Voyeur swimming

You can’t achieve this goal if visitors aren’t sticking around to read your content. Identify your target market . The longer your visitors stay on your site, the more engaged they'll be, and the higher the chance for them to convert. Let’s take a look at a few ways on how to keep people on your website longer. 1. Fulfill your headline ... Looking for a rent to own country home around RED OAK can get a loan in a year i would just like to adjust my family in a house than buy it in a year please contact Nathan at (712-621-6468)call or ... Looking for a few visitors. SWITCH. ... I was visiting a strangers island a few minutes ago for a meteor shower, having a grand old time. But just as I finished my wishes and asked Orville to depart, the host asked if we could be friends. I would have said yes, but I couldn’t cancel out of Orville’ s dialogue. ... Houseguests come in all different flavors: there are the weekend family reunions, with every meal eaten together; there are the friends just using your place as a crash pad for a city visit; there are visits with little kids, and hence meal times are preset in granite; there are visits where your in-laws prefer to take you out to swanky restaurants every night. Supreme Court is looking for a few good tour guides: plans are underway to expand and enhance the program in anticipation of an increasing number of visitors which will require additional volunteer docents to handle tours. Another word for visitor. Find more ways to say visitor, along with related words, antonyms and example phrases at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. Ruger m77/22 Wood/blue - prefer older models (early90s) CZ 452 - 17m2 357 revolver Ruger or Smith preferably. Thanks. 870-819-1132 Post 131 is looking for a few good men and women to join their ranks in all areas of their organization. To find out if you qualify as a member and how you can get involved with the American ... Any blogger starting a blog will be eager to know the actual number of visitors visited each day. If he really knows that his traffic gets increased day by day he will feel encouraged with this work. Here let’s see few of such ways to find out the traffic of a particular site. Bridgeport Police Department Looking for a Few Good Women and Men to Make Law Enforcement Career By Connect-Bridgeport Staff on August 28, 2020 If individuals are looking for a career, the Bridgeport Police Department believes it may have the answer you want to hear.

2020.09.24 14:09 lvuheather Voyeur swimming

I'm bored of catching bugs by myself, anyone want to join me on my island? Swimming, fishing, shopping, voyeurism and general lazing about also welcome! Flick is here if you want to gaze into the eyes of a bug loving dragon!
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2020.09.18 02:55 alleal Voyeur swimming

I wrote this for A Swimming-Pool Library but wanted to share it here too. Warning: it's full of opinions.
It’s always interesting to me to see what kinds of queer fiction catch the attention of the mainstream. They seem to fall into a few different categories. The most common of these is the classic gay tragedy, such as Giovanni’s Room, Brokeback Mountain, and, more recently, A Little Life. Everyone loves a good tragedy, and queer people have the dubious honor of having one built right into their existence. Then, there are the innovative and experimental books, like Fun Home or The Argonauts, telling queer stories in queer ways that are exciting and unique. And finally, there’s what I’ve come to think of as the voyeur novel, exemplified by works like Less Than Zero and Last Exit to Brooklyn. These novels offer outside readers a glimpse into a mysterious queer world, a peek behind the moral curtain that obscures deviant cultural practices like cruising or prostitution. Behold, the queer in their natural habitat! Voyeur novels are like tourist attractions: readers slum it with the Other before retreating back to the safety and cleanliness of ‘the real world.’ It is in this last category that I place Garth Greenwell’s What Belongs to You.
What Belongs To You isn’t a bad book by any measure. It’s full of sleek and polished MFA prose, and features literary affects like single initials instead of names and no quotation marks, because who needs ’em? Its Bulgarian setting is peculiar to an American audience, and the narrator’s outcast status as foreigner offers an accessible, sympathetic connection to a broad range of readers. It was nominated for all kinds of awards, but in the end didn’t win any of them. No, it’s not a bad book at all. My complaint is that it’s precisely the type of queer book the mainstream has been conditioned to receive. Dysfunctional gay men pursuing elusive youths has been a staple of queer literature since they started allowing it to be published. Queer, Our Lady of the Flowers, The Thief’s Journal, City of Night, and Jack the Modernist are about that too, just to name a few. What Belongs To You wouldn’t be out of place in the slightest if it had been published 50+ years ago, so why are mainstream critics hailing it as a modern classic today? It’s precisely because the novel is not new, not innovative or unique that they say this. It’s safe. It sticks to the script. The sad fag blows a prostitute in a toilet stall then goes home to be sad. That’s a story they know what to do with. But we’re not like that anymore. Or, rather, we’re not only like that anymore. Queer life has evolved a lot since the ’70s, our stories should reflect that. And where Greenwell fails to do this in What Belongs to You, he succeeds in his second book, Cleanness.
In Cleanness, I see all the nuance that was missing from Greenwell’s first book. Same setting, same character, same problems, but all presented through a much more complex and variable lens. At times the narrator feels shame, but at others he feels pride. Sometimes he’s the teacher, sometimes the student. Confident and shy, included and rejected, in love and in lust, topping and bottoming; this time the narrator is a whole, real, queer person. The problem with What Belongs to You isn’t that it’s untrue (because it’s not), it’s that it’s incomplete. Cleanness is complete. And yet, it received nowhere near as much attention as Greenwell’s first novel. Now of course, we can’t be sure exactly why Cleanness didn’t make the same splash that What Belongs to You did, but I’ll tell you I suspect that it’s a little too queer for mainstream tastes. They know what to do with transgressive works, in-your-face wrongness of the Bret Easton Ellis variety. And they know what to do with sad queers, and they even know what to do with touching romances. But all of these at once? How can the piss-drinking submissive in “Gospodar” be out on an adorable date in “The Frog King”? How can the concerned and well-meaning teacher in “Mentor” be the same guy creeping on his student in “An Evening Out”? Are we supposed to love him or hate him? Pity him or be proud? There’s no easy answer and there shouldn’t be. There never is with a real person.
The mainstream wants a certain type of queer: an outsider, a tragic figure, a mirror for society. A character that can be reduced to a moral. We, the queer community, have a responsibility to deny them this. Their queer isn’t real. Their queer is about them, not about us. We must not be tricked into thinking otherwise. Our queer is… well, do we really know yet? Do we know what the modern queer looks like, really? I would say no, but we’re figuring it out. Just like so many of us spend years figuring out who we are after a lifetime in the closet, so too is our community attempting to discover a new cultural identity. But we can’t do that if we buy into the image of the mainstream queer. We can’t write for them, we need to write for us. Complex and multifaceted queers, queers that send the mainstream scurrying for their Love, Simons and Call Me By Your Names. Cruising and open relationships and age differences and genderfluidity and bondage and polyamory and difference. It’s not all good and it’s not all bad, but it’s all real. And that’s the only way we’ll get there.
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2020.09.13 15:56 TheSadMistress1359 Voyeur swimming

It is actually a whole separate category of porn and it is actually one of the most popular categories of porn for men. I do watch porn sometimes but I never got any video recommendations from this catagory of videos, until a few days ago, when I was watching porn and I got a video recommendation titled "spying on my sister masturbating". I clicked on that video and I saw that there was not just one, but hundreds of videos of guys spying on women and voyeurism. There were videos of men being spied too, but it is a lot lot more of women getting spied by men.
There were videos of spying on women masturbating in a hotel room, there were videos of spying on women changing their clothes, there were even videos of spying on women urinating in public restrooms. Actually, the number of videos spying on women using public restrooms is disturbingly high. I was truly very disgusted after seeing it and I felt like what I thought about "privacy" and "my privacy" my whole life doesn't actually exist at all. I felt like not just me, but every single woman doesn't have any privacy at all and there is always atleast one camera lens pointing at us and recording us no matter what we're doing, even if we're urinating.
Last year, I went on a business trip with my colleagues for a week and stayed in a hotel. Throughout the week, I might have rubbed one out a couple of times. I go to swimming pools every week and I change there every time. I've also used public restrooms many many times, and to think that I might have been recorded atleast once doing any of these private things and someone is watching it and jerking off to it makes me depressed and disgusted at the same time.
Now I personally don't mind if they're all staged, but the titles and video descriptions try to convince men as much as they can that they're not staged, as though knowing that a woman's privacy is being snatched away and she's being recorded non-consentually will give men stronger orgasms, which is both disgusting and disturbing. I absolutely hate this and in my honest opinion, this promotes non-consentual recording of women and encourages men to plant cameras in women's restrooms and changing areas. The advancement of technology will only make it easier for men to do this filthy illegal stuff and it'll only make it harder for women to escape this. I know that personally, I can never use a public restroom ever again due to the fear of being recorded by a filthy predator. I got to know about this late, but I atleast I got to know about it now, so that I can somehow try to stay away from being recorded.
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2020.07.24 23:34 MknzyCalhoun Voyeur swimming

Hi Im 34m and live in vancouver, bc. we are blessed with a gorgeous nude beach. It sports a off-section known as the gay part where guys cruise. I've seen guys beating off there once before but usually them go off into the woods i imagine or its just that I havent ever stuck around long enough or actually visited enough to see more. I'm recently single, and I for sure have this exhib/voyeur side of myself and haven't ever nurtured it. I want to though. I'm just painfully shy and absolute law abiding conformist so wrech beach (or bath house) seems like the only venue to explore this. I dont have any suitable friends to take with me either. And the gay part has silty mud off of the beach making any idea of actual swimming off limits so its just sun bathing. Whats the ettique here? do i be creepy and go by myself and "hangout" drink a few coolers smoke a joint and maybe read or crochet until some action becomes apparent or someone talks to me? Is this also how you make friends, gay ones?

edit: It would be irish lace crochet too, and assuming Im smart enough to realize now that crochet is probably a bad idea on the gay nude cruising spot beach what tf else would i be doing??? theres no swimming too recall cause of broken glass and mud.
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2020.07.09 05:56 Goodnight5600 Would you have allowed your daughter to attend a co Ed swim unit in gym class? Would you complain to the school?

atmy daughters schools from 8th -10th grade which she starts next year, in PE she attends the swim unit and boys and girls have it together? Why is this allowed? Wouldn't this make girls feel uncomfortable and give immature boys an opportunity to harass and humiliate girls? And cause distractions and goofing off among everyday? Not to mention young boys will be shirtless around young girls and I think that is inappropriate especially in a school setting My daughter keeps saying she does not care but she is young and may not understand how wrong this is this just seems wrong especially at school. Giving a boys a chance to leer at girls like this this class also pretty much just gives students to look at all the other students in bathing suits. What is this a party or something? How is this appropriate for school? Why is the school providing an avenue for voyeurism? can people really say honestly that young boys and girls will concentrate on swimming while they are around each other in bathing suits and not goof off? That boys (who aren't known for sensitivity) won't use this opportunity to harass or tease girls? what reason do they have to put them together? They can easily separate boys and girls buy taking the boys of another gym class and putting them with the boys in the gym class doing the swim unit and the same with girls This class gives boys an easy avenue to leer at and humiliate and harass girls. In the water they can easily grab them and make comments about their physical attributes To parents that are ok with this, explain why you are ok with putting your daughters in this situation and giving boys an opportunity to do what I mentioned? Luckily schools might not even open next yea
submitted by Goodnight5600 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.07.09 00:54 Goodnight5600 Would you allow your daughter to attend a co educational swim unit in gym class in school? Would you complain to the school board?

atmy daughters schools from 8th -10th grade which she starts next year, in PE she attends the swim unit and boys and girls have it together? Why is this allowed? Wouldn't this make girls feel uncomfortable and give immature boys an opportunity to harass and humiliate girls? And cause distractions and goofing off among everyday? Not to mention young boys will be shirtless around young girls and I think that is inappropriate especially in a school setting My daughter keeps saying she does not care but she is young and may not understand how wrong this is this just seems wrong especially at school. Giving a boys a chance to leer at girls like this this class also pretty much just gives students to look at all the other students in bathing suits. What is this a party or something? How is this appropriate for school? Why is the school providing an avenue for voyeurism? can people really say honestly that young boys and girls will concentrate on swimming while they are around each other in bathing suits and not goof off? That boys (who aren't known for sensitivity) won't use this opportunity to harass or tease girls? what reason do they have to put them together? They can easily separate boys and girls buy taking the boys of another gym class and putting them with the boys in the gym class doing the swim unit and the same with girls This class gives boys an easy avenue to leer at and humiliate and harass girls. In the water they can easily grab them and make comments about their physical attributes To parents that are ok with this, explain why you are ok with putting your daughters in this situation and giving boys an opportunity to do what I mentioned? Luckily schools might not even open next year
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2020.06.03 00:57 canyoufeelthat Voyeur swimming

Originally posted as response to this Writing Prompt
Charles held on to his wife and the railing as the ship tilted to an impossible angle. Lanterns from escaping lifeboats littered the waves, hovering in a void where the dark sky met darker water. A startling circle of new lights had started forming just beyond them, an apparent rescue party that did not want to approach too close in fear of endangering themselves. The way things were going, he didn’t blame them.
He had struggled to make it this far, having to drag Alayna from their room to escape the water spreading at their feet.
“Alayna, we must go!” Charles had screamed as his wife snatched jewelry and clothes from her trunk. They were running out of time. “You don’t need any of that, they won’t even let you take it on the boats!”
“I have to try Charles! We can’t afford to buy it all anew!” she rebuked. She didn’t know if that was true, but having them gave her comfort in the uncertainty.
“Just grab what you can and let’s g—my god,” Charles uttered as a surge of ice cold water pushed open their door from the hall and reached his knees. “We have to go NOW!”
Charles grabbed her wrist and didn’t let go until they found the wooden decks above, other passengers yelling and clamoring to board the lifeboats. They had waited their turn and watched as their hope for getting a seat dwindled with each launch, until the ship’s tilt prevented any more from being lowered.
Now they had an envious view of the lucky ones rowing away, toward the perimeter of foreign boats that circled the ship. They had to be foreign given their design, unlike any Charles had seen. He hoped he and Alayna would live to see them up close, but he was losing his grip on her and the railing as gravity tugged at them harder.
“Alayna, I know this is going to sound terrifying…but we have to jump,” Charles says.
“No, Charles!” Alayna replies, scared to move, and yet, scared to stay just as much.
“It’s our only hope. All those rescue boats are waiting to pick up the ones thrown overboard. They will fill up and leave us if we wait any longer. We can make it, we both have vests,” Charles explains.
“It’s so far down…,” Alayna says reluctantly.
“I know, but we just have to try. The ship won’t last much longer. Do you trust me?” Charles asks.
“Yes Charles, always,” Alayna answers. The two cautiously climb the rail, gusts of chilly sea air testing their grip.
“On the count of three…one…two…,” Charles says, hoping he isn’t making a terrible mistake, “…THREE!”
Legs kick off from the railing as hard as they can, propelling them into the cold unknown. Charles holds his breath and enters the waves feet first, instantly feeling like he has broken everything below the waist. At least a leg or foot. The harsh cold of the water immediately disrupts his nervous system and steals his breath away. He claws, struggles, gasps for what he assumes is up, and hopes Alayna is doing the same.
He surfaces to the wail of other swimmers experiencing the same cold and fear, scanning the water for Alayna. Surely she couldn’t stay down this long, he thinks. His worries and numbness double with each passing minute. Charles decides to pursue the only positive explanation, that she’s already made it to a rescue boat, and swims toward the nearest beacon of light he sees.
The peculiar shape of the craft adds to his disorientation, resembling a normal boat but with subtle differences his weary mind doesn’t have the ability to process at the moment. The crew doesn’t notice him until he gets close, their focus on the capsizing ship, and he begins calling out for assistance.
“P-please, please help!” he pleads, confused why they aren’t jumping to pull him out of the water.
“I—I’m sorry, I can’t…we aren’t allowed…,” the surprised figure says, regret evident in his voice.
“W-what do y-you mean?? P-pull me out of h-here!” Charles demands.
“We never should’ve stayed this long. I’m sorry,” the man says, pulling something from his pocket.
Charles visualizes himself being shot by the mysterious man an instant before the boat blinks out of existence, leaving Charles with his sanity in shambles. I’ve lost my mind, he believes, sure the stress of the night has started playing tricks on him. Hallucinations of rescue. Or maybe I died when I hit the water, and this is hell, he ponders. Either way, I’m surely on my way.
Charles’ feels the water leaching him of his body heat as he swims for the next boat. The man aboard notices him approach, and the look on his face gives Charles’ a sinking feeling. He isn’t going to help him either.
Charles’ swims faster, racing to beat his mind before it pulls the rug out from under him again. He doesn’t hesitate when the man pulls a device from his pocket, assuredly the same as the previous boatman. But the man is struggling to make this one work, frantic looks and aggressive pats on the side.
Charles’ flops onto the front of the craft, his mind painting an image of what he must look like to the person ahead of him; a creature rising from the deep, his thirst for survival casting him in an eerie silhouette.
“Why isn’t it working?! I’ve got to get out of here, for Christ’s sake!” the man calls out.
“P-p-please. D-don’t. L-le-eave,” Charles pleads, not stopping his crawl to the man.
“Stay back! Back damnit! I have to go, you can’t do this—”
“I-I have n-n-no choice,” Charles replies, striking the man with his frozen fist.
The voyeur of tragedy becomes one with the show, toppling over the side of the boat into the unforgiving waves. His lack of life vest evident, as his arms flail to fight off the spread of the cold and the pull of the depths below. It’s a battle Charles has witnessed hundreds of passengers lose. The man’s head is bested by a crashing wave, only finger tips visible, surfacing one last time for a final gulp of air before he’s taken for good.
Charles finds himself alone in the boat in a sudden calm, the occasional voice calling out from nowhere. He sprawls on the bottom of the hull, exhaustion taking over. He would have to find the vigor to row the boat to permanent safety, or wait for a real rescue boat to discover his blue corpse.
Or he can use that mysterious device.
Charles can’t fight the uncertainty and doubt bubbling; was it another fragment of his shattered psyche? He had made it this far, and he could already feel the frostbite erasing his nerve-endings. There was nothing else to do, he had to move.
Charles reaches out his shaky, blackened fingers to the device, feeling his wet skin stick to the icy metal case. He pulls it toward him, a slight glow emanating from what appears to be numerals on a glassy surface. Apprehensiveness mixes with relief and fatigue as he locates the only activation button.
“Alayna, I’ll find you…,” he declares, and with his last ounce of strength, presses down.
The time machine blinks out of the now silent dark of the Atlantic Ocean, leaving behind the icebergs and corpses for a new time and place.

Part II to come...
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2020.05.16 02:58 Opinion4554 Would you have allowed your daughter to attend a co educational swim unit in gym class in school? Would you have complained to the school?

at my daughters schools from 8th -10th grade which she starts next year, in PE she attends the swim unit and boys and girls have it together? Why is this allowed? Wouldn't this make girls feel uncomfortable and give immature boys an opportunity to harass and humiliate girls? And cause distractions and goofing off among everyday? Not to mention young boys will be shirtless around young girls and I think that is inappropriate especially in a school setting My daughter keeps saying she does not care but she is young and may not understand how wrong this is this just seems wrong especially at school. Giving a boys a chance to leer at girls like this this class also pretty much just gives students to look at all the other students in bathing suits. What is this a party or something? How is this appropriate for school? Why is the school providing an avenue for voyeurism? can people really say honestly that young boys and girls will concentrate on swimming while they are around each other in bathing suits and not goof off? That boys (who aren't known for sensitivity) won't use this opportunity to harass or tease girls? what reason do they have to put them together? They can easily separate boys and girls buy taking the boys of another gym class and putting them with the boys in the gym class doing the swim unit and the same with girls This class gives boys an easy avenue to leer at and humiliate and harass girls. In the water they can easily grab them and make comments about their physical attributes Parents of daughters. Why are you ok with this? Why do you want young “horny” boys to have an opportunity to eye up your daughter in a bathing suit?
It’s stuff like this that makes me kind of glad schools might switch to online for the time being
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2020.05.03 21:48 Opinion45533 Voyeur swimming

at my daughters schools from 8th -10th grade which she starts next year, in PE she attends the swim unit and boys and girls have it together? Why is this allowed? Wouldn't this make girls feel uncomfortable and give immature boys an opportunity to harass and humiliate girls? And cause distractions and goofing off among everyday? Not to mention young boys will be shirtless around young girls and I think that is inappropriate especially in a school setting My daughter keeps saying she does not care but she is young and may not understand how wrong this is this just seems wrong especially at school. Giving a boys a chance to leer at girls like this this class also pretty much just gives students to look at all the other students in bathing suits. What is this a party or something? How is this appropriate for school? Why is the school providing an avenue for voyeurism? can people really say honestly that young boys and girls will concentrate on swimming while they are around each other in bathing suits and not goof off? That boys (who aren't known for sensitivity) won't use this opportunity to harass or tease girls? what reason do they have to put them together? They can easily separate boys and girls buy taking the boys of another gym class and putting them with the boys in the gym class doing the swim unit and the same with girls This class gives boys an easy avenue to leer at and humiliate and harass girls. In the water they can easily grab them and make comments about their physical attributes Parents of daughters. Why are you ok with this? Why do you want young “horny” boys to have an opportunity to eye up your daughter in a bathing suit?
submitted by Opinion45533 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.04.20 13:20 Ronni-Pudding Swimming voyeur

CMBYN and What The Hell is Going On With Me? So I wrote this at about the time I first discovered this subreddit in February. This site warmly welcomed me and I really feel at home here. I've met some lovely people and had great discussions - someone called this a "digital family", and so it is! This is about me and CMBYN the film, and how very, very grateful I am that I found it. Apologies for the length, I was working hard at working things out in my head... also, it's a month today since my first 'vigil'.
Attention: Contains spoilers.
https://preview.redd.it/vgihdzeozyt41.jpg?width=4718&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d15834ed8017ad5e84bd2d3c034b1530c26a3be
This film preoccupies my mind more than it should. Actually, that’s a tremendous understatement, the truth is I’m obsessed with it - I’m spectacularly lost! I can’t remember how many times I’ve watched it over the last 4 months and when I’m watching it, it’s truly like I’m there, living it. When I’m not watching, I just want to go back to it as soon as I can, and until I can return I live in it in my daydreams - rent free. I’ve recently discovered that I’m far from alone in my reaction to CMBYN and this is a comfort because, yes, I’ve been wondering if this was my midlife crisis. A better explanation might be that it’s a coping mechanism for me right now. Of course, it might be neither of these reasons. It could be that, as far as I’m concerned, I’ve stumbled across The Perfect Film (cue chorus of angels). Writing this is to do with catharsis and trying to work out the reasons why I CANNOT stop watching this film. The following is how it happened.
In the surreal time between the recent death of my mother and the day of her funeral, when it was hard enough to keep breathing, let alone get out of bed and function in a normal way, I sought distraction and escape from the numbing loss in the only thing I thought might help me: film. On this occasion there had been none of the usual trawling through the ocean of available movie titles. I closed the shutters, got under a throw and flicked on the telly. I cast out an imaginary fishing line and promptly netted ‘Call Me By Your Name’. There was no rhyme or reason for this choice, I just saw the title, pressed play, and jumped in.
A few moments later I was transported to a familiar continental setting backed with the sound of crickets and birdsong. This, and the mixture of languages spoken, recalled my childhood holidays and roused memories of summers in the Spanish countryside, and of course forced to mind the memory of my departed parents. I now realise that what makes becoming an orphan even more painful is that when you lose your remaining parent you not only mourn them, you also mourn the loss of the first parent all over again. You double down on your mourning - it’s obscene.
The protagonists are introduced to each other: “Elio, Oliver. Oliver, Elio.” Elio is a brooding teenager. Oliver is older and an adonis. The film is told from Elio’s perspective, and as with every good film, CMBYN draws you in in a way that means more than just being a voyeur. If the film is particularly good you mentally take on the mantel of one of the main characters and you live the film through that person. I am Elio.
https://preview.redd.it/cu6ki4ywzyt41.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa7172ebeb605a06f7122a25074acb780008b857
Oh the sights and sounds of CMBYN! Everything I loved and remembered about the heady summertime days of my teenage years were playing out in front of me - the al fresco eating; the clatter and chatter of putting the world to rights at the dining table; being thrown together with strangers which at first is uncomfortable, but then things change; the bewildering feelings brought on by the first pangs of desire; the heat; coming to terms with your deep obsession; river and lake swimming; braving the dance floor and giving yourself up to music under the stars; dancing near, but not with them; the yearning of wanting something to happen but being afraid to show it for fear of rejection; being overly abrupt and awkward towards the one you long for, not wanting to be found out, yet equally wanting to be found out; the confusion; the utter resignation that you are lost to your obsession day after long summer day, and nobody else - however charming and attractive they may be - nobody, but the object of your fantasy can save you.
The film’s theme is the trials and tribulations on the journey to a first love that is deeply reciprocated. I welcomed this gratefully, sweeping it up and wrapping it around me like a warm blanket. The film is told from Elio’s perspective and you cannot help falling in love with him, even though he is petulant and obnoxious. I related so wholeheartedly to Elio’s struggles, specially the words not spoken between him and Oliver. This is a language extraordinarily identifiable and familiar to me. As a lovelorn teen I was fluent in this dialect as well as English and Spanish. There’s a pivotal moment in the film when Elio’s mum reads out the story of The Knight and The Princess from the Heptameron in which the Knight wonders, when it came to the love he felt for the Princess, is it “better to speak or to die?”. For some reason this hit me like a sledgehammer. Back in the day I’d never spoken up - things just played out over time, or simply passed me by. Now of course I didn’t have to think about it, of course it’s better to speak! Life is short! There is no time to waste! With death you realise this more acutely than at any other time.
I watch as Elio takes the ‘speak or die’ mantra and acts upon it:
https://preview.redd.it/c0widhc20zt41.jpg?width=1777&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f99c29ca3d20536958e1ee1c8b9e3cb7d7ac945d
Elio: “If only you knew how little I know about the things that matter.”
Oliver: “Why are you telling me this?”
Elio: “Because I wanted you to know.”
What unfurls is a tender and beautiful thing with not a cliché in sight. For both characters, its about struggling with first time situations and feelings and is relatable to anyone who has ever been in love or who wants to find love, and anyone who can remember what it is like to be besotted. The film gets it right: it feels messy and real. I’m sure many can relate to Elio’s experience of when finally, perhaps to his disbelief, what he has desired for so long finally happens, he wakes the next day and the joy he thought would last forever has suddenly dissipated to be replaced by confusion once more. Why?
Author André Aciman and film director Luca Guadagnino have created a relatable world that has tapped into a universal commonality. Nothing is more relatable than love, nothing is more heartbreaking than unrequited love, and I think this accounts for the vast fan base that exists for this story world-wide. This love story picks you up, carries you along, delights you, then chews you up and spits you out. You are left churned up with emotion, and yet, at the same time you know that what you have witnessed is something beautiful that will stay with you forever.

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I applaud the creators but especially Luca Guadagnino for crafting the telling of this story so perfectly with a rare, subtle sensuality that rocks you to the core. He concentrates on the smallest things that other directors rarely do: a lingering closeup of a small caress to the hand, a toe tentatively reaching for the other’s toe - these details are so much better than a full-on banging coupling.
I’m constantly amazed that with every watch I pick up on something new and wonderful, maybe from the set up of the shot, or the dialogue or just from the wonderful performances. Of course I’m also in awe of the phenomenal actors. I love every churned up emotion that flickers and plays over Elio’s face - no words are needed - I could write a whole piece on Timothée Chalamet’s superlative ability. Equally I’m in awe of the effective mask crafted by Armie Hammer’s Oliver which skilfully leaves us guessing as to his emotions. For the majority of the film he is cold fire, and totally unreadable. I love the moment Oliver steps into the glacial water at the berm and gasps “Its freezing!”. The shock of the cold rips away the façade he wears and his exclamation is in fact the first totally unguarded, honest thing that he’s said to Elio up until that point in the film. From then on, the mask begins to melt away, not without a struggle, but ultimately completely and beautifully. You have waited to read this feelings for so long, that when we are at last allowed to see them, they are beautifully and skilfully presented. Again I say bravo.
I have to mention the stunning monologue given by Michael Stuhlbarg who delivers astounding words that we should all live by. They are so heartfelt and wonderful that you hold your breath whilst listening to them. At this moment in time, he spoke the words I needed to hear, but I will not sully them by repeating them now. Suffice to say I realised I was quietly sobbing by the end of it. André Acimen's and James Ivory's words, with Michael Stuhlbarg's marvellous delivery affected me incredibly deeply, they woke me from my numbed stupor and made me feel again. This film has changed me forever, for the better.
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Another theme of the story, and this includes the original book and the so-called sequel "Find Me" (which is actually more of a postscript) is to do with loss, revisiting the past, and recalling those you love. This is all something that again is poignantly relatable to me at this moment in time. Is this is a trigger for my obsession? Again no, I think it is sheer coincidence that I’ve discovered a film that moves me immensely at a time when my emotions are already raw. Aciman makes a huge deal of time and ageing and dwelling on the past. In Find Me he talks about Elio and Sami’s ‘vigils’ - the visiting of sites which reminded Elio of Oliver, his first, deepest and lost love. After my mum’s passing I felt a need to go back to my childhood home, and so I dropped everything and did just that. I hadn’t been back in years, but the pull was strong, exactly like some ritualistic pilgrimage, I needed to be close to the past and what had once taken place with the people I loved. This made me totally understand the vigils Elio undertakes. I’m coming up to a ritual of my own in a few weeks time - seeing the magnolia tree outside Kenwood House in full bloom. This will from now on be my vigil in memory of my parents.
I think I’ve said enough. I think this is the messiest piece of writing I’ve ever posted. But I wanted the process of writing it to be cathartic, and it has been. This has taken me ages to put down and has gone through many, many changes and forms, but I’ve worked it out now. It’s quite simple: I’m sad and somehow ‘Call Me By Your Name’ has given me another focus and helped me through the worst of times. It has indeed been a coping mechanism, which I feel I won’t need forever. I will never get over my loss, but it will get better. I will continue to watch CMBYN until I don’t need to anymore. However, for reasons of the sheer joy that it gives me, I don’t think that will be any time soon. I’m so grateful for this film and its makers, and I confess, like Elio, I’m in love. I’m in love with the perfect film.

20 March 2020. Picture of my 'vigil'.
try as i might i can't get it the right way round. story of my life... haha
Although I have never been to Crema, today in the midst of the madness and death going on in the world, my heart is there and other hotspots around the globe.
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2020.04.20 02:20 Opinion45533 Voyeur swimming

at my daughters schools from 8th -10th grade which she starts next year, in PE she attends the swim unit and boys and girls have it together? Why is this allowed? Wouldn't this make girls feel uncomfortable and give immature boys an opportunity to harass and humiliate girls? And cause distractions and goofing off among everyday? Not to mention young boys will be shirtless around young girls and I think that is inappropriate especially in a school setting My daughter keeps saying she does not care but she is young and may not understand how wrong this is this just seems wrong especially at school. Giving a boys a chance to leer at girls like this this class also pretty much just gives students to look at all the other students in bathing suits. What is this a party or something? How is this appropriate for school? Why is the school providing an avenue for voyeurism? can people really say honestly that young boys and girls will concentrate on swimming while they are around each other in bathing suits and not goof off? That boys (who aren't known for sensitivity) won't use this opportunity to harass or tease girls? what reason do they have to put them together? They can easily separate boys and girls buy taking the boys of another gym class and putting them with the boys in the gym class doing the swim unit and the same with girls This class gives boys an easy avenue to leer at and humiliate and harass girls. In the water they can easily grab them and make comments about their physical attributes Parents of daughters. Why are you ok with this? Why do you want young “horny” boys to have an opportunity to eye up your daughter in a bathing suit?
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