My grandmother nude

They say that hindsight is 20/20. In other words, things always seem more obvious and predictable after they have already happened. In psychology, this is what is referred to as the hindsight bias, and it can have a major impact on not only your beliefs but also on your behaviors.   Hindsight is 20 20 Meaning Definition: Choices that seemed difficult in the past now seem clear after the person knows what happened as a result of those choices. Origin of Hindsight is 20 20 This expression comes from the way people describe good vision. JFC Global is a company that shows integrity and pride in what they do and that shows through the people they have working for them. I am more than satisfied[…] – Assistant Store Manager (candidate) 08/05/2020 ‘JFC, this is way beyond the pale’: The Lincoln Project’s Steve Schmidt takes absolutely disgusting swipe at Marco Rubio Posted at 10:33 am on August 18, 2020 by Sarah D. The phrase hindsight is 20/20 means looking back at a situation or an event and having a clearer understanding of it and how things could have been done better. Example: Tim went to the grocery store and spent nearly an hour shopping before realizing he forgot his wallet. He became frustrated because he had no way to pay for his food. However, the asterisk beside their form is that they have not really been tested against the better sides in the division yet. They scored 4-13, 2-16 twice and 5-15 in their four group games against Maghera, Redhills, Kill Shamrocks and Drumalee, with Eoin McCaffrey registering 6-14 (4f) to date, but of that quartet, only Kill have made the ... “The year 2020 is turning out to be a year in which our hindsight really is 20/20, in the sense that we have had the occasion to become more clear-sighted about our deep interconnectedness and... “2020 is an extremely challenging year for JFC as for most other businesses, but out of this transformation, we aim to emerge in 2021 as an even stronger business and organization. Regardless, our mission has not changed: To serve great tasting food, bringing the joy of eating to everyone. Very proactive communication and friendliness. Working to create a successful outcome for both employee and employer[…] I also really like that we will be meeting to make a plan for me to succeed at my new employer long-term[…] in all honesty – best recruitment experience I've ever had. – Developer (candidate) 08/11/2020 Here’s a look back at the better ’20s in San Antonio. Because if hindsight really is 20-20, it sure beats the 2020 we’re looking at now. 1720: Mission San José is founded. Just two years after San...

2020.09.28 12:44 MomentoMoriBenn Well JFC, Hindsight really is 2020.

So, marked as tw cuz there's the mention of sexual assault/predatory behavior, even if it's vague and brief, I'd rather be safe than accidentally trigger someone.
Hi all, it has been a fat minute.
And not an entirely good one to be honest.
So, last I posted here I was asking for advice on how to help a friend through leaving an emotionally abusive household and dealing with their other struggles. That situation went bad, and pretty fast too. Ended up they were in my apartment for 2 weeks. They lied, a lot, about so many things that it had me and my roommates, and the other friend staying with us, questioning everything they said, and even if the abuse they claimed was real. We've all cut contact, other than riding them about paying back several people for things they did for them (that were designated loans at the time.)
The other friend and I have been doing alright. At least as all right as possible under current circumstances. I'm currently practically living in my room again, and doing everything I can to maintain self control and calm until I move with my friend, hopefully around the middle of October.
See, around mid August my friend and I started really noticing some extremely toxic behavior from my sister, who is also my roommate's spouse. About that time was also as I was starting to realize how bad my mental health had gotten due to a whole host of reasons. Most of them pertaining to sister and roommate. Most of the behaviors from my sister are the repeat of a pattern, lying(specifically to my grandparents, but also the house at large,) impulse spending beyond her means (her only job being one that my grandmother gave her to try and help the apartment pay bills w/roommate's reduced hours thanks to Covid,) and constant emotional blackmail, just to name a few. At that point we had already established that the 4 of us would be splitting up when we eventually moved out. Then a situation with a mutual friend of my roommate and I's happened.
If you know my older posts, it used to be that I called roommate my besty. They were my best friend, and someone I trusted with my life. Initially I was very worried, once I recognized the behavior from my sister, as a lot of it was focused on my roommate. Then our mutual friend, I'm gonna call her K(Not her actual initial, as she goes by her initial sometimes and I wanna give her complete anonymity here,) had my sister tell my roommate that she no longer wanted to be in contact with them. This came as a surprise to all of us, as K and roommate had been working on getting back to a place of friendship and closeness after losing it for a while. I knew that my roommate had crossed some boundaries and as far as I knew, repented and had been working to make amends. I assumed that my sister had a hand in things, as she has a very jealous and insecure streak. I would not put it past her to twist things on one or both sides to cause problems. K reached out to me a couple days later and told me that while she assumed I was very unhappy with her and didn't want to hear from her, that she hoped we could stay friends. She and I for a while shared a connection through our chosen gods (both of us being polytheistic pagans of similar flavors,) and she wanted to honor that, and the few times we had met in person, she really liked me. I was pleased, and honored that she wanted to continue talking.
I asked her what happened, and why she cut contact with my roommate the way that she did. The way she did it, through my sister, was out of character for her, and I had my suspicions.
I could not have been more wrong. Beginning TW
My roommate, the person I trusted with everything, who I have told things I likely will never tell another soul turns out to be a sexual predator.
They initially just hammered onto the fact that her religion(at the time) wouldn't frown on nude modeling. Specifically due to the fact that roommate liked to use nude models for drawing reference. Then, when she left that church, and became a pagan, they started on pressuring her other ways. Specifically a few different kinds of energy readings, card readings, and the like, they claimed to be able to do better with the other person being at least partially nude. They continued to pressure her into these sorts of things, and when she finally relented and allowed one of these readings, they assaulted her. I don't know the full details, I did not ask, and I do not plan to. What I do know is that they touched her body, and it made her very uncomfortable and distressed. She said nothing at the time, but brought up that she was uncomfortable the next day. My roommate made all the right mouth noises, and things went on as normal. Except that rather than backing off, my roommate continued to hound her about other practices that, again, "required" nudity. There was an incident where K was topless because they suggested it would make a certain spiritual thing she was attempting easier, and roommate's phone flash went off. They claimed it was a glitch, not a picture, and everyone moved on. This is what lead to the initial distancing in their friendship.
I was not present for any of this, but there had been another person that my roommate had admitted to me they had pressured into nudes. They claimed to be remorseful of it, and that they recognized their wrongdoings there. This incident also happened while in high school, so at the time I wrote it off as teenage dumbassery. However, hindsight is 2020. There were also several instances where they did similar things to me, pressuring me to send pictures that I was not comfortable sending(or even taking,) and into several of the same spiritual practices. With a clear mind, looking back, i recognize and realize how much bs most of their claims about those practices were.
End TW
In addition to the above, with my fresh eyes, I have realized a lot of bs I've put up with. Talking with my friend/soon to be only roommate, a former roommate, and a couple of other people, I have realized how much I have let them take advantage of me. I did most of the chores around the house, including feeding the animals, despite these animals needed to be fed at specific times that were quite literally, in the middle of my night (I work overnights) on days I worked, doing 90% of the dishes, most major cleaning projects, and most household upkeep. I was their emotional release, they could always come to me about things, and their support. For a long time, I was even their surrogate partner (neither of us were romantically interested in the other, but I fulfilled all the bits of a romantic partner, except for the physical affection parts.)
Several times in the past I have brought up my issues with the division of labor, and even the lack of equal emotional support. I have the habit though, of not following though, and until I met my friend/roommate and made several breakthroughs in my trauma/mental health, hiding how badly I was doing from everyone, including those who would be most helpful. Each time we seemed to get to a place of mutual understanding, and they promised to be better, but within a few days to a few weeks, we were right back to where we were to start. In recent months they have taken to blaming a situation that happened in the beginning of this year for their struggles (I posted about it at the time if you want to go looking.) But now it seems that, in all honesty, they don't actually see an issue with their behavior as it is.
I think what hurts most is it does appear that they do care about me, deeply and truly, but somehow choose to ignore how much harm they have done to me. Even going so far as to claim they "never" do things I have brought up as issues to them.
I am mostly posting this to get it somewhere not my head, or my private journals, and to see if any of you amazing people have any words of wisdom or kindness, as I do my best to remain cordial until it is safe to go nuclear.
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2020.09.27 01:19 Lissapally My grandmother nude

J is a verbally, emotionally, and sexually abusive narcissist who lives parasitically off of his elderly grandmother while exploiting and manipulating women on World of Warcraft and League of Legends. I know his excessive attention at the moment probably feels amazing. At the beginning, he told me how amazing and beautiful I was and managed to find ways to monopolize my time, and we'd watch movies together on Friday nights, and he pursued me constantly for phone and Skype sex. He asked me if I'd ever felt this way before. I have no clue what that means.
He will tell you that his previous partner(s) were abusive; this is not true. He was the abuser. He will tell you that his previous partner(s) regret leaving him; this is also not true. He and his friends will tell you that I'm crazy. I fully admit that I am. I have PTSD that is no longer in remission in large part due to his actions. Gaslighting and constant verbal/emotional abuse destroyed my mental well being. And yes, I did mock him for raging constantly in League. Don't worry, I have no interest in J. I have no interest in being demeaned again in that way, and I have no interest in pathological liars or malignant narcissists (J is both).
During the time that I knew him, he had no interest in seeking gainful employment despite the best efforts of his friends and family, who simply continue to enable his parasitic lifestyle and do not set limits on his behavior. He will claim that his depression keeps him from working; to the best of my knowledge, he has not sought psychiatric care for it on a regular basis, and would have no claim for disability if that were his aim. Depression is secondary to his likely primary mental health concerns: narcissistic and borderline personality disorders. He truly does not work (if he still is not working), to paraphrase his own words, because the jobs available to him are beneath him. He has a pattern of whinging about wanting/needing work, but makes little effort other than these protestations in procuring employment.
He uses his father’s death by suicide in 2017 as a way to achieve pity and attention, as well as to escape responsibility for his actions. I know independent parties who can corroborate this. He will gaslight, blame shift, play the victim (accuse you of abuse/bullying), rage, and throw tantrums when confronted on bullying and abusive behavior. You will walk on eggshells when this starts happening. He has admitted to keeping a woman’s nudes saved to his computer to use as leverage against her at a later date if needed. I have 60+ screenshots of instances of verbal and emotional abuse by him from 2018-2019 that I am more than willing to share to disbelieving parties.
submitted by Lissapally to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]


2020.09.26 04:22 Lissapally Nude grandmother my

Dear new supply,
He is a verbally, emotionally, and sexually abusive narcissist who lives parasitically off of his elderly grandmother while exploiting and manipulating women on World of Warcraft and League of Legends. I know his excessive attention at the moment probably feels amazing. At the beginning, he told me how amazing and beautiful I was and managed to find ways to monopolize my time, and we'd watch movies together on Friday nights, and he pursued me constantly for phone and Skype sex. He asked me if I'd ever felt this way before. I have no clue what that means.
He will tell you that his previous partner(s) were abusive; this is not true. He was the abuser. He will tell you that his previous partner(s) regret leaving him; this is also not true. He and his friends will tell you that I'm crazy. I fully admit that I am. I have PTSD that is no longer in remission in large part due to his actions. Gaslighting and constant verbal/emotional abuse destroyed my mental well being. And yes, I did mock him for raging constantly in League. Don't worry, I have no interest in him. You can have him. I have no interest in being demeaned again in that way, and I have no interest in pathological liars or malignant narcissists (he is both).
During the time that I knew him, he had no interest in seeking gainful employment despite the best efforts of his friends and family, who simply continue to enable his parasitic lifestyle and do not set limits on his behavior. He will claim that his depression keeps him from working; to the best of my knowledge, he has not sought psychiatric care for it on a regular basis, and would have no claim for disability if that were his aim. Depression is secondary to his likely primary mental health concerns: narcissistic and borderline personality disorders. He truly does not work (if he still is not working), to paraphrase his own words, because the jobs available to him are beneath him. He has a pattern of whinging about wanting/needing work, but makes little effort other than these protestations in procuring employment.
He uses his father’s death by suicide as a way to achieve pity and attention, as well as to escape responsibility for his actions. I know independent parties who can corroborate this. He will gaslight, blame shift, play the victim (accuse you of abuse/bullying), rage, and throw tantrums when confronted on bullying and abusive behavior. You will walk on eggshells when this starts happening. He has admitted to keeping a woman’s nudes saved to his computer to use as leverage against her at a later date if needed. I have 60+ screenshots of instances of verbal and emotional abuse by him from 2018-2019 that I am more than willing to share to disbelieving parties.
Best regards,
A survivor.
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2020.09.24 08:44 ihatefilialpiety Women support women until you want to fuck her boyfriend

You’ve seen it from both sides, you’ve seen the torn down room and his moodiness. Over a text? Over a guy in a different continent. Intense insecurity and jealousy. We were miserable together.
As a woman I’ll let you know that he has shown my nude to his coworker who is a white supremacist low life. He idolizes his bigoted co workers who talk about fucking me in front of him. Yet he doesn’t think that’s disrespectful because he doesn’t respect women. I mean if he did he wouldn’t have shown my nude to his co worker right? He wouldn’t have grabbed my face in an argument to intimidate me. He wouldn’t have gone to the strip club and paid for a service. He claimed it was for his friends but I really couldn’t give a fuck. The fact that I didn’t feel jealousy over that incident must have made me realize how much I didn’t love this misogynistic man.
I’m glad you told a lie, that you didn’t know was true but was true. I did text my “ex” when we were broken up. My “ex” was not perfect but I wasn’t afraid that he was going to hit me. No L never hit me, but the last time I saw him he smashed a mug in anger.
Good luck with him. You knew my side of things but chose his side to get a piece of that toxic dick. I’m glad you broke us up. He was begging to continue things 2 weeks before he broke up with me. Have fun. I don’t hope for the best for you because you’re a piece of work. “Feminist” yet you always chose the man’s side. I can’t blame you when you look like that, I too would want to have men’s validation. Also I guess the fact that your father left you so you have to fill the hole with really any man. The more unavailable the better.
You’re not dead to me, I wish you a life full of mediocrity, pills and problematic men.
Also your grandmother was Portuguese, please for the love of god stop saying you’re ethnic because she was raised in India. You’re a white girl. Acknowledge your privilege and get a move on. Stop the victim complex. Sorry you grew up with white trash parents. Actually not that sorry.
G
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2020.09.12 20:21 brandonbabe My grandmother nude

I’ve been in this relationship with my SO (24M) for 7 years, 7 very long and trying years. And majority of which have honestly been terrible. It started out rocky to begin with, with him telling me that no matter what he did, I should fight for him and for us. And I have to my fullest extent but I feel like I’ve lost myself in trying to make this work. All we do now is fight and scream at each other and most of the time it feels like we are only together because of our 4 year old son. We fight about anything and everything. There’s a lot of trauma in the relationship and majority of the time, it’s very volatile. I don’t look at him the same way or trust that he won’t emotionally destroy me with little to no remorse. It’s always “I have to live with what I did every day.” But so do I.
In the second year of our relationship, he had freshly turned 18 and where we are from that’s the legal drinking age. So, he was going out every weekend with his buddies to the bars and drinking while I was stuck at home as I was not of age yet. At the time I was very insecure and felt like I was no longer a priority to him because he was constantly drinking and out and spending money that we didn’t have (we lived together in an apartment). (This started our debt problem.) We would fight about my feelings and I would always get the cold shoulder. We eventually moved back into my parents house after I turned 18 and the fighting continued (fighting about how he didn’t want to come out with me now that I was legal, “he was tired of going out”, until one night he confessed he had cheated on me with a prostitute one night when he had said he was with his friend. I was desperate to stay together, I didn’t even process the fact that he had cheated. We were still talking, he was very hot and cold. Telling me no and then texting long paragraphs the next about how we would make it through this. One night, I was talking to him while he was out with two other girls both of which I just thought were friends. Both those girls told me it was going to be okay and what not. Come to find out that he had a threesome with them and were laughing about it on Facebook messenger (yes, I hacked into his stuff) and making fun of me. We ended up getting back together after he realized that I was getting attention from other men in a bar one night.
Fast forward a little bit, we were pregnant and he was laid off from work while I was working three jobs and he started drinking again. Things were rocky. As per usual. And he was talking to a girl on Snapchat, claiming they were friends. My gut told me it was more but I tried to believe in him. Things slowly got worse between us until one weekend he went to my family’s camper for a music festival and to celebrate his friends birthday and she was there, I didn’t know at the time. I had stayed back for work and ended up incredibly sick and needed to be taken to the emergency room (had severe preeclampsia). My grandmother took me but I tried calling him to inform him and when he answered he told me he was busy doing other things. Come to find out those other things were screwing that girl in my family camper while his friends were there and going to her house to spend the weekend. I found out through his social media again. It was traumatizing. (NOTE: he was never excited about the pregnancy). I ended up spending almost two months in the hospital in a different city and he would come every weekend to stay with me and screw with my head about how we were going to get back together and he loved me. Meanwhile he was still screwing that girl (who also knew about me) and he ended up screwing six other women (he claims they don’t count as cheating since we weren’t together even though I wasn’t allowed to see or talk to anyone else). We ended up back together though.
He’s also sent nudes to other women and I’ve caught him talking to women in ways he shouldn’t be. Not to mention, he’s also tried to sleep with some of my friends so I no longer have any in fear of him or them doing something behind my back. And I’ve just... pushed it to the side I guess. Every single year since 2015, he’s done something or cheated. And the fighting. Non stop. I can’t think of a happy memory with him that hasn’t been ruined by some comment or some sort or argument.
In 2018, he wanted to move to a different province away from everybody we knew to pursue a better life and to get to know his birth mom who had given him up when he was two but kept his brother. It was a fight because I had a bad feeling but did it anyways because I wanted to see him happy. Long story short, it was absolutely terrible. His little brother ended up passing away and he had barely gotten the chance to get to know him as there were issues and his mom and her wife fed him lies about his brother. I supported him and was there for him and his family during the time. He and I stuck together. Come to find out just before Christmas that he had cheated on me twice with two different prostitutes after his brother passed (in July). And then he went into a deep depression and begged me to forgive him. His depression was so deep that I barely even processed that he cheated again so that I could be by his side. I helped him through it. While pushing my hurt to the side. It killed me. It still does. I know he doesn’t respect me with everything he’s done.
We ended up moving back and it’s been nonstop fighting. I’m incredibly depressed. And I know I am. I was on medications but I can’t afford them due to our money issues. Over the years, I’ve said yes to whatever he has wanted. And it’s impacted us financially. I’ve made my own bad decisions. While we were away, all he would talk about his how he wanted a truck. It went on for months. And eventually, I caved. So now we have an expensive truck. Which he now wants to get rid of because it’s too expensive. I am refusing which causes disagreements. Financially we would never get approved to buy another vehicle due to the outstanding amount owing and what not but he won’t listen to me.
I’ve always had problems with depression and anxiety, to where it’s very hard for me to function daily. I’ve gained 100 pounds because I turn to food and then I feel bad about it, it’s a vicious cycle. And he used to make me feel horrible about it with fat jokes. The jokes have stopped but there are still comments. It’s hard for me to get up the will to live. So, the house isn’t always clean which is a huge fight between us. I do majority of the cleaning and right now I haven’t been because it’s so dark in my head and not only that I know that if I start doing more of it again he will stop doing his share. And the one thing I can say he is right on is that I don’t do enough with our child. I’m so depressed that I am becoming a horrible mother like he says. And I don’t walk our dog. Maybe once a week and I feel horrible. But I just can’t get the energy or the drive to do so. I used to be a person who had so much respect for myself and so much ambition and dreams. I graduated high school a year early with two diplomas and stellar grades. I knew what I wanted. But now I have no clue. I want to go to school. I want to buy a house.
I get little to no affection and majority of the time, he will ask me for a blow job and I’ll do it in hopes of getting in return. But he will roll over and go to sleep. He barely talks to me about my day or anything. Just says he doesn’t like me because I’m negative and he just wants to be happy. Or that we don’t have the same values or the same goals. The thing is though I do I just am so beaten down I don’t know how to do it. And I can’t voice anything to him because it’s always a fight. And he always has to question everything I do. And the kicker is, he does the same things I do that he complains about but I can’t voice how hypocritical it all is as it turns into a blow out.
And then the issue with my family. He hates my mom for things she has done to me and my siblings and judges her on her parenting skills. Meanwhile, her and I have been repairing our relationship for almost 2 years now and he and I fight about it constantly. Whenever she’s around he’s just moody and miserable. And then behind closed doors he’s even worse. He shuts me out or fights with me. And it’s to the point where I feel like I can’t talk to her or see her in fear of how he will behave or talk to me. And then he disagrees with my relationship with my grandma. And I can understand why. I was sexually abused for 5 years by her husband when I was younger and she stayed with him after he went to jail. I have moved on from it and tried to heal from it. But she is one of the most important people in my life so I moved past the fact that she is still with him. I forgave him. But my SO is adamant that I’m fucked up for wanting her in my life when she is with my abuser and is rude to me about it. It’s been a fight for years. I appreciate the concern but I just wish he would be more supportive over the things that make me happy. My grandma and I have always been close over the years and having her in my life is like a ray of sunshine despite everything else. It doesn’t bother me that she is with him. And I don’t bring my child or myself around him so I don’t understand why it’s always a problem for him. I feel like he doesn’t want me to have anyone and is isolating me. But it’s always I care about you.
We have fought every day for months now. I dread when he comes home from work (I’m laid off and can’t find work due to corona, although I do have an income and pay half of every bill and buy majority if not all of the groceries and whenever we eat out I pay for it). Anything I’ve ever done is never good enough and because I’m not working right now of course the house cleaning and laundry and cooking is my job. But I’m supposed to pay half of every bill and more.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m scared that if I stay, it’ll continue this way and I’ll end up even worse off or worse. He makes me out to be the villain and like everything is my fault and yes I have my own issues (in past years I’ve thrown stuff at him etc and I’m not proud of it). I don’t know what to do. I’m sick of feeling this way and I don’t know if he’ll ever be the man I know he can be. I’m not even sure why I hold onto this so tightly. I just need help. Am I crazy.
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2020.09.12 15:52 fattyfatfit Grandmother my nude

There are stories I've heard from my uni friends and my high school friends who went on to attend different universities. The point of this post is not to victim blame at all. Nor are these instances equally egregious.
Edit 3: Since some are surprised that some of these instances happened at prestigious universities, I've posted a link to a video where when asked what they would do if everything became legal at LUMS for 12 hours, one man replies "aik,do hostel le jaonga," and another says "harassment karoon ga." The interviwer laughing and agreeing with them is how this culture of misogyny and dehumanization of women is propagated.
https://twitter.com/Shumyl/status/940541293494767616

None of the women reported these cases when they happened. A lot of these are cases that can't be reported to begin with. They were either too young, confused, scared of their families finding out and scared of being victim blamed and shamed. The men involved have mothers, sisters and grandmothers. All of them have been educated at the best institutes this country has to offer. All of them are practising Muslims (ritually at least). I keep hearing about how education and religion will fix the problem, but that doesn't seem to be enough.
Edit: I'll add another case of why women don't talk about this stuff. I have a friend who was getting harassed by a guy she dated for less than a month. She realized what he was like and dumped him. She came from a wealthy, powerful and conservative family. The younger lot wasn't as conservative as the rest of the family.
It was a joint family and the phuppo liked to torment her mother. The phuppo, chachas and dada also made a big deal about her going out of town to study. She had to convince her parents who then had to convince the rest of the family. If she had told her family about this guy, it would have first come out that they dated (even though nothing physical happened). The phuppo would have ramped up taunting her mother. The family may even have tried to stop her from going to uni and since they paid the fees, she may have had to withdraw.
The harassment stopped after a few months. Somehow the guy always managed to be wherever she was. Her grades suffered for it.
Edit 2: I'll add another point about the type of people involved here. There is a view that creeps who can't get girlfriends typically resort to such acts. Or that men from smaller towns who aren't socialized with dealing with women act weirdly - there may be some truth to this one. The stalking stories are about guys from smaller towns.
A lot of the guys in the gc were in relationships. Most of the woke bros and the guys in the societies were handsome and charismatic (think MUNers or debate society types). Everyone involved here is well educated. While there are a lot of cases of men from. small cities acting creepily around women (leering, overtly lewd comments etc), these guys typically didn't become society heads or the aforementioned 'woke bros.'
Generally though, the men involved hailed from big cities, were usually middle class to rich, and came from 'good' respectable families.
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2020.09.11 19:51 throwawaymyheart6969 My grandmother nude

So, I'm far from Shakespeare but I'll give the best breakdown of my problems right now.
I met my wife in high school, she was fun and pretty social unlike myself, I was in my room with a computer 90% of the time. Due to childhood trauma, I had social issues. I could talk to people and hold conversations but I'd get anxious and not know what to say.
Despite this, I was somewhat 'Popular'. I belonged to no certain group, but I slept around quite a bit. I had earned somewhat of a reputation for it in school. My future wife however, at the time, has been dating the same guy out of town for 2 years before we were together. We were friends and would talk all the time, but then she got pregnant. The boyfriend left, and I stayed.
We decided to date, which I was down for but again, I had a reputation that was there for a reason. I was bad at the loyalty thing, I slept around a couple times and got caught. Her baby was born and I was figuring out the whole "Life after high school" thing, what was I going to do?
I decided on the Marines, so I straightened myself out. I had a goal, I had a vision of a future. I was dead set. It was at this point, while we were still together that I also realized I didn't want to mess up my relationship too, so I stopped everything. I aimed to become a model boyfriend.
I was the stand in dad for which I now consider my oldest daughter, and things were going great. Finally, the time came for me to ship off to Boot Camp. My worst fear was definitely receiving a Dear John letter, but I held hope that she'd wait. Mid-way through I receive a letter from my girlfriend, updates of daughter and everything but one thing was different. The return address.
The return address was from a different state, from a town I know specifically to belong to her ex-boyfriend. Later in a different letter she let me know his family wanted to see the baby, who was coming up on 2 now. Okay, it's not my call and I wouldn't try to keep her away anyways. I think they have every right to see her.
I get out of bootcamp, she's there with my mother and grandmother congratulating me on finishing bootcamp and how proud they are. Life goes on, until about almost a year later.
I get a call from one of my few friends back home, as I was in a technical school doing training:
Him: "Hey..You know (Girlfriend) is walking around the fair holding hands with some guy?"
I didn't know that, so I called her. She tells me that she's with [daughter] and her Ex because he was in town and wanted to see [daughter], tells me my friend must be lying or seen it wrong.
Okay, sketchy but not deal breaking. Continuing on.
Some time passes, I bring her out to California and propose and we get married back home. I'm about to be transferred to a new base, so we hold off on moving her and [daughter] out here with me until I move.
The time comes, I get the house and start getting things ready. She tells me she's taking [daughter] to see ex and his family. Not a big deal, by this time it's established that I wasn't going to keep her actual father out of the loop and I was actually supportive of it. At least until this, this is where things get tough.
She goes, and apparently now they are attending her ex's sister's wedding. Okayyyy... Strange, but she's been pretty open about everything so w/. She texts me the entire time, because I'm a little sketched out but she assures me it's fine. Her phone dies, I get a text back around 1 am.
She goes into explaining that she kissed him at the reception, she was just caught up in the moment and nothing else happened. She left the next morning, and then boarded a flight to come live with me. I grilled her about it, she seems really broken up about doing it and honestly seems ashamed. So I let it go, mistakes happen. I did do the same thing to her in high school, granted we were dating and I assumed this wasn't going to last like this. Not married and planning a life together.
Time passes, everything is going good. We spend the next 3 years living and enjoying life, by this time we had another girl. She's a tiny clone of me and we're enjoying the good life.
My wifes ex hadc ut most contact with her and doesn't really try to see his daughter at some point during this period, seemly given up on trying to be a dad. Then he messages her saying he's joining the Marines now. Yep, I should mention I've had a feeling he's been trying to get back with her since the wedding incident and he's trying hard to be more like me. So he joins, and afew months later leaves bootcamp.
Right on cue, something happens and he can't find a place to stay on his "boot leave", which is a 10 day period you can go visit family or do what you need to before going to training. My wife offers to let him stay at MY house, now this had red flags everywhere for me and she guilts me into it eventually. He can stay a day or 2 while he finds somewhere else, he will be gone if I'm gone, ect.
Things continue as normal, he leaves eventually and I haven't caught anything suspicious so life goes on. A year rolls by, I'm getting ready to leave the military after 5 years to pursue a career where I can be home more for my family. I join a program that will help prep me for leaving the military and give me an interview with a BIG company to work at after I leave. First, I have some perquisites I have to hit to enter this EXTREMELY competitive program and I'm on a deadline along with having to complete my normal Military duties. As such, I'm a little stressed. I focus on my studies and work for a couple weeks and I'm put on Rifle range because I need to complete it before my request for this course is approved. Cue the final act.
It's 3am, I just woke up and I get ready. Wife isn't in bed with me, weird. I went to bed early the previous night, for obvious reason (3am wake up call), and she stayed up alittle later. I walked downstairs see her passed out on the couch, phone a foot from her hand on the couch. It's blinking with a message, I'm not usually snoopy but this time it just felt off. I checked it, it was a snapchat message from some girl with a name I didn't recognize. I open it, just curious.
It was not a girl, it was in fact another man with many pictures between them to show me just what was happening. It's 330 by this point, I'm confused, I'm hurt and I'm fuming. I wake her up and she's out of it. I tell her what I found and she just looks at me like I'm stupid. I try to call my superior and say I don't feel great about going to shoot rifles right now and tell him the story. I gotta go anyways, because this is my only chance and it could affect my approval for my course. Tell her we'll talk after work.
By the end of the day, word has spread through my command and they tell me they got me a room in the barracks to cool off for the night. I didn't want to, but I had no choice. I went to my house to tell my wife what was happening, tell her we'll talk tomorrow and I had to stay at the barracks.
I've cooled off significantly, and go home. We talk and she told me it was just a mistake, wouldn't happen again and she deleted her social media off her phone. I wanted to see her snapchat to read it, just to confirm what she's saying. She refuses, I ask why. She doesn't want me to keep getting mad reading the old stuff. Fair, but no good. I log into it on my phone. She never stopped messaging this guy until just before I got home. Not even after I caught her the first time.

"I thought you were going to leave me anyways"
I was pissed, but to be fair I probably had said I was at 3am the previous day when I got mad. (Careful of the things you say in anger). I decided to breathe and let it go.

She's apologized and cried and said she's sorry for almost ruined it, a great act. She said she met this guy at the store on base, so I go with it.

a few weeks pass, she's been going about business as normal. She's been hanging out with some friends lately and finally I get a call.
A man calls me, his girlfriend wanted him to me to tell me my wife had slept with a guy at a party a week ago. I tell him I need proof, and I got it all. The one who told me is her best friends boyfriend, and her friends were tired of her fucking me over. I was always home with the kids when she went out. after grilling her, she admitted it happened and out comes sooo much more than I expected.
More of her friends started calling and telling me everything.
Her dating profiles, her secret snapchat account and emails. I got into everything, she had been messaging no less than 50 guys on snapchat alone. There were endless nudes between them all, she'd apparently met some. She had plans to go meet a guy to fuck, but apparently she starting feeling bad at this point because of her friends telling her to stop and stopped it all for a bit.
I confronted her with everything, she had been lying to her friends about things I said she could do, ect. She told me when her ex stayed at my house, she cheated. She cheated when I was in training. and she did so much more before she came to live with me. Basically she had been lying the entirety of our relationship.
Her reason? I had slept with alot of girls during highschool, she didn't get to do that. I cheated on her in high school (Worth mentioning that was a couple times, and it was before considering marriage). And she had been with her ex for 2 years and that she'd always have some feelings for him.
Crushed, my self-esteem is completely wrecked just due to other issues and I definitely don't want to leave her despite this and I don't want my kids to go through this.
It's been about a year since all this, things have settled back into a normal since then. I'm 100% now that she isn't cheating now, for the first time in 7 years. When I said I Wanted to stay with her I meant it, until now.
Not sure what it is, between her near constant complains about nothing being good enough (Our new house, the kids, ect.) and her never able to hold a job and her terrible parenting, I lost my desire. I'm not happy, I can't do anything without feeling like it'll make her go cheat. She has issues, bi-polar depression and anger issues. I love my kids, I know I can get custody of one but the other isn't legally or biologically mine and I don't want to see her suffer because I left.
My wife is completely dependent on me and I'm honestly not sure what she'll do. I'm at a loss, Do I stay?
[I recently started therapy to help me with all my other issues, so it started prompting me to look at what I'm feeling. Reason for the post]
*Sorry for the book*

[Edit] It's worth mentioning I guess that I'm directly responsible for her getting a drivers license, her diploma, and her CNA certification. She has no drive, I have to push her to do better.
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2020.09.09 09:06 bungusstreet Nude my grandmother

I have guilt for not speaking to my mother. It’s been 3 years now. She keeps my brother from speaking to me as well since he still lives with her.
Some background: I don’t know where to start tbh. She used to be nude around my brother and I often. Sometimes would urinate in front of me. Sometimes would catch me masturbating and get angry with me. Shaved my brothers pubes when he was 15. The list goes on.
I guess I’m just wondering like should I let it all go? My brother still lives with her and he’s older than me-granted he is autistic but fully functional. I just have guilt and feel like a piece of shit daughter a lot. My grandmother gets really upset that I don’t communicate with my mom.
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2020.09.06 05:17 MichigaCur My grandmother nude

TIFU.. so I was telling my pre-teen daughter a story about me and my grandmother. I knew that I had a picture of this event in my "memories tote". A small tote which has been under my bed for the past 20 some odd years. Most of this totes contents is old photos, trinkets, some antique family photos. I've moved at least four times with it while living with my wife. Anyways I decided to pull this tote out to search for the picture I did not find. but instead I learned that inside this tote, was a box which contained love letters to / from my ex wife, and a few risky photos of a couple past relationships.. And of course my daughter opened that box, front and center is a selfie of my 20 year old self fully nude nothing to the imagination and my nude ex-gf wrapped around me . Yeah I'm pretty sure I scarred my child for life. Said small box contents were unceremoniously fed to the shredder shortly after its discovery.
Tl/Dr: for 20 years I've been carrying around a box of love letters and nude photos of past relationships, my pre-teen daughter opened it to find a nude picture of me and an ex.
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2020.09.04 17:07 Katie581 Not happy with my sister rn

She's 14 and really active on snapchat right. Uses her real name and all, my cousin follows her or whatever (I don't use snapchat soo maybe not the right word). And well, basically what happened is my sister posted about how she's sent nudes, is abused and how she saw our mother get arrested over a decade ago. I assume my cousin showed her mom, who sent screenshots to my mom. That's how I heard about it.
First off, she lives with her dad, and wants to go back with our mom. Almost a year ago tho, she was with our mom and desperately wanted to go to her dad. So she lied, saying how she was abused (I swear, she wasn't). She was fucking horrible to our mother. Mom's made her mistakes in her youth that affected us, but I feel like she's more than made up for them. She never deserved that, and I was pissed at my sister for that. But in the end, she went with her father and now she's just pulling the same abuse bullshit and treats her dad badly half the time.
The nude thing I don't care much tbh, I have no right to be mad about that but like, to post about it when you know family follows you? I'd never and I personally think she's stupid for that.
What really pisses me off is the arrested bullshit. Yes, my mom was arrested. The thing is, when it happened I was 6. She was 4 and a half, and it's very unlikely she remembers shit from that. I was the one who heard the knock on the door and got our mom from the shower that day, I was the one who saw the officer at the door. It was fairly civil, I just remember the officer talking to my mother and the next thing I know my siblings and I (at the time I had a brother and sister only) are in the back of our grandmother's car, off to meet their dad at some mall. If that's all I remember, then I highly doubt she remembers enough for it to be considered "watching out mom get arrested". At most I'd say she's well aware now that our mother went to jail and she remembers being with her father for two years, that's it. Maybe I'm being insensitive to my sister's experience, but I just feel like she has no right to claim that. She was fucking 4 ffs.
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2020.08.30 12:16 Minute_Pianist9644 My grandmother nude

Me (20) and my ex girlfriend(21) met about a year ago on tinder, during our first few months we had a great time together and enjoyed each other's company quite well despite growing up in 2 different cultures.
However, as time passed by we both started to realized more and more about each other and our differences started to come in between us. To start, I was plagued with trust issues since my previous relationship ended in my significant other cheating on me (but thats besides the point).
One day, we were close and she was on her phone on instagram and I asked if i could see her feed/profile along with her DMs, she said she didnt mind and we checked it. I was a bit uncomfortable to find a lot of other guys complementing her, but I was even more uncomfortable with her because she would like their messages (instead of stating that she had a boyfriend). I brought it up to her and told her that I was uncomfortable and she played it off, which made me anxious. I was also uncomfortable about her posting half nude photos of herself for strangers to see; I no longer felt special if she shared her body with everyone to see.
Months later, she told me that she was moving out of her house (whom she shared with her mother) and into her own condo (which made me happy for her cause she was happy). Nonetheless, after the whole move I was surprised about how one of her guy friends helped her move despite me asking if she would like me to help her (which made me feel like a second option to her).
My anxiety would only increase in the following months as she would not let me see her phone (I never minded if she saw my phone as she knew my password). To get back at her (which was childish of me), I started speaking to my old close friend of mine who was a girl. This made her upset which was something I regret doing.
-----------------------------------------------
Flash forward a few months ->We would be on and off dating for many times, and during those times she would hang out with a guy (who liked her, and she knew he liked her) despite her knowing that we would probably get back together. (sidenote: im aware that i have no saying in who she sees when we are not dating, I was just sad as I felt like a second option to her when she would say things like that to me).
My previous relationship allowed me to learn more about myself and how I want to treat my future significant others (which I applied to our relationship). I would always try to put her needs ahead of my own. About 8 times out of 10 I would be the one to text her first throughout the day (sidenote: she worked throughout the day but still had access to her phone and I just wanted her to message me to tell me she was thinking about me/cared). When it came to being intimate, 9 times out of 10 I would initiate anything physical which really lowered my self esteem.... I understood her situation (constantly working, rocky relationship with her parents, and she was depressed as was I [i have my own issues as all human beings do]), so I would try to take care of her by coming over and cooking for her every once in a while and i would try to clean her bathroom/dishes when I was over so she could feel less stressed out.
I tried to show her that i cared. However, despite me bringing up my issues with her regarding physical/emotional intimacy, little to no change followed.
--------------------------------------------------
There were a few things that I regret saying, as I am not smart when it comes to saying things at the top of my head. When she told me that her girl roomate slept with many guys I said "wow that must mean a lot of men fantasize about her"... and she took it in a very bad way as she assumed I meant I found her attractive(which I dont and Ive told her that I dont many times before). As stated earlier, I need to work on my comments as I dont think through things sometimes.
Other situations that increased my trust issues was when she would have her guy friend (who she knew from instagram) come over and crash at her place on the sofa (this did not make any sense as the guys grandmother lived nearby so he crashed at my girls place and not his grandmother's house??).
I would try my best to provide her with compliments despite barely receiving any from her, I would also provide her with reassurance by calling her beautiful words and I would get her chocolate, take her out to eat pizza(cause she loves pizza). Although sometimes I would be pushy when it came to trying new things as I really wanted her to experience new things....----> this often led to her being super defensive and she told me she was that way because her father was very aggressive and abusive to her. This relationship has led me to have self esteem issues as Ive felt as a second option with her many times despite me placing her as my first choice all the time! Near the time we broke up, I asked her if she believes our love languages have changed since we met and she said no (despite our love languages telling us both that we prioritize intimacy,actions, and trust which is something I felt like I've provided but not received back in return). My ex girlfriend was bisexual, which initially made me uncomfortable(im christian, shes an athiest) but soon enough I compromised as I cared for her and realized that it didnt matter as long as she was with me. I would ask her about her painting hobby as she loves to paint. (((A month before we broke up, she painted to girls kissing one another and told me that she painted it cause she had a dream that her and another girl were kissing each other (which just added unto my low self esteem); I noticed she always painted people and simply suggested she painted nature as she might find new interests in it (however, she became super defensive and later went on a rant saying I used words such as "you should paint" like I was forcing her or something....which never actually happened as she always gets super defensive.))) When we were breaking up, I let her know how i felt and informed her that I felt as though I was more invested in this relationship than she was to which she agreed. She also said that she was not able to provide (emotionally, intimacy, actions) because I would always argue with her (despite me providing for her even after we argue).
i guess im writing this to see if anyone else has been in a similar position as me and I would like some insight, thank you for reading.

tl;dr My girlfriend and I broke up as she told me to never text her again and I never did after she sent me that text. Can you provide me insight into whether I treated her right?
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2020.08.30 06:52 Minute_Pianist9644 Nude my grandmother

Me (20) and my ex girlfriend(21) met about a year ago on tinder, during our first few months we had a great time together and enjoyed each other's company quite well despite growing up in 2 different cultures.
However, as time passed by we both started to realized more and more about each other and our differences started to come in between us. To start, I was plagued with trust issues since my previous relationship ended in my significant other cheating on me (but thats besides the point).
One day, we were close and she was on her phone on instagram and I asked if i could see her feed/profile along with her DMs, she said she didnt mind and we checked it. I was a bit uncomfortable to find a lot of other guys complementing her, but I was even more uncomfortable with her because she would like their messages (instead of stating that she had a boyfriend). I brought it up to her and told her that I was uncomfortable and she played it off, which made me anxious. I was also uncomfortable about her posting half nude photos of herself for strangers to see; I no longer felt special if she shared her body with everyone to see.
Months later, she told me that she was moving out of her house (whom she shared with her mother) and into her own condo (which made me happy for her cause she was happy). Nonetheless, after the whole move I was surprised about how one of her guy friends helped her move despite me asking if she would like me to help her (which made me feel like a second option to her).
My anxiety would only increase in the following months as she would not let me see her phone (I never minded if she saw my phone as she knew my password). To get back at her (which was childish of me), I started speaking to my old close friend of mine who was a girl. This made her upset which was something I regret doing.
-----------------------------------------------
Flash forward a few months ->We would be on and off dating for many times, and during those times she would hang out with a guy (who liked her, and she knew he liked her) despite her knowing that we would probably get back together. (sidenote: im aware that i have no saying in who she sees when we are not dating, I was just sad as I felt like a second option to her when she would say things like that to me).
My previous relationship(when i got cheated on) allowed me to learn more about myself and how I want to treat my future significant others (which I applied to our relationship). I would always try to put her needs ahead of my own. About 8 times out of 10 I would be the one to text her first throughout the day (sidenote: she worked throughout the day but still had access to her phone and I just wanted her to message me to tell me she was thinking about me/cared). When it came to being intimate, 9 times out of 10 I would initiate anything physical which really lowered my self esteem.... I understood her situation (constantly working, rocky relationship with her parents, and she was depressed as was I [i have my own issues as all human beings do]), so I would try to take care of her by coming over and cooking for her every once in a while and i would try to clean her bathroom/dishes when I was over so she could feel less stressed out.
I tried to show her that i cared. However, despite me bringing up my issues with her regarding physical/emotional intimacy, little to no change followed.
--------------------------------------------------
There were a few things that I regret saying, as I am not smart when it comes to saying things at the top of my head. When she told me that her girl roomate slept with many guys I said "wow that must mean a lot of men fantasize about her"... and she took it in a very bad way as she assumed I meant I found her attractive(which I dont and Ive told her that I dont many times before). As stated earlier, I need to work on my comments as I dont think through things sometimes.
Other situations that increased my trust issues was when she would have her guy friend (who she knew from instagram) come over and crash at her place on the sofa (this did not make any sense as the guys grandmother lived nearby so he crashed at my girls place and not his grandmother's house??).
I would try my best to provide her with compliments despite barely receiving any from her, I would also provide her with reassurance by calling her beautiful words and I would get her chocolate, take her out to eat pizza, cook for her food and clean right after, even clean her dirty plates sitting in the sink for the past 3 days, I would always drive over to her place 45 minutes away...
All these things i would do for her but she would not reciprocate them which made me feel as though I was taken for granted ( and i explained that to her).
Although sometimes I would be pushy when it came to trying new things as I really wanted her to experience new things....----> this often led to her being super defensive and she told me she was that way because her father was very aggressive and abusive to her. This relationship has led me to have self esteem issues as Ive felt as a second option with her many times despite me placing her as my first choice all the time! Near the time we broke up, I asked her if she believes our love languages have changed since we met and she said no (despite our love languages telling us both that we prioritize intimacy,actions, and trust which is something I felt like I've provided but not received back in return). She was bisexual, which initially made me uncomfortable(im christian, shes an athiest) but soon enough I compromised as I cared for her and realized that it didnt matter as long as she was with me. I would ask her about her painting hobby as she loves to paint. (((A month before we broke up, she painted to girls kissing one another and told me that she painted it cause she had a dream that her and another girl were kissing each other (which just added unto my low self esteem); I noticed she always painted people and simply suggested she painted nature as she might find new interests in it (however, she became super defensive and later went on a rant saying I used words such as "you should paint" like I was forcing her or something....which never actually happened as she always gets super defensive.))) When we were FINALLY breaking up, I let her know how i felt and informed her that I felt as though I was more invested in this relationship than she was to which she agreed. She also said that she was not able to provide (emotionally, intimacy, actions) because I would always argue with her (despite me providing for her even after we argue).
i guess im writing this to see if anyone else has been in a similar position as me and I would like some insight, thank you for reading.
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