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Just becareful that keep your fingers clean. Do not hurt yourself. Do not do it in the car. It is not safe. You want do it in public because you feel excited about do it in the public. The same excitment when you do it at other public places. Reduce the frequency gradually and focus yourself on something sels. You can just do it at night time. 27 / F4M- Are you insatiable? How many times a day do you find yourself stroking? My Reddit is full of videos and gifs of guys erect, hard in public, stroking, edging, playing with toys and cumming all over themselves, spraying it everywhere. Without the option of IRL sex, you may now find yourself masturbating way more than you ever have. While there are clear benefits to masturbation—you’re not going to get a sexually transmitted ... Follow the program on a 4day a week schedule. When you're done, take a break for about a month. The reason is, the routine causes a lot of stress on the body, emotionally and physically. If you do it longer it can lead to mental issues, such as depression, frustration, etc, because you won't be able to keep up. As progesterone causes a slight rise in body temperature, taking your temperature each morning before getting out of bed can tell you if ovulation has just occurred. While inexpensive (BBT thermometers cost around $10 at the local drugstore) and simple, there are drawbacks to using BBT. If you’re going to do a workout like INSANITY or you’re going to play basketball or do something that’s really energetic and hype, you don’t want to fill your body up with bad food because that’s not going to help you later in the day. So if you’re eating a lot of sugar throughout the day, by the time you get to the end of the day ...

2020.01.06 16:38 VegasHoney Vouyer x video

My Reddit is full of videos and gifs of guys erect, hard in public, stroking, edging, playing with toys and cumming all over themselves, spraying it everywhere.
I love the male orgasm, it’s so visual and explosive.
I’m curious if there are men in Vegas who would like to be watched while they satisfy themselves.
Please reply to these 3 questions in a direct message;
• On an average day how long do you spend touching/edging/pleasuring yourself?
“Two times a day for 10 minutes each” or “one quick in the morning and then a hour edging at night” etc
• do you ever masturbate at work or in public? Where and how often?
• would you enjoy having a woman watching? Maybe a helping hand but 99% vouyerism, dirty talk, teasing, maybe some kissing.
submitted by VegasHoney to vegasr4r [link] [comments]


2019.06.07 16:59 Carlislegendary Video vouyer x

How does one describe Brian De Palma?
De Palma
How does one describe Brian De Palma? Many have accused him of being a misogynist for his films’ violent behavior towards women in thrillers such as Blow Out or Dressed to Kill. Others have commented that De Palma is just a knock-off of Hollywood legend Alfred Hitchcock, as De Palma uses similar formal techniques and even story ideas from classics like Rear Window or Psycho. Though many of De Palma’s movies have become significant within pop culture, most have nevertheless generated controversy for their recurrent use of graphic violence, themes of obsession, and voyeurism. Even if these criticisms of De Palma were entirely true, there’s no denying that his talent as a director or his widespread influence on other filmmakers. Indeed, Brian De Palma has proven again and again over his decades-long career to be one of cinema’s finest provocateurs, fascinated with how people can manipulate images and how those images can, in turn, affect others.
From the beginning of his filmography, De Palma has shown a fierce fascination with cinema and the art of creating images. His first feature in 1968, Murder a la Mod, features a young amateur filmmaker who shoots a cheap pornographic movie to make quick money. De Palma’s formal style itself shows the director’s love for the image; most of his films feature carefully choreographed long shots, split-screens of two separate places, and split-diopter shots that close in on an object or person in the foreground while also maintaining focus on something else in the background. Even De Palma’s recently released thriller Domino, despite a severely cut-down narrative, contains a shocking split-screen sequence that examines how recorded images of violence can easily spread online and thus turn into propaganda
De Palma’s earliest films were low-budget features shot in or around New York City. Three of these starred a young Robert De Niro, who was also beginning to make a name for himself in the film industry. The last and most famous of these early collaborations, Hi, Mom! (1970), was a dark comedy that introduced the themes of voyeurism and images that would become staples of De Palma’s later filmography. De Niro stars as Jon Rubin, a young man returning from Vietnam who has an idea to put a camera outside his window and film people in apartments across the street. Rubin at first gets financial help from an adult film producer and shoots footage of a middle-class family, a rich young playboy, and a college student involved with a black radical group. Rubin even decides to “create” films himself; he seduces a young woman in one of the apartments he spies on and has sex with her in her apartment after setting his camera to start recording after a certain time. Through Rubin, we see not only De Palma’s fascination with vouyerism (there are long sequences of each apartment and its inhabitants, some shots sped up for humor) but also with cinema itself. The girl Rubin dates and seduces on-camera is unaware she’s an actress in a film, showing how much deception inherently goes into making cinema.
The most famous scene of Hi, Mom! occurs after Rubin is fired. Desperately looking for easy money, he gets hired by the black radical group to play a part in a experimental theatrical performance, Be Black, Baby. Shot entirely on 16mm film, the sequence involves several wealthy white audience members going to the production set in an empty apartment building. The black actors running the show make the white people eat soul food and paint their faces black while they don whiteface. From there, the white audience members are terrorized and chased from room to room by the actors as an attempt for the white patrons to understand the “black experience.” Rubin plays a policeman who comes in at the end of the performance to further scare the audience before chasing them out of the building. At the end, the stunned white audience praises the show; the black actors are disappointed and one sourly remarks, “I don’t think they learned a thing.” Though the extended scene is also a hilarious satire of the New York underground theater movement, it also serves as another example of cinema as manipulation. Because of the intense performances by the black actors and Rubin, the white patrons are deceived into thinking they are in serious danger and forget that they are part of a performance until they are let free and given time to calm down.
After a string of successes in the 1970s including Phantom of the Paradise and Carrie, De Palma made several studio films in the 1980s, some highly commercial (Scarface, The Untouchables) and some were more personal psychological thrillers. Body Double, made immediately after Scarface was negatively received by critics and gained controversy for its graphic violence, was released as a bitter response to Hollywood animosity and was a twisted homage to Hitchcock’s Rear Window and Vertigo. After he catches his girlfriend cheating on him, unemployed actor Jake Scully (Craig Wasson) decides to house-sit for Sam (Gregg Henry) for several days. At the house before leaving, Sam shows Scully a telescope where he watches a neighbor (Deborah Shelton) do a seductive dance alone every night. Scully quickly becomes fascinated with the neighbor and begins stalking her around Los Angeles during the day. One night, Scully watches the neighbor become brutally murdered by a mysterious, disfigured man; he later discovers that the woman he saw each night dancing was a porn actress, Holly Body (Melanie Griffith), hired by Sam to make sure Scully would watch every night. Sam — wearing a mask to look like the disfigured man — killed the real neighbor, his wife Gloria, and used Scully as the perfect alibi.
Body Double is one of De Palma’s most unnerving works, examining our relationship to cinema and how audiences expectations can subjectively affect the images they see. Sam chooses Scully to become an unknowing witness because he knows Scully has recently lost his girlfriend and is lonely. Indeed, Scully projects his sexual desires on to the dancing woman, even following Gloria around as she shops in a mall or walks to the beach. Scully’s voyeuristic act of watching through a telescope implicates us the viewers as well, as we too become an audience to Holly’s erotic dance. After Gloria’s murder, a distraught Scully watches a porn channel and sees Holly doing the same dance she did for him in the window. From here on, Scully transforms from a passive audience member into an active participant; he auditions for a music video with Holly and introduces himself to her as a porn producer as a way to get the truth out of her. The music video itself — set to Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s single “Relax” — is a film within a film — as Scully plays a man wandering through a strip club and eventually seduced by Holly. Both within and without Body Double, we clearly see how cinema and its imagery can manipulate us, yet there is still a part of us that allows us to get tricked and deceived every time.
One of De Palma’s last Hollywood-funded movies, Snake Eyes was given negative reviews from critics and audiences alike, but it remains an essential De Palma film. Detective Rick Santoro (Nicolas Cage) goes to an Atlantic City boxing match to help guard the Secretary of Defense alongside an old friend Kevin Dunne (Gary Sinise), now a U.S. Navy Commander. When the Secretary gets fatally shot, the arena closes down and Santoro searches for suspects who might have been involved in a larger conspiracy. Most of the film is shown through Rashomon-style flashbacks; Santoro hears stories from different people about where they were and what they were doing when the shooting took place. Yet, Santoro soon realizes some of the statements he’s been given contradicts others — the recollections of witness Julia (Carla Gugino) reveal that Dunne’s story was fabricated and that he was part of the plan to kill the Secretary.
Much of Snake Eyes revolves around the objectivity of the surveillance camera as opposed to the memories of individuals. The film opens on newsreel footage of a storm outside the match and moves from one television to another. Santoro is first seen standing next to a pay-per-view reporter shown on a television and then moves off of the television screen and on to our own. Santoro only believes Julia’s story when he sees footage of Dunne meeting with the shooter minutes before the Secretary’s death. De Palma seems to recognize that a camera recording by itself is unbiased, but those images can easily be changed or constructed to show or hide the truth. When Dunne erases the surveillance video, the camera moves to a different news screen where corrupt casino owner Gilbert Powell (John Heard) lies to reporters about how the Secretary of Defense was killed. The Secretary of Defense was killed because Julia, a military manufacturer analyst, told him that the results of a new missile guard system supported by Dunne and Powell were faked so he would approve its use. Here, one can see a significant change in De Palma’s examination of imagery. In Hi, Mom!, Rubin comically seduces a woman to create an adult film; Sam creates the image of Holly’s dance to get away with murder in Body Double. On the other hand, images are erased or manipulated by military officials and corporation executives for large profits in Snake Eyes. The institutional corruption discovered by Santoro is so vast and widespread that De Palma’s original ending to the film (the casino washing away entirely in the midst of the hurricane) makes much more sense.
De Palma’s filmography of the last 20 years has been mostly independently financed and hasn’t received the same distribution or success as his previous work. Domino is the best example; De Palma had trouble with producers during filming, and a 140-minute rough cut of the film got shortened to the 89-minute version being released this week. Yet, despite all these troubles, there are still sequences within Domino that demonstrate De Palma’s artistry just as much in Body Double or Snake Eyes. No other filmmaker has so thoroughly examined our relationship with cinema and how its artificiality can deceive us. Even in his late 70s, De Palma is still thinking about how images can be manipulated, and in turn, manipulate an idea more relevant than ever in a world filled with billions of cellphones and a limitless global network.
Brian De Palma: Obsessed with the Image By Ethan Cartwright
submitted by Carlislegendary to TrueFilm [link] [comments]


2018.03.05 08:30 TakuHazard X video vouyer

So there is my second semester in college and I am an international student so being in Canada had some unique challenges. Luckily in one of math classes I made a friend with this girl and truthfully the only reason I actually talked to her was because I didn't have a pen. Anyways I asked her for lunch and pretty much became a routine.Its important at this point to point out that I didn't find her attractive at this point in time and also that she lived a fair distance off campus.Furthermore for convenience I will call her Gabriella.
After some time, we would skip lunch and just walk around campus just talking about some pretty random topics like shows we both watch (she is a big GOT fan) and our future aspirations because we are both math majors. After a while I started developing feelings but didn't act because I was already trying with another person. So as the first semester drew to a close, the other girl I had been trying my luck with dropped because of medical issues and at this point I had become really close (at least in my perspective) friends. My other feelings became even stronger but due to lack of courage and also what I deemed to be non interest I didn't act. We finished the semester really well and thus began the Christmas break.
So since I don't have any relatives on the continent I spent my Christmas holed up in my room doing nothing but watching Netflix Shows. Gabriella began tagging me in numerous memes on Facebook and I tagged back. We didn't really talk till I messaged her. Somehow she got the idea to get me a Christmas present because I had never received one and she got to campus (which involved close to 90 minutes transit) and like an idiot I thought that I had a chance.
At this point, one of my ex-friends (this is important, moreover I am the one who introduced them) figured out the jig and asked me if I had feelings for her. I confessed to him, which in hindsight was a really bad mistake because this guy is low-key manipulative and a control freak (to be fair, if we are completely objective I also think I have some psychopath tendencies too which I will explain). So on the turn of the new year the dude showed up at my room and since no-one else was around on campus he decided to spend the evening with me. We went to his room and were watching youtube videos on his computer. He had to go to the bathroom and for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to try read the guy's chats with Gabriella. There was nothing important but out of fear I barely had a glance on it and I quickly covered my tracks. 30 minutes later the guy had to go to the kitchen to fetch some hot water and my vouyer nature came up again. I went further back and again found nothing to interesting but I forgot to cover up my tracks completely and just closed the tab. The guy came back opened his Mac and reopened the tab I had closed and I was caught red handed. I was really embarrassed but he seemed cool about it and demanded more information on the whole situation. I thought at this time that the guy was actually trying to help me. Okay at this point I think its best if we call the guy Kevin.
So Kevin concurred with me that I had a decent shot and insisted that I make a move fast. I was a bit hesitant and wanted to let things develop at their own pace but the guy argued that I had to make a move pronto (may be useful knowing that Kevin had publicly also chased 2 girls and had been rejected). He also joked that if I didn't tell her, he personally would. Because of other unrelated situations, I was a bit scared of him because I suspected the manipulative streak he had but I didn't fully understand its scope or the lengths he would go to screw me up. So once the new semester began I gathered my guts and told her about my feelings in her face. I didn't think she understand the gravity of " I know this is weird but I like you" . My courage immediately escaped .Later that evening I sent a long message that clearly stated my position and spent the next 24 hours shit scared. I think she read the message after 5 hours and didn't respond for sometime. When she did I inevitably got rejected but she was kind about it. I was shit embarassed and after 6 hours lost my nerve and sent another message apologizing and telling her that I want to remain friends etc. She believed and I think I actually believed, although some part of me really likes her as friend tbf. Consciously though I was already planning another advance. When Kevin asked me how it had gone, I lied and told me that she said I should wait. That was my first mistake and I am sure Kevin read through my lie.
So from January to two weeks ago I was spending more time with Gabriella doing things like going to Staples and Walmart and just aisle browse. I became to appreciate to even greater heights how awesome she was. She also introduced her to her old high school friends and I joined the manga club so I could spend more time with her. I am not entirely sure if she believed that my motivation was entirely pure. Simultaneously , I was also trying to cut my ties with the Kevin character and tbh I had began hating him. He was such a big control freak and would hound me for my grades even for classes I didn't take with him. At the point I didn't know that his conversations with Gabriella had become more serious.
Anyways in between all this, I became close with one of Gabriella's other old high school friends and he invited me to a social event at his college. When we were making our way home, he asked me if I liked Gabriella and since he seemed like a genuinely nice guy he said that he thought I had a decent shot (didn't tell him about my earlier on rejection) and that the next time they had a group outing or event he would vouch for my invite.
I had also felt bad about not getting Gabriella a X-mas present so I had ordered a GOT jacket from Amazon and the complete Sherlock Holmes volumes because she would call me her Sherlock and I referred to her as Watson. The shipment was terribly delayed but came in time for her birthday so I gifted her the package about 2 weeks before her bday which was late February.
Last week, Gabriella suddenly invited me to her birthday party and tbh I had the best time I ever had. It was nothing crazy and her parents were around and truthfully I did feel a bit left out but I have never been invited to a party before and Gabriella tried every chance she had to include me. Before I left to take the transit home she gave me her gift for my birthday and it was a GOT t-shirt.Once I got back home I read the note and she had put a Jon Snow reference.Its at this point where I made a serious mistake. I proceeded to ask her if she would be Daneyrs if I would be Jon Snow and she didn't reply. This is Saturday night.
By Monday I knew something was wrong and after my evening math class I went to the dining all and guess who was waiting for me- Kevin. He seemed really nervous and causally asked me if I was still talking to Gabriella. I told him that not too often and asked if something was up. He told me "he was waiting for information" and asked me if I had a midterm anytime soon. I had one the very next day and told him so.I quickly had my dinner and went back to my room.
After about 2 hours of studying, Kevin came up to my room and told me that he had to tell me something. I again mentioned that I had to study and couldn't afford to talk for long. He sat me down and told me that he had been talking to Gabriella and that she had told him that she didn't have any feelings whatsoever for anyone. He then proceeded to specifically point out that he had brought up my name and she had said that she had moved on and that I hadn't (which is kinda true). She also specifically pointed out my Daenyrs comment. I was too upset to read further (which I should have).Kevin told me he had done what he thought was best and hoped the news wouldn't affect my studying.
My night was ruined and I know this is sounds sad and obsessive but I seriously considered killing myself that night and actually was able to choke my till I almost passed out. I am not really good with emotions and tbh it was obvious but I really felt down. You know when you have been socially rejected your whole life such hangups really hurt... Anyways I sent her these messages(https://takuhazard.imgur.com/all/) and (https://takuhazard.imgur.com/all/). She never responded understandably and all of this is my fault. I should have never done that and dealt with the whole situation sensibly.
I saw her on Friday and she acted as though nothing was wrong and that Friday night I sent an apology for everything and she didn't reply.Today I sent her another message and she hasn't even opened it. I just want to take everything back. The bridges with Kevin are fully burnt and I really hate the guy now. I also think he told her about my creepy episode with the messages thing.
Anyways my situation is dire and tbh its of my own making. I still have feelings tbh but I value our friendship more importantly. I don't know what to do. I know my suicidal actions on Friday night are not healthy and if I could I would go see the counsellor. Tbh I can also see where Kevin was coming from. I am afraid in all this I am the villain. She has class tomorrow so I have a window of opportunity. I guess I am just going to say goodbye tbh :(
submitted by TakuHazard to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2018.03.05 08:14 TakuHazard X video vouyer

So there is my second semester in college and I am an international student so being in Canada had some unique challenges. Luckily in one of math classes I made a friend with this girl and truthfully the only reason I actually talked to her was because I didn't have a pen. Anyways I asked her for lunch and pretty much became a routine.Its important at this point to point out that I didn't find her attractive at this point in time and also that she lived a fair distance off campus.Furthermore for convenience I will call her Gabriella.
After some time, we would skip lunch and just walk around campus just talking about some pretty random topics like shows we both watch (she is a big GOT fan) and our future aspirations because we are both math majors. After a while I started developing feelings but didn't act because I was already trying with another person. So as the first semester drew to a close, the other girl I had been trying my luck with dropped because of medical issues and at this point I had become really close (at least in my perspective) friends. My other feelings became even stronger but due to lack of courage and also what I deemed to be non interest I didn't act. We finished the semester really well and thus began the Christmas break.
So since I don't have any relatives on the continent I spent my Christmas holed up in my room doing nothing but watching Netflix Shows. Gabriella began tagging me in numerous memes on Facebook and I tagged back. We didn't really talk till I messaged her. Somehow she got the idea to get me a Christmas present because I had never received one and she got to campus (which involved close to 90 minutes transit) and like an idiot I thought that I had a chance.
At this point, one of my ex-friends (this is important, moreover I am the one who introduced them) figured out the jig and asked me if I had feelings for her. I confessed to him, which in hindsight was a really bad mistake because this guy is low-key manipulative and a control freak (to be fair, if we are completely objective I also think I have some psychopath tendencies too which I will explain). So on the turn of the new year the dude showed up at my room and since no-one else was around on campus he decided to spend the evening with me. We went to his room and were watching youtube videos on his computer. He had to go to the bathroom and for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to try read the guy's chats with Gabriella. There was nothing important but out of fear I barely had a glance on it and I quickly covered my tracks. 30 minutes later the guy had to go to the kitchen to fetch some hot water and my vouyer nature came up again. I went further back and again found nothing to interesting but I forgot to cover up my tracks completely and just closed the tab. The guy came back opened his Mac and reopened the tab I had closed and I was caught red handed. I was really embarrassed but he seemed cool about it and demanded more information on the whole situation. I thought at this time that the guy was actually trying to help me. Okay at this point I think its best if we call the guy Kevin.
So Kevin concurred with me that I had a decent shot and insisted that I make a move fast. I was a bit hesitant and wanted to let things develop at their own pace but the guy argued that I had to make a move pronto (may be useful knowing that Kevin had publicly also chased 2 girls and had been rejected). He also joked that if I didn't tell her, he personally would. Because of other unrelated situations, I was a bit scared of him because I suspected the manipulative streak he had but I didn't fully understand its scope or the lengths he would go to screw me up. So once the new semester began I gathered my guts and told her about my feelings in her face. I didn't think she understand the gravity of " I know this is weird but I like you" . My courage immediately escaped .Later that evening I sent a long message that clearly stated my position and spent the next 24 hours shit scared. I think she read the message after 5 hours and didn't respond for sometime. When she did I inevitably got rejected but she was kind about it. I was shit embarassed and after 6 hours lost my nerve and sent another message apologizing and telling her that I want to remain friends etc. She believed and I think I actually believed, although some part of me really likes her as friend tbf. Consciously though I was already planning another advance. When Kevin asked me how it had gone, I lied and told me that she said I should wait. That was my first mistake and I am sure Kevin read through my lie.
So from January to two weeks ago I was spending more time with Gabriella doing things like going to Staples and Walmart and just aisle browse. I became to appreciate to even greater heights how awesome she was. She also introduced her to her old high school friends and I joined the manga club so I could spend more time with her. I am not entirely sure if she believed that my motivation was entirely pure. Simultaneously , I was also trying to cut my ties with the Kevin character and tbh I had began hating him. He was such a big control freak and would hound me for my grades even for classes I didn't take with him. At the point I didn't know that his conversations with Gabriella had become more serious.
Anyways in between all this, I became close with one of Gabriella's other old high school friends and he invited me to a social event at his college. When we were making our way home, he asked me if I liked Gabriella and since he seemed like a genuinely nice guy he said that he thought I had a decent shot (didn't tell him about my earlier on rejection) and that the next time they had a group outing or event he would vouch for my invite.
I had also felt bad about not getting Gabriella a X-mas present so I had ordered a GOT jacket from Amazon and the complete Sherlock Holmes volumes because she would call me her Sherlock and I referred to her as Watson. The shipment was terribly delayed but came in time for her birthday so I gifted her the package about 2 weeks before her bday which was late February.
Last week, Gabriella suddenly invited me to her birthday party and tbh I had the best time I ever had. It was nothing crazy and her parents were around and truthfully I did feel a bit left out but I have never been invited to a party before and Gabriella tried every chance she had to include me. Before I left to take the transit home she gave me her gift for my birthday and it was a GOT t-shirt.Once I got back home I read the note and she had put a Jon Snow reference.Its at this point where I made a serious mistake. I proceeded to ask her if she would be Daneyrs if I would be Jon Snow and she didn't reply. This is Saturday night.
By Monday I knew something was wrong and after my evening math class I went to the dining all and guess who was waiting for me- Kevin. He seemed really nervous and causally asked me if I was still talking to Gabriella. I told him that not too often and asked if something was up. He told me "he was waiting for information" and asked me if I had a midterm anytime soon. I had one the very next day and told him so.I quickly had my dinner and went back to my room.
After about 2 hours of studying, Kevin came up to my room and told me that he had to tell me something. I again mentioned that I had to study and couldn't afford to talk for long. He sat me down and told me that he had been talking to Gabriella and that she had told him that she didn't have any feelings whatsoever for anyone. He then proceeded to specifically point out that he had brought up my name and she had said that she had moved on and that I hadn't (which is kinda true). She also specifically pointed out my Daenyrs comment. I was too upset to read further (which I should have).Kevin told me he had done what he thought was best and hoped the news wouldn't affect my studying.
My night was ruined and I know this is sounds sad and obsessive but I seriously considered killing myself that night and actually was able to choke my till I almost passed out. I am not really good with emotions and tbh it was obvious but I really felt down. You know when you have been socially rejected your whole life such hangups really hurt... Anyways I sent her these messages(https://takuhazard.imgur.com/all/) and (https://takuhazard.imgur.com/all/). She never responded understandably and all of this is my fault. I should have never done that and dealt with the whole situation sensibly.
I saw her on Friday and she acted as though nothing was wrong and that Friday night I sent an apology for everything and she didn't reply.Today I sent her another message and she hasn't even opened it. I just want to take everything back. The bridges with Kevin are fully burnt and I really hate the guy now. I also think he told her about my creepy episode with the messages thing.
Anyways my situation is dire and tbh its of my own making. I still have feelings tbh but I value our friendship more importantly. I don't know what to do. I know my suicidal actions on Friday night are not healthy and if I could I would go see the counsellor. Tbh I can also see where Kevin was coming from. I am afraid in all this I am the villain. She has class tomorrow so I have a window of opportunity. I guess I am just going to say goodbye tbh :(
submitted by TakuHazard to Advice [link] [comments]


2016.01.15 10:27 NoFapPal X video vouyer

I hate watching to people doing stuff and wanking to it, it make me feels very bad I suppose because your are doing like you are vouyering or something. What I like more are the streaptse and teasing of the girls, like if they are talking with you or send you a video.
Yes yesterday I did relapse (watching not cumming) I could not control myself and edge for hours looking this kind of videos. I did not cum as i am in my 23 day of streak and I dont want to loose. This edge looking at porn session was the results of installing baddo an add like Tinder, this type of adds give you the dopamine spikes everytime you pass to the next girl that we want to evitate. Also I was nticing the need of some dopamine in my body for a few days... I gues im still a hell of an addict.
submitted by NoFapPal to NoFap [link] [comments]


2014.11.22 02:47 usedtobeacreep When I was a 12-14 I did perverted things and it's now coming back to me after blocking it away

it all started when I was 12 discovering porn for the first time. I was burnout on weed almost all the time and didnt really have a grasp on reality and oblivous to sexual taboos once I starting finding weirder porn except fucked up bdsm or pain shit. I started getting really into vouyerism and flashing videos and really didnt realize how fucked up it was. one time I came across a stepmom son type scene and I was really confused which led me to have an attraction to my step mom because as I started to believe she started to act like the porn actress. One day I was just in the living room just me and her and I had one of those random boners came up with out arousol or anything. She came in there and started vacuuming with a short skirt. I had a huge ripped whole in my pajamas and had a impulse to have my thing hang out and act like I didnt notice and Im 100% sure she saw it but didnt say a word and even sat down in the chair right across rrom me and had like a 5 minute conversation with me. Im pretty sure she might have have been drinking a little bit too and my thing was sticking out all the way right in between my thighs laying in a fetal position. I had a an enormous "Thing" for my age by the way and theres no way she didnt see it.. I had extreme arousal and my hormones were raging and too stoned like I said to realize how fucked up it is do that to your stepmom and what couldve happened if she said something about it. I did it several more times with each fueling me to go futhur. The worst moment was when I purposely opened the door all the way in my bathroom as I was butt naked as I asked her to grab me a towel and she didn't say anything about it. The most fucked up and last flash I did was when I was fucked up on xanax and there was a nurse taking care of my greatgrandma in an at her home type care/alternative to a retirement home. After we put my grandma to bed in the bedroom we watched tv in the living room together and I had a blanket almost over my knees and my thing was sticking out of my boxers and I knew she was looking at it and again I actēd like I wasnt noticing I dont think she was creeped out and she was even having a little coversation with me has I had a full hard on. That was my last time I flashed anyone which I was 14 and a half years old. A part of me started to realize what the fuck I was doing the next morning and I was disgusted with myself. My grandma died about 4 months after that moment and I almost triggered a mental breakdown but managed to block it out avoiding the nurse. I blocked it out for the next 3 years later when I quit doing drugs it is now all coming back to me because im now sexually mature and its fucking with me. I know the "victims" aren't emotionally disturbed and my stepmom and and I are somewhat close and never said anything about it. Im relieved they arent traumatized by it or anything but I cant get it off my mind how sexually fucked up I was and now I can't stand to have sexual relationships with girls anymore and I have no sex drive. Its fucking with me I need mental advice.
submitted by usedtobeacreep to getting_over_it [link] [comments]


2013.06.18 16:19 Highlander83 X video vouyer

Hi fellow Fapstronauts,
I have joined this community to share my story with you, to keep you up to date about my experiences along the way and to get and give support and encouragement. I never really had anyone to talk to about this - but thanks to this community i know now that i am not alone, that there are lots of other guys out there, facing the same problem!
I am not lying when i'm saying that NoFap is the hardest challenge i have ever faced in my entire life - but i want to stay strong and fight through it! Here is some info about myself - if you aren't interested, just skip it.
I am 29 years old now, turning 30 soon. I started masturbating when i was 12 and have been doing it regularly ever since. In the beginning i was experimenting, soon after that it turned into a recreational thing, "blowing off steam" - and soon it became a real habit. I have now been masturbating daily, often multiple times, since i was 14 years old.
I have been in numerous relationships, short and long term, had many sexual relations with girls (never had a problem though, no ED or anything.. ) - but was never able to give up porn and fapping.
Pornography was introduced at the age of 13-14 and has been a big part of my life since. It started with magazines, Playboys first, then the more explicit Hustlers etc.. Then the first hardcore porn videos, borrowed or taken from older friends/cousins. It didn't take long until i discovered the Internet and its possibilities. 15 years ago net porn was mainly pictures and 30 sec teaser clips from paysites, but this was enough to get me hooked on this crap. With the introduction of smartphones and data plans it became even easier - the whole world of porn, at the palm of your hand, everytime, everywhere.
My porn preferences have changed over the years. I used to watch the "usual" HC production movies, with famous HC stars .. (Jenna J., Tera P. ..). That worked fine, until i came across the first Gonzo and Amateur stuff. That totally blew my mind and soon its all i wanted to see - HC stufff totally lost its appeal to me.
For the last years, pretty much all i was watching was amateur movies/pics - its the only thing that turns me on now. The fact that these "normal" girls are somewhere out there and i got to see a glimpse of their wild side was the ultimate turn on for me. Selfshots, hidden cameras, couples filming each others, vouyer stuff, cellphone videos - the more "real" - the better.
But, as with all other things and novelties, the initial rush fades someday, and it started to become harder and harder to satisfy my need. The initial "recreational" wank, with images from my fantasy, had turned into a constant chase, a hunt for that one perfect image or that one video clip that would make me cum. Sometimes i would sit in front of the screen for 2-3 hours, ankles at my pants, wanking away, clicking from page to page, from website to website, to find that one picture or clip that i did not already know, that i had not already seen before. Pathetic. And sometimes i needed "more" - thats when i would watch the more graphic and brutal amateur stuff ... gagging, gangbangs, hitting, all that stuff .... the more degrading the better. It disgusts me now to think that i was watching this, that i used it to get me off. In RL i am in no way attracted to any of this, i would never, EVER want to have anything to do with it - i find it horrific and i feel bad for the girls who get forced or talked into doing sh*t like that. But somehow, during the years of fapping and without really realizing - i had become so desensetized, that this was the only thing that turned me on and gave me relief.
So I came, i cleaned up the mess - and thats when the guilt started to kick in. This feeling must have started maybe 4-5 years ago. This feeling of emptiness, of disappointment and regret - a feeling of anger, about the fact that i COULD NOT STOP - that i could not control myself.
I tried, numerous times, to quit - but never made it past 2-3 days,. These 2-3 days without wanking felt great, although it was hard, very hard at times - but every time it felt like a big black cloud was lifted of me. I felt like i had more energy and that I was a much happier person. When in a relationship, i didn't have to feel ashamed, of sneaking off to the bathroom with my phone, off sitting in front of my screen in another room, to look at porn and masturbate ..
But after 2 or 3 days, this urge came back, strong - almost like a voice in my head: Telling me to just look at some pictures .. nothing hardcore, just some pretty girls, just a little turn on. But of course it never stops there - once there, you go all the way - and i relapsed, time and time again.
I live a pretty decent live. I have a good job, am quite successful. I have a beautiful fiancee, a lovely home, i am active - i work out and do a lot of other sports. I look ok, not stunning or anything, but i'm content.
But there is this another side of me. I am anxious at times and insecure. My selfconfidence is low, altough i have accomplished a lot and a lot to be happy about and to be proud of. I am depressed, a lot. It only started a couple of years ago - medication helps a little, therapy did nothing for me.
I tried a lot of things, to help me with my anxiety and depression - medication, therapy, meditation (helps sometimes), working out and sports ... But i just cant shake it. And whilst i had that feeling, that my porn and masturbation habit had something to do with it - I was never quite able to point my finger at it.
Until now. I came across the mybrainonporn.com website a week ago, i watched the videos, read the research articles and the experience reports of other NoFappers - and it all started to make sense. I read more, on forums and the Reddit community - and i am now convinced, that this is what makes me feel miserable.
It is like i knew it - but i needed to hear your stories, to get the confirmation and the motivation to know that this is what i have to do!
I am super motivated that i can do it this time. I have started this journey last Wednesday, this is DAY 7 and so far i have been strong. The last days were great, i felt like a million dollars. Last night i slept bad, couldn't settle, today i am feeling pretty crappy. My mood is low, i'm quite depressed and the urge to just say Fu** It*, wip out my dck and start fapping to feel better is very high.
But i know that i cant. I want to get through this, i've had enough. I do not want to be a slave of porn and masturbation any longer - i want to be in control of myself, my life and i want to use all that time and positive energy for something productive and creative, instead of squirting it into a tissue and throwing it in the bin.
Thank you for your support guys, i will keep you posted. If you have any questions - let me know! STAY STRONG!!!
J.
submitted by Highlander83 to NoFap [link] [comments]