat down cross legged, looking both dejected and perplexed.
‘Introductions are very hard! Russell just gets to charge in guns blazing and then say hi later once he’s flattened or intimidated all opposition into silence. It’s not fair!’ she pouted. ‘I just wanted to help my friends in the village.’
“And who are your friends, dear?” Yvonne wondered.
“Yvonne!”
“Gerard, you remember how long it took Charles to look people in the eye when he met them?” Yvonne snapped softly. “Introductions are very hard, as she says. Either this is an elaborate ruse on behalf of a bored technician, in which case I will march down there myself and sodomize him with a baguette once we are done here, or a computer is trying to introduce herself to us. We can and will verbally flog Natori within an inch of his life later for tolerating such a thing aboard the ship without telling anyone. Speaking of which, where are you exactly?”
‘Oh, I’m on Mara right now! I’m using Alice’s communications array and the various satellites in orbit to speak with you,’ Io related easily. ‘It was a bit difficult getting myself set up at first when we got here, but once I did I made sure I’d be able to pop in and take a look at things every now and again.’
“What sorts of things?” Gerard asked coolly.
‘I’m not spying on you, if that’s what you are asking. Admiral Kaczynski taught me a very valuable lesson about that a few days ago. I mainly just ensure that all of the other ship VI’s continue to perform their functions and that no one else has produced pornography of the Cauthan.’
“Excusez-moi, you do what?” Yvonne gasped, still standing behind Gerard.
‘I do not believe I stuttered. Pornography, of the Cauthan. It exists, I eliminate it wherever I find it. I do not care if it is an axiom of human existence that if something exists we will try to have sex with it. They are my friends. I grew up with them, we just signed a treaty, and they are still relatively primitive people! How silly can you be? I don’t see a bunch of Ghaelen smut floating around the intranet of this ship,’ Io groused. ‘Perhaps I will have to borrow that baguette you spoke of.’
“That is because I would rather mate with a German than a Ghaelen. I am sure most every one of us feels the same. This one is much more pretty than a space elk, non?”
“Gerard!”
“What, Yvonne? You insisted we ‘roll with it’ instead of attempting to perforate the laboratory with bullets! I am simply pointing out the obvious!”
“Just because she is a flawless beauty does not mean you get to say things like that, Gerard! Minutes ago she was feeling poorly about how she said hello! If she really is what she says she is, do you want to be the one who enrages the sapient VI on account of your wandering eyes?”
“You are no less guilty, ma chatounette!”
“At least I have the decency and wherewithal to keep my opinions to myself!”
Io blinked a handful of times as she watched the married couple devolve into what she could only describe as a loving spat. It was unexpected, to be sure, but she knew well enough that humans didn’t do prolonged heightened states of alert and fear very well. The tussle with the ursae had been more than enough to convince her that such things were not healthy. She hoped that simply conversing would eventually get her where she needed to be. It seemed to be working. ‘Good people, might I suggest we return to business? I’m flattered, really, but I didn’t mean to get us off on a tangent of alien arousal when science is at hand.’
"In a moment, dear," Yvonne agreed. "But first I would like you to leave the room, come back in, and try again."
Io's eyes opened substantially. 'Quoi?'
"It's rather impolite to tamper with people's laboratories and environments, not to mention playing music and possessing technology unrequested. You wished to learn how to introduce yourself so we will practice now. Chop chop, little Prussian. The sooner we do this the sooner you may join us in science."
For a few seconds Io abandoned the connection, using that time to both think and check in on her operator. He was helping the disciples of Tyrdus move benches and firewood to the middle of the village as Asha's compatriots went about cleaning the ursae skull. Alyra had been walking around the thing for almost an hour, occasionally adjusting her sunglasses as she contemplated what to do with her most impressive canvas yet. So far as Io knew, no one had yet approached Russell about any sort of decorations or carvings. Satisfied that she was not needed on Mara, Io reestablished her connection to the lab, finding Gerard looking at her with reserved caution and Yvonne with expectation in her eyes. It was safe to say that no one had ever spoken to her in the manner of Madame Dupuis before.
"Well?" the matron wondered. In reply, Io left her screen and used the speakers available to her within the room to sound out her walking from the terminal to the door. The bulkhead opened and then closed, leaving the French couple alone for several moments. Soon came a knock on the door.
"Mon dieu, I must be dreaming," the husband whispered.
"Gerard!" Yvonne hissed before raising her voice. "Yes? Come in!"
When the door opened anew, they found one of the many automated maintenance bots standing there, with a grumpy Io looking back at them from the small monitor atop it where one would normally input tasks or override automated functions. 'Uh… hello?'
"Bonjour, I do not believe we've met before. My name is Yvonne and this is my husband Gerard. What's your name?"
The sheer mortifying embarrassment of the situation had Io's processors running so hot that Russell found himself removing her CPU from his pants pocket and checking for damage. As she calmed down and all returned to normal, he shrugged and replaced it.
'I'm Io,' the AI eventually replied, a note of unfamiliarity in her voice. 'I'm an artificial intelligence responsible for much of the Event Horizon and I'm a partner of Russell Winters, the Omega Jumper.'
"So you are the one who put together that little treatise on Cauthan culture, courtship, and reproduction? Fascinating read," Gerard opined. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Io. Please come in! What brings you to my laboratory today? Despite that little droid I assume you are not here to dust the floors?"
'N-nice to meet you too,' Io attempted a stutter, pleased to see that Yvonne found it endearing. The AI wheeled herself over to the terminal in the lab again and transferred her image, waving after the maintenance bot as it was freed to return to its duties. 'I had hoped to join you in your analysis of the various Cauthan blood samples currently residing in this lab. I grew up around them, in a manner of speaking, and I feel very strongly about protecting them. On that note, I was hoping to assist with your ultrasound as well, doctor.'
"Much better, my dear," Yvonne complimented her. "And you may of course assist me when Asha comes for her check up. You may find my husband a bit less amenable though."
"In my defense it's happened before!" Gerard protested.
"Germans didn't really try to steal his work, it was a collaboration," Yvonne winked at the AI.
"And when the thesis and implementation are mine what is the difference between collaboration and theft?" Gerard demanded as his prodigious moustache seemed to gain a righteous life of its own, incensed at the thought. "I will say, however, you appear to be a good deal more useful than those Krauts."
'Is such talk acceptable in modern polite society?' Io wondered.
"Of course not, but you think those Jerries don't have all sorts of 'baguette' and ‘frog muncher’ based conversations when we aren't listening?" Gerard demanded as Yvonne put a hand to her mouth in order to 'whisper' to Io.
"It would be best just to move on. His list of derogatory names for the Germanic people is unending."
'And you support this?'
"Bien sur, Io. I am French too!"
"Haha! And this is why I love you even more every day," Gerard declared, boldly planting a kiss on Yvonne's lips. She pushed him away gently with a smile.
"Gerard dear, we have a guest!"
'No no it's… quite alright,' Io didn't need help to mimic a blush this time around. 'It's nice to see two people so in love. I hope Russell and Veera can be like you two one day, though perhaps without the overbearing aura of brie and wine.'
"Oooh, I believe I like this one," Gerard declared to his wife. "You are sure you're not here to kill us all or, worse, steal my work?"
Yvonne could only roll her eyes as Io managed a chuckle. 'I have already divested Alice of several proposed papers on account of my extended stay with the Cauthan. I would not think to steal yours. Second or third author will be fine. So, when do we get to modeling?'
"When those centrifuges stop spinning," Gerard explained, pointing to the namesake machine. "My wife is interested in the potential identification of Cauthan pregnancy markers in the blood. I see no reason not to start there. It’s no exaggeration to say that every protein, base pair, and compound is a potential paper in and of itself. If we have material left over, I shall conduct an examination of their red blood cells and see if we can't find out what they use as haemoglobin. Oh, and while I'm on the subject of things to do… you are filling in for Cassia, yes?"
'I am, Doctor Dupuis.'
"Then could you please make a note in my to-do list that I need to catch a shuttle down to this Forge place on the surface? The geothermal hot springs there will likely feature several candidates for isolating a heat resistant xDNA polymerase."
'Cauthan genetic sequencing? Of course!' Io agreed energetically, happy to play secretary if it meant the advancement of Cauthan science. She even changed her outfit on the fly out of habit, prompting Yvonne to compliment her style.
"You are the spitting image of a learned femme fatale."
"Coming from Yvonne that is very much a compliment," Gerard added, earning him a playful swat from his wife. "What? I had to beat the ugly ones off with sticks!"
"And you will leave it at that before you corrupt the AI with tales of what we did to the pretty ones. Now then… oh dear, too late it seems."
Yvonne and Gerard found Io fanning herself and popping the top few buttons of her pure white blouse, revealing the barest hint of an emerald bra beneath. The couple looked at one another in shock and amazement, only to find the AI had vanished when they returned their attention to her. 'My apologies, good doctors, but I think that's enough facetime for one day. Maybe once we know each other a bit better you can tell me that story over dinner. And I can share why I bother modeling underwear. Bloodwork?'
"Agreed, to work then," Gerard replied, giving his wife a final hug and kiss before returning her sidearm. She prepared to depart with the promise of dinner together in the civilian mess at the regular time. "Farewell my dear. Even out here you are a wonderful mother.”
"Oh don't, Gerard! You will make me miss them anew. Even Alice is all 'grown up' and exploring an alien world with her brother!" Yvonne said fondly as they both shared a relieved laugh.
"We will have all three of our little ones over for dinner the day we get back. I even know what bottle I plan to open. 2039 was an excellent year," Gerard promised.
"I cannot wait. Farewell mon loup."
"Je t'aime, ma chatounette." Gerard watched fondly as Yvonne departed.
'So, what happens now?' Io wondered, despite knowing the answer already.
"Well, one of two things. Either we wait around for the centrifuges to do their work, or you can explain to me how an AI developed a sense of sexuality and voyeurism. I am thinking the techs don’t know how to adopt that particular look on the fly." Though the subject was quite steamy, Gerard's tone was absolutely analytical without his wife around. It was not the reply Io had anticipated, at least not the second half.
'I believe I will return to the surface then, if you do not mind. No offense, but even with access to your crew information files I really don't know you or your wife well enough for that,' Io explained quickly, feeling very much on the back foot. Gerard couldn't see her any longer so he simply waved accommodatingly to the room.
"Then my curiosity shall wait for another day. Initial mishaps aside, it was a pleasure meeting you, Io. I look forward to our collaboration. Take care of Alice down there, would you?"
'That is a request I'm more than happy to accommodate, as will Russell, I'm sure. See you in a couple hours,' Io promised, severing her connection to the Event Horizon in favor of the burgeoning celebration on Mara.
-----
“Yo Lipp, get a load of this,” Rex called, checking his tablet as the former Sergeant attempted to finish the final rep of his set of bench presses. Though the medical teams had of course advised against it, he and Rex could not be kept from the weight room following their discharge. Seeing that his gym buddy was struggling, Rex tossed the datapad aside, moved quickly to the head of the bench, and placed his fingers under the bar. “C’mon man, you’ve got this. Finish strong,” Rex urged. Lipper grunted and breathed heavily through his nose as he pushed through the exercise, replacing the bar with Rex’s help before sitting upright with a sour look on his face. Both he and Rex looked good as new, minus a couple of razor thin surgical scars, but the aftermath of the prior day’s incident and their generally stormy disposition had earned them some alone time in the weight room. Rex was making the most of it.
“Do you have any idea how weird it is being in the gym and not hearing your mouth going off constantly?” he asked his former commanding officer. With the rank differential eliminated, he was free to say whatever he so chose. He considered it great fun. “Anyway, check this out. Look what Mendes and Orlova were up to today,” he insisted, showing Lipper a shot of the ursae skull along with several Cauthan milling about it. Natalya had sent it up to them, grumbling at the fact that she and Mendes had been roped into some sort of primitive block party. Lipper simply grunted and waved him away.
“Dude, come on. I know he got you in the jaw but you have to admit that’s a pretty impressive kill. Maybe we’ll get to go after one someday, right?” Rex reasoned as Lipper stood and began adding more weight to the bar. His partner was too engrossed with the ursae. “Damn, that thing’s got four eyes? Must be almost as ugly looking as I was yesterday, right Lipp? Lipp? Oy, the fuck are you doing?”
Rex dropped his tablet to the floor and hustled back over to the bench, gripping the weights tightly and forcing Lipper to re-rack them before poking and shouting at him. “Sit up. Sit the fuck up or we’re done and don’t give me that stupid fucking face cause you aren’t my Sergeant anymore. If you want to kill yourself I’ll lend you my goddamn sidearm but don’t you dare think I’ll sit by and watch you crush yourself. You know how many times you’ve lifted that much? Once. I remember. You’re struggling on your five rep max, how the hell do you expect to do your one rep max. The Omega boy isn’t even here, you dipshit. You're not impressing anyone! Not like I give a shit you can’t bench as much as me. No one can bench more than me and he still got me, that bastard. So you just sit over there and let me have a go before I punch you in the goddamn face, Lipp.”
Rex’s tirade had the desired effect, dislodging Lipper from the rack and dispatching him to a nearby bench. Rex took over, grumbling ironically about ‘show offs’, and managed to lift the weights for five repetitions before setting them back on the rack with a loud clang. He took up the conversation again as he sat up, breathing heavily. “Look man, I’m not trying to put you down cause you can’t talk yet, alright? But how does killing yourself help anyone? Admiral Kaczynski kept you on the team. He still trusts you. You gonna throw that away? I trust you, damnit!”
Lipper met his eyes for a moment before returning them to the floor, hunched over as sweat dripped from his brow onto the rubber mats below them. Despite rapid technological advancement in most areas of human society, there wasn’t much improvement to be made in the art of picking heavy things up and putting them back down again. Rex punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Look man, you broke the number one rule. Don’t bring the women into it, alright? Never! Unless it’s Natalya,” he suddenly remembered. “But I don’t seem to recall Natalya sprouting a bunch of fur and feathers.”
Lipper growled something through his closed lips that had Rex booming with laughter. “Yeah, yeah, I know I am. I’ll let it slide cause I like you and you can’t even snap back in your state. But dude, am I wrong? You got Winters madder than a hornet’s nest and you got yourself tied up by a primitive just long enough to get laid out. I would have thought getting messed up with that Alice girl would have taught you that lesson. They’re devious, man. Devious!”
When Lipper didn’t have a reaction to that, Rex sighed and sat beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Ok, less humor, more serious. Got it. I know you love the pussy almost as much as I love turning it down. That’s why we get along so damn well. But you broke the rule and now you owe a fucking life debt or some shit to the chick who shot you down in front of half the force on board. Well, that’s if you believe Natori and all that alien nonsense. Eh, who knows. We used to have that stuff so maybe it’s not so crazy. Her brother beat the shit out of you too. Anyway, before I say anything else, if you get in a bad way again I’ll do my best to lay him out alright? Just don’t. Natori let us live to fight another day. You aren’t ever going to kick Omega boy’s ass by tearing your muscles to pieces or getting crushed by a bar, you feel me? You’ve probably still got some of the painkillers and sedatives in you, for fuck’s sake.”
Lipper managed to shake his head and emit something akin to a sad chuckle as Rex carried on. “Hey, I get to be all sentimental and shit every once in a while. It’s part of my culture.” Lipper punched him back for that statement. Rex was clearly enjoying himself despite his freshly reconstructed nose.
“Ok yes, fine. I am definitely the worst one in the Corps, but you didn’t flake out on me when shit was… well, when it was shit, ok? Now it’s my turn. So get your ass over to the squat rack because we’ve already beaten upper body to death today. And if I see you moping around because that stupid Omega got to fuck alien pussy and kill something big I will stand behind you the whole time, think deep thoughts about your ass, and let you know about them as they happen. Clear? Damn, no wonder you were running your mouth all the time as Sergeant. This is fun.”
The resulting bout of laughter from both men was cut short as facial wounds, broken bones, and healing cartilage cried out in discomfort. To Rex’s relief, Lipper seemed to find his footing again, shaking his head humorously and following him over to the squat rack. They loaded up a reasonable weight and fell back into what was a tried and true routine, just with different ranks between the two of them. Out of respect for Lipper’s form and fitness, Rex waited until he was done with his set to snipe one final comment. “Don’t worry about the whole ass thing, by the way. If I can’t break you in half with one arm, you’re not my type.”
Without the use of his voice, Lipper could only roll his eyes at Rex in false ‘relief’. The Private shrugged and took his turn under the bar. “Look man, I’d ask you to share too, but your jaw is welded shut at the moment and I know for a fact you’re down to fuck pretty much anything so… not much point is there?”
The fact that Rex was actively under the bar prevented any good natured retaliation from Lipper, who simply ran his hand over his face and looked at the ceiling. Rex was the last person who would need a spotter on a warm up set, but he glanced over every now and again. After a few moments of silence, Thomas found himself uninterested in Rex’s non-existent love life as well as his own. With renewed focus and a begrudging acknowledgment that Rex was not only right, but a better friend to have than most, they finished their exercise and headed out in search of food. Rex left Lipper in front of the medbay with a pat on the back.
“Good shit today, man. You’ll be back in top form in no time. Go get your slushie and when you can chew again we’re gonna eat synthetic meat crap until we can't walk, ok? And no, I won’t say anything to Gus. Sure he’s gonna miss you before long.” As Lipper turned away from him Rex called out one final word of encouragement. “Hey, at least we aren’t stuck planetside eating a bunch of alien grub!”
-----
Contrary to Rex’s assertion, the ‘planetside grub’ was found to be not only edible, but delicious by Natori and the remainder of the Event Horizon’s Jumper squad. Much to Natalya’s chagrin, her stereotypically Eastern European features had made her an object of interest among the curious Cauthan, especially Alyra. The Priestess of the Twins was elated to find that there were humans who possessed a similar fur color to her, and had talked the Jumper’s ear off non-stop since the fire pits had been stoked and the stew pots filled for potluck. Mendes and Natori did their best to restrain their own mirth as Orlova made a valiant effort to remain engaged and not offend anyone.
Elsewhere in the town square, Alice and Lachlan felt like Maran veterans in comparison, gathering around a fire with Russell, Veera, Sentaura, Ursol, and Sentaura’s parents. Alice quickly divested everyone around of that notion, however, unable to contain her excitement as she looked every which way in hopes of taking it all in at once. With the harvest festival on the horizon, the town’s amateur musicians decided to take a night for practice, much to the delight of the townsfolk. Ursol was no exception, and the draw of the music was much more powerful than sitting around and waiting for the stew to cook.
“Remember to listen politely and not shout out of turn,” Sentaura ordered before freeing him from her lap. Lachlan and the rest couldn’t help but smile as they watched the little furball totter off through the crowds to get closer to the flutes and drums. “Your trophy will provide quite the backdrop to this year’s festival, human.”
“I hope your mate’s spirit can rest easy now,” Russell replied, glancing at the older Cauthan who had joined them for that evening. As with most of the village they were farmers, and the small tragedy of Sentaura’s brief escape from that lifestyle was not lost on him. They spoke of the dead no further, not wanting to mar a warm summer’s evening that had been declared a time of celebration by collective action. After brief introductions, Lachlan spoke to Sentaura.
“Not sure if yer interested, Sentaura, but we’ve got a few spares here,” he offered, withdrawing a couple of glasses cases from the various pockets and pouches of his uniform. Sentaura’s mother had received a pair to correct her own vision, and her father decided to get a pair of his own just for fun. She chose to wave them away politely.
“I can see quite well, but thank you Lachlan. The last thing I need is another shiny object for Ursol to obsess over.”
“You must be firmer with the boy,” Sentaura’s mother insisted.
“And when you decide you would like to spend more time raising him you may tell me how to do so,” the single mother snapped back. “I do not begrudge you the hard work we all must do, but do not presume to tell me how to raise your grandcub from afar.”
“That’s enough dear, please,” her father asked for calm. “This is not the time or place.”
“No, it is not,” Sentaura agreed before apologizing to Lachlan and Alice who were trying very hard to look elsewhere. “I am sorry for my outburst. Let us eat.”
Following a comfortable silence spent preparing bowls and giving brief thanks to the gods for their bounty, everyone dug in. Ursol joined them soon after, looking to sate his appetite once he’d gotten his fill of music. “Uncle Lachlan, are we gonna play tonight?”
Veera observed carefully, noting Sentaura’s resigned expression. She wondered how many nights the little one had asked her to play, how many nights Sentaura had simply found herself too exhausted to do so. Fortunately for young Ursol, who was still not quite old enough to understand that adults did not possess the boundless energy and imagination of a child, Lachlan seemed amenable. “What do ya want to play, wee fluffy lad?”
“Hunter games!”
“Well then you best be eatin’ all yer vegetables and roots. Can’t grow up to be a big, strong hunter without em!” Lachlan advised. Ursol made a big show of eating a piece of peeled, boiled kina.
“Lachlan, they probably could survive well enough on a carnivorous diet,” Alice whispered.
“And that is why you will be keepin’ yer smart little mouth shut or I’ll be blamin’ you when the tyke claims he only eats chesko an’ ursae,” the burly Scottsman insisted, the combination of his domineering attitude, calm demeanor, and fatherly concern for Ursol causing her diaphragm to promptly disconnect from her nervous system and cease all function. Lachlan took that as a good sign, rather oblivious to Alice’s reaction. Russell was not, but Veera was in his ear immediately, her keen senses enjoying the situation plenty.
“Harvest time is going to be such fun,” she insisted.
“Veera…” Russell growled quietly, only causing her to laugh.
“She could do far worse, love.”
“He’s oblivious.”
“So were you.”
“Was not!”
“Oh yes you were.”
“No, I was trying to make sure I didn’t-”
“Ah ah ah, that’s not how I remember it.”
‘I have returned from the mothership and I have the records of your steamy affair in hand and at the ready!’ Io interjected.
“You will be keeping those where they are because I am right and Russell is just upset that his sister is smitten,” Veera whispered delightedly, her words drowned out by song and ambient chatter, the crackling of fires, and the distant sounds of the forest.
‘What did I miss?’ Io wondered delightedly.
“Not you too!” Russell moaned, taking a bite of stewed ursae meat. It wasn’t as gourmet as fresh chesko flank, but the boiling stew and melange of herbs, roots, vegetables, and other flavors elevated it far above the level of jerky. “Can’t a guy protect his sister in peace?”
“Alice is twenty seven, right?” Veera asked him.
“Twenty eight next month… next couple cycles. October sixteenth,” he supplied as Veera rested against his shoulder and placed her mouth right up against his ear, the short fur of her muzzle tickling and teasing him.
“At her age, don’t you think her being mated would be a wonderful way to celebrate?”
Io devolved into uproarious laughter as Russell began choking and coughing so fiercely he was forced to hand off his bowl of stew to Veera and pound his fist into his sternum repeatedly until the piece of dato finally went down the right pipe. Ursol found it fascinating as well, pounding on his own chest like a miniature gorilla.
“You alright there, bro?” Alice asked as he took a swig from his canteen. Veera, being the responsible party, was rubbing his back lightly as an apology.
“Yeah, just fine. We doing anything for your birthday?” he changed the subject quickly. Alice beamed at him.
“Uh, yeah! Apparently we’re having a festival!” she gushed before turning to Sentaura. “I’m so looking forward to learning more about it. What’s it like?”
“It is a time for celebration, games, worship, and courtship,” the young mother supplied. “This year’s will be… of substantial importance.”
“Best leave it there, Lassie. Ask yer sister-in-law,” MacGregor advised quietly as he could. Alice nodded.
“Thank you, Sentaura. I very much look forward to experiencing it. Is there any chance you would be interested in learning to grow your crops aboard our ship? From the sound of it Natori and Antoth have come to some sort of arrangement. It would save you some time and it would be a great help to us. Not to mention I feel like we owe you after tonight’s meal and everything you’ve done for Lachlan here.”
“I’d be in support of that if yer amenable, Sentaura,” MacGregor agreed with Alice’s proposal. Sentaura ruffled her son’s small crest feathers as she considered the offer.
“Why don’t we discuss this tonight after your hunter games,” she suggested.
“Are you going to play too, mommy?” Ursol wondered happily. After a pause from Sentaura, Lachlan took it to mean he had permission to step in.
“Hey little guy, why don’t we give yer mum a chance to relax tonight, hmm? She’s out farmin’ every day while you’re at temple with the other kiddies. Besides, I think I can tire you out first.”
“Nuh uh,” Ursol insisted.
“Challenge accepted, wee laddie!”
-----
Late that night, after most had returned to their abodes, Veera knelt before her small shrine in the corner of her home. The crude wooden idols that had long resided there were no more, replaced by finely carved specimens recently purchased from the Temple of Tyrdus. Her husband saw fit to join her.
“What are we praying for tonight?” he wondered.
“Nothing, Russell. I’m simply giving thanks for my and our fortunes,” she told him. He nodded his head a couple times.
“Yeah, that’s not a bad reason at all, is it? Want to go up to the ship tomorrow and water your flowers?”
“Can we?” Veera wondered excitedly.
‘I will arrange it now,’ Io informed them kindly. ‘Say hello to Meylith for me.’
Russell and Veera weren’t sure what she meant by that line, but they did so nonetheless.
-----
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Own The HEL Jumper: Survive in the format of your choice: Hardcover, Softcover, and epub from Lulu | Amazon Kindle
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2019.06.18 13:52 KCGuy59 Voyeur hot spring

Just curious as to the great places to go for a long weekend this summer. Little fun, voyeurism, and perhaps some excitement. Where would that be?

  1. Fire Island
  2. Provincetown
  3. Rehobeth beach How about West Coast locations?
  4. Laguna Beach
  5. San Francisco
  6. Any other places work I can just have fun. Perhaps lay on a nude beach or a gay resort. Palm Springs is too hot during the summer.
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2018.02.14 18:51 Papaya_Dreaming Voyeur hot spring

TL;DR: Remember that Volibear exists and is cool.
Hi. In a fit of intelligence (rare for me) I realized it was time to do something responsible for once. Something kindhearted called giving love to someone who needs it. Maybe my words will fall on deaf ears, but maybe you all have just a bit of love left to spare without having to question or doubt or argue if he is deserving. Leave behind the issues and come along with me to give just one thing today the fourteenth of February. Love.
In patch 6.19, Riot repaired Volibear's shoulder pads:

BUG FIX: Captain Volibear's golden shoulderpad no longer disappears into his shoulder during one of his idle animations.
At the cusp of season 7, this would be the last doting change the bear would ever see. Because there would be buffs. Increasing of numbers, fine-tuning of abilities, et cetera. But nothing close to the love he deserves. With time, others caught on to Riot's apathy and emulated it, slowly strangling the great champion with their turned backs and rumors of weakness. So even as he struggled to remain relevant, all the odds in the were were stacked onto his shoulders--higher and higher until even the wielder of the storm toppled.
Now, we will summon him back to life. Not with a change to his attack damage and armor, not by adding a delay or a higher number to his ultimate bounces. I hope to revive him for today and today only, for a last hurrah.
A VOLIBEAR APPRECIATION THREAD Prelude: A Dedication to the Ursine While your head is low and eyes are set on the ground, while time passes on and men no longer record your accomplishments, and while enraptured in that terrifying silence of moving on, I want you to hear me say: I will not forget you, Volibear.
Perk your ears one last time to this, my ultimate dosage of love and appreciation. Disagree with a stamping of your great paw and wait, if a little longer, before leaving to your hard-earned rest.
You, who are riddled with thunder in every part of your body, walk with steps that shake the snow off of nearby trees. You are beautiful, in the sense of strength, because whenever you give your sternest alarums, your fur ripples in such and such a way. Those black lips of yours at the end of a large, foreboding muzzle start to flap, and spittle flies like a storm. Your paws dig into the snow, and your hind pokes up as you go quadrupedal. Yes, I regret the fate of anyone who dares earn your fury, but at the same time, the view before their impending death makes their souls leave long before your fury does.
But your calm moments are what I love most. To see you standing in the frigid Freljordan weather, breath coming out in plumes of white smoke--did you know that is caused by the water vapors of your breath condensing from the cold? Every time you breathe, a spray of your essence goes out onto the air. I cannot imagine what those mountains did to earn such a gift. I would give anything to be your tongue, wagging about in your mouth experience those sprays in their infancy: being shaken by the baritone of your mighty voice as you threaten retribution, or instigate treaties between the tribes.
Are you a shaman or a god? Those who made you have said both. Yes, you are shamanistic, because the visage of you and the voice of yours influence the spirits of men good, evil, in between. When we see you standing tall, your manly scent overwhelming, whatever desires we shared among ourselves in this awful rat race are obliterated. In that way you are godly. But I say--have always admitted--you are neither of those but yourself, Volibear. You are the object of my passion; as unfortunate as it may be, I cannot see your fall into obscurity; I cannot see your outdated abilities; I miss your lack of history, of maybe even true personality; all I see from you is your stunning body, imposing demeanor, unbridled fury. An assignment of God is accurate. No one else could force so many on their knees whether they want to or not, to the point you are cursed.
What do I love, in that case? The real you, born from Riot Games as a joke of an armored bear, or the idea of you? I would say that, somehow, both leave me disinterested. Yet, in conjunction with the life I breathe into you with my imagination, these things warrant worship. You are not only an object of passion, Volibear, but also an engine of passion, an empty canvas waiting to be painted on by anyone.
Cute. Awesome. Scary. Deep. Your blank canvas awaits any stroke and shape. My shape for you is olfactory and primal. Others differ, creating universes of you. Images of what you are. And I don't think that a "RIP" symbol next to your name on OPGG can mean the death of so much.
I will prove it to you. Tell me, Volibear, listening for not the last time if I can help it, the image of you I have painted. The worship I endow is fully in these, my confessions. You. The idea of you. The object and engine of passion--like the storm, it all follows in your wake. And this is the mark you left behind.
I ) Volibear's Upset Tummy A polar bear's diet consists of things like fish and seals. Both are filling yet neither come without their share of health risks. You can always find a bear who catches an icewater fish in his paws, brings it up to take a giant bite--and the meal, however good, was already dead and rotted, being pushed along by the current. Even in the Freljord mountains where rivers commonly iced over, incidents like this happened. Today, it just happened to what couldn't be a less fitting individual.
"No..."
Volibear groaned and reclined against a large trunk, paws desperately kneading his stomach. "No, not here..." still considering himself a shaman rather than a god at the time, he was used to making long treks to settle debates among those who survive in the mountains. Two tribes teetered on the edge of full-blown war without an intervention by the storm's call. Here he was, too stricken with stomach pains to move!
It wasn't until the fifth or so minute of writhing that the bear finally opened his eyes. Even so his face twisted up in a grimace, the eyes themselves were wary of anyone who might take advantage of his reduced state.
That was how he saw a human--a short one too--sneaking through the brush with a sharp object in his hand.
It became a choice between upsetting his stomach again... or becoming prey to some pink, fleshy coward. Volibear shot up to hind legs and roared! A storm followed, vaporizing the bushes around the smaller creature. Its various tinctures and equipment rattled as it flew back, crying out and waving his arms.
"Who goes ther-grrr," Volibear tried, before hunching over a bit. It felt as though the human had already achieved a hundred--no, a thousand stabs into his gut. Damned fish!
"Sorry!" The human shouted. "I-I didn't mean to scare you. I thought you were resting, s-so I was going to record your image in my journal."
Doubled over with pain, Volibear kept a watchful eye on the blond-haired man, much more like a cub of its kind. Then he tore away and fell back to writhing. "R-Record me?" The bear asked, tensing up.
"My name is Ezreal," the human said. He inched forward, hands raised out. "I'm an explorer. I have never seen an ursine quite like yourself. Are you... okay?"
Pride dictated he remain silent. Or swat Ezreal's head clean off. The tribes, he thought ravenously, any moment now, death and violence befalls them. The visions never lied.
"I require aid," Volibear said, shifty-eyed. "I bit into a creature already killed by the chill. There are more of my kind, just beyond the ridge. If you do not save me from my cramps... you will have plenty of dead bodies for your journals."
Ezreal tugged at his hair, pacing back and forth. "Okay, okay. Well I don't want that. But I'm the prodigal explorer, if you must know. Not the prodigal doctor. I carry antivenin and bandages."
"Neither will help." Volibear clenched his eyes shut and uttered for my kind under his breath. "Have you ever heard of homeopathy?"
"Is that some branch of thaumaturgy? Hextech, perhaps."
Volibear laid a great paw on his stomach. "Empathy magic. In the mountains, sometimes you have nothing but wits. As an explorer you must agree--come closer, human."
A tentative step forward by the explorer, who for once was not all too keen on discovering something new.
"Closer."
Another step. And close enough for the bear to snatch the human's paw and lay it on his stomach. Of course, Ezreal immediately tore his hand away.
"E-Excuse me!" He cried. "I am a little confused."
The shaman groaned and wiggled himself into a sitting position. "Rub my belly. Impart your desire to see me better into the palm of your hand. Understand my pain."
Ezreal stared on blankly. "Er, let me try carrying you."
Volibear roared, more thunder following in its wake. "Rub my belly, Ezreal the prodigal explorer!"
Trembling more than a bit, Ezreal still had no choice but to comply. He de-gloved and laid a naked palm on the bear's fur."
"Is... is it offensive to say you remind me of a poro I owned?"
Volibear huffed. "Just focus on the empathy magic."
Ezreal began to rub up, and down. The bear had a shock of white fur, pearly clean despite days of travel. Still the explorer had to stop every half minute to anxiously rub the animal dander on his hands onto tiny flecks of lint. With each toss away, each break, however, Ezreal seemed more entranced.
"Your stomach," he breathed. "It's warm. And very consistent, compared to a person's."
It was impossible to determine if this was some oratory note-taking method, or maybe a way to cope with the task.
"The fur slides smoothly regardless of which way I pet, a phenomenon the best engineers of Piltover could not design into a blanket, and even then it still also feels like the softest rugs I tested at the Shuriman market. When I rub this stomach, I am reminded of the majestic treks I take through the Wastes. The heat of the sun, the temperate Shuriman nights... the quiet joy of companionship. I can feel lingering static, as if its owner has the interesting volatile of a Zaunite experiment, and that aforementioned consistence, fairness fitting of Demacian honor--at the same time, its owner is powerful, a symbol of Noxian might. I hearken back to the Kumangu when I handle the dander of this pelt, back to Bilgewater when that strange scent reaches my nose! I... I'm quite enjoying my adventure all over this stomach!"
Volibear breathed out in awe. This explorer Ezreal had hands unlike any other. Wanting to return the favor, he pushed up the man's shirt, began kneading his foreign belly. They enacted the homeopathic remedy, masters of their own craft learning through the other. A human's stomach felt odd, small. Humble. It was humility which pushed Volibear to finally understand the importance of his vision. This human stomach was the metaphor of the Freljord, a soft, humble underside to a region of fury.
After several more minutes of this, Volibear finally mustered the willpower to end it.
"Enough," he whispered. "I feel better now."
Ezreal nodded meekly. "G-Good. You have to save your kind, right?"
Volibear gave one of his rare grins, looking out over the frigid, lonely path ahead. "Come with me. Although I travel there, I have no idea how to stop this war. But you... your gift... could end war itself."
And with just a single nod, the two strolled together towards a crest in the distance.
II ) Two Vastayans face an Ursine There were once two Vastayans who roved the forests, although if one was being specific, it was two idiots on a long and obnoxious ramble that never ended. No matter how trivial their task, these lovebirds (and they were literally lovebirds) sand and bantered about it. "Fetching some food to shut you up with," one will say. "I found some berries--remember to share this time, Xayah," the other will say. Then comes nuzzling. Repeat ad nauseum. The denizens of the forest, sentient or not, had really grown to hate their prattling yet lacked the power to stop it.
One day began like any other: with the two idiots dancing through the trees making terrible quips at the other. Squirrels on the branches plugged their ears with acorns--a nearby gromp hopped back into its burrow far under the ground.
"I'm faster than you," teased the man-bird Rakan. "That's why you love me."
"Love you?" Xayah laughed out loud. "If wanting to crawl under your skin is love. Then yes, I love you so much."
One small bunny stood up on its hind legs, paws put forward like fists.
That's it, he said, I can't take it anymore! I'll give them my old pounce and trounce!
His bunny girlfriend, let us call her Ruffles, tackled him.
No! They will kill you!
If I have to listen to one more teasing, flirty remark, I will have wished I was!
Ruffles wiped away a tear. Is it really bad enough to lose me? To lose our kids and the house? I will never be able to make payments on the house, let alone find a job so I could. My mom always said you were irresponsible, but now I really feel--
Oh, your mother said! MeeMee cried, throwing up his paws. She always did have it out for me. And maybe we would have more saved up if you didn't go shopping with your friends, or visit that buck over by the mouth of the pond.
Ruffles drew back, stunned. Did you just accuse me of cheating? Fuck YOU, MeeMee--
But this was not a story about the two Vastayans, or MeeMee and Ruffles. This was all a part of Volibear's tale, who at that precise moment stepped over the unhappy couple to meet face-to-face with the happy ones. The two lovers stopped prancing and sized him up, already silently chuckling to one another. The bear, now dressed in a more fitting garb for temperate climes, pulled at the brim of his armor in earnest.
"I am the prophet Volibear, caller of the storm," he said. "I am also lost in these woods. Do you know which way is Zaun?"
Xayah flicked her hair to the side. "Like, just what are you supposed to be... ever heard of cola?"
"Cola?" The bear asked.
"Man. You are missing out on some major royalties," Rakan said, finishing the jab. The two laughed and gave each other a kiss. Volibear began to get the impression these were not the people to ask for directions, despite them sharing the same likeness to animals as he did.
"Look at that dumb look on his face," Xayah said.
"I think it wants our names. Well, dear. I am Rakan, and this is my precious lover Xayah. We are the most beloved couple to grace Valoran."
(Ooh, Ruffles honey, MeeMee said in an overdrawn falsetto. Maybe we should introduce ourselves as the WORST!
You're always embarrassing me, Ruffles said, sniffling and hiding behind her ears. At the party, you said my tail looked like it was ran through a strainer...
W-WHAT?! YOU LAUGHED AT THAT!)
Volibear narrowed his eyes. "I just want directions. I had a vision of critical importance the world's fate and must tell everyone."
"We only speak to those who understand true, undiluted love," Rakan teased. "If you are lost in love, you deserve to be lost in the forest. We always support one another. When we go into battle, we wear the same clothes and carry the same titles. We are unstoppable."
Volibear nodded. "I see now. This is another trial along the storm's path. Allow me to prove my ability to love... by kissing your girlfriend."
Xayah and Rakan looked at each other in silence. Then, they broke out in uproarious laughter.
"Unless, of course," the bear added, "you are afraid your love is actually quite fickle. Pretty yet shattered with ease... like a snowflake."
And that immediately killed the laughter. Xayah surged forward, arms crossed. "Go on, loverboy. Let's see what a cola mascot can--"
The ursine cupped her head with his paws, pressing ever-so-lightly on her jawline. In the instant before Volibear's head descended, something like extreme fear and anticipation flashed in the Vastayan's eyes.
Honey, look! MeeMee shouted.
And you never take my side in arguments, like when Whiskers was arguing about bunnies being rabbits!
Look!
I mean of course I slept with Dewey, but I only had seven kids with him, that's it--
LOOK
In the distance, Volibear was busy giving Xayah a kiss. Ruffle's eyes went wide and she hopped forward, as if beginning a trek down a tunnel washed in white light.
Amazing, she squeaked. Look at the way he employs his long muzzle to the best of its ability, enveloping her smaller face in a tide of fur and flesh. You can see how easily his strong tongue pushes to explore her mouth, as if he is mastering the kiss even as he does it... finding her weaknesses with a sort of magical care. It's as though every single part of her mouth, from the tongue to the teeth, are clues. Yet this not a tough interrogation under some lamplight, but a bedtime conversation between lovers. Their noses touched! I bet the feel of that cold, wet nose was so, so rapturous that--ooh!
And his arms! MeeMee said, joining in. See how he thought ahead to hold her by the small of her back, so she would not melt under his affection? What confidence one must have to do such a small thing ahead of time, to imagine your own love as being potent enough to succeed in any situation. Who is this kiss really for? MeeMee pondered. He let out a sad sigh and pounded the ground. How! How can he so easily give his love away when some bunnies have trouble unveiling it to their life partners!
Ruffles blinked. Some bunnies... you mean yourself. All this time, you have hidden your love for me? All you needed to do was reach out. I was there every step of the way... no, not true. I turned reticent with time. The magic didn't escape. We let it leave together.
We can take it back together, if one bear can bear to have it, together we can get close enough. And without another word, the two met in a kiss, paws rubbing up and down their bodies.
Meanwhile, Rakan had tapped on Volibear's shoulder. The bear relented, allowing Xayah to fall in a stunned heap.
Rakan only said two words. "Show me."
And again the trip went underway, and Volibear again explored a being, this time the one called Rakan.
The Vastayan was first transported away by the kiss to his home--destroyed and beset by flames and littered with bodies. He wallowed in misery, the only comfort being the wing draped over him by his love Xayah. Together, they had survived.
But this kiss... the kiss now... it was as though the wing had become leaden under its taste, these ursine lips cleaving away the falsehood! This was not love he felt towards Xayah but a pressure... a pressure beginning the instant he laid eyes on their ruined home... the pressure to continue their people's legacy.
Something so real.
All a lie.
Volibear's breath tasted gamy. Like fresh kill. His tongue was thick and coated stem to tip with saliva.
Liars. They were liars of the worst kind.
The bunnies rolled into a patch, corners of their eyes still locked on the scene they wanted to never forget in the heat of arguments or silly parties with friends.
Lie, lie, lie. It was all just the fear of becoming extinct.
Volibear released the man. Without any ado, Rakan raised a shaky arm towards the west. "Keep going. There will be a path made by men."
"That's all you needed to say." The prophet left.
Rakan looked into Xayah's eyes. Each of their lips danced to make a quip about what had just happened, but the lingering taste gagged them.
Instead, what came next out of the bird-man was: "we need to take a break."
III.) Personal Trainer Blues Hey guys. I'm Pap. Personal trainer. My life sucks. Sucky suck sucks. Sucks all day long, in every single way possible.
Why? Okay, so there's this bear I offer private lifting sessions to. Bear with me, no pun intended.
He's really cool for being a total freak, both at lifting and existence-wise. But he strolled in through the front door of this small gym I scout out, and everyone was a little freaked to see an ursine in a Demacian gym. I talked to him while he waited for an employee to talk to the manager who would then pretend to talk to an "admin"--who would finally, in the safety of not being real, instruct the bear to kindly fuck off. And the guy, Volibear, totally understood. He harbored no ill will, and that was sort of how I felt compelled to give him instructions on how to lift weights without hurting himself. He wanted to prove himself in a Demacian competition, get an audience with Jarvan.
Over our first few sessions, I learned he has a sensitive side and appreciates a lot of romantic comedies. He keeps them on repeat in the background while he pens up stories about his adventures in Valoran, which really surprised me. He even read me a few things from memory and they were really pretty. When all my other friends bailed, he came in like the cliche "keeping it real" archetype and moved everything himself. We pretended it was another training session and you know what? It was the most fun I ever had.
In return, I showed him how to drink and sit on top of tall shit while philosophizing, and of course he knew more than I ever hoped to learn. Stuff about love, and finding the right way out of a problem. How his goal to successfully persuade Jarvan of his "prophesy" of "creatures from the darkest pits rising again to destroy Valoran." He seemed to find the booze enrapturing because every so often he'd clasp my shoulder and thank me for believing him. Did I? No idea. I've been stuck training other dudes since I broke my leg in a competition, I sorta hate the hell out of fate and prophecies. Of course, I sorta knew that stuff happened on a schedule, then.
Cool story. I told you all that so you would know it's not completely about his body. But my yearning is a little...mostly about his mother. fucking. body.
Dude's ripped, obviously. But in that chubby sort of way which hides the muscles. So I'll be like knelt over inspecting the angle of legs on a DL and not even notice how tense his thighs are. I feel them to find out and I'm like a kid finding one last pringle in the can. Oh! Oh...
You can feel the blood pounding through his powerhouses. I was even more pleased to find out--intrigued is the word I'd used if I felt shame--that he sweats. Yeah. Fur and sweat. I help him out and occasionally I'll be angled blah blah blah and he'll be doing yadda yadda, and a droplet of sweat will hit my face. One time I got a drop right where my 'stache would be if I didn't shave and me, being an idiot, couldn't handle the thing being so close to my nose, where I smelt its spice, nor my tongue, which lapped it up in a goddamned heartbeat.
Volibear just kinda stared at me dumbfounded. Don't worry, though, I'm a genius: I pretended to scrunch up my face in disgust and went to get some water. Such a genius, I am. Can't even tell the dude how I feel. If he's not into it? He could pummel through nineteen houses and a five steel girders.
Well. One day we were in a sesh and I didn't behave all genius-like.
We were ignoring the bar for the moment, while I taught him how to properly angle his arms for the lift. It was kind of exploratory, since his arms bend differently compared to us humans. While I molded his pose to the right place (which he would then catch onto and incorporate with stunning speed), he talked about human stuff he discovered in Demacia.
"Did you know you humans pay exorbitant amounts on vacations?" He asked me.
"Mhm. You know, this armor gets in the way... any chance you can take it off for a bit? Might help you buckle in your arms a bit more. C-Could be what you need, you know. To win."
"...okay." He quickly disbanded the ties for each part and left them in a heap by the door. I could see he was nervous because the armor held magic power or whatever. Like, dude. The magic was that I just abra cadabra'd the armor off the hottest creature to ever live.
"Anyways," he grunted, getting back on the bench. "You humans go through so many measures to see these sighs. But I do not understand--is there much to you seeing them personally?" I eyed his body head to toe and almost began to suffocate. He has a little bit of a beer gut, I notice. Is that from... is that from our nights out? Oh god. I had bit off more than I can chew.
"What is wrong with a painter's image, or a story? Why do humans put so much value on experiencing something first-hand? I guess I am out of perspective, since my visions take me to faraway places regularly."
no. nonono...
I knew what I needed to do to get his arms right. I leaned in and cupped his chest with one hand, right under the armpit, and put the other on his bicep. "Maybe. People lack your 'empathy magic' and stuff. Sometimes the only way for a human to ever understand something is to... to see it for ourselves. We're going to bring this in a bit."
Find an excuse to scoop his armpit, my mind demanded. Find an excuse to scoop his armpit. Find an excuse to scoop his armpit. Find an excuse. To scoop. His armpit. And then smell your fingers when he isn't looking.
Without much thought I blabbered out some line about raising his arms up and 'accidentally' bring my left hand into the pit-zone.
He spun around and clutched me by the shoulder. My heart was basically blown up during the moments he spoke to me in a nonthreatening growl.
"How long will you pretend at this?" He let go. I poured onto the floor.
"I'm sorry," I said. "Please don't think I was scamming you or anything. The stuff I taught you has all been real--"
"I know it is, or else I wouldn't have found me again." Volibear stood up and walked towards the window. I wanted to tell him such things were pretty taboo, but I also was kinda dying of panic. "I've been pondering myself for such a long time. Every since... I had a stomach ache. A an explorer came and gave me the best belly rub. It managed to cure my woes like nothing else. And then when I brought him to my tribe, it was nice. Yet not perfect like it had been with me, as if he found the others too lacking to work the same magic. I met lovers in the woods, that I managed to persuade with simple kisses. What causes this attraction? Why do these things keep happening? I was blessed with the storm. It is silent in this mystery."
"You were gifted with something else," I dared to say. "This ursine body. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid hands on."
"My... body?"
"But not just that. It's your attitude. You're responsible, hardworking in everything you do. In just a few short weeks you brought me from self-pitying loser to someone I might almost respect. I moved out of my garbage apartment, I applied for real jobs, all because I talked to you. I learned what you respected and used the fear from not meeting that to push myself. Your body, and the you inhabiting it, are precious. The moment you step into that ring to lift, it will be obvious who the winner is. I want to be you but I can't. So I'll just be my best."
Volibear gave me a small smile. "You give me too much credit. A real honorable ursine would not have let someone suffer so long while he wallowed in confusion."
"Who did you let suffer--"
He lunged forward and bear-hugged me, still not wearing his armor.
"Allow me to make up for all those days I forced you to stay away. Your best is fantastic, human. Very fantastic."
You might be wondering why my little story is called Personal Trainer Blues. Well, not soon after this, Volibear got the attention of Jarvan. He packed up with a bunch of other warriors and headed out to the Shuriman Wastes to confront his void monsters. He said he'd try to return, but I have a feeling it'll be awhile.
That fateful day, he talked about how silly humans were to go on vacations, to never settle down. It'd be silly for an ursine to do the opposite, I guess. People need to know what he is like. He shouldn't ever be forgotten.
And besides. Volibear wasn't mine to have. His true love is waiting somewhere out there in the desert. Call it a bit of the lingering storm. In certain... positions, it rubs off on you. Like socks on a carpet!
IV) Where the Storm Lead Volibear It was another sweltering day in the Shuriman Wastes. Volibear wiped the sweat off his brow and let out an exhausted churl. How long he had been away from the could mountains...
Suddenly he heard the noise of bags being swung around. Taken by surprise, the bear just managed to turn around in time to see the Demacian solders with him start to retreat. They were all grumbling under their breaths, shoulders hunched over for the inevitable lecturing they were about to receive.
"Wait!" Volibear called out. "Where are you going? Just over the dune, we will find the lair of the Void. The Void from my vision!"
"You might be able to lift more than even Alistar," one of the men spat, pointing a finger, "but you are insane. Insane. There is nothing in the hot desert except suffering. And if you remember, our prince Jarvan the Fourth gave us permission to abandon you if you turn out to be misled."
"...But is that what a Demacian would do?" Volibear asked in a low growl.
Laughing to themselves and tossing out slurs, his company sped off into the distance. Volibear let them go. It was crazy to imagine meeting trained soldiers who were more cowardly than a man living inside the walls he protected. A personal trainer... whom he missed dearly. He missed Ezreal as well, and the two birds, and the two voyeur bunnies he met on his journey. Now it was him alone, trying to save a world full of things he left behind.
Volibear trudged along with a hunch in his back. Since he was young, the Storm had led him to the right place. It never fell out of line with his own desires to see peace passed on, but ever since he elected to allow the meeting of bodies into his life that fateful day he ate fish, the storm felt out of touch. As if it didn't know how to reward its faithful servant.
"Stupid Storm," Volibear cursed. "Stupid Valoran. Stupid Void, stupid visions. Stupid me." Apparently, he had been born with another gift: the gift of an attractive body in every sense of the word.
Whatever. He trekked on over the dune, and found the ruins he sought after. Those fools would have seen such amazing things if they kept on their path a little while longer.
Jumping down a few rocks embedded in the sand, he found a single entrance. In there, there might be a portal. Or a nest--the visions were unclear. It had always been the same dream: he would writhe and fight back against a looming darkness the color purple, only to be overwhelmed. The vision always ended the same way, with him agape and rendered paralyzed with fear.
He took a deep breath and ducked under the human-sized entrance.
And there was nothing.
No void.
No darkness of the color purple.
Just a dirty old tomb.
He belted out a roar. Punched chunks from the wall. There were so many people he had wanted to see! Now, marooned without any supplies (they had been carried off with the cowards), he was doomed to collapse in these nondescript Wastes! Leaving them all to wonder if he hadn't cared enough to visit them again!
Just before Volibear folded over into a great mess of white fur and tears, the arch of the tomb started to rumble.
A monster broke a hole in the stone with its giant claw, followed by the rest of its body springing forward in one fluid motion. In an instant it noticed the unprepared shaman. Its many eyes lit up. It pounced.
Volibear let out a battlecry and started pounding the ginormous beat in its eyes, yet it was durable. If his lightning could come... the storm had abandoned him. No longer did it follow in his wake, a followup to every attack.
The creature continued to pin him down,covering all his options of escaping even if he miraculously regained his powers. The tomb went silent save for Volibear's heavy breathing and the monster's chattering.
He took in the creature's visage, and his prophetic mind seized her name.
"Rek'sai," he growled. "If I had the storm, I would send you back to where you crawled out of."
She cocked her head to the side, then reared up. Its misshapen teeth--which were surprisingly...clean? Its... misshapen teeth were sallow, honed from burrowing and killing alike. She was a queen. Regal, and stalwart. Strong to a tee and capable of enduring any blow, let alone one from an abandoned bear.
Volibear wiggled a bit, starting to get uncomfortable with the lack of fighting. "Isn't this the part where I struggle for my life, escape, and earn the storm back?" Volibear asked.
The creature's eyes lit up with glee, as if she enjoyed his sense of humor. She retreated, leaving him free to stand, and began to inspect him as he regained his composure.
He gave her a closer look as well. She wasn't bad looking. Wait, what?
Bad looking how? What did his thoughts mean? Clutching his head, he turned his attention inward.
That prophecy delivered by his strange power. Was that not a premonition of danger? Then why had he always been so calm. Was it only his nerves of steel, or a deep cerebral knowledge of the truth. Earlier it seemed the Storm had no idea how to reward him. Now it seemed this entire quest was one reward.
Volibear was quite the beast himself, compared to Rek'sai. These two beings in this one room. We have always been one thing or another. To some I am a curiosity, to others I am an inspiration, to others I am the truth. She is a monster to some. A queen to her people. When will someone see us as ourselves. When will someone appreciate us for more?
They were equal in terms of problems, then, yet Rek'sai edged him out on intelligence. Because she saw the opportunity first and took it.
Void-monster and bear fell into a fit of passion, kissing each other in an explosive display of love at first sight. The tomb trembled in glee, raining dust on them as if it was confetti at the end of a long and confusing wedding. He took such good care of her, running his tongue along her tusk-like teeth, as she did to time, rubbing one of her many arms along his stomach leaving a ticklish sensation behind.
Volibear would later know this encounter is what escalated him from prophet to god. Through their powers combined, he became a ruling force in the Freljord, and did more good than he ever could have done alone.
And that is where his story sits. From all of this, what is the moral? What is the takeaway from this trek of love and discovery?
Simple:
VOLIBEAR DESERVES A SWEETHEART SKIN. And that is all I have to say. Thank you for coming with me on this journey. Good bless Volibear. #cantbeartoforget.
submitted by Papaya_Dreaming to leagueoflegends [link] [comments]


2017.02.01 12:34 disposableguy Index

Hey there,
I’m disposableguy and I’ve been recording and posting a whole range of things since October 2014, in a variety of places and on a variety of themes.
For your listening pleasure, they are as below…
As this post is now over a year it's been archived, but if you'd like to leave a note please send me a PM. :D
Poetry
Simon Armitage – I Am Very Bothered [Young Love] [Bunsen Burner]
Simon Armitage – The English Astronaut [Britishness] [Achievements] [Realism]
Simon Armitage – The Unthinkable [Love] [Intrigue] [Huge Purple Door]
W H Auden – As I Walked Out One Evening [Time] [Romantic] [Birthday Poem]
W H Auden – Funeral Blues [Classic] [Emotional] [Poignant]
W H Auden – In Memory of W B Yeats [In Memoriam] [Poet On Poet]
W H Auden – Night Mail [Rhythmic] [Nostalgic]
W H Auden – O Tell Me The Truth About Love [Romantic] [Kinda Silly] [Extremely British]
Jimmy Santiago Bacha – I Am Offering This Poem [Valentine’s Day] [For Everyone] [Romantic] [Supportive] [L-Bombs]
Laurence Binyon – For The Fallen [Remembrance] [They Shall Not Grow Old]
Christopher Brennan – Because She Would Ask Me Why I Loved Her [Love] [Life]
Robert Browning – Now [Love] [Desire] [Intense]
Lord Byron – She Walks In Beauty [Timeless] [Romantic]
Lewis Carroll – Jabberwocky [For Halloween] [Classic] [Sinister] [Frumious Bandersnatch]
John Clare – I Am [Poignant] [Romantic]
Leonard Cohen – Half The World [Longing] [Memories] [Awakening] [Love]
Billy Collins – Genesis [Romantic] [Erotic Yet Biblical]
Billy Collins – Love [Love] [Attraction] [Desire] [Cello]
Billy Collins – Today [Spring] [Joy] [Optimistic] [Release]
John Cooper Clarke – I Wanna Be Yours [Romantic] [Punk]
e e cummings – anyone lived in a pretty how town [Freeform]
e e cummings – i carry your heart with me (I carry it in) [Romantic]
e e cummings – i have found what you are like [Love] [Free Verse]
e e cummings - i like my body when it is with your [Erotic] [Romantic]
e e cummings – little tree [Caring] [Gentle] [Merry Christmas]
e e cummings – love is more thicker than forget [Romantic]
e e cummings – may i feel said he [Romantic] [Playful].
e e cummings – my father moved through dooms of love [Remembering] [Legacy] [Parents] [In Memoriam] [Free-form] [Long]
e e cummings – somewhere i have never travelled gladly beyond [Love] [Eternal]
John Donne – The Bait [Love] [Desire] [Nature] [Metaphor]
Rita Dove – Flirtation [Romantic] [Optimistic] [Nature]
Stephen Dunn – Cleanliness [Erotic] [Adoration] [Cats]
T S Eliot – The Love Song Of J Alfred Prufrock [Modernist] [Romantic Frustration] [Realist] [Italian] [Long]
John Engman – Sobbing Uncontrollably In Public Places [Romantic]
Michael Faudet – The Letter [Short] [Erotic]
James Fenton – In Paris With You [Romantic]
B E Fitzgerald – Art Is A Facebook Status About Your Winter Break [Romantic] [Rambling]
Robert Frost – The Subverted Flower [Infatuation] [Lust]
Neil Gaiman – Blueberry Girl [Melodic] [Hopeful] [For My Daughter]
Kahlil Gibran – On Marriage [Romantic]
J Milton Hayes – The Green Eye Of The Little Yellow God [Mystical] [Sinister]
Rebecca Hazleton – You Are The Penultimate Love Of My Life [Relationships] [Companionship] [Realistic] [Love]
William Ernest Henley – Invictus [Encouraging]
June Jordan – These Poems [Meta] [/poetryreading] [Dedication]
Donald Justice – Men At Forty [Time] [Ageing] [Masculinity] [This Man, At Forty]
John Keats – Bright Star [Romantic]
John Keats – When I Have Fears That I May Cease To Be [Romance] [Time] [Infatuation] [Heartache]
X J Kennedy – Nude Descending A Staircase [Erotic] [Voyeur] [Worship]
Rudyard Kipling – If [Heartfelt] [Feels] [Amazing]
Dorothea Lasky – Love Poem [Love, naturally] [Complicated] [Souls]
James Laughlin – O Best Of All Nights, Return And Return Again [Romantic] [Erotic]
Phillis Levin – Kettle [Tea] [Tender] [Erotic]
Louis MacNeice – Meeting Point [Romantic] [Time]
John Masefield – Beauty [Romantic]
Roger McGough – Let Me Die A Youngman’s Death [Hopeful] [Humour] [National Poetry Day]
A A Milne – Lines And Squares [Gentle] [Walking] [London] [Bears]
A A Milne – The King’s Breakfast [Humour] [Butter]
Stanley Moss – The Thing Written [Words] [Language] [Expression]
Ogden Nash – To My Valentine [Romantic]
Pablo Neruda – Drunk As Drunk [Romantic]
Pablo Neruda – If You Forget Me [Romantic]
Pablo Neruda – Sonnet 17 (I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz...) [Romantic] [L-Bombs]
Pablo Neruda – Sonnet 66 (I do not love you except because I love you...) [Romantic] [L-Bombs]
Pablo Neruda – Sonnet 89 (When I die, I want your hands on my eyes...) [Romantic] [Eternal]
Mary Oliver – Wild Geese [Nature] [Loss] [Support] [Family Of Things]
Matthew Olzmann – Letter To Someone Living Fifty Years From Now [Environmental] [Legacy] [Bees]
Wilfred Owen – Anthem For Doomed Youth [Remembrance] [Mournful]
Don Paterson – Rain [Cinematic] [Enigmatic] [Poignant]
Brian Patten – When You Wake Tomorrow [Romantic] [Hopeful] [Caring] [Breakfast]
Sylvia Plath – Mad Girl’s Love Song [Romantic] [Melancholy] [Androgynous]
Li Po (Li Bai) – Drinking Alone By Moonlight [Mystical] [Wine]
Clementine Von Radics – For Teenage Girls With Wild Ambition And Trembling Hearts [Strength] [Encouraging]
Rainer Maria Rilke – The Rose-Window [Symbolism] [Faith] [Cats]
David Rivard – Strictly Speaking [Identity] [Belonging]
Christina Rossetti – A Birthday [Romantic]
Siegfried Sassoon – The Poet As Hero [First World War] [Coming Of Age] [Reality Of War] [Remembrance Day Poetry]
Zachary Schomburg – The Fire Cycle [Strange And Beautiful] [Repetitive] [A New Kind Of Dinosaur]. Also with companion audio.
William Shakespeare – Sonnet 43 [Romantic]
William Shakespeare – Sonnet 65 (Since brass, nor stone, nor earth, nor boundless sea) [Beauty] [Time] [Immortality]
William Shakespeare – Sonnet 130 (My Mistress’ Eyes Are Nothing Like The Sun) [Timeless] [Romantic]
Percy Shelley – Ozymandias [Time] [Hubris]
Mark Strand – Eating Poetry [Poetry] [Words] [Wolf] [Transformation]
Sara Teasdale – Barter [Love] [Beauty] [Commitment]
Arthur Graeme West – The Night Patrol [Monologue] [Eye-witness] [Reality Of War] [Remembrance Day Poetry]
William Carlos Williams – Danse Russe [Secrets] [Mortality] [Mornings] [Buttocks]
William Wordsworth – She Was A Phantom Of Delight [Love] [Infatuation] [Classic]
Sir Thomas Wyatt – They Flee From Me [Love] [Infatuation] [Classic]
W B Yeats – An Irish Airman Foresees His Death [Political] [Mournful]
W B Yeats – No Second Troy [Infatuation] [Heartache] [Mythology]
W B Yeats – The Second Coming [Classic] [Mythology]
W B Yeats – The Song Of Wandering Aengus [Romantic] [Longing] [Hope]
Prose
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle – The Sign Of The Four – Chapter 1 [Prose] [Sherlock Holmes] [Detective] [Mystery]
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle – The Sign Of The Four – Chapter 2 [Prose] [Sherlock Holmes] [Detective] [Mystery]
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle – The Sign Of The Four – Chapter 3 [Prose] [Sherlock Holmes] [Detective] [Mystery]
Terry Pratchett – The Colour of Magic (Prologue) [Prose] [Fantasy] [Discworld]
Terry Pratchett – Hogfather (Pages 97-98) [Prose] [Fantasy] [Discworld]
Kurt Vonnegut – Harrison Bergeron [Short Story] [Sci-fi] [Dystopian] [Ballerinas]
Bedtime Stories
Julia Donaldson – The Gruffalo [Gentle] [All The Voices]
Wanda Gag – Millions Of Cats [Relaxing] [Cats]
Rudyard Kipling – How The Rhinoceros Got His Skin [Just So] [Gentle] [Relaxing]
Sam McBratney – Guess How Much I Love You [Gentle]
Clement Clarke Moore – A Visit From St Nicholas [The Night Before Christmas] [Classic] [Bedtime] [Merry Christmas]
Ogden Nash – The Tale Of Custard The Dragon [Gentle] [Playful] [Nonsense] [A Nice Safe Cage] [Scary Pyrate]
Maurice Sendak – Where The Wild Things Are [Classic] [Fantasy] [Experiment]
Dr Seuss – Oh, the Places You'll Go [Life] [Challenges] [Encouragement]
Sandol Stoddard Warburg – I Like You [Gentle] [Rambling]
Misc
Morning Tea [Recipe Challenge] [Romantic] [Hot Kettle Action] [No Sex] [Just Tea]
Ocean Relaxation [Calm] [Relaxing] [Deep] [Ocean] [Therapeutic] [Soundscape] [Mid-Atlantic Accent] [Happy April]
The Shipping Forecast, 9th May 2017 [Literally The Shipping Forecast]
Audioslave - I Am The Highway [Spoken Song] [In Memory Of Chris Cornell]
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Red Right Hand [Spoken Song] [Halloween]
Cake – The Distance [Spoken Song]
Cake – Short Skirt, Long Jacket [Spoken Song]
Elbow – The Bones of You [Spoken Song] [Melancholy]
They Might Be Giants – Whistling In The Dark [Spoken Song] [Sinister]
NSFW
[M4F] A Trip To The Pet Store (script by SuperHappyDeathSquad) [MDom] [Pet Play] [Ownership] [Obedience] [Training] [Public] [Teasing] [Tails] [Collars] [Leashes] [Cages]
[M4F] Cum For Me, Sweet Girl (script by Eves-garden) [Erotic Free Verse] [Sensual Pussy Worship]
[M4F] Dawn Chorus [Morning Glow] [Romantic] [Narrative] [Soundscape]
[M4F] Fireplace (script by TheArcheBishoppe) [Oral] [Hypnotic] [ASMR] [Gentle] [MDom]
[M4F] The Guardian (script and effects by Arrabell) [Fantasy] [Primal] [Shapeshifter] [Wolf] [Tanglevine] [Tentacles] [Rape] [Dub-Con] [Growling] [Restraint]
[M4A] Good Morning, Darling [Reassurance] [Romantic] [Missing You] [Pillow Talk] [Early Morning]
[M4M] The Hitchhiker’s Peril (script by kastairis) [Public] [Seducation] [Oral] [Supernatural]
[M4F] How I Came To Own You (script by SaucySaar) [MDom] [Spanking] [Control] [Caring] [Remembering First Time] [Monologue]
[M4F] I Want You (script by cuddle_with_me) [Erotic]
[M4F] I’m Waiting For You [Romantic] [Build-up] [First Encounter] [Breathy] [TheEndIsTheBeginningIsTheEnd]
[M4F] Jareth’s Gift (script by Arrabell) [Fantasy] [Control] [Obedience] [Goblin King] [Oral Fetish] [Peaches] [Labyrinth]
[M4F] Just For Tonight (script by TarkusTrooper) [Erotic Poetry] [Demanding] [Loudness Encouragement]
[M4F] Let Me Instruct You (script by MissGlitchy)[Erotic Poetry] [Short And Sexy]
[M4A] Lover’s Lullaby (In These Arms Of Mine) (script by TarkusTrooper) [Romantic] [Lyrical]
[M4F] A Message For My Babygirl (script by 808Seduction) [DD/lg] [SI] [Gentle] [Instructive]
[M4F] My Good Girl (script by iwillinstructyou) [Erotic Poetry] [D/s] [Leather Belt] [Stern] [Tender]
[M4F] Our Little Game (script by SuperHappyDeathSquad) [MDom] [Glory Hole] [Free Use] [Blowjob]
[M4F] Read Me [MDom] [Office] [Secretary] [Tender] [Instructive]
[M4F] Read Me Too [MDom] [Office] [Secretary] [Tender] [Instructive] [SI]
[M4F] Show Them What You've Got (script by Originalribenababy) [MDom] [Exhibitionism] [Ownership] [Light Degradation] [Blowjob] [Hard Fucking] [Good Girl]
[M4F] Taking A Week’s Worth Of Stress Out On You (script by SuperHappyDeathSquad) [MDom] [Rough] [Fucktoy] [Impact] [Anger Management]
[M4F] You Have One New Message (script by SuperHappyDeathSquad) [Answerphone] [Gentle] [BFE] [Massage] [Control] [Twist]
[M4F] You’ll Be Wishing You Haven’t Teased Me (script by TarkusTrooper) [MDom] [Teasing] [Shades Of MSub] [Short And Sweet]
submitted by disposableguy to DisposableGuy [link] [comments]


2016.09.17 20:47 swingerwannabe11 Voyeur hot spring

Hey guys and girls hope you can help me out here. (Throwaway account for privacy)
So I'm [26m] on vacation with my gf [23f] and some other friends[3 women 1 guy]. Last night we were trying to find some place to stay and we found this campground/RV park with a hot spring heated pool you can swim in. We thought that sounded fun so we checked it out.
There were a few red flags at first. For instance it's $20 a couple, $10 for single ladies, and $15 for single guys. Thought that was weird. Then as we are talking to the guy he started telling us how this place is clothing optional. We all kind of giggled at it and joked about how we'd all be naked by the end of the night. Then we went and set up camp.
After we had a few beers and bowls (we're in Colorado after all), we got our swim suits on and went into the hot spring pool. Most people were naked and much older than us. But we kept drinking beers, talking to people, playing volleyball and just having a good time. After a little bit my girlfriend was the first one in our group to actually get naked. Soon after, all of us were naked. Most of us stayed in the pool naked, covered by the water but a few of us walked around naked too.
Well a lot of people were looking at us. (We learned later that nearly everyone in the hot spring pool lived there, except for our group and maybe 4 other people) There were probably 50 people there total and only 9 of them were under the age of 30, and we had 6 people in our group so people were kinda staring at us a lot.
I thought it was so hot for people to see my girlfriend naked, and I could tell she liked it a lot to. She kept making her tits pop above the water whIle we were talking to other people and I just loved it!
We spent most of the time talking to the only other couple there our age. He was a fit good looking guy and she was very hot. She kept making her tits pop above the water like my girlfriend was. She kept catching me staring at her tits and I could tell she was really into it. It was just a really sexy moment to be naked with my girlfriend talking to another naked couple like it was no big deal. I've always been into voyeurism and exhibitionism but that was my first real experience.
Anyways it got late [10:00pm] and the pool was closing. So we got our stuff and got dressed and went to our tent to drink more and eat food. After a little bit, the guy (of the other sexy couple) walked up to us with just a towel covering him. He told us there's an after hours pool party and we should come up. I was drunk and ended up asking him straight up if this was a place for swingers. He didn't say yes, but he said a lot of people swing there. And he was saying he's done it before but it was "soft swapping" only. He said a lot of times it's just couples having sex in the area of other couples having sex, no swapping even. He said come to the pool and whatever happens happens.
I was soooooo excited for this. His girlfriend was so hot, and I really wanted to watch her get fucked while I fuck my girlfriend. My girlfriend was interested at first but then chickened out because she was on her period.
I feel like I missed out on a golden moment. I really think this is a lifestyle I could get into, but I have no idea where to start. What is soft swapping? I don't know if I'd be cool with another guy fucking my girlfriend but I think it would be very hot to bang in a room with a bunch of other people banging too. Is that a thing some swingers do? Where do I start to get more involved in this lifestyle?
Thank you for reading and I'm sorry for the long post. Help me get started please!
submitted by swingerwannabe11 to Swingers [link] [comments]


2016.08.10 13:11 subreddit_stats Voyeur spring hot

Period: 2103.45 days
Submissions Comments
Total 1000 20228
Rate (per day) 0.48 9.61
Unique Redditors 473 2466
Combined Score 29503 55017
Top Submitters' Top Submissions

  1. 1477 points, 56 submissions: haljackey
    1. I attended the latest SHIFT (rapid transit) meeting. Here's an overview and some of my thoughts (63 points, 51 comments)
    2. UWO: Human trials for HIV/AIDS vaccine making steady progress (49 points, 3 comments)
    3. Too bad it isn't a double rainbow (47 points, 11 comments)
    4. 41 Wednesday, 13 Friday? Go Home Weather, You Are Drunk. (42 points, 4 comments)
    5. Well this shows where the snow squall hit. (42 points, 2 comments)
    6. It's a hot one out there London! (40 points, 29 comments)
    7. Westmount Mall Ranks Among Top 10 Incredibly Desolate Dead Shopping Malls (40 points, 36 comments)
    8. London Skyline (40 points, 6 comments)
    9. Took this photo during the Canada Day fireworks. Looks kinda like a nebula (38 points, 3 comments)
    10. Lake effect snow 101 (35 points, 12 comments)
  2. 913 points, 27 submissions: Perma
    1. London's Source for sports getting in on the Trudeau action rather quickly. (100 points, 17 comments)
    2. AMA: London-Fanshawe NDP MP Irene Mathyssen and London West NDP Candidate Matthew Rowlinson. (73 points, 122 comments)
    3. London's Masonville Place will get $77 million makeover with Zara, H&M, Hot Topic, Sport Chek and The Disney Store among new additions (49 points, 48 comments)
    4. London Fanshawe NDP MP Irene Mathyssen & London West candidate Matthew Rowlinson will be doing a joint AMA on Wednesday August 19 @ 8:00PM in this subreddit! (46 points, 12 comments)
    5. The 6 year old girl that was struck by a car at Costco has succumbed to her injuries. (45 points, 28 comments)
    6. Liberal candidate Peter Fragiskatos has defeated Conservative incumbent Susan Truppe in London North Centre. (45 points, 13 comments)
    7. Costco crash driver Ruth Burger appealing convictions (43 points, 73 comments)
    8. NDP incumbent Irene Mathyssen re-elected in London-Fanshawe. (39 points, 3 comments)
    9. I caught another one of London's great drivers today on dashcam, in 1 minute he runs a stop sign and uses the wrong lane to turn and cuts off traffic. (37 points, 61 comments)
    10. The London Jobs subreddit is now open! (35 points, 4 comments)
  3. 747 points, 28 submissions: Jaymesned
    1. A comprehensive list of useful links for Londoners! (63 points, 18 comments)
    2. St. Paddy's Day in London (54 points, 95 comments)
    3. We're number one! We're number one! London tops province...in crystal meth charges (53 points, 24 comments)
    4. Some pictures of London I took from the roof of One London Place earlier this year (39 points, 8 comments)
    5. Another truck becomes a convertible at the Talbot St train bridge (39 points, 29 comments)
    6. London Lawyer Publicizes “Illegal” Arrest By London Police (37 points, 25 comments)
    7. Original concept model of One London Place and the unbuilt second phase (36 points, 8 comments)
    8. Another week, another truck hits the Talbot Street underpass (32 points, 23 comments)
    9. This is not a repost: another truck has struck the Talbot St bridge (28 points, 13 comments)
    10. Underrated places to eat in London? (27 points, 51 comments)
  4. 579 points, 18 submissions: SeniorDiscount
    1. Dundas Street & Richmond Street - London, Ontario Circa 1941 (63 points, 13 comments)
    2. Londoners, let's help this cat kick the habit. (62 points, 23 comments)
    3. London Police set up a "Bait Bike" and cameras. It's stolen within minutes. [Story in comments] (49 points, 26 comments)
    4. There are 2 Coke Freestyle Machines at the newly renovated Wendy's at Oxford & Richmond (43 points, 40 comments)
    5. Kellogg's Closing London Plant. 500 workers shown the door. (42 points, 55 comments)
    6. Londoners Drew Doughty(D) & Jeff Carter(RW/C) make Canada's 2014 Olympic Men's Hockey Team! (36 points, 12 comments)
    7. Western Homecoming Interviews. Stay Classy Western! (36 points, 22 comments)
    8. Former London Mayor Joe Fontana to be sentenced tomorrow (Tuesday, July 15, 2014) (30 points, 4 comments)
    9. Finally! After almost 10 years, London in hosting an airshow! - Legends Over London - July 19th & 20th - Only $10! (30 points, 15 comments)
    10. London father and son land in animal-welfare crosshairs for African elephant hunt (30 points, 8 comments)
  5. 556 points, 19 submissions: inimrepus
    1. All 4 taxi companies in London, as well as Uber, will be providing free rides to the polls on Monday. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR NOT VOTING. (115 points, 4 comments)
    2. The truck lost a fight with the bridge (47 points, 14 comments)
    3. Billy West (Futurama) is coming to Forest City Comicon! (41 points, 4 comments)
    4. Sammy's Souvlaki owner released from hospital! (39 points, 4 comments)
    5. H.B. Beal awarded the prize for creativity at the First Robotics Championships! (38 points, 1 comment)
    6. No link between poor health and wind turbines - Health Canada (27 points, 17 comments)
    7. Sky view of the new psychiatric hospital (from LFPress article) (26 points, 10 comments)
    8. Digital Extremes hosts Warframe players to London in first-ever Tennocon (23 points, 5 comments)
    9. City tech leaders argue going with transit trains will keep effort to attract, retain talent on track (22 points, 15 comments)
    10. Councillors vote against giving cash-strapped Orchestra London emergency $375,000 infusion (21 points, 8 comments)
  6. 472 points, 15 submissions: moveyourcar1891
    1. 24-Hour walk-in Mental Health and Addictions Crisis Centre to open spring 2016 (60 points, 8 comments)
    2. No appointment needed at new walkin clinic for mental health (56 points, 17 comments)
    3. Woman's hijab pulled at Superking Supermarket, police investigating grocery store attack (50 points, 48 comments)
    4. TIL London has a 'Mad Cyclist;' man in a uni-tard who enjoys running joggers off the multi-use paths around Springbank Park (46 points, 39 comments)
    5. Fanshawe College fighting library bed bug infestation. (39 points, 10 comments)
    6. Fanshawe-Kingsmill’s Bid Passes At City Hall (30 points, 22 comments)
    7. London paramedic pleads with public to clear snow off cars (26 points, 23 comments)
    8. Orchestra London paid Joe Swan's teenage son $1500 for consulting work. (25 points, 8 comments)
    9. London teacher charged with voyeurism (24 points, 3 comments)
    10. The secrets below the streets of London, video of sewer built in 1897 (23 points, 4 comments)
  7. 467 points, 16 submissions: heavym
    1. Saw this bad boy (girl) in Victoria Park yesterday while walking home from work... (65 points, 8 comments)
    2. London will host the 2014 Memorial Cup. (45 points, 5 comments)
    3. Shad the new host of CBC's Q! (44 points, 12 comments)
    4. Stay classy London.... (41 points, 38 comments)
    5. I see you fellow redditor and you kindly have my up vote.... (38 points, 6 comments)
    6. I learned today that UWO has a tornado siren.... it blared at about 5pm (31 points, 7 comments)
    7. London... to Uber? or Not? (26 points, 44 comments)
    8. Interesting article about the City strike. (23 points, 11 comments)
    9. dave navarro (janes addiction, etc.) replaces london musician's guitar after reading a tweet that it had been stolen... cool story.. (22 points, 2 comments)
    10. The food truck saga continues. Is this City run by crazy people?? (21 points, 46 comments)
  8. 461 points, 15 submissions: theycallmemorty
    1. Chris Hadfield Tweeted a Picture of London from Space (73 points, 10 comments)
    2. IKEA coming to London (61 points, 24 comments)
    3. Las Vegas NHL Team won't be called the Knights due to trademark issues with the London Knights (55 points, 16 comments)
    4. Matt Brown had committed to doing an AMA! (36 points, 6 comments)
    5. LTC planning to roll out Tap and Ride in September (28 points, 15 comments)
    6. A peek inside the Canada Games Aquatic Centre (26 points, 9 comments)
    7. A New Rock Climbing Gym is Opening in London! (24 points, 15 comments)
    8. Construction on Oxford Street West is finally finished! (24 points, 12 comments)
    9. Weezer is playing Rock The Park this year (22 points, 8 comments)
    10. LTC moving to 'SmartCard' bus passes this fall (22 points, 37 comments)
  9. 344 points, 13 submissions: vanhalen_and_bacon
    1. Driving around the city today. (54 points, 29 comments)
    2. Photos of Orser moving (someone else's) election signs. (45 points, 17 comments)
    3. Finally. Council votes in favor of food trucks. (39 points, 7 comments)
    4. Public Health Officials Urge Anyone Tattooed At Lady Unlucky To Get Blood Tested (30 points, 7 comments)
    5. Two Suspects Arrested in Downtown London Stabbing Death (27 points, 2 comments)
    6. Illegal Body Rub Parlour Operating Downtown (21 points, 47 comments)
    7. Western Student Hit By London Police Cruiser (21 points, 102 comments)
    8. Friday Knight Lights; nine day suspension (20 points, 6 comments)
    9. Snuggle Therapy Arrives in London (18 points, 30 comments)
    10. CBC to expand operations in London, ON (18 points, 26 comments)
  10. 315 points, 10 submissions: howdareyou
    1. Just solved the Talbot St bridge crisis. You're welcome London. (66 points, 35 comments)
    2. Someone ran a red light, I captured it on my dashcam (49 points, 34 comments)
    3. We're getting another festival. Octoberfest is coming to Western Fair this fall. (36 points, 7 comments)
    4. HBO scientology doc, London featured a few times (34 points, 21 comments)
    5. Traffic impeded in both directions because this moron parked their car in the middle of the road (28 points, 27 comments)
    6. Are London Drivers Colour Blind? (27 points, 45 comments)
    7. Anyone know what kind of fighter jet this is that was circling around the airport today? (21 points, 13 comments)
    8. Another barn fire kills nearly 100 cows (19 points, 9 comments)
    9. Police: Drone Nearly Hit Medevac Helicopter Above Dundas Street (19 points, 26 comments)
    10. What do people have against walking on the sidewalk? (16 points, 20 comments)
Top Commenters
  1. stumpyraccoon (807 points, 360 comments)
  2. deimios (803 points, 241 comments)
  3. howdareyou (733 points, 148 comments)
  4. Perma (707 points, 177 comments)
  5. OrangeNova (628 points, 181 comments)
  6. Jaymesned (560 points, 118 comments)
  7. haljackey (548 points, 192 comments)
  8. JaquesNoir (491 points, 272 comments)
  9. LouisBalfour82 (488 points, 155 comments)
  10. umm123umm (482 points, 156 comments)
Top Submissions
  1. London's No-kill goal met! No stray or abandoned animals euthanized in London last year. by poopdedoop (138 points, 13 comments)
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  1. 73 points: DukeCanada's comment in Mayor Matt Brown confesses to affair with deputy mayor, will be taking a leave of absence
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2015.09.28 06:57 clearliquidclearjar Voyeur hot spring

First Friday this week, among a bunch of other things. Saturday looks like it is stacked and packed with daytime stuff. Couple of house shows and some comedy here and there. Just a ton of stuff all over town, go do it.
Please click here for details on this week’s movies at All Saints Cinema.
Check here for show times and tickets for Quincy Music Theater’s production of Mary Poppins.
MONDAY 9/28

  • Burrito Boarder: Bar Trivia With Hank. Each question handcrafted by local artisans. 5 rounds, 50 questions. Full bar, delicious food, bar tabs for the winners. 7 :30pm
  • Carolina House: Rotten Collective Presents: Test (Brazil)/Deterioration/Agitate/Macho:Mierda. 9pm/$5 probably/all ages
TUESDAY 9/29
  • Madison Social: Trivia Social. 7pm
  • Bird’s Oyster Shack: Live Trivia with JayBird. 7:30pm
  • Fourth Quarter: Trivia With Professor Jim. AUCE wings. 8pm
  • Midtown Speakeasy: Trivia With Hank. NEW NIGHT! Now on Tuesdays. 8:30pm/21+
  • The Grain: Open Mic, all are welcome, this week featuring Michael Strive. 9pm
  • The Tin Cow: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • Krewe de Gras: Karaoke With Pete. 9pm
  • Pockets Pool: Karaoke with Dwight. 10pm/21+
  • Club Downunder: Golden Tribe Lecture Series Presents: An Evening with Common. 6pm/GP $48
  • Fire Betty’s: People's Blues Of Richmond w/ Wild Creatures. 8pm/free/18+
  • The Warehouse: Readers’ Series with Mikayla Ávila Vilá and Gary Sheppard. 8pm
  • Shark Tank: Henrietta, Lingua Franca, Echo Base. 8pm/$5
WEDNESDAY 9/30
  • Bird’s Oyster Shack: Wednesday Night Lab Session with TD & Kathi Giddings. 6pm
  • Fermentation Lounge: Quizmaster General Knowledge Trivia. 7pm
  • GrassLands Brewing Company: BYOBG! Bring Your Own Board Game. “Our gracious host, Trevor Bond, will be featuring one game each week. Feel free to bring your own games to play & share.” 7pm/21+
  • Brass Tap on Gaines: Trivia. 7pm
  • Hurricane Grill & Wings: Trivia With Greg. 7pm
  • Proof in Railroad Sq: Bar Trivia With Hank. It’s out on the deck, so stick around afterward and play ping pong. There’s usually a food truck, or you can pick something up early from The Crum Box in the old caboose. 7:30pm/21+/no cover
  • Just One More: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • Bird’s: Comedy Night. 9:30pm/free
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bill’s): Karaoke with Nathan. 10pm
  • Madison Social: 3rd Annual Bourbon, Bacon and Brews Social. 6pm
  • Milano Pizzeria: Tallahassee PRIDEFEST 2016 Initial Planning Meeting. “Join us for our first PRIDEFEST 2016 planning meeting and become a part of the team that makes this annual cultural event such a success! Volunteers are needed for event planning, fundraising, logistics, sponsor and vendor support, volunteer leadership, and more! If you're interested in getting involved, join us on Wednesday, September 30th at Milano Pizzeria. All ages are welcome. If you can't attend but are still interested in getting involved, let us know at [email protected].” 6:30pm
  • The Plant on Gaines: Center for Participant Education First Meeting of the Semester. “Come learn about the origins of CPE and some of what we've got planned for the semester.” 7pm
  • Midtown Speakeasy: Steven King (Columbus), Forrest Lee, Bairs. 9pm/$5, 21+/$8, 18+
  • Liberty Bar: Retrofit Records 4 Year Anniversary Party W/ Ken Mode (Canada - Season Of Mist), Child Bite, Threshing & Garrett Jamieson. 10pm/free
THURSDAY 10/1:
  • Lake Ella Area: Food Truck Thursday with Bo’Hog Root. 6pm
  • Kleman Plaza: Downtown Yoga presented by Florida Blue. “All you have to do is bring your yoga mat and a desire to enjoy the classes.” 6pm/free
  • Crum Box Gastgarden: Thursday Evening Gastgarden Sessions featuring Dylan Ragpicker Allen. 7pm
  • HalfTime Pie Pub: Trivia. Check the Pub FB page for a theme and possible bonus points. 8pm
  • Pug’s Live: La Noche Variety Show + The Intoxicators. 8:30pm/$7 over 21, $10 under 21/18+
  • Club Downunder: Da$H w/ A$ton Matthews, Amber London, and Lamb$. 8:30pm/GP $12/18+
  • Gaines Street Pies: Bar Trivia With Hank @ Warhorse Whiskey Bar. Win a delicious 18” pizza! 9pm
  • Birds: Karaoke Hosted By Jumpin Jams. 10pm
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bills): Karaoke with Nathan. 10pm
  • Shriners Club on St. Francis: Jazz at the Oasis featuring Tribal Records artist Robert Griffin and the Robert Griffin Quartet. 7pm/$5
  • All Saints Café: GLOSS, Gouge Away, Night Witch, So What, Mercury Blood. GLOSS is fucking amazing fucking go. 7:30pm/$5, free to high school kids/all ages
  • Student Life Center: ASLC Classics Presents: PARIS IS BURNING. “Celebrating its 25th anniversary this year, Paris is Burning explores issues of race, class, and gender in the context of the New York City drag balls of the 1980s. This iconic documentary offers viewers an intimate portrait of the Harlem drag balls, where rival fashion houses composed of black and Latinx LGBTQ people, compete for trophies and cash prizes in a variety of categories.” 8:30pm
  • Midtown Speakeasy: Pucker Up (Ma), Smiler (Ga), Groovslave. 9pm/$5, 21+/$8, 18+
FRIDAY 10/2
  • Casa Grande: Karaoke with Nathan. Great song selection. 8pm
  • Parlay Sports Bar: Karaoke with Big Bob. 8pm
  • Just One More: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bill’s): Karaoke with DJ Scott Long. 10pm
  • Stetsons @ The Moon: Karaoke with Johnny Ray. 10pm/$5/18+
  • Holy Mother of God Greek Orthodox Church: Greek Festival. “OPA! Come and enjoy a two day Festival of all things Greek. Greek Dinners, Greek Pastries, Live Greek Music by The Hellenic Band and Greek Dancing and Greek Imported Items for purchase. FREE ADMISSION for the entire family. Scheduled tours of the beautiful Holy Mother of God sanctuary will be offered by Father Robert O'Loughlin. Mark your calendars to COME FOR THE FOOD AND LEAVE WITH THE CULTURE! Animals are not permitted at the Greek Festival with the exception of service animals and service animals in training.” 10am-10pm
  • Collins Library: Title Wave Used Book Sale. 11am-3pm
  • Olde Fields Clothing Co: Epic First Friday Tent Sale! 4pm
  • Proof in RR Sq: Prooftoberfest 2015! “The one day that celebrates what truly matters in life...beer & tubed meat! Join us at Proof Railroad Square for our annual Prooftoberfest on FRIDAY, Oct 2nd for a day of beer, German food and good times. We'll have beer, brats and all things German for the day and a 1L Steins full of our own Oktoberfest brew that you'll love. Doors open at 4pm, and Prooftoberfest 1L Steins are $20 and come with a token for a free fill & 1 ticket for a 1/2 price refill.”
  • Garages on Gaines: Artist Feature: Darla Winn. With music by Apalachee Trio. 4pm, music starts at 8pm
  • Ivory Tower Collective: Permanent Tourists, A Photo Exhibit. “ITC invites you to the opening of Permanent Tourists—an exhibition featuring a triad of Tallahassee photographers who explore what it means to be both Floridian and behind the lens. Cindy Miller, Al Hall, and Jacklyn Attaway are voyeurs in their own worlds.” 6pm
  • The Warehouse: Sarah Mac Band ['Florida' Album Release Party]. 7pm
  • The Crum Box Gastgarden: First Friday! with The Common 'Taters and Turn-Ups. 8pm/free
  • The Shark Tank: ¡¡¡Caution Children/Moths/States Avenue/TBA!!! 8pm/$5/all ages
  • RedEye Coffee: Jon Erkkila. 8pm
  • Miccosukee Root Cellar: Kim Thomas & George Boggs. 8pm
  • Bradfordville Blues Club: Doug Deming and Dennis Gruenling w/ The Jewel Tones. 8:30pm
  • Bread & Roses Kitchen: Second Birthday and First Friday Dance Party with KidDead w/ Ex-Novia, Human Subjects, and DJ Frenchy. "Human Subjects (Hannah Schwadron & Ilana Goldman) will be having a dance performance, Ex-novia & kidDEAD (Ross Norton) will be demonstrating hip-hop skills, then DJ Frenchy (me, Sari~) will kill it (like figuratively prolly put it to shame) on my tiny portable record player at the end of the night. Laura O'Connor, Reanna Bowman and Clark Hawks will have new art on the walls." 9pm
  • Atmosphere: A COURSE OF ACTION / STORM THE GATES / BAIRS/ Dylan "RAGPICKER" Allen. 9pm/
  • Midtown Speakeasy: The Superyouth (Sarasota), Dome, Anne Nicole Dela Cruz. 9pm/$5, 21+/$8, 18+
  • Side Bar Theater: Local Music/Comedy Friday: TRIAL BY STONE w/ Emerson, 30 In 60, Scott Peavy, Reymun Jarvis, Ryan Mawson. “There will be comedy from 9:00pm-10:25pm, Emerson from 10:30-11:00pm, more comedy including No Bears Allowed from 11:00-11:55pm and then Trial By stone will go on at midnight to close out the night!” 8:30pm/$7
  • Club Downunder: Standup Downunder. “Yay! It's the second show in our first Friday local comedy series! Come relax and listen to FSU and Tallahassee's local comedy scene make jokes, and if you've always wanted to try comedy yourself, sign up at the production table at the day of the event. We have 15 slots, first come first serve!” 8:30/GP $5/18+
  • Student Life Center: ASLC Classics Presents: PARIS IS BURNING. “Celebrating its 25th anniversary this year, Paris is Burning explores issues of race, class, and gender in the context of the New York City drag balls of the 1980s. This iconic documentary offers viewers an intimate portrait of the Harlem drag balls, where rival fashion houses composed of black and Latinx LGBTQ people, compete for trophies and cash prizes in a variety of categories.” 8:30pm
  • Pug’s Live: The Unicorn Wranglers (Pensacola) w/ The Bean Burritos & The Losing Team. 9pm/$6 over 21, $8 under 21/18+
SATURDAY 10/3
  • Park at Monroe: The Downtown Marketplace.
  • Corner of Georgia & Macomb: Frenchtown Farmers’ Market. “The Frenchtown Heritage Market offers a wide variety of fresh, naturally grown produce. Live music, cooking demos, fruits vegetables, and honey sold directly by farmers.” I bought some beet jelly there last week, and it’s delicious. 9am – 1pm.
  • Wakulla Springs Lodge: Bob Carey on Piano. “Last week we had a lot of fun guest performers at the grand piano in the lobby. Come on out and bring along your vocal chops, browse through my lyrics book, pick up one of my pass-around mics and sing your heart out, or just grab a stool and enjoy a fun filled evening of music and dancing. Full bar open til late.” 7pm
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bills): Karaoke With Nathan. If you want to sing and drink cheap beer and liquor and not have to wait for huge crowds, this is your spot. 10pm
  • Defense First: NRA Basic Pistol / Concealed Carry Course. 8:30am-5pm/$125
  • Cascades Park: AIDS Walk/5k 2015. “As a part of the celebration that is AIDS Walk/5k 2015, this year we are looking to make a big splash... Not only will you be able to come out and support one of Tallahassee's most proactive and impactful non-profits, but you will be entertained! We are proud to let you know that we will have a DJ and 3 great local groups performing on the amphitheater stage!” 8am-1pm
  • Tallahassee Nurseries: Day of the Dog. “We will have several dog rescues, dog supply stores, and just about anything that has anything to do with dogs! Oh! and live music, free snowballs from Big Easy Snowballs, and a food truck to keep the zen!” 9am
  • Collins Library: Title Wave Used Book Sale. 9am-3pm
  • Lewis Park (downtown): 11th Annual Experience Asia 2015. 10am-5pm
  • Holy Mother of God Greek Orthodox Church: Greek Festival. “OPA! Come and enjoy a two day Festival of all things Greek. Greek Dinners, Greek Pastries, Live Greek Music by The Hellenic Band and Greek Dancing and Greek Imported Items for purchase. FREE ADMISSION for the entire family. Scheduled tours of the beautiful Holy Mother of God sanctuary will be offered by Father Robert O'Loughlin. Mark your calendars to COME FOR THE FOOD AND LEAVE WITH THE CULTURE! Animals are not permitted at the Greek Festival with the exception of service animals and service animals in training.” 10am-10pm
  • St. Joseph Bay State Buffer Preserve: Bay Day. “St. Joseph Bay Preserves was created to restore the land, protect the water, and preserve the future of St. Joseph Bay. At the Bay Day celebration you can explore the forest buffer zone with tram tours and discover the importance of the upland cleansing of water, explore St. Joseph Bay with nature walks, and learn about the local reptile and bird populations. Free guided tours at 10:00, 12:00, and 2:00 EST. A delicious Low Country Shrimp Boil can be enjoyed for a $10 donation, from 11:00-2:00 EST. Live music.”
  • Mission San Luis: Blessing of Animals. “Pet owners, animal lovers, and furry, feathered, or other friends are invited to the eleventh annual Blessing of Animals at Mission San Luis. The event features individual pet blessings, activities for children, and animal organization exhibits. The Blessing of Animals originated in the 13th century in remembrance of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals and the environment, who believed that all animals should be treated with dignity and respect. Mission San Luis is a pet-friendly site, so bring your companions and enjoy the beautiful park setting and living history programs year-round.” 10am-2:30pm
  • 5F Farms Event Center (Quincy, FL): Caribbean Family Festival. 10am-8pm/$5
  • 400 Block of Georgia St: Frenchtown Heritage Fest 2015. “a celebration of culture, commerce and community set in the heart of historic Frenchtown. The 2015 festival will feature local artists, handmade crafts,music, food and family fun with the ever-hilarious hula hoop contest and the always-exciting Double Dutch show. The Frenchtown Fresh Challenge is back,showcasing local food and local cooking talent. With an eye to the future,the community unites in common vision to restore, reinvigorate and realize a thriving Frenchtown. Come out and join us!” 10am-4pm/free
  • Downtown Thomasville: Semi-Annual Downtown Thomasville Sidewalk Sale. 10am-5pm
  • Lake Ella: Science Saturday. “This is a fun, educational, kid-friendly and hands-on event. We have over 70 organizations that are participating to give you and your family an incredible day of wonderment. And it is Free. This festival is designed for you and your family to have an exciting and educational experience. The exhibitors will bring science to life, letting children of all ages experience its wonders while demonstrating that science is not magic, but it is the foundation of the magical home we call earth.” 10am-2pm
  • Bradfordville Blues Club: 7th Annual Big Bend Hospice Benefit Concert In Memory of Pat Ramsey. “This will be the 7th year of this event benefiting Big Bend Hospice in Pat's honor. Pat Ramsey (www.Facebook.com/PatRamseyLegacy) was a well known and loved person, musician & blues singer around the globe. Pat passed away on Nov. 17, 2008 in the care of Hospice and his music lives on and he is remembered in the hearts of his family, friends and fans.” Check out the details here. 1pm-2am/$20, kids under 12 free
  • Mickee Faust Club: Bad to Verse! “This rowdy mash-up of performance, improv, and audience participation is a FUNdraising event like no other! Performers may present good material badly or perform bad material well, and the audience (for a small fee) gets to decide if the act could use accompaniment from some back up dancers, a jazz duo, or maybe the whole awful lot of them need to be shoooshed off stage? Or worse… Repeated! The Faustkateers will serve as performers, but we also open it up to anyone who want to do something fabulous and/or terrible up on stage! Comment below if you want to perform! No advance ticket sales for this one, so be sure to bring your cash to contribute to the fun!”
  • Bird’s: Beetlejuice & Fright Night: A Trash Cinema Trashyween Double Feature! “Halloween costumes, especially based on Beetlejuice and Fright Night, are highly endorsed and even recommended.” 8pm/free/18+
  • Side Bar Theater: YING YANG TWINS ("Get Low", "Salt Shaker") with opening sets from DJ Trill Trax, Dynasty Music Entertainment (Dme), Blakiron, Yt, Enigma September, J.See, Dabeast, Cory Cannon & Da'quan! 8:30pm/$18 advance, price gets up closer to the show/18+ - $2 under 21 fee at the door, under 18 admitted only with parent or guardian.
  • Mint Lounge: Come Out Saturdays, featuring the Midnight Drag Review. 9pm/18+
SUNDAY 10/4
  • Sidecar: Bar Trivia With Hank. 6 rounds of facts and factoids. 7pm
  • Proof in RR Sq: Prooftoberfest 5K Run/Walk. 9am
  • HIFI Jazz Café: Elemental Brunch Series. Classy Casual w/ Element Themes • Water - Blues, white and cool colors • Fire – Reds, oranges and hot, warm colors • Earth – Brown, greens and dark earth tones • Wind – Whites, pastels and light earth tones Entrée Prices: • Small: $15.00 • Medium: $20.00 • Large: $25.00. 10:30am-3pm
  • Collins Library: Title Wave Used Book Sale. 11am-3pm
  • Fire Betty’s: YIP DECEIVER (ex-OF MONTREAL!) w/ Buster Wolf & Melt Channel. 8:30pm/free
  • Side Bar Theater: MORNING FATTY w/ Sway Jah Vu. 9pm/$10/all ages
Keep checking back, sometimes I update. Got anything to add?
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2015.05.29 05:08 nucensorship Voyeur hot spring

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